 What you should order: food you like, that will not make you sick or smelly What you should not order: food you don't like or food that will make you sick or smelly See how easy that was? You're a person of dating age and you've likely been eating food in the company of other human beings for a least a couple of years now, right? Ideally without causing the people in your immediate vicinity to vomit, faint, weep or cringe? Good. You are ready to order food on a date. Go get 'em, tiger! Other resources caution against ordering anything too "weird," spicy or hard to pronounce. But if someone is going to judge you for digging Szechuan peppercorn monkfish liver bruschetta (which you mispronounced with a "sh" in the middle instead of a "sk"), they are not a person off of whose pier you ought to be fishing anyhow. Skip dessert, say a polite goodnight and a cast out a line for someone who enjoys watching you being happy. What you or your date actually ends up ordering is of infinitely less importance than how it's ordered. It's often said that how your date treats the waitress is a fairly clear indicator of how they'll treat you six months down the line. That may be true, but if they're being a big ol' jerk to the waitstaff right this moment, there's no reason to stick around and test out the theory. As Dave Barry said, "If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person." If it's too awkward to end the evening right then and there (which I did once after a date wouldn't stop embarrassing the sweet, young tiki bar waitress by ordering his piña coladas as "penis colossus"), please feel empowered to go right ahead and order the biggest, stinkiest, messiest meal the kitchen can muster. And definitely suggest that you split the check; have enough cash on hand for at least your half so you can make a quick getaway and leave a good, solid tip. But as for those food rules, one of the best first dates I ever had came about because the gentleman and I ignored a big ol’ don’t. He and I had met online and agreed to go to a now-closed Vietnamese place in New York City's Chinatown. Crab curry sounded like a fantastic idea until it arrived and we realized that it came served still in the hard shell, slathered in nuclear yellow curry sauce, with nary a cracking device or metal implement in sight. We looked at each other warily and then just dove in, using our fingers and chopsticks to coax the meat from the shells. By the end of the meal, we were both covered from fingertip to scalp with pungent curry sauce and had a first kiss on the street outside as he picked a shard of shell out of my hair. My previous boyfriend wouldn’t have set foot in the slightly divey restaurant, let alone used his hands to eat. Crab curry man and I ended up dating for two and a half years after that and we still get together to eat from time to time - now with his girlfriend and my husband in tow. Sometimes we even use utensils. Share your tales of dating travails in the comments below. If we like what we see, we just might feature it in a future post. |
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This is a terrific website, will you be interested in doing an interview regarding just how you developed it? If so e-mail me! website http://www.magician.biz
I think a simple date to coffee sounds more appropriate. Thanks for tip. :)
Imagine you are on a first date with a beautiful young lady and she chews her food with her mouth OPEN! It is not very attractive and suddenly, she seems less "beautiful". I'm not saying it was a dealbreaker, but I was always taught to keep my mouth closed when in the process of chewing. No, we are not currently seeing each other now, but for other reasons. But if you want to make a god first impression, keep your mouth closed when you chew, it's not that hard!
That's what she said !!
Chewing with mouth open IS a deal breaker, as are elbows on the table, licking plates, picking teeth and general messiness and lack of manners. If someone was not raised or doesn't care how they act while eating in company, how do you think they will behave otherwise? Yes, rudeness and innuendo to the waitstaff are worse but bad table manners are a total turn-off.
I think we went to red robin or some other burger joint I don't remember the food. All I remember is heading down to the beach to spend a really enjoyable weekend together. She came out of a bad relationship and I was working 60hr weeks. A lil r&r and we were 2 peas in a pod.
In Soviat Russia, first dates eat us!
One time I offered to take a gal to a nice restaurant. She insisted on driving which I thought was odd, but whatever. Anyways on our way to the restaurant she pulls into McDonalds. I asked "What are you doing?". She replied that she was STARVING. I suggested that maybe she wait the 10 minutes until we were at the restaurant, I knew some appetizers that were VERY fast but she ignored me and ordered a supersized meal via the drive through, shoving it in her face on the way to the restaurant. Needless to say she hardly touched her very expensive meal that I paid for. I banged her that night, and a few times afterwards, but I never offered to take her out again. I saw her a few years later and she had become really fat. I wasn't surprised, and was glad that I broke it off.
Steve's Eatocracy contribution: "I banged her that night, and a few times afterwards" What a toad. What a storyteller.
liar
Actually, the story is 100% true. I had already banged her once before this "date", but I didn't think it was relevant to the story.
