As journalists at CNN.com, we often have serious, hard-hitting debates in our newsroom about ethics, compelling storytelling, and our responsibility to aid democracy as the fourth estate.
Today warranted no discussion, as we came to a unanimous decision about a very important topic: Donut ratios.
Here's how it went down. An unnamed manager lost a bet to a producer earlier in the week and promised the team donuts as a reward. Wednesday came and went. Thursday, not a circular treat to be found. Finally, Friday – redemption day.
Excitement peaked as the humbled boss approached with two boxes of Dunkin' Donuts, but sadness set in as he made the reveal. There before us, 18 treats. And three quarters of them were filled with...something. Something icky, something sticky, something jelly, creamy, apple, or completely unidentifiable.
I personally, was looking forward to a blueberry cake donut. “This many filled?” I asked out loud.
“These are more like pies,” I said, and my grabbing hands receded. I was not alone in my assessment. Other colleagues began to notice the ratio and shot snarky complaints across our desks.
“This is passive-aggressive donut buying!” remarked one producer, who managed to snag a limited hole-bearing option, frosted with pink and green.
“You only did a bad job buying donuts so we’d stop asking you,” replied another lucky worker who got the only chocolate-topped option.
What is the perfect ratio of filled donuts to regular ones? About a quarter of 18 should have been filled, we decided. Four out of 18. Not 12 out of 18.
You tell us. Are we being ungrateful? Should we not dwell?
After a week of asking for our sugary reward our hopes were high. We all wanted a snack, but discovered we prefer autonomy to decide for ourselves the scale of our own indulgences. Most would have preferred a choice that included chocolate cake, glazed, or adorned with sprinkles.
Maybe next time we’ll ask for cookies instead - but God help the boss if he brings us 18 oatmeal raisins.