 A person might think that a job as a food editor entails downing metric tons of beluga caviar and silver-plated Big Gulps of vintage Krug Champagne at lunch (Double Big Gulp at dinner) seven days a week. That person would be wrong - for the most part. While the vast majority of my meals are taken while huddled over a plastic clamshell of CNN cafeteria salad bar scraps, I’m occasionally let out of my crate and allowed to sup amongst the humans. And yeah - sometimes it gets fancy. For some reason, this usually necessitates the presence of archaic silverware. It’s not that I don’t know what it’s for (getting the last of the delicious sauce from your plate) – rather that I can never figure out why this task warrants a specialized implement or quite manage to deploy said implement gracefully. I’m not alone in this. I escaped from my cage earlier this week to partake in a lovely lunch at the sixth best restaurant in the world (there’s an official list and everything) for a lunch honoring its chef, his recent accolades and his contribution to the world of dining. You bet your sweet duck press that there were special utensils involved. Passed hors d'oeuvres were in my wheelhouse: exquisite bites crafted specially to be dispatched from hand to soul in a single bite. First course: easy peasy mother-of-pearl caviar spoon (for the record, metal is verboten because it taints the delicate flavor of the eggs). Scoop, swoon, repeat. Second course, it arrived: fork, knife and my enemy, the sauce spoon. I turned to my neighbor - the co-owner of the restaurant with Most Outstanding Chef in America (as calculated by a different group of people who rank these sorts of things), and opened my big, fat mouth. "Do you use these at your restaurant? I mean, I mostly think of them as a harbinger of fanciness, but...why?" He smiled and started to laugh, but God bless him, not at me. " I actually had a contest with my staff a few years ago," he said, "and I held up one of these and offered a prize to whoever could figure out why restaurants use these. They came back with something like twelve different answers and we never did figure out which one was right." The rest of Table One joined in - the aforementioned Outstanding Chef, a few food writers, an executive for a prominent restaurant group - and not a single one of us could with any certainty pin down the origin, purpose of the design's distinctive notch or necessity for an extra utensil when a fork, spoon or piece of bread would do just fine. Most seemed unsure how to actually deploy it. So we did the 21st century thing and tweeted questions across the room to the people who'd seem most likely to know. Mitchell Davis of the James Beard Foundation answered our cry (and Chef Eric Ripert retweeted with gusto). "Appears the cuillère à sauce individuelle was invented at Laserre in Paris in 1950 for...sauce...the notch said to be to drain excess fat, but I don't believe that. Popularized w/la nouvelle cuisine...All a plot to reduce bread consumption (while increasing flatware consumption), which I am opposed to." Mystery (somewhat) solved, I surveyed the table - plates ravaged, very slight stains remaining. Not a one of my fellow professional-level eaters had employed the services of the vaunted spoon, leaned over to lick the china or gone without sufficient sauce. I bring all this up because when I was a less confident diner, I'd occasionally let my own intimidation and food know-it-alls get in the way of my enjoyment - perhaps fretting and sliding the sauce spoon around on the plate a little so no one would think I was rube enough not to know how to use it. I'm sure that says an awful lot about me (at least back then), but also about a breed of eater that particularly vexes me: the food bully. I don't mean food scolds who tell us that whatever we're eating is not sufficiently sustainalocaganivore or that we should be consuming fewer carbs. I'm talking about the spouters of, "Well, you haven't really had [insert dish] until you've have it hand-crafted by a grandmother down a dingy alley in [insert country] - but only on the third Friday in September when the [insert ingredient] is in peak season," the folks tricking their unwilling friends to eat casu marzu (that'd be maggot cheese), and the plain old jerks who'd make a fellow diner feel small for not knowing how to use a cuillère à sauce individuelle or incorrectly pronouncing "quinoa."* Don't know why they do it and don't much care. When there's good food sitting right there, is it less delicious because you used the wrong spoon or someone at the table had a more "authentic" version elsewhere? If the people with whom you are eating are not approaching food with a generosity of spirit, willingness to share or respect your boundaries, they do not deserve the pleasure of your dining companionship. And if they've got a problem with that, refer them to Table One. We're armed with squeaky clean sauce spoons, and we (mostly) know how to use 'em. * KEEN-wah Previously - Of romantic meals, fibbers and fish knives |
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I detest snobs of any kind. The intention behind snobbery is unkind. Dining together should be a joyful pursuit, and if the company or the host is prickly it ruins my appetite.
