 No one enjoys listening to crying children while they're dining out, and parents are no exception. Mindful parents - and there are many of them - know the drill when it comes to eating out with children. They stick to family friendly restaurants, know the signs of an oncoming outburst and won’t hesitate to scoop up their children at first wail. That is if they decide to take the kids out in the first place. Those parents wish restaurants didn’t need to publicly state policies for dealing with unruly children or even ban them outright. They shudder when the media shines a spotlight on establishments that go that route; the controversy gives parents a bad name.
“I think it's unfortunate that a restaurant would need written rules,” said Britt Reints, a freelance writer and mother of two. “I can only imagine that comes after having too many parents not respect the dining experience of other patrons.” The controversy was reignited last week after Grant Central Pizza in Atlanta added a disclaimer to its menu asking parents to take crying children outside, out of respect to fellow patrons. Whenever a restaurant assumes a public stance on dealing with unruly children, it risks alienating customers. But it’s a chance more and more restaurants are willing to take, with increasing support from the parenting and non-parenting public. “I have children and I support grant central's policy 300 percent. I wish more eating establishments had the good decency to stand up and say no more to uncontrolled and undiciplined [sic] children,” one commenter said on the restaurant’s Facebook page, where owners thanked people for supporting them “during this nationwide controversy.” “We plan to eat in at Grant Central more often now. Thank you! We love kids, but parents need to take responsibility for occasional bad behavior,” another commenter said. McDain’s Restaurant and Golf Center in Monroeville, Pennsylvania, drew national attention last summer after deciding to ban children under six. Less than a year later, owner Mike Vuick said he is reaping the benefits of a sound business decision: sales are up 22 percent and he’s looking for more wait staff. The restaurant lost some regular customers, but they were replaced by a new crop of customers searching for a relaxed atmosphere, according to Vuick. “We’ve had nothing but quiet dinners, and not a day goes by that I don’t get e-mails from people thanking me or congratulating me,” he said. A number of factors played into the decision. Increasingly, parents seemed unwilling to stop children from running around the dining room or remove them if they were screaming or making noise. Polite nudging from staff was met with indignant responses, and in extreme cases, people stiffing them on checks. “I did it on behalf of parents who left their children at home expecting to have a nice dinner at a quiet venue,” Vuick said. “I knew it could backfire but it was a risk I was willing to take because I felt there would be enough people who’d appreciate what I was doing.” He has nothing against children, he says; it’s just a function of the kind of business he wanted to run. “There are plenty of places where families can go and it’s implicit that the dining experience will be subjected to noise and they have coloring books and playgrounds,” he said. “There are plenty of those around and only a handful of places like mine.” Indeed, some chains have family friendly built into their brand. For example, some parents go to The Cheesecake Factory because they know that children who require high chairs will be greeted with the complimentary “baby plate” sliced banana, freshly baked bread and an orange as soon as they are seated. “The Cheesecake Factory strives to provide our guests with phenomenal service, and servers are trained to customize their approach for each situation, focusing extra attention on the needs of families with young children,” spokeswoman Susan Pasarow said in an e-mail. Simply providing a children’s menu and crayons also goes a way, blogger and mom Rebecca Levey said. Other necessities include high-chairs, amenability to customized menu items like plain pasta, fast service, plastic cups and stroller parking, she said. Responsible parents also travel with an arsenal of toys and electronic devices to keep kids occupied, she said. “Families tend to travel in similar circles,’ said Levey, who runs the site, KidzVuz.com, which lets children rate and recommend games. “Parents tend to know the places that can accommodate them. because most don’t want to be in the position.” Family friendly places are also prime training grounds for instilling manners, Reints said, from treating wait staff courteously and saying please and thank you to speaking in a low voice and using good manners. “I think the key thing is to take your kids to restaurants often if you want them to learn how to behave,” she said. “The more experience kids having in these public spaces, the easier it is to bring kids to less "family friendly" restaurants, knowing your children will know how to behave.” |
The syndrome is named after the Austrian pediatrician Hans Asperger who, in 1944, studied and described children in his practice who lacked nonverbal communication skills, demonstrated limited empathy with their peers, and were physically clumsy.^`-*
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You go into a restaurant and you have screaming kids. They are mucking all over the counters. They are being loud....I am told that I should be tolerant of them and am selfish because I don't want them screaming so loud I can't enjoy my meal...well I ask: who is more selfish? Am I somehow responsible for your lack of birth control? I pay taxes so your brats can go to school. I have no children. Yet I can't go to the gym in the day time- that I pay to belong to- because school children are in the gym learning basket ball. Can't discuss "m" theory at chillies cuz screaming children and their parents can't restrain themselves. So no. I'm not selfish,don't think your mutants are cute ,and would appreciate it very much if you would kindly take a look at the current population level of 7 billion people and realize that you need to COOL IT! Cuz damn!
I am a single mom of an only child, so she pretty much went with me everywhere. If she decided to act out I would take her to the restroom for a stern chat and possibly, quite rarely, a light spank. After a few times, all I needed to do was ask, "Do we need to go to the ladies room?" She is now 17 yrs old, and when we encounter poor behavior in restaurants she chides me, "I guess they don't know the bathroom trick."
I am the oldest of six kids, now in my late 40s. My parents would take all six of us out to dinner on occasion. I remember walking in the restaurant and people eating would stop and stare. Thing was, we never misbehaved. We knew better. My mother had a "look" that meant "you may not make it to tomorrow". I also remember people coming up to my parents as they were leaving telling them how impressed they were that we were so well behaved.
Friends of mine and I went to a steakhouse in Philadelphia for dinner one night when they seated a family next to us. The kid was ALREADY screaming when they sat them! For 15 minutes this kid screamed and other patrons and myself all asked the woman to leave. The restaurant staff wouldn't. We paid $90 PER PERSON for dinner and were subjected to this! The mother said, "what can we do?" In unison a bunch of us said, "Leave!". Entitlement.
If I'm spending my HARD EARNED CASH to have dinner once month in a restaurant, to relax with friends, keep your kids under control OR LEAVE. Your brats are not the center of the universe, and I'm not
t putting up with it.
I don't think it should be a restaurant's responsibility to accommodate for unruly children. Expecting the restaurant to do anything other than to serve good food and have a good wait staff is irrational and ridiculous. It's an eatery, not a daycare. Parents are the ones who are responsible for taking care of their children, and that also means that if they're running around, screaming, or being disrespectful or disruptive, then the parents should do something about it. If the restaurant wants to provide crayons and a coloring paper, or puzzles, that's cool, but you shouldn't EXPECT that.
Children are so coddled these days it makes me worry about the next generation when they get into the real world, (and I'm 21, I thought MY generation was screwed.) You can go to jail for beating your kids, you can go to jail for yelling at them too much, and if you punish them, it's mental abuse! are you kidding me? when I was a kid, I got the belt. I think I turned out alright. These kids now- a- days, though, they're doomed.
I grew up in a suburb outside of Detroit, MI. Next to a landfill. This crap of coddling kids with a big, nice house, and all the toys they want, and spoiled rotten, is crap. That's all it is. Parents, please start taking care of YOUR OWN children. Thanks.
sincerely,
A concerned citizen of a screwed generation.
Co-sign.
Keep your BADLY Behaving child at home, there is a reason I chose NOT to have kids, and I dont want to see nor hear them in public. The instant a child rips off a temper tantrum, I make a scene and always ask for a manager in every place I am. I will no longer be quiet about YOUR KIDS. CONTROL THEM NOW.
AMEN !!! I will no longer remain silent! When I hear screaming kids in a public restaurant, I am complaining to the management or confronting the irresponsible parents. Get a babysitter, go to Chuck E Cheese, order carry-out, or eat at home!
I agree. I stopped at one child, as that's all I can handle and afford nicely– and until all children without parents are placed, people should not keep reproducing like rabbits, and some should not reproduce at all! My sister, though, lets her kids run around restaurants, climb anything they can, and circle the table grabbing occasional pieces food with their hands- never anything nutritious though. I inform her they need to sit down before they choke on food, trip someone, or knock the coffee pot off the coffee station; she says "Don't you think we've been told that before!? We both feel that we PAY ENOUGH to eat out, restaurants can put up with it!" So don't let irresponsible parents feign ignorance– they know how annoying their situation is and just don't care.
We need to be honest that this is a bigger problem with certain demographics than others – I am talking to you, wealthy, upper class white Americans (of which I am one). I was recently at a ski resort in Vermont and went to dinner at one of the restaurants where a group of 6 couples thought it was appropriate to let their 20 children (ages of about 4-10) sit separately from them and literally run wild through the restaurant, yelling, climbing on top of and over furniture and repeatedly bumping into servers and other diners. Apparently, the parents didn't want to spoil their meals by tending to their spawn. The staff saw this and kindly relocated us elsewhere, but really no matter where you were it was hard not to be affected by them. Then later I was sitting AT THE BAR and had an expensive jacket over the back of my stool when my husband reaches around to remove it because someone's six year old was behind me and decided to put his mouth on it while he tried to get the bartender's attention to get a snack. I understand that there are kid friendly places, but does that mean that everyone's right to an enjoyable meal, or even a glass of wine, goes out the window when precious little Johnny and Janey are around? Get a grip people.
“I think the key thing is to take your kids to restaurants often if you want them to learn how to behave”. No! The key is to teach your kids at home or at a house party, not in a public place, where strangers come to enjoy their meal! I was probably eight when I went to a restaurant for the first time. Before that my parents would go alone, or- most often- we would meet with friends or family at home. By the time I had my first restaurant experience, I already had great table manners. I knew how to behave and I knew how to control my voice.
Now, find a way to keep children off planes and the world will be a much better plance.
I am teacher, I work with 7 & 8 yr olds all day long. I love my students. However when I go out to eat in a full service restaurant I do not want to sit near children. I don't want to hear them. There are certain restaurants I simply won't visit, because I know they have a higher ratio children as guests. I want to dine with the friends or companion I am with and do so peacefully with just the quiet sounds of other adults nearby and the sounds coming from a busy kitchen/bar area and the music be it background or live.
Please parents, be the parent. If your infant or very young child starts making a fuss, please scoop them up and walk them outside until they can get settled. If your older child starts to misbehave, discipline them in an appropriate manner. Be it them leaving the table and sitting in the car, a visit to the ladies' or men's room for a stern conversation or swift swat on the backside. Your choice, but be the parent, be the one to set the boundaries of what is acceptable and not acceptable when you go out as a family to a nice restaurant. If they are old enough remind them that they can be left behind with a babysitter the next time the family goes out as a consequence for their lack of manners.
The actions that parents do today with their children set their manners for the future. You never know who will need finely tuned table manners for a corporate meal or diplomatic dinner.
This country needs to get back to family values and cook all meals at home for their children.
Before bringing the children and eating dinner outside, you need to make sure that your kids are well-trained. If not, then train them first because it will only cause chaos and it will end up buying pizza for dinner.
to all the people that think that loud, screaming, crying, unruly behaved children should be allowed in restaurants, I would like to suggest that you all band together and create a restaurant Chain, called the "Screaming Child". This way you will have someplace to go where the patrons know what the expectations are and people that don't like it would avoid it. I wish you the best of success with your restaurant, as it will be exactly what you want. Of Course you will have to complete with the McDonald's and Chuck E Cheese's restaurants for business. But best of luck and much success.
I love when restaurants do this, i know exactly where i can go for a quiet evening without having to worry if the kid crying at the next table is going to be taken outside til they calm down or if i'm gonna have to yell at the parent for not doing what they should be doing. Some parents out there are very respectful to everyone that is in these restaurants and take of a crying child immediately, then you have these parents who don't spank, discipline or even teach their kids how to act in public sitting next to you and you get fed up ask you server to box up your meal so you can reheat it at home. I understand how difficult it can be tending to a crying kid, but its not my kid and i won't deal with one sitting next to me and i will speak up if the parent isn't doing anything about it.
Years ago I used to wait tables and every time a group would come in with kids we would beg the hostess to sit them in someone else's section. It wasn't just the yelling or screaming or running around but the mess. As a waitress you obviously are expecting to clean up after your customers but frequently kids would mash up biscuits all over the floor spill drinks and condiments all over the chairs and leave the whole area disgusting. Its just ridiculous that a parent would think that was in the normal expected scope of what we would clean up. If I go get hi-lights in my hair and I have short hair I pay one price if have long hair I pay more. Waiting on little kids is many times much more work with no more pay. If it were my kids and they made a huge mess I would tell them to clean it up or if they were too young I would clean it up. However if they were causing these types of problems to begin with maybe they should be at home.
Part of the charm of taking the kids out to eat somewhere was always knowing someone else would be cleaning up after them. All you parents out there know you do this! That said, I ALWAYS made it a point to leave a very generous tip (usually double the normal 15 to 20%) and make sure the wait staff got well compensated for the atrocities of my little ones. We would also do our dead level best to minimize the damage. And like many here have suggested, we always went someplace willing to deal with it (then would give them LOTS of repeat business then highly recommended them to others).
Well said Ragin Cajun. I will happily be your waiter if come down my way.
As a parent of three, ages 8, 18 months and 6 weeks, I support restaurants creating restrictions or rules regarding children. My husband and I occasionally take our little family out to supper and spend a fair amount of time listening to other families' children throwing tantrums for 20 minutes or more. Unfortunately, parenting books these days tell us to never reprimand or use a harsh voice with, or (God forbid) spank our children as means of discipline, so now we have a generation of children being told "No, No, No! That's not very nice to do!" in a sing-song, lilting voice. By comparison, we issue a warning with a future consequence attached for our 8-year-old, and remove any children who begin throwing tantrums... straight outside, to the car. We value our dining experience and would never torment our fellow patrons. :P
However, I would worry if this became an overwhelming trend. Our children aren't restaurant-friendly because of dining habits at home. Those who believe behavior at the dinner table reflects good behavior at an eatery either don't have children or are new to this. My children behave at restaurants, grocery stores, doctors' offices, and most public places because we don't keep them cloistered at home with Dora and mac 'n' cheese. Children learn from exposure, so I hope these limitations don't start invading the current "family friendly" , more upscale restaurants during dinner hours.
Liz B, I beg to differ. Your children behave in restaurants, stores, etc.precisely because they have been taught at home. You don't plunk them down in front of "Dora" with mac 'n' cheese. You may serve them mac 'n' cheese, but if they eat it properly in a restaurant, it's because you've trained and taught them at your table. Kudos to you for raising well-mannered children.
Having been a nanny for about 15 years and worked with so many different families with different disciplinary tactics– I have to agree with Liz here. I've even worked with children who's behavior wasn't all that great at home, but perfect out– actually my current situation depicts that. The reason being that we spend most of our days out (mostly in child friendly places) and so we get to talk about how to behave when we're out, and the fact that we're sharing the space with other people.The kids are very aware of those around them and because of that they don't act a fool when we're out. They're not all that bad at home either, but they're more likely to throw a tantrum at home than elsewhere.
Why exactly does everyone think that this is a sufficient solution? I seriously doubt most restaurants want to spend thousands of extra dollars to create separate dining rooms for unruly children. Here's a novel idea build a room in your house where you can eat dinner. Oh yeah, i forgot they already have those, just can't be bothered to use them.
oh boo hoo, i don't even have kids but i think you all need to find something real to whine about..
If I walk into an adult restaurant, and I'm seated next to a child, I asked to be moved. If I cannot be moved, I leave. That being said, I don't go to "family restaurants". If I am going to pay $100+ for a meal, that last thing I want to deal with is a screaming, crying, child. Same thing with plane flights.
When my family and I go to dinner, I can see the concern in the other patrons eyes. "Oh no...three children, all under age 3. This will be a nightmare" they seem to say with their eyes.
And then we sit down. The family is quiet. I move a few things on the table out of the reach of my 10 month old daughter, but the older two (18 months, twins) police themselves. Abi watches her siblings as they quietly toy with the silverware. I remove any steak knives, but leave everything else in place. My husband talks with us and sets out their sipping cups.
Our meals arrive. The twins hand me whatever they were using to amuse themselves (sometimes we bring small non-noise-making toys) and I put them away. Everyone eats (the twins feed themselves, with or without silverware as they wish to practice), and I feed the baby bits of food at a time (never more than about five pieces, so she does not make a mess.) The children are not permitted to become loud, or to throw things, or become unruly and leave their chairs. When the meal is completed, I clean off the children's hands and faces (they eat neatly enough already not to need bibs in most cases). I then pick up any food that is on the floor because of the baby wanting to drop things. I do this whether I am wearing jeans and we are eating at a fast food place, or if I am in an evening gown and we are in a steak house. My children are my responsibility, it should not be left for the staff of the restaurant to clean up after them.
People often come to the table to meet my children. They comment on their behavior and ask how old they are. I have honestly been asked twice "can she speak? is she deaf?" regarding my youngest because she simply does not make a fuss. My usual response is to turn to my daughter and say "Abi, will you say hello to the nice lady/gentleman please?" I should carry around a camera for the looks when she says "Hello." Now she is 10 months old, and hello is probably one of about 10 words that she knows in total, but she knows it and she speaks it upon request.
Many children today make me very sad. I see them...three or even five years old and barely able to put together a sentence. By the time I was five I was fluent in two languages. I see first grade children who cannot tie their shoes or zip (ZIP!) their own coats. What has happened...it is so very sad.
Be grateful that your children are able to speak at such a young age. As parents, we cannot be responsible for the speed at which our children develop their abilities. My son required speech therapy in his toddler years. We can be responsible for their behavior until they are able to exhibit some form of self-control. Let's just be careful not to pass judgement on children who can't speak or throw tantrums as "bad" parenting when you don't fully know the extent of what is going on. If a child has autism, does a tantrum equal bad parenting? No. Should the tantrum be dealt with? Yes.
Ms. Vashra, having learned two languages as a toddler, now having well behaved, mature and well-manner kids, and being respectful o others in your vicinity at dinning, clearly places you in the socio-cultural milieu of European standards. Living in the States and in France, even the dogs nested beneath French tables are better mannered than American children: the level of violence in all American media, across the culture, NRA included, is a loss of societal respect and control. This lack of control cost us two futile wars, and thousands of American innocent youth and men killed, maimed physically and emotionally. The current Republican candidates for the highest office, offer the saddest display of mean spirited, hateful, denigrating dialogue that would not be tolerated in college debating. America, grow up! This adolescent, king-of-the-hill, macho stance is repugnant, repulsive, and the last two-term president set that as his standard for dealing with world. Shame.
You went from children in restaurants to...the NRA? And this then led you to war and finally back to your tattered, worn, pathetic it's-all-Bush's-fault "trump" card? What exactly do any of those have to do with the subject of the original article, being CHILDREN in RESTAURANTS? It's not even so much that your argument is flawed, as it is that you have no argument or followable train of thought. You lack critical thinking skills, and that is more worrisome for the country's future, than the vast-right-wing-conspiracy spooks that seem to follow you around every corner.
Pay no attention to your critics Eugene...I totally GET what you're sayin'! Also, I will not tolerate noisy kids close to me in a restaurant(not any f**king MORE)by demanding to be seated further away, or better, a DISCOUNT on my meal(if not FREE!).
Here's what you do parents: get a babysitter until your kids can show you at the diner table how to sit still and eat in a timely manner. Then once they consistently do this then they can go out with you. If they act up while out then just say "It's going to be a looonnngg time before you're allowed out with us." Dining out is a reward not a right. Grow a backbone parents.
If my years as a teacher have taught me anything, it's this: Children will live up to the expectations set for them. If you teach your child how to behave in public, reinforce good behavior when they meet the expectations and follow through with consistent, logical and appropriate consequences when they fail to do so, they'll surprise you with how well they can behave.The problem is that many parents just can't be bothered because setting limits and consistently enforcing them is hard and takes some effort. The result is kids who behave like spoiled brats and parents who just can't seem to understand why.
My sister-in-law has two boys in middle school–they're polite and well-mannered because she's set expectations and reinforced the behavior she wants to see from day one. Her friends always tell her how "lucky" she is that her kids are so well-behaved, like it just happened by magic. No, it's because she actually teaches her boys how to act, and their kids could be that well-behaved too if they would do the same. It's not that hard–just takes consistency and the willingness to follow through every time, whether it's convenient or not.
Hear, hear, Sara!
Oops....double comment. Is there a way to delete the duplicate?
Not that I'm aware of, but what the heck, it's worth reading twice. :)
Children will live up to the expectations set for them. If you teach your child how to behave in public, reinforce good behavior when they meet the expectations and follow through with consistent, logical and appropriate consequences when they fail to do so, they'll surprise you with how well they can behave. The problem is that many parents just can't be bothered because setting limits and consistently enforcing them is hard and takes some effort. The result is kids who behave like spoiled brats and parents who just can't seem to understand why.
My sister-in-law has two boys in middle school–they're polite and well-mannered because she's set expectations and reinforced the behavior she wants to see from day one. Her friends always tell her how "lucky" she is that her kids are so well-behaved, like it just happened by magic. No, it's because she actually teaches her boys how to act, and their kids could be that well-behaved too if they would do the same. It's not that hard–just takes consistency and the willingness to follow through every time, whether it's convenient or not.
I have found over the years that parents who do not control their children are incredibly childish people. I applaud the restaurants who are reminding the parents that it is the parents responsibility to control their children. After all, the entire point of parenting is to help your child gain the resources and skills they need to become a competent, responsible adult.
Ah...kick the kids out of restaurants, airplanes, hell lets do parks and playgrounds – maybe schools too. Hey kids stay off the grass you are matting it down. We all need our quiet space and hate disruption as we slide into our narcissistic coma. I guarantee all of bozos posting on this were major pains in the a$$ when they were small. Get a life and find real things to complain about.
Yes, I was a pain in the a$$ when I was smaller. The difference is, my parents didn't take me out to be a pain in the a$$ to other people – they stayed home or got a babysitter who they paid to put up with my being a pain in the a$$. Once my parents taught me manners and how to behave in public, I was much less a pain in the a$$ and was able to enter society with less chance that I be a pain in the a$$.
Even then, if I acted out in public there were repercussions. We left the restaurant, we went home instead of the fun place we were planning on going, we didn't get the special treat we were planning on getting. I got to go to bed early. And it was because I had not behaved properly in public. You learned to be on good behavior, and it helped you all through life.
You get a gold star for the most annoying post of the day.
Spoiled brat?
" I guarantee all of bozos posting on this were major pains in the a$$ when they were small. Get a life and find real things to complain about."
Really? You GUARANTEE it? I applaud these places of business for sticking to their guns and trying to make their customer's dining experience comfortable. And no, I wasn't a pain in the butt. My parents didn't put up with that crap. We were taught manners at an early age. Any parent who let's their kid scream and cry while out to eat is obviously completely unaware of how it affects other diners. I'm in the service industry and have been for many years. Believe me, dealing with a child that is running around the restaurant or screaming and crying is not fun for anybody. I've nearly tripped over children and once even knocked one down, because I had a tray and couldn't see this small person that had just run underneath. The parents were not watching. If parents would control their children, these places of business wouldn't have to make these rules. For the record, I enjoy serving well-behaved, polite children.
Sounds good to me!
Hey CNN, if you are monitoring this forum – what is up with replies not going where they are supposed to. I personally replied to 2 different postings that ended up showing under the wrong postings (and after reading through the comments, I am not the only one that had this problem). I applaud the fact that I don't have to sign in under a (shudder) facebook ID to post a comment like most online news services do (does facebook pay them for that?), but it would be nice if the comment ended up under the posting I was commenting about rather than under a posting I totally agree with.
Good idea...saves me the urge to punch the little sex trophies and their clueless parents.
I don't have kids but this idea offends me anyway! Let the parents take responsiblity and have management discreetly take action if needed. Kids are part of society and they need to learn socialization skills not be banned from social settings. It seems to me this is the exception, not the rule, so why ban all children assuming they'll all be unruly? Bad decision in my opinion. It just sends the wrong message in many ways.
Your opinion does not matter.
It's because restaurants have tried that and it didn't work that this has come about. It's because of parents who don't, or won't, recognize that they are not taking responsibility for the actions of their children that this has come about. "Kids will be kids" is not taking responsibility. It's a shame you don't recognize the necessity of this restaurant's actions.
Kids can learn social skills many different places including other restaurants that still court a family friendly atmosphere. Kids getting social skills is probably very far down the list of things that actual restaurant owners trying to make a living care about. They have a right to court a quiet, adult atmosphere if that is what they want.
Natalie, I agree that it is offensive in general. However, I have to reserve the right of any business owner to set a policy that supports their business. Unfortunately this is one of those issues that cannot be legislated. Some parents are conscientious and others just suck. I have managed restaurants where I would try to encourage parents of unruly children to rein them in – to no avail. At times they are belligerent. If you work for a chain they will just contact the corporate office and lie about how "rude" the staff was when they were quietly trying to enjoy their dinner.
I have children who at times misbehaved. When that happened we left. I have taken my children out to wait in the car while my husband waited for our food to be wrapped to take home. Now that my children are grown I find I am even less tolerant than before. But I have the same feelings toward groups of adults creating a cacophony of noise – laughing and shouting over each other. Or the obnoxious lout who takes a call on his cell and shouts his whole conversation for the entire restaurant to hear – or worse – uses a speaker system so we can hear both sides of what usually turns out to be an inane conversation.
Sadly, we cannot make people be decent, empathetic human beings. My message to all – please do not blame the staff! They are very limited in what they can do. To the girl who waited tables and slapped the mom on her last day at work – that's called assault and is also inappropriate as well as illegal.
Frustrating as it is people are rude. Why add to it and be rude yourself? Natalie is right this is offensive to parents who are mindful of how their children can disturb others. Don't be the jerks you are complaining about.
My last day waiting tables in college, a womans son was yelling at the top of his lungs. I told the lady, "this is what you need to do to that brat." I slapped her face, clocked out and went home.
You're my new hero.
AWESOME!
kids can be kids at any place that i am not paying to eat.
I will discipline your child if you do not. some parents ruin it for other parents. period.
Try and discipline my child you little ###-clown and I guarantee that it's the last you ever try it.
"I don't understand why the police keep picking on my precious, special snowflake! He's just expressing his individuality by stealing cars, assaulting people, and burning down the neighbor's house! Don't tell me this has anything to do with lack of discipline, you're all just haters!"
I agree that there should be rules for childrens behavior in public and if a parent can't make their child behave they should keep them at home. When I was little I knew I better behave in the stores and such because if I didn't and I embarred my mom by not behaving she would wait til we got in an elevator and believe me I suddenly straightened up and that only had to happen once and I in no way was abused, I was parented. Part of childrens behavior now a days is that the parents don't give a dam and the other part is that the government has the parents all afraid that if they discipline thear child they will be the ones in trouble.
Unattended children will be added to the menu.
Some people think they have a right to force their child's misbehavior and noise pollution on everyone around. Its called being RUDE. Whether at a restaurant or Walmart where the kids are allowed to run through the store with no supervision. My son helps me get the groceries at Walmart and its a standing joke as to how many screaming babies there are! Some of it cannot be helped BUT last week the parents totally ignored the screaming toddler in the cart.
The article mentioned "mindful" parents who will do something about the situation. The one *I* cant stand are the ones who tune out the noise and hope it will go away. Bratty kids, bratty parents.
I don't think restaurants should completely ban crying babies. Perhaps have special seating for parents with young infants so that even if the baby decides to wail, other patrons of the restaurant aren't bothered.
Jenny
Why should a restaurant owner have to set up a child zone? Why don't we just require bars to set up a special area for children so their parents can enjoy a grown-up night out?
That concept has already been addressed. It's called hiring a babysitter and leaving the brats at home.
To those who whine about the ADA covering your kids behavior, give it up.
It does not cover your lack of parenting. Common Sense/Common Law applies here, not a nanny state law!
Let's give a example.
I require a service dog to function, no exceptions. The ADA covers me to protect against discrimination, but not for bad behavior!
"Get out, no dogs allowed!" Is not a valid reason and opens up a lawsuit!
However, if I bring my dog in and he starts peeing all over the place, jumping on tables, running to the kitchen and snatching food, etc etc...
See where the issue is here? My dog sitting quietly in a corner is not a issue until he starts jumping up on the table and peeing on your leg!
Then they can kick my ass over the moon and out. It is my duty to practice common sense and respect others!
Your kid is no different!
I've been to disneyland many times, and I can't begin to tell you how many times a restaurant ends up as a jungle gym. It all starts here probably!
No one cares 30 feet outside is a roller coaster, you sit respectfully and eat your meal then go and get on it!
I was required to follow these rules, otherwise it was time to leave and go back home for being disrespectful!
No one should have to suffer for your childs outbreaks or jungle gym attitude!
PS: I'm autistic myself, so I know what I'm talking about! (Adult now)
I have problems in public, but I don't start screaming and kicking the walls. I feel like it sometimes, but I'm heavily encoded to be respectful of others. My dog insures I don't have severe outbursts, my port in the storm...
If I'm stressed, you would find me petting my dog a lot, brushing his coat, etc.
Which would you prefer? That, or me whipping out the ADA as a shield and throwing pasta onto your table during your 40th anniversary celebration?
"Don't kick me out or my kids, I'm autistic! Woo ADA!"
ADA is not a get out of jail free card, it is a horrible problem and a huge disservice is done for others when it's misused!
Not only does it help me in situations, but I am a ambassador for others!
Thank you...love this!
DONT WORRY ABOUT MY KIDS ACTING UP OR ACTING OUT! THEY NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME THE PARENT! IF I DONT GET GOOD SERVICE YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT. IF I DONT GET GOOD SERVICE I THE PARENT WILL ACT UP OR ACT OUT FOR POOR PEOPLE SKILLS!
Just a friendly note...TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS EQUIVALENT TO YELLING. If you genuinely want to get your point taken seriously, you might want to turn off the caps lock. And please stay on topic or troll somewhere else. The article and subsequent discussion are about the need for parents to control their children in restaurants – not about adults throwing tizzy fits over poor service.
You are the real issue...Bad parent, bad child. Do us a favor and stay at home.
"ACT OUT FOR POOR PEOPLE SKILLS!"
Poor people skills, poor punctuation practices; poor grammar; poor internet skills. Bet you're all the fun at parties. How about a little self-reflection there skippy?
Thanks, tulsa, for making all Oklahomans look like idiots.
I hope you and your kid stay home. Why punish the waitstaff?
OMG I TOTES KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN GIRL! I LOVE ACTING LIKE A BRAT, TOO!
No, wait. I don't. In fact, you as an adult [ a-dult; adj- having attained full size and strength; grown up; mature] are obligated NOT to act like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. There are very tactful, very subtle ways to improve your poor service without singling out a waiter/waitress, or going to their immediate manager. The first lesson you learn is: be understanding. The more difficult you are as a customer, the poorer your service will be. The second lesson: Not everyone has a fan-freakin-tastic day, every day of the week. Understand that *this* day may just be an off day for them (or that you're just rude to everyone you meet, in which case, you should strike the second lesson and tattoo the first on your arm as a constant reminder that you're sucking at being human).
Also, please, please, PLEASE remember that caps lock is not cruise control for cool.
Oh, and grow-up already, will ya?
The only people who care about this are the same people who think the world revolves around them. We all know their childhood was exceptional and they were perfect angels 24/7.
Take a look at the over 1300 comments, and you'll discover that this effects most people who enjoy dining out. I'm a parent, and I expect my son to behave himself. Even when he was little, if he started to get fussy, I took him out of the room until he settled down. Other people shouldn't be subjected to listening to my kid cry. By the same token, I shouldn't be subjected to disturbances from other people's children, either. It's not difficult to do, really. Unfortunately, there seems to be a growing number of parents who refuse to control their children in public, and it has made dining out a miserable experience for many of us.
It isn't only restaurants. We have parties in the small (11-person on production days) newspaper office where I work. We had one such party for our retiring postal carrier. At these affairs, we put the big food containers on all the desk space we can find and most people eat standing. Space dictated that one such container of french fries was on a chair, within easy reach of one of said postal carrier's three- or four-year-old grandsons. The kid wiped his runny nose with his hand and then, while his mother was sitting and watching, grabbed a handful of fries with that same hand. Not only was it rude and well within the limits of correctable behavior, the kid turned the fries tray into a disease vector. One of my co-workers and I covered it and put it out of everyone's reach.Since the mother and the kid were related to the person for whom we were having the party, we didn't think we could do much more than one or two direct looks. We were still appalled at the inconsideration displayed.
You're damn right it doesn't only happen in restaurants. I filed police reports AND a report with the city because there is always 15-20 kids in my apartment courtyard doing all kinds of noise related activities. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and never got any peace. So, I got tired of it finally, and had enough. There was lack of supervision/neglect, destruction of property, fighting, etc., along with them kicking soccer balls into the walls, windows, and doors. I've been invited to mediation, and you bet your ass I'm going to it.
I am totally against second-hand children. I am so sick of narcissistic parents forcing their wretched spawn on me everywhere I go. It makes me wish people needed a license to reproduce and that license required a rigid screening process. Of course this isn't the case and any worthless mutt can spew pups with an alarming frequency. I've lived in many places, but currently live in Austin, TX and have never imagined the degree of miserable parenting that I witness here with regularity. Really, you need to take your babies to the grocery store at 11PM on a friday night?? Please God, have them be buying birth control. Welfare isn't just a check you get, it's also a minimum expectation of the state of being you could hope a child might experience. My girlfriend and I rarely even go out anymore because if we're going to spend money on a meal we don't prepare ourselves, we would at least hope to not have to listen to a baby next to us screaming it's lungs out because the human refuse that brought it there can't be bothered to acknowledge it. This happens so often it's utterly disturbing. Would we go out more if there were child-free restaurants? Absof'inltely. I can say one thing. We have a chain of movie theaters here that doesn't allow children unless the movie is specifically a children's movie. This is the best thing an adult could ever hope for. I shouldn't have to listen to your baby screaming at Freddy Krueger for 2 hours because your were too f'in cheap or lazy or disrespectful to find a babysitter. I can assure you that your baby isn't enjoying Freddy Krueger or whatever loud and violent R-rated fare you thought would be okay to bring a baby to.
To .45:
Your reply is by far the best one yet! I could not have said it any better myslef.
Thanks!
:)
This should be banned or added to the menu.
Don't ban crying kids–have a "family oriented separate room for all parents and kids who are not trained to be in public.
Do prohibit kids that run around and cannot stay seated and their parents from being in restaurants and movies and on airplanes
Do reserve certain flights and movie times for people and their babies–do not allow parents with small kids to go to movies rated PG or R regardless if the parent is there or not'
DO ban all children under 6 from riding on airplanes except certain "family flights" That way they can all be in hell together as their kids scream, run around and cry and they all look at each other beaming as if all that noise and unruly behavior is the greatest thing since sliced bread
(the prohibitions should also be for people who do not have enough sense to have their brats SIT on seats instead of standing on them , looking over the top, and throwing food or reaching for the heads of other diners, movie goers or plane riders.
Also FINE parents or charge them with neglect if they allow their children to ride in shopping carts standing up or allow them to climb in and out of the carts–tie that brat up or keep it at home.
"have a "family oriented separate room for all parents and kids." More PC bull c rap of accommodating negligent parents and their oblivious brats.
My feelings are mixed on this subject.But i would not go to a place with this in affect because it seems somewhat like a "prejudice" against children..Ask the parents to leave, to watch their kids whatever.Let em get mad...but don't single out the whole bunch...=)
I'm a mom, and I don't see a prejudice here. I see two distinct situations – both perfectly acceptable to me as a parent and a patron. The first is a simple menu statement requesting that parents keep their children from disrupting the dining experience of others. Sad that it has to be stated, but it's an absolutely reasonable expectation. The other is simply a restauranteur recognizing the need for a niche market in providing an adult-only establishment. His huge growth in sales is enough to validate his decision. While we love our son dearly, when my husband and I get to go out on a rare date, the last thing we want is to hang out with kids. There are plenty of places we can go as a family – but few we can go and be grown-ups with no children around. A place like that would be perfect for us. Wish we had more like it around here.
Well, now that smoking has been banned, you ought a know that SOMETHING was gonna be next. My ex and I took our children out to eat in restaurants when they were little. The only problem we had was with out Autistic daughter. If we had a problem with one of the kids, one of us (usually me) took the child out to the car and stayed there with her. Our children learned real fast how to behave in restaurants. Unfortunately, we were a rarity.
Oh and by the way, my autistic daughter is now 13 and can still be a little bit of a handful. Restaurants and other places are going to have to watch out violating Americans with Disabilities criteria.
It's parents like you who are the problem. How dare you threaten to invoke the ADA because you felt it necessary to bring your "handful" out into public. If your child (autistic or otherwise) is disruptive to the point that she cannot be settled down within a minute or two, she doesn't belong in a restaurant. That's not discriminating against her – it's common sense and shows respect for those around you. Why should I, a paying customer, have to be subjected to a teenager throwing a three-year-old's temper tantrum? I'm sorry it's inconvenient for you, but that's a problem you need to deal with – not us. Dining out is a privilege – not a right. I have friends with autistic children, and see the struggles they face. But they are at least respectful enough of others to keep their boys at home so as not to ruin it for everyone else. I've often stayed with my neighbor's autistic boy, so the rest of the family could enjoy a peaceful evening out. If you feel it necessary to go out, I suggest you consider taking your daughter to restaurants that are developmentally appropriate for her. Though she's 13 now, perhaps McDonald's or Chuck E. Cheese's are more fitting environments for her.
I hope you are not a mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE A BAD WAY OF THINKING. IM GLAD YOU ARE NOT HANDICAPED!
I AM a mom – one who expects her child to be respectful of others around him. When he was little, I took him out of the room if he became disruptive. The same was expected of my brother and me when we were children. My brother had ADHD, but was able to go out to eat with us, because he was taught how to behave. However, we didn't go out to fine-dining until he was a little older and able to handle a longer, quieter meal. Many children with autism can be taught the same way. It takes patience and time. You have to start with family meals at home, then work up to places like McDonald's or Chuck E. Cheese's, where disruptions are okay. Eventually, many autistic children/young adults can enjoy normal nights out with their families at nicer places. But until the time that they can be successfully acclimated to those environments, it's not only rude to the other patrons, it's unnecessarily cruel to the child. For most autistic children, change and tight control are stressors which can trigger a meltdown. As I stated above in my example, my friends with the autistic boy know their son's limits, and only take him to places that are appropriate for his developmental level. Any time that they want to go somewhere nicer, for a date night, or for the rest of the family to enjoy a quiet dinner out, I volunteer to stay with him at home. This isn't cruel, rude, or discriminatory. Just the opposite. This is realistically dealing with a difficult disability in a manner that respects the child and those around him/her.
