 Editor's note: All summer long, the Southern Foodways Alliance will be delving deep in the history, tradition, heroes and plain old deliciousness of barbecue across the United States. Dig in. Dearly beloved, we are gathered in this post to celebrate the union of love and barbecue. With the summer wedding season in full swing, love is in the air - and it is increasingly followed by the perfume of burning wood and smoking meat. Once confined to the South, more and more wedding rehearsal dinners and receptions across the country feature a barbecue-laden feast. Recently, as I was leaving his son's wedding, a Colorado barbecue man - by way of Opelousas, Louisiana - gave me a parting gift of some alligator meat to smoke. Aside from these examples, which suggest barbecue as love ex post facto, how does barbecue spark love? Ophelia Pinkard Taylor, in her 1984 oral history of the Juneteenth holiday in Texas, offered this: "Tradition has it that no maker of a good barbecue sauce will give the recipe to outsiders (those who are not family members). It has been noted that marriages are arranged so that the recipe can be passed on to a family seeking it." I leave you to decide whether such counts as a shotgun wedding. Today's installment comes courtesy of Adrian Miller, a culinary historian, certified barbecue judge and author of an upcoming book about soul food. Follow him on Twitter at @soulfoodscholar. Delve into more barbecue goodness from the Southern Foodways Alliance blog Previously - Getting squirrelly over Brunswick stew and What if the couple doesn't eat meat? |
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If invited, I would attend the wedding if it was fish fillet and bean patty barbecue. And breaded banana fritters barbecue.
I just can't stop imagining the dead cow (or pig) honking at me in my dreams (or nite mare).
We had our Oregon wedding catered by a local BBQ joint and the food was delicious! Everything was prepared elsewhere and then delivered to our reception venue. The table settings and other decorations were still classy (colorful paper lanterns, floating candles in lotus vases on the tables, etc.) and everyone seemed to enjoy the setting and the food. As the bride, I just doubled up on napkins and enjoyed the amazing meal!
@brian who said I'd prefer to have people stare at me for 4 hours and drink tea...
Since my wedding will have quite a bit of dancing (English Country, Contra, waltzing, international folk dancing, modern/pop dancing) and musicians jamming (including myself on drums/hand percussion), I think the wedding will be a bit livelier than that...
I don't mind re-purposing the dress (I do a bit of stuff involving costumes so my own dress when I get married will probably turn into a steampunk outfit), but I don't get trashing it with food stains, burning it, or doing other things that will make it impossible to re-purpose (turn it into a cocktail dress or costume), sell (because let's face it – these dresses can get expensive and if you're not planning on wearing it again you can at least get some of the money back) or donate (which is a great idea if you're in the financial position to do so, and it may let someone else have their dream dress for their day).
Come to think of it, swimming may not be quite as devastating if you can get it to a cleaner.
Can't say I've been to one yet. I don't see why not, however. I've been to backyard weddings, as well as formal affairs. I go to weddings for the PEOPLE I love and want to celebrate with.
My fiance and I will be having a bar-b-que style wedding in my backyard. We are planning on having an actual pig roasting, with horseback riding and four-wheel and dirt bike riding. Both of our families are really huge and what's the best family gathering: a bar-b-que.
Well, it depends on the wedding, but if it's all smokey then I wouldn't go because I don't want my best clothes all smoked out. However, if it's cooked and smoked else where then no problems, I'd go. Getting my suite dried clean is expensive and BBQ smoke is hard to get rid of, but I might reconsider if it's a really really good friend or family member.
It is likely that a BBQ wedding won't require you to wear your best suit or most formal gown. Just something nice.
If you are going to a wedding serving BBQ, I'm willing to wager you haven't been asked to wear your nicest duds.
I can't believe some people said, "No, and I wouldn't go to one". I'd say, 'good'. I wouldn't want you at my wedding if your only concern was the food. On the other hand, I wouldn't really care for a wedding in a restaurant, unless that's where they met, first date, etc. They should throw their own BBQ. Either way, I would go because I would want to share in the occasion and I love BBQ.
Never been to a Barbeque wedding sounds good; but I have been to a bologna wedding. Yes BOLOGNA !!!
A famly member's sister had a wedding a year befor her's. It was at a very nice Knights of Cloumbus Hall, good roast beef dinner, the next year when her sister got married; they had it at the same place, but they served, BOLOGNA, hard-rolls and pink-tomatoes lettus that was turning rusty-yellow and they had a cake, that was it!!!
I learned a good lesson that day, my one Aunt opened the card and pulled out the check and replaced it with a $5 bill.
I'll be serving all vegan at my wedding!
that sounds horrible.
If you do, include some fried veggies that meat eaters might like, for instance falafels and tempura would be great for all and hummus makes for a great snack, but call it dip because the word hummus can be a turn-off for some.
Our wedding BBQ was great. Everyone loved it and it allowed us to keep our wedding on a budget. It blows my mind how people are willing to pay $10,000, $20,000 or more on their wedding.