Here's the thing...truly confident and gracious people do not correct others or remark upon the errors or goofs of those in their company. Ever. If someone makes a rude comment about, rolls his eyes at, or corrects something you say or - spare me - your utensil use, that person is to be disregarded entirely because he is a fo ol. The best reaction to that kind of behavior is a blank stare and an awkward pause. Then turn to another diner and engage Ina lively, happy conversation.
On mopping up sauces - I usually break off a small, bite-size piece of bread, place it on my plate and use my fork to push the bread sponge around. It's tidy, efficient, and polite...so say I.
I detest snobs of any kind. The intention behind snobbery is unkind. Dining together should be a joyful pursuit, and if the company or the host is prickly it ruins my appetite.
Here's the thing...truly confident and gracious people do not correct others or remark upon the errors or goofs of those in their company. Ever. If someone makes a rude comment about, rolls his eyes at, or corrects something you say or - spare me - your utensil use, that person is to be disregarded entirely because he is a fool. The best reaction to that kind of behavior is a blank stare and an awkward pause. Then turn to another diner and engage Ina lively, happy conversation.
On mopping up sauces - I usually break off a small, bite-size piece of bread, place it on my plate and use my fork to push the bread sponge around. It's tidy, efficient, and polite...so say I.
Growing up, every once in a while we'd pull out all the silver and do what amounted to formal Victorian style settings just so we kids would know how to use anything we'd ever be likely to run across. I think it was also an excuse to let her have us polish the silver for her. I suppose there are restaurants that are pretentious enough to put out everything at once , but even the best I've been to tend to bring the needed silverware with each course.
Cut back on the sarcasm. It'll be a better read. Clever as you (whoever you are) may be, too much of anything gets old pretty fast.
I appreciate learning from people who know more about something than I do and that includes food..but when there is an animosity for how or what others choose to eat (a repugnance) that may not be said outright but is implied added to a holier than thou attitude, it makes one feel very uneasy and, yes, bad about their own choices. I got to the point where I did not want to eat at all around some people because they made me so uncomfortable and found myself going to the other extreme..eating candy and things with people who were accepting..not good!
I love to eat and try new things (who doesn't?) but I despise the "foodie" label. Everyone eats... the fact that some think eating and the appreciation of good food is some illustrious art form worthy of a title, is somewhat ridiculous. Good food can be found in so many places, from five-star French restaurants to little backwoods roadside diners. It's all a matter of one's personal preference. As for utensils, who cares. Do what works for you. (It never hurts to be mindful of your surroundings though... I'd say making an effort to respect your hosts/dining companions is a good idea in any situation. However anyone belittling a person for using the "wrong" fork is a first class sack of you-know-what.)
Spoons in the nose, forks in the ear, knives in the rear... That's all you need to know.
They don't dare pull that around me...I'm a chef. (and also don't have a clue about the sauce spoon individuelle)
I will drink soup from the bowl at a Japanese restaurant. They do. Sushi is also eaten with fingers. Being a native Southerner I found it very funny to see yankees in New York eating fried chicken with a knife and fork. That is finger food y'all. Just enjoy your food and enjoy life!
I have never seen that. It would be too funny. Haha, New Yorkers – oh, they're so proper! **said in a really gay voice while tossing hand motion gay as well**
And New Yorkers laugh at tourists who cannot eat a piece of thin crust pizza with their hands.
http://forums.egullet.org/index.php/topic/74665-silverware-for-the-fish-course/ is a link to a great discussion about sauce spoons and other cutlery. I particularly like the comments re: the marrow forks, which made me wax reminiscent.
