Kate Krader (@kkrader on Twitter) is Food & Wine's restaurant editor. When she tells us where to find our culinary heart's desire, we listen up.

See all our best Valentine's Day dining advice

Residents of Knoxville, Tennessee, you are lucky this Valentine’s Day. Amazon.com just released a list of the 20 most romantic cities in the country, and you’re number one! Ranked second is Alexandria, Virginia; Springfield, Missouri, is third. This list is based on a mash-up of key signifiers, including sales of romance novels, romantic comedy DVDs and Barry White albums.

If you don’t live in any of those cities, and especially if you’re based in New York City, Paterson, New Jersey, Winston-Salem, North Carolina, or El Monte, California - ranked the country’s least romantic cities - you need to start thinking hard about extreme Valentine’s Day gifts. Here, then, is a sampling of super advanced chocolates that say I love you so, so, so, so much, even if we live in New York and aren’t buying enough Barry White albums.

Anatomically Correct Chocolate Heart
For those who want to seriously up their V-Day chocolate game. This anatomically correct heart, from pushingupdaisies.com, features aortas and valves and comes in milk or dark chocolate in 10 ounces (the reality-based size) or one pound (supersized).

As the website notes, this is an especially great Valentine for mortuary students, funeral directors, cardiologists, pathologists and embalmers. If your loved one is a psychiatrist, check out the anatomically correct chocolate human brain.

Chocolate Lace Eda-Bowl
When it comes to chocolate gift baskets, Choclat.com’s are king. Their specialty are Chocolate Eda-Bowls – goth-style bowls made of chocolate, which you can then fill with up to four pounds of candy Their recommended filling, however, is pretzels, popcorns and potato chips - all covered in chocolate of course. The Eda-Bowl is also super versatile; you can use it as a dinner party centerpiece or serve it for dessert, or both.

Chocolate Bugs
If you’re seeking a questionable way to say I love you, or looking for a Valentine for seven year old boys, here you go. On the plus side, bugs are one of the next good sustainable proteins to be eating, and coating them in chocolate can only make them taste better. Each pack of Hotlix Candy's Chocolate-Dipped Insects contains two worms and two crickets. Personally, I’d go for the organic chocolate Bug Bites instead, from the Endangered Species Chocolate, which contains no actual bugs but does come with groovy bug trading cards.

Chocolate Mail
Hong Kong-based graphic designer Toby Ng’s truly gorgeous stamps come in dark, milk and white chocolate, in an envelope with a color that matches the chocolate. These stamps are for licking purposes only; they obviously won’t get a letter anywhere within the U.S. postal service. But when was the last time you sent a letter anyway?

Chocolate Chess Set
More interactive than some chocolate gifts, Astor Chocolate's set includes both handmade white and milk chocolate chess pieces and squares to assemble your own board. This is probably not the best present for residents of hot climates.

More from Food & Wine:

50 Best Bars in America

Best Pizza Places in the U.S.

World's Most Romantic Cities

Romantic Gifts

Valentine's Day Recipes

All Valentine's Day goodness

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