Food at wedding halls usually suck anyway! I am sure the food at your reception was AWESOME!!! : ))
I had a BBQ for my rehearsal dinner and it was great. I would welcome a wedding with BBQ. It would certainly beat tasteless chicken and fish which was at the last wedding I attended. Probably at a fraction of the cost, too!
I've been to some and they were nice but it would never fly where I had my wedding. Things need to change because my wedding cost about 20x what a bbq wedding does and both brides were just as happy :)
We served a traditional brisket barbecue at our wedding. It saved us money and was delish!
We did my wedding on a budget. It was too expensive to cater, so we decided to make our food for the reception ourselves. Barbecue pork was a cheap and easy way to go. Guests seemed to enjoy it.
We had one and the guests raved about it, and we're from and live in Northeast Ohio!
Apparently the minority of people who responded to this poll are not from Texas.
So the headline calls this a "saucy" trend, but the picture shows a sandwich with no sauce. Weird.
The original picture was a bride getting guests to put BBQ handprints on her dress, but too many anonymous internet trolls mocked her weight and so they switched pictures. That may be why the sandwich doesn't seem to match.
There is just something very 'piggy' about it ~ well, for a wedding dinner/reception. Maybe a BBQ party would be ok for the wedding rehearsal dinner sometimes done after the run through practice of the Big Day. While I love BBQ, (and maybe it's just me being more than a bit prissy), I think it would be awkward to host something like that ~ but I guess for Texans, it would be fine, and be in the realm of their culture going on down there. BBQ's are for Memorial day, cooking out over the spring and especially summer, the 4th, and Labor Day Weekend. I guess I prefer something with more savior-faire for a wedding reception ~ like Oysters Rockefeller, fancy o'dourves, cute little desserts, and fine wine. BBQ just ain't gonna do it. LOL.
It sounds like you just need to find a style of BBQ that suites your tastes and serve it in a formal fashion. We did BBQ at our rehearsal dinner/party the day before the wedding. Although the cooking was all done before the guests started arriving. My family is all from the north while her's is from the south. So we wanted to focus on making it as casual of a gathering as possible so that our families could more freely mingle and get to know each other. It's hard to be formal when you are gnawing on a spare rib. But ribs aren't the only kind of BBQ, you could do brisquet, pulled pork or chopped pork. If you've got people that prefer fish you can even do smoked salmon.
Snob!
I've never been to a wedding that served Oysters Rockefeller and truly fancy entrées. Of course, everyone I know is 'middle class'.
Yikes, I feel bad for the guy you finally corner into marriage. The reality is unless you are quite wealthy you cannot afford a wedding with oysters rockefeller, tiny desserts and fine wines for 300 people. Unfortunately you will demand this, and either strain your father to the limit or saddle you and your capture husband with a mountain of debt from the start of your marriage. I give you an over under of 3 years, and I'll take the under.
I am going to a wedding in a couple weeks that is $160 A PLATE. 50 grand just on food. My entire wedding cost less than a quarter of that (and yes we had barbeque at the reception), and in the end they'll be just as married as we are.
I can't believe there was a category of "no, and I would not go to one"...aren't wedding about the union of two people???
you straight people have destroyed marriage. bet you would have gone to the kardasian fiasco
Well, it depends on the wedding, but if it's all smokey then I won't go because I don't want my best clothes all smoked out. However, if it's cooked and smoked else where then no problems, I'd go. Getting my suite dried clean is expensive and BBQ smoke is hard to get rid of.
I wouldn't care if my outfit did get smoked. It will probably be the first and last time I wear it anyway. I never remember the clothes I wear, just the occassion.
I have been to a BBQ wedding and it was awesome! The bride and groom had it catered by the place where they went on their first date. The entire wedding was very personalized, and if you did not know the meaning behind something there were plenty of people around who explained why they did some of the things they did. I hope to have some similarities at my own wedding, and have even contemplated the BBQ (but for different reasons than they did, of course).
I think people nowadays spend way way way too much money on weddings...if you want BBQ, more power to you! Im sick of chicken and caesar salads! lol
Amen,Sister!!!
my husband and I in May '68 met over a pit (pork) barbecue (North Carolina style)- He was not only the cook, but chief organizer. Come Nov '68 we were married (40 yrs). As far as I am concerned you can have pork barbecue any time, any where!
I would imagine in Texas...the bride chases down the pig..hog ties it, slits it's throat and butchers it on the spot.
We have nothing against Pork in Texas, but Beef still rules the day.
BBQ whole turkey is also great, if you want lighter meat.
Also, never forget that the wood makes a big difference. Up north it should be hickory at a minimum. In Texas, we have pecan and post oak, plus mesquite for grilling.
We are also between Mexico and Cajun country. Add all the immigrants here from around the world, and it's easy to see how the food has gotten so good down here.
I've had good and bad. The good was a down home country wedding with a whole hog and lot's of home made fixins. The bad was a recent catered affair where the cook's definition of BBQ was to cook some meat and put sauce on it. Very lackluster and disappointing. BBQ at it's best can be some of the best food you'll ever eat. The bad stuff makes you hanker for a McRib.