And, how uncomfortable would it be to drink a good brandy from.....a coffee cup?
I'm more of a beer snob.
I'm the kind that does know why different beer glasses are shaped differently, and serve the right glass with the right beer, but I only explain it to others when asked. .
Exception to previous statement: For the record, MGD is best served in a 16-once red plastic cup.
All beer is actually best served as an enema.
You are another fan of a beer float? Do you drink it from a straw?
In the south we use a variation of the "cuillère à sauce individuelle": a biscuit!
So a 'food bully' is anyone who expects decent table manners? Go eat in your man cave away from the rest of civilized humans!
Your second sentence seems to support the positive case for the first.
I love to "drink" soup. A hearty stew like soup of course I eat with a spoon, but a cream or broth soup, I really like to drink. At home I will put it in a mug and do just that. I wish it were acceptable to lift the bowl to my lips while dining out. Maybe I will start the trend. With no slurping of course ~ see we all have our "rules".
The worst at this are Brit restaurants.
When you sit down there will be this large array of silver in front of you.
After you order some will be taken away (did you order wrong somehow?)
More may be added.
I finally did figure out what a fish knife was supposed to be for – although a regular butter knife works just swell.
fish and steak knives are different.
It is heartening to see this happens everywhere – jerks at tables spouting their food knowledge and 'unique' experience instead of enjoying what's before them... Thanks for a very well written article!
As for cutlery, I really think its a sheer waste of time, effort and money. Give me a humble fork or put the term 'finger-licking good' to practice! I think the dinner scene from 'Pretty Woman' best sums up the cutlery confusion... where the kindly Mr. Morse Snr. whispers advise to a flustered Vivian (Julia Roberts) staring, bewildered, down at an array of dinner cutlery. Cute, simple and yes, classic!
As for me, I like Molly Brown's response to Jack Dawson on "Titanic"
Jack: "Are all these for me?"
Molly: "Just start on the outside and work your way in."
Oh, yes! That one's a close second... well put, Maverick!
I'd like to know why these celebrities think they are so chic, eating with chopsticks! I personally think it's a bore.
There are somethings that chop sticks are best at – eating noodles for example.
Jello is another matter.
Jello? No problem! It's a shot!
The fork is the easiest way to eat noodles. Push in, turn, lift to mouth.
Eating with chopsticks isn't chic, but if you really know how to use them, it's a whole lot easier to eat with them than a fork. I learned how to eat with chopsticks at the same age as I did a fork and spoon, and given half a choice, I much prefer them when eating just about anything. Properly used, they're like extensions of your own fingers. And no, I'm not remotely Asian.
Although I do agree that just about anything celebrities do just because it's the current trend is annoying.
From what I've seen of the people my age, most of them don't even know what half the cutlery on a table is used for. But those who do know, they don't care. It doesn't look sloppy if someone uses a regular utensil instead of a "special utensil", it's just the super-orthodox people who even care and call it sloppy. If I see a small spoon or fork at the top of my plate, which is usually meant for dessert (or so I've been told), I will use it for my salad if the salad I'm being served doesn't come with an extra utensil. I often eat bread by breaking it into small pieces and covering each one with butter separately as I eat it, but that's pointless and a waste of time. Why not just take a decently-sized piece and eat it instead of taking tiny, impossible-to-fill-you-up bites one at a time? I don't eat like a pig when I do this. It looks fine. But as I've said, it's the food snobs that have the problems.
As for how to eat other foods, if it looks dry and able to be picked up and eaten, I'll use my fingers. I don't care if it's larger than some tiny snack-sized food item. It's really pointless to memorize all these rules of how to eat certain things when it's just other people you're trying to impress. No one gives me funny looks when I eat. The way society is going, uptight manners aren't going to last. Saying this, people will still have the run-of-the-mill table etiquette but nothing overly stupid.