I'm really laid back at restaurants. I can only think of one time when I've really shorted a waiter on the tip. I've worked for tips, and it's really not fun. I think I left something like $2 on a $35 meal. My boyfriend and I waited a really long time for drinks, the waiter never checked on us, or refilled glasses, and it took him FOREVER to get us the check and then FOREVER to bring it back. We were paying in cash. The place was pretty empty too. Idiot.
However, for first dates, I could care less what a person orders. I've got a few things I don't like, but I don't care if someone else likes them. My social circle would be very small if I took offense to everyone who liked mushrooms or pickles. If they're rude to the staff, I may sit through the meal, but I'll go back after and apologize and tip the staff. Also, that's the last time with that guy! I think the only times I wouldn't be offended if someone ordered for me would be that they know me really well (ie NOT a first date) or I've asked them for a recommendation/ surprise me if I'm not familiar with the cuisine. I would not be above ending a date right then if it was any other situation. If you're trying to control what I eat, I don't want to know what other aspects you'll try to control.
This was a surprising article. I was afraid this was going to be yet another article telling us what food was acceptable and what wasn't.
The fact is, when I take someone out on a dinner date, I want them to eat what they like and enjoy the food. The few occasions when my date seemed hesitant to order and chose to eat like a bird made me uncomfortable because I sensed they were nervous/uncomfortable.
The best advice is to be yourself and have fun. If you can't do that, find yourself someone else who you will be comfortable with.
As long as she swallows, I don't care.
If she spits....
Spits or swallows, who cares, so long as she finishes it.
I can agree with Steve. If I take a girl out to eat, she needs to eat more than a salad. I don't care what they order just know I would like a taste if it is something I have never had before.
You are soooooo 30 seconds ago....... Kat doesn't have to date because she is married and as for food,her little toe speaks Italian,Spanish,Greek,Polish and Ultra American. I won't even go to her left foot....It is a plethora of food knowledge.She just does this for fun and to educate Dumbazzes like you. Go back to Faux News... they really need you.
I'm not to much a stickler on what my date orders, but it drives me crazy when she doesn't eat it all.
I never had that problem.
I went out to breakfast (ahem) with a former boyfriend one time. It wasn't WHAT he ate, but HOW he ate it.
Pancakes, eggs, and hash browns, covered it ALL with ketchup and then stirred it up.
I almost gag just thinking about it, even now, 30 years later...LOL :)
Personally, I judge people by what they do or don't order to drink.
thash hokay wiff me ... I'll take tee martoonies pleezh
If she can pass an FBI background check, a full body cavity search and spell Mississippi, then I can splurge on dinner at Wienerschnitzel.
Shouldn't she submit an IRS audit, too?
It's just dinner,not a lifetime commitment.
Then you're buying.
What's the deal with the awful photo? Both the man and the woman are cringing over their sushi. Why did they go to a sushi restaurant if neither of them like it? Sushi doesn't make you smelly or sick, so there shouldn't be any first date taboo over it other than ordering it if you don't like it. I'm sure the place serves spring rolls too. What a stupid photo to use for this article.
Get over it. It's just a picture. Perhaps sushi doesn't make anyone "smelly" or make YOU sick, but it could make someone else sick. No matter what dish could've been displayed in the photo, someone will get their nose bent out of shape and take offense because they happen to like the dish.
Don't eat ANYTHING that will make you FART!
If you like the meal but the company stinks, I highly recommend farting. Let them make a hasty exit and you can enjoy your dinner without them. If they don't leave, fart louder. If that still doesn't work, lean over to one side and really let one go. If they don't leave, even through that, then I think you've truly found someone you can dump on.
Hahahaha!
don't forget to lift one leg on he third one
Your response is one of the funniest I've seen in a long time - actually made me laugh out loud - thank you!
simply classic.
If I were on a first date and the woman I was with ordered anything other than what she really wanted to order, anything other than what she would order if she were there alone or with her girlfriends or family, than I'd know she was a phony ***** just trying to put on airs to make a good impression, and the date would be over. One exception might be avoiding something that makes people gassy. If you like garlic, you like garlic, order it. Why would anyone order anything that would make them sick anyway? So why even mention it?
From the headline link on the front page "What not to eat on a first date.", I thought this was going to be a list of foods to avoid because they give you gas... In fact the article never even touches on what to eat or not to eat. Maybe a little truth in advertising?