LOL...about an hour ago they had a picture of a fat girl with BBQ sauce all over her dress....now it's a sandwich.
I guess too many trailer trash heffer comments..?
Seems you can't let it go...
I have catered several weddings and served BBQ. I also do Bar Mitzvahs.
Could you do a Muslim wedding with a hog roast?
Or a hog wedding with a Muslim roast?
As long as it is a kosher pig.
I don't mind the idea of barbecue at a wedding, but I am disappointed by the way our culture seems to be making things more and more casual. Give it a few years and everyone will wear sweats everywhere, weight 300lbs and only bathe on special occasions.
A few years????
You can't walk down the street today without seeing someone in their pajama pants and fuzzy slippers.
WalMart is famous for that.
True!
Casual (and inexpensive) weddings can be great fun for everyone, with less pressure than a formal wedding, and still be extremely meaningful and memorable. On the other hand... if you are asking folks to dress up for your wedding, you better not be serving BBQ... that is just incredibly selfish. The bride and groom might not be planning on wearing the clothes from that day again (or most of the bridal party for that matter in most cases) but the guests are.. and BBQ is just asking for excessively expensive cleaning bills or the potential to ruin delicate fabrics.
We had one, and we all wore our wedding stuff to the reception. BBQ doesn't have to be messy. And a lot of expensive ("nice") wedding are really expensive. Ours was nice (everyone was dressed very nicely) and we have amazing food and didn't pay $100/head for a mediocre chicken breast and cruddy mashed potatoes.
That's why in Texas, the sauce is on the side, as it is optional.
You will not get any more or less messy than any other type of food – I use a fork to eat it with, not my hands.
Seriously, we also wear suits and tuxes while eating BBQ at receptions – it is not a problem.
If some of our biggest worries are in regards to what people wear, then I pray for a day that superficiality isn't the prized mentality.
You're right. Hooray for fat slobs! Trophies for everyone!
We had a roast pig, yes, whole pig complete with apple, at our wedding reception. It was the best time ever and while we had made arrangements for the leftover food to go to shelters, there was nothing left to give them. Amazinly, neither my husband nor I managed to get bbq sauce on ourselves during the wedding. I'd do it again but I'm not planning on getting married again!
Actually, I don't care if you got any BBQ sauce on your clothes.. you are the ones who chose what kind of reception you were going to be having. The question really is, unless you made it absolutely clear that casual clothes were expected wear at the reception, did any of your guests get BBQ sauce on their clothes and did you pick up the cleaning bill or replace the clothes if they weren't cleanable?
Uh, we solved that problem in Texas about 100 years ago – as we put the sauce on the side (if there is sauce at all).
We use silverware to eat it with.
You can eat it in a tux or dress without any problems.
Well, we can down here anyway...
Because normal wedding food is so tasty? Not. Plenty of families have spent thousands of dollars to serve bland chicken, tough meat and soggy vegetables. BBQ is a welcomed option and can certainly be done formally without splattering everyone with BBQ sauce. Ultimately, its not about the food. It's about the new couple, their friends and family celebrating together.
I've been to BBQ receptions in Texas, North Carolina and Alabama. They were all very different experiences, but they were all great fun. I've been to my fair share of Champagne receptions, as well. If I had to pick one type over the other, I'd say the less formal receptions were more memorable and authentic. Beer and BBQ beats Pinot Grigio and broiled chicken any day.
Maybe I'm old fashioned but I've always thought of a wedding as a formal once in a lifetime (hopefully) occassion. Its the one day when every bride is a true princess and every groom is a prince. Frankly I couldn't quite see Will and Kate chawin' on ribs at their reception. Now .... if we're talking about the rehearsal dinner – that's an entirely different thing. I'd say anything goes for the rehearsal dinner. But hey ... that's just me. If you want to have you're wedding at the local rib shack – more power to ya.
Sometimes being a prince and a princess isn't all it's cracked up to be. Some of us just want to have fun and celebrate the union, not wear stuffy clothes we don't like and make everyone else cater to us for a day. My wife and I wanted to celebrate our union WITH everyone else, not ABOVE everyone else.
if by being a "prince and princess" you mean getting anything you want and having it your way...then we used our royal powers to demand no one treat us like a "prince" or a "princess."
Or you can cut the meat off the bone before you serve it to the guests. Seriously? Chewing on a bone? Is that how you eat BBQ? Like an animal?
If it's ribs or wings, you eat it off the bones. Like a person. Anyhow at a wedding reception I think I'd minimize the mess potential and probably not serve BBQ in those forms.
My brother and sister-in-law had barbeque at their wedding reception last year (in Baltimore), and it was amazing! It came from one of their favorite places, and it fit them and the wedding perfectly. I'm not getting married for awhile, but there's a good chance that I'll do the same thing when I do.
what passes for GREAT BBQ in one place, is only so so to others.... BBQ is a personal thing... Not something I would expect everyone to like cooked "MY" way... For example, I love BBQ brisket, but LOATHE the way it is cooked in Texas... UGH, horrible... Some people liked grilled meat, others smoked. I'm not fond of smoked meat at all... That being said, I think BBQ at a reception is a bad idea.