My thought is that a silversith had an apprentice working on some spoon blanks and didn't supervise well enough. Then the owner of the resturant was too intimidated to argue when his overpriced "fancy" placesettings arrived...
I sorta love your theory! The Accidental Spoon sounds like an Edward Gorey book, to boot.
There's something to be said for knowing the correct way to eat certain dishes, or how natives actually eat or order something. And certainly one should know proper table manners for the situation they are in.
But knowing is one thing. Doing is another. Just as with proper grammar and punctuation, there are times that you should just relax and enjoy the experience rather than strictly adhering to correct structure.
And then, Lording that knowledge over others is a whole different kettle of fish entirely.
I have no problem with someone showing me how I should be eating something – I'll probably even ask first for someone to teach me. However, I do have a huge problem with anyone who watches me eat something incorrectly and smirks at me while pointedly doing it correctly. Or condescendingly telling me that I'm ordering wrong.
I find a cheerful "who cares?" sort of statement usually takes a bit of wind out of the foodie's sails.
"We're foodies!"
"What does that mean?"
"We like to go to cool restaurants and try new and unusual things!"
"Oh, so you're exactly like everyone else except you like to brag about it?"
I consider myself a foodie because I enjoy spending free time exploring new and unusual foods. It's a hobby of mine. I have friends who aren't foodies. They like trying new restaurants and some like to try new foods occasiaionally. But they don't enjoy spending their free time finding new/unsual foods. It's not a priority in their lives.
That's not bragging, it's just that I put more energy into it than someone who doesn't care to.
Oh Dom noooooo. Not "like everyone else except you like to brag about it?" My spouse has a very narrow window of foods s/he will eat.
Foodie is a made up name like Trekkie. As such, it means nothing to those who truly love foods or StarTrek et al. I love to experiment with foods and to try new ethnicities, etc. The difference is I won't call myself a foodie because of the pretentious connotation.
It's a media invented word for people who like to be called the current media invented word (see Locavore).
Just like everyone else? I don't think so. I have several friends who, if they can be persuaded to go out for a meal at all, are perfectly happy going anyplace where the prices are low and the food is edible. Old Country Buffet or Appleby's are right down their alley. More power to them, but if I'm going out for dinner I like a little more imagination and subtlety put into my meal. I'm not sure if I'm a foodie, but these friends are most definitely NOT foodies.
My husband is a chef, I am a long-time foodie (though not really a food snob). Unfortunately, I have the opposite problem of being bullied by picky eaters who make it impossible to enjoy eating because they won't eat anything.
I like the standard advice on flatware – work your way from the outside to the inside. Beyond that – bring on the bread!
It would make me eat my salad with a soup spoon.
Although the author seems quite certain about the correct pronunciation of quinoa, the world at large is much less so. Wikipedia and many online dictionaries also list [kee-NO-ah] as an acceptable pronunication.
I learn new things all the time!
Might I postulate that the chink the side of the spoon is to allow for a lip on a plate? That way the side of the spoon can effectively hug the surface and retrieve every tasty mL?
That was my initial thought upon looking at the picture. Seems obvious to me.
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then "delicious" is in the mouth of each diner. We all have different tastes/preferences when it comes to food and that is what should be celebrated. We all have to eat for nourishment. We should all enjoy the experience, without any guilt, as well.
Thank you for a delightful column. I love seeing proof that being knowledgeable about something does not HAVE to make a person a snotty stick in the mud.
Thanks for that! I love people who are thrilled to know things and want to share, not squash. Life's just more delicious that way.
Ditto. I like your playful use of words. You write a GOOD, readable column! Nice!
I never understood the 7 forks at a place setting.
Sadly there are many people who cannot feel any self-worth unless they are trying to make others feel small or like less. It says more about them but it does cast a pall over everything to have to suffer their company and snobbery. They are always kill-joys.