You are a sad "lady". Would you wish the children to be confined to a house for life?
Ken–did you read what she wrote? She's clearly not saying that at all. She's saying that children with special needs often can be taught to behave in public, but it takes more time and patience than it would for a typical child. In the meantime, there are plenty of places that would be appropriate for a child with special needs who has outbursts and hasn't yet learned to control them. Fine-dining establishments where the expectation is quiet and relative self-control, however, are not one of them. This is completely reasonable and is not discrimination–it's common sense and basic consideration for others.
Are you completely serious Happy Mom? We have an autistic son who is severely limited. I do not attempt to take him to fine dining unless of course Red Robin is fine dining. However, we never know when or why or where he will melt down. It may happen in Target or Red Robin or McDonalds. It has NOTHING to do with teaching him how to behave and you are insane to think otherwise and clearly know NOTHING about the disorder. We leave when he does this, but sometimes that is not quick or easy. He is almost 9 years old. I can no longer pick him up and carry him out of wherever. We have suffered such looks from people over the years that I can hardly stand it. Everyone assumes he is a brat since he looks normal. Meanwhile, my other 3 children (yes 3) are perfectly behaved. We have a right to dine out just like other people. We have a right to do things as a family. How about some tolerance? I agree many parents with normal children need to get it together. We are raising a generation of wild animals, but don't throw my disabled son into the mix. NOT EVEN on the same playing field and it has no place in this conversation. May you never know the hell that this is personally in your family.
If the restaurant is only banning children with disabilities, then they would be violating the Disabilities Act. If they are banning all children under a certain age, they are not violating the law any more than a theater would be violating it by refusing admission to children under the age required by movie ratings.
Ahh. A refreshing voice of reason. Thank you.
More in the American war on children.
It's not a war on children. It's responsible policy for maintaining pleasant conditions in public establishments, and not enabling irresponsible, clueless parents that haven't properly trained their children to behave appropriately. Years ago parents didn't allow this crap, and it shouldn't be any different today. Go to Europe sometime: you'll rarely see the kind of pandemonium from those kids that little American Neanderthals are all too well known for.
Oh good grief! CHILL!
lmao THANK YOU. That is exactly was I was thinking. Many of these adults sound like bratty little children themselves.
Parents have to eat, and more often than not are the ones too busy/stressed to cook. A babysitter isn't always feasible, and certainly infants are best off with their mothers (and sleep most of the time anyway!) As a child, my parents took me to restaurants all the time, and I was well-behaved (except that I politely asked nearby diners to stop smoking, as those were the days before smoke-free laws). I now take my kids to restaurants and the biggest problem is when the toddler wants to run around, but I don't let her, and if she screams, we take her outside. If the infant fusses, it's only for a moment because he's hungry or tired, and either problem can be dealt with quickly (of course, nursing an infant in public is another controversial topic, but I imagine people prefer that an infant be discreetly nursed at the table than scream hungrily). There ARE kids that misbehave in restaurants, and generally my only reaction is "I'm glad that's not my kid."
Order carry out if "parents just have to eat" either that or learn to raise the kids. I have 5–NONE acted out in public EVER because raising was not something I began when there was a problem–I started raising my kids to act right in public from the very first time they could understand what I was saying to them
Absolutely, children, people who burp, pass gas, itch their left ear, giggle, look strange, have crossed eyes, drag their left foot, wear baggy pants, have a stain on their right shirt pocket, have mud on their shoe, have untied shoe string(s), have toe jam, burgers hanging out of the left nostril, mustard on their shirt, undone zippers, jehova witnesses, athiests, nazis, skin heads, long haired freaky people, Wall Street types, and any other of these objectionables
I like to eat good food and so does my son. He is a polite boy, he has nice manners, and sophisticated palette. I am insulted when we have to leave a restaurant because of his age. He is a human being just like the rest of us. I can understand why it is a sore subject though, my son has a good mother who has taught him well , not everyone can claim that ; ). My advise is to be a better parent, by introducing new things to them constantly and explain to them everything, you can't just teach them to have manners but why we have manners in the first place. I want my son to grow up to be a man and he knows that. The stereotype that all children are unruly is false. I do take offence when told we can't eat at your establishment, because who are you to tell me what kind of mother I am?
You are delusional, all parents say their kid is wellraised, but in reality most of them are brats.
Bullcrap Somegal.
MOST parents can keep kids quiet, and keep them from bothering anyone. The problem is that the ones who act up are so vocal that you don't notice the well behaved kids sitting at their table coloring, or looking at iPads while they wait for their food.
My daughter has been going to restaurants with me since she was born. When she acted up, I left with her, while my husband got the check. She is perfectly well behaved, occasionally needs to be reminded to lower her voice, but otherwise is perfectly fine. I get compliments on her manners all the time. My two year old son 90% of the time is perfectly well behaved. BOTH my kids stare at kids who are kicking up a fuss.
Many parents have kids that behave in public. Actually open your eyes.
You're full of it. Stop and look around the next time you're in a decent restaurant. There are many well-behaved children out there. Mine is one of them. I'm not saying this because I think my little boy is the perfect little angel. I'm saying it because I've been complimented countless times by many strangers on my son's manners in public. After my son flew home from a trip to visit family by himself last summer (at the age of eleven), I was approached by the gentleman who sat next to him. I was told that my son was a complete gentleman and that he was a pleasure to visit with throughout the flight. My son is that way because that's what he was taught, and that's what's expected of him – whether his parents are there or not. Unfortunately, there are some parents out there who fail to teach their children these valuable lessons. These children, though still the minority, are the ones who make people like you assume that all children are bad.
I don't think they are saying ALL kids are unruly – just that there are enough of them to warrant posting standards. My son is also very well-behaved. I've taken him everywhere with me, and took him out of the room within moments if he couldn't settle down. Since he was very young, we have received compliments on what a "little gentleman" he was. Having said all this, I would still respect a restaurant owner's request that no children be allowed, if that were their policy. There are plenty of other restaurants to which I can take my son (now twelve), and my husband and I would then know where to go for our next date night.
There are plenty of well-behaved kids out there, but the problem is parents who think their darlings are refreshing examples of individuality and 'high spirits'. Like every screaming brat is going to be the next great artist or visionary billionaire and discipline would suppress their budding genius. Sassy, unruly brats who receive no parental guidance in public situations will likely become adult boors.
Children should not be where adults are trying to enjoy themselves.
So your parents NEVER took you to restaurants?
That's right. I never went to a sit-down restaurant with my parents until I was about 8 years old. they wouldn't even take me to church until I was about to enter school. They knew better, and so did all the other parents at that time.
Most adults like you should be banned for their behavior too! Rude and ignorant comment by you! I agree with Harris!
well, that may be a little extreme but I understand what you mean.
this policy should become more widespread. I totally agree with it.
it is an appropriate response to the parenting skills of todays parents. sorry folks, but if you would have done a better job (without your lame excuses) this would not have happened.
next: I hope hope hope hope………………..movie theatres!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! I hope YOU dont have kids who have parents like YOU.
I think if there is an out of control child at any restaurant they should be asked to leave. If I'm at IHOP and there are kids flinging food at strangers they should be asked to leave with shame. Seriously, no one wants to go to any restaurant where kids are literally going to start a food fight. It chases people who have well behaved kids away as well. Yea certain restaurants should bar kids because parents need a break from kids and young adults go out to certain places to drink excessively. They should also ban people who send their food back too much...obviously those people will never be satisfied and should eat alone in the dark at home watching jerry springer.
I like it! Let a business owner choose how to run his/her own establishment! No one expects to get a burger at KFC. That is because for years there have been no burgers on the menu. So if a business decides to keep children out and you don't like it, go somewhere else. If this is truly how the majority feels then the owner will either change their rules or go belly up. If you are against this, ask yourself a simple question. If you are a tax paying business person, do you want someone dictating to you how to run your business? This would likely be a non-issue if parents would pay attention to their children. They take them out with them as if to act like a family, but often just divide into two groups, adults/children. If someone took you out to dinner and then ignored you, or only acknowledged you when you screamed, then it would be likely that you would scream more too. I consider myself a tolerant person, but just this week I was out with my spouse for lunch at a nicer place. The kid behind me was more than halfway into my booth 10 to 20 times. How much is enough before I have to ask a parent to be a parent? I don’t want to have to ask, and they want me to mind my own business. Well I say “mind your manners!” I have kids of my own, but I taught them how to sit at a dinner table and eat their meal at home, long before I attempted a public setting (fast-food not included). Should the wait staff have to be concerned with spilling boiling hot food on someone’s child as it runs the walkways? If anyone deserves to have the hot food spilled on them it is the thoughtless parents. We all like to get our meal in a timely manner, so if a meal gets spilled then the wait time goes up. Next the prices go up. Try to remember, the wait staff often make very little money. They rely on tips to get their pay to equal minimum wage in many places. They are neither your babysitter nor your personal servant. Treat them and those around you with respect. That example will go along ways toward teaching your children how to act in public.
That would be just the opposite of tolerant. I'm glad you consider yourself so high and mighty that the presence of a child entering your booth space has your blood boiling. You should be thanking that child for sharing that momment with you. They child was just innocent to your rude behavior. What an ass!
Hey Parent, guess what: nobody thinks your bundle of joy is anywhere NEAR as charming as you do. I like kids, personally. But that doesn't mean that everything they do is acceptable. In fact, I would go so far as to say most of what kids want to do is NOT socially acceptable. I don't blame the kids, though, because that is their nature and I don't think the original poster was angry at the kid so much as angry at the irresponsible parent. Any parent who allows their child to disturb the peace of others more than a first time is doing a bad job of raising their child. That is all, there is no debate, teaching a child to be a good citizen is the main responsibility of a parent. If a parent can't or won't do that, their children should be removed while there is a chance to raise the child to be a functioning member of society.
Reply to A Parent – You are the type of parent who is the cause of all this issue. Your little sweet heart is a pain to everyone else.
For the record “mind your manners!” was solely directed at the parent. At no time do I think it appropriate to reprimand anothers child when the parent is there to do so. After all; that is the parents job. I did however find it necesary to remind the so-called parents that they indeed had a child and brought it with them to lunch. If this makes me an ass, well then so be it.
My conclusion? The misbehaved child crawling in and out of the booth was probably reared by you.
Hey, keep your spoiled, ill-behaved little yuppie-spawn in your booth where they belong. Better yet, leave them at home so everyone can have a nice, quiet dinner. You are the definition of boorish.
You're the ass for thinking it's acceptable to let a child invade another person's private dining space. No one should be expected to tolerate that kind of incredibly rude behavior. You are the type of parent this article is about. It's not about the kids – it's about the parents failing to control them and teach them how to be well-behaved in public. I am also "a parent" and my child would never have been allowed to act like that. Vats-a-Weiner had a great deal more patience than I would have had in that situation. I would probably have ignored the first invasion, waiting to see how the parent responded. After that, I would have said something along the line of, "Excuse me, would you please keep your son/daughter over there, we're trying to enjoy our meal, and he/she keeps interrupting us." If the child were a little older, I would have said directly (but nicely), "This is our table. You need to go back and sit down with your Mommy/Daddy." I've never been afraid to say something to a child when a parent is unwilling to do so. I've often found that they respond quite well and do as they're asked. I think that falls under the "it takes a village" category. It's up to all of us to set an example and maintain standards of behavior for the children around us.
Hi Vats! I think you’ll appreciate this one. I went out to eat with a friend one night a few months ago. We went to Chili’s which is not a fine dining restaurant so it’s not like I expected to have a fine dining experience but there was a kid screaming at the top of his lungs on the other side of the restaurant. He carried on for over 20 minutes. The real gems to this story were the people who sat behind me. There were two women and a young boy who was around 4 or 5 if I had to guess. My friend and I were in an end booth in a row of back to back booths like I said, I was on the side of the booth closest to them. The boy began to stand up in the booth and lean over next to me and invade my space while screeching in my ear. His mother proceeds to tell him to behave “or that lady is going to yell at you”. Really?? I wasn’t angry at the boy…I was angry at the mother for hinting around that me, a total stranger should yell at her kid for her. I never said a word to the boy. He did it a few more times and the woman warned him AGAIN that I (THAT LADY) was going to yell at him if he didn’t behave. Finally I looked at my friend and said loud enough for her to hear, “I can’t believe a random stranger is expecting me to discipline her kid for her.” They left shortly after that. I couldn’t believe she had the flipping NERVE to put that on me. I wanted to slap the daylights out of her. Those are the kinds of parents that should NOT take their kids out to eat and ruin the dining experience for all of the other patrons in the restaurant. ;)
Sometimes, young toddlers and new places with strange people can be frightening for them. Some restaurants are better for toddlers than others. As long as parents choose the restaurant carefully, things should alright. I mean, I expect to hear children crying at IHOP but I don't expect it at a four star restaurant.
As a mother of two children, my daughter is turning 4 and my son is 14 months old. But, I must say I can kind of agree with these disclaimers or rules. The only reason why I am not in full agreement is... they say if a child is misbehaving, crying, yelling, running, etc. but what if the child is a baby under the age of 9 months or so, and they aren't crying for attention or to misbehave, Does the parent really need to take them out of the restaurant? And what if it's a single parent with like 2 children and a baby? The baby starts to cry because she needs her bottle.. Is this parent going to have to get up and leave with all 3 children until the baby calms down? And then what happens if they were just served their food and the baby starts to cry?
Well as others have said, choosing a child friendly venue is also perfect. I personally prefer Fuddrucker's as a family establishment.
I don't think a single mom is going to be dining at a four star restaurant? I think that its going to be the kind of restaurants that parents go to ..to get away from their kids for one romantic night that is going to have such a policy. A four star restaurant with razor sharp steak knives and a plethora of candles is hazardous to children anyway
Under any and all circumstances a screaming or crying child of any age should be removed. The some goes for anything that is causing a disturbance of others – barking dogs in the neighhood, someone with a coughing spell, people in an argument, etc. To not do so is just plain rude.
You know what really annoys me? When I was growing up me and my brother and sister were always expected to behave and sit quietly at the table.. Now when my little sister is expected to act the same way people think it is a miracle. They say she is so well behaved and so respectful and any other complement they can think of. This is so stupid to me because here I am thinking NO her behavior is not anything abnormal or something to be praised... It is normal!!!! I think society's views on how they expect children to act are so far from the responsibility children are actually capable of is absurd. While there are some extenuating circumstances, most children are perfectly capable of sitting at a table, with a coloring book or some other quiet activity, for an hour.
I think something else that should be criticized is the parents who freak out at their small children for really no apparent reason. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a parent spank a one or two year old for crying from being tired or sick. PEOPLE one and two year olds do not need to be out watching YOU eat dinner at 8 or 9 at night. I have nothing against correcting little ones but I don't think that babies should be smacked around because of the parents lack of sound judgement. Honestly, even adults get moody and irritable when they are tired or frustrated so why would you be mad at a baby who can't control their emotions as well as some adults?
so johnny is screaming and crying because he doesn't want to be there any more than anyone else wants him to be there, but mom feels SHE shouldn't have to be the one to stay home, so she takes johnny with her and ruins it for everyone. on behalf of johnny and the rest of us, thanks a lot mommy, at least you enjoyed YOURself.
Excuse me? And just why is that child any more the mother's responsibility than s/he is the father's? Your comment started out fine and then lost all validity really quickly. Children are the joint responsibility of both a mother and a father. After all, it took two to bring them into this world. I sincerely hope you were kidding.
There is a such thing as PARENTING i know its a novel idea these days but it actually works! *gasp*. I am a mom of two my oldest is 6 youngest is 1and we have not only been out to eat several times but even went to the movies and you know happened?? we had a wonderful, civilized, breakdown free time... no glaring required because at all times i am a mom, meaning im on top of what my kids are doing before they even act. I know what their reaction will be and how to counteract it. In short im doing my job! honestly i don't like that these lazy parent who cant control the situation and refuse to teach manners and decorum make parents like me look bad. like in the DMV today m oldest was talking to another child they were fine till the other one invited her to run around... at which point i promptly told my daughter in no uncertain terms that her behavior was unacceptable, that i expect her to act the way i taught her and that now she was to sit quietly and not move until i was done. Guess what she did?? she sat her little butt down and did not move or speak until told to do so. i am all for self expression but there is a time and place that was neither the time nor the place and i was having none of it!! the other child's parents just looked on in horror as if i just slapped her when all i did was remind her of what is expected in an office setting. too bad for them they could have learned something... it is our job to teach train and mold our children it is not a choice but an obligation and parents need to wake up!
I have a child with SPD and I can tell when she's getting overwhelmed and I take her out side to chill. I think that it would be incredibly rude to keep her inside. I hate it when other people do it and I wil not let my children do it.
I am totally for this policy, by the way. I want to know where I am welcome with my guests and family, and where I am not. I also think adults should keep these policies in mind when selecting a venue. If you are eating at a "family friendly" restaurant, expect to see families there, with their young children, who may be having a bad day, hungry, tired, and reaching the 30-minute mark in waiting for their food to arrive. And yes, there are many people who have children and no clue how to parent. There are many people who have children and a very different idea of what behavior is appropriate in public than you do. If you want to avoid children, definitely select restaurants that discourage bringing them to their establishment or who refuse them service.
And folks? Don't take your kid to a bar. Seriously. It's an adult venue.
I think a general rule banning disruptive customers and maintaining/establishing your right to refuse service in order to maintain a quality atmosphere for all diners should be sufficient. I don't think it is appropriate to ban any single population of people- no matter how small.
You must have kids, and they're angels,right?
Ha. No. I don't. I just don't think you should be telling any specific population of people that they don't have rights that are provided to the general public. As others have argued, in different words, where do you draw the line?
you don't have any "rights" at a private establishment, save what that business grants you.
So, it's the kid's right to havea beer there too, right?
I also think they should focus more on behavior. I like the sign in NC that says no screaming child or adult– which means children are allowed but not the screaming. Also– putting an age banned isn't fair to all the parents who have perfectly well-behaved children.
I'm still trying to figure out if it's proper to eat small children with the fingers when out in public . . . are they finger food or would they be considered an entree?
Depends on the size and age of the child, and how you prefer them prepared.
Like a coworker of mine says "I love kids, I just can't finish a whole one."
The noise is annoying. The behaviour is disruptive. I don't like it. But to me, the most difficult part is seeing the danger unrestricted children – and the servers serving them – are in when children are uncontrolled in restaurants. I am a former food server, and I know that servers carrying trays filled with heavy plates holding steaming hot food and beverages, ceramic platewear, glasses, sharp knives, etc. across restaurants, cannot oftentimes see the children jumping out at them, children crawling on the floor where they can't be seen by servers walking by, children playing hide-and-seek and hiding crouched in the little exit area from the kitchen (or even the coffee nook where the coffee is prepared and poured) that servers exit to-and-from the kitchen with; all the while their parents either ignoring the situation entirely and/or smiling indulgent grins at the server. These children, and the server, could be horribly maimed, scarred, and/or killed if a server tripped over a child(ren). And the parents could sue after their child is maimed or killed, of course, but their child would still have to live with the scars and the pain and the fear, if s/he lived, as would the hapless server just trying to do his/her job. Where would those indulgent smiles be, then? I wish the parents who don't take responsiblity in restaurants (and to give credit where it's due, many do) would take responsibility in restaurants, because I don't want see anyone hurt because a family-night-out turns into a nightmaare for everyone involved. If I don't want to deal with children, I exert my personal power to choose, and choose restaurants that are not family-friendly. I'd like to believe that in a country plagued by obesity, that there are enough restaurants of both the family-friendly and non-family-friendly varieties to serve all of us, without anyone's child paying for the privilage with his/her future.
This reminded me of something that happened to me ten years ago. I had an after-school job at IHOP as a hostess. As most people know, IHOP is "family friendly" and there's never a day that passes that there isn't a screaming child. On one particular night, I was helping the busboys clear the tables after a rush. I was standing by a bus station, filling a bin with dirty dishes, just minding my own business, when of to my left I catch sight of an older infant (I'm guessing 9-10 months) wiggly so much in his high-chair that it was beginning to tip precariously. THE PARENTS WERE PAYING HER NO ATTENTION. In the blink of an eye the high chair topples over, the mother rushes to the screaming infant then looks up at me and yells, "Why didn't you catch her?!". I was stunned! Not only because an infant just made a good four foot (or more) drop to the ground, but because the mother had the audacity to question me, a sixteen year old girl, why *I* wasn't better at watching her child for her. I looked her point blank in the eye and said, "Because I'm not paid to be YOUR babysitter." and walked off.
I quit shortly after that and haven't stepped foot into an IHOP since.
Most bad experiences that I have had in a restaurant were due to parents ignoring noisy, unruly children. I was in a restaurant with my mother (who I only get to see a few times a year) for dinner recently and in the booth across from us were 6 adults. Behind us was a booth full of children separated from the parents who were noisy and would run up and down the aisle banging into the tables and patrons along the way. The parents completely ignored the children and when I looked over at the parents after one of the children bumped into me, expecting at least an aplogy from the parents, not one of the adults would even make eye contact.....and their table was only four feet away!! It was obvious the parents wanted to have a nice dinner out with their friends without the expectation of actually having to control their children's behavior (otherwise known as "parenting"). If this had been a restaurant designed with kids in mind then I would have expected the kids to be running around and making noise but this was a steak restaurant and I had wanted to have a nice dining experience with my mother.
I totally support restaurants taking a stand on children's behavior inside a restaurant that is not designed to be a kid's playground. Restaurant managers/owners would not have to do so if the parents were taking responsbility for their kids in the first place. If your children are mature enough to enjoy a more formal style of restaurant then I welcome them to be there. If they are not, then please do not bring the kids. There are many restaurants designed for family dining or, more specifically, for kids.....just look for "family dining" or "chuk e" in the name.
Did you even read the comment Katie made, because your reply has nothing to do with what she wrote.
Above comment appears in wrong place (par for the course, CNN).
50 + years ago, when I was a "child" this was a "non" issue. If you didn't behave in a public place the only "choices" you were given was where did you want your whooping....right there in the restaurant or out in the parking lot......it was bad enough if you got "the look". Today's children are coddled and made to believe the sun rises and sets around them....newsflash...it doesn't! Parents need to take full responsibility for their children...I raised mine and they didn't dare disrupt or disrespect anyone...especially when we were in public. It worked for them and it's working for each of their 12 kids. No one was beat, no one was abused but they were not allowed to do what kids now days get away with.
HELL YEAH!! I love your comment!!! My folks were the same way and I grew up fine and now my boy is just fine due to the old school up bringing I have done all thanks to my parents and there parents b4 them and so on.
I do not have children. But I do think they should have a section if you have very young children. I also think if it is a bar that serves food children have no business being there and if they are then it is the parents fault. If it says no children in a casual resturant then I would not go because I do not think it is right. But Parents should should be smart enough if a child really is being bad and screaming then get them out of there get take out and leave. This is not the childs fault at all but the parents.
I know as children we had better be good in a place we were taken to eat if not we knew what was going to happen to us. So we always were good. Kids get away with murder today and I mean murder. Parents do not care what their childern do.
As a father of 1, uncle of many nieces and nephews, and frequent business traveler/restaurant diner, I've learned a thing or two about restaurants and children. Parents, here is a news flash for you. children under the age of about 5 or 6 DO NOT ENJOY eating at a restaurant and all of the waiting, sitting still, and keeping quiet that proper public dining etiquiette requires. SO, if you have a child under 6, do everyone including yourself a favor and hire a sitter or get it to-go.
For older children, clearly explain what is expected of them before you go and at the first sign of bad behavior quickly and quietly exit the restaurant while your spouse or significant other pays the bill and politely asks the wait staff to pack up your food to take home. You will only have to to do this 2 or 3 times before your child gets the mssage that such misbehavior won't be tolerated
To Brian in PA – as a mother of two young children, I have to totally dispute that children under 6 do not like eating out. Both my children understand that eating in a restaurant is a treat, it is the only time they get to choose the meal they fancy regardless of what the rest of the family are eating, and they enjoy the social family time. They get excited when we announce that we are eating out, especially if they are allowed to help choose where we go. We do go to family restaurants such as Applebees, O'Charleys, Fridays or Mexican for example and they love the experience. We have always gone armed with age appropriate distractions incase a meal turned out to be more lengthy than expected, taught our kids what is expected of them and always made them clean up their mess before we leave and thank the wait staff. It is all about parental guidance, and you can make eating out with even young children a fun experience for all including those around you. In fact, I couldn't imagine trying to do it for the first time with a 7 plus year old.... what a waste of 6 years of family life and so many precious family memories would have been missed. We started eating out when they were a few weeks old and have never stopped since!
OOOOO... "so many precious memories" blah,blah,blah.Gimme a break.
First, I don't think you can make a blanket statement on behalf of all children about their dining preferences. Second, how do you think children over 6 learn to behave so well in restaurant? Just because your child turns 6 does not mean they are magically ready to embrace social edict and enjoy dining out. Besides, what about those who are not fortunate enough to have a significant other? So you suggest a different age limit for single parents? Also, your ingenious parenting tactics won't work for all children. Some children see making a disturbance as a way to get what they want. You will teach these children that if they want to go home or if they don't like where they are/ situation they are in, throw a fit. It doesn't teach them patience, how they should behave in a social environment, or an acceptable/appropriate way to express their concerns or feelings.
As an owner of what the locals call a "fine dining establishment" in Bainbridge Island, WA, I too enforce a policy against disruptive customers. People don't realize that the higher cost of eating out not only accounts for the food, but is also that of the atmosphere, the experience if you will. Restaurant owners don't want people to just pay for food, no, because if people were just there for the food, then they would be eating at places like McDonald's, or Shari's, or some other swill like that. Now, while we may not be as fancy as places like the Metropolitan in Seattle, we ask that all of the guests adhere to the same rules our staff does: Be courteous, respectful, and mind your surroundings. Since we have a sign that says "Please, no children under 13", there is rarely a time when we have to deal with unruly children; however, that being said, that doesn't stop parents (of who we later must ask to leave) from insisting their children are angels, only to find out that the little rugrat tripped a waitress while running around. After having one of my staff ask her to leave, they made such a scene, and to their chagrin, other customers (Locals, long time patrons, and even some of the business crowd I get in after the Ferry rush) actually stood up and asked them to leave too. Now, being a gentleman, (and since they ate half of their meal...), I offered to buy them a giftcard to Burger King. The look on her face was priceless, and totally worth the price of them never coming in again and buying the cheapest items off of the menu.
Now, that's not to say that we discriminate against people who don't make as much as others, but that is to say that we openly discriminate against people who are likely, will, or are currently in the process of creating problems to other diners. And when an eatery is established, coming back to the idea of atmosphere, they always have a key audience. Screaming kids is just not mine.
In addition, we maintain a list of customers that we champion as a "Newsletter" service, but also acts as a database which tells us their favorite foods, when they come in, and how they rated our service. Before privacy people explode on me, please realize this is to make sure we have sufficient stock when a large number of people come in, normally ordering the same dish, such as the aforementioned business crowd. In addition, this also allows us to make note of unruly customers. It costs almost nothing to maintain, I was able to set it up in an hour, and so far it's blocked several known...miscreants...from causing a ruckus and distracting us from the waterfront view and subtle lighting.
@ Perilous
I'm so thrilled there are still proprietors such as yourself out there. If I ever find myself on Bainbridge Island (I live in Seattle), I'll be sure to eat at your establishment!
Thank you for putting the needs of the many considerate diners over the needs of the few inconsiderate ones. Were I in your area I would absolutely frequent your establishment.
If it's just the loud, annoying noise that is the issue then the list of people banned must get larger. As mentioned earlier, people who answer their cell phone during dinner. The people who have too much liquor and decide that their raucous laughter is just good fun, but it's still loud, annoying noise. (Actually drunks and children are very similar; loud, need attention, and a tendency to soil themselves). And we can't forget those people who just speak loudly or laugh in an obnoxious manner. I don't see these restaurants banning any of these people, so what really is their issue?
Because their is a supposedly responsible adult that should be handling the situation and I have seen drunks asked to quiet down or leave.
so you're saying you would rather sit next to an adult acting like a child then a child acting like a child?
so you're saying you would rather sit next to an adult acting like a child then a child acting like a child? and that their is a difference between the two?
so you're saying you would rather sit next to an adult acting like a child then a child acting like a child? and that there is a difference between the two?
First– the expected behavior depends on what kind of establishment you visit. Some places don't allow people to come in with sandals, talk on the phone and a drunk person would certainly be asked to leave. This is of course more common at fine dining places which is where most people get irritated by the behavior of children.
But even in places that are a bit more moderate- if it's geared towards adults, then customers might be expecting other adult behavior (cell phones, obnoxious laughter and so on), but a screaming child, running all around the place is not one of them. Cell phones are annoying, but unfortunately is an expected norm now– and "obnoxious" laughter is hardly something people can complain about and doesn't compare to child throwing a tantrum. With the exception of a possible drunk (and it would have to be really bad), nothing really compares to a toddler throwing a tantrum. And Most places will throw out a drunk who is being obscene.
Well when your raising a family I think that is to be expectd. When my girls acted up I took them to the bathroom and popped them. Try that today and a people like a lot of you I'm sure will be the first to call family services because you have to put your nose into everybodies business. I'm not saying don't go out and have a nice dinner I'm saying go a little later whe most of the little critters are in bed. If that doesn't work for you then haven a nice romantic dinner at home. Quit whining.
That is the oldest excuse in the book–people will call the cops if I discipline my kid. Not to mention the attitude –stay home if you don't like my kid. This is the prime example of what is wrong in our kidcentric soiety. Other people matter just as much as your kid.
i own cave me no like go out if cause me to interact with other hope no one come to cave
good.
Well this is really what we call chaos and we can blame the boomer/hippies for this mindset that has spread throughout this country like a ravaging disease. They wanted to be free and do anything that they wanted without authority and respecting anyone else. Instead, they felt that we are right, no matter what we think. While other countries have stayed on course through decades of teaching their kids values and respect toward one another, we've allowed ourselves to be poisoned with lies and half-truths beginning in the 60s. Now nearly 50 years later, this forum proves that it's a mess. One woman says left, the other says right. One guy says no, the other says yes. This is what we deserve by abdicating ourselves to that stupid hippie mantra and flag waving so many years ago and now we're paying the price.
Ok, now how about banning cell phone use. I find people talking on cell phones more irritating than kids crying. Most people don't seem to understand how loud they are talking when talking on a cell phone. If they are quietly talking, that's okay with me.
Any type of loud and disruptive behavior has no place in a restaurant, including crying and disruptive children. People go to restaurants to get out of their ordinary environment where they are more inclined to have a conversation with each other. It is difficult to do this with disruptive behavior occurring.
I think that if crying kids are banned then all obnoxious people should be. Personally I find our drunken,obnoxious, no manner having idiots of this generation far more offensive than a crying child.... the CHILD can't help it......
The crying baby may not be able to help it, but the parents that chose to eat out can. All they need to do is take the kid OUTSIDE until they're quiet. It says a lot about how people have NO CLASS AND NO MANNERS if they need to be asked to do that. They should be ashamed.
right on Blythe
i would argue that most obnoxious people can't control their behavior either... and drunks? certainly not. A crying baby can be soothed- I can't argue the same for the obnoxious or drunk.
People who get drunk at restaurants are also asked to either keep it down or leave. Maaany times I've seen the manager ask a roudy group of people to please keep it down "or we'll have to ask you to leave." So your "drunks" argument is kinda pointless.
As for cell phone use, many restaurants do have signs that ask customers to please take their calls in the foyer or outside. Now, I'm not sure if this is goes on at places that have a day of the week in the name, but family owned, small, with a wonderful atmosphere do want to keep the business of those of us who respect others enough to be mindful that others are there to unwind and have a good time.
Knowing how to behave while dining at a restaurant begins with knowing how to behave during dinner at home. Dinner is for sitting and eating. You entertain yourself by talking to those around you. You do not leave your seat. You do not run around. You enjoy the company of your family and friends. However, if these rules aren't being enforced at home, or, as I suspect in many cases, aren't even addressed because meals are taken in front of the tv, how do we expect children to magically figure them out in the excitement of a restaurant?
Children, even very young children, are capable of this. There's a lot of talk about lazy parents, sure, but I think another problem is that our society doesn't give kids a lot of credit these days. We're quick to assume that kids CAN'T do something, so we quickly give up trying. It's not magic, it's effort (on the part of the children AND the adults).
That said, I completely agree with a restaurant's decision to serve adults only. Teaching about dining behavior can happen at home and at family-friendly places. (Aside – one of the best dinner conversations I've had recently happened with a 3 year old who HAD been taught how to dine, both at home and in public. I learned a lot about fish.)
I agree with that, however I am not so sure that banning children is the answer... if it is an adult only atmosphere indeed.. but if you clearly serve families or advertise as a family orientated-type business (or blatantly have a childs menu...) then I would assume that people going in would before hand realize that children could be there and expect whatever may come with that lol.what about personal responsibility which no one seems to take anymore and likes to blame everyone else.. When does someones personal choice infringe upon someone elses... and vice versa.. I think that is the question people are getting at now...discrimination vrs rules.. two different things.. unfortunately there are people that use the rules to discriminate also.. thus we are back in the same vicious cycle and debate ha! This could go on forever....but as far as it being the children in general.. I think we are all asking the wrong questions..
Not all young children are capable of sitting for the length of a meal eaten out, where food had to be ordered, prepared, served, then eaten. However, keeping a child in your assigned space at a restaurant is something that is very important. We actually did a lot of practicing and use of social stories when my special needs child was younger. We did allow him to stand (we have never figured out why he could not eat when sitting), but he had to stay in our space- so we usually just had his chair removed.
Don't worry, we were still accosted. Apparently having a child stand at a table is a carnal sin for some folks- ones sitting all the way across the room.
True story...a family sitting at a table behind us either could not, or would not make their 6 or so year old sit in his seat, use his inside voice, nor prevent him from using his spoon to lauch green beans around the restaurant...After he splatted green beens on the back of my uncles neck for the second time, my uncle turned in his father (?) and asked that the boy not do it again...The father said nothing, and the mother said, "He didn't mean to his YOU."...this is not only inconsiderate...it is ignorant...and it is an infliction...parents who too distracted, self-interested, ignorant, and lazy to parent loose their spawn on us all...they are a large part of what is wrong in our educational system...their children bully, disrepect teachers, lack motivation and discipline, and are ignorant, cruel, and vacuous...all due to the negligence of their parents...
You are soooo right, LynD! As an educator, I can say that based on personal experience. You would not believe some of the stories I could tell you..........and every year it gets worse and worse. Many of the parents that I meet have no business ever having a child-their complete lack of and total disregard for parenting skills has ruined an entire generation of children. Just today one of my students related to me that his mother told him it was stupid for a teacher to actually assign homework and expect it to be done everyday, and told him not to do it. I called her during recess to confirm, and guess what-–she told me that too! No kidding! Just because you CAN have children doesn't mean you SHOULD!
AMEN !!!!!
I shouldn't have to deal with loud talking people or people that wear too much perfume/cologne also.
I shouldn't have to deal with rude people who smell,period.
dumb parents are why this is even a topic. It personally doesnt bother me.... kids running around the restaurant is worse
I'll never forget the day I took my young autistic child to a Friendly's and had a complete stranger cross the room and start yelling at me to leave. My child was not crying, screaming, or even talking. Our offense from across the room? My child preferred to stand to eat. So he was standing next to the table, instead of sitting in a chair. What some people consider "disturbing" can be... well, disturbing.
Im betting there is a lot more to the incident than you claim.
Unfortunately, no. That's why it sticks so clearly in my mind. Its one thing to be asked to leave a store because your child is having a meltdown; we find that perfectly understandable. But having another patron come ream us out from across the room? His rant was more disturbing to other diners than my child quietly eating his applesauce in a corner.
Agree. I think Joe'smom is fibbing.
Can't believe this happens? Maybe you should do some volunteer work for your local school, in the special education rooms. Just go once a month a read a book to the self-contained kindergarden, and listen to what the kids and teachers are doing and saying and dealing with. Then come back and think about this incident. It isn't rare.
Ever try to eat with someone standing nearby? It's rude and nerve-racking to someone trying to enjoy a meal. You should know better. I don't blame them for saying something. Apparently they needed to say something because you didn't know better. Your kid wants to stand while eating? Fine, take him/her outside or eat at home. It's just plain rude & inconsiderate to everyone else.
Really? Do you have trouble eating near people in wheelchairs, too? Even if they are in a corner, not in the aisle, and across the room from you, not the next table? We were perfectly aware that others would not want him standing next to them, but the answer was always so simple, especially in Friendly's- ask for the corner table, and remove his chair so that he was next to me and no one else (and not in the aisle, where he might trip up a server trying to get their job done). Are you really THAT insensitive to the needs of others and special needs? Well, I shouldn't be surprised. We run up against it all the time, everywhere- people who think that those even slightly different from them should be locked up and kept home, not brought into public places, and should be allowed to enjoy living their lives like everyone else.
agree, if it is so nerve wracking to you to have someone eating their meal while standing nearby, then perhaps the problem is with you. What a delicate snowflake! How do you survive modern life if anything out of the ordinary is so disturbing to you?
Seriously?! How do you get through life if you get agitated about something so trivial. I probably wouldn't even notice if a kid was standing and eating.
maybe you have undiagnosed special needs if something so insignificant, that really doesn't affect your life, bothers you so much...
I think there are parents out there that seem to feel that because they think their kids are adorable everyone else is obligated to feel the same way. I am a parent of 3 and I know my kids could all be poster kids for birth control at times. SO IT IS "MY" RESPONSIBLITY to maintain some sembalance of order and respect when in public. These blessings were my choice and not the persons in the booth next to me. I love my children, however please forgive me for not thinking your kids are the most extraordinary things since sliced bread. Please be a parent and be accountable as much for thier acomplishments as well as their bad behavior. It is simply called PARENTING, you are not entitled to a peacefull, responsibliity free evening at my expense. I will also show you the same courtsey when my children act up. I will take them away from others and handle the situation accordinly in the least disturbing way possible. Including leaving if the situation called for it. If more parents would excerise this courtsey to others, everyone parents and patrons alike would be happier and estabilishments would not have to have these silly restrictions. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR "OWN" CHILDREN. People love their kids, not yours. Just saying......
amen
Well said, Jake, well said. I wish there were more (true) parents like you.