You love BBQ brisket but loathe the way it is cooked in Texas and don't like smoked meats? What are you eating? It is not BBQ brisket. BBQ brisket is Texas till the cows come home and it is slow cooked by way of smoke and fire.
I'm not sure I can trust someone that doesn't like BBQ. (Even vegetarians can like veggies grilled over real wood.)
I feel bad for all the suckers that spend over $10,000 on a wedding. What a complete waste of money. In this economy, no one cares about "tradition" anymore. We spent under $2,000 including the rings. We made our food (BBQ and Southwestern food) and didn't force anyone to dress up. Everyone had lots of fun and we don't have a huge debt to pay off. So many stupid young kids spending all that money have no idea how long it will take to pay off.
Dave, your a smart man. (ever think of running for president, no joke)
Thats whatI am screaming! Kudos to you! I say the more you spend on the wedding the quicker the divorce! Have fun,
Is it any wonder we're so fat?
Everything in moderation. Hopefully the couple isn't getting married every weekend.
Yeah, right. America: land of moderation and critical thinking.
Does being that cynical make you happy?
Sorry to burst your bubble, Pollyanna, but that's reality. Look up obesity statistics then read any comment section on any website on the internet and pay attention to the level of discourse. America has chosen to become fat and stupid.
And you've chosen to run around wanking about it on articles about wedding trends? Sad.
I'm no dietetian, but I think it's related to over-eating and lack of exercise. Wonder no more!
Went to a BBQ reception just this past weekend, for one of my best friends! It was an absolutely amazing time. Everyone had a blast!
I was recently musician at a wedding where not only did they serve BBQ at the reception, I found out the bride had picked out her own hog for the occasion.
Beats the heck out of cucumber sandwiches and mixed nuts!
I went to an outdoor wedding with a deep fried turkey... as the bride was walking down the aisle the turkey caught fire and some uncles had to "address" the matter. I was surprised she didnt start crying and had a sense of humor about it. Luckily there was other food.
The only thing I wonder about is the permeating smell. A bride wants to feel pretty on her wedding day. She'll usually be wearing a special dress, having carefully done her hair and makeup. All of that doesn't fit with BBQ to me.
She will not be working the pit. And unlike grilled items, BBQ usually can be made in advance.
Trust me, when you eat chicken breast with mushrooms in a white wine reduction at the country club reception, it isn't freshly made either. They simply cannot make food to order when 200 people need to eat at the same time.
The BBQ pit is usually offsite anyway (no smoke) as it is normally catered by local BBQ joints, and cooked on their regular pits.
Best bar-b-q I ever had was the pulled pork with hot (not sweet) bar-b-q sauce at Bill's Bar-B-Q in Richmond, VA. If I could only get that on the west coast...
Good place in Glendale, CA called Pecos Bills. Great pit bbq!
/yawn
such great things to read on the interwebz...hopefully I will find them soon
This is the result of 'too much news' in our country.
I had a BBQ wedding reception 8 years before it was "the thing to do". In a back yard. Not hillbilly-redneck style, but civilized, relaxed, intimate and wonderful! And I'm a vegetarian to boot!
I had one for my wedding in 1999. Way before it was the "In Thing" also. It was fantastic. The thing lasted all day and everyone had a blast. We still continue to have those all day events even without the need of a wedding to be had.
In my culture, BBQ was always the most common wedding reception dish. (Going back to before 1900).
So in order to be an early adopter here, you would have had to been married and had BBQ at the reception prior to radio.
This article is simply someone who lived far from good BBQ thinking they have found something new because they were unaware of it (similar to people just discovering Tex-Mex).
ajawebster – you made a good choice. BBQ is usually associated with a more relaxed setting. As for Vegetarian, grilled corn and squash are my favorites. Also, the veggieburgers are good grilled. The only thing I can think of veggie wise that is actually "BBQ"ed (indirect heat) would be potatoes. You should check out dutch ovens – there are tons of vegitarian things you can cook in them on a fire. It gets some of the smoky flavor into the food.
Good point. Weddings have been serving BBQ for decades now... without dousing the bride in sauce. Where has the author been?
I had a barbeque reception a year ago! Some of my friends and family gave me a hard time about it, but the way I saw it was that it was my husband's and my special day and if we wanted fried pickled eggs to be served... well, that's what we would be having. Everyone loved the dinner and there was plenty to go around. A family friend catered so it really helped with the costs, too. Afterwards, my parents packaged the leftovers with an air compressing machine and they were great to pull out during the following months.
It's their wedding day.. they can have whatever food they want. If you don't want it at your's, then don't. Simple as that.
No matter how you dress em up weddings are boring, pretentious events made for women to gossip and trash the decor and other women.
Sybaris, did you get stood up for a planned wedding or something? Why so bitter? Boring they can be, but weddings aren't all that bad.
