As journalists at CNN.com, we often have serious, hard-hitting debates in our newsroom about ethics, compelling storytelling, and our responsibility to aid democracy as the fourth estate.
Today warranted no discussion, as we came to a unanimous decision about a very important topic: Donut ratios.
We decided when it comes to this beloved pastry it’s either go simple, or go home.
Here's how it went down. An unnamed manager lost a bet to a producer earlier in the week and promised the team donuts as a reward. Wednesday came and went. Thursday, not a circular treat to be found. Finally, Friday – redemption day.
Excitement peaked as the humbled boss approached with two boxes of Dunkin' Donuts, but sadness set in as he made the reveal. There before us, 18 treats. And three quarters of them were filled with...something. Something icky, something sticky, something jelly, creamy, apple, or completely unidentifiable.
I personally, was looking forward to a blueberry cake donut. “This many filled?” I asked out loud.
“These are more like pies,” I said, and my grabbing hands receded. I was not alone in my assessment. Other colleagues began to notice the ratio and shot snarky complaints across our desks.
“This is passive-aggressive donut buying!” remarked one producer, who managed to snag a limited hole-bearing option, frosted with pink and green.
“You only did a bad job buying donuts so we’d stop asking you,” replied another lucky worker who got the only chocolate-topped option.
What is the perfect ratio of filled donuts to regular ones? About a quarter of 18 should have been filled, we decided. Four out of 18. Not 12 out of 18.
You tell us. Are we being ungrateful? Should we not dwell?
After a week of asking for our sugary reward our hopes were high. We all wanted a snack, but discovered we prefer autonomy to decide for ourselves the scale of our own indulgences. Most would have preferred a choice that included chocolate cake, glazed, or adorned with sprinkles.
Maybe next time we’ll ask for cookies instead - but God help the boss if he brings us 18 oatmeal raisins.
Previously in donut news:
National donut day!
The audacity of the independent donut
Maine residents manic for potato donuts
Hilarious article. I know it was tongue in cheek - especially the comment about the choices being passive-aggressive. This could be an episode straight from the TV show "The Office"'.
All of the snarky comments feed right into that premise, so thanks for playing!!
Now I have to buy doughnuts. It's been months. Thanks, jerks. (Unfilled, chocolate frosted yeast rings, not cake style, btw)
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. It's rude. This is such an ill-mannered, entitled and ungrateful generation....I'm really embarrassed to be part of it.
Only suckups bring in this kind of nasty unhealthy food.
Right...because if they really wanted to be nice and do a kind deed, without sucking up, they'd bring carrots! What if the boss is the one that brings the donuts? Are they sucking up?
Watch the Jenna Marble donut challenge. Run 2 miles, eat 12 donuts, run 2 more miles.
Love Jenna! Ha Ha.
You ungrateful wretches.
I really dont care as long as its from a real donut place, donuts from the grocery store bakery are vile disgusting abominations, yet 90% office donuts are from there, and 90% of the time the box is still half full at the end of the day. They empty the box in an hour when theres dunkin donuts.
So you think a "real" donut is better than a pretend donut from the store. That's like saying you think a toy is only good if it's bought at Toy R Us. They're all crap for you, so what is the real difference? Better tasting poison?
If I'm going to poison myself, I prefer to enjoy it.
Yes better tasting, what bizarre concept for food, how did you figure that one out professor?
...and you can eat a tomato plucked fresh from the vine at it's peak ripeness, or you can eat one from a can. Which one do you think is better?
One's a tomato. The other one is a tomato.
However, proper preparation can make the same ingredients sublime or horrid.
It's like people saying "I can't eat raw fish! That's terrible!" and they dismiss it. Yet, they've never had skillfully selected and prepared sushi. Food is not a democratic commodity. It varies wildly in quality.
Here in the U.S., we tend to get the lower end of the offerings.
Yay! 2 Polls!
I don't trust anyone who likes a jelly.
I don't trust anyone who likes a jelly donut.
But its only hot blueberry sauce!
Get back to work you bloated gas bags. Stop wasting time with donuts.
Says the dolt who is wasting time reading article about donuts and posting similarly inane comments.
One of our engineers were so excited about a new Crispy Creme that he brought 2 boxes of them for everyone at work....no one ate them....this is Seattle, we are a bunch of liberals, we don't eat junk food.
There are no Krispy Kremes in Alaska so whenever someone stops in Seattle they'll get a couple boxes and bring them up there for their friends.
I don't care for donuts, except the mini powdered ones. Especially when I'm baked.