I think that restaurants should first decide whether they wish to admit children to its guests. If they even have a high chair in their furniture inventory, they had better be prepared to deal with children. Children are a handful and also make danger for themselves. These restaurants that admit children need to be prepared. Crying is such a small deal when it comes to infants. So, the restaurant needs to decide if it is a family restaurant and will admit small children or if it is one of those 5-star posh date restaurants (normally pre-kids). If the latter, then they should say so. The family can then go somewhere else and enjoy themselves. Also, children cry when they are in distress. The parents do not need additonal anxiety about being asked to leave because of a crying child.
No, People are responsible for whatever they bring to the environment. If they bring a child who intrudes on others, they need to take that child and leave. They are not entitled to enjoy a restaurant or whatever, if they are destroying others' ability to enjoy it.
I wait tables.
It never ceases to amaze me how parents allow thier kids to scream, yell, run around, smear food all over windows, chairs, walls...play with sugar and salt and pepper. We wind up throwing product in the trash and spend 4 times the amount of time it should take to clean the table...and oh God, the floor!! Then they leave a 10% tip.
People, we are not there to clean up after your kids, or to herd them back to your tables. That's YOUR responsibility. It's a danger to everyone to allow them to wander where people are carrying hot food and coffee pots.
Other people don't pay good money to have their meals ruined by your undisciplined kids.
smrn
My kids not screaming or running around. If they don't behave I remove them from the dining room. BUT since I'm paying 300-400$ for dinner and leave 20% tip at least I allow them to play with salt,pepper,sugar etc. It's waiter/bus boy job to clean the table after us, what for I leave 60$ tip for an hour?
You can't even properly list US $, so doubtful you tip at all.
I am really good in math though:) Anf question is not tips if you remembe but kids. Don't judge...
I can't tell whether or not you're a troll. You can't buy manners. You may be willing to leave a $60 tip for the servers, but the couple next to your little brat, who save up each month for a babysitter so they can get some time alone, doesn't see your generosity. Please tell me you seriously don't believe children should be allowed to fling condiments around because you pay for the privilege. I can imagine what your kids are going to be like when - if - they ever grow up. We reap what we sow.
what manners you expect from 2 y.o.?Eating with fork and knife?give me a break.she sits quietly and eat few sugar bags-I don't see how it's anybody's business. And I pay high tips just because it's additional work for a waiter. But I don't see how it is going to spoil my kids.
Thank goodness you're good at math. You can't spell, but you're good at math!
having some keyboard problems – sorry. Meant to say, "amen."
Stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. How about all of us "disrupting" parents stop eating out at restaurants period and see how fast these places go under water. Its parents like us who keep these places a float and kids are part of life. Us as parents never know how our kids will react to specific environments and many times its a crap shoot. I'd love for some 17 year old kid whos a waiter to come up to me at a restaurant and tell me I have to leave cause my kids is upset. Many more pressing issues going on in this world the news sites should be focusing on. How about a story on why gas prices are going up daily?
Take responsibility for being a bad parent.
Yours is a stupid comment, buddy. Your kids are your responsibility. If they start to yell, you need to get them out of the restaurant. Nobody else is paying for the opportunity to be annoyed by your children. Control them, or get out.
Promises promises.
Bill, you are clearly one of "those" parents. Hope you enjoy fast food because, thanks to your refusal to teach your children to be courteous to others and exercise some self-restraint, this trend of banning children will continue until Mickey Dee is the only establishment that welcomes you. Obviously you were never schooled in basic manners or common courtesy yourself, or you are a troll.
You're obviously a lazy & crappy parent. Start saving now for bail money – you'll need it for your little darlings in a few short years.
good point. i'm in a similar situation. i have a farting disorder and it's really loud and smelly and i don't care if it ruins people's dinner, i'm still going to the restaurant. why should i be the one to have to eat at home, especially when it's unpredictable and can't be controlled?
Btw, they do talk about sky-rocketing gas prices daily. Its called the news, might want to check it out. As for these businesses being kept afloat by your kind; you must be deluded.
Just recently we dined at a nice restaurant in Downtown Austin on a Saturday night. Our reservation was at 8pm...we were seated and had just ordered our appetizers when a big group came in and they place a HIGH CHAIR at the end of the table, right under my elbow. The family proceeded to come in bits and pieces and then the part of the family with the 18 months old who was in the middle of learning to SCREETCH was seated about 16 inches from us. After paying for our 100 dollar bottle of wine and another 100 in apps we left. This is just wrong on so many levels...it was after that child's bed time, on a saturday night, in a crowded restaurant that you need a reservation for. Why would anyone feel like it was appropriate to bring a toddler into this situation. I am sure we were not the only people who left. The fact that this restaurant even had a high chair was odd since they do not open til 5pm and their entrees are mostly in the over 30.00 range.
What makes your $100 better than the person next to you just because you don't have a kid??? If you don't want to deal with disruptive people then cook dinner at home. What happens if a mentally challenged person gets seated next to you? Do you complain about them? Ridiculous.
I think the point here is: it was a fancy restaurant (example was the expensive wine and appetizers). Why would you take a baby/toddler somewhere like that, especially so late? There are casual restaurants and fancy restaurants. When you go to a casual one, you recognize there may be children. When you go to a fancy one, frankly you assume there won't be children.
If they can afford to eat at a place like that, then they can afford to hire a baby sitter and not ruin other diners experience by inflicting their brat upon them. Small children dont enjoy the experience, the only reason it is there is because of some narcissistic parent wants them there. Leave your f-k kids at home.
You are a self-absorbed, self-indulgent idiot. You and your offspring do not have the right to ruin my evening just because you exist.
Who are you to say what time someone else's child should or should not eat or go to bed? You have no idea what their schedule is or what their day was like. Besides, if you don't like the situation you're in, then change it... leave. Life is unpredictable, sometimes it doesn't meet your expectations, other times it exceeds them; that's the beauty of it.
Just stop seating families with children under 10 after 6:30pm. If you want to eat in peace, arrive after 8.
Ban the kids right after you ban the lousy parents that think "I really don't want to contain my child's creativity and ability to express themselves". Same as on an airplane. Gimme a break.
I have a VERY powerful/loud voice, if I am in a expencive place and there are rude loud children, I get ten times as loud and actually scream SHUT UP! If that don't work, then I try SHUT THE F*CK UP! The I usually want as much money as I can get off my bill and then walk out. I will only stay if the staff removes the people with the children. We have rules at our country club and that is GREAT!
I don't care if you get mad,, to all the morons who say is wrong ....When I go to a restaurant is to eat and enjoy dinner that is why I pay for it! to morons there How do you feel having a nice dinner and kids starting crying screaming? do you really will enjoy the dinner? I have 3 children, when they were little they know how to behave...this is the parents fault and they expect us to pay for the bad behaviour consequences? It is frustrating trying to have a nice conversation and it is not fair for us whohav eto deal with tamtrums !I am glad this is happening it should be a law. Spoiled Brats don't belong in restaurants.Meals are expensive and to go and deal with this kind of nuisanse is not acceptable! I can't believe parents don't have someone to take care just for couple of hours it is worth it.
I am a parent of school age kids who are well beyond crying years. Very young children have good days and bad. If they are crying in public- that doesn't mean their parents are 'bad parents' or are 'afraid to be parents.' Patience and love towards one's own children is far more valuable in the long run than pleasing nearby adults who don't like kids. Recently a very young child I didn't know grabbed something from my shopping cart. The mother slapped her child's hand, causing the child to cry- and then the mother looked at me for approval. I was about to tell the sweet kid that the mistake was no big deal. Kids respond to love from their own parents, not parents who are afraid of the judgement of other adults.
@ a parent...fully agree with everything you say. HOWEVER, if your little darling is ruining the dinner of those around you, stop being so selfish and remove the child from the dining room! My husband and I spent many meals out eating alone because our first was very mercurial in temperament and we enjoyed dining out. When you or one of yours is creating the problem, it is YOUR responsibility to fix it. We would each take turns taking her out while the other ate in peace. If you are unwilling to do this for the basic courtesy of allowing other patrons to enjoy their dinner, then you should stay home.
as a regular diner, i understand that at times a child may have a slight tantrum, or a little outburst that can be rectified easily. however, there is a line that has been crossed when that child is inconsolate, screaming, throwing things, and basically making a nightmare out of the dining experience for other diners and the wait staff; and the parents simply sit there and tell the child, in a calm voice, that they should consider their actions. that is poor parenting at best. those paying for a restaurant atmosphere are not there to listen to your unruly child whom you refuse to parent. love is great, but when they are disrespectful and disrupting in public the parent must take action.
Thank you for posting this. The last sentance really struck a cord with me. Made me realize that (at times) I focus more on how others are going to judge my parenting than what is really in my child's best interest.
If you are not controlling your child so that it is behaving acceptably in polite company, then whatever you're doing is not in your child's "best interests."
My company has developed a solution that satisfies both sides in this debate. We make a high chair that sends mild electrical shocks to the user when his or her volume level exceeds a whisper. Please visit us at www dot quietbaby dot com.
for use in public places, it should send a sizeable jolt to the parents.
Some people do not seem to understand that when they are in a restaurant the other diners do not find their children's loud and disruptive antics as cute as they do.
Interestingly, I also don't care to listen to your loud adult conversation about your sex life, your cellphone conversation, or the noises you make when you eat. Kids aren't the only problems in restaurants. Obnoxious people are everywhere.
One doesn't pay hard earned money to listen to someone else's children throw tantrums, or to be distracted from their own meals and chosen company while they run around the dining room.
you need to be banned from this page you racist. what does race have anything to do with this? im pretty sure she would voice here opinion , youd say something and then get your ass kicked. please shut the hell up. no one cares what your racist ass has to say.
this was in response to 'youallarefools' response to 'sheena'
I live in Northern Virginia. While my husband, 2 year-old son, and I frequently patronize "family-friendly" restaurants, we do it around 6-7 p.m....to avoid the dreaded grumpiness that comes from an tired toddler. However, when I want to dine at 9 p.m., enjoy a glass of pinot noir, and have a date with my husband, I hire a sitter. That means we suck up the $15 per hour cost...sitters truly are outrageous these days....to enjoy some alone adult time. The last thing anyone wants to hear in these types of establishments is a whining baby or toddler. It's common sense. Parents, do yourselves and the other patrons a favor and treat yourselves to a sans-baby night. Your fellow diners, not to mention your relationship, will thank you!
right on!
I agree with some of this – chain resturants would have a decidedly difficult time with enforcing a limitation,or ban on children, but I do agree that "Fine Dining" should be reserved. Perfect example was that my Husband and I went to a nice resturant on Valentines day, and halfway through our meal, three children came in; we heard them before we saw them, and the Owner immediately removed them. But for 5 minutes there was a screaming toddler. I have 2 children, one who is 2 1/2 years old. I would NOT take him to that resturant.
I don't generally go to movies any more because the other people are morons...the last 5 consecutive times I'd gone I had to bark at some idiot on a cell phone while the movie was playing either talking or holding up a bright screen in my face to look at text messages. They need to called out and thrown out. Parents who let kids run around in a restaurant...tell them to take their business elsewhere. Then the absurd comment I always get when pointing out someone is already breaking a known rule, smoking where they shouldn't or something else....'well you could've asked politely'...NO I'm not going to ask politely...your attitude and actions already stated a big FU to everyone you're bothering...you need to have your az kicked so you don't do it ever again.
Ridiculous, kids are part of our life. And kids will be kids. Restaurants unless categorized as adults (!) only need to be able to handle all kind of kids just like they handle all kind of adult customers.
Ummm...I'm fairly sure that's what this entire article is about. Restaurants categorizing themselves as "adults only". Didn't you read the article?
The kids aren't the problem...it's the idiot parents who don't know any better. In most cases the 2yos are smarter and in charge of the adutls.
Actually, it is parents who should be handling "all kind of children," not restaurants.
Unless we have chosen to be parents, and are in that state now, kids are NOT part of "our" life. If they are in public, they need to be properly supervised. No one should be subjected to someone else's inappropriately uncontrolled child.
bombs away
uh oh!
Ban all babies especially my sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Parents to not have a 'right' to impose their ill-mannered children on others in any business. It makes no difference to anyone that your particular child has special needs or any other circumstance that would tend to mitigate the bad behavior in the parents eyes. That is the parents problem and no, the public doesn't have to 'get over it' or 'deal with it', that is the parents job, and the parents job alone. YOU deal with it. If that means leaving your child at home then do it. If you don't have anyone to look after your little darling them you stay home too. Your choice to have kids and your choice how to raise them. That comes with responsibility. To parents everywhere that bother to raise well mannered children I salute you. The rest can go to Chucky Cheese.
What about adults with special needs or bad behavior? Discrimination against people with special needs is rampant in this society. People still expect you to lock your loved one away, instead of allowing them to learn how to behave in public the way that is most effective- by taking them out in public.
Shall we also have restaunts put up signs that say, "if your disability involves vocal tics, please do not eat here"?
And you don't have a "right" to impose your glaring in my direction either. You know, it wasn't that many years ago when people with non-white skin couldn't eat in certain restaurants either. White people didn't want to sit next to "them". Now it's kids. All this whining from adults spending their hard-earned money at a restaurant with kids. Really?? Is a parents money not hard-earned, too? Only yours, right? Your money and your dining experience and what YOU want. Come on, people. If you want a quiet dinner, learn how to cook it and eat it in your own dinning room! Do you really think that keeping all children quarantined at McDonald's and Chuck-E-Cheese will be a suitable place to learn how to behave in a restaurant? What happens when they grow up? That's what we have now. Self-entitled, spoiled adults raised by their hippie parents who thought it was "cool" to not spank or impose rules on their children. These are the adults commenting here. And the kids you want to ban from restaurants (and who knows where else it would lead) will be the ones taking care of you when you are old because YOU have no kids of your own.
That's why whenever we want to go out for dinner with our three kids (6,4,3) we always choose a restaurant that has kind of a kids club, there are nannies that give them their dinner, a clown, videogames and crafts. So we are able to dine out peacefully, and our kids have a great time too. Of course I don't live in the US, and I don't think there are any restaurants like these one there.
It is frustrating to me that the article makes no distinction from a distressed infant vs. an older child who is purposly being rude/disrespectful (and parents are looking the other way). As a mother with a two year old with a difficult temperment this article, and the comments, were very upsetting. Apparenly if I have the audacity to bring my daughter in public there is no escape from the judgmental eyes of those that think they would make superior parents.
Children with temperament problems have problem parents. Keep them both at home until they are taught by somebody, somewhere, sometime how to behave in public. A restaurant is not a training ground for raising children properly.
To southern raised right,
Yes, our children today are not the children of yesterday, and there are both good and bad reasons for that. I get the sense you may have been raised in a family where children were allowed to be seen but not heard. My adopted son is autistic, and many a time I have had to escort him out of places, and I believe it should be that way. No one needs their dinner disturbed by any kind of disruption. But to automatically call the parent with a problem child a problem parent is rude and judgmental, and I think your post is highly insulting. OVERALL, there are several comments on this site that clearly show the writers could care less about children. It isn't as simple as children today just being spoiled brats. We are in a transition, learning how to handle children without having to hurt and insult them. It is possible because I have helped many parents succeed at it. It is going to take a while, but in the mean time please remember, they are children and they must be taught. They don't learn everything automatically, and that includes self-control. And remember too, they are the next generations, and could end up taking care of you in your bitter old age. And even you all could end up in one of those parents' shoes, and what goes around comes around. And by the way, I have seen many southern children misbehave.
The article makes no distinction from a distressed infant vs. an older child who is purposly being rude/disrespectful because there IS no distinction to the other diners whose meals you are disrupting.
As a mother with a two year old with a difficult temperment, you should be prepared to cut your meals short, get a babysitter or wait until your child is older instead of subjecting others to your child's "growing pains".
Yes, if you have the audacity to bring your daughter to a restaurant where manners, courtesy & decorum are a fair expectation and she cries, there is no escape from the judgmental eyes of those that think they would make superior parents. Not because they think your child's crying is a reflection of your parenting skills, but because your lack of awareness of how inappropriate a 2 year old's behavior is within that particular setting.
In this case, "superior parents" don't necessarily have better behaved kids – they are better behaved PARENTS who have the common sense & comment courtesy not to subject others to their kids.
A temperamental child in public is one thing. Knowingly taking a child to a nicer restaurant, then ignoring their temper tantrums is another. I think that's the key difference about this article. Do I judge a parent with a screaming kid at the grocery store? I'll wish they'd take the kid outside till she/he calms down, but I'm only mildly annoyed- it's just as easy for me to leave the aisle as it is for them to leave. Do I judge a parent with a screaming kid at a restaurant? If they just let the kid sit there and scream, yes. If they do nothing to calm the kid or take the kid outside, yes. If a kid screams and the parent tries to calm them down, fair enough, no worries.
I wish I could erase my comment. NotAMomma said it far better.
I agree NotAMomma did a good job, but your comment was good, too.
Lol! I like your response too :)
(I admit I'm biased, since you agreed with me!)
You're right – there is no distinction. The entire point is that there are times when adults would like to dine without having their meal disrupted by ANY children. In response to that, a niche market has developed to provide such a place. There is no push to ban all children from all restaurants. However, the point is being consistently (and persistently) made that responsible parents should remove their disruptive children from ANY dining area in respect to other patrons. Just because a restaurant is "kid-friendly" it doesn't excuse a parent from controlling their children. Non-stop screaming and rowdy behavior isn't welcome anywhere.
let's go after cell phones next....they should be turned off or on vibrate when in a public place....if you HAVE to take the call, go outside......we don't want to hear your business
Actually I would rather have the annoying cell phones banned before kids. Hearing the non stop rings, beeps, tweets, and 'stage whispers' are far more distracting to a dinner than most children.
Such a great idea!!! My kids are not saints, but they know when we got out to eat they are to behave! Literally people compliment them all the time for their behavior and manners! I need a break from cooking sometimes, and my kids know not to ruin that for my husband and me! I wish more parents laid down the rules with their kids for behavior in public!
totally agree with your post, and only wish that other people who bring their ill-behaved brats into public places got it.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I travel for 4 to 6 months during the summer, living in hotels and eating almost every meal in restaurants. It happens way more often than people who don't eat out as much as myself would believe. I have a child, and when she was small she knew that if she acted out in public we would immediately go outside until she could behave, that there would be no desserts, not toys and nothing else nice for her for the rest of whatever outing we were on. Your screaming brat is only special to you, the rest of us don't care and aren't willing to pay for the experience. We want our nice quiet meal. I gladly patronize restaurants that have firm policies for screaming children to be immediately removed.
YES!!!!
Totally agree. My 26 & 22 year old sons absolutely knew how to behave in public restaurants when they were toddlers. They knew that misbehavior & loudness resulted in us leaving and that was absolutely not acceptable – let alone there were consequences later. (As we were brought up by our parents.) It is a matter of respect for the the other people in the restaurant. Our kids were special to us, however, we knew not so much to others enough for them to ruin their dinner!
Unruly kid tax. If your kid misbehave consistently you pay more tax. If your kids do behave you get more money back. How this would work I have no idea.
When my kids are bad I give them chores they have to complete upon returning home. They are very well behaved.
Your names suits you. Do you walk around with pursed lips?
I think you are reading a post from a RESPONSIBLE PARENT!
Define "misbehave". After all, I've been accosted for allowing my child to stand next to the table to eat instead of forcing him in a chair. Not screaming. Not crying. Not even talking. Just standing. Not running, fussing, or even disturbing the flow of the waitstaff. Standing. This was "bad behavior" to someone to a point they cross the restaurant to inform me of it at increased volume, so all in the restaurant could hear.
What some consider "running around the room" to others is simply a movement break, or sitting next to the table, or standing. What some consider "screaming" turns out to be a normal volume for a child. You just never know what others might have problems with. Should everyone just stay home, then?
I find loud, inappropriate conversations- not always on cell phones- to be far more disturbing than a quietly standing child.
Expecting a tip is part of dining out. It may not be fair that establishment owners don't pay their wait staff for their labor but currently that's the way it's set up. The waiter "expecting a tip" isn't being rude to you. they expect to get paid or good service to you. Consider the tip part of the bill, and if you don't like it, eat at McDonald's.
Also, everything you listed is not worse than listening to in infant scream, at least, not in most people's experience. Even their parents.
Sorry, ignore this. It's a reply to another post that showed up on top in error!
thats soo wrong im a child and i love life and my parents, all my friends the same, most of the kids in my school the same you do not no anything about children lives because were not all terrible brats as you take us for we can be good just we refuse for attention that u dont give us and we dont think we can do whatever we want, we do that stuff to get attention...
And the point here, brat, is that we, being paying customers acting like responsible human beings, don't care about your self-actualization and any points you're trying to make. If you act out in our presence, we want you gone.
p.s. ask your teacher to define "run on sentence" for you if not the rules of capitals and punctuation.
LOL
Double dog LOL!!!!!
Newsflash for you, young Jake...you don't deserve attention. The world does not revolve around you. Grow up. Get a life. Stop for a moment a appreciate whatever blessings you may have. Do not expect the rest of us to stop what we are doing to pay attention to you – especially when we are trying to enjoy our own private meals. If you want attention, start behaving like a well-mannered young man. Say "please" and "thank you" more often. Open the door for someone else. Treat others with respect, and you will discover that it will be returned to you. I respect and admire young people who act like adults, not spoiled brats demanding attention. And while it may seem trivial to you, the way you present yourself on the internet also reflects poorly on you, and others will respond accordingly. Run-on sentences with poor grammar, spelling, and punctuation will not earn you anyone's respect. Writing correctly, with a well-thought-out argument will. Not everyone will agree with you, but they will at least respect the fact that you could clearly state your point of view in a mature manner.
My kids are now 21 and 17. I remember being very pregnant with my son while dining at a nice local French restaurant. The ladies at an adjacent table remarked that they hoped my coming baby would be as polite and well-mannered as my 4 yr. old.
I DO believe in restaurants posting rules for childrens' behavior as I have seen outrageous examples of horrific parenting; often at (but not limited to) very expensive restaurants where the nanny obviously had the night off and the parents had no clue...if you don't want to involve yourself with kids, why have them?
Having said that, would hate to see children totally banned from restaurants as it punishes those of us who have spent the time and raised a well-socialized child who should be able to join the family for dinner.
Agree. Have enjoyed many interactions with well-behaved kids around me. On airplanes, in restaurants, if the child is behaving or the parent takes immediate action if it's not, it can be fun to meet up with a kid.
I managed to raise five children and NOT ONCE was I ever so self involved, rude, and inconsiderate enough to allow a single one to fuss, scream, and fit in public venues...at any age. I also nannied for six years before having my children and taught for four; I love children and have seen many parents who feel they are entitled to special treatment from everyone else because they have no idea how to discipline their own children. Very sad situation. It only teaches our children poor values.
When my kids were little and cried in public, I would take them to the car or restroom until they stopped. It's a matter of being considerate of others...something today's generations have no clue about.
I sympathize with parents who have well-behaved children if they are turned away from some restaurants. However, I think the ones who complain the most are the parents whose children are out of control. When I pay money for a meal, I expect to enjoy it without the distraction of a screaming, misbehaving child. You don't have to have health or digestive problems to know that consuming a meal in a relaxed environment/atmosphere is better for the body no matter the age. Parents who have no control over their kids should always consider take-out or cooking at home. It is not right for them to ruin my meal and day.
Have the expectation the child should be a start pitcher for the Boston Red Sox this spring.
Huh? Not sure what your point is, but the kid needs to behave, whatever his/her future career might be. I can actualy see a movie – brat throwing fit in public place, person of no huge power offended, ten years later, paths cross again.
Idiot parents should be asked to leave & forced to take their unruly offspring with them. Here's some of my horror stories. Toddler in next booth spilled his sryupy drink, ice, straw & lid down my back & in my hair. Service staff were mortified, parents didn't even apologize, in fact demanded that staff replace his spilled drink. 3 or 4 month old baby soils diaper at next table. Mother helps herself to empty chair from our table & changes baby's toxic waste inches from where we were still trying to enjoy our dinner. When my husband told Mommie Dearest that they had tables for that in the restroom, he was promptly told to get a f-ing life. Two small children show up at my table, from I know not where, & wipe their greasy hands all over my new dry clean only slacks. Waitress had to retrieve them & look for their parents, as no one immediately seemed to want to claim them. This doesn't even count the children who are allowed to color on the walls, lick the ketch bottles, empty sugar & creamer packets onto the tables, shred their napkins all over the floor, play in the water, throw fits so their parents won't force them to sit in a booster seats or highchairs & just plan make complete nuasances of themselves. It got so whenever we went out when asked smoking or non-smoking my pat answer, don't put be anywhere near anyone under the age of 12. Its not the childrens fault. Rude, obnoxious, inconsiderate parents will produce the same.
Movie theaters should restrict children at certain times also. We wait for things to come out on video rather than sit in gum, juju beans, or worse. Crying babies, cell phone users, smokers, & talkers. And sometimes, the action in the seats in front of us had more adult content than what was on the screen. And even though I am not a prude, I do think watching minor children in sexual encounters is legal. Obviously, they must be too young obtain drivers' licences or lover's lane was way too crowded that night. That doesn't even begin to explain the surround sound system. When you remove your hearing aids & you still feel like your ears are going to bleed, isn't that too loud? And I was told rock concerts damaged my ears, maybe I just went to too many movies.
First of all I call bs unless you were dining at Denny's or something in which case that's more expected. Don't tell me you were at a fine dining establishment with kids running around willy nilly. Pull the stick out spinster.
totally agree
I was lucky enough to get to go to many very nice restaurants as a kid. It was a good reinforcement for the table manners I learned AT HOME. My parents taught me how to handle myself every night so that when I went to nice places, I knew how to handle silverware, be polite, keep quiet, and never be shy to try new foods. I rarely ordered off kids menus and instead usually went for smaller dishes or off the appetizer menu. Now as an adult I am appaled by people my own age in restaurants as often as I cringe over children. It's no wonder children are running about and screaming, their parents never learned how to act either!
I had a very similar experience. It only took my parents taking me home once before our food came (because I was not behaving) for me to get it. Yes, they paid for their uneaten, ordered food. It only took my daughter once to get it also.
As a parent, I sat with gritted teeth last summer when my extended family were out dining at a higher end restaurant in a beach community that required reservations and had long wait times. I was stunned by a large table of 10-or-so, obviously extended family members, in the middle of a cozy restaurant who acted completely oblivious to their wailing toddler. Everyone at our table could not believe the piercing noises from this toddler, and no one at their table lifted a finger. All the while, my quiet-as-a-church mouse son sat across from me happily playing his *silenced* electronic game. It dawned on me that when my son was the age of the toddler in question, and he started crying because he was antsy, I would remove him from the table and other diners and take him outside or to the restroom. It's stunning that there are so many selfish, thoughtless parents who think nothing of the enjoyment of other restaurant patrons. However, on the same note, I am sick of hearing many adults' arrogant, loud, and obnoxious cell phone conversations and ring tones while I am eating. Whether it's howling toddlers, children running amok, or obnoxious cell phone users, the fact is that the common denominator is the lack of courtesy to other patrons. Banning children also punishes those of us who go to great lengths to be courteous to others and also creates impositions when people are traveling. I refuse to only eat fast food while traveling.
I completely agree, banning all is unfair to those who have done their jobs as parents, taught their children manners and respect for others around them. I am also supportive of restaurants requesting that cell phone users either go outside or to a lobby, restroom area, etc. for their conversations. Have had loud, arrogant adults making incessant phone calls (while ignoring their dinner partner) ruin many a dinner.
Seems to all just revolve around manners and unfortunately rules must be posted for those who have none, to protect those who do.
Problem with kids crying ? What happened to tolerance in America. Now how do we preach tolerance to the Muslims ?
This is about manners, not tolerance.
Oh what now / We want newborns to eat and drink in a certain way. Very well then... why stop here, lets also probe them for their knowledge of calculus.
Can you not read AND comprehend? Your comments make no sense whatsoever. You must be one of the people this type of policy is created for.
Do you have half a brain??? Your comments make no sense.
idi0t. This is about parental responsibility. A kid will cry or scream or whatever. The rest of us do not want to be subjected to that, so the parents need to step up.
It's not the children as much as it is the parents not responding to the childs screams or unruley behavior...just like the other night we were out to eat and a baby was just screaming and not one time did the parent tell it to be quiet or try to see what the child wanted they just continued to talk...and if the child won't act right in public they should take it outside...it's the uninterested parents not the little children...they have to be taught the right way to act...
No one wants to hear a child screaming while they're trying to eat. It isn't cute. This isn't a statement about kids. It's a statement about inconsiderate parents. There are just some places that are inappropriate for very young children, and if their parents want to go there, they should hire a babysitter or ask Grandma to take the the kids for awhile.
Now if someone could just wave a magic want and keep parents from bringing their infants and toddlers to movies that are not children's films. And even if they are kids' films, the seven-year-olds don't want to hear screaming infants either.
Give the parents a spanking! Somewhere the parents aren't mature enough to handle the situation of a child 'crying in a restaurant'. SURE! It's distrubing to other customers – that's common sense. Mom and Dad ought to know what to do to quieten and/or calm a child down. My wife and I were in a restaurant last week and witnessed a young boy and a young girl literally 'RUNNING" around and around the restaurant during our entire time there. THAT IS INSANITY! It's time for Parents to grow up and mature.
I am not in favor of this "trend" because I don't need a business establishment tell me how to parent. Mind you, if I am at a restaurant and my children act out – I handle it immediately so as not to disturb other patrons. I am sick and tired of people staring at children, giving parents dirty looks, for when a child simply cries for a bottle. Has this nation forgotten that at one point in their lives they too were a child? That they too embarrassed their parents by throwing a fit? To exclude or not permit "children" under a certain age I would venture to say is discriminatory. Shame on the establishments whom do this. Now, for those parents whom do not take matters into their own hands, and obviously don't care how their child's behaviour is impacting other diners, the business owner, manager, someone should KINDLY say something to them. Think about restaurant owners, the economy is tough. Do you want to loose patrons? One or two examples of restaurant's revenues increasing is not a basis for a national trend. If an restaurants puts such statement in writing, where is the policy for adults whom sit there talking (and loudly too) on the phone while you are trying to have a quite dining experience? What about people talking too loud, drinking too much? Laughing too loud. Where are the policies for those adults who have no parents around to curb their behavious nor the common sense or manors?
They are not trying to instruct you on parenting. The restaurants are posting expectations. Like 'No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service'. It's not a training exercise, it's an expectation.
"the business owner, manager, someone should KINDLY say something to them"....spoken like someone who's never tried doing that before.
I could not have said it better myself. for those whom believe kids are ONLY to be seen and not heard....(you must not be a parent yourself) I think this is a mind blower, REALLY???? no kids allowed. I swear the last time i checked this was America we do have soldiers fighting for our freedom as they have for many years and now we cant even bring our babys out to eat, anywhere we please...I will NEVER spend my money at a place my children arent welcome! Get real!!!!!!
I don't think the establishment that posts this type of policy wants your business.
I currently wait tables at a very high end chain of restaurants. I must say I completely agree with all children under 6 being banned from restaurants. While every once in awhile parents will bring in well mannered children, it's a true rarity. Last week two mothers came in with four of their children, as they were seated they were given crayons and coloring packets. Well these "little angels" didn't get the colors they wanted. As I am taking the order one girl yells across the table, "I didn't get any blue crayons!" interrupting her Mother(who said nothing about the outburst). I replied "Give me one moment and I'll be right back with a blue one for you." I ran to go grab a blue crayon and made it back to the table to continue taking the order. When taking the order this time I was once again interrupted by a different child complaining they didn't have a green one. Once again I ran to go get more crayons. Upon returning to the table to try and take the order yet AGAIN, the first girl starts to complain that she broke her blue crayon and needs another. Once again I went to get more crayons, this time however I brought all four colors for all four children. Making the grand count of crayons at the table 32, because apparently no one taught them how to share. Finally after 15 minutes of trying to take the order I was successful. Joy of Joy when I find out all four children will be sharing two kids meals, and their mothers will be sharing a meal as well, making the grand total of the bill about $25. As I head to get share plates for the entire table, I hear the sound of water hitting the floor. Yep that's right, they knocked over their beverage that I now have to clean up, as well as get refills and new utensils and mop up the floor. Not once was an apology made or thank you given. This unruly behavior lasted the entire meal, which included yelling, sitting under the table, standing in the booth to play with the light fixture and so on. Did I mention that while I was busy with this table I also had 4 others (that weren't half as demanding) being neglected??? Well eventually the meal is over and they have finally gone, leaving enough mess at the table for 12 people. Now time to see if all the extra work I put in was worth it. NOPE, like most families with children they tip 15%. Wow a whopping $3 dollars after I tip out! This is just one scenario, that happens on a daily basis. Families with children mean less money and more work for the server. No Thanks and go to Chuck E. Cheese where you belong!!!!!
Again, the problem is the parents, not the kids. Blame the parents. Ban the parents. And what do you consider a high-end chain? I can't think of a single "chain" restaurant that is high-end.
I completely agree that the children are not responsible for their actions, they're still learning. The parents should have taken the initiative to rectify the situation. McCormick's and Schmick's, maybe I should have said casual elegant dining.
I see more obnoxious whining here among so-called adults than I ever heard from kids in restaurants. What's all this swill about "I paid X amount of dollars; I'm entitled to a peaceful night out!!11! Herpderpderr"? Um, no. The only obligations any restaurant has toward its customers are to provide them with a meal sanitarily and to do so in a safe environment. That's it. The ambiance isn't guaranteed. You have no right to decide who else gets to eat there. If the noise bothers you so much, eat at home. Bam –problem solved.
I do eat at home often. And it's not a problem for me. The restaurants however are losing business. They are not just selling sanitary food. They are selling an experience. An event. Something to enjoy, which hopefully includes savory well prepared food. But they are not selling experiences that include out of control kids. No one would purchase that.
Unless the restaurant in question explicitly mentions a peaceful, quiet, kid-free experience, you have no right to expect it.
BS. ANY place in public, I have a reasonable expectation that people around me will conform to the environment. If it is a public plaza where a politician is speaking, or a park full of very young children, I will have an expectation. If is is a restaurant, I expect something different. Anyone who frequents any business should recognize that the business has an obligation to all its patrons.
Evidently you didn't read the article. That is exactly what is about – restaurants wanting to offer a quiet, restful dining experience. It is not about making ALL restaurants that way, just some of them. The owner of any business has the right to run it the way they want (within lawful reason) and if a restaurateur wishes to cater to the majority of customers that want a quiet and peaceful dining experience, they should. If a person wants to be exposed to rowdy, loud children while eating they can go to Chuckie Cheese – if they don't they should be able to go to a restaurant offering a child free environment.
I clicked on reply to judeanslingshot but for some reason CNN decided to place it under the wrong posting.
Well, your expectations for a restaurant are much lower than most other peoples. Don't ask me to lower my bar because you're content with mac n cheese on a paper plate. And yes, restaurants have every right to set standards for patron behavior.
Same could be said of you. You have NO right to insist that I deal with your child's deplorable behavior.
I know I was raised in a different time but I never saw the inside of a restaurant until I was 10 years old. It was the first time i ever saw two forks a spoon and a knife sitting next to my plate. I say, you want to have a nice dinner with the wife, get a baby sitter and have a pleasant meal with nice conversation. Plenty of time to get the kids trained to cope while eating among strangers.
Thank you. That's exactly how we were handled as kids. And I'll tell you, the baby sitter wins out hands down. Kids don't like sitting quietly in restaurants anyway.
Same here & I'm only 30. BTW, I have a 2 yr old son & my husband & I get a babysitter when we want to go out to dinner. If we no one's available, we order in.
+1
If you don't choose to control your kids, then don't have any!!! These days, almost always both parents work full-time and shove their children into some daycare center. After Mommy and Daddy come home from a stressful day dealing with corporate shit, they decide to take their overtired, undernourished, needy kids to a restaurant. The kids are unruly and the "parents" are too tired to deal with their tantrums.
The parents are to blame here, not the children...they don't know any better. If one parent can't stay home with the children, then don't have any!!! I'm sick to death of parents who "want it all"!!!
I understand this, but it is hard for a family like mine. My son who is non verbal autistic can be loud and squeak a lot. I don't take my family any where that isn't just a family restaurant and would never take them to a fine diner. This sort of thing sort of leaves the disabled out. I teach him what I can. One should take into consideration as well that when you go to family places that families will be there. If I have a night out with my husband I don't show up to a pizza joint expecting it to be quiet. I think this should only apply to fine dining and not family or fast food. Especially fast food.
Spend money at a place that is kid-friendly…they do exist. Also, let's not forget that kids make the economy go around…unless we want to triple immigration….
Ugh. Another "my child is autistic" excuse. I don't care what the reason is behind your kid squawking and squeaking, if you can't control it then LEAVE THE KID AT HOME. He can squeak and honk to his heart's content, where only YOU will be required to tolerate it. Restaurant meals are a treat for most people (me) and I'm sick of the blanket excuse of autism being called upon as a defense for inappropriate outbursts. Leave Special Ed at home from now on.
For what it's worth I would be happy to be seated by your son. He can squeak all he wants, I don't mind. I'd much prefer it to the hostile, mean spirited people on this forum.
I have been in the situation too many times where parents dining in public have little or no control over their childrens behavior. I have had children walk over to my table in the middle of my meal and stare at me while eating, watched children run through a the dining area and almost trip servers carrying hot meals all while the parents acted like their child was invisable. A cry from an infant or baby is one thing but an outright temper tantrum or a child running wild around the premisies is unacceptable public behavior and if the parents don't understand this and refuse to teach hteir children, then the establishment has the right to have them take their unruly offspring elsewhere.
I don't go out to eat much, but when I do, I prefer not to hear someones screaming brats... when my kids were young, I made them behave.
Bad parents should be asked to leave by the manager. Good parents with good kids should be welcomed.
The biggest problem with that is you can't tell which is which until they have been seated for a few minutes. Then it takes another few minutes to get the disruptive ones to leave. In the mean time my quiet dinner has been interrupted or ruined (along with the dinners of everyone else that came expecting a relaxing atmosphere).
This more offensive than a screaming baby: old people in valour leisure suits; arrogant people arguing over fifty cents on the bill; indifferent service, expecting a tip; and so on.