There were under 20 people at my wedding and we all had a wonderful time. Not sure exactly how that fits into your "boring, pretentious, gossip" generalization...but perhaps if you were not so negative and bitter, you might also get married one day.......
haha yes! :)
We had a traditional wedding and sit down dinner at a destination for about 18 people. We went home and had a BBQ catered for about 200 people to celebrate our wedding and it was so much fun! The food was great and people raved about it for years afterwards. IT was so low key and casual.
We did a similar thing for the rehearsal. The families had never met, so we reserved the patio at a wine bar the night before and had a really nice meal and good wine from about 6-8. Then we drove to a "hip" nearby bowling alley where we had a reception party for all the other guests. So a small, intimate dinner followed by bigger party. It was a lot of fun (and quite a surprise to the guests the next night when we suddenly stopped the music at the actual reception to hand out surprise joke bowling trophies for things like best form and best score achieved while holding a beer in the other hand).
I had one of these myself just a few months ago because I feel weddings should be family events, and I felt that catering out was too stuffy. It was a huge hit and the BBQ was delicious. It has nothing to do with being red neck or trailer trash (as neither my husband nor myself are either), but more to do with being comfortable in a relaxing environment with family and good friends.
Wedding fads are dumb. Get over yourselves. I can't stand when people shove their wedding photo's in my face, or show me a video of some stupid dance idea they got off the internet. BORING!
If you really think other people have fun, casual, laid back weddings just to someday "shove the photos in your face," then you are a sad, sad person.
Reread his post Trumpy... He isnt saying laid back and casual is dumb, he is saying that the fad weddings with people dancing down the aisle to turn it into a viral video OR the showing of those viral videos is boring and dumb. Spot On... they are boring and dumb.
Read the post he's replying to. It mentions neither "people dancing down the aisle" nor "viral videos." He appeared to be equating a laid back wedding with a fad one. Take it up with him.
Paul, I couldnt agree more.... dont let trumpy get you down... you are spot on with how boring, lame or vain people are about trying to get noticed. If someone is planning a wedding it should be for the purpose of expressing their love to one other person. Trying to get noticed by doing some hokey dance or turning into the hottest you tube video is missing the point.
That being said, what you serve as food at your wedding should be personal preference. If your guests dont like BBQ and you do... then those guests who would judge your menu probably arent worth inviting.
Exactly. We wanted our wedding to be fun, not stuffy. To encourage people to wear dancing shoes not overly formal wear. We bought REALLY tasty food, but we didn't serve it in the "normal" china plate, waiter-catered way. We had a nice ceremony and then one heck of a fun party to CELEBRATE the marriage. Other people can do what they want, but respectful casual was the way to go for us.
And five years later I still get constant compliments on how much fun our wedding was (especially after people go to someone else's over-produced, too formal wedding and come back to say "I went to a wedding last weekend that was so formal! Man, you guys' wedding was so much more fun").
The food at my wedding was from Dinosaur BBQ in western NY. It was delicious, much better than most food I've had at other weddings, and surprisingly affordable. Definitely recommend it.
Bzzt....sorry. There is no good BBQ in NY. Thanks for playing.
Sorry about the dearth of good smoked meat in New England!
We also had a brewer friend handcraft the beer for our wedding (figured by your name you might relate). That was as big a hit as the food. All night people kept asking what brand of beer it was because it was so good.
Did the same for my rehersal dinner. Imagine the disappointment when I hadn't brewed enough to cover the wedding reception as well. I heard about it plenty.
One thing New England does not lack: f-ing good beer.
I'm with Dan. On a tour of New York, the guide thought it would be a real treat to take us Texas kids to a BBQ place. It was the most offensive place over ;-) All the food was brought out in buckets and I could have swam in my tea glass.
NY has some of the ebst BBQ in the country. Blue Smoke, Dinasour, Country Hill. You dont know what your talking about
Thanks for playing.
This is nothing new... We had a BBQ reception and pool party in 1983! I am 6 figures away from trailer trash today. At the time we were students and simply didn't have the funds for a country club wedding/reception. My aunt was kind enough to open her home to us. A simple wedding in their garden followed by a great party.
My daughter has decided to get married in a county park with grill stations. We could pay for much more. However, they asked that we put the money aside for a down payment on a home when the time comes. She's a smart LADY!
Who is anyone to say that a BBQ is any more a drunken event then a fancy $100K country club reception with an open bar.
BTW, for me, the dress burning happened the day I recieved divorce papers! That was fun!
... my wife and i had ~35 people at our wedding, no bridesmaids/groomsmen, and I walked her 'down the aisle' which was the outside deck/patio my father-in-law and myself built for the event. I wore a white button down shirt, no tie, khakis, my bride's dresses for the day were all 2nd hand. We picked up the food ourselves, set up the beer/liquor ourselves, and then asked that any and all money that would've been spent on a 'lavish wedding' go towards our honeymoon/down payment on house.
