Coffee klatsch
July 14th, 2014
05:00 AM ET
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  1. Caption This!

    She could not contain her joy at finally marrying her husband, whom she adores.

    He could not get his last sixty minutes in the dungeon out of his mind...now what was her name again? Alice, Alison, Andy?

    July 19, 2014 at 12:14 am | Reply
  2. Schlemmy, from the Catskills

    A seal walks into a bar. The bartender says: "What'll it be, pal? The seal replies: "Anything but a Canadian Club."

    July 17, 2014 at 11:15 am | Reply
    • Disturbing

      "joke."

      July 17, 2014 at 12:03 pm | Reply
      • Derp

        Wuss

        July 17, 2014 at 1:31 pm | Reply
        • Sticks

          and stones...

          July 17, 2014 at 1:45 pm |
        • AleeD®

          What a bunch of comedians – or comediennes. Welcome to Finally Friday.

          July 18, 2014 at 8:01 am |
    • Smarmy, the Nightclub Comic

      A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re quite the celebrity around here – we’ve even got a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says, “You’ve got a drink named Steve?”

      July 17, 2014 at 12:54 pm | Reply
    • Snarky the Clown

      One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

      First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

      "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy.

      "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

      "Excellent, Michael!"

      Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...

      “Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful!"

      July 17, 2014 at 1:11 pm | Reply
      • PairAzz Hilton

        I Don't get It ??

        July 17, 2014 at 1:20 pm | Reply
      • Bozo the Wasilla Politico

        He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.

        July 17, 2014 at 1:27 pm | Reply
        • CSI Boston

          We have DNA from said Horse and are also running it's license plate through our DataBase. You Will be Caught.

          July 17, 2014 at 1:32 pm |
  3. ™©JbJiNg!eŚ®™

    Dayum, it's hot here! 107 today...hoping to break mom out today... :)

    July 17, 2014 at 8:44 am | Reply
  4. AleeD®

    WAAAAAAAAKE UP!

    July 17, 2014 at 7:00 am | Reply
    • Slackers Anonymous

      Damn…My Obamma Phone quit working and I'm late to cash my Welfare check. Must be thursday..sigh.

      July 17, 2014 at 7:25 am | Reply
      • AleeD® @ SA

        There's a disturbance in the dungeon and I must attend. As penance for your lame, politically-based excuses, you get to make coffee for the Lounge today – all day. Get to it or you'll be the next disturbance with which I deal. ~_~

        July 17, 2014 at 7:42 am | Reply
      • Big Ben @Slick Sick Slacker

        Funny thing;
        The Federal Government gave States control over how welfare is distributed in 1992. Blame your governor for your phone. And also for your hand out not being paid automatically to a debit card like most every state does – working this way keeps you from signing over your check to a street shark and keeps you from going into another drunken whine binge with your bag buddies.

        July 17, 2014 at 1:11 pm | Reply
  5. TNT

    Good morning all!
    @JBJ, Sounds like things are getting back on track, I'm happy for you! Is your mom still doing good?
    @RichardHead, Send those beavers this way when you're done, ok? We (our area) can use all the help we can get. *sigh*

    July 16, 2014 at 8:00 am | Reply
    • ™©JbJiNg!eŚ®™@TNT

      Thanks for the encouragement and asking about mom...her recovery in the hospital not going as good as the surgery unfortunately. Less pain yesterday, but her counts were too low so they were going for a transfusion last night, hoping for better news today and hopefully let her come home. Prayers and positive thoughts welcomed here.

      July 16, 2014 at 8:43 am | Reply
      • TNT

        Awww, I'm sorry. Not sure what type of surgery she had, but, I'm sending many wishes for a speedy recovery. Nobody should hurt...😔

        July 16, 2014 at 11:28 am | Reply
      • Mary Shannon

        Positive thoughts headed your way!

        July 16, 2014 at 1:32 pm | Reply
  6. Echo

    Hellooooooo? Helloooo? Hello?
    Echooooooo Echoooo Echo

    July 15, 2014 at 12:23 pm | Reply
  7. ™©JbJiNg!eŚ®™@Mom Casita

    1oh9 when I arrived Sunday, then a monsoon hit that night! Moms surgery went good, doc said she might get to come home today... Thanks for the well wishes everyone! Hugs

    July 15, 2014 at 9:09 am | Reply
    • AleeD®

      Wahoo! I'm so glad things are finally going well for you. Also very glad things went well with your madré's surgery. When you get back, there will be a "special" appointment set up for you in the dungeon.

      July 15, 2014 at 9:17 am | Reply
      • ™©JbJiNg!eŚ®™@Mom Casita

        Why thank you, I could really use a massage...I also mostly finished the kitchen and master bedroom at my new place, beeutiful if I do say so myself, posted some pics On fb Sunday... :)

        July 15, 2014 at 9:35 am | Reply
      • ™©JbJiNg!eŚ®™@AleeD

        You've got mail, and my iPad is about to die... :))

        July 15, 2014 at 9:39 am | Reply
        • AleeD® @ ™©JbJiNg!eŚ®™

          Got the pix. Verrry elegant Mi'lady. You have done a great job.

          A massage ... in the dungeon? Well ... we do manipulate various parts of the human body to, sometimes, climactic endings. Sometimes not depending on what they ask for. But no one has ever referred to them as massages. ~_~

          July 15, 2014 at 9:56 am |
    • Mary Shannon

      Very good news on your Mom's surgery....and your pics were lovely on FB. Enjoy the cool while it lasts!