Expecting a tip is part of dining out. It may not be fair that establishment owners don't pay their wait staff for their labor but currently that's the way it's set up. The waiter "expecting a tip" isn't being rude to you. they expect to get paid or good service to you. Consider the tip part of the bill, and if you don't like it, eat at McDonald's.
Also, everything you listed is not worse than listening to in infant scream, at least, not in most people's experience. Even their parents.
Consider using a dictionary.
Absolutely yes, something should be done to keep other people's kids from disrupting the meals of those of us who want to dine in peace. Since there are no more smoking sections, restaurants should have baby sections in separate, soundproof rooms. then the screaming babies can just annoy each other instead of everyone else in the whole place. Or, what would be best would be for these incosiderate parents to keep their kids home until they're old enough to behave.
My children, when babies, were cranky in nature and not good in restaurants. After spending my time outside the eatery, trying to console the kid, my husband and I gave up bringing them out. I got tired of paying good money while wolfing down food in between trying to keep them quiet. If your kid is a crier, keep 'em home. We did, when we saw it wasn't working out. My last plane ride from FL to NY was a nightmare – a constantly screaming kid. No one appreciates this, when you are trapped in a confined place.
I totally hear you. I find a lot of people forget that they were once kids. They all remember "My mom would have…" yeah, right.
My children know that they must behave themselves in a restaurant (that means NO screaming,yelling, hitting,banging on plates with a fork or running around). If they don't we will not go out or we will leave them home with a baby sitter. This is the same courtesy I would love in return. It is not the reponsiblilty of the restaurant to provided distractions for my kids either. IT IS MY JOB AS A PARENT TO TEACH MY CHILDrREN PROPER MANNERS. If a restaurant wants to call out parents on their children's behavior more power to them. I would gladly eat there more often to enjoy a nice quiet meal with my husband and with/ without my well behaved kids.
Kudos! Same here. We had six children in under 8 years...scary, yeah. Got that. When they were ages 10-2 we went out to eat when on vacation in FL. We went early, way before "prime" dining time. The kids were great, but I noticed a couple watching us...staring. I was very afraid we were disturbing them, but the kids were acting fine. The couple left, and then our waitress came over and told us that that couple had been so overwhelmed that people actually knew how to raise kids to be respectful that they had paid for our entire dinner. I still have the handwritten note from the anonymous couple. Raising kids is not easy, but raising polite respectful children can be done. And people notice those who put the effort into it.
You're right, Ria–it's as important to take note of the good behavior as decry the bad. Almost 20 years ago my husband and I stopped for lunch at a McDonald's off I-80 in Pennsylvania. Shortly after we brought our food to our table a family of mom, dad and two small boys came in and sat at the next table. It was Micky D's, so I confess I didn't expect much. The whole time no one raised his or her voice above a well modulated conversational tone–there was no need to. All we heard was "please pass the-", "thank you" and "may I" whatever. As we left we had to stop and compliment the parents on the fine job they were doing and tell them was a pleasure it was to be in the same restaurant as their family. They looked surprised, but thanked us. I don't think I'm wrong in postulating that the behavior their children–and the parents–showed was part of their everyday lives.
So glad to know that your children are blessed with awesome parents. Not many parents are teaching there kids manners and it will hurt them as they become adults. If my children see other children misbehaving they are simply horrified by such behavior.
right on!
Too man parents don't want to be parents, they want to be "buddies" to their kids. Hence we are raising a generation of entitled, whiney, instant-gratification brats. Just wait until those coddling parents are old and need elder care - they're going to get a big surprise when their selfish darlings don't want to spend any money or time on them.
Small children shouldn't be taken to restaurants. It's a practice that has only developed in the last 30 or so years. Leave them home! That's why there are baby sitters! And for those who say they can't afford it, STAY HOME! No-one forced you to have kids. Take care fo them at home like a normal person.
Someone else made a comment earlier that I think bears repeating.
If you can't afford a night out AND a baby sitter, then you can't afford a night out.
So why should young families not be allowed the enjoyment of sharing a meal and celebrating out? It is the parents responsibility to teach manners, and my children enjoy the treat of eating at family restaurants from a very young age. On the couple of occasions that we thought a breakdown was coming, one of us would retire quickly to the car until the situation was resolved. And to those that say if you can't afford a babysitter on top of the cost of a meal then you can't afford to eat out – why? Our kids have every right to eat out too as long as they behave (again parental responsibility) When my husband and I want to eat somewhere on our own, we pay for a babysitter and choose a non-family restaurant. Why should I have to pay an additional $30 for a babysitter, for my kids to be stuck at home and not learn how to behave in the world just to have a break from cooking for a night? You obviously don't have kids of your own.... don't put us all in the same boat with those that do not teach their kids how to behave while out. I fully support restaurants asking disrespectful families to resolve the situation and leave, and have no issue with fine dining establishments banning children. But we all deserve the same rights to eating out, that is the joy of living in America, as long as our children are taught to behave in public.
LT, the situation you describe is not what concerns most people here. Well-behaved children are always welcome in family restaurants. It sounds like you've done what other responsible parents have done – take the child out of the room until they settle down. That's all most of us expect. The problem arises when parents allow their children to scream without stopping, literally run around the dining room, jump up and down on the booth seat, etc. These disruptive behaviors, left unchecked, ruin the dining experience for everyone else in the restaurant. While this is bothersome in any environment – it's especially troublesome in what most would consider a fine-dining establishment. Hence, the creation of a few "adult-only" restaurants, or posted rules stating behavior expectations. I don't think any of this is unreasonable.
once again the land of the free becoming not so free.... if you own a buisness then do voice your comment ...if not then you are crying just as much as the children you complain about, the buisness mgr shoudl approach the parents and calmly and discreetly tell the parent there are complaints about the noise and give them the option to please try and get the situation under control, if that does not work offer them their meal to go and politely ask them to leave the building, don't just ban kids
now keep in mind there are SOME acceptable places to ban children like a high end clubhouse, or high dollar places of buisness, fast food and places offering meals less then $50-100 a person however are not high end
Regardless of how much a meal costs, a restaurant – or ANY privately owned establishment for that matter- should be able to establish policies about dress codes, children and pets. Folks looking for a pleasant time out shouldn't have to put up with other people's issues.
I'd even go so far as set policies about open-mouthed chewers, personal hygiene and fowl language, and even go so far as to forbid cell phone use in parts of the establishment. You see, contrary to popular belief, everyone is not entitled to everything they want simply because they're able to pay for service and have a desire to spend some time. There is an old fashioned and much maligned concept – common courtesy – which used to apply to social situations.
These days rude and stupid apparently entitles people to whatever they want.
Boo-hoo-hoo. Time to grow up and stop whining. Other people have the right to have a nice meal in peace. If you can't afford a babysitter, you can't afford to eat out. If it doesn't say Ronald or Chuck-e-Cheese on the marquis, you don't belong in there with children that don't behave. Period.
"can't afford a sitter" ...yet you ar ethe one wanting a nice night out.. if you can't afford to go to a highend place ..maybe you should stay home cause honestly if you can't spend more than $100 per person then you can't afford to be too picky
agree with Youareallfools – good idea about offering the meal to go if they don't get them under control. But don't just ban kids. Me and my kid will behave.
Land of the free...the business managers should then be free to make the rules for their establishment, including banning children under a certain age if they so desire.
People are horrible. Our culture as a whole right now has no respect whatsoever for children. Just look at the statements that have been made by the Republican candidates with regards to poor children. Spine-chilling. I'm not saying there aren't bad parents. (I'm a teacher, I sure as hell know that there are bad parents out there.) But, you don't create customer POLICIES based upon the behavior of a select few; that just displays child-hating douche-baggery.
It's fine to have rules for behaviour, excluding those with a disability of course. However it is not ok to discriminate against people based on age.
A loud misbehaving adult is no better than a crying baby; in fact it's worse. Yes children under a certain age lack self-control and other skills – but that's why they have parents.
Ostrich. Hole. Sand.
Loud and unruly adults have always been asked to leave and if they refuse, then management would take steps up to calling the police and banning the person from returning. There is 'Lout-friendly' dining as well as 'Kid-friendly'. And if I wanted to dine-out in either one, then I would expect to put up with noise, a level of chaos, clowns, and big-screen TVs. I don't appreciate parents (or groups with a drunk acting out) not controlling their situation and making my evening out miserable.
Years ago, restaurants in NJ had sections for smokers & non-smokers. Why not have a kid section, and a kid-free section/policy?
I asked the manager of Olivr Garden the same thing when I was totally annoyed by a screaming child nearby. I got no noteworthy response from the manager. I wrote to their HQ and they sent me a fifty dollar gift card. I sent it back to them and told them thanks anyway because I wouldn't return to Olive Garden or any other restaurants that they own. By the Chili's is even worse!
Umm, if you go to Chili's expecting a quiet meal, then the logic center of your brain is simply not functioning. Chili's is one of the loudest restaurants you could go to, and that's just the adults. You should have zero expectation of a quiet meal in some places, and other places should most certainly ban screaming children.
My husband and I were out for a quiet evening, and someone decided to bring their two small sons to PF Chang's. They were 100% turned around and leaning into other people's booths! I was so glad that it wasn't us seated next to them! It's the parents' fault for not telling the kids to sit down properly and stop harassing other guests. Total lack of respect these days. This lady should never have had 2 children to begin with if she couldn't handle one!
I was in a PF Chang's having a nice $50 meal (including some expensive wine) as a treat for myself and these parents allowed thier 4 and 6 year olds to first jump on the seats, then to run clear across the restaurant to start climbing on the horse statue as a jungle gym righ next to me! I got after the kids, told them to go sit down with their parents and then complained to the management! We most certianly need a curfew on small children after 8 PM and a child free zone in these places., just like they used to have no smoking zones. It's these selfish, lazy parents that have brought this on themselves!
It is more of a problem for me at movies. I am at the movies all the time at night (after 10!) and have to hear babies cry during the film. A lot of times this is in a movie that is completely inappropriate for children. I have tried complaining to management, but they never do anything. It really makes me more likely to watch movies at home or go to the "fancy" theater that serves nice food. I definitely support child-free zones.
This current generation of narcissistic, selfish dead beat parents put themselves first, I get tempted to call CPS when I see 3 and 4 year olds at 10 PM movies.
Man, I hate whiners, espeically on this web page. Wah,, wah, wah........ I 'm off to a restaurant with kids in it... At least there will be less whining there compared to this comments page.
Later, duds..........
You sir, are an idiot.
Tbone, and you are gentleman and a scholar. Rare in this country and these times.
Padraig,
I suspect you are one of the lazy, self-centered parents who lets their children run around and scream rather than actually being a parent. That's pretty much the only reason you'd have that opinion.
Actually, my parents rarely bring me to restaurants. Too many whining, self centered Americans (and their kids). And oh yeah, the food's usually shite at those establishment as well.
I understand why some restaurants see the need to do this. HOWEVER: being a mom of two young children I have had to leave early from time to time, take a child outside, etc. Almost ALWAYS it's due to very poor service. One shouldn't have to wait 10 minutes to have a server come to their table. Here's the deal-as soon as you come to my table I order for my kids, I want their food first. Then, as soon as our food comes I ask for the check, pay right away, that way we can leave asap as soon as the melt down starts. Poor service most definitely contributes to frustrated kids and parents. And yes, I do think sometimes tables with kids receive less friendly service than other tables. Funny, when we go out with our kids I typically tip 30% or more for good service and thank the server staff profusely, and so do most of our friends. That table of seniors is probably tipping 10% and complaining about everything!
Ahhhhhh... the world must revolve around you, no? Shall we all stop to accommodate you and your kids?
Sorry, but I really don't want to share my dining experience paid with my hard earned money with either your kids or you.
Please, your kids don't act out because waiters took too long to get to your table, they act out because hey expect the world to evolve around them, just like ou do. Why should waiters serve your table twice on the hurry, making the kitchen hurry up $5 kid meals. Easiest way to get rid of kids discontinue the kid menu and no splitting... A four top with 2 kids is not profitable
Jennifer I do the exact same thing. But it seems like when I come in with kids I am ignored, our food comes out slow as hell. I always go before or after a rush to cut down wait time. And I ALWAYS tip 30-33% when I have the kids with me. I go to one place here and always get the same server. he is very nice and understanding. We get the same thing when we go, well the kids do. he always brings the kids' milk out when he comes to my table to take my order. but other places I dont feel so welcome
Sorta off-topic, but...Am I the only one who wants an adults-only day at Disneyworld?
Yeah pretty much. If you have an issue with kids at Disney World, then you have some real problems friend.
What is this world coming to when we have to have a discussion about banning our own children from public places as if they are a nuisance to society. My child never cried in a restaurant and if she did it was for a brief second. However, I feel this is simply morally wrong. What is wrong with the world. A parent will take the child and calm it down, its human nature, so why is it necessary for folks to say such horrible things above about children and their parents. Nice world my child has to grow up in.
And trust me, I cannot stand a crying child and a parent who ignores it in a public place. But common, you were all crying brats at one point, and no body kicked you out of a restaurant.....did they?
Because lisa you choose to have kids and deal with that behaviour. I want nothing to do with your kids. Doesn't mean I wish you or you family harm. But when I go to a non family friendly place. Your kids are the last thing I want to deal with. You I'm fine with.
Because there are sadly more and more parents who refuse to be as considerate as you have been. I, too, took my son out of the room if he could not quickly be consoled. However, I now frequently see parents allowing their children to ruin the dining experience of others. Please note that this article is not saying all children should be banned from all restaurants – it is just highlighting a niche market that caters to patrons who would like to enjoy an adults only evening out. I actually wish there were more adult-only dining options that weren't so expensive. There are many places that are great for taking kids – it's nice to finally see a few that are especially for us grown ups.
Because maybe your kid is fine, and you did a good job raising it, but that's not the common case. If you actually read the article, you will see that several parents let their kids run around and do whatever they want, and when the staff ask the parents to please do something, they act indignant and don't do anything, and sometimes even worst. Are restaurants supposed to stand idly by while kids with careless parents do whatever they want and ruin other people's dinner? I don't think so. I believe you want your kid to live in an organized world, not an anarchic one.
If it was human nature to pacify a crying or disruptive child and all parents did it, we wouldn't have this forum going. The problem is most parents don't try to quiet the screaming child or make their child turn around in their seat or stop running around the place like it was a playground. Maybe you need to pay more attention when you go out to eat to see just how truthful your words are.
Not every restaurant is suitable for baby. It is as true as not every movie is suitable for under-age children. I wouldn't mind to hear a screaming baby cry in a family oriented restaurant, but I do certainly dislike to see parents bringing crying babies to a business oriented restaurant.
My opinion is that parents should be taking the risk that if their kids become brats after entering a restaurant they should pay for the meal and walk. If they don't then everyone else is having their say $30 – 100 pp experience ruined. I have had so many meals ruined by kids i could scream. Fortunately my daughter never once behaved like that.. but if she had we would have saved the day for the other diners by leaving. Some parents are so selfish they seem oblivious or just don't give a sh** how their kids are ruining everyone elses experience.
If no ban then provide a hypodermic with tranquilizer to shut the screechers up.
If "parents" can't control em" they shoudn't have em" ........ and if they're in a restaurant that I'm in and the baby is crying I'll certainly let it be known that I'm NOT HAPPY with their inability to properly raise and take care of their children. I'll spend more money on a flight OR restaurant that bands crying kids!
"bands"? Whoever raised you forgot the part about spelling.
Says the person who can't come up with an original comment.
As the parent of 3 young children I wouldn't dare bring them to a high end restaurant – we stick to family venues or go out alone. That being said, babies crying in no way reflects on them being "raised properly" – babies cry, every single last one of them. I'm sure you did your fair share. If they are going to ban crying babies, they should also ban loud-mouthed adults.
Perhaps any such rules should be addressed to adults and leave the "banning of kids" out. Parents or Guardians of children are responsible for the behavior of the child while in the establishment (whether it's a restaurant or a store). The ones asked to follow the rules and subsequently be asked to leave if not following them, should be the parents. But a little bit a grace is needing from the other diners. Give parents a couple of minutes to get their child under control. A child is not a dog who sits on command. There are some children who have "issues" and are not able to control themselves with the snap of a finger. I have one of these children. There is no need for everyone in the restaurant to stare at me while I'm dealing with my son. He's been crying for less than 5 seconds and everyone hates me. Come on – you think I'm having fun or even eating my meal? No. But no one cares about me – only themselves. The "it's all about me and what I want" attitude is pervasive in our society and we all need a little bit more grace extended to each other. Give me a couple of minutes, if that doesn't work (since it IS a teaching opportunity so he will learn to not be this way in the future), I will remove my child until he calms down.
If you still want kids banned, then eat at a restaurant has highchairs and coloring books, then don't eat there if you want a child-free meal. Seems easy enough to me. You pick the kid-friendly restaurant then YOU get what you pay for.
As for lack of discipline and parents who don't do their job....perhaps our government could stop having the More at Four program and and use the money to teach basic parenting skills. We have two adopted children. We were required to take CPR, read several books, and take over 15 hours of coursework on parents and adoption issues. Any fool can get pregnant and deliver a baby – but no requirements are made of them. No one should be allowed to leave the hospital with a baby until they have taken some classes on how to be a parent when they leave!
..ah yes more morons trying to force other parents to raise kids they way they want instead of how the parents want, first its no spanking... or grounding them and taking away Tv video game scellphones is too harsh... and those are the same mroeons who complain about out of control children, heres a thought mind your own buisness and the parents who say "I did this and that and all parents should" clearly have no children or they would know that no 2 children are the same whats worse ...a child who doesn't know any better ? or an adult on a cell phone ...or even those of you on here crying like babies about OTHER peoples kids the same"they shoudl take their kids out" can be applied to "if you don't like kids crying then don't go out" ...
You seem to be very confused. No one is forcing parents to raise their kids in a certain manner. Certain business simply aren't allowing certain behavior in their establishments.
I have 6 kids. I never would have brought them to an 'adult' type eating place to begin with. If you want to allow your children to be children take them to places that children belong. Just because you think it's ok to subject others to the bad behavior of the parents, yes-the parents, doesn't mean others must put up with it. The main problem is parents that don't parent. The smart ones are at home or at kid-friendly eating places. If you decided to have children that's your decision but doesn't mean everyone else has to move out of your way because you made that decision.
Yea there are "plenty of places families can take their kids to eat", its called fast food............... Remember its not the child its the parent that is at issue here. How you deal with the situation is very important. The danger in all this is that we go on to Movie theaters, Shopping centers, Grocery stores, Can't I shop in peace? This is really not fixing the issue which falls back on the parent.
No, dude, you can't shop in peace or have that guarantee in any place other than your own home.
If that is what the establishment is 'selling', then you sure can. It's their product.
Sadly, I don't even have the guarantee of a quiet weekend/evening at home anymore. My elderly neighbor has two daughters, and between them, the daughters have about 10 children. Any time school is out (summer vacation, weekdays after 3:00, or weekends), all of the children converge at grandma's. The screaming, cursing, and crying goes on for hours, sometimes until after dark. These are not normal children. They don't play like normal children. They're hateful and angry about everything, and they clearly get it from their parents, who spend a great deal of time screaming at the children from the back porch. Our houses are little more than five feet apart and there is no fence (I can't afford a stockade one), so the kids also spill over into my backyard, despite the fact that I repeatedly ask them to stay in their own yard. Their basketball smashes my garden every summer, and when I try to grill out with my boyfriend, the kids actually come over and ask if they can have some of my food. I've watched them steal my tomatoes and break limbs off of my bushes. As soon as I can start saving money from my new job, I'm moving to the country. Until then, there's nothing that can be done. I usually just have to leave my house in order to get any peace or quiet.
Holy cow, I feel so bad for you. I can't imagine having 10 little spawn living next to me doing that.
Yea there are "plenty of places families can take their kids to eat", its call fast food............... Remember its not the child its the parent that is at issue here. How you deal with the situation is very important. The danger in all this is that we go on to Movie theaters, Shopping centers, Grocery stores, Can't I shop in peace? This is really not fixing the issue which falls back on the parent.
As a father of a 'just over' three y/o boy and identical twin 11 month old boys, I understand why certain restaurants would want to restrict children. If my wife and I want to take the kids out to eat, we pick family-friendly places during 'non-peak' times for dinner, and that usually works just fine. If my kids act up, I handle it; parents appreciate it, and my kids are learning how to behave properly.
With that said, if my wife and I go out for a 'date night' to a nice restaurant that wouldn't be considered family-friendly (i.e. you wouldn't normally bring your young kids there), and there were kids there that were not behaving in a manner that suited the atmosphere of said restaurant, I'd be pretty ticked off, and I would agree with a restaurants policy to restrict young children during 'peak' hours. Perhaps the same restaurant could have 'family-friendly' hours as well in order to cater to everyone?
You are the voice of reason. Wish other parents would do the same.
Completely agree.
Most parents used to be like you. Unfortunately so many of them nowadays grew up in that "everyone gets a ribbon" culture (also meaning that no one grew up emotinally and learned how to deal with life) so we now have this generation of nasty, spoiled narcissists on our hands.
Totally selfish, they put themselves first and their children second. I can't tell you how many cranky, sleep deprived, screaming pre-schoolers I have seen running wild around the bar section of nice restaurants at 9 and 10 P.M., long after they should have been put to bed, while their pigs for parents sit there and get swacked on another drink.
I wish there was a way to sterilize these utterly selfish idiots! I wish there were more responible people like you having children.
Yep. We have 6 children. They are all older now (my baby is 15). We loved eating out when the kids were young, but were always very aware of others around us. If a child fussed, we took the child out. When we went to a fancy restaurant, we went as a couple. We did not allow our kids to run through stores, touch things that did not belong to them, or tell us what to do (gasp!). We recently went out to eat at a very fancy place and a couple came in with a toddler. The child began to scream. Babies cry...I understand. What I did not understand was why I had to listen to that child wail and carry on for the 90 minutes it took for us to finish our meal. It was awful. It's time parents in this country started thinking about others! Kids are great, but they do not rule the world, nor should they. I'm so tired of parents who think their kids come first all. the. time.
Get in the parent's faces and complain to the Management for allowing it. It got this way because no one spoke up. Push back!
It's a sad commentary on the selfishness of our society that people think they're entitled to handpick who sits next to them in public places. There are all kinds of obnoxious people on earth; people used to know how to suck it up and deal.
People used to get babysitters until their children were old enough to behave in restaurants. Things are changing and you are going to have to consider that other people have the right to have a decent meal without having thier ears screamed off by kids you are far too much of a deadbeat to parent properly. Go stick that up your selfish backside!
Actually, I don't have kids, homie, but I do find it outrageous that people think they're entitled to the stupidest things.
People used to understand that babies cry, but chose to not let it ruin their dining experience. But now, instead of learning to suck it up and adapt to your environment, selfish jags like you and 90% percent of this comments section think that your environment must bend to every stupid, selfish and patently unreasonable whim that enters your self-centered little brains. Since when is peaceful dining (or shopping, or anything else that involves a public setting) a guarantee? There are things far more obnoxious that a wailing baby - at least the kid doesn't know any better. But the guy talking nonstop at an earsplitting volume on his cell, the guy with terrible B.O., the people who leave their coats and bags all over the aisles, the loud group sharing a meal; the people who never tip - can we ban them, too, just because we can't handle it? Chances are you fall into one of these categories. Where does it end? Maybe we should all just take our meals in soundproof cubicles.
so you really see no difference between the local park and a restaurant? really? and an establishment shouldn't have the right to set rules which provide a quiet and pleasant dining experience? really?
We lived in Germany in the late 90's, and had American in-laws living in Switzerland at the same time. Their 2 and 4 year olds had zero discipline – spoiled rotten – and never hesitated to make a scene. They were thrown out of Swiss restaurants on two separate occasions while trying to have an evening meal. We chuckled when we heard that since we had experienced their meltdowns ourselves!
Two points: 1) children do not belong in restaurants, theaters or stores until they've been taught how to behave in public spaces. 2) Parents: if you can't afford a night out AND a sitter, you can't afford the night out. End of discussion.
You make me laugh. Just because you teach you childeren how to behave in public spaces doesn't mean they are always going to. As a father of a 5, 3, and 4 month old, I have taken my kids out many times and 99% of the time they act very well and we have had complements from other diners on their behavior, but there have been times that we have had to correct our kids so they know what is the correct way to behave.
It must be nice to live in your world where kids always listen to their parents. In that world their probably isn't any underage drinking or drug use either.
I invented a plastic baby bubble helmet which fits on the child's shoulders and straps on using velcro. There's a little door in the front to open if you want to feed the child, but if you close door, no sound escapes the helmet. Air baffles allow air to circulate within the helmet, but the helmet is virtually soundproof (except when the feeding door is open, of course). The child can scream at the top of his lungs, as hard as he wants, for as long as he desires. Meanwhile everyone dines in blissful peace. I am making two different sizes: infant screamer (which is actually a dome that covers the entire child, and can lifted off easily; envision a casserole cover), toddler screamer (the most popular size) and the 4-5 year old screamer, which has higher security straps that the child can't remove. I am going to market them to restaurants..........
What are the air baffles for again? Sounds unnecessary.
I was a waiter for many years, and saw it all. I once actually told my my bus-boy in front of two mothers that we'd need a hose to clean a booth after their little darlings had dined with us. One of my other favorite times was when regular customers brought their toddler twins in for their first visit to a restaurant. They very patiently told their children, "this is John, he's our waiter, he can bring you ANYTHING you want". I looked at the mother and said to her "I can't bring them a pony". She thought I was kidding.............. the look on my face said otherwise.
Gahh...I hate screaming kids in restaurants!! I am paying good money to have a meal and I DO NOT want to have to listen to your children screaming shrilly through out my meal! I don't mind if parents bring their children to restaurants if they're well behaved. Take your children OUT when they start to get cranky! On thing I've noticed it seems to be toddlers that cause the most trouble, not babies (who usually sleep through the meal) and older children (who are generally old enough to know how to behave.) Take your kid to McDonald's if you want to get out. And by the way, Cheesecake Factory and Olive Garden are NOT family friendly restaurants, at least not around here.
Another thing this should apply is bringing kids to work. I don't care if you own the company, you don't have the right to cause a disruption in the work flow or the working environment just because you can't be bother to stay home with your kids or hire a babysitter. There's take your kids to work days and everyday is not one of them, so unless it's one of those days, keep them home if they can't behave and you're not willing to discipline them.
If I owned the company, I wouldn't care about whiny employees that gripe about my bringing my kids to work. If you said anything directly to me about it, you'd likely be out on your tail without a job.
Don't want to work for you. Do you even care about your employees?
You cannot fire an employee for complaining about work environment. You would be sued so fast......
Actually, if you own the company, you can do whatever you want within the law.
People are still having babies??? Quick someone alert planned parenthood and Obama! This simply will NOT do.
Yes they are. Your friends the Dugar Family, the stars of Twenty and Growing, have spawned 2 baseball teams and a DH for each team for a total of 20 AND still growing!
I think the results of the poll speaks volumes. People are fed up with parents not keeping their kids under control in restaurants. What are parents afraid of? Lawsuits?
I have three kids (two teens and a 7 y/o) and eating out for us is a treat and not a couple times a week thing. When we would go out to eat and they acted up, I would give them one warning. They knew that if I had to tell them a second time to settle down that we were going to leave regardless how far through the dining experience we were and that when we got home they would be grounded for one day. My youngest has only misbehaved once in a restaurant.
That's some great parenting Mel. I've had this issue with my kids and i'm going to try your approach. Thanks again, you're a smart guy!
I can handle crying kids more than I can handle obnoxious people on cell phones.
Good for you. Cell phones at restaurants are rude too. However, that doesn't excuse out of control kids.
This should not even have to be said to parents. I've taken my son out to dinner when he was little and when he started to go into a tantrum, I had to go outside and sit with him and go back and pay the bill when my wife finished or get the food to go. No one wants to be bothered with a crying child.
🔴 you are in the minority. Most people expect you to listen to screaming kids and barking dogs. Thanks for being thoughtful. 🔴
We would do the same. This is so obvious, I can only think that's it's parent's laziness or the idea that they'll have to stop shoveling food into their mouths for one minute that stops people from doing the same.
i totally agree and i hope others do too ... IT SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE SAID PEOPLE !!! ... take the kid outside until the crying stops – - it is called COMMON COURTESY
Ann,
Judging by the poll results and the comments alone I'd say you are living in fantasyland and should consider laying off whatever medication you are currently taking. The people in the minority on this issue are the selfish, sorry excuses for adults, let alone parents, like yourself.
I wonder if the vast majority of parents are reasonable and considerate, while having their hands full with managing their kids' outburst. Perhaps a few rotten parents ruin it for everyone. If that is the case, there is still hope. Sorry to hear you have evenings ruined yourself, but thank you for not letting it cascade to others.
I'd like to see the return of something similar to the old "smoking section" on airplanes except it would be the "Screaming Kid" section. It could be divided by a soundproof plexiglass barrier so we could occasionally turn around and see the silent screaming going on!
Movie theaters in Europe already do this. There is no reason restaurants couldn't do it as well.
Are they in sound booths? A screaming baby ruins the movie for everyone, it's one big auditorium where sound travels.
Yes they are sound proffed rooms with their own speakers. The only people who have to put up with screaming children are the ones who brought them.
It is a shame that a restaurant would need to enforce rules like this, but some people are inconsiderate and are only concerned with their needs. Of course a child will be a child, but a parent should also be a parent. You can say you'd take your business elsewhere, and I am sure they hope you will if you can not control your children or be considerate of their other patrons. In the end they are a business and taking care of their patrons is part of that business. "The needs of the many outweight the needs of the few" – Spock
If parents EVER let their kids scream, cry, and run around in restaurants and stores, they're teaching their kids it's okay. It's not. That's why we had a zero tolerance policy for my kid's public fussing from day one, and guess what. He has had GREAT public manners for a long time. Parents, when you let your kids get loud and obnoxious in public, we hate you, and we hate your kids.
As a mother of three kids, I can both understand the desire to eat out with peace and quiet, and the desire to take my kids to nice places. It can be a bit of a Catch 22. How can I teach my children how to behave in those circumstances if I can't take them there in the first place?
Recently, we took our three children to a restaurant. The place was packed. We waited quite a while for a table. Despite being tired of waiting and hungry, my children behaved well. However, at one point, my youngest hit his head on the table and proceeded to cry very loudly. Instantly, a man across the restaurant yelled loudly, "Somebody shut that kid up!" We did quiet him quickly. I was very angry at the lack of compassion, patience and understanding. I understand a lot of parents today are missing the mark and a lot of kids are growing up feeling entitled. But the flip side is a lot of single and/or divorced, broken families, two job households who are tired, angry, etc., who've lost site of how precious children are, or see them as an inconvenience. Whatever happened to "it takes a village to raise a child?" The sense of community, of offering help to struggling parents in these situations, no longer exists.
Another issue is this whole idea of people expecting me to make my children behave in public places, but if I set out to discipline, there seem to always be "watch dogs" wondering what I'm doing to my kids, if I'm handling it correctly, at the ready to call social services if I do something they deem inappropriate. And if I discipline my child, and he/she screams bloody murder, I must have done something wrong, right? "Good" parents who know how to handle their children publicly are under a microscope. Darned if we do, darned if we don't.
On the other hand, small children and babies really do not need to go to restaurants unless traveling on a family vacation or something. Then they should be kid proof places. I learned at home. My parents spent their time at home with us kids when they were not at work. We were a family. There was always the joy of having a babysitter (much more fun) when they DID go out on the town. Of course we went to the stores with them, but there was always life savers or animal cookies in it if we are well behaved. We even had chores like watching the cart, staying out of peoples way, and putting the items on the counter 'right side up'. Why don't families stay at home? It's only a few years until the kids are old enough to follow instructions, like sit "still and be quiet until we leave". Why do parents choose to have children only to burden everybody else. Stay at home, nurture them, and be a family. Don't drag potentially out of control kids to restaurants full of adults that have spent money trying to have a nice evening.
If a business can mandate a dress code, they can mandate no kids. It's THEIR business & let's let them run it as they see fit. Plus, the only reason it's come to this is some people just won't be grown ups and be considerate of others by keeping their kids quiet or by leaving.
I was a server for many years and saw both good and bad parents on a regular basis. I think it really boils down to how considerate you are of other people. If your kid acts up, you take him / her outside immediately or order take out. I once saw a woman's little brat running around jumping on tables until one of them fell over. After that, she went inside and complained to the manager that "A table just fell on my son" as though somehow it's our responsibility to take care of her brat. A former co-worker of mine couldn't stand it when people brought their kids out to eat. One time someone asked her what she suggested for children. She told me later she almost said to them "a babysitter" but she was a little concerned they would take it the wrong way. Another observation is that parents who do not control their kids in public usually make a huge mess and are not very good tippers. And on top of that other people will avoid your section until the ill mannered parents and children leave.
Mother of 4 here and I am so lucky ALL of my kids are almost grown, BUT they didn't act out of order in public when they were tikes. They tried, but after being disciplined ONCE in front of an audience, it embarrassed them into behaving themselves. I also agree that Parents usually do NOT take responsibilty for their child in public. I was at the checkout in a Grocery Store and the young child screamed at the top of her lungs towards her Mom ' I HATE YOU' because she would buy the spoiled brat some candy. Geez! If I am out at a formal dining restaurant, I do NOT want to get an upset stomach because the parent next 2 Me wants her child to blossom into a screeching banshee. GO TO McDonalds or PAY FOR MY BILL....LoL
Wow, proof that CNN.com readers are mostly douchenozzles.
And you?
I have perfected over the years two approaches for dealing with obnoxious BRATS in restaurants. On is tripping the little monsters and sending them flying hopefully into outer space. I'm also very tall and my elbow is just the right height for knocking the back of their heads, hopefully stunning/slowing them down
I have Asperger's syndrome. As a result, I'm hypersensitive to certain stimuli – in my case, noise and touch. If there is a loud or repetitive noise, I get very anxious and irritable and can't relax until the noise stops. I don't like children already, and nothing makes me more upset than a kid screaming.
I didn't pay 70 dollars to listen to high-pitched screaming, I paid to have a nice quiet meal with my family. I would love to go to a restaurant that banned children altogether.
If you must bring your kids, do what my parents did and take some coloring books along. Otherwise, stay in the "family" eateries where running around, crawling under tables, and shrieking are tolerated.
I share this with you. And with construction right next door I'm ready to scream or cry by the end of the day. The last thing I need is to be confronted with more nerve racking screeching when I finally go out to dinner. I do not interfere in other people's space, nor do I interrupt or disrupt them in anyway. I expect the same from them.
Badly behaved children are quite often the products of parents who're rude and thoughtless – otherwise restaurants wouldn't need to post signs asking for cooperation. I don't want to dine around brats – or their screaming kids.
I'm a parent, and I whole heartedly concur with kids being banned from restaurants. Parents these days are so dang uppity and entitled, they think they can allow their children to pitch fits, or run around screaming like banshees. When I go out with my husband, the last thing I want to hear, especially when I want some quiet time away from my own kids, is the sound of your screeching child in my ear,
I have raised 5 boys, and I taught all of them right from toddlerhood how to behave in a restaurant, and it wasn't difficult. I just told them that we were in a restaurant and they had to stay at the table and behave. Of course, there were crayons and crackers if the food was slow. I think that kids running around in a restaurant like they're in a playground is not only annoying to other diners, but it is dangerous. Don't these parents see the waiters walking around with trays of food??
Reading all these comments make me incredibly sad. Many people suggest having "kid free zone" and "kid free hours". Haven't Americans segregate enough? Americans didn't like the Irish, then the Italians, then the African Americans, then Chinese, then Japanese, Hispanics, Muslims, and now children? Why don't we just segregate every age group, race, religion, or whatever suits you? I'm sure even when that happens, some will still be the first to say that they're raised better and they're better than anyone else.
Showing consideration is not segregation. Anyone of any race or religion can have an out of control disruptive child. The question as I see it is whether children are fully cooked or mature enough beings to participate in the adult world around them. We are not born fully formed. It takes years to reach that state. During that time, prudence and consideration to others is recommended. After all, who is going to snap your baby out of the mouth of the tiger. Or out of the way of the speeding bus. If it's a screeching child, not many would.
We only want to segregate the ill-mannered, selfish people who feel entitled to subject their ill-mannered, selfish children on the rest of us. All others are welcome.
The problem with people these days, is that EVERYBODY is turning into whimps, have to whine and crtize about everything, Yes screaming kids can be annoying, but everyone should have the same right to eat at any resturant they want, if you say they cant then you are singling them out for having kids. Yes some parents may have trouble controling there kids, but which parent doesnt??? Not every one is perfect, so if you saying there are perfect parents then show them....
Following that argument, you wouldn't mind if someone sat next to you can burped and released other bodily gasses and smoked a big fat cigar. If you have a problem with it, you're just a wimp.
the problem is not that kids are crying but the fact that the parents aren't doing anything about it. Also the bad behavior is the kids running and screaming for "fun". Yet again without their parents doing anything to stop it.
You don't have to be a perfect parent to have well-behaved children. The problem is too many people like you would rather make excuses than actually be a responsible parent.
Perfection is not the issue, intelligence and reason are. Apparently you don't feel responsible for teaching your kids how to behave. Too bad – the world will teach them that lesson the hard way.
Indeed.
The problem is that we are being held hostage. We've already ordered dinner. A baby or child starts screeching, and we have no rights to 'manage' the situation. I any one of us tried, the parents would probably call the police. We are not even permitted to tell the parents that their child has disrupted our evening out. We are powerless in the situation. People get very angry when they are held hostage and powerless. Furthermore, the restaurant loses business. How often is the baby coming back? Because the adults may cut their visits to that restaurant in half or more. Maybe not even return.
"...everyone should have the same right to eat at any resturant they want" That is entitlement mentality. Why? Because while true those of us with class know to be respectful and plan accordingly with our kids. NOT putting ourselves first always = class. Simple.
Baby's crying should not be labeled as "bad behavior", it's natural behavior, and all the more reason for parents to not know not to take children into such establishments in the first place.
Agreed. Babies are going to cry. It's what they do.
The bad behavior is on the part of the so-called adults who are the parents of these children. The bad behavior is when these "adults" don't take their screaming child away or correct their children when they are running around tables or acting inappropriately in general.