Your daughter is smart. Self-made people make wise decisions that pay off in the long run ... the American dream ain't dead for a lot of us. The 'big wedding' thing is sooooooo overblown and played, has absolutely ZERO to do with the bride/groom, and everything to do with draining one's father's bank account, putting on 'appearances'. Barf. Get real folks. Having a BBQ at the wedding is barely 'risky' in the least, it is about as American as apple pie and baseball.
We opted for red velvet cupcakes with sour cream icing, no wedding cake ... all the food was down home finger food. 'Traditional weddings' are for blowhards and dip___s. Not our scene in the least.
You gotta love the media. They pickup in a weird, obscure trend and they make it sound like EVERYONE is onboard and doing it. There is nothing wrong with having your wedding in a backyard, in a church, in a hotel, at city hall or a BBQ place. What are the actual statistics on BBQ weddings? Is it a trend or are you just filling up a dull newsday with a fluff piece?
I don't know if it is a "trend," but in Texas it most certainly is common enough not to be viewed as unusual in any way. Has been for a while. Maybe not the wedding itself, but the receptions. Been to many a good reception at a BBQ place around the state.
I got married two years ago & for our reception my hubby and I worked together and decided on a nice reception hall. We served our family and friends a wonderful meal of pulled pork BBQ sandwiches (southern style), potato salad & baked beans. Our beverages was tea, and lemonade, along with coffee (for those who wanted it with their cake) Our entertainment was a bluegrass band. It was a wonderful day & a HUGE hit with our family and friends (250-275 of them).
That's all fine and good but at least you didn't WEAR the food on your dress! What's wrong with people???
In Texas, BBQ is the most common dish served at weddings. Of the 20 or so I have been to, probably 5-6 didn't serve BBQ.
So I don't understand this article. This is something going back since before WW2 in Texas.
No one puts sauce on their wedding dress. (BBQ frequently has no sauce here).
As for having the reception at the BBQ joint, that only works for small weddings. Usually the BBQ joint caters an event at a hall or other large facility. And even at country clubs, BBQ is frequently the dish served.
It like when people in the US "discovered" Tex-Mex food. They think it's new, but we are just shocked down here about how long it takes for the rest of the country to catch on.
Just because you have BBQ at your wedding doesn't mean you have to wear it. I have been to multiple weddings with BBQ served and it never looked like that picture. Let's also add, there are multiple kinds of BBQ and not all are heavy tomato based sauces. My sister is in the process of planning her wedding. Just today we discussed having a hog roast. Her wedding is going to be outside, under a tent, semi traditional. The reception will be a hog roast. People will have options of sauces. At no point will her dress look like that. I'd put money on that.
My wedding was also semi-formal in our home church with our reception at a nice reception hall (thank goodness, because there was intermitant rain that day in between the beautiful sunshine). Anyway, I wore a traditional dress & my bridesmaids were tradition as well (I let them pick their own dresses), and the guys wore black suits as opposed to tuxes. The BBQ reception went well with our wedding & I guarantee you that neither my hubby, myself, or any of our guests looked like that at the end of the day.
The picture wasw for added effect. It has nothing to do with a wedding that BBQ is the meal instead of traditional over-priced dinners
My husband and I had our wedding reception at a BBQ restaurant. We reserved the "bar section" and had music, pool tables, dancing and fantastic food in a buffet setup. We got wonderful comments from all of our guests for weeks on end and it was great having a celebration of our marriage that focused on us and the people we were with, and not getting caught up in the high cost and pomp & circumstance of a traditional wedding. People will always remember our reception because of its uniqueness. There was nothing about it that was like "going to a bar and getting drunk on the weekend". To each his own. People should celebrate how they want and with what fits their lifestyle. A reception is meant to celebrate the occasion. White dresses, table cloths, candles, flowers, etc., aren't for everyone and that doesn't make anyone who chooses this option to be trailer trash.
I think some of you should read the article again. Maybe a few more times to be certain. This article had nothing to say except for many weddings now involve barbeque as the rehearsal dinner meal or the reception meal. Not only is this better than having someone cater the meal, but is a much cheaper alternative.
I am hosting a wedding this weekend for a friend of ours. They wanted a country wedding and we are also doing the food for them. We are doing barbeque chicken and grilled leg quaters for the meat. Cost? For 75 people, we are doing for well under $200. The entire meal will be under $800.
"Some couples go whole hog for efficiency by holding their ceremony and reception at a barbecue restaurant. "
Perhaps you should take your own advice and read the article again.
It has nothing to do with putting BBQ on one's self!! If they went to Red Lobster or Sizzler would that make you more happy? Would that be a little more uppercrust? If you read some of the posts people are talking about drunkeness and people wearing BBQ. Those are the people I am talking about.
Going to a BBQ place for the reception is not that much different than eating at a reception hall.
@Drew – you are so right! Our whole wedding cost $1,500 and that included food, entertainment and open bar.
If it's not your wedding, why should you care how people choose to tie the knot? It's their special day, not yours. I think it's kind of white trash, but it's not my business to tell other people how to celebrate their union. To each their own.
Weddings are cultural – and strenghtened by family value and tradition. Alas, time for a new fiddler on this roof.