Different foods have different effects on everybody. Assuming you're out of middle school and are a self-aware adult, you should know by now what foods make you f@rt.
Slow day at work?
I judge people by their table manners...how they hold their fork, use their knives, etc. I went out on a date with a guy and he used his fingers to get all the sauce that was left on his plate. He may as well have licked it up like a dog. And that's how I viewed him..."DOG". What people say also matters. One guy I was with, while eating at a Pan-Asian restaurant, claimed he was an arrogant American. I'm half Japanese. I didn't say anything but had wanted to tell him that's why so many countries don't like Americans. I've lived in Japan and Europe and always treid to respect the cultures and people of other countries. Needless to say, he was nixed.
"What people say also matters." Ummm, hmmm, yeah.
Yeah, but do you bring out your collection of battery operated adult toys on the first date or the second one ?
Yes
I asked her earlier if she anal on the first date but my comment was deleted. This one probably won't last very long either. Too many prudes around here.
Once I went on a first date with a lovely young lady. We went to the Ground Round (steakhouse chain in PA). She had a steak and I had a chicked ceasar salad. It was a fine dinner and we had a wonderful conversation; both of us discussed and eagerly anticipated and second date. HOWEVER, when I was driving home she ripped the foulest smelling "gust of bad wind" its ever been my sorry pleasure to smell (and I've spent time in the Mideast). She even tried to cover it up by cracking the window (it was middle of January). I dropped her off at her apt and drive back to my place at 75mph with all windows down. I know its shallow and mean but I just could not bring myself to calling her again.
damn...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha catch breath...hahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Sheesh, never get married dude, you won't last six months.
At the time "dude" I was 22. I've since been married for 11 years, to a PhD no less: 2 incomes, no kids, and no mortgage. This means no more Ground Round "Dude!"
You can probably relate to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuEDzDuAI6E
Imagine how mortified she was feeling! Gas happens to everyone. And yes, that is extremely shallow of you to abandon a good date because of a biological phenomenon. When you open yourself up to care about someone, you'll learn to accept a lot worse bodily functions and fluids.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! You are SO right!
I like the Indiana girls....they tip cows in the corn field.
I'm a cow. Home come nobody ever tips me ?
" Home " should be " How ". Hey... I'm a dancer. I never said anything about spelling.
If anyone orders fish anywhere near the vicinity of where i'm seated, it's not a good sign!
Worst first date I ever had:
We agreed on dinner and a movie – went to Applebees for dinner. While we're chatting and looking at the menus, he states that he has Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and has to be careful what he eats. I think to myself, "Ok...not exactly suitable dinner conversation, but I'll roll with it." – and he proceeds to order FAJITAS – complete with peppers, onions, spices, salsa. While I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that he's either lying about his ailment, or just plain doesn't care that he's probably going to spend the rest of the date in the restroom, he tries to make small talk – likes, dislikes, etc. I ask if he enjoys reading (I'm a lifelong voracious reader, 10 books on the go most of the time) – and he states he thinks reading is a waste of time. Date over. We made it through dinner, but never made it to the movie.
your just high maintenance, and that's why your gonna be a unmarried old spinster
This is hilarious – I think this is the first time I've ever gotten so many responses to a comment I made. High maintenance? Nope. But if I had the choice between spending my life with a non-reader and being a spinster, I'd take spinster every time.
Sue, I agree, you seem to have landed yourself a bona-fide, certified, good-housekeeping-seal-approved dud that night.
Yup, Jorge – I think you're right. I left out the part about him trying to stick his tongue in my ear when we said goodnight. He tried to kiss me – just kind of swooped in close when I turned my head – and ended up getting my ear and the side of my face. It was a fitting end to the date.
I usually order the liver with fava beans and a nice chianti.....
another good one! hahahahahahahahahahaha
You didn't know he didn't like reading before the date?? What was he, a stranger?
uh... it's a first date. dumb*ss.
It was a blind date – so no, we didn't know each other before the date. There was a brief introduction by a friend, that was about it. It was the first and last time I went on a blind date.
You obviously don't know as much as you think about IBS. What you eat plays only a small part of the sysptoms you experience. There are several other factors that could have a more immediate effect that eating a dish like fajitias.
You may be right – I'm not a doctor – so I'm sure I don't know everything about IBS. What I do know is that this guy told me he had IBS, ordered Fajitas, and then doubled over and ran for the restroom – 3 times – after he finished eating them.