I'm sorry but if your kid doesn't know how to behave for whatever reason (age, no discipline, etc.), then they have to stay at home. Get a babysitter if you want to go out. If you can't afford one, ask a friend or family member. If none are available and that means that one or both parents have to stay home well that's one of the sacrifices you have to be willing to make if you want to have kids. It's a parent's responsibility to care for their child and to be accountable for their behavior good or bad.
100% agree
You must have had a terrible childhood, and I bet you were probably that one child that was always crying, had no discipline. Whatever the reason, you probably need to stay away from restaurants.
Great reply. The people responding to this poll are all trolls.
I disagree. It takes a village to raise children. How can you expect children to learn without exposing them to social situations? Yes, in those social situations, they will misbehave until they learn to act properly. But, like it or not, that is part of the learning process.
And, yes, because children are born every year, we will always be burdened by the following (in this order):
1. crying children in restaurants
2. kids that won't get off our lawn.
3. graffiti on our walls
4. clunker cars with shiny rims, huge spoilers, and loud sound systems.
5. self-righteous thoughts on religion, economics, and politics.
But, at the end of all of that, we'll, hopefully, have a well-adjusted adult that will make some fantastic contributions to society as a result of the above-mentioned experiences.
As to point number 3: The first and last time I wrote on a wall I was four years old. Mom: "Who did that?" Me: "[Imaginary friend] did it." It was my first encounter with a rhetorical question and an alibi being ruled inadmissible by the court. I never did it again–anywhere. Just about all the other things on your list can be attributed to parents refusing to do thier jobs in the first place. If you raise a child to be considerate and thoughtful, he won't equip a car with earth-shattering speakers, or if he does, he won't keep them long. Train up a child in the way he should go...
And as to the kids who won't get off your lawn, it's more of the same. In my neighborhood, you stayed out of other people's yards unless you were invited, e.g., playing with their kids. My bf and I went in a neighbor's back yard to look at their little corn field. Her mother caught us and gave us both hell. It never crossed my mind that she didn't have every right to. Had it been my mother who found us, the situation would have been the same. There were standards and everyone enforced them. Years later, a family (using the term loosely) moved across the street. Their kids were the terror of the neighborhood. They tortured a tortoise that lived next door (violating the stay-out-of-the-yard-unless-invited rule as well as cruelty to animals) and did as they damn well pleased. Our next-door neighbor came around the corner of his house one day to find one of their girls sawing on his porch. He: "What are you doing?" She: "I'm sawing." Mother (responding to neighbor's summons) "Oh,Cheryl." I don't know if they ever inflicted themselves on a restaurant, but it's not hard to imagine what happened if they ever did decide to eat out. The whole street almost broke into cheers when the family finally moved.That's a long way around the barn to tell you what you already know: bad kids are the spawn and the result of bad parents. Were the parents in this case stupid, indifferent, indulgent or all three? I don't know. All I know is they made the lives of all who knew them a torment and a misery. The parents of the parents should have been spayed and neutered before they ever had a chance to reproduce.
Every business establishment already has the right and responsibility to eject anyone of any age who is disturbing other customers. To make the claim that there must be a written policy directed any one type of disturbance is a redundancy that is merely a ploy for free publicity equal too or greater than advertising.
People keep arguing what the rules are for and what determines an upscale, family resturant, middle of the road, and I say IT DOESN'T MATTER!! Manners are manners are manners. If you are in McDonalds or even the play part of McDonalds and your kids starts pitching a fit, crying, etc then take them AWAY! If you are in WalMart, the Garden Center at Home Depot, Chucky Cheese, the Four Seasons, on the play ground, etc and they start screaming, crying, throwing a fit then TAKE THEM AWAY!!
I agree and disagree. If a kid throws a fit at a restaurant it is typically due to them being hungry or at least thats how it is with my little one and as soon as I give him some cherios i packed for him he calms down (his fit consists of whining a little and reaching for our plates). Now public places like home depot or something yea my son throws a fit I take him and leave.
I have a 1 year old child who me and my wife take out to resteraunts. We go to specific ones where we know if our son was to throw a fit (thank god he has not done that yet) it wouldn't disturb someone due to the already loud atmosphere. If me and my wife want to have a romantic dinner somewhere quiet then we get a baby sitter. Sorry its the price we pay as parents if we want to have a quiet dinner we have to spring extra to have our kid watched for a few hours. I personally can't stand if I go to a place like shula's, or roys and I am going to spend well over a 100 dollars for me and my wife to have someone bring their infant into the restaurant. Look if you have the kind of money to go to fairly expensive restaurants hire a dam baby sitter. It is not often I get to take my wife out for some quiet dinner time to have your dam child to ruin our evening we have a kid of our own we have to hear when hes not happy I don't want to hear yours. I am all for CERTAIN restaurants to make that a rule but I think if its a place like a road house or ale house sorry I think thats a bit much considering the places are already loud enough.
Restaurants can give parents a choice. 1) take your screaming kid outside. 2) Buy alcoholic drinks for all the other diners who have ot put up with it.
To quote Charlie Sheen....
Winning!
When Mussolini get's office, we can ban smug Liberals from being out in public, with out a muzzle and buttplug.
Leave it to a flannel brain to make this a political issue.
If the decline of the American family values, isn't a political issue, then we're all walking around in the dark under the dim flicker of the twisty lights, because Simon sez.
There's zero point in debating this. Mother's simply have no ability to remain objective when it comes to their children. None, whatsoever. That's why their testimony is worthless in court. Mother's + Kids = logic right out the window! They will defend their right to bring their screaming kids into a restaurant to the grave. They will never see it from your point of view. They physically lack the ability.
I wonder if you realize how ridiculous you actually sound. Had you bothered to read any of the below comments you'd be aware that you are patently wrong. I suspect you don't know a single responsible parent either or you'd know you were wrong. That being said, you might want to rethink your circle of friends.
My beloved wife never once volunteered to take our young children outside. The few times they misbehaved, I did while raising them by the hand off the ground on the way out. Outside they got a gentle boot in the pants and a warning to knock it off. A kiss and back inside they were little angels.
Right, that's why when my year-old nephew started to get fussy in a restaurant, my sister and brother-in-law started a quick discussion of who should take him outside. I was already finished, so I volunteered. Problem solved, and we didn't have to be asked to do it. There is no blanket statement that applies to everyone. Some people are considerate, some people aren't, and some people think the sun shines out their toddler's butt and he/she can do no wrong.
Does your mother still defend your obnoxious behavior when you misbehave in a restaurant. That explains why your word in not to be taken.
My father's favorite saying when I was growing up – he said it at least once a day – was "Children should be seen and not heard." I was raised to respect other people's right to the same courtesies we expect and want – and I raise my kids the same way. I am a mother and I absolutely can take a hard line with my children and remove them when they are 'becoming unruly and disturbing others. Even if it totally screw my hopes for a pleasant evening. That's what responsible parents and considerate human beings do.
Someone who says a mother is incapable of controlling her children is ignorant and clearly not a parent. I AM a parent, and I also despise other parents who think the world revolves around their child – if you raise your child that way, they will be seriously ill-equipped to deal with real life. My 15 yo daughter HATES the rules I impose (there are a LOT!) – and believe me, I am way more than capable of reminding my child the sun does not rise and set because of her existence.
Having said that, I find it appalling at the way some parents will simply let their child do whatever they please without consequence. Will blame someone else's tragedy for making their child's life difficult. Will accept whatever lame excuse the child gives when they have committed a grievously wrong act. Hope you have bail money when your kid decides to do whatever she pleases without thought to the consequences!
It's about damn time people were reminded of how polite society should behave, with consideration to others. The problem is not the crying children – it's the people around them who behave in a similar manner when things don't go exactly their way. Where do you think they learn it from?
In France,Italy, Japan we never ever see crying babies or unruly children when eating out, and I think its because children aren't reared to think they are the center of the universe. Have had many a wonderful meal in San Francisco, Berkeley, San Jose where young children were in attendance and its obvious the parents are either well traveled or simply were raised learning manners and common etiquette. Something the majority of American children have do not have.
Had our son acted in an uncivil manner when eating out I would have blamed my lack of parenting and been highly ashamed.
I've lived in Tokyo for 5 years by way of San Francisco. I have children and can confirm everything you said as accurate. A screaming child here is the abnormal. I suspect diet plays a big part as well. We don't pump our children full of sugar and trans fats... Fish, rice and vegetables have a very calming effect.
Well said !!!
Brigham Young said "Crying babies are like barking dogs. They should be removed from the room". With 100+ spawn, I would say he knew that from experience. His advice is still valid today. The same goes for nerdy people who use their cell phones in public. Crying babies and public cell phone use are as rude as you can get.
You sound like a Luddite.
The entire point of a cell phone is to have it and use it when away from the home or office. I agree that loud cell phone talkers are annoying no matter where you are, but saying cell phone use in public is rude is pretty dumb.
Your child doesn't pay taxes, doesn't have a mortgage or car payment, doesn't work 60 hours a week, isn't a veteran, your child doesn't even vote. All your kid does is eat, poop, play............and obviously possesses an ear splitting wail.
If you do not understand that the sacrifices I have made and work I have put into achieving my station in life trumps your child's right to "express itself" then your parenting skills and values are severely lacking and you have no business influencing your child's development.
You may leave.
So, accomplishments make you more valuable than a child? Why should that mean anything to anyone else except you? I could care less if you are a pauper or a prince, I will treat you with the same respect any human deserves.
You illustrate perfectly what is lacking in parental perspective these days.........the distinction between the adult and the child, the parent and the offspring.............the attainment of privilege and courtesy through responsibility and accountability. Babies are neither responsible or accountable for anything.
Adults rule, babies drool.
If it's a private business they have the right to dictate the dining rules, even if they don't make every single person happy. Personally, I think the people with major gripes about this topic are probably the worst offenders and, honestly, I'm kind of sick of folks with entitlement issues.
Children if not able to be quiet should remain home. Maybe some enterprising restaurants will have a room designated for parents with children so the parents can endure the crying and screaming themselves then I think they will get the point, I love children but ... there are special times where adults deserve peaceful eating and conversations.
Seriously?
My autistic son has an awesome escape mechanism he used when he was younger – he would scream. Grocery store? Didn't want to be there – screamed. Restaurant – same.
We had to stick with it (within limits, I didn't sit through an entire meal, but he'd give up after a few minutes).
Now he can sit through an entire meal like a typical child, because he was taught that his behavior wouldn't get him the reward of leaving.
You take away that ability to teach a child with autism – and the taxpayers will be footing 1/100 children on disability 100% for their WHOLE LIVES because hey – we shouldn't 'intrude' even for a minute.
Seems like a pretty hefty price to pay for taxpayers. A little compassion goes a LONG way. Sometimes it's not as easy of an answer as you think.
You want to pay disability for 1% (and growing 17% a year!) of the population's salary for their whole lives (their life expectancy is exactly that of a normal person, by the way :) )... then sure, GREAT idea.
Teach then 'no' at McDonalds, not an adult restaurant.
No, we don't want to pay disability. We just want to enjoy a meal that we're paying for in peace.
Seriously?
While I applaud the fact that your son can now sit in a restaurant and behave, where is the compassion you showed to the patrons around you while your son did his screaming. Didn't they have a right to a quiet meal? Compassion and empathy goes both ways. You don't know what was going on in the lives of the people around you. Chances are they worked hard to pay for that meal and had an expectation of peace and quiet. When someone walks into a family friendly restaurant, that's not an expectation. I applaud restaurants with this kind of policy in place.
no offense but your son shouldnt be learning at the expense of others. what you are reaching him and your other kids is that other people feelings are not as important as yours. others deserve a pleasant and relaxing meal just like you do. and yes i am a mom of 2 and am a firm believer and supporter of people being asked to take their children who are misbehaving outside. if people cant abide by this then go to mcdonalds or stay home
Wow. Does the world revolve around you? Did sunbeams shoot out his bum and rainbows twinkle out his ears when he threw those tantrums? I understand your child has a seriously disability, but to ask everyone else in a restaurant to put up with your attempts at raising him when all they were hoping for is a simple quiet meal out, is the most self centered egotistically load of BS I've heard in a long time.
You want to teach your kid how to act in public without giving him the impression that he can scream in order to get his way? Then take him to Chuck E. Cheese. I'm sorry your child is autistic, but you do not have the right to inflict your child on other diners in an establishment that is geared towards older children and adults. That you want to teach him how to act in a social situation is NOT an excuse.
KD,
And that's why a room for parents with young children would be perfect. Just because your child is special needs does not entitle you to ruin other people's dining experience. If restaurants had a room where only people with young children could eat, then you could all enjoy the screaming of each others brats and those responsible adults who hired babysitters could enjoy their meals in peace. It's a win-win situation. Stop acting entitled because you have a special needs child. Lots of people have them and they don't selfishly inflict them on other people.
In fact, when I was in Europe, the little town I lived in had a single movie theater. There were lots of families in there on a regular basis and the movie theater built a special room for parents with small children. You could still see the big screen through a big glass window and it had speakers inside the room so you could hear as well. However, no one outside that room would hear the obnoxious screamers. Everyone was happy about this, including the parents with small children.
Why is it you are so averse to making EVERYONE happy with a working solution? Sounds to me like you have other issues you need to work out.
As a parent, I can tell you there is nothing more annoying an irresponsible as a crying child at a table. First of all, if you get a phone call, want to smoke a cigarette, or have a crying child, get your lazy @ss up out of the chair and take it outside or away from others who are paying their hard-earned money to have a nice quiet meal. It's harsh, but we should not have to suffer because you can't get your child to behave. Get a baby sitter, or eat at home. Anytime one of our children begins to act up, we immediately exit the vicinity of others—this includes commuting on trains. It's just common decency. Respect others. Not only will your neighbors thank you, but your children will learn this practice at a young age.
I agree, but with this current proposal, you will not have the option of exiting with your child. You won't be allowed into these restaurants. My guess is that you are a responsible parent, the kind that that does the right thing, but you too will be banned if you have a child. I say have the restaurants post that if the child carries on, they and their parents will have to leave. You shouldn't be punished for the fools who lack parenting skills.
@silence, I probably understand this better than you think. I actually live in Tokyo where silence is pretty much demanded. There are many restaurants that my wife and I used to be able to go to but can no longer go to because they do not allow children. It's unfortunate because ours are very well behaved, but I understand why someone would ban children. We have a word here, "meiwaku" (roughly translated to annoyance), and it's built strongly into our culture... when you have 13 million people living in a tiny city, the last thing you want to be is meiwaku to your neighbors. As to restaurants banning people, we have another common word: "shoganai" (It can't be helped)
That is too bad that restaurants in Tokyo are beginning to ban children. My guess is that western style parenting is beginning to make an appearance. I truly believe that in order for children to learn appropriate behavior, they need to be placed in situations where they are required to behave and they see the consequences of misbehavior. We have laws and rules for everything here. Instead, we should just have manners. Social norms would be much better.
I have two kids and I agree that there are some places you shouldn't bring your kids. Also, even if it is a family friendly place like Olive Garden or Outback you need to have control over your children. They do not need to be running around the dining room, screaming at the top of their lungs, etc. This isn't your house and you need to have a little respect for other people. If you have an inconsolable infant, take them outside and calm them down, of you cannot deal without eating then maybe you shouldn't eat out until they are a little older. My kids are well behaved and know what is expected of them when we are out to dinner and these are things we have made sure to TEACH them since they were very small. I know that some kids do not know any better and that is the job of the parent. Most of these kids are going to grow up to be just as inconsiderate as their crappy parents.
EXACTLY! Also a parent of 2, and I often say to my wife, there are no bad children... only bad parents.
I agree!
THANK YOU, Spanky! I am so sick of hearing parents with an undue sense of self-entitlement use the retort "It's a FAMILY restaurant!" when someone complains about their unruly child. Other families don't want to deal with your screaming child! They don't want to deal with you letting your kid run wild through the establishment!
I cannot believe the number of vicious comments toward children on this blog. Feral, animals, etc. I don't have children and if this is reflective of our society, it is no wonder that the monies allotted to education have dwindled so drastically. People flat out do not care about children and apparently have absolutely no respect for anyone but themselves. Yes, I admit some parents do nothing about their children's behavior but our nanny society prevents them from doing anything but talking to the kids. Would you have all families confined to a concentration camp until someone other than the parents determines that a child can behave at some gold standard of behaviour?
Here's some more disrespectful attitude: You're not very bright, are you? Money spent on education is as high as it's ever been. The problem is self-centered, entitled parents who won't control their children, and think everyone else should just put up with it.
And people like you that no doubt enable that sort of behavior.
In a world of 7+ billion humans, children are an utterly unnecessary annoyance. I certainly have no respect for anyone who has them, and I wholeheartedly support any business that provides a child free environment. Concentration camps? That's a bit extreme, but I certainly favor turning breeders into pariahs, welcome only at McDonald's. Selfish? Maybe, but I also look down on anyone who takes a dump on the sidewalk next to me. Maybe I should feel compelled to accommodate that person?
I wish your parents also felt the same didn't have you. Would have been good riddance.
when i was a kid my mother would simply not have tolerated bad behaviour from me or my siblings when we were out and about, today all i hear from parents are attempts to bribe kids to be good rather then discipline, the result is kids that feel entitled and grow into adults that dont know how to behave and feel entitled no wonder the world has gone to hell
"Whenever a restaurant assumes a public stance on dealing with unruly children, it risks alienating customers. But it’s a chance more and more restaurants are willing to take, with increasing support from the parenting and non-parenting public."
* side note * This reminds me of what web developers should do with Internet Explorer. Take stand against crappy software.
*back to story* I can only imagine what airlines will do with screaming children and their parents. parachutes anyone? But the ruined dining experience seems to be the predecessor of the now more rude loud cell phone conversation and annoying ring tone at restaurants especially higher class ones. What ever happened to being aware of one's surroundings and habits? If you are loud person best not to go to a quieter affair because chances are you will f* up. Have a siren for a baby? Best to forego the dining experience for a few years or hire a baby sitter.
There was recently an article about "Why French parents are superior". It talked about the fact that French children do NOT cry in public. This happens because French parents let them CRY and don't pick them up immediately when they are infants. They, by their very actions teach their children delayed gratification. I was brought up being told that crying and throwing temper tantrums in public was NOT acceptable. EVERY time I see a child throwing a temper tantrum in public I have one thought: LOUSY parenting. I don't go out to eat very often. It is a TREAT. To have a SCREAMING child disrupt my very EXPENSIVE dinner really PISSES me off. ANY restaurant that tells parents to take the product of their LOUSY parenting outside has my patronage for LIFE.
ATTENTION: Every adult must adapt their life to children they did not give birth to.
How dare someone think they can dine in peace, the nerve of some people!
I hate being in a public place and listening to kids whine and cry and I think some places should have policies regarding this since it can simply ruin the environment of the place. Something about it grates on my nerves, but I do not place all the blame on the parents. Kids are kids and they will have outbursts when they are overstimulated or bored or tired. That is just the psychology of kids. It is the responsibility of the parents to keep the behavior of their child in check. I have a 8 month old son and we do take him out to restaurants and other public places often. I provide toys and other entertainment for him while we eat or enjoy our outing. He is very well behaved and enjoys the attention he gets from others and barely says a peep when we are out and about. On the rare occasion he has cried and was miserable while we were out, I took him out of situation so that others would not have to tolerate him, even if that meant that I had to finish my shopping later. If it were to happen while we were eating, I would ask to have my meal boxed up and would finish it at home. Of course, when he gets older and has more self control and he happens to have a tantrum in public, I will take him out of the situation and give him time to calm down and collect himself before introducing him back into the situation. While parents are not fully responsible for the behavior of their children, they are responsible for making sure their child knows that type of behavior in a public place is NOT acceptable.
🔴 🔴 I really love children but if parents can't keep the noise down ,kids shouldn't be in relatively quiet areas. Parents and Dog Owners seem to think, it they don't mind hearing it , you won't mind. Well surprise!!! I don't want to hear a long winded cry session or a lonely dog barking all day. ⭕
Stay at the bottom of the well then. I will not alert my Master or Land owners that you are there. ( snicker ).
🔴 Only an inconsiderate person would disagree . Thanks for letting the world know what your about. 👎
I am NOT a person,just a caring animal that has hiked her left leg upon your blue jeans. It will dry in 24 hours so don't worry.
👿 If you want to pee on MY pants, i don't want to know what your kids and dogs are up to 😡
Let it go, Lassie always wins. Trust me.
😄 OK, usually I always win but I may not be interested enough to keep replying ,lol lol lol lol lol 😊
If you want a night out please tie up your children and leave them at home.
I thank CNN for running this topic every once and a while to get the point across to parents of small rug rats.
I actually don't mind children running around. It's the shrill crying that cuts right through me.
That first sentence wins the "Funniest Comment of the Day" award.
And the second sentence wins the 'Idiom used Incorrectly' award. The saying is 'once in a while' not 'once and a while'.
Vicky, thanks for the correction and the Award
I am the childless person most people complain about. I'm sorry but I like to eat my dinner in peace and quiet. That being said......I do NOT chose to have my dinner in the McDonald's play land and expect that it be quiet. I do not think it is unreasonable to go to a non-fast food restaurant and expect that people make their children not act like an alien life form. I do not think your kid is cute when he runs around my table, even if he does say "hi" or wave. Why in the heck do people think this behavior is okay? I have literally had children crawl around under my table.... where the urge to kick their parents was pretty darn strong. Please control your kids, the innocent, childless, & peace loving shouldn't have to suffer.
You got my vote...well said there! thank you!
I DO have children and think that is unacceptable behavior! People are very inconsiderate and they are teaching their children to be the same way.
I don't have kids, either. But I do have a 6-year-old nephew I love more than life itself – and even MY SIX-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW thinks that behavior is unacceptable. We took him to lunch last year, when he was only five, and he shook his head at a little boy who was running around screaming. He got out of his chair and told the child to be quiet or Santa wouldn't come to his house. Heh.
I just spent $160 at Red Lobster for a special family dinner, only to have to have two kids about 6 years old spend the entire time racing back and forth in front of the kitchen door. The parents said nothing to them except to let them know which kid won the race. I raised 3 of my own and have teenage granddaughters...my granddaughters only remark..."now we know why we were taught to behave in public". That small number of idiot parents unfortunately usually overshadows the responsible moms and dads.
Not long ago, I was in a Thai restaurant, and the door was open to the nice weather. Not only were small children being allowed to walk around the restaurant freely, but the parents called a waiter over and asked them to close the door so the kids wouldn't wander outside. I honestly do not understand these people at all.
I would like the rule to be restructured so that any table that reaches a certain decibel is asked to leave or be banned. If this is a child crying, someone laughing too loud, being drunk and rowdy or whatever. Make it a standard that everyone lives with. I see more adults at restaurants I want to ban then children, to be honest. Rude adults ruin a mean as fast if not faster then children for me
I agree. We eat out all the time and there are often obnoxious people who make too much noise.The noise makers are rarely are children.
Yes!! So true!! There are plenty of adults who are as self-focused , entitled and ill-mannered as the children we are referring to in several postings. Why do some adults feel they can laugh, chuckle and chortle… or simply talk in disturbingly loud voices regardless of where they are? It seems to me, sometimes, that our "Facebook-watch-me, watch-me" society has encouraged individuals to show-off what a good time they are having by being sure to talk as loudly and be as demonstrative as possible… It's obnoxious!!
They annoy the living daylights out of everyone around them with their cell phones, loud talking (what they say can in no way be considered conversation) and boorish behavior because that's how they were raised, using the term loosely. The couthless louts of both genders you see today were the screaming brats running around restaurants and stores 20 and 30 years ago. Sadly, this disease continues from generation to generation.
WC Fields was asked he liked kids. "I do madame if they're properly cooked". Seemed appropriate here.
my most memorable dining experience was at le cirque in nyc. not a screaming kid in sight. not one person bumped my chair or screamed in my ear all night. although, i may have moaned loudly when tom selleck walked in.
Thanks God my kid is almost 17.....I cant stand kids under the age of 10....I am so glad that some resturants re standing up and saying no to ppl like you....annoying ppl that like kids to scream, cry and whatever else they do....leave them at home hate kids
STARING at me while I'm eating is equally annoying as a screaming kid!
Pay attention to your offspring, if you don't then do not be offended when I ask your brat to stop staring at me.
Most people here sound beyond stupid. You guys are asking to ban Children everywhere :/. It doesn't matter how unruly the child is, they have the right to stay regardless or not. Little children throwing fits is natural, regardless of how well behaved they are or not. A child is a child.
Amen–thank you for your quip of sanity
The point is not to ban kids everywhere. Stop over-reacting. The point that is made is that parents need to take responsibility for their children. When I was a child and acted up, my mother would take me into the bathroom or outside and attend to me. The problem is that there are lazy parents that feel that their life doesn't change when they have a child, but it does and it means you need to deal with your child when they act out.
Babs, well said, very wise!!!
Touche. But the majority of comments I'm reading here fail to see what you have made clear. A lot of them want to ban children outright from social places such as restaurants. Restaurants aren't places that are strictly for adults.
Regardless, its all about being a parent. I'd certainly would not leave my child, regardless of how misbehaved they can be. Why is it so much as to care of the crying child behind you if you have someone with you? You should be minding the person(s) you are dinning with rather than minding the crying child.
xyz, u miss the point totally and maybe you can close your ears to your child's carrying on, but others may not want to, nor should they be expected to. Take your kid to the Cheescake Factory & leave the adults to dine in peace. You sound like someone who would gab on a cellphone during dinner without regard to their fellow patrons. Newsflash: Being unaware is not excuse for rudeness!
Kind of hard to pay attention to the person I'm with when your BRAT is screaming at the decibel level of a jet engine, wouldn't you say? People like you shouldn't have kids. You don't know how to take care of them or teach them how to be productive members of society.
What??? You should be banned as well.
Kate I agree with you 100%
Exactly, Kate! XYZ – YOU are the reason these policies have to be written in the first place. Do you understand the basic principle of common courtesy?
Sure, kids throw fits, but parents should take responsibility and handle it. It is called courtesy, and is not as common as most people would like.
I agree children will be children. Having children is an important decision. Someone making the decision to have a child, does not mean that I need to be subjected to that child.
A child is a child, but a child does not have the right to be anywhere acting in any fashion. I would agree that if the dining establishment has no posted rules on children's behavior and no outright ban on them then all bets are off and no child can be admonished by anyone other than their parent. I would also consider it the right of any dining establishment to openly post policies regarding child behavior if not an outright ban, and let the market decide with their dollars if this is prudent or not.
Since when is it a child's "RIGHT" to disrupt and RUIN my dining experience? What did they do to earn this RIGHT you have bestowed on them? Is this so-called RIGHT in the Constitution??? I have a feeling parents like YOU are the reason this rules exist!
Yelling and screaming kids have the right to ruin the dinner I am paying for? You win the "Idiot of the Day" award. Congratulations, you obnoxious, self-riteous m o r o n.
I don't think you have a firm grasp on what is "stupid". Here's an example: Parents that think the entire public should be tolerant of their childrens' ill behavior – especially when it's happening three feet from their dining table. Our children are welcome to dine with us, as long as they're acting appropriately (and here's a tip: human beings under the age of 4 are prone to NOT acting appropriately). I have occasionally had to remove my children from restaurants and retail stores because they were disrupting an otherwise calm atmosphere. It's called BEING A RESPONSIBLE PARENT. But, I guess that's your defintion of "stupid".
We didn't go out to dinner with our son for two years when my son was between the age of 1-3. He was just not mature enough to do it, so why torture us and everyone around us. Today when you ask a parent to please make Johnny behave, they say they don't want to criticize as to warp his psyche.
No but we should ban Non-Christians..... I don't want to smell unbaptised humans who stink
Ah... Another "loving" "tolerant" Christian... You numbskulls hate everyone that doesn't exactly conform to your mindless drivel. Shouldn't you be protesting at some brave Soldier's funeral and chanting something about how God hates f@gs?
Are you quoting Jesus? He'd be so proud!
if my husband and i are being seated in a restaurant and they start walking to a section where they are a lot of kids, i have the person find another table even if they are quiet, because i know it's only a matter of time. kids running around restaurants is also very dangerous. when the waiter drops a plate of hot spaghetti on some 3 year olds head, then here comes the lawsuit
I always ask to be seated elsewhere if young children are nearby. I think that it is proactive and smart to avoid the things that annoy you.
Obviously you've never been in a restaurant with a screaming child - there is no escape. Ban 'em!
Reblogged this on billso and commented:
Banning kids from restaurants is an interesting notion. There's one bar in downtown Honolulu that attracts families because pizza is on the menu – but it's a loud sports bar. Definitely not family friendly...
I have a 4 year old niece, Love her. She is dear to my heart.
NEVER again will I go out to dinner and bring her along. I will not join my sister and brother in law for a 'family meal' in a public place. I don't love her less, I'm sorry, a child in a public place, who screams, cries, throws a fit, gets up and changes chairs 40 times, bothers to the other people around, THROWS FOOD ON THE FLOOR? and doesn't get punished/ or scolded into knowing better doesn't have any business being brought into public. Let alone a restaurant. I'm sorry if you don't know how to assert yourself well enough as a parent/authority figure, enough to control your child, but it is regardless of your parenting skills, your responsibility as a decent member of society, a respectable human being, to not subject anyone to your unruly child's behavior. WE AREN'T being rude by saying so. I didn't walk into a restaurant and shake your chair, scream in your ear like an animal and disrespect the staff but trashing the table/floor, your kid did. Age doesn't condone uncivilized behavior. Unacceptable behavior is unacceptable regardless. Bad parenting is the problem, fix the problem then you can dine in public like a civilized human.
LOL, i hear yah!
BRAVO!
*clap* *clap* *applaud*
Nothing ruins a night out like screaming children that parents ignore. I always took my children outside or to the bathroom until they calmed down. Its a shame so many parents feel entitled to allow their children to scream, cry or misbave in public!!
Parents should have the decency to not bring them.
I have absolutely no problem with kids being kids, but I do have a problem with parents not parenting. Kids cry, they throw tantrums, they have short attention spans and like to run around. That's fine. But it's a parent's job to 1) teach a child what behavior is appropriate for common situations, and 2) hold a child accountable for such behavior. I'll patron any business that holds parents accountable!
Hear, hear!
I wonder about children who are autistic and may have conditions that cause them to be louder than other children. Is this not discrimination?
No, it's not.
Yes, it is discriminatory. It's people on their night out discriminating against being subjected to unruly kids. It's discriminating against behavior that is disruptice, which I have no problem with.
Not a bit. An unruly child is an unruly child, no matter if they are perfectly healthy or if they have a medical condition. No unruly child belongs in a public place, period.
Isn't this really a simple business decision? A conscious plan made by the owner, and is verified by his bottom line? And if a patron doesn't like it, they can choose to never return.
Before we had children, we went out a fair amount, probably twice a week to a variety of places. In the span of a three year period we never were in a restaurant where misbehaving children disrupted our meal. That's what I find most fascinating about all of this. Where are people dining that they find all of these unruly, disruptive children? How often does it happen? If our meals were disrupted, it was by adults who maybe had one too many cocktails or were loudly discussing their ex-girlfriend on their cell phone for all to hear. I find those things to be much more off-putting than a child that needs to be soothed. Now, if a child truly is running around a dining room, they never should have been there to begin with, and it is a problem, that needs to be addressed.
In the end, we don't take our babies with us when we go out for a variety of reasons so I don't really care one way or another, I truly just am curious about where all these tiny hoodlums are dining.
The people you're complaining about being on the phone now were the products of poor parenting I had to deal with 15-20 years go. They never learned, so now they're the rude adults. You get it?
So you want to ban the 15-20 year olds also?
Anyone who has ever been inconsiderate or rude to anyone at any time ever had bad parents. Yes. I got it. Thank you.
Exactly.
Since you asked.... we eat out approximately 4 or 5 times per week. During the week, we dine at "family-friendly" places with the kids; but, on the weekends, we usually dine at nicer places by ourselves (yes, it's called a babysitter. Quick – someone call the department of Child Welfare Services!). We are interrupted by unruly children, and their unresponsive handlers, at least once per week. I love it when my own kids roll their eyes and say, "I can't believe their Mom let's them act that way!"
You dine out 4 or 5 times a week? Wow, I guess I just have no frame of reference for this thread. That is truly mind-blowing to me.
Its up to the parents to take care of their children. I have 2 children 3 years apart. I was lucky they were well behaved in a restaurant. In a store is where my son was crying and pitching a fit. I took him out of the cart and we went home. No ifs and or butts!! In the car I told him when we got home he would be in timeout for 3 minutes because he was a crying and screaming. It happened a couple more times then he never did it again. One warning is all it took after that. My daughter didn't give me problems.
...so it's not considered rude to leave a cart of products, possibly perisable groceries in a cart and walk off? I see.
It still comes down to parents who are respectful and responsible enough to handle their children and teach them what is acceptable at a dining establishment. There are degrees to what is considered good behavior or manners, but at the same time those parents need to figure out that if they really have to go to dinner that badly they need to know how their schedules and thier childs mood is going to affect that dinner time. It if's going to be a problem go to a suitable place or don't go.
I have 4 children and the youngest is 6. We have been through this and knew if the kids were tired or irritable where we should go to eat to cause a minimum of disruption. If it got bad one of us took the child out of the restaurant and tag teamed. We learned quick when we knew it wasn't going to be ok. Now our 2 oldest baby sit the younger two when we want to have an evening out. I was respectful to other diners then and I expect that these parents will be respectful to me now.
I recently went into a Five Guys and there was a table with three mothers with three children screaming at the top of their lungs, around 7 to 10, I ask one of the mothers to control the children and she said "No, you clearly, haven't had children" I told her I had four and none of them would have run around a public place screaming. She then simply turned away and I left the restaurant. The restaurant lost a sale so a parent didn't have to attempt to control he children.
While I agree that the mothers in this instance should not have allowed their children to scream as you describe, my opinion is that your approach just came across as being rude. When you are in a restaurant or on an airplane, it is not your place to correct anyone's actions or children. You should have spoken to the waitress or restaurant manager and asked him/her to speak with the mothers.
I see nothing wrong with a paying customer asking another paying customer to stop disrupting his or her meal. Perhaps it is better to alert a waitress or the manager, but there isn't anything wrong with the way this customer approached that mother. The mother is being rude by refusing to control her child – but sj is supposed to be worried about being rude to the mother? Get real.
I would have told that mother to go pound sand.
I'll never understand why idiot parents don't get their crying kids out of ALL situations (perhaps airplanes, ball parks and the like withstanding). I've raised two and can honestly say that I always removed mine from situations when they acted up. I've actually offended people when I reacted to their bratty kids in places where one doesn't want to hear crying. Get a clue parents, we've raised ours, don't have them yet, or, don't want any of our own and we DON'T want to have to put up with yours! I've got to go now and take my ludes.
I agree with you Herman. I removed my children if they didn't stop. One warning and then back home. After a few times it worked and no problems.
So once again someone else has to inform people of common sense? It's the PARENTS who should be exercising common sense and NOT take their poorly behaved (screamin infants, wild toddlers, unruly/loud/obnoxious/ill-mannered adolescents) to ANY restatruaunt, family-orineted, or otherwise until their children can behave properly in public. My ex-wif and I did not take our children out until they were capabale of not screaming, banging their silverware, etc.
Then again, look at the behavoir of the parents for the clues.
Bingo!
The policy isn't banning children. It's banning unruly children and their idiot slacker parents who won't do anything about it. It's ok for a kid to have an outburst so long as the parent immediately does something to soothe/distract/discipline the child. Parents who do nothing about bad behavior are the issue here, not children. Don't get distracted.
When my children were young, my husband I did NOT tolerate bad behavior in public – no exceptions. Why don't parents disipline their kids anymore? Are you afraid they won't like you? They won't want to be your friend? That's ok – you are supposed to be TEACHING them acceptable behavior. It's your job as a parent. Teach them to be responsible and independent and you won't end up with some adult "child" living in your basement and mooching off mommy and daddy. I may have been strict when my kids were little, but guess what? All 5 of them are self-sufficient, independent adu
Right on Christine. It's not magic. Love your kids, but teach them right. Discipline them fairly when they know they do wrong.
I completely agree. From a very young age like 9 months, I was very firm with my children about manors in public. My husband thought I was being ridiculous starting that young, BUT he sees the benefits to what I was doing now. I was NEVER mean to them. If you start early enough the need for harsh discipline is not necessary. Now, my middle child has definitely tested those limits from time to time, but I or my husband will not hesitate to remove him immediately. There is no pleading with young children. Parents need to be in tune with their children as well. I definitely know when my middle child is about to have a melt down. I can prevent it before it happens so that no one else has to experience it. So, do I agree with restaurants banning children or crying children? Not necessarily. I see why they do it. Wal-Mart should be next!!!
sry but I am not about to leave a cart full of perisable groceries in the line of walmart for some poor worker to restock just because my baby has a short melt down. I will do my VERY best to quiet her from the line, but we do have to eat. It is unreasonable to expect to never hear a crying child at a grocery store. This thread is cracking me up. People are bold faced liars. lol
it's amazing at how much passion can be raised when it comes to the 'Me Society' having to share their lives with people around them. Yes, unruly children who are not under appropriate parental care can be difficult, but the vast majority of parents do take care of their kids and, I assure you, they are pretty stressed out when faced with a child who has decided to dig in and have a fit. Like most parents in this situation, I take my child for a walk and usually he or she mellows out. If that amount of 'fuss' is too much, then I have no sympathy for those of you who are so self-centered that you cannot endure another human being's suffering. Recently, I sat next to a crying baby on an airplane who was held by a frantic, caring mother. On the other side was another passenger who acted like an even bigger baby complaining and commenting. Unlike the child, he never shut up for the entire trip about how as a paying customer he had to put up with the baby's behavior. He was by far more annoying.
You have it all wrong. It is not a "me society" because people do not want to tolerate your feral children. Basically live in such a way as to not upset or inconvenience others, it is not that difficult. I do it.
You made my case better than I did. Thanks.
I was unaware that a child who was crying and needed to be soothed was now considered "feral". Thanks for the enlightenment.
Here's the thing: I'm not interested at all in your child or your child's tantrums. If you can't control your child, keep your child at home until you can. Your rights do not supersede any others rights and you have the argument exactly backwards.
You are basically saying that others should give up their rights so that you can do as you please.
It's the "Me" society that keeps bringing their spoiled brats into places and expects everyone to accept their child's feral behavior. The same people who make loud conversations on their cellphones who think they and their little darlings are the centers of the universe.
Paul B – I agree completely. People just need to have a little compassion and patience, we're all in this together.