2 Boxes of 12 donuts = 18?
Well it says he brought 2 boxes and there were a total of 18 treats. So I'm assuming there were 9 in each box not 12.
one dozen plus half dozen = 18
Yeah. It is pathetic to complain. Your getting free donuts. If you didn't like jelly you should have specified. I would bet my WHOLE life savings that this is a liberal complaining... Not the 'right' free stuff for them.
You're an idiot
I don't think I could ever bring myself to complain to someone who has spent out-of-pocket to bring donuts for his co-workers.
The very best are the custard filled with chocolate icing!
One thing I have learned years ago. When you order donuts to being into work, you select the types yourself. You never, ever, ask the person behind the counter to select the types. They always pick the poorest selling, and the ones that have been sitting the trays the longest. In other words, the types no one else really wants (and guess what, your coworkers will not like those types either).
The key is to pick the donuts YOU want. As it is a total gratuity, you should be entitled to make sure that there will be enough of your favorite kind. Others needs are secondary.
The US really needs you to get back to the "forth estate" discussion.
Hint: This story on a news site is part of the problem.
Hey, you clicke dit. This is the eatocracy portion of CNN, they talk about food. Do you mean it shouldn't have a front page link? In Its defense, it is "below the fold" on the website.
I like donut shaped donuts. Filled ones are just messy. Long Johns are acceptable as they are just different shaped glazed (but unfilled). Oh and Krispy Kreme totally pwns Dunkin Donuts as far as the actual donuts go, but Dunkin has better coffee.
Interestingly enough Krispy Kreme came charging into the local market and 3 years later they closed up every store in a 50 mile radius and left the area. Their product was highly over rated.
The same thing happened here with Krispy Kreme. They came in at first and did great business. Then their donuts started showing up in convenience stores, supermarkets, and Targets. They were everywhere you went, but unless you got them directly at Krispy Kreme directly, they weren't warm or fresh, which is what made them so good in the first place. They overexposed themselves out of the market.
there are a million dunkin donuts and like 5 krispie kremes in the US, your complaint doesnt apply to the majority
Here there are no DD's within 300 miles and at least 10 KK's.
I hate doughnuts/donuts.
The only "epic fail" I see in this story is the rudeness of that office staff.
I have to agree. Someone is kind enough to being in donuts, you thank them and select one.
Calling this news is an epic fail.
I don't think anyone did–it's an article on a food blog.
Ummm...looks like he nailed the ratio. There is nothing worse than a box of donuts filled with simple plain or glazed. Filling is crucial.
Go big or go home
Shipley's – Best doughnuts/donuts ever.
agreed with the shipleys!
Shipley's is delicious. I use to never eat glazed donuts but theirs are amazing. They are always fresh and warm. Unfortunately I no longer live close to one.
Then you should move
thats great, any more local food places you can share that we've never heard of?
Bad style, OK on the whole (get it? on the whole -like donut, anybody??).
The article is written like an inside joke – probably amusing to the storyteller but the rest of the world doesn't care about your office.
If somebody is going to write on the topic, the issue should be blatantly and openly light-hearted and certainly far more to the point than this. Otherwise, the tone is just pretentious and unflattering because, as I said before, nobody cares about the social life in your office. But we do care about a 1 paragraph article asking my personal opinion.
It's this sort of writing (not the topic) that makes it obvious the author is still fresh out of college.
It's National Donut Day you dweebs. The topic is absolutely OK today.
I didn't realize doughnut/donut content was so controversial. My personal favorite from DD is extremely hard, if not impossible to find. Ironically, it is the namesake donut for the chain. It is the cake donut with the little handle. The regular cake donut is ok, but the Dunkin Donut has a crispier exterior and is not as sweet. Plus the little "handle" made it easier to dunk. When I was young (JoeRootBeer) I thought my father was weird because he liked the cake variety most. Now it's mine.
For the record, when I was a manager in an office, I used to have to cover Saturday mornings about once every 6 weeks for staff overtime. I always brought 2 dozen mixed (out of my own pocket) and no more than 1/4 to 1/3 of them were filled. Mostly were glazed, chocolate covered, crullers, cinnamon, sugar, sprinkles, etc, etc. Everybody always appreciated it.
I almost forgot. Google "donuts made from pancake mix". I think it's the first recipe that pops up. Super easy to make and you toss them from the oil into a paper bag with cinnamon & sugar. They are very easy to make and my family loves them.