My mom and her redneck husband decided to butcher a cow and bbq it for their wedding. I had to help them by going to the butcher and bringing back a billion packages that made up the dead cow. I wouldn't eat it, but those who did said it wasn't good meat, as the cow was too old to be slaughtered for decent food. To top it off they lost the remainder of the meat due to a week long power outage caused by forest fires. The poor cow totally died for nothing.
I am totally mooooved by this story. But sadly, it was probably a good idea if you would have choosen those 10 chickens pooping around the caged fence while looking for worms. Yours truly Dee Duck.
That's so sad.
I would go to a bbq wedding but 1 – wear a t-shirt tuxedo. 2 short pants, 3 trucker hat and 4- kiss the bridge with bbq all over my lips. 5 Dance with the bridge for a 20 biller and than after all that's been said and done – head on to the next bbq wedding. Yours truly bbq wedding crasher.
I've not been to an actual wedding at a BBQ place, but I am in Texas and have been to several receptions at BBQ places...eating darn good food and drinking Shiner into the night with the smell of magnolias and honeysuckle and smoking brisket in the air, dancing to live music under outdoor string lights as the fireflies drift through. Good times.
For our own wedding, we did it as a nice venue (late 1800's house) but we opted for local food instead of the traditional "beef, chicken, or fish" catering options. 90% of our guests were from out of state and so we wanted to show them some of the things we loved about where we live while they were down and we did a buffet with our favorite local pizza, BBQ, tacos, etc. (all locally-owned, really good, authentic restaurants, not pizza hut and taco bell). Something for everyone and the guests tore it apart. Two had so much fun they extended their trip to see more of the area and then moved here.
People's weddings are personal and they can do it however they want, but we loved a more casual, personal feel to ours (we also did things like send reply cards with the invites including spaces for a song each guest thought should be played at every wedding reception and then included them in the music and asked for quotes and advice for marriage and hung the reply cards around the room for everyone to read as they milled about during a cocktail service between ceremony and reception party). And I know our guests all left happy.
I am having a wedding where almost all the food is coming off the grill. It's cheaper, healthier, fresher, and a bit casual. No ribs or overly sauced mess but grilled chicken, steak, and veggies all produced locally.
Most of the plated dinner receptions provide cold, dried-out meats, over-cooked vegetables, pasty starches, and watery salads. If that's classy, I'll take trashy.
now all ya gotta do is find someone to marry ya
Sounds like a good idea Becky and best of luck to you and your groom :)
Thanks Chris! Wedding's this summer- we need all the luck we can get!! :)
Thats a first to each her own
It is simply a product of the times we live in. LOOK at MEEE....I'm going to propose with a "flash mob", I'm going to dance down the aisle, I'm going to sing down the aisle, I'm going to burn my dress, I'm going to post it on FaceTube so EVERYONE can see how cool and trendy I am...pretty pitiful. LOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEEE! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! I am a LOT COOOOOLER than that bride!!!!!
Why is it pitiful to want one's wedding experience to be unique? Why does everyone have to follow the same trite, boring formula? Weddings should be celebratory, not stuffy. If a couple wants a 200-guest wedding complete with church and doves flying out of cages, fine. If they don't, where's the harm?
Amen. Make your wedding your own. Make it a celebration of the personalities and hopes and dreams of the people getting married. Not everyone wants traditional homogenous services.
Mike, the comment doesnt say it is bad to make a wedding unique... it is suggesting that the need for attention and the vanity involved to force that "clever" idea out onto the web to get noticed is pathetic. Your response doesnt address the point.
I happen to agree that it cheapens the idea and concept of the wedding to try to get noticed... please note the distinction. If you want to have an underwater nude wedding that is your business and not cheapened... if you want to have an underwater nude wedding with the hopes of getting on you tube or being interviewed by hoda and kathy lee you are pathetic.
IT should be a day of "Look at me"! That's what every bride wants! There is nothing wrong with that! Tradition is way over rated. The way I see it tradition doesn't make a better marriage, being comfortable with who you are and knowing what you and your mate enjoy does. What better place to start than the very first day!
We ruffled some feathers by flying in the face of tradition, but in the end everyone was happier for it.
One example that still sticks with me was the old "who pays for what" traditions–you know, the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner and the bride's for the wedding, but not the minister who the groom's parents pay for and blah blah blah (lots of old Southern tradition). So when parents and grandparents started calling telling us what they were willing to spend and where we just said "we're paying for everything. If you want to donate funds to help, that's great. It isn't expected of anyone, and any funds we do get will all go into one account to pay for everything."
There was some resistance because some of the older generations really wanted to pay for a traditional thing (or, in one case, pay for a thing just to be able to wield control over that thing–like where it would take place). We felt a little bad denying them that tradition for their sakes, but it was our wedding and we've been to too many where such things caused friction (I can't count the times I've heard things like "we paid for steak and lobster and they're only springing for roast beef?") Those weddings are no fun and we didn't want the merger of our families to start like that.