Paul, when my spouse and I are paying $50-$100 per person to enjoy a lovely meal, we are also paying for the environment. Our experience is completely ruined by a screaming child, a loud adult on a cell phone, etc. Am I putting myself first? When I am trying to treat myself on the weekend, absolutely!
If you truly are just trying to enjoy time with your spouse, why would you be so petty as to let the situation that Paul described ruin your whole experience? He isn't talking about letting a child flail wildly on the floor while screaming, he's talking about his child beginning to fuss, taking them outside, soothing them, and coming back. How could you really let that spoil a nice dinner with your spouse?
No, dear, because Paul went on to say in his argument that if the parents' soothing of the child didn't work and the child just dug in and had a loud tantrum, we should just have compassion and not care. Well, I'm sorry, but if your brat is throwing a fit on the floor, it's going to affect my quiet time with my husband. And if your child is doing that, you should do the responsible thing and leave the establishment. The other patrons are miserable, you're miserable, and your child is most assuredly miserable. To continue to stay is proving that you are part of the "Me First" culture – YOUR meal is more important than your child's comfort or the comfort of other patrons.
Oh, please spare me! This discussion is NOT about crying babies whose ears are popping on an airplane. It IS, however, about the child who is repeatedly kicking the back of the airplane seat and/or allowed to run and scream up and down the aisles. It has always been my experience that most people will tolerate a child who is crying/screaming due to being sick or exhausted, as long as they can see that the parent is making an effort to comfort the child. Poor behavior and bad manners are an entirely different story, and do NOT deserve to be tolerated. This goes for adults and children alike.
How are kids going to learn to act in restaurants if you don't take them out to eat once in a while? I know there are extremes circumstances sometimes, but children are not going to learn if they don't have experience with how they are expected to behave.
How does a child learn how to behave in a resturant?? A parent should prepare the child for what's to come, lay out expectations & consequences, and then follow through with them immediately. If I behaved well during church, I got to buy a piece (yes, A piece) of candy on the way home. If I acted up, I was removed from the service and taken home. Period. I learned very quickly how to behave.
Lori,
No one should mind if a baby starts crying and the parent immediately addresses the issue. What people do get upset over are the people who refuse to parent and subject the rest of us to their misbehaving progeny. If the kid cries, I am annoyed. If the parent tries to fix it, then I am still annoyed, but I have compassion. If the parent ignores it, then I despise them both.
My mother didn't take me to eat in a restaurant until I was 7 years old. Somehow, I managed to know what to do in that situation just fine. I learned table manners at home and learned how to act in public at school. I didn't have to go to a restaurant from an early age to know how to act in one when I finally was taken to one. Your argument is ridiculous.
I am 67 years old. I was raised in a small (2,000 people) town in the Deep, DEEP South. We ate out a lot because my mother was a working widow. From the time I can remember, I wore a coat and tie when we ate out; I was expected to observe proper decorum. Mother also sang in the choir; the choir kids sat in the front pew. We didn't have coloring books or toys ... we were expected to sit still and listen. Mother NEVER hit me, but every woman in that choir had perfected The Look ™, and that was all that was required. I went straight from that front pew to the organ bench, where I stayed for 50 years. Prior to the social and religious upheavals of the 1960s, Episcopal and Catholic churches were perpetually SILENT ... before, during, and after services.
We were taught to say "ma'am" and "sir" ... I remember a few years ago when my young doctor asked me why I called him "sir" ... I said, "I was raised to be respectful."
Sadly, it's a different world today ... parents, schools and churches all have a measure of blame to bear. And I don't know how one would make the massive course correction that would be required to "fix" things.
Amen to that
Yes, it's a different world today, but you're not alone. I would welcome you as a neighbor, Raymond.
Yes the Catholic church was indeed silent, silent when it came to all the abuse its priests were inflicting on young children. The rest of your post I agree with.
I a restaurant owner, I am appalled at what some parents allow their children to do in my restaurant. I had one set of parents that allowed their children to jump off the chairs onto the ceramic tile floor. Recently a family came with 4 small kids and allowed the kids to write on the wall with ketchup. Accidents happen, yet, but this was intentional. The parents never even noticed. I gave each of the kids a towel and had them clean their mess. Some parents will just ignore a screaming kid, much to the detriment of other diners. Some parents will take the screaming child to the restroom or outside until the child calms down. Overall, I'm pretty shocked at the lack of discipline and the lack of consideration shown to others. My restaurant is a decent place, not a dive. My customers expect a peaceful environment. They don't get it with a screaming kid and nonchalant parents. I would never be able to post a policy about taking a screaming kid outside. Fortunately, we don't often have a bad experience with kids.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – oooooooh Robin, that is simply just the funniest thing I have heard this year – no, this decade!! You have a sense of humor that is only eclipsed by your comedic brilliance. Dare I ask if you have ever considered a career as a standup comedian – nay, upon re-reading your hilarious comment, I realize that you must be in the industry already. All hail to Robin, the original funny-man (DOOFUS).
Are you OK Bob? What was wrong with Robin's comment?
Bob are you ok? How many fingers am I holding up?
I worked in a very upscale restaurant for a couple of years, and not once but TWICE I saw a parent changing their child's diaper ON THE TABLE. Top that!
Krush, just be glad that you don't have to live in that home and fear for the child.
I think you should have told them to leave! What is wrong with people?
I go to restaurant quite often and I have noticed that more than 90 percent of the time : parents of children from Arab countries and from Africa let their very young children and babies cry out and wail their heads off with impunity. They don't even try to make them stop. While the most behaved babies and who never cry are mostly Asians.
Interesting observation. I would yell at those parents that let their kids do that, if they ignored me I would throw my shoes at them.
The Asians (those who are not too "Americanized") definitely know a thing or two about parenting...I hardly ever see a disrespectful Asian child in public.
I think they should ban really fat people from restaurants, they are disgusting to look at. Also, people with disabilities they make me feel bad inside and that’s not what I want.
Jerk!
Sorry to disappoint you but fat people (as you refer to them) are excellent patrons and most of them are very generous tipsters much more than the "skinny ones". People with disabilities are a joy to serve and they let you know it that they appreciate a good service. I know that for a fact because my mom worked as a waitress for than 18 years before buying her own establishment.
what the hell is wrong with you? Yes, I know, fat people are sometimes gross to look at, but they are still good people and they make a good sum of the restaurant's money they earn.
I see. You think you're making a valid point that wanting to ban fat people or people with disabilities from restaurants is the same thing as wanting to ban screaming children. It's not, and anyone who has been around a fat person and a screaming child knows the difference immediately. You just sound like an idiot.
We once had a ghastly experience at a family themed restaurant, and it was our baby's fault. Our 4 month old started to cry the minute we ordered and didn't stop. My spouse took him outside, I got the meals "to go" and that's how we solved that. The next time we had a problem, it was with a 3 yr old who didn't listen and we were out with friends. I took him out to the car after 2 warnings, my spouse got our meals "to go" and our friends had a nice meal. I would never make others suffer when my kids misbehaved, and may I say the 3 yr old always behaved well in restaurants after that.
Not everyone is as considerate as you, unfortunately. Sometimes I think parents think of the other patrons and wait staff as baby sitters. Kids run wild around the restaurant while we are all having to watch them so they don't get in trouble. I've had to say something to kids because they would have been hurt had I not stopped them. One father was on his laptop while his boy ran back and forth around the restaurant, standing on window sills, etc. I wouldn't mind a child crying for a minute or two if I saw the parents try to stop them. If they realized it was not going to stop, I think they should take them outside or the bathroom. All too many just let them cry or whine.
Good for you Lizzy10. I have taken my children outside or home.
When I drop over $125 on dinner for two– a night away from kids. I deserve that night away from kids. Take kids to "family" places where the customers expect the noise and commotion. But why to people have to take their little monsters to up-scale establishments?
It is up to parents to make the restaurant environment livable for kids. Experienced parent's know that adults don't like waiting or sitting still and it is even harder for small kids. Most restaurant and other seating is uncomfortable. We made everyone's life easier by a little planning and accommodating our child's needs. The rules and expectations were explained ahead of time. 1. We ordered our children' meals before we were seated. Restaurants were very accommodating little people. 2. We brought snacks and coloring books and other playthings to use the waiting time constructively. 3. I developed Mikee's rule that allowed our children get out of their seats and stretch but one hand had to remain on the table. There was no opportunity to get run over or trip a serving person. If the hand strayed than the child was firmly placed back in their seat. 4. A child who was crying or out of control was quickly removed from the dining area until they settled down. We were always welcomed back to local restaurants. Also remember that parents may not have good choices of restaurants while traveling. We had to put up with a lot of smoke filled joints on the highway because there wasn't good choices nearby. Remember you were once a little person.
...And if all parents acted like you, this article and these policies wouldn't be necessary.
In reading all these comments, it sounds like the majority of you all experience complete mayhem when you go out to eat. Screaming children running and climbing everywhere, and comatose parents starring blankly at the wall. I, personally, rarely have a dining experience that is marred by screaming children. I guess I am lucky, because it sounds like a jungle out there for everyone else.
no, they just all eat at places like dennys and applebees and think its "fancy"
You sir hit the nail on the head. *slow clap*
Parents, I am the father of 5 grown children. My wife and I don't want to see your snot-nosed kids and we don't want to hear them crying when we're paying to eat out for a meal. Either leave them at home with a babysitter or eat at home. Thank you.
P.S. I served in the church toddler room for nearly two decades.
I love Christians because they can say and do whatever they want.
I'd bet your kids still live at home. I agree with you that parents need to respect others and take there kids outside. I don't agree with your assessment of children in general and really don't care if you or your wife don't want to see kids. If i knew who you were I would suggest to your pastor you shouldn't be with children.
I actually praise this gentleman for demanding respect from the parents of the uterus droppings. You're going to tell his pastor he shouldn't be around children because he expects respect from those children and their parents? This is actuallyt he type of person who DOESN'T have kids living at home... You must be the average lazy self righteous American...How many Playstations did you buy the kids this year?
A crying child doesn't really bother me, or most people, as long as the parents act quickly. It is natural. But lately I noticed a lot of parents just let their child scream or run around and expect everyone else to be okay with it. It's like they think every restaurant is a McDonalds with a built in play area.
I think you hit the nail on the head. It can be natural for some kids to cry, but the parents better act real quick. The problem seems to be more parents who could not care less...and that's what shows such rudeness to others around them.
I also agree, if the parents are trying to fix the problem I am sympathetic and will do whatever I can to help. I was in a fairly nice restraurant where the parents allowed thier young child to play the violin (badly) while they just read the paper. We left, the restaurant closed a few months later. Coincidence?
What is the difference with an unruly person, a large group of people, a small size family disrupting dinner, a couple, teenagers, preteens and or a baby disrupting anyone's restaurants experience? Nothing. All shouldn't happen and all can easily be rectified by either being quiet or being kicked out. If a ban is in place to keep one or all from happening then by all means I'm going there. Period.
People need to be personally accountable for their actions. END!
I'm fed up with parents who don't set boundaries for their kids. Can't control when they are young? you sure won't be able to as they get older. The 'me' generation thinks the rules and good manners don't apply to them. I take my business to any place that had some rules about kids.
Americans and others in America do not have common courtesy manners any longer and they certainly don't raise their children to be well-mannered in public. Today's kids are taught that the entire world revolves around them; their clueless parents don't get that they are harming their children by being their friends instead of a parent. Children need structure! I don't mean they need a beating if they act up in a restaurant or in public but there is nothing wrong with parents being the decision makers. Today's kid: goes to bed when they want, eats what they want (nice obesity rates to go with this attitude), wear what they want, stays out as late as they want; they can't spell, read, or write but their parents think their kids are brilliant. They're not, just the opposite. I'm tired of bratty children when I'm shopping or eating. Stores and restaurants need to grow a pair and ask the parents to take the kid outside or to leave their establishment. We need to bring America back to America (manners and courtesy).
Not my problem the parents are too lazy, stupid, or cheap to hire a babysitter. Go to a kiddie restaurant and wear matching Bozo bibs for all I care. Just keep the kid quiet while I'm there dropping a big pile of hard earned cash on my lady.
Lets ban old people from Disneyland
You can take your Disneyland and stick it up your Magic Kingdom
I would also like to see them ban; swearing adults, scantly clothed women, anyone taking a cell phone call, anyone checking their fb status update at the table,women with annoying laughter, teenagers with colored highlights, cat owners, loud salesmen, picky eaters, people wearing torn jeans, and annoying pregnant women who has to get up and use the bathroom all the time. Thanks
YUP
I saw a sign in a Chicago pizzaria banning more than 7 cell phones per booth – tongue in cheek!
And what about people with colds who sit there and cough, sneeze and make gross, nasty noises while you are trying to eat. I would rather listen to a baby cry
I think a restaurant owner has every right to set their own rules when it comes to bringing babies and young screaming children to restaurants. Why must parents insist in bringing their misbehaved toddler to a fine dining experience? We have baby sitters and Chuckee Cheese, you know?
I, for one, can't stand a screaming child, however, I had two children and took them everywhere and they NEVER screamed or carried on.We used to get complements from other customers about how well behaved they were. I made it a point to never go to places like Cheese Factory because of the screaming children and their loud boisterous parents. I didn't want my children to learn any bad habits from them. How is a child to learn that it is inappropriate to carry on if the rest of the clientele are doing just that. When I took my children to the park, they knew it was OK to run around. But if I took them to the park to learn to sit quietly, it would be a useless lesson.
I say, if a child is screaming, ask the parents to leave! Don't punish the rest who have well behaved youngsters. I still eat out often and would not patronize an establishment that banned children. And our local restaurant owners who read this post might be surprised if they know who wrote it. You see, I am the kind of customer who will keep a restaurant going in hard times. My husband and I eat out four or five times a week. Ban the children and you have effectively banned us. I say, ask the parents to take a crying child out.
Children don't belong in adult restaurants. There are plenty of places where families can go to eat, such as fast-food outlets, diners and eateries that cater to families. Nicer restaurants aren't right for noisy, jumpy children. I get angry when parents let their children stare, scream, make faces, run wild, throw food, and sometimes make nasty comments about people around them. My money is as good as anyone else's. It's their parents fault—so they should have to spend time alone with their obnoxious offspring until they get them behaving like civilized humans who can then be out in public without bothering others.
So, if the child is better behaved than some of the adults in the restaurant, then ban them anyway just because they are young. I have been to many restaurants where I have encountered obnoxious customers and they were in their 20s to 30s.
My children never cried, screamed, talked loudly, ran around, jumped on the chairs, threw food or were rude in any way to other customers, or the employees. I can' t say that about all the adults who frequented these restaurants. Now when I eat out, I find that the adults are loud and obnoxious. They use profanity and don't care how loud they are. They don't need a screaming child to be obnoxious.
Restaurants are privately owned businesses that sell 1) perishable goods that need to be sold right away, and 2) an atmosphere that's pleasant for dining. You take that away with a screaming child, and you take away their business, their paycheck, their employees' paychecks. Most restaurants are struggling, and can't afford a loss in income. They are PRIVATE businesses and legally can ban anybody for any reason. Race and religion are poor reasons to ban customers, but screaming children are a good reason.
Not all crying kids are "brats", but they need a time-out, not a cushy seat in a crowded restaurant.
Not all children scream and cry in restaurant. Mine are grown now, but they were VERY well behaved in restaurants. We were a family who liked to eat out, from the time they were born, my children were with us and they ate their first solid foods in restaurants. They are grown now, but I would still not eat at a restaurant that outright banned children. Make the parents be responsible for the children. If you ban children outright, both the parents and their children will not learn that their behavior is unacceptable. Lets not be a nanny society and prevent consequences because we can't lay out rules of behavior in public places. In the interest of not wanting to have to confront a parent with an obnoxious child, banning all children just punishes those who are trying to teach their children appropriate behavior. And yes, they are out there. They were so quiet that you didn't notice they were in the same restaurant.
I worked in a restaruant in high school and now 30+ years later. Families were much better with their children back then. Now, I have seen kids throwing tantrums, running around bothering other patrons, throwing food, running loose in the restroom unsupervised reaking havoc. The parents just sit on their butts doing nothing about their kids. I acutally had parents thank me for yelling at their kids for acting like fools in the bathroom. I had one woman who text the entire hour and a half during her dinner with her 6 year old. He eventually slipped away, she had not idea he was gone, and was running around the restaurant. He fell coming down a ramp. She finally noticed him once he fell. She stood up to yell at him and I whipped around an gave her the look of death because she had no clue. In a stearn voice I told him to get up and get back to his table. She left shortly after that. Parents do not act like parent any longer. I often wonder what makes them think they can let their kids act like that. Maybe they don't care or are just selfish. I have had some parents take their crying child outside then come back in with a calmer child....THANK YOU!
What I truely love is the parent who thinks it is okay for their child to completely trash a table and the floor. I have a child and he was never aloud to act like that or to disrupt others.
Then again I have had 18 year olds and 30 year old trash a table the same way some 4 year olds do. Seriously, a 40 year old put salt and pepper shakers in full glasses of water...really!
At this point I will not even go into how completely ignorant some people are to the 15% tip rule. Teach your children restaurant and tipping etiqutte!!! Please! Some servers only get 2.50 and hour and depend on their tips!!
hear, hear!! I totally agree!
What ever happened to parents teaching young children about manners and being polite in public settings. If I walk into a restaurant and hear a screaming kid, Im going to walk right back out. Well if I expected it I would put up with it, like a Denny's but I rarely incline to eat at that place. Some parents may threaten NOT to eat at these locations that don't allow small children, but I know more people will be willing to eat at these locations because of it. It is like restaurants opting to have a smoke free restaurant before the ban. The place I went was always busy because of this and I feel it could have a similar effect. Granted that smoking and a screaming child don't go hand and hand with each other but for me I like to enjoy the experience of dining out especially if I am paying more for it.
It's not always the parents' fault that the kids are screaming. Some children have autism or other neurological disorders and don't behave normally no matter what. That being said, those children shouldn't be brought to restaurants.
The reason a child is screaming is irrelevant. Autism. Earache. Tired. Hungry. Doesn't matter. A screaming child should be taken out of the room until they settle down. Of course, you're absolutely right – if it's a known problem ahead of time, the child should stay at home. BTW I know a few families with autistic or ADHD children who have worked with their children and can now take them out to public places with little or no problem. My brother had ADHD, but he still learned how to behave correctly in public. I feel sorry for the kids whose parents use it as an excuse/crutch and never teach them how to be functional in society. Obviously, there are some cases too extreme to do this, but many can be taught/coached to join the world and are happier for it.
I agree full heartedly with Happy Mom! My son has a form of autism and a touch of milk ADHD. He used to be a nightmare to take into public but I was determined to help him learn acceptable behavor and NOT let his learning disabilities hold him back from a normal life. He knows how to act when we go out to eat and while we're shopping now. But like any other kid he does have the occasional meltdown and that is when I remove him from the store and wait til he calms down. I refuse to allow him to use his learning disabilities as a crutch because I have seen so many inspiring stories of people who have triumphed and thrived beyond their "limitations". I've seen a little boy with no hands drawn beautiful works of art. Heck, I think I even read somewhere that Einstein had a learning disability and we all know how that ended!
mild ADHD not milk lol
What ever happened to parents teaching young children about manners and being polite in public settings. If I walk into a restaurant and hear a screaming kid, Im going to walk right back out. Well if I expected it I would put up with it, like a Denny's but I rarely incline to eat at that place. Some parents may threaten NOT to eat at these locations that don't allow small children, but I know more people will be willing to eat at these locations because of it. It is like restaurants opting to have a smoke free restaurant before the ban. The place I went was always busy because of this and I feel it could have a similar effect. Granted that smoking and a screaming child don't go hand and hand with each other but for me I like to enjoy the experience of dining out especially if I am paying more for it.
I also wish movie theaters would ban babies or small children from some movies. I'm not talking about G and PG movies because that is expected. Most parents having common courtesy to not do this, but how hard is to find a sitter for a couple of hours...
There shouldn't have to be a ban of any kind. All people should have the courtesy to respect others. If your kid becomes a disruption, tell them to stop and if they don't stop immediately, remove them from the [theater, restaurant, whatever]. That way, kids learn boundaries and that actions have consequences. They also learn to be respectful adults. The same kids who are allowed to be a nuisance turn into the idiot adults who attend a movie with a constant hacking cough or who text or talk during a movie. Get out! We need people to have respect at all stages. Learning respect doesn't start at age 18.
Unfortunately respect is dying along with chivalry. Not just in children but adults as well. Adults on both sides of the fence need to relearn respect, judging from the comments on this wall.
I would just like to say that as a mother, I understand that it's rude to take a child to a fancy restaurant the way it's rude to talk loudly on your phone at dinner. I understand the ban because some people don't cooperate with certain standards when left up to them. That being said, I think if it's not a fancy restaurant where you are paying for the experience, it's important not to single out certain people that inconvenience you in public, and ask them not to participate in daily life. Your life changes as a parent, but it shouldn't have to change meaning you can't live life or go to a restaurant now and then. Of course, I am all for disciplining your children and doing your best to keep them quiet (as I said, comparable to keeping your voice low on a cell phone), but I am also understanding if something does go wrong, and don't immediately jump to conclusions about parenting ability. As a mother of a toddler, I know I won't bring him to the nicest place in town, but sitting down at the Olive Garden every once in a while shouldn't be frowned upon because my family doesn't meet your specific standards for the perfect meal. (no, i don't let him run or scream, but he may babble or giggle a little bit louder than a normal conversation volume).
Oh, please. I'm a public school teacher, and it's parents like you who send us their whiny, lazy, coddled brats and expect everyone to bend the rules. When my own kids were toddlers and started crying in public, as babies will do, I took them out to soothe (not punish) them in private so as not to disturb everyone else. Sounds like YOU are the problem, not your kids.
Thank you, well said.
LOL so happy you're just the kind of rude obnoxious people to teach our children.
My child is very well behaved for a toddler, and I certainly remove him when he's crying – but thank you for your rude and assuming feedback, it allows me to appreciate that I school teachers I know are well mannered, kind-hearted and understanding.
You are so right text girl! I work in a county park, as a sub, and as a Cashier in a home improvement store and the behavior parents lit their kids get away with is discusting.
Hmm Olive Garden is a little bit more towards fancy in my book. I'd never take my kids there. Other than that I agree with you. We have a place around the corner called the Blue Ox. It says specifically on the sign that it's a Family Diner. I take my kids there because it's for families. Thats the nicest place I take my kids though. Usually if the kids are with us we go to fast food places. We save the nicer fancier places for when mommy and daddy want to have a date night.
Well we don't have Olive Gardens here, maybe I made a mistake as to what kind of restaurant it's like... It just seems kind of kitschy to me
yes, nothing more romantic than taking a date out for a "fancy" dinner at the olive garden for some boxed wine and a total bill of approximately $40. they even give you andies mints with the bill....how fancy!
If I'm spending more than $10 on my plate of food then I find it fancy. Plus when I went there it wasn't like McDonalds. Sure it's not hoity toity high class but it's not a family diner either. And if you were my husband you wouldn't be complaining about me thinking thats fancy because it just means I'm a cheaper and much easier to please date/wife.
Please. If your kid(s) are not going to be quiet and behaved, don't even go to a resturant. I don't want to pay my good money only to have to listen to your unruly kids.
Rick, its as though you didn't even read my post...
A little babbling and giggling is one thing. Being loud voiced and disruptive without a parent's intervention from time to time is another. You may attend to your child when he crosses that line but some do not and expect everyone else to think "Awwwee isn't he cute when he throws salad and giggles". There are more of the latter than the former these days. That is what is making people's nerves raw...
My mom didn't take us kids to a restaurant until we were older than five years old. I agree with her that restaurants and movie theatre's are not the place for babies; they should be kept home until they are capable of handling themselves as adults.
My son is turning 7 and still hasn't gone to a theater. I don't think he could sit still long enough. But I have been taking my kids to family diners and fast food places since they were born. Obviously I wouldn't take them to a fine restaurant, but if it's a place that caters to kids you bet your butt I'm going there. If you can't stand kids, then don't go to places that are overly kid friendly. If the sign for the establishment says "Family" in it somewhere then chances are it's going going to be a relaxing place to go!
no offense, but at almost 7, i think your kid is old enough to go to the movies. i'm assuming you mean movies by theatre. at what age do you start to take him places to teach him how to conduct him self. if a 6 1/2 and he can't sit long enough in a chair for an hour watching a kid movie, maybe you need to rethink your parenting skills.
My son is special needs. He knows how to act in a restaurant but he would flip out in a movie theater when the lights went out. He's also a chatter and doesn't know when to close his mouth. He knows to talk low in a restaurant setting but a movie theater is different. I do also have a four year old anyways, which is the bigger reason we haven't tried to take him yet since we'd have to take her too.
Grow up, become an adult and grasp the reality that kids cry. I would much rather hear a kid crying than some jack ass talking at the top of their voice on their blue tooth or some teenager playing their stupid noisy game on their Ipad. Leave the crying babys alone and worry about something that matters.
Stephen, I'm well aware that kids cry. And I would like them to do it as far away from me as possible, especially when I'm paying good money to enjoy a nice meal. I would also like the loud jackass and annoying teenager to stay away from me, but that's not what this article is about, is it?
"Grow up"? How long did it take you to think of that? Ban them all, please - crying brats, loudmouth talkers, and obnoxious, pompous know-it-alls like you.
OR leave the crying brats at home where they belong. WE DON'T WANT THEM.
Amen to that!
YOU MUST BE THE 1%ers!!!!!!
The stupid parents not concerned about the stupid kid screaming, is interrupting my evening with my lady. So yes, I will have something to say about it, whether it p.o.'s somebody or not. As for you, take a hike twit bwaaaaay.
You've gotta be kidding me, right?
Gee. OK Dad. Thanks for the attitude check.
Thanks God my kid is almost 17.....I cant stand kids under the age of 10....I am so glad that some resturants re standing up and saying no to ppl like you....annoying ppl that like kids to scream, cry and whatever else they do....leave them at home hate kids
Kids having Kids...this IS the problem. They Gotz NO Daddy, Their Momma is a Crack Hoe and the only nutrition they get is by licking Food Stamps. Our President has ordered that Vitamin C be added to the glue on the Food Stamps. Get a Life People.
You're a F#*kin' idiot.
I'm more popular than Oprah and Jerry Springer combined. Go back to Faux News...Shepard Smith needs a Hand.
Most Crack Hoes don't go to high end restaurants hell most of them could care less about eating.
I have 6 kids and only 2 times have I ever had to take them outside because of the way they were acting. 1 time my husband took the 4 oldest outside and they ate in the car it only took 1 time for them to know better and 1 time my baby was 9 months old he was not ACTING UP but we took turns going out side with him he just did not want to be there at that time. I am 62 now and when I go places and hear some of these children it make me mad at the parents. Ever been in a department store and heard a child screaming I WANT IT? Yep it is the parents place to do something or take the children home and let them scream all they want. Oh by the way ALL 6 of my children say maam and sir even now and all but 1 is in in their 40's.
The sad part is there is almost no where you can go these days where you don't see children. Liquor stores...there is a father in there with his kid. The mall at 11am on a school day, there is a mother there for some reason with her 8 year old child. Restaurants after 9pm, Bars, children.
My husband and I went to Vegas this past fall. At 1 am we were watching 'parents' strolling their babies through the casinos and around walking their small children down sidewalks. Seriously?
You can easily tell if a restaurant is children friendly. If a restaurant offers children's menu, provides crayons and high chairs, then this kind of policies would be wrong. But if you're going somewhere that is clearly adult oriented, say hollywood dinner hot spot, then it'll be silly for parents to bring their kids there. But aren't they discriminating against children (age) specifically in this instance? If it says loud patrons will be ask to leave (those on the cell phone, people being drunk and loud, etc), then sure that would include children, but they say specifically crying babies.....
I am game as long as adults without kids are banned from Disneyland. Same disruptive behavior concerns apply and last I checked toddlers in restaurants don't molest adults. Or if you want to be reasonable, institute adult-only/family-only days and hours so that each group can fully enjoy public spaces without denying the same to others.
Your a special kind of stupid arent you?
Tell you what, Oleg. You keep all kids out of my sight or hearing and you will never see me at Disneyland. Do we have a deal?
Or better yet...
Be a responsible adult and control your children. Why is it so many adults are afraid to actually parent? It's pathetic. If you can't be a responsible parent, don't have kids. It's really that simple.
What on earth does this have to do with nursing? I've worked in many restaurants and eat out frequently, and I've never heard of a nursing policy. I've also seen (and heard) children well beyond nursing age being unpleasant.
Er, this was supposed to be a response to JanetFromMD, but somehow it didn't end up there.
If you must go out. Chucky Cheese?
If your kid is a screamer but you really must have dinner at a restaurant, the solution is simple– order in. Lots of restaurants do take-out. My idea of a nice date night or dinner with friends doesn't involve a screaming child, neither mine nor someone else's. Is having to stay away from fine dining establishments for a few years until your kid is old enough to sit still– and maybe even actually appreciate the experience– the most awful thing in the world? Everyone always says ,"They grow up so fast!" Well then, it won't be long until you're back at your favorite date night spot.
You are right. Babies and Kids do not need to go to restaurants. It's a parental choice that they are imposing on the rest of us. Babies do need to nurse, need to cry, and even need to dirty their diapers. But they do not need to go to restaurants. Order in. Cook in. Hire a babysitter. Leave them with Mom, Dad, Sis, friends. Anything but taking them into a restaurant full of adults trying to enjoy a dinner out.
Besides, to parents I say, YOU chose to have the babies. They are only babies and toddlers for a few years anyway. If you think family life is cramping your style, then why in the world did you have them to begin with?!
Owners have the right to decide how they want to treat the issue. There are always other options out there for a family dinner with toddlers. Daddy x3
I'm left nearly speechless with joy... THERE IS A GOD!!! Send the screaming brats and their abjectly clueless parents packing! I have a 'dear' sister who had two unmanageable and obnoxious kids who was offended when we refused to go out to dinner with them after about the umpteenth too many public spectacles. I've never regretted it for one second... although she and her husband weren't embarrassed by their stinking brats we were and I would not tolerate that myself of my children and was in awe that they were so inanely ignorant, discourteous, disrespectful and crass. Stupid parents raise stupid children... and you wonder why this nation is such a mess on so many levels? Look in the mirror America!
I know exactly what you mean.
I know a couple who would take their young children to restaurants all the time. That alone isn't the problem though. The problem was their children would run around the table, cry loudly at times, and would act like unruly children that were raised by wolves while people around us were trying to eat. In fact, most of their food would end up under the table. To top it off, the parents never tried to calm them down, never told them to stop making a mess, and never tipped. I was incredibly embarassed every single time we ate out together and would often double or even triple my tip because I felt so bad for the waitstaff and others around us. If you can't be a responsible adult and parent, then you shouldn't have children in the first place and you should never take them out in public until you can.
Add all retail establishments to the list of places that should ban or limit crying and/or screaming kids. Many parents think it is perfectly acceptable to continue to do their grocery shopping with a crying, screaming baby in the cart and all other shoppers should put up with it What a crock. I don't go to shopping to listen to crying, screaming kids. Get a clue parents.
Parent of teenagers who left when they cried as babies.
There's a big difference between a crying baby in a grocery store setting and a crying baby in a restaurant.
I'm going to have to disagree with you. Children acting poorly in ANY public, non-child-specific place should be taken outdoors immediately!
I totally understand the restaurant gripe – but the grocery store? I have a special needs daughter who cannot talk so what comes out sounds like screaming – it's annoying. I know it. I wish to God it would stop, but unfortunately it doesn't. We still need groceries. I think the grocery store is an unreasonable place to demand "silence". Sometimes it's NOT the parents fault. I personally find old people annoying but somehow I manage to co-exist. Tolerance on some level is just common courtesy.
My son is special needs as well, but he did outgrow the loud speaking and is now the most polite child you could ever meet. He wouldn't be this way if not for taking him with me and teaching him how to behave! My husband works full time and I don't have any relatives who could watch my children while I go grocery shopping. It's unreasonable for someone to think I should pay for a babysitting everytime I need to go to the store for food! But I do set rules for my kids when we are out. If they run around they are put in the "bratty baby seat" in the cart. If they continue to misbehave then I take them outside until they calm down. If that doesn't work we head home with nothing. I am doing my job as a parent and shouldn't be told I can't go out in public just because some parents don't know how to handle their kids.
Maybe if restaurants had a more liberal policy on mothers nursing their babies in their restaurants, there would be fewer crying babies. My daughter, son-in-law, and 1 year old grandson eat out frequently and I know of only one time they had to leave voluntarily because my grandson decided to have a screaming fit.
Maybe those moms should plan their time more adequately and nurse the baby BEFORE going out to eat? What? It usually takes about an hour or hour and a half to get through a meal at a restaurant? I don't know what baby needs to be nursed EVERY hour. I nursed my baby before going on an outing...It's common sense. I'm not putting down mothers who nurse in public out of necessity. I'm putting down mothers who obviously suck at planning their time a bit more adequately and enjoy putting on a show. There are many moms who purposely pop out their chest in a public place when it's not necessary...Wacko feminists. And if your son/daughter had to leave the restaurant because of a screaming toddler I praise them for making the RIGHT decision.
Babies need to nurse. Go for it. I wouldn't pull my breast out in public but if that yanks your chain by all means have fun. But babies don't need to be in restaurants. If a baby can nurse, it can scream its lungs out too. Restaurants full of adults trying to enjoy an evening out IS NO PLACE FOR BABY! Some of those adults paid good money for a baby sitter only to be subjected to your crying monster.
Breastfeeding is a very private act that no one else should have to watch. Sure, it's natural, so is defecating and fornicating but you can't do those in public!
This just makes toooo much sense :)
You could always avert your eyes if breastfeeding offends you. It's hard to avert your ears when poor excuses for parents can't be bothered to tend their screaming children though.
I'll tell you one thing, I looooove seeing breasts in public. I'd prefer to not have to see a baby hanging off them, but it still beats dropping a C-note at the strip joint. What I don't understand is why people then throw a fit when I pull my junk out in appreciation. This is just a biological male response to having breasts flashed in a public place. If you don't like seeing my junk, then don't look. It's not my responsibility to be the gatekeeper of your decency. My boys are as natural as the day is long. Enjoy.
Very much by choice, I do not have kids. I don't particularly like kids and am not comfortable around them. I have not inflicted my offspring on you, I don't see any reason to have yours inflicted on me. Absolutely restaurants should be able to have a policy covering kids and bad parents. I would definitely seek out kid-free establishments.
Okay... when I was little and got grumpy, my parents would leave so as not to disturb other people. It isn't rocket science! I don't understand why people feel inclined to make the world put up with their screaming children. To you... it is your pride and joy just being a little out of sorts... to the rest of us, it is like scratching a chalkboard at 110 decibles. i.e. it's REALLY ANNOYING NOISE POLLUTION. Yeah, it bites to have to leave but think how others feel.
I am a waitress who has worked in the pancake-type restaurants, family-style restaurants, and upscale restaurants over the course of my years. It doesn't matter the type of establishment or the economic status of the venue; ignorant and self-entitled parents are an epidemic in this country! Wait staff must entertain, cajole, provide free food, wipe noses, babysit, and clean up after the obnoxious rug rats because parents don't want to be bothered wtih dealing with the distraction. Our tips go down if we don't placate parents and make them think that their kid is the most prescious thing since the Hope Diamond. Take it from this waitress: the only one who thinks your kid is cute is YOU!
I tend to agree with this. I pay attention to my children no matter where I am and people act like I'm a bad parent because I'm scolding them for bad behavior when in reality them not telling little Timmy to stop climbing over the back of his seat into the booth behind him is bad parenting and just plain rude. But banning isn't the way to go with this. Not all parents are bad, just rare. These establishments should put into effect strict rules. Your kid runs around or makes too much noise and you're going to be asked to leave.
I totally agree with you. I can't believe the huge mess that these parents let their children make while dining out. I see tons of food on the floor under the tables and chairs and the wait staff ends up having to clean that up. I wonder what the homes of these children look like. I love children. What I don't love is their parents who don't want to be parents. They want to be their friends. You cannot be friends with your toddlers. It's not what they need. They need love, guidance, and rules. It's a plain and simple fact. I could care less if it makes these parents upset because restaurant patrons want to eat in peace. I don't like spending my money on a nice meal only to have it ruined by a screaming child who is starved for attention from his/her parents. I see the parents completely ignoring their child while they visit or check their smart phones during the entire meal. My meal is then ruined and I am stressed out from hearing the screaming and the anger I feel toward a parent who prefers to just ignore the pleadings of their child. They should be considerate of others and take the child outside out of earshot of the customers. I don't know what has happened to our society. It's full of self centered, self absorbed idiots, who want to have children but don't want the responsibility of disciplining and guiding them as they grow up.
It feels so good to post amongst sane, considerate people.
The next time some brat starts screaming next to you in a restaurant, movie, plane, etc. just do what I do: start screaming, at the top of your lungs, until the parent does something. I guarantee I can scream much, much louder.
You know the funny thing? My downstairs neighbor, the 'dad' does this to his 3 month old son to get him to stop screaming. I think its the only form of parenting he knows....scream at it till it shuts up. Horrible people, white trash.
You leave your barking dog at home... and feed it at home. Do the same with your crying child.
Considering some parents already put a leash on their child that is rather funny.
It depends on how the restaurant would handle it, but i wouldn't band kids over all. Its a bit extreme to band kids over all. But seriously if your kid is running around the room like an idiot, the parents better take in consideration that there are other people there and it's not just them. For me i wouldn't band kids over all, restaurants are about having a family dinner and without the kids it's not a family dinner.
"Restaurants are about having a family dinner..."
According to whom?
I agree, banding children is a bad idea.
Banning them, on the other hand, sounds reasonable.
We have family dinners at home, and dinners out with family. Semantics? Sure, but don't think that just because you showed up somehow you are the only patron that matters...if I wanted a noisy, out of control kid at my family dinner I would go to Chuck E Cheese or McDonalds Playland.
I think it's common sense....Don't take your babies/toddlers out if it's their nap time, they're sick, or it's bedtime. If a child acts up, quickly remove them from the situation. Shouldn't manners be taught at home first? How to sit around the dining room table, how to eat properly (for their age), how to use manners already? If children cannot act right, then find a sitter or don't go. People who go to restaurants pay money to eat in peace, why should someone else's child ruin that? My bigger pet peeve are loud children at church...that gets me to no end....
wow your biggest pet peeve is loud children at church? As my favorite priest said "the church welcomes everyone".