Thanks for the google hint! I may have to try that one of these days :-)
People that complain about the free stuff they get at work need to be shot. Next time that guy needs to buy doughnuts for you spoiled newsertainment workers he should buy ALL filled ones.
I voted for custard filled! Those are the favorites at my office too. Although we have donuts about once a year... All of my pregnant friends (including myself) however, love donuts at the moment...in GENERAL. It's fried sugary dough. Seriously, how can it go wrong? (please don't answer that! haha)
I hate it when someones free gift doesn't live up to my expectations. I also hate it when my wallet is too small for my $100 bills and my diamond shoes are too tight.
I like the kind of donuts that come in a box!
I agree, and honestly the author and co-workers come across as a bunch whiney cry babbies. You got doughnuts that you didn't pay for or apparently earn. If you are going to be so picky as to complain about the selection you should just go buy your own. The manager probably actually thought he was going over board buying more expensive and fancier treats. If I were in his/her place I'd just bring you a box of those small stale powdered sugar encrusted leavings that they sell in vending machines.
Other: Chocolate Old-Fashioned
At my last company we rotated buying Breakfast for the department every Friday, whenever I bought donuts I always bought a dozen glazed and dozen variety consisting of: 3 jelly filled, 3 chocolate with sprinkles, 3 chocolate old-fashioned, and 3 curellers. I would grab one of the old-fashioned for myself and leave the rest for the staff.
Where I currently work unless I get in before the maintenance staff (~7:30AM), the only donuts left are jelly-filled and sprinkles, neither of which I like.
Strawberry Sprinkles....the best hands down. Ask Homer Simpson.
I like the white cream filled ones the best.
Anyone ever see Van Wilder? Those eclairs are the bomb.
Me, too. ~_~
I just hate the ones with any kind of powder on them. The powder comes off everywhere if you try to eat one. By the way, was there ever a Simpson's episode where Homer went on a road trip determined to find the legendary "Donut Pass" he sees signs for everywhere? There should have been if there wasn't :-).
Why has no one looked at the cost involved? I think the manager was being generous by paying for more expensive (filled) donuts. He/She could have cheaped out and got the plain ones. The staff should be more grateful. But the post did generate a lot of discussion, so it was successful in that regard.
I don't think you're ready, for this jelly.
Keep in mind that Krispy Kreme was an Obama contributor, so just flat out avoid them.
Or, buy more!
Krispy Kreme could contribute to a campaign to clone and elect Hitler and I'd still buy their delicious doughnuts. Fudge covered and glazed... soooo gooood.
Hrmm... I just thought of a new slogan: "Keep your politics out of my food, and I'll keep my food out of your politics!"
Thanks for the heads up, I shall buy a lot more now (like I need any more encouragement – says my gut)
Politics aside, worst over-hyped, overrated donuts in the world.
Perfect then given how "hope and change" has worked out...
Yes you were very rude. If someone gives you something free, you don't complain. You could have gone out and got your favorite doughnut instead. You thank them for their efforts. If I was the person I would never buy the ungrateful people food again.
I guarantee the guy buying just asked for 18 donuts and not specific kinds. The people filling the donuts put the ones they have more of to get rid of them. Meaning they had more crappy filled ones to get rid of.
"You tell us. Are we being ungrateful? Should we not dwell?"
yes you are, and no you shouldlnt.
Now I want donuts. Thanks.
Maybe the boss was sending a message, that you all all lacking a solid core?
Are you saying the boss was implying his employees are "full of it?"
Its not worth dwelling on.
However i do agree. Doughnuts stuffed with all the crap they usually inject them with is just disgusting. It wouldnt be so bad if they used about 1/10th the filling. But they shove so much in there its just a nasty goo bag.
It was an epic fail when he came in with a Dunkin Donuts box ... Krispy Kreme or go home and try again.
"I personally, was looking forward to ..."
Is that considered professional writing at CNN?
I think you all need bigger issues to tackle. Donut angst is not newsworthy.
(For the record, my preference is buttermilk or apple fritter.)
...and btw, if you put the apple fritter in the microwave for about 10 -15 seconds (varies by model), it's awesome.
Ditto on the apple fritter.
Beggars can't be choosers... if you want a certain kind of doughnut, then get it yourself. If someone brings doughnuts, they will probably get the kind they prefer, unless they work in a doughnut shop and know what most people like.
I hope he brings you 18 oatmeal raisin cookies.
Hahahahaha! Yes, I know exactly what you mean with the oatmeal raisin cookies.
What, no glazed buttermilk bar option in the voting options? Communists.
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