In the end, most family just gave what they could (we never told anyone what anyone else gave) and my wife and I hired a coordinator and set everything up ourselves. When the time came, it took a little bit, but those old guarders REALLY relaxed and had fun. Afterward my mom came up and told me that she hasn't had that much fun at a wedding in 30 years and a big part of it was, after several previous sibling weddings, she got to just come and have fun and not worry about expenses or schedule or who forgot to pay this or do that. She'd forgotten what a wedding without "responsibility" was like!
That turned out to be the general sentiment we got from all the older crowd after all was said and done–that it was one of the first "responsibility free" weddings they'd been to in a while and so they had a blast!
Serving BBQ at a wedding is something that has been going on for decades. It can be served just as formally as any other wedding feast. It's not a fad.
A BBQ wedding need not include drunkness and the wearing of BBQ sauce by the bride. It need only include deliciousness.
My wife and I had BBQ catered for our wedding a few years back. Best wedding I've ever been to, and not just because it was mine! ... though maybe the waterguns we gave out as favors had something to do with that.
Stupid,in an effort to make their wedding day "all about them" as everyone tells these new brides,they have lost the opportunity to act like a lady and instead behave as if it were any old weekend barbie.Their memories of this day will blend into every drunk weekend they ever spent.Why? And why does she have to look so messy despite the dress? Wash your hair!!!!
I would go a BBQ wedding reception. But, since I am a vegetarian, I would eat prior to going.
JUST PLAIN CRAZY
Two words: Trailer Trash
Two words... Grow up!
Two words – Kathy's right!
Three words: eat my shorts.
The only thing missing is the Cammo tux and mullet......
I agree trailer trailer trailer
Your wedding should be special-simple or fancy-it should be beautiful.
Your wedding should be what YOU want it to be, not what other people prescribe for you based on THEIR preferences or traditions.
No trashier than, say, judging brides on their wedding days and how they want their weddings to be...
totally agree!
two words for kathy: old maid?
I used to have a catering business for "On Site" BBQs. We did a few weddings and they were a lot of fun.
Yeah. Because gay people getting married is a danger to the sanctity of marriage. Straight people who turn what is supposed to be the beginning of a lifetime sacred commitment into a reason to try to have the dumbest possible party aren't hurting marriage at all.
angry much? It's ok though. You're heart attack is somewhere close by
This is a food blog. Please let's not get all political.
I hope you make this comment on all the food blogs. Some people have lost their damned minds and they need a reminder. I might start leaving such a comment as well!
Woah... what on earth does a BBQ have to do with the sanctity of marriage?
Watermelons in BBQ sauce, yummy.
Air has a point. This may be a food blog, but his response is relevant. Stories like this make me wonder what exactly those opposed to gay marriage are trying to protect. This is certainly not the sanctimonious act I was led to believe it was.
I don't think that word means what you think it means.
sanc·ti·mo·ni·ous (sngkt-mn-s)
adj.
Feigning piety or righteousness
Ok, I think, as a bride, I would have *killed* anyone who did that to my dress... even if it was the new hubby!!! (unless it was cotton that I could go and bleach two seconds after the photo was taken)
I don't see the big deal, it will never be worn again after that day. Would be fun to look back at it and remember...
Yes. After the divorce.
There's a trend of "trashing" wedding dresses that is very popular now. Not just BBQ sauce handprints, but cutting them, burning them, swimming in them, etc. Then taking one last series of pictures in the destroyed dress. It's what all the cool kids are doing these days.
Sounds like an emerging trend among people with more money than brains.
Please explain to me how you need extra money to ruin a wedding dress. Or are you talking about the ketchup and mustard that was wasted? Cost of a pair of scissors?
To each his own. Besides, it does make for some pretty awesome photos:
http://stylesizzle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/trash-the-dress-wedding-trend.jpg
http://stylesizzle.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/rock-the-frock-wedding-trends.jpg
http://a.abcnews.com/images/GMA/abc_gma_gownds_070616_ssh.jpg
http://littlewillow.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/trash9.jpg
http://www.socalpixels.com/images/trash-the-dress-wedding-photography-los-angeles.jpg
http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID12912/images/trash_dress_3.jpg
Donate it. You'll be doing a nice thing, and can get a tax writeoff. You will also be making someone else happy. That's a valuable this these days.
True. You can donate it or give it to another family member to wear. My sister and I wanted to wear the same wedding dress. It didn't happen because it was damaged in a flood. But we both loved the idea. Those things are expensive!
You sound like a lot of fun. Maybe you and all your guest could just sit and stare at your dress for 4 hours while sipping tea.
I don't mind re-purposing the dress (I do a bit of stuff involving costumes so my own dress when I get married will probably turn into a steampunk outfit), but I don't get trashing it with food stains, burning it, or doing other things that will make it impossible to re-purpose (turn it into a cocktail dress or costume), sell (because let's face it – these dresses can get expensive and if you're not planning on wearing it again you can at least get some of the money back) or donate (which is a great idea if you're in the financial position to do so, and it may let someone else have their dream dress for their day).
Come to think of it, swimming may not be quite as devastating if you can get it to a cleaner.
: )
:P