If at some point my rapidly advancing decrepitude becomes just too much for me to bear, I'm not too fussed. I have a plan. I'm going to quit my job, my home, my life up North and seek employment at the first outpost of the K&W Cafeteria chain that will have me. By all reputable accounts, no one who works there has ever aged so much as a day since they opened in 1937.
I have no empirical proof that this is true. I've only been aware of the existence of the K&W for the past seven years, but I've been privy to enough anecdotal accounts to suggest that the "congeal" molecule in a K&W tomato aspic is the key to life eternal. This was, in fact, a discovery made by the owners - members of an alien race who came to Earth many decades ago to study us and keep us in their sway via the power of luscious gravy, sweet tea and reasonable prices on classic Southern cafeteria-style food. And, I'm cool with it.
I know how this scene goes. You stroll into the convenience store looking for your typical travel snacks: Teriyaki beef jerky, pepperoni pizza Combos and a Diet Dr. Pepper. And as you peruse the aisle just to make sure there's not a sweet treat that suits your fancy, you catch a glimpse of some canned goods: microwavable beef ravioli, potted meat, and Vienna Sausages.
"Bleh, Vienna sausages. Seriously? Who in the world eats that?"
Allow myself to introduce myself. My name is Jeremy Harlan and I do love me some Vienna Sausages. They are my perfect finger snack for long driving assignments. And in my humble opinion, they are a cornerstone of any quality convenience store. (I'm talking to you, Sheetz.)
Why do I like them? I can't give a specific reason, I just enjoy prying them out of the can and eating them one by one.
Holy crap, did I used to drink a lot of Diet Coke. Not just a can or two at lunch and one with dinner. Not just a pick-me-up in the afternoon or the tail end of a droopy morning. More like two liters a day at the very minimum - sometimes four.
Had the end times come and yea and verily the East and Hudson rivers risen up and swallowed New York, I could have easily lashed together a raft of the empty plastic bottles I'd amassed in my recycling bin since the last trash day. First port of call: wherever they're keeping the rest of the Diet Coke. And I'd probably have to fight for it.
Some people say bacon has jumped the shark. We say mmmmm...shark bacon! Howard Winer is a Supervising Producer at CNN.
Thank goodness my parents never kept Kosher. Had they, I might not have discovered the joys of boiled Maine lobstuh, steamed Maryland crabs or the number one no-no - bacon. High five to you now, Mom and Dad, because these days– bacon isn’t just a side at breakfast. You can drink your bacon, have it on a burger in a whole new way or, even better, for dessert.
If you’re ready for a Bac-spedition, start with it shaken, not stirred, in a Bakontini. All it takes is some Bakon Vodka. Or, make any day a Sunday and go for a Bakon Mary, heavy on the Tabasco, please. If you’re in the mood for sweet, think about a creation from the Dionysus Restaurant & Lounge in Baltimore: the Waffle Shot. It’s one part Bakon Vodka, one part Pinnacle Whipped Vodka. [Editor's note: We in no way endorse this behavior. Because eeewwwww!]
In a city celebrated for its "cawfeee" accent and doughnut-shaped rolls, the store that by many accounts is New York's bagel-lovers' paradise is set to shutter its doors.
H&H Bagels - a Manhattan landmark of sorts - will sell its last homemade dozen and close on Sunday, according to Moshe Fintz, the company's business manager.
The store's no-frills business model and doughy circles earned a cult-like following over its 39-year history on 80th Street and Broadway.
Many loyal customers aren't taking the news of the closing lightly.
"We have to preserve what's unique about New York," said James Besser, a pianist from Manhattan's Upper West Side. "And what's distinct about us here is the bagels."
Live from the Aspen Food & Wine Festival: After a long night on the line, sometimes chefs like Chris Cosentino, Susan Feniger and Sang Yoon just need to kick back with a little bit of crunchy goodness - and don't skimp on the salt, says Michael Chiarello.
Don Lemon and Eatocracy's managing editor Kat Kinsman chat about Aspen celebrity sightings, overlooked ingredients and the snacks that chefs crave when they've got a wicked case of the munchies.
Linda Petty is an editor at CNN Living. She took issue with last Thursday's 5@5 on the appeal of raw vegetables.
A good friend of mine moans with delight when she bites into the perfect raw red pepper or green bean. She talks about the flavors of fresh vegetables the same way some women talk about good sex.
But not me. I like my veggies the same way I like my congressmen – with a little something on them.
This month I discovered the joy of asparagus fries at Marlow’s Tavern in Tucker, Georgia. They take young, thin stalks of not-my-favorite veggie, dip them into tempura batter and flash fry them just enough to crisp the batter. Add a little salt and they are ready to be dipped into the citrus aioli that accompanies them.
This summer, CNN's Defining America project will be traveling the country with the CNN Express bus to explore the stories behind the data and demographics that show how places are changing. This week, CNN brings you coverage from North Carolina.
There was a time when every North Carolina family loved – or at least knew – liver mush. It's the cuisine of grandma's house, snow days and simpler times, a local delicacy some natives defend with the same loyalty they have to Carolina barbecue and Cheerwine.
Back then, it was the economical way to get some meat in your diet when times were tough, a high-iron addition to a kid's lunch, or a fried-till-crispy comfort breakfast beside fat slices of tomato and muskmelon.
Eatocracy has a well-documented fondness of In The Arena host and former New York State governor Eliot Spitzer's devotion to the culinary offerings of the CNN Cafe. We were simply gobsmacked to find out that he's something of an expert jam maker as well.