Sara Benincasa is an award-winning comedian, podcast host and author of the upcoming memoir "Agorafabulous! Dispatches Fom My Bedroom."
Diabetes is scary. But a world without Twinkies is hard to swallow.
Like other red-blooded Americans, I breathed a sweet sigh of relief when Hostess Brands announced that despite its Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing it would not, in fact, cease production of Ho Hos, Ding Dongs, and other seductively-named products.
Hostess also announced that there would be no layoffs, but do we give a flying Yodel about that? After all, ours is a nation in love with dessert, especially when said dessert is crafted largely of saturated fat and sugar in a laboratory.
Of course, regular intake of such snack cakes is likely to lead to health problems. But like many Americans, I'll gloss over the depressing statistics and take the immediate gratification of sugar high any day.
So what if the Centers for Disease Control reported that 25.8 million Americans (8.3 percent of the population) have diabetes, and that 90 to 95 percent have the largely preventable Type II version of the disease? The American Diabetes Association reported that diabetes is the leading cause of new cases of blindness among adults ages 20 to 74, but will we really heed the warning to consume less sweets? And will we remember in the back of our minds the link between diabetes and stroke, heart disease and kidney failure?
We want our Ring Dings! We'll scream before we relinquish our Donettes. And if you try to take away our Hostess Cupcakes, well, we will die.
What's that you say? I can still have my Hostess treats once in a while if I exercise regularly and eat plenty of fruits, vegetables and lean protein? Well, that's boring. If I wanted to lead a healthy lifestyle, I wouldn't have chosen a chicken wings-and-beer-laden career as a comedian, which requires me to stay up until all hours taking in booze and comedy in equal measure. I'd like to tell you I'm not the kind of gal who has ordered a fried Twinkie after a particularly rough gig, but I'd be lying.
And anyway, why not celebrate the glorious resilience of Hostess Brands? Whether you choose the healthy route (eating sugary snacks in moderation, exercising thirty minutes every day, drinking plenty of water and getting good rest) or the fun but less healthy route (my favorite), you can still enjoy your delicious scientifically-engineered carbs.
While the future of Hostess Brands is yet to be determined, I’d say: Get ‘em while you can. Hooray for Devil Dogs, Yankee Doodles, and Pecan Rollers! Long may their terribly unhealthy banner wave.
Read more on the Twinkies crisis