      July 15, 2014 at 11:08 am | Reply
      • ™©JbJiNg!eŚ®™@AleeD and MS

        Thank you! Still a lot of work to do...kitchen cabinets are cavernous and not very space efficient, searching for organizing products so I can reach everything! I need a good sturdy step stool! :)

        July 15, 2014 at 12:32 pm | Reply
  8. AleeD®

    Yaaaaaaawn. Coffee's brewing ... I've got my head on the counter ... caboose on a stool ... waiting for the first drip ... THERE IT IS! She whips her mug under the dark liquid-fall-of-goodness .... because Rich hid the IV bags again. :p

    July 15, 2014 at 6:48 am | Reply
    • Train Conductor

      Move along people,Nothing to see here…and move that caboose Lady !!!!

      July 15, 2014 at 7:51 am | Reply
      • AleeD®

        That's "caffeinated caboose" to you mister.

        July 15, 2014 at 8:27 am | Reply
  9. Photo Caption™

    She thinks..."A plus sign! All our our joys are coming true! This will bring such happiness to our lives".

    He thinks. "well, so much for retiring at fifty"...

    July 14, 2014 at 3:02 pm | Reply
    • Caption America

      Wife: "Is that a biscotti in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

      July 16, 2014 at 12:17 pm | Reply
  10. caption this

    Ted's morning routine usually involves taking his coffee in front of the bedroom mirror while taking his big-boned wife from behind.

    July 14, 2014 at 1:59 pm | Reply
    • Ralph Nader

      Things in the mirror appear Bigger than normal….She is Now realizing this fact.

      July 14, 2014 at 2:23 pm | Reply
      • That Explains Alot

        He wondered, "She was choking on her toothbrush but never on me. Hmmmm."

        July 14, 2014 at 2:47 pm | Reply
    • El Caption

      Ted never misses an opportunity to remind his double-chinned wife how much prettier he is than she. "Don't fret," he tells her on this particular occasion, "at least you make a decent cup of coffee."

      July 17, 2014 at 2:55 pm | Reply
  11. ∞ Weeds ∞

    For your Lunch reading pleasure.
    http://www.dweebist.com/ and please look at the photo titled "Calm"
    Another good on is on page 17 where I first landed searching for ghetto pools and I found the Lab Dogs – a classic

    p.s. Jerv, I am not weeds, I am shrubs, yeah, that's the ticket.

    July 14, 2014 at 1:39 pm | Reply
    • Jerv

      Okay, shrubs. What's your favorite recipe?

      July 20, 2014 at 4:49 am | Reply
  12. Jdizzle McHammerpants ♫♫

    Well now what? I always feel like this when the World Cup and the Olympics are over.

    NFL preseason in just a few weeks!

    July 14, 2014 at 10:20 am | Reply
    • Baseball R Us

      MLB all star game is tomorrow.

      July 14, 2014 at 10:24 am | Reply
      • Chico Escuela

        Beisbol has been berry berry goo0d to me…...

        July 14, 2014 at 12:36 pm | Reply
    • Ms. Grammar

      20 days to first pre-season football game (Bills v. Giants)...go BILLS!!!

      July 14, 2014 at 1:33 pm | Reply
      • Jimmy Hoffa

        I gotz Front Row seats…Grab me a couple Rutt's cremators plz.

        July 14, 2014 at 1:36 pm | Reply
    • ∞ Weeds ∞

      Yeah and the wiffle ball championship was this weekend too. Guess there's nothing else to do now but work the tan until football season. Tanning booths in a Vegas casino – my million dollar idea. Baseball and tanning are about the same speed. A great multi-slacking pair.

      July 14, 2014 at 1:45 pm | Reply
  13. RichardHead

    YAWNNNNNNN--Must be Monday--Guess I'll make coffee.

    July 14, 2014 at 5:52 am | Reply
    • AleeD®

      Mornin' Bro
      Thanks for the joe.
      How'd your weekend go?

      July 14, 2014 at 6:39 am | Reply
      • RichardHead@My 'Sista

        She's a poet & Didin't know it…Weekend was good till last night,had a BIG storm roll through and now have a downed tree branch on the porch over hang out back. Glad it's back there so people won't hear me cuss while trying to get it down. Rain due all week,SIGH. On the bright side…we should break the drought in the Houston area,for at least a week anyway. How was Yours ??

        July 14, 2014 at 6:50 am | Reply
        • AleeD® @ RichBro

          Maybe your neighbors will appreciate larnin' gnu woids. You never know.

          Weekend was ok. Went out with a friend on Sat. and found a cool Warhol bedecked chocolate shoppe: Ashworth Artisan Chocolate. Good eats, but the guy behind the counter acted like someone p e e d in his granola. The chocolate itself was equal to what you get at Godiva but you get much better service at Godiva. We won't be back.

          The rest of the visit included lunch at Piquant. Had the Chiorizo, goat cheese flat bread with pesto & balsamic vinegar glaze. It's alot more phoo-phoo sounding than I usually eat, but was VERY tasty and filling.

          Bee careful with that chainsaw. Would hate to have to use a new moniker for you: RichardHalfHand

          July 14, 2014 at 7:31 am |
        • RichardHead@My 'Sista

          Hmmmmm…Good point. Perhaps I'll rent a couple Beavers,put 'em up in the tree and let 'em have at it. Gotz to think outside the box some times.

          July 14, 2014 at 7:56 am |
        • Mary Shannon

          Or, attach ropes to the puppies and let 'em run around like usual, the branch will be pulled down immediately with no danger to anyone! :-)

          July 14, 2014 at 8:50 am |
        • AleeD®

          Puppies? Beavers?
          *head explodes*

          July 14, 2014 at 9:53 am |
        • ∞ Weeds ∞

          Yep chainsaws, ropes and ladders... better off juggling kitchen knives. Be careful.

          July 14, 2014 at 1:50 pm |

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