That was the WORST date you ever had? A guy who ordered fajitas, and didn't care for books? Are you a drama queen?
Drama Queen? No. Not even close. However, I don't plan to spend the rest of my life with someone who thinks reading is a waste of time. There's a big difference between someone who "doesn't like to read" and someone who thinks it's a waste of time. I fully understand that some people don't enjoy reading, or have difficulty reading due to a learning disability – I have a child in that situation.
When you're past 55 years old - I have come to the conclusion that you just dno't sweat the small stuff – you just let it roll. Now, in your shoes on this date, I would have turned his ailment (purported) into something really funny and continued to enjoy the date. Ease up people - nobody and I mean, nobody is perfect!
Amen to that, Sharon! And you're right – I probably should have had a little fun with it, but to be honest, I wasn't sure what to make of it – or if he would react badly to my trying to make light of it.
I'm with you Sue, a man who does not read? Forget it. I don't think I could have stayed through dinner; I would have hated to laugh at him with my mouth full.
As long as you are eating the woman by nights end you will probably get along just fine
Re-read the second sentence in this article and get back to me,lol
Our first lunch date was at Bennigans. She she ordered what was probably one of the most greasy burgers I'd ever seen. The burger is messy, and she managed a small spot on her blouse. I thought to myself, "Well this is a woman who's comfortable with herself, and not putting on any pretenses..."
12 years later (11 years married and 2 kids later), she still likes cheeseburgers, and almost always manages to spill something on her blouse.
It sounds like she might be dating Bill Clinton on the side.... pun intended.
A date? Gee, what's that? Hope she doesn't mind I have to defecate 12 times a day. What's for dinner babe?
I do not defecate 12 times a day, and I don't get to date, either. If you are single like me, in a way, we are lucky. She has to date you to take everything that you own.
BTW, Ms. Kinsman, the bruschetta IS in fact pronounced "brusketta." "Brushetta" may be the more common pronunciation among Americans, but it is still wrong. In fact, in virtually every Italian word containing the paired consonants ch before an e or and i, the ch is pronounced like a k. That's the entire reason the h is in the word at all. To sum up, "brushetta" is wrong.
That's what she is saying... reread what she wrote. She is saying you mispronounced it with/by using "sh" instead of "sk."
Paul, I think you need to read it again. Mouth the words, if you have to.
We didn't eat – I was at work & told him I'd get off in 1/2 hour – he gave me his address & I brought over a 30 pack of Natural Light ;-) Still together 5 years (-;
CNN puts out some really dumb articles, and some good ones ocassionally
this one is a waste of time, not funny, just dumb
I'm sure you are both very comfy and happy in his trailer.
@Justadude-Maybe I missed it in the endless comments left on here but do you actually tip at all? I do (20%) and if I'm not happy with the service it's less but blah blah blah you've heard and knocked all those arguments down.
I tip when the service is very good. The other day I went out to a restaurant, they were very busy so most of the tables were full and the girl was obviously working very hard. She was very pretty and nice, she apologized for the wait and was very attentive. On the other hand, on another occasion I went to a restaurant where I was left to myself, I had to ask to get my water glass filled, no one ever asked me how I was doing, I had to get their attention to pay the bill, etc. You guessed it, they got ZERO tip. I think that's pretty fair.
I disagree with leaving no tip for bad service. If you received poor or otherwise discourteous service, leaving no tip will not necessarily tell your server that you were dissatisfied with their effort. After all, if he or she was that clueless in waiting you, he or she may be equally clueless as to why you left no tip and you may end up just being called a rude or cheap customer. What I suggest instead is that you leave a standard 10% – 15% tip, but you inform your server that you were very unhappy with the service and that you would like to talk to the manager whereupon you calmly explain your dissatisfaction. Hopefully, the next time you dine there, the service will have improved even if you get the same server who waited on you the first time.
A) No, I'm not going to pay anyone extra for bad service. I don't tip the exterminator for showing up late, I don't tip the cable guy for not installing my system correctly, etc. B) I will not lose any sleep about what a waitress "calls" me, I could not care less. C) If I am going to give a business advice on how to improve their service, *I* should be the one receiving the tip, not them. You don't make logical sense. D) I would never return to a restaurant with poor service. And I would recommend that others stay away from the restaurant as well. The only way we have to punish bad service is to never give them our business again.