When I was a child, in the 50's, our church had what was called a crying room. It was usually full & no one objected.
Its the parents who refuse to control their children that push stroes and restaurants to make rules to MAKE them do thier job. Dont have kids if your not going to take care of them, you paid for a meal NOT a baby-sitter
I smoke but my husband doesn't. He preferred to sit in the smoking section in restaurants because there were seldom children there. Since smoking sections are virtually extinct, we wish the previously segregated non-smoking sections would become non-kid sections.
My parents raised us right – AND we could go out and make it through an entire meal without ever using a cell phone!
I find it interesting how some posts think this is about intolerance and that must mean childless adults. It would be interesting to see how many people are actually parents. I would venture to say a high majority. I for one have/had kids and would never even think to subject others to any type of unruly behavior.
I totally agree. My 3 year old son will get a bit loud once in a while and one of us will take him for a walk. The ormal kid noise is fine and I suppose as a parent you can tune some of that out. The parents who allow there kids to throw a fit though, and not remove them. That is just horrible parenting.
I have 6 children...I took my children outside, asked for the check if necessary and cleaned up their messes instead of leaving it for wait staff. And I like the idea of banning children. I think manners are taught at home, and are an extension of a persons parenting.
Not often, but when my son (he's 7 now) remarks that "those kids are loud" or "those kids are being bad" you know something is up. A lot of times it is large groups of people gathered who basically ignore the kids because they want to visit. One of the worst is when the infant is experimenting with their voice and are really loud and screaming, in a fairly upscale restaurant with cement floors. They did nothing.
I work at a public library and we once had to tolerate a child screaming at ear-splitting volume for 20 minutes continuously. I asked my manager if we could have the mother remove the child and he told me we are not allowed to tell people how to parent. Many people trying to read and study left disgusted by our inaction. It is now considered rude to tell someone they are being rude.
That would make me so mad to have a screaming baby in the public library! We went out to eat one day at a buffet for lunch. We do not do that very often because we don't have much money. The children in our area were running around unattended and being really loud. Their "mother", for lack of a better term-spent the whole time on her cell phone. Two of the children came up to my table and grabbed food off of MY plate! We said something to the mother and asked her to kindly keep an eye on her children. The woman started screaming and then we were asked to leave! We had paid for our lunch, sat quietly enjoying the opportunity to eat out and had the whole experience ruined by unruly children and a neglectful mother and spineless management. We have decided that it is just easier to make our own meals and avoid misbehaving children!
It's their restaurant, they can set the rules. But there are places in town that wouldn't allow us in with a 3 yr old, those places no longer get my business. I can vouch that my family of 5, and thanks to negative word of mouth, none of my immediate circle of friends or their families, are visiting those places. If you don't like a policy, vote with your wallet.
Unfortunately for you there are a lot more people without screaming children who are voting with their wallet by patronizing these "kid free" establishments. Threatening them with more income isn't really a viable tactic.
Good. Stay away with your herd. When I have my meal spoiled by screaming kids or brats running amok I ask the parents to either pay for the meal or I will call the cops. I have called the cops several times and each time they throw the parents and their brats out for disturbing the peace.
Well done LND. My sentiments exactly.
Great. Can you send me a list so I can patronize them?
Excellent!! And I'm pretty sure with your attitude and that herd of loud misbehaving children you likely have, I wouldn't want to be ANYWHERE around you. So please, do all civilized people a favor and TAKE YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE.
I do NOT mind noisy infants and children, particularly those who because of circumstances beyond their control are unable to deal with the situation; slow serving or a slow kitchen come to mind.
I DO mind needlessly noisy eating places, who pump in loud music so that they can squeeze diners more closely together.
I DO mind loud talkers, either on cell phones - prohibit those - or to juiced to realize they are obnoxious.
I mind all of those things. INCLUDING the loud children. I blame the parents.
I can see this being a must for a fine dining place but a Pizza place? Heck no. As stated in the article kids learn from experience. If we don't take them out and about they're not going to learn how to behave themselves in public and this is just going to reinforce the trend of bad parenting. They'll end up being the parents with the screaming kids running around too. I'd rather see strict rules about parents having to remove their children if they are screaming or running around. Not just that though, but some restaurants make it hard to keep a kid happy. They make you wait forever for the food and kids get upset if they have to wait too long, hungry or not. Sitting down too long can be frustrating even for an adult. I think they'd get a lot more business if they sat families with kids in a part of the building dedicated towards families that has toys and books provided for kids. Denny's here has a separate room for smokers that actually has a door dividing it from the rest of the restaurant. That's what I have in mind. Don't get me wrong though, I may be a mom but I detest when parents let their kids run around and get under foot. My kids know better than that. But they only know better because of experience and because I got up and reprimanded them for doing it. Another pet peeve though is when I am reprimanding my kids in public for behaving badly a stranger will say something like "Oh, he/she's fine." Don't excuse their bad behavior please! It undoes everything I am trying to teach them!
It's not a restaurant's job to consider, assist in or be held responsible for the raising of your child. I'm quite sure you can find a way to "train" your child without pissing everyone else off.
When did I ever say they would be helping me with my kids? They're not the ones cutting up my child's food or punishing them when they misbehave. That is my job. They're doing nothing more than making the food, which is their job.
Teach them manners at home. Teach them how to eat around the dinner table. I learned at home, only to experience restaurants later. Wake up and smell the coffee. My evening out is NOT a child's training ground.
So we're supposed to keep our kids prisoner until they're adults. That is unrealistic.
Mysterio – I frankly don't care what you do with your kids but keep them out of my face. Spending family time with them at home in the evening and on weekends doesn't sound like prison for them. It may feel like prison to you, but it's a prison of your making. You're extremely selfish if you think it's ok to let your kids ruin other people's dinners (I'm not talking about kids or family places, I referring to restaurants where adults are trying to have a nice evening out). You are so incredibly selfish you won't even hear what I'm saying. Your kids may despise you for it as they get older.
A pizza places is hardly fine dining. I'm not talking about taking my kids to fancy places. I obviously know thats rude and have stated it several times. Just because you don't like kids doesn't mean my children should never get to see the light of day. I don't find it rude to actually let them live life instead of being locked in their rooms like an animal.
All you people who are giving this person a hard time just because they want to take their kids out ARE THE SELFISH ONES.What gives you the right to dictate who should go where and when? If children are disruptive and mis-behaving,then they should be taken care of by the parent(s) and then ,if it continues,the managment should step in and either ask the parent(s) to control their kids or ,if it comes down to it...Leave! But as for telling people they can't bring their children in because there's a chance that it might just disrupt YOUR dinner is HOG-WASH,get over your-selves and selfish ways and learn to be realistic because you can't always have it your way and everyone deserves the freedom of getting out once in awhile.Isn't that what our service people are fighting for,our freedom to do do things?I,for one,love to take my granddaughter out just to get out of the house and have some else cook.You people act like"children should be seen and not heard",well,for me,the sounds and the laughter of a child(ren) is music to my ears.GROW UP YOU SELFISH PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
Would you like us to buy you a house also? If you want a 'room with books and toys' so you can train your kids you must also need a house. I assume that you cannot properly train your kidsto respect you in your own house before you leave it.
I am shocked!
I have six siblings and if one of us would have acted up in public or thrown a fit or wiggled around because or food was taking too long, because if we did then mom or dad would have given us a look and that would have been the last time for a long time that we would have been allowed to go to dinner. And guess what? we were KIDS!
I have 4 children of my own and they were allowed to be kids. We goof around, we are affectionate, we talk. BUT they would never act like the screaming little brats that run rampant in restraunts that ruin our family meals. I do not have an arsenal of toys or electronics. I ENGAGE my children. I talk to them. So this crap that i see everyone spouting about we need to have this and these people are mean, no, grow up and be reponsible parents !
There are lots of kid-friendly pizza places to take a family. The adult-friendly ones are few and far between. I think it's a great idea. I guess I don't understand the problem. There are tons of restaurants where families with children are welcome. What's wrong with a few places offering a pleasant environment for adults to enjoy their meals? I love kids (mine especially!) But sometimes my husband and I just want a night out without kiddos around. We would love to be able to have a pizza parlor date night if there were such a place in our area. Who says only upscale, fancy restaurants should be adult-only?
Pizza places just don't scream "adult atmosphere" to me. Pizza is something I see as a family food(or something a rather large person can eat all by themselves). I can see a coffee place like Starbucks as adult only even if it's not fancy, because kids shouldn't be drinking coffee anyways. I can also see a bar/grill place as adult only even if it's not fancy since most places like that are usually mostly bar and not kid friendly anyways.
I get the impression that this place is a little more upscale "gourmet" type of pizza joint. With so many kid-friendly places out there, why not offer a little nice pizza fare for the grown ups? It seems like others may feel the same way, if his business is continuing to grow. All I know is that as an adult, I would enjoy a pizza night out without the kiddie playland atmosphere. And what about those people who don't have kids – if they want pizza, most of them have to settle for delivery, or put up with little Jimmy's birthday party at the next table over.
MysteriaKiito
Sometimes adults want pizza. Sometimes they want vietnamese. Sometimes they want burgers. It doesn't matter what kind of food the place serves, it matters that adults are trying to have a quiet dinner. Are you saying that if I want pizza, then I am going to have to listen to a bunch of screaming kids? Unless the restaurant has a clown on the front of it, I am going to consider it a restaurant where adults can eat.
If the kids are behaving (it sounds like you keep yours in line) then there is no problem. The problem arrives with the parent who will not address the misbehaving child. If the parents will not voluntarily keep their kids in check, then they should be kicked out to avoid ruining everybody else's dinner.
can't we just eat the babies?
Medium rare baby back ribs!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – oooooooh Todd, that is simply just the funniest thing I have heard this year – no, this decade!! You have a sense of humor that is only eclipsed by your comedic brilliance. Dare I ask if you have ever considered a career as a standup comedian – nay, upon re-reading your hilarious comment, I realize that you must be in the industry already. All hail to Todd, the original funny-man (DOOFUS).
Bob has no penis
We wish he'd eat us. He's mean and has no job.
A Modest Proposal
For Preventing The Children of Poor People in Ireland
From Being A burden to Their Parents or Country, and
For Making Them Beneficial to The Public
By Jonathan Swift (1729)
”I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled ...” from A Modest Proposal.
Now if only the airlines would adopt a similar policy. Parents with unruly children should be required to step outside the plane with them. Parachutes optional.
you guys should not say that i mean what can u do ITS A CRYING BABY i think this is rude and selfish stop with the mean commets Babys should have respect and also u will know u were a babys too.. Just quiet and leave babys alone!
As a parent, you can take the baby to the restroom until they settle down. I did it when my son was a baby. I felt it would have been rude of me to make other people listen to my baby scream while they were trying to enjoy their meals. As he got old enough to understand, he was taught how to behave like a gentleman in public. By the time he started preschool, he knew was was appropriate, and what was unacceptable. Sometimes it's inconvenient, but it's not that hard – really. And it's been awfully nice being able to take him anywhere. He gets lots of compliments on his good behavior (even when I'm not there!)
You should really think before posting. Respect is earned not given. If you have a child fine, it's your child. I don't want to see i,t hear it or smell it when I'm in public. Parents need to learn that not everyone cares about your child.
Oh, and one other thing, when children are between the ages of about 1 & 3, taking them out for dinner is risky at best! Even the best children get tired, fussy, and cannot control themselves. These are the ages when the best idea is to stay home! After all, most kids this age belong in bed by about 7, not out in some restuarant. When our sons were little and we went on vaction, we always spent the money to get a hotel with room service, that way we could take care of them inthe room. A little common sense goes a long way!
I have a 6 year old. She knows how to act in any resturant NOW.....it meant about 5 years of going to "kid" places where she was taught how to behave PROPERLY in a resturant. Were there some meals that were put in a box and taken home because she decided to act crazy, absolutely! Did it mean we went to dinner before 7 because she got to tired after that to mind, YES! Bottom line, there are a couple of age brackets where you just CAN NOT go out to eat with your child. Now that she is older I don't hesitate to go out to eat anywhere because she knows she will sit in her seat, speak in a regular voice tone and use all her manners at the table. It's taken 6 years to get there.....its patience and just plain old common sense, you never EVER take a 2 to 3 year old to a nice restaurant (i.e. anyplace using cloth napkins)
Hey Ichmod – no one cares about your little stinker!!
I think that is anything most rational people are asking for. It might be that most parents are good parents and a few rotten ones spoil it for everyone. It's hard to tell, because one out of control child can ruin dinner for a lot of people in one evening.
I'm 15 and my parents said " If you act up in public, we are going to have the talk." Man, I love my parents for raising me correctly.
Nice will have to use that one for my 13 year old.
I think you have to start before they are 13....
Yeah, my parents started that when I was around early toddler age.
While we are at it lets ban people who talk on cellphones, people who wear too much cologne or perfume(i'm allergic), people who have poor hygene, and anyone who looks like a bum since they also offend my delicate senses. Good grief when does it end? Someone is always going to be upset about something. Kids are going to cry. If you are a parent you already know this. I would rather sit next to a screaming kid than someone talking loudly on a cellphone wearing a gallon of stanky perfume any day of the week.
Entitled parent alert!! www. stfuparents.com
While I don't particularly like this policy, I'm not sure the restaurants have much choice. Personally, I don't like to go somewhere where parents believe everything their child does is cute and/or acceptable. Kids need to be taught what is proper; sit at the table, speak in your inside voice, be considerate and respectful of those around you, all just common manners.
When our girls were little we took all four of them to an upscale restaurant in the city. It was so funny because we could almost see and hear the waitstaff groan and draw for the short straw to see who ended up with our table. Our girls were delightful and well-behaved. As we were leaving, people (including the restaurant staff) complimented us on our happy, well-behaved daughters.
There is very little I find more annoying at a meal than a screaming kid. I have had a glass of wine spilled all over me by a waitress run over by an uncontrolled 6-year-old. I have had kids circling around my barstool. If you cannot control your spawn, then keep them at home or pay a babysitter. If my husband and I go for a relaxing dinner, nothing ruins it more quickly than high-pitched whining and screaming.
It used to be illegal for minors to be at a bar where alcohol is being served. They shouldn't even been in the establishment.
Good grief, it's always going to be something so why don't I just bring in my boom box to listen to my own tunes? Are you serious? Just because there are noisy irritating things putting people on edge and ruining dinner, then it's ok to just add to it? Are you crazy? Leave your kid at home, turn off your cell phone, don't rant in loud voices, the list doesn't end. But not one thing on that list makes it ok for any other. LEAVE THE BABIES AT HOME.
What a grand idea. When we were raising our family our children were taught how to behave when we went out for dinner and if they did not or became a little noisy they were removed from the restaurant. Today differnet thoughts on kids. The little princesses and prince are boss and can do what ever they want. Tell me where to go have dinner without all the fuss and I will go there.
This is not intended as an insult to those with children! If I decide on taking a meal out and pay a good price for it, I don't want my enjoyment interrupted any more than if I go to a movie or a concert. People with children are dismissive of such behavior from their children and the attitudes shown in these comments "that's what children do" is simply no excuse. I will strongly patronize any restaurant that has a no-children policy. That's MY RIGHT and those that don't care if they dine with ill behaving children can go to McDonald's!
Good, i hate babies, i hate children, they are useless, make noise and piss me off wherever I see them.
Crying children don't need to be banned, just their self centered, ignorant, selfish parents!
This is a great idea. There are so many horrible parents out there who bring up horrible children. It would be nice to have a peaceful meal without having to look at those miserable excuses for human beings.
You offended parents are utterly hilarious! Screaming, fighting and name calling for the right to foster your badly behaved children onto everyone else. Guess what, if you don't like the policy, take your family to Chuck E Cheese or try using your kitchen. A LOT more people are on the side of peace and quiet than on the side of "whatever, whatever I do what I want!".
I love a good South Park reference.
+1
There have been times I was at a restaurant and got sat at a booth across from a large family with more than three kids. Whenever one has been screeching constantly, I politely request to be reseated as far from them as possible, and have always been obliged by the staff. It's amazing what you can get done and how well you can be treated when you don't have a huge sense of self entitlement, have the spine to make the changes you want, and always say please and thank you.
Thats fine with me if they want to do that. I guess they are too good for my money in that case. Kids are kids and will cry from time to time. However, uppity business owners and other patrons(who likely don't have children) can do what they want and I will find somewhere else to spend my money. Problem solved.
We will all miss you and your screaming spawn dearly.
Hey Harry .... enjoy Chuck E Cheese!
Yea I'm sure that restaurant owner from the article with the 22% jump in sales since his ban is really crying about losing your money.
Your business and screaming children won't be missed. Enjoy Chuck E Cheese.
Most states have gone 100% non-smoking in restaurants because it was determined that even second-hand smoke proved to be a danger to society. Well kids throwing high-pitched fits, kids running around the restaurant, and kids throwing food and silverware all over the place are a danger to society too. i say ban them or segregate the restaurant into children and non-children sections!
I agree 100% When I go to a restraunt I want it to be peaceful and quiet, not little kids running around and crying. If you want your kids to do that go to Chucky Cheese.
I'm 26 and I love Chucky Cheese, I don't want kids there either. Order carryout and eat at home! lol
I love children (I have two of my own who are grown now), and we were the kind of parents who took our children outside if they screamed, but there is nothing worse than going out to eat and spending your meal listening to a screaming child. There are parents who simply won't remove the child, and there should be a policy to put a stop to it.
I agee.
I agree with this completely. It's not the rest of the worlds responsibility to deal with your children because your a bad parent and can't control them. It doesn't take a village to raise your kids, just you and only you because we didn't have them, you did. I've seen children who were really well behaved and if you saw their parents you knew why, they actually had parents and not overgrown children raising them. Some people just should not have kids, yet they are the ones with multiple kids that they can't control. They must have missed the day in health class about condoms. They're your kids and your problem, not ours.
I agree with you, Lee. If someone else has children, THEY should be responsible for them. Consider this: some people choose not to have children at all, and that is their right; why should they have to listen to yours scream, or watch them run around? Take care of your kids, and no one else will be able to say a thing to you.
If someone chooses to not have children, it is not their right to never have to be around other peoples children, or to disallow the rights of people with children to leave their house if the child is having a bad day. I agree parents should do their best to not have unruly children, but sometimes I understand that can be really difficult. There are plenty of comments here about entitled children, when what I'm reading are a bunch of really entitled adults.
99.99% of the time it's the parents fault for the children's lack of discipline.
I agree 100%!
I'm going to stand out in the cold and hate that last .01%!!!
I recently had an experience at The Melting Pot where the child was a one year old dining with us, it was me and my best friends birthday and she couldn't find anyone to watch her child. Her child isn't the one at fault I clearly knew that she was tired and asked my friend to lay the baby next to her (in a large booth) when she first started getting fussy, but no, it took 10 minutes of high pitched screaming, wait staff bringing valentines day balloons and an assortment of other stupid tactics before my friend did as I had originally suggested. It boils down to what most posters had already stated, bad parenting. How do you not know your own damn child? I'm glad someone wrote an article about this because it has bothered me for a week now.
Let me get this straight. You wanted a dinner for YOUR birthday, so you drag your "friend" out with a tired tired one year old and were offended because SHE's a bad parent. You're the idiot, not the kid or your friend. You should have cancelled the dinner until your friend could get a sitter. BUT YOU WERE TOO CONCERNED ABOUT YOU!!! ITS ALL ABOUT ME ISN'T IT!
Joet, I think that the poster and her friend share a birthday- "it was me and my best friends birthday". Perhaps she wanted to treat her friend, or her friend insisted on going out. We do not know from the post. What we do know is that you have no manners.
I've been in a similar situation before and I'd bet very good money that the mother was to blame. One year, for my husband's birthday, I threw him a small dinner and a movie with his best friend and girlfriend. I called them weeks in advance so they could get a sitter because it was (made very clear to them) an adult restaurant and a late night, R rated movie. Wasn't I surprised when they showed up with their poorly behaved toddler. Most people think that when you ask them if they have a sitter it's for the sake of the child and if they think the child can handle it, they should feel free to bring them along. It's really that we don't want to suffer through you refusing to take care of your child properly for the sake of your dinner.
They need to invoke this for movies and flights as well.
Yeah but you cant kick a unruly child off a flight. That is the harder one to guage in my book. The others I agree with.
Sorry flight in the air.
It'd be a shame if you intolerant people have children. Because that is what kids do sometimes, believe it or not – cry. And if you do not have children, well, don't have any.
Jon, it is not a matter of tolerance or intolerance its a matter of know what is appropriate in certain setting and what is not. For instance, I would not stagger into a Chuck E Cheese with a 5th of bourbon and a hooker. Why, because that is the wrong setting. However, I fully expect, when paying for ambiance and civility to not have to listen to the shrill cry of other peoples offspring.
Yeah, kids cry. And you know what else? They change your life. There are plenty of family friendly restaurants. Take your kid there. If your kid is fussy at places, get a sitter or don't go out. What annoys me is that parents want to do whatever they want to and not have the kid change their lifestyle. Instead they want a roomful of strangers to deal with the parent's problem.
I have 2 kids, and I agree with this article. If someone were at Chuck E Cheese and complained that would be one thing. But when you are dining in a restaurant without a playground, you should not have to listen to other peoples' kids. As a former server, I can tell you that it's these kinds of parents that are being selfish, not the people who ask them to take their kids out.
@Jon S.
GFY and your spoiled screaming brats as well.
I have 4 kids and I totally agree with the policy and you castigate. Training kids up to behave in public can be done but you have to PARENT your kids and be willing to leave and back it up firmly and quickly if the need arises.
I have six children, and you know what? They are well behaved. It is called PARENTING. There is no excuse. I didn't pay good bucks to eat at a restaurant to listen to your rotten parenting in action. My kids are the ones shushing the screaming ones at stores. Good kids start with good parents, end of story.
Not sure how you came to the conclusion that not liking YOUR child screaming while I am eating out with my family makes me a bad parent.
Yes, Jon, kids *do* cry, but then, if you decide to have children, you should be responsible for removing them from restaurants, theaters, and concerts when they disturb others. It is NOT the responsibility of everyone around you to deal with your screaming child. Consider this: the people who decide not to have children might not want to listen to anyone else's and that *IS* their right.
Jon S... your thoughts are somewhat disconnected. This is not about having children, it's about paying good money to enjoy a meal out and having to put up with someone else's misbehaving children!
I don't think people are blaming children for crying John, of course kids cry from time to time. It is the lack of responsible parenting to teach children how to behave in public.
Understand, once again that it is not the child's fault. It is the parents who only can think of themselves and have no respect for others in the restaurant who had their bread breaking time destroyed by the kids parents . . not the kids!
If Republicans have their way, birth control will be outlawed, and even people who don't want children will be having them. The amount of ill-disciplined children will skyrocket exponentially as they will be raised by resentful parents. So, if you want a quiet dinner out, vote for Democrats!
They shouldnt be banned. But if a parent is doing nothing to try and calm their child then they should be asked to leave. i have two children of my own 1 is 4 with Autism. As much as I love getting out of the house if I cant calm my child we leave. Its rude to not think of the people trying to enjoy their meal.
In a perfect world that would work, a child gets to a point where the wait staff or manager comes up to them to talk to them about calming a child down and the parent does that... but in the world we live in, most parents would have a fit , how dare you come up to me to control my child'. and when exactly should a wait staff intervene.?
April, just because someone is asked to leave doesn't mean they will.
I think lot of people who have commented here are either who dont have kids or dont want kids. Touche.
Well, I had children but they are all grown now. They were not permitted to be disruptive in public and grew up teaching their children the same. Also, I would not be offended if a restaurant didn't want me and my family eating there. I'd just find another one that did because I REALIZE HOW MUCH SCREAMING CHILDREN CAN DISRUPT A NICE MEAL and there's no defending it.
You Uppity people make me sick. I take my one year old to various Vegan restaurants and not once has there ever been a complaint. Whenever she has a BM i scrape it into the Hummus and no one is the wiser. It saves on diapers until my food stamps kick in at the end of the month. Get a Life People.
This isn't about all kids. It's about unruly kids. Or a kid that is having a fit and instead of taking the kid out and calming them down in a more calming environment they just sit there and let them cry. Get some reading comprehension.
Well aren't YOU precious? @@
Some mother you are! Unfortunately, your child will probably grow up just like you, ignorant!
It's because vegans are retard3d, they can't tell a baby's cry from their green sh!t.
That is some lame trolling.
As a parent, I know that kids sometimes act up and can be disruptive...it's natural. However, I'm not a parent who will allow my child to disrupt someone's dinner or movie. It's my responsibility to remove my daughter when she does act up. Frankly, though, I've never EVER had a problem with this...maybe it's because my daughter knows I just won't tolerate it. Behave or do without.
The fact that this is even being debated is a sign of male opression. Take men out or power and women would never launch a sexist pig policy like this.
I've not once been bothered by anyone aged 3 or under. Give them a coloring sheet and a warm, friendly smile, and the baby behind you ends up being quieter than the one on the other side of the resteraunt(sp?). Whether from babies or otherwise, expect noise in public places. Yes, parenting has become poor these days. Yes, kids who are old enough to know better should behave. Yes, you are all overreacting to an easy-to-deal-with problem. Yes, you were probably loud as a baby too, no matter how good a kid.
No one has the privilege of ruining other people's dinner. You aren't just recommending acceptance of noise, but that we also embrace it. Good enough when the needs of many require the noise (construction, sirens, traffic, planes, etc), but not when one individual creates enough disturbance that disrupts the peace of many. Especially in these chaotic time already filled with other peoples' noise.
There is nothing wrong with a crying baby. I cried, my son cried, my nieces and nephews cried. The problem is that parents either don't try to appease the child or take the child out of the room until he/she has calmed down. As for the children who run around like monsters, I remember several trips to either the bathroom or the car until I figured it out (stubborn child). Why should people who either have well behaved children or no children be subjected to parents who can't be respectful to others. It's not the child's fault because they are learning. It's the parents' faults for not teaching their children better.
Unfortunately, every jerk with a cell phone in public will post to YouTube and call CFS, if you give that stubborn little monster a pop on their backside ... or even if you take the little heathen to the bathroom for a stern talking to.
I don't care if your kid is the cutest thing in the world and if she's doing nothing but cooing: noise is not appropriate in upscale restaurants. Don't expect us to cater to your children when you don't take your kid out of the area to deal with them.
I would do everything I could to show up with a screaming child to see how they handled it – the 73 over the top selfish people that voted this way are the exact reason restuarants are starting to get tough on them. I can't tell you how many expensive meals have been ruined by parents like this. And guess what? I get in thier faces and tell them off loudly enough for others to hear me (sometimes accompanied by applause) and complain to the Management for not doing anything. Fight back people! It never used to be this way and got this way because no one spoke up!
'the 73 over the top selfish people that voted this way'
Theres nothing selfish about expecting parents to keep their children under control while in a restraunt. Actually its the other way around. Parents who are to inconsiderate to take their screamng kid outside or to the restroom and calm them down are the real problem here.
Why should I have to listen to someone elses screaming child while I'm eating my dinner?
I was talking about the voting results, there were 73 lazy, selfish deadbeat parents that voted that way at the time I read it.
How are the vast majority of the people wrong and you are right? Do you really think that of all those people none of them are parents? I would love to have some negligent, lazy parent like yourself attempt to tell me off in public about how precious your little screamer is. You are a liar that you get applause, 73% of the folks here say you are a liar.
Burbank is referring to the poll at the top, I think.
Whoah! That's friendly fire! I'm on your side. I get applauded for standing up to these lazy parents that think it's OK to ruin everyone else's meal with their screaming spawn!
When I was a young mother, I had four babies under four years of age. Each one was in church the next Sunday after birth, where they were taught to behave and be still. This can be done without being cruel – I think I took children from the main service three times in all the years they were young – and those were because of sickness. When we took them out to eat, we were always complimented on their behavior. And the unexpected benefit – all four were teenagers at the same time!
Now my kids are grown and raising my five grandchildren like they were raised – expecting obedience and respect. I can take my grandchildren anywhere and know they will obey me and behave well. If they don't learn how to behave as children, how do you expect them to know how to behave as adults? Take time with your children, talk with them, teach them, and explain your expectations. Then inspect to make sure the expectations are met. Punish as needed, but with love.
Sadly most current parents are not like you. They grew up in that absolutely spoiled generation where everyone got a ribbon and as a result no one grew up. Now they are extremely immature, shockingly selfish, nariciistic adults. Basically grown up mental children and deadbeat parents that want to crank 'em out but don't want to have to put out any effort to raise them.
I'll bet if you did a rewind, you would find your kids just as unruly as the kids today and your parenting just as complacent. It's funny how the parents who think their kids are/were just so sweet and well behaved are the very parents whose kids are/were obnoxious brats!
Who cares what you think?
And then they should ban busboys who make too much noise, people who talk on cell phones, loud kitchens, motorcycles going by on the street, people with shrill voices, loud music, servers who talk too much, people who chew with their mouth open, people who laugh, etc, etc.........
Screaming kids are heard all over the restaurant, not just at the table next to them. And yes, all of those things you mentioned can be addressed. Babies and kids seem to be off limits for some reason. The parents ignore them, yet the rest of us are not permitted to set expectations or discipline them. So we are held hostage. Yes, I can leave the restaurant, and you'd be happy to know that I do. I'm not so sure restaurants are so happy about losing customers. But who knows. They're always trying to figure out how to fill the tables.
"Held hostage"...nice. It's a restaurant, not a Die Hard sequel.
There are lots of things that create sound in restaurants (waiters, busboys, motorcycles driving by) but nothing quite compares to last night's runny-nosed string of children that run by our table, bumping my chair each time they went by. They were so oblivous to their surroundings that one even sat at our table before realizing he was in the wrong place. Management just smiled and nodded. That was Los Tios in Houston (Kirkwood at Memorial) in case you want to steer clear. Pity. Their margaritas are pretty good. A "chatty waiter" pales by comparison.
Allison, remind me not to make you mad. =)
You might want to put that comment up on Yelp or Urbanspoon so that the foodies can see it.
really depends on the restaurant....all im saying is under no circumstances will i ever get kicked outta ihop...them fools better take my money however they can get it
reprint......please keep your howling children at home with you. i dont need C OVER high C being driven through my eardrums by the child you cannot control.
I agree with you 100% with one exception, i most cases it's not the child they can't control, it's the child they refuse to control.
It depends on the restaurant. If your child is a cryer take them to a restaurant that is more casual like Mcdonalds, Dennys or Chilis or Chuck-e-cheese's until they are able to deal with eating in an adult place. If you pay for an expensive dinner at a high end restaurant you should not have to deal with noisey kids.
I always carry an Chloroform filled diaper to put over my Baby's head. Works everytime and I don't have to tip extra.
She could have simply stayed home with her baby. Or left them off at her mother's house. There are so many other options to chloroform or taking the kid out on the town.
It always makes the Kid Menu taste better. Besides, my Lawyers love the chicken nuggets.
Yes..as a parent,and a Grandparent,I say children who are disruptive(crying,yelling,running amok) should be banned.. If parents are not going to step up to their responsibilities of quieting a child,or taking appropriate actions when the child acts up,then I say the restaurant has every right to ask the parents to leave.
I totally agree about how parents let their children run wild. Both my husband and I have worked in theme park sit-down restaurants and it happens with people from all over the world. I remember one incident in particular where I was carrying a very heavy tray with hot coffee on it. I came out of the kitchen and started walking toward my table, tray in one hand and the tray jack in the other. A child about five ran right in front of me while his parents were on the other side of the restaurant. I actually yelled at him because he scared me and I was afraid I would have dropped the tray on him. If I had, I guarantee he would have made a trip to the hospital and I would have lost my job all because parents couldn't watch their monster. Fortunately even though I had to stop short, I had enough experience to manage the tray.
please kerep you howling rude child at home,with you!
I'd like not only rules on behavior but for restaurants to have whole other sections for people who choose to bring their kids. Put them all in one room so they can crawl all over one another while others try to enjoy their dining experience.
I refuse to eat at Fresh Choice and Sizzler ever again. After many occassion of watching childeren screaming, running around unattended, eating out of the food and especially the desert buffets and running up to other tables and grabbing food off of tables, eating it or throwing it at other partons AND the parents getting angry when someone speaks to their childern or management ask the parents to control their childern. We taught our kkds at home to sit at the table and eat with manners and that there would be conquenses of them acting out at the resturant, losing a toy or a priviledge it they could not behave. Only once did one of them act up and my husband immediately took him outside and I apologize to the tables around us. My son lost his favorite toy and could not play with his friends for two days; when his siblings saw this and he realized that we wanted them to have fun when we went out to eat but must obey the rules this never happened again. My grand kids know how to go to a resturant and enjoy themselves because of their parents upbring and teaching them these valuable lessons. There really are not any bad kids just bad parents that think their little prince or princess is so cute that the world will accept their undisplined behavior and fail to teach them manners when the go outside into the world they need to follow rules everywhere to be welecomed and enjoyed and not make dining out unpleasant for everyone around..
it depends on the circumstances - I mean at McDonald's I'm not going to get upset about a screaming baby. If it's at a nice restaurant, that's different. Also, it depends on how the parents are dealing with the situations. Some parents handle situations very well when their baby or child begins to fuss; some will take the baby or child to the bathroom - some parents just let their child scream - I say that if a parent refuses to do something (like take the child out of the restaurant dining area until it calms down) or let their child run wild (which I have witnessed) it is time for management to step up to the plate and request very politely for them to leave. Period. I have had more dinners ruined by screaming and/or out-of-control children. Nowadays, I do not hesitate to speak to the manager.
Yes. Ban them in restaurants and on airplanes too! If they act up on a plane, open the hatch and throw them out.
We went to one of the finest restaurants in Salt Lake last weekend and there were several screaming children running amok. I don't understand why parents bring unruly toddlers to such a place – the cost of the meal is wasted on a child who would probably prefer a McBurger, and the parents (not to mention the other patrons) hardly benefit from the expensive night out. We probably will never go back to that particular restaurant.
Later, we went to the symphony, and amazingly someone had brought an infant-in-arms! About half way through, the infant started howling and it took the mother a full 5 minutes to go outside. It really spoiled the evening. There should definitely be rules about small children at musical events.
Yes.
Yes, yes, yes!!!! Sick of selfish parents allowing their little darlings to scream/cry/run all over the restaurant floor, with no consideration to other diners.
Amen!!!
While I empathize with those who have suffered through toddler melt-downs I'm skeptical of the efficacy of socialization through the medium of 'family-friendly' restaurants given that it's just as likely my daughter would learn from the bad behavior of the other little patrons as from our own good example and admonishment. I feel that, at least from 2-3 (my kid's 2.5 years), kids learn best from their social experiences and that society functions, or should function, as a guide to proper conduct for children .... and parents.
Starting in your home and at the dinner table. After they've acquired the basic social skills of being calm in public places, then they may graduate to a restaurant. But start it out at a family restaurant, after which they may graduate further. But to take an unruly kid to a restaurant full of adults means they hadn't been properly prepared and should not be there.
hell yes!!! they should stay home!!!!!
When my son was a toddler, he could be difficult. I can think of at least a half dozen times that I removed him from restaurants for causing a ruckus. I actually had a woman thank me once. :)
Unfortunately, we have friends who didn't discipline their children. They let their son crawl on the table, run around the restaurant, throw food and scream...at nice restaurants. I understand this rule perfectly.
I'm sorry you're evenings were ruined as a result, but thank you for not suffering your misfortune on innocent bystanders!
"your".... fingers faster than my brain....
Way to go! Tough love at its best! You love your patrons, but want what's best for the overall good of your customers. If I want to listen to children, whine, cry, complain, and throw tantrums, I'd watch the debates! And I'm a Republican. Go figure.
Yes. They definetely should be banned. I am paying to enjoy a nice meal not listen a crying babies. They should stay home with their parents instead of making everybody's life miserable.
How is this not discrimination? Just because you don't like listening to someone's child cry doesn't give you the right to dictate where they are or are not allowed to eat.
Anyone who supports this is probably late for their KKK rally...
Who said anything about black babies Chaz? All crying babies
Sorry to say, it apparently does give us the right to decide where they can eat. Thats what the article is about.
There are plenty of age and/or behavior restricted places and activities that do not constitute discrimination. Consider you are discriminating against me by forcing your kid's bad behavior on me.
I think it is fine for a restaurant to do this. I have a two year old child and will take her to a child friendly restaurant. People like to relax and have a nice dinner and you should let them have it. I also think restaurants can have a family section away so others without can enjoy their food in a different area. I do think we need child friendly restuarants or I'll never be able to train her. I think there are a lot of parents who are pretty lax on discipline at home and it can carry out at a restaurant. It is like when people talk loudly on their cell phones while at a restaurant. No manners. That's my 2 cents.
Your kids won't be 2 forever, and you will once again be able to enjoy dining out at nice restaurants. In the meantime, you are correct. Furthermore, parents who are always lax at home should not expect to 'train' their children to manners in my presence. Teaching begins at home, hopefully around the dinner table. After mastering those skills, then graduate to a family friendly restaurant. Only after succeeding at those should a parent attempt a meal out in a restaurant of adults trying to enjoy their evening. But by that point, they won't be babies (or even 2) any longer. So full circle, keep the babies and little tikes at home. IT'S NOT FOREVER!
Yes – restaurants should ban crying kids. I don't want to pay any money for a meal when I have to put up with crying kids while I eat. I know it's not their fault but rather the parents fault. Control your kids you f#%$ing idiots! I have kids and grandkids and fortunately, I raised my children to control their children. I can't stand parents who let their kids go on and on and on. How rude of them to believe that people around them are OK with this. These people shouldn't even have pets let alone kids.
How rude of you to use bad language in a forum like this – I dont believe for a moment that you were a good parent.
wish some of my family members would do this with their kids when we have family get togethers. im sorry theres no reason for your kid to be climbing up the wall and screaming at the top of their lungs the entire time. get off your lazy butt and disipline
I was at a restaurant once where a woman was letting her two-year-old son run around like a screaming banshee. I was coming back from the restroom when that kid ran smack into me and fell down. The mom ran over, scooped him up and snarled in my general direction, "She didn't even say excuse me!" I very loudly told her, "If you would learn to control your kid, things like this wouldn't happen." I received applause from the rest of the restaurant. So I'm going to have to go with the policy. (And yes, I have kids. And yes, they were removed from establishments when they started crying or acting out. They are now 21 and 12 and can function just fine in society.)
