I have absolutely no business reviewing restaurants. Consider the facts: I like Ramen noodles. I burn my meat. And I'm pretty sure the Klondike Bar is the pinnacle of modern cuisine.
I've also heard good things about Applebee's.
But when it comes to restaurant feedback, someone like me can just go online and write literally anything. And people might actually read it.
Editor's note: Each week in "Apparently This Matters," CNN's Jarrett Bellini applies his warped sensibilities to trending topics in social media and random items of interest on the interwebs.
There's a great dive bar in my neighborhood called Jack's where they oven-bake the chicken wings. And they're absolutely amazing. I'm not saying I've had semi-inappropriate fantasies about them. But I'm also not denying it.
Yes. Things continue to be weird at home.
Fame Bites goes inside the belly of the entertainment beast. We're dishing out where the celebrities are eating, what they're eating and who they're eating with.
Though he lives in Colorado now, Jeff Austin will always call Chicago home, and that, perhaps, is a rather unlikely place to spawn a professional mandolin player. On the other hand, the Windy City is ripe for churning out foodies, and if you follow Jeff on Twitter, you’ll know that food is one of his favorite topics.
Most people, however, simply know him as one-fourth of the Nederland, Colorado-based Yonder Mountain String Band with which he tirelessly tours to audiences around the world.
When the progressive bluegrass band rolled through Atlanta on their current Cabin Fever Tour, CNN joined Jeff for dinner at Rathbun Steak where we managed to order probably enough food to heartily feed everyone in attendance at their sold out show at The Tabernacle. Alas, nothing was left but bones...
Video producer Jarrett Bellini covers comedy for CNN. He has a really lustrous red beard.
I'm still not exactly sure how it's pronounced.
It's either POO-teen or PUT-sin. Or it could also be something completely different. I generally don't get things.
But however you say it, poutine is going to slowly (and deliciously) kill Canadians one at a time in a long nationwide drum circle of exploding aortas.
Trust me. It will happen eventually...and it'll totally be worth it!
New Orleans residents, and the millions of people who pour into the city each year for Mardi Gras, Saints games and the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival (a.k.a. "Jazz Fest") know that the city is fueled by a fierce passion for life, art, music and perhaps most of all - its food. In the face of almost unimaginable tragedy, the city's signature cuisine sustained the bodies, spirits and souls of its people and inspired them to fight ever-mounting odds to keep the culture they love alive for future generations.
Eatocracy gathered together some of Louisiana most vibrant, vocal and knowledgeable residents, fed them a multi-course meal crafted by celebrated chef John Besh, and asked them what they think makes New Orleans cuisine such a vital part of the culture.
And when people like CNN's James Carville and Mary Matalin, chef and civil rights activist Leah Chase, Mad Men star Bryan Batt, food scholar Poppy Tooker, Treme writer Lolis Eric Elie, CNN Hero Derick Tabb and fisherman Lance Nacio sit together at a table, they're going to talk with their mouths and their hearts full.
Watch the video and share your fondest New Orleans memories and your favorite restaurant tips in the comments below.