Matt_H,
If the waiters at a restaurant are really rude, do you think it's possible that the management already knows about and either doesn't care, or cannot do anything about it? I was once at Bombay club restaurant in DC, where they lost my friend's credit card. Then the waiter just calmly asked for another card because they had lost the one he gave them earlier. When we complained to the manager, his response was "these things happen". So, complaining to manager may work, but I think not giving tip is the best way to let the servers know you are unhappy. I am not obligated to pay a tip if I did not receive service.
I agree Justadude – I earn my $$ so I most definitely don't just dish them out...unearned. As for the restaurant industry subsidizing mediocre wages by EXPECTING me to tip all the time – I may be alot of things, but sucker isn't one of them :)! Tips ARE earned. PERIOD.
I'm not inclined to judge people by what they eat. I'm far too busy judging them by the way they treat others, particularly the wait staff, and by whether they have good table manners. Nothing is quite as gross as someone who smacks his or her lips, slurps, belches, and chews with an open mouth. I find myself wondering: no matter how hot this person is, would I want to sit across from them at breakfast the next morning?
I'm pretty indifferent to what someone orders, but two behaviors give me pause. One is the Special Order Freak – "leave out the garlic in the marinara, extra dressing on the side, substitute rice for the potatoes, can I have two slices of bread instead of the bun and toast them, a glass of just ice plus a glass of water so I can mix it myself", ad infinitum. The other is someone who feels the need to give me a food lecture, either on the health benefits of his order or the deficits of mine.
And yes, I've been blessed to be at a table where someone made the ice-plus-water request. Lucky me.
"One is the Special Order Freak – "leave out the garlic in the marinara, extra dressing on the side, substitute rice for the potatoes, can I have two slices of bread instead of the bun and toast them, a glass of just ice plus a glass of water so I can mix it myself", ad infinitum."
Exactly. That sort of woman is going to be "high maintenance" in all respects. Run away.
I can't figure out why the special order freaks don't eat at home. It's one thing to ask for dressing on the side because you're trying to lose weight. But if the entire order has to be customized, why spend the money on going out when you can just cook for yourself the way you want to?
because the beotchez love drama, drama, drama.
I had a boyfriend who was a special order freak, and it drove me crazy every time. He'd order a salad that had all of these great ingredients, and by the time he had left off everything he didn't like, it was lettuce and chicken.
I once went on a blind date and we ended up at the bar of another restaurant after dinner and a show. She asked to try, and then rejected two of the wines by the glass that were offered. The bartender went to the cellar to get another wine he thought she might enjoy, she tried it and accepted it. Then a minute later, she asked if he wouldn't mind making it into a spritzer. That confirmed for me that there would be no second date.
I think I ONCE dated the same woman.
I'm a bit of a wine snob but I agree. If I choose something off the wine list and I don't like it, tough cookies. I'm paying for it.
LOL looks like that chick farted and the guy just caught a wiff of it and she's all embarassed and trying to act like she didn't do it!
My dates always seem to like it when I fart.
i dont care what they order...and i always order what looks good to me – which is usually something i've not had before if i'm at a restaurant that is new to me... but i DO pay special attention to how they treat the waitstaff. rudeness = adios.
I would rather eat BOX, dinner is too much of a committment.
"Rules for eating on a first date": Omg. CNN, take your "rules", ALL of your "rules", and stuff them! It is not your place to be telling people how to live their lives you self-important pukes. Get REAL. Eat what you want to eat! What are you going to do if/when you are a couple? Are you going to stop eating what you like to eat? If they don't like you because of what you eat or the consequences thereof then why be with them? And if you are going to alter yourself like that, are you not lying to that person? Eat what you want to Fing EAT! Wear what you want to wear! Discuss what you want to discuss! BE YOURSELF! Good GRIEF!
That's exactly what the article says. Order what you'd like and be polite to the server.
"What you should order: food you like, that will not make you sick or smelly"
Furthermore, "Rules for eating on a first date": CNN, etc., do NOT tell US what are and are not "rules" O.O Starting any article with "HERE ARE OUR RULES FOR YOU" no matter WHAT the context get nothing but the finger out of me.
So you'd like to eat food that you don't like, that makes you sick and smelly. On a date. Have fun with that.
@Huminah My quoting from the article was evidence to show Kat that her reply to me was erroneous as it does not say eat whatever you want, but qualifies that with sick or smelly. I don't eat anything that makes me either, but some people might feel that some form of food or another is smelly to THEM. It is SUBJECTIVE. And my main issue is ANY article that states that anything is a "rule". If they want to pass along information, that's fine, but to call it "rules", which happens far too often in news media, smacks of some invisible and falsely authoritative hand out there trying to tell us all what to do, what to eat, etc. I would have no problem with this article if its tone were one of pointing things out, not laying down "rules".
Right now im just incredibly grateful I don't have to be in the same room with, let alone eat with, Voltairine. How can someone get so angry and worked up over a funny little fluff article? Crack me up...
@Voltairine On behalf of the daters of the world, please stop dating. You seem so very, very angry.
i take it the rampant humor in the article was lost on you... relax. breathe. and then order – as the article clearly indicates – what you want.
It does not matter how comedic they are/were trying to be; it smacks of some people or groups who are deciding all by themselves what the "rules" are for everything. They should not have used a title that explicitly directs the reader into accepting their assertion that they have the right to present rules to...anybody.
your comments smack of someone who needs the stick removed from a certain part of their anatomy. just relax and try not to take everything so literal. this is an eatocracy blog...take it as such.
Voltarine, either you're a troll who is trying to stir up angry answers; or you truly didn't get that the "rule" was purposely written to be vague and include ALL foods you might want to order. Thus....the point of the article was to be yourself and order what you like.
OK....after reading your responses to Wendy it's obvious that you're determined to be angry at this article. Have a nice day!
LOL, keep in mind not everyone who can read has been on a date. He is a prime example I am sure.
Start with some valium Volt.
I agree – on one of my first dates, I ordered alaskan king crab legs. When I gave them a good crack, the meat flew up in the air & landed on the table behind us. We both laughed so hard we almost fell out of our chairs. Been together 30+ years & still ordering what we want.
@Volatile, I think you need a date. Been a while?
10/10 nice troll.
Sometimes I feel like I have to warn guys that I am not the typical girl who orders food then picks at it and won't really eat. I have no problem eating in front of a guy. And for the record, I don't look like a porker, so it usually surprises a guy to see how much I actually can eat. Most guys are happy to see I am not afraid to eat.
ya fear of food is a phobia i dont want to be a part of...CHOW DOWN!
Yeah, but I'll bet you do anal on the first date.
A good foodie and you keep your figure??? Sounds like my kind of gal. I'd like to cook a seafood paella for you and stand back to watch.
Are oysters good choice for first date? I always lived by sea shores, love them and know how to eat the dish properly, but I dont know if this will pass...
If you love oysters then order oysters. Would you really want to consider a long term relationship with a person who might be offended if you order something you like?
Oysters are a "polarizing food," either you like them or you don't. I would avoid them on a first date. During that first dinner, as you discuss food, you can casually broach the subject and judge the response.
no...never serve oysters to a stranger...ever.
even if you get lucky and the other person likes them...you really want your first kiss to taste like that?
Your first kiss the next morning's going to taste like that anyway.
@Little Johnny thats funny, just spit my diet coke all over my keyboard
Ooooo, Little Johnny is a baaad, baaad boy...
On a first date once, I had a man order a carafe of milk to go with his meal. I didn't know that someone could drink that much milk in a meal. Plus, it was a carafe! The whole thing was just wierd. Turned out the guy was just wierd.
"Weird" sex is the best! You went out with him again didn't you.
RUN CHILD RUN!!!!! ya im a man and i say run...If he didnt order a bud or guiness...hes out.
the kind that serves wine an put milk in its wine containers
Risking to get dissing comments: Whoever said that a kiss on the first date is a sign of "liking" or "not liking" the other person? Kissing is way too intimate and special to me. I don't kiss a guy on the first day even if I like him a lot. If this deters him, I let him go and am grateful that he doesn't take either of our time. I highly respect and appreciate the men who do not expect of offer a kiss on the first date... there maybe a potential there. And NO, I am not a virgin or a "bore" in bed. (Not suggesting that this is how everyone should be, just saying that people are different and don't let the stupid rules guide your life.) Ciao
Trust me, it is impossible for a woman to be a "bore" in bed. Most of what happens is in the man's mind anyway.
Oh it is absolutely possible for a woman to be a bore in bed.
You spelled "bore" wrong. It should start with "wh."
if your rod is large enough...she won't be a bore...mine is average...wish it were bigger.
@Phillippa-maybe he was one of those hell-bent-on-reproduction revenants out of Anne Rice novels...be grateful you got out in one piece.
Was his last name Mcpoyle?
I'm betting Robert (Raymond's brother) would say "flies."
What