As a mother of three...I do get irritated when parents don't take children outside when they are having a difficult moment. I understand that children will not be perfect all the time but there is no need to stay inside the restaurant when that happens. Also...the people who let their kids wander...no, no, no! It's ok to have boundaries and not let your children rule everything all the time, that's how they learn to be productive citizens. I don't see anything wrong with a sign to remind parents to take the kids outside if needed...it's a polite way to deal with a problem.
Agreed! People say, "They're children–you can't expect them to be perfect!" That's true, but neither should you just ignore the behavior and subject everyone around to it. Kids will act up. It's a fact of life. But as the parent, you have a responsibility to correct the misbehavior and teach them how to act in public.
I have three grown children and four grandchildren. I love children. However it is the parents that I have problems with! IMy mother was a hostess at a restaurant and she fell and hurt herself because the parents of a toddler chose to let him run around the place instead of making him behave! If parents want their children to yell, scream, run around, and act like monsters, STAY HOME!
I also have 3 children- they are all under the age of 4, and they can definitely be difficult at times. I have no problem removing my child from a place, whether it is because they are being very fussy or because of bad behavior. I have had to leave stores with my toddlers before. I won't have my kids running around, screaming or being rude in public places like that. We hardly ever go out to eat at a sit-down restaurant for this reason, they are bound to get restless. Running through a restaurant is not only rude, but it's also dangerous. Wait staff or other people could trip over them, they could get injured! They might run into the kitchen and get burned or seriously hurt. Then, of course, there is the risk of them being stolen or otherwise harmed by someone else. There are many reasons why a child should be controlled in public.
These rules aren't the restaurants' fault...it's the fault of too many parents who just let their kids scream and wail in the middle of the dining room.
And the victims are the responsible parents who take their kids outside.
Wish places of worship would do the same. Parents at my church are increasingly lax when it comes to TEACHING the child what proper behavior is, and the next person to sit in the seat is treated to juice on the floor, crumbs all around, ripped hymnals, etc., not to mention the cacophony if one (or two, or more) sit next to you.
amen.
I posted this earlier and it got buried. I'll put it up here and take my leave...
All I can say is this. I took on the responsibility of being a parent, the vast majority of the experiences that come with that responsibility are positive and something I will treasure until I'm put in the ground. That being said, there are certain aspects of parenting that kind of stink and I have to accept those as well. When my children are the cause for discomfort for others, like it or not, financially loathsome as it might be, I have to resolve that situation. It isn't my place in society to use my choices in life to impose on another persons right to comfort in a public venue. If it means I go back home and eat leftovers and I'm out 50 or 60 bucks, that's a consequence of my choice to have children, not the offended individuals.
You are a rare breed and should be commended.
I agree, others shouldn't be made to suffer for your choices. I wish more parents felt this way, then maybe they wouldn't need to establish child-free restaurants. Thnks for being a normal, mature, adult Bud.
This is a double-sided coin of selfishness and laziness. Parents with children need to realize that they are not the only ones in the restaurant/grocery store/plane/wherever. If your children are being loud and obnoxious, you have a responsibility to discipline them, even if that means removing them until they get the picture and calm down. Yes, it's inconvenient, but that's what we sign up for when we have kids. Obnoxious kids aren't cute or funny and you're not doing your children any favors by teaching them that this behavior is acceptable.
HOWEVER, part of being an adult and going out in public means that sometimes you're going to have to hear or see things that annoy you. Crying babies on an airplane? Yes, it's annoying, but it's part of life. Babies cry, sometimes even after the parents have done everything possible to calm them. Frankly, I'm far more annoyed by someone yapping away on his cell phone or subjecting me to her body odor and/or bad breath. But I don't throw a hissy fit about it because that's just part of life. If parents are being responsible and trying to control their children's behavior, that's all they can be expected to do. If you're so sensitive that you can't handle knowing that children and babies exist, then maybe you need to toughen up a little.
It's not about being sensitive. I shouldn't have to listen to someone's child above the volume of normal conversation, or put up with them running around like wild animals. If the parent cannot control them in their seat, it's time to remove them from the room until they can calm down. That's what my parents did with me, and what I did with my son. It didn't take long in either case for us to learn how to behave appropriately in public, and consequently garner compliments on being so "grown-up."
I agree–maybe I should have clarified that I'm talking about situations where the baby CANNOT be removed, such as airplanes. When my parents were raising me and my sisters (in the 80s/early 90s), when we went out to eat they reminded us of the expectations for our behavior before leaving. If we acted up we were removed from the restaurant/theater/wherever until we could calm down and behave appropriately. We quickly learned that eating out, etc. were privileges and contingent upon our behaving in a civilized manner. Now that my husband and I have a five-month-old, we're planning on raising her the same way.
I sympathize with those whose babies start crying on planes. I travel a lot and the parents, especially with multiple kids, are juggling heavy strollers, diaper bags, etc. on top of keeping the child quiet and somewhat calmed in a small cramped metal tube with a hundred strangers for hours. I have not seen one parent in that situation who look like he wanted to be there. Like you said, there is just no other option for them. When those infants start crying, it is because they are miserable as well.
However, when it comes to areas like restaurants or malls, yeah there is no excuse for those kind of behaviors to bother other patrons.
Babies (infants) cry on airplanes because they're in pain. They haven't learned to compensate for changes in cabin pressure by yawning, and their ears hurt. I feel sorry for them.
Two year olds having tantrums cry because they're spoiled, rotten brats. And you can tell the difference by the sound of the crying. I have no sympathy for the latter, nor for their spoiled, rotten parents.
I think it's sad that restuarants have to have written policies for parents regarding unruly children. If your child is going to scream and run around the restuarant like an animal, I feel the establishment has every right to ask you to leave. If you want to let your child run around like that, then you should get used to dining at Burger King or Chuck E Cheese.
For parents to get offended when restuarants ask you to leave with your unruly child, shame on you for not trying to control them in the first place. It's pretty sad when fine establishments have to have written rules are age limits because your child does not know how to properly behave. And of course it's society's fault because you don't know how to tell your child to be quiet and sit down and eat.
ALL sounds emanating from a child are the most beautiful sounds imaginable. If you do not agree, than you are obviously a child hater and are a mysogynist.
Any other ignorant, grand, sweeping, myopic statements you'd like to make, honey?
I'd like to think Mom of three was joking, but you never know...
Hyperbolic defensive tripe.
Then, Mom of Three, keep your children and their beautiful sounds at home so that you can enjoy them to the fullest. When they can behave like adults and pleasant members of well-behaved society, you are welcome to bring them out for all of us to enjoy.
What an idiot of a woman! It's because of mindless people like this that decent adults have to suffer with screaming brats in public these days.
What about barking dogs? What about farting on a public conveyance? Lots of stuff is bothersome to the select few. We have to be tolerant of those less perfect then ourselves.
You're right. The sound of your baby crying as it's lead out of the restaurant is music to my ears.
I AM a child hater & proud of it. Now, shut your kid up or stay at home.
Said the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang .....I have no children by choice as well and grow tired of the lack of parenting skills these days. Come on parents buck up! Who really is in charge?
So you were never a child then? No one ever had any patience with you? Dealt with your tantrums? Everyone has to be a child at some point. I don't have a problem with your choosing to be child-free, I was almost in that group (children later in life). I have 2 boys, 6 & 2, who we take out quite often. We avoid more formal/adult restaurants for the reason that our children are not mature enough yet for those situations.My 6 yr old has ADHD and he has outbursts and a lot of restlessness at times. I have removed him from public places in those instances – especially if I realize he's not going to stop, but I'm sure leading up to that that there are some around us who believe it's bad parenting. It's not. Most of the time our 2 yr old is in much better control of himself, but he doesn't have a cognitive/emotional problem either. I don't let mine roam or run around and scream – I find that incomprehensible that people do that. Just be aware that some children may have other issues that have nothing to do with discipline. And hiding them away from the world will not help them or teach them to do better.
No, they're not. The sounds my son makes when having a seizure are quite frightening.
You must be one of the moms who doesn't give a crap what their brat does in public!
Troll of Three?
Obvious troll is obvious.
LOL!! Can't wait to see what you think of your kids when they are teenagers and telling you off.....but then again, that will be music to your ears too!! Please make sure you reply and state which restaurants you go to so we can all stay away from them.
More offensive to me than crying kids? Adults making out in a restaurant. If you can't make it thru a meal without pawing at each other, stay in and order pizza. The other is adults talking loudly on a cell phone. I have complained to manager about both of these things and will continue to do so every time I encounter this classless behavior.
you should stay home and interact with people online only, since you don't know how to adjust to people who don't act like you do. perhaps join a monastery where you eat in silence. live life, don't suppress it.
Why should she have to adjust to other people's rude behavior? What ever happened to polite society? It's not unreasonable for any of us to expect to have a pleasant meal without LOUD disruptions. If your phone call is so important that you can't call them back, either lower your voice, or step away from the table while you complete your conversation.
i guess we can go around in circles. if you can't deal with the traits of others then you have a problem adjusting to your surroundings. when you're alone at home you can act any way you like, you can eat in silence and not take calls. when you venture out into public then you have to deal wtih your environment. not every has to act like you. if you don't like seeing people make out and showing public affection – don't look. just because you're alone and can't kiss anyone, or have no friends and thus don't have anyone to speak to on the phone doesn't mean everyone needs to be a quiet no-fun drone like you. that's like complaining to a cop that everytime you look over your high fence into your next door neighbor's backyard you see him naked. the cop would probaly say "so stop looking in his backyard". or complaining that every time you go to a movie theater people always talk. so stop going and rent the dvd. its much easier for the few to adjust than it is for the many to change.
@Anthony – it's selfish people like you this article is about. There's this thing called common courtesy you seem to have never been taught. We're not talking about looking over a tall fence into a neighbor's private yard. We're not talking about holding hands or a little smooch. And, of course, we're not talking about well-behaved children who sit in their seats, eat their meals, and talk at a normal conversation volume. We're talking about rude people who feel like they (and their children) can behave any way they like, regardless of how it may bother someone else. Some behaviors just don't belong in public. The overwhelming response in these comments should be an indicator that most of us are tired of rude, selfish, inconsiderate people ruining our experiences in public. We shouldn't have to stay home – those few rude folks should learn to be respectful of other people.
Agreed. Show respect for yourself and others, but today it's all about how much you can be disruptive, in your face disrespectful of everyone.
We make it a point only to eat in crowded, noisy restaurants so the sounds of crying babies and whiny kids are muffled.
I think a lot of people here are exaggerting. i'm a parent of 2 young kids, 3 1/2 years and 1 1/2 years. they're young. i find it hard to believe that if a kid acts up that there's parents who simply "do nothing" as if they're kids aren't running around or aren't making a ruckus. i can believe it if maybe a kid stands up on his seat and looks over to another table, ok, maybe if they're being quiet i can see that happening, but anything other than that you can't tell me there's parents who simply do nothing, or worse, get mad at you for speaking up. my wife and i used to take the kids to Applebees, family friendly, loud environment. 1 of the kids would have a dvd player, the other would view Dora on my phone. we'd always sit in a booth, 1 kid in a high chair, the other sandwiched between a parent and the wall (thus, no way to get up an run around). there were times there'd be the *onset* of acting up, but never full blown def-con 5 level. wife and i would scarf down our food. we decided this was too much work for us to do, to keep them quiet, always eating fast to avoid a thermal meltdown, that it wasn't worth going out to eat. we'll try next year when they're a year older. i personally don't like hearing my own kids cry, it annoys me, so i do whatever possible to keep them quiet, i can't imagine there's people who can just sit and listen to their own kids cry to the point where its disruptive for other people. so yeah, i think a lot of people are exaggerating. nobody likes a crying kid, especially a parent.
You're right that it doesnt happen often. But it does happen and there are parents that think that its ok.
doesn't make sense. i wouldn't let me kids act up, anything more than the onset of trouble and they get removed, but if they ever were to get to crazy levels i would be mortified at the disturbance they were causing, no one would have to tell me to shut them up. as a parent its eaasier to deal with a kid who's crying than to sit there and not do anything and try to block out the screams. at least for me it takes more out of me to not blow my top when they act up, its easier for me to run and fetch more crayons or let them play with my expensive phone or do whatever it takes to keep them occupied. these days we stay home and order out. much easier that way.
Anthony, just because it doesn't happen to you, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
Are you kidding? I have seen this many many times. I was at Olive Garden and a child about 4 was on the other side of the wall and was opening equal packets and pouring them through the open wrought iron divider onto the the table next to them while the parents watched and continued to eat their food and ignoring the glares from the couple eating at that table. I've been walking back to my table and a child that had been running around and yelling for the previous 10 minutes ran into me and fell down and started to cry and instead of an apology I got a 'Why weren't you looking where you were walking?" look. I think you may be wrapped up in keeping your children satisfied and quiet and don't notice these things and I would be happy to dine in the same restaurant as your family, but regarding most families dining out with young children this is not the case.
I see it happen FREQUENTLY! My husband and I were at a beach resort for a rare and much needed romantic getaway. While we were out dining, a large family came in and let several of their children literally RUN around the restaurant! It was all I could do to keep from sticking my foot out to trip one of them. While you and I would never let our children behave this way, I see it more and more in many places.
hmmm, maybe its a NY thing. people here probaly act different. not once have i ever been in a restaurant where there's been crazy wild children that are disruptive. this isn't an exaggeration. and i'm also talking about family friendly restaurants as well. i simply have yet to see a situation where a kid is acting unruly and the parents pretend its not happening. i'm sure it happens, but if i were to go by what's being written here you'd want me to believe kids are swinging from chandeliers and their parents allow it and get mad at you for speaking up. mularky.
I've seen this, too. Fortunately, not often, but one time that sticks out in my mind was this: in a steakhouse (not super-formal, but not HoJos, either) a toddler was running around, completely ignored by the parents at the table next to us. The kid actually came up to me and put his spitty, sticky, food-covered hands on my leg. I glared at the parents, and they simply smiled with an "Aww, how cute!" expression on their faces. It was disgusting, and I had food and spit stains on my pants. Nothing cute about it.
if you were to EVER, EVER put your foot out and trip MY child...I would make you hate the day you were ever born lady..I would bust out your frigging eye sockets...
the problem, ann, is that you're a woman. i don't mean that in a sexist way. i mean that in a sense of if something is going on around you and violating your space the most you can muster up is a "glare"? i bet you didn't even say anything to management to see if they could adjust your bill to compensate for your inconveniece. and i bet if you were with a date he sat there as well. i truly now see how life is different outside of NY. if this happened to me i'd have a word with management and state if they didn't make it right i would deduct the cost of drycleaning from the bill due to their inability to keep one group of patrons from impeding on another group of patrons. thank god i'm not a woman.
Too hilarious! It's a shame the little brat didn't "trip" over your foot. They would have deserved it. (I am a mother and an aunt ~ so no I do not hate kids.)
Q: How do you know when someone is being a sexist?
A: When they say, "I don't mean this in a sexist way, but..."
Oh, and by the way, I live in NY.
@Robyn – if you actually read my post, you'd notice I said I wanted to trip the brat – not that I did. Unlike the parents in that restaurant, I actually showed some restraint. Do you actually think it's acceptable to let children literally RUN around in a restaurant? Never mind the fact that it made for a miserable dining experience for the rest of us there, what if one of the kids actually did trip on a spilled drink or the corner of a chair and got hurt? What if they ran into and hurt someone else? Do you think it's acceptable to allow children to be rude and disruptive in public?
Hate to tell you this, Anthony, but my sister and her abusive, loser husband are a set of just such unfortunate parents that will literally do nothing when their children act up, have needs or, God forbid, cry during meal time. They will quite literally sit and continue to eat, and in the case of her husband, drink, as if nothing is going on. I shutter to think of those poor childrens' lives at home knowing that, at family get togethers, their parents ignore their needs entirely, leaving the responsibility of raising their children to my mother and me.
Anthony appears to be delusional or completely oblivious. Sorry that not all of us can live the DREAM like you – male and living in NY (apparently the perfect place to live – no crying children or deadbeat parents to be found!)
You may not have seen this happen,but lately it has become the norm. I do not place blame on the children-it is on the parents who are "busy' on their cellphones,texting,talking with one another or the new standby 'they are just kids". Yes they are kids,but it your job to see to it they are behaving.
Just let the waitress know there is a problem. Once you say those words its implied that she better handle it, or else.
Waitstaff are NOT in charge. Do not punish them, or expect them to do something about rude patrons. Ask for the manager. Or better yet, ask the offending party to fix their behavior.
your monther should have fixed YOUR behavior..you stupid cu nt
Robyn, you are a crude and unintelligent woman...that much is clear. I am sure you are also the type of parent everyone is ripping on...
robyn ~ there is no need for that kind of low-class comment from you. You clearly have entitlement and anger management issues. Please get them fixed. If you are just trolling for laughs, shame on you!
Robyn has a guilty conscience. She knows we're all talking about HER failings as a parent and so she's lashing out.
Go easy on Robyn, folks. She's a perfect example of parents failing to teach their children any manners. It's not her fault, really. She's just rude and ignorant because her parents are low-class losers who let her get away with everything when she was a rugrat herself...I'm sure she'll continue the fine tradition. In fact, we should be thanking her. It's because of people just like her that we are now rewarded with these fine adult-only restaurants. Thank you, Robyn. Thank you, so very much. And keep up the good work.
If there is a problem that the waitstaff cannot handle then its their responsibility to call the manager.
Agreed. But if the server treated you well and gave you good service, don't punish her because her manager didn't solve a problem. That's just shooting the messenger. My point is that servers are very limited in what they are able to do in dealing with other patrons. If they do their job well, pay them for it. If they don't do their job well, leave them a 1 cent tip – they'll get the point. But it falls on the manager to deal with unruly guests. I've worked as a busser, a server, grew up in my dad's two restaurants, and owned one of my own. I would never have expected one of my servers to ask a patron to modify their behavior – in fact, I probably would have suspended or even fired her for it (could be a lawsuit waiting to happen.) And the bottom line is, even at upscale restaurants, servers get paid very little (about $2.50/hr.). The bulk of their income comes from tips. If they take care of you, please take care of them. If the manager fails, talk to the owner. If the owner fails, dine elsewhere.
No crying babies on plane, train, subway, restaurants or any place where its impossible to run away. Actually, no crying babies on the Plane, subways and restaurats is a good start. And parents who let the child cry and look the other way? Please make it mandatory for the person next to them to smack them in the head. And for the record, I am a dad and love children but I make sure that I dont make their tantrum ruin someone else's meal or commute.
Definately no cry babies on the plane!!!
So are parents not supposed to use planes, trains, buses? As a parent of two young children I completely understand having a policy in place that asks parents to take crying or disruptive children outside but to outright ban families from restaurants, planes, trains etc. is outrageous and I would consider it a form of discrimination. We were all children at one point and the individuals that somehow act like they were never once like that is laughable. What is happening to society?
Greg, societies change. Not everybody is as kid-focused as you appear to be. I do not think it is unreasonable for a restaraunt to ban children under a certain age, even though i used to be one. It is a kind of discrimination, but then so is keeping kids out of bars. A wailing child doesn't belong in a restaraunt,
Banning them from planes I do not see because families have to travel, too. I would expect the parents on a plane to keep their kids under control, though i tend to be more forgiving under the circumstances.
I'm a parent too. I can certainly get behind no crying babies in restaurants. However, with transportation sometimes you need to be able to get a child from point A to point B. Parents should come equipped with whatever they need to minimize the chances that a child will cry, but sometimes there's not a lot you can do. Children should be taught to behave properly in public, but if you have an infant there's only so much you can do. Keep them out of restaurants, sure, but traveling to see family or grandparents when they live 1000+ miles away is sufficient reason to bring small children on an airplane.
I think you need to remove your head from your anus! It is perfectly NORMAL from a baby to cry! A crying baby DOES NOT indicate a BAD PARENT as you have clearly implied! Now perhaps a pre-schooler who is still crying may indicate a behaviour problem, but babies MUST cry in order to communicate with their parent that they are in NEED of something. Sometimes parents with children MUST travel for jobs, family emergencies, medical treatments and CANNOT leave their baby behind. I think YOU need to invest in some earplugs and develop a tiny shred of "tolerance" for familes who cannot avoid travel and must bring their baby. Remember, this world was not created just for YOUR convenience. Get over yourself!
Putting certain WORDS in CAPS as a method of placing EMPHASIS upon them is TIRESOME and tends to NEGATE your arguments.
(Irony intentional)
How about a rule that says:
People who cant spell should not post their opinions
*definitely*
Well, hell, SV- what would be the fun in that?
I have no problem with kids that behave. However, there is no way to distinguish between kids that behave and those that do not, other than setting an age at which the kids should know its wrong to be loud and annoying in a public location. For those saying they take their kids to a $50 a plate restaurant, realize that for most people, that is a once in a long while occasion. When I am dropping that much money, I expect a peaceful experience, without the risk that the kid you swear is going to be good decides for some reason to throw a fit.
And, as others have said, any place thats designed primarily as serving alcohol, keep kids out of, especially at night. I very much cannot stand seeing 5 year olds sitting at the bar at BWW at 10PM on a Saturday night, because their parents didn't want to wait for a table for whatever big game was on, with those parents admonishing people for swearing or drinking a lot because there are kids in the vicinity.
In short, there is a time and a palce for kids, realize that just because they are special to you, doesn't mean anyone else feels that way.
I dont care, but it should not be required to be put in writing – it should be implied by the fact that it is not mcdonalds. Written notice or not, the restaurant is responsible for the quality of my dining. If it is unsatisfactory then no tip.
The server is not responsible for the restaurant's policies regarding children. He/she can do no more about it than you can.
They could get a job at a restaurant that doesnt suck. Seriously, my paying a tip is contingent on my enjoying my dinner. They dont earn a tip just for carrying a plate 20 feet.
You are an ignoramus. I hope your next server drops your plate in your lap!!!!
@svann – The server's job (and subsequent earning of a tip/income) is based on taking your order and delivering it correctly and in a timely manner. It also includes checking on you periodically, keeping your glass filled, and getting your check to you when you are ready to go. They are not police officers or babysitters – even to rude jack*sses like you. They can't get a job at a better restaurant until they've done their time at the dumps you seem to frequent. Give 'em a break. Tip them according to their service – not on whether or not the jerk behind you was as much of a jerk as you're being here. Problem with the establishment – talk to the owner/manager – someone who can actually do something about it. Hopefully, they'll throw you out, too.
Something tells me that Svann has never had to work in the service industry......or, perhaps, has never had to work period.
@Sara
So much compassion for waiters, such less compassion for parents. Children are not mini adults. Alter your expectations.
SV, not all adults are parents and signed on to listen to screaming kids. Adjust your children.
@happymon Why would they throw ME out? Because I reported that there is a problem? They should be thanking me.
You're right – my comment was out of line. I'm sorry. What triggered it was how rude you came across when you were speaking of the waitstaff. They are some of the hardest working people I've known, and I've seen many people like you treat them poorly, in spite of good service. No, I'm not going to give someone a tip if all they do is drop off my food and disappear. But I'm also not going to punish them because someone else in the restaurant didn't do their job. I read something last night that made me think of this. It said, "If the person you are with is nice to you, but not nice to the waiter, that is not a nice person." Ergo...all rude people should be asked to leave. If you're not one of those, then I sincerely apologize. Your comments, however, seemed to indicate otherwise. I hope I was wrong.
Complain to the manager, don't punish the server! PLEASE be aware that your server's income is almost exclusively based on those tips. The servers have no authority to deal with obnoxious patrons (of any age.)
"'Family friendly places are also prime training grounds for instilling manners,' Reints said, 'from treating wait staff courteously and saying please and thank you to speaking in a low voice and using good manners.'"
Um, no. A restaurant isn't a dress rehearsal. The wait staff and other diners aren't there for the sole benefit of training your child not to throw rip-roaring tantrums over dinner. Those manners better be instilled and well-tested at home long before you take your child to a restaurant for the first time. Furthermore, if your kid is a holy terror at your own dinner table, what would make you think he's going to suddenly sit up and listen when he has a captive audience?
As long as they also ban, LOUD, OBNOXIOUS, DRUNK, and ill-mannered adults.
Sorry, but for ever one "bad" kid, I have to tolerate 10 "bad" adults.
Ive never had to tolerate bad behavior from adults. They have always gotten the boot. What restaurant is that that they allow that to go on?
I totally agree with Josh! I have a much bigger problem with loud, obnoxious self-centered adults like YOU! Kids don't bother me at all! It is NORMAL for children to be CHILDISH! They ARE CHILDREN! It is ignorant, rude and selfish for ADULTS to be such azzwipes and act like childen! I hope I never have to sit next to YOU in a restaurant! The first time you exhibit your entitled personality and start berating your server, I will most likely stick your flatware up your azz!
"I totally agree with Josh! I have a much bigger problem with loud, obnoxious self-centered adults like YOU! Kids don't bother me at all! It is NORMAL for children to be CHILDISH! They ARE CHILDREN! It is ignorant, rude and selfish for ADULTS to be such azzwipes and act like childen! I hope I never have to sit next to YOU in a restaurant! The first time you exhibit your entitled personality and start berating your server, I will most likely stick your flatware up your azz!"
"loud, obnoxious self-centered adults like YOU"
I wonder if the irony was intentional?
If "bad" adults are your problem, choose better restaurants.
The same could be said for "crying or bad" babies. Get up and leave the restaurant if you don't like it. I can understand if there is a child who is acting up or a baby that is non stop crying and the parents just act as if nothing is happening (yes this does in fact happen more than you think) that the restaurant should have the right to ask them to take care of it or leave but to put an age limit on a family's access to a restaurant is ridiculous. What about the parents that actually teach and instill good manners in their children? We take our two daughters out to nice dinners atleast twice a month and they have great manners. They are ages 6 and 2 1/2. We can recognize when the younger one might potentially have a lapse but we jump on top of it and either take her to the restroom or for a walk outside. There are ways to do this without alienating a large part of the population.
So if there is a squalling baby and innatentive parents, I should have to give up my meal and leave? Makes perfect sense.
Penalize the guy who is quietly enjoying his meal and not the people who brought their ill trained child with them.
Had a kid plop down beside my wife and take a piece of food off of her plate and eat it, parents oblivious to it all three tables away.
I did this at least once when I was 3 years old. It was wrong, and I apologize.
If that ever happened to me, I'd call the manager and tell them to add that plate to the parent's bill. I'm not eating anything that a stranger had his fingers in. Disgusting.
I am speechless! What did you do? What did the "little darling's" parents do when it was brought to their attention? If it were me, I would have INSISTED the parents of the little beast pay for my dinner since I sure wasn't going to continue eating after some kid's grubby hands were on my plate!
And yes, I'm a parent too.
Yet another symptom of a society that has forgotten what it means to be a parent. Too many people are used to letting the TV or video games play the role of not only babysitter, but even of parent. Parents are unwilling or unable to discipline their children. We tie teachers' hands in having any ability to control their students. Basically more and more of our kids are growing up undisciplined, rude, and uneducated. What's sad is that it's so easy to fix. Spend time with your kids. Teach them respect, and a sense of right and wrong; show them that there are consequences for bad behavior and rewards for good behavior; and take an active part in their education, working with their teachers instead of against them (as so many parents these days do).
As someone who spent their working life in the restaurant industry, I found a perfect way to silence, such outburst. When the parents would look at me and say "That is what children do". I would respond, that I totally understood, and that they were to be commended, I realized that it was very hard dealling with a child with challanges. After much sputtering, they usually paid their bill and left vowing never to return again. They could not complain, as I had not insulted them I had simply told them that I "Understood". The children are not the problem. The Parents are!
Aside from an out-of-control population, dwindling educational standards, and the vanishing of natural resources, poor parents who won’t sate their bawling kids is another reason why I think abortions should be mandatory for the next 50 years. I think everyone should be required to have one.
That’s right. I am Pro-Abortion. lol
My NYC downtown neighborhood has in the last 10 years become a stroller haven. My husband & I, who eat out at least 3 times a week, have had some pretty horrendous experiences. The worst was a dinner (after 8PM) where we were seated near a couple where the he mother was breastfeeding a wailing baby while drinking a goblet of red wine. Spoiled dinner on two levels. We've been eating a lot at a restaurant that has a sign posted outside saying "We love your children but we cannot accommodate strollers and do not have high chairs or booster seats". If you go to a "family" eatery at 6PM you deserve what you get. If you go to a fine dining restaurant after 8PM you deserve not to be assaulted by screaming babies and unruly rug rats.
I would definitely support restaurants that had a no-kids after 8pm rule...it would allow them to offer kid-friendly dining, but become a haven for adults later.
You make some great points but it is it really necessary to refer to children as unruly rugrats? The rest of the comment sounded so well thought out and to the point and then you lose it all with one comment.
Yes, yes. Kids cry. It’s natural. You can’t stop it. Blah blah blah blah freaking blah.
Guess what else is “natural!” Sex, urination, and defecation. Do you see me having sex on a restaurant table and then relieving myself in the middle of the dining area? No!
Just because you have children does not mean you have the right to infringe on the peaceful enjoyment of other people who are dining out. If your kids are of the age where they are going to cry and throw tantrums in a restaurant, then they’re too young to full appreciate dinner out to begin with, and there’s no harm in staying in.
What’s that? You and your spouse deserve to have a nice night out!?
Of course you do! I’m not saying you don’t! Just don’t take your kids because, as I said, you don’t have the right to ruin anyone else’s night out, and they’re too young to appreciate the night out anyhow.
Can’t afford a sitter? Then don’t go!... and stop breeding if you can’t even afford a sitter for the kids for 2 hours just so you can have chicken strips at TGI Fridays.
These are the things you need to think of before you have kids because, as I’m sure all the parents here have pointed out on their benefit in the middle of an argument at some point, “Kids change things.”
And for those of you who said you have 4, 5, or more kids… STOP BREEDING! You’re a human in the first world, not an opossum. Do you have any idea of just how much damage you’re doing to the environment, natural resources, Social Security, and our economy!? It’s simply unconscionable.
Go back to the hospital with your frequent buyer punch-card and tell them you want to trade in the free Birth & Delivery you have coming for Tubal Ligation.
We I was about 3 years old, my parents took me out to dinner and told me to be a good girl and not act up. When a little boy in the booth behind us started acting up and crying, apparent;y I took it upon myself to stand up in my seat, turn around to him and proceed to tell him, "Hey, don't you know your not suppossed to act like this in a resturant!". I turned around and finished eating my food. I was 3 years old and to this day my parents tell me it has to be the cutest embarrassing thing I ever did as a child. Kids will be kids, you just have to, as the parents, teach them the correct way to act in a resturant. Some kids are more stubborn but there are tactics to get around that.
Well, I think you hit the nail on the head. And it's also a catch-22. The parents that know their kids can't behave are the same parents that are oblivious to dragging them into restaurants unwelcomed. If all parents were like yours, I doubt this conversation would even be happening.
Loud annoying babies, loud annoying kids, loud annoying teens, loud annoying adults. It's all the same. Rather than making children and babies the whipping boy, point to the unacceptable behaviors. Repeated outbursts, yelling, screaming and crying shouldn't be tolerated from anyone in a restaurant regardless of age.
The difference is that loud annoying adults have control over their behavior. Babies do not.
That's correct (for very young children, at least). That's why they should not be brought to a restaurant, or should be taken out if they start acting up. Other patrons should not be subjected to the disruption.
I wish that were true. I see plenty of parents tending to their children and leaving the table if necessary. I also hear middle age ladies yelling into their cell phones like they are tin cans connected by a string. Neither is pleasant. Honestly, I'm not sure who I'm more annoyed by.
Nothing I enjoy more than going to a restaurant after a hard day of teaching and having to endure screaming, crying, misbehaving children. I don't blame the children, though. Their parents have created the problem. Thank you to the countless parents who have worked hard to make sure your children are respectful, well mannered, and well behaved – no matter where they go. Not sure about banning children altogether, but different seating areas is more acceptable. You know – family and non-family – sort of like the old smoking and non-smoking sections. After all, how are children going practice these essential social skills if they aren't put in these settings?
The question of practicing manners comes up often in this discussion. Manners should be practiced at home around the dinner table. You should teach your kids the same consideration around your family dinner table that would be the foundation for their experiences at restaurants. That fine tuning can happen after they have grown a little bit, at least out of grade school!? But if parents want to abandon any responsibility of teaching manners at home, then they shouldn't plan on doing it in front of me at a restaurant!!
btw, I'm not talking about pizza places. I'm talking about the nicer restaurants around town where adults are trying to have an adult night out. And as far as bars, taverns, and pubs where people are drinking and eating sandwiches, it's beyond my why parents bother to bring their tots. I thought that was not legal, but who knew.
They can practice behaving at home, as countless generations of children did. If a child screams, demands their own way, runs around, and needs to be amused during meals while at home, guess what they will do when they are in a restaurant? Or in a for a supermarket, mall, movie theater, church or your neighbor's home. Teach your children how to behave in every situation. They will learn if you keep at it, but don't practice on the public.
Much like the old smoking and non-smoking sections didn't stop smoke at the dividing line, neither will family and non-family sections stop others from hearing the children's screams.
In the restraunts that do not do this, other customers should have the right to require the removal of any child that makes a scene. I have been in many restraunts where parents chose to not pay attention to thier kids, and the kids get out of hand. In some cases customers who are near by have made numerous attempts of getting the parents attention about the disruption of thier kids. and if that hs not gotten positive effects those customers have taken matters into their own hands, in one instance the customer smakcked the disruptive kid across the face and told the kid to not make another sound. That parent of that disruptive child actually thanked the customer for doing that, and stated that she as a single parent was too afraid to actually do that. In other cases the customers have complained to the management, and management has asked the parents of the disruptive child, to either get a handle or take their meal to go.
If you slap someone else's kid, for whatever reason, 99 times out of 100 you will be arrested.
I pity the fool who lays a hand on my kid in a restraunt.
That is unwarranted ABUSE, and had they done that in my sight, I'd have called the police and reported them for child abuse.
I once turned and told the kid to quit bothering me and caught flack from the parents just for that. I then asked the waitress to handle it and the party was out of the restaurant 2 minutes later.
That ain't abuse. Anyone who has been abused would know that a slap in the face is the prelude to some visceral, life altering abuse.
The volume of hostility towards the parents of young children is astounding and disturbing. I have 2 children both under 5, I have taking them to both family friendly restaurants and $50/plate fancy places. As a parent, I take responsibility for those choices and have and continue to teach my children the proper etiquette for each situation. How are we as a society to form a citizenry of knowledgeable and well behaved individuals if we don't instill in those virtues in them from the beginning. I have no problems bringing my children into a fancy restaurant and have beamed with pride when the waitstaff comments on my well behaved children. Parents need to teach; and without the opportunity to do so, what kind of society will we become. It is the "catch 22" of life, kids need experience but without opportunities how do they gain that experience. To those hostile to children in restaurants; I would challenge you to be more mindful of who is at the restaurants to go to and when you see children behaving; congratulate the parents; they in turn will congratulate the children and we will see change.
Well put. I always make it a point to commend parents in a restaurant when their children are well behaved. Not only does it make the parent feel good, but it also shows them that what they have been doing has been working.
Then take responsibility for paying my bill. Or make up for the loss of revenue when people like me stop patronizing a restaurant. A pizza place ok, but that you think you are above everyone else to drag your kid into a $50 a plate restaurant is ridiculous and insensitive. First of all, I wonder how parents can afford expensive dinners for their tots that I can barely afford for myself and my date. Secondly, your sniffly little brats can't appreciate a $50 plate. Your attitude offends me and I'm sure your kids will make miserable adults who annoy everyone else.
Then take responsibility for paying my bill. Or make up for the loss of revenue when people like me stop patronizing a restaurant. A pizza place ok, but that you think you are above everyone else to drag your kid into a $50 a plate restaurant is ridiculous and insensitive. First of all, I wonder how parents can afford expensive dinners for their tots that I can barely afford for myself and my date. Secondly, your sniffly little brats can't appreciate a $50 plate.
When our kids were little (we had 3) and we wanted to go to a nice restaurant we would take the kids to mcdonalds for a happy meal and afterwards we would go to that nice restaurant with the promise of a nice dessert for the kids. Aside from the banging of their shoes on the chair legs which we quickly stopped they were so into their dessert we were able to enjoy our steaks. Worked out very well. We also taught our children how to behave when we went out and never ignored them or allowed them to bother other people. I agree, small children do not know how to appreciate steaks or chicken, etc. They are more interested in hamburgers, grilled cheese or mac and cheese and therefore should only be taken to family friendly restaurants that offer food for small children in a family friendly atmosphere. And the person who said parents of children or children shouldn't be congratulated on the good behavior of their children. I appreciated someone noticed and beamed with pride and rewarded my children for behaving properly. A child needs to know what is good behavior and what is bad behavior and only learns with experience, rewards for good behavior, and consequences for bad behavior. And acknowledgement for good behavior is a reward in itself.
By the way, I am an avid watcher and supporter of "Supernanny" Jo Jo Frost is my hero
While I appreciate good behavior from kids, I think if they're at a $50 a plate restaurant (as you state) good behavior is absolutely expected, there is no need for strangers to reward it. In a society where every kids gets a trophy, they don't need to be rewarded for every little thing. Thanks for behaving at a restaurant, kiddo, your reward is that you get to be here, you don't need me to tell you how 'good' you are; I'd expect you to leave if your behavior were otherwise.
Kids can learn public manners in many public places. An expensive restaurant is not the appropriate place, until they have demonstrated the ability to behave in more family-friendly arenas. Especially during this difficult economic time, it's likely that many patrons of upscale establishments are there for a very special occasion. It's heartbreaking to think that their event could be ruined by disruptive children – and the parents who fail to control them.
Sorry. I am not going to commend you for doing your job as a parent. You can teach a child to behave in McDonalds just as easily as anywhere else without taking the risk that your child is going to have a tantrum in a $50.00 a plate restaurant because if you are spending that much then so am I, and if I even here a childs voice within my vicinity in that kind of establishment then you have ruined more than one persons night out already.
All of my kids have learned the hard way – act up when we're out and you get one warning. After that, it's straight to the car and after that to bed.
I appreciate that. When I see that a child misbehaves and one or both parents have to end their evening, I feel badly for them. However, I appreciate that they are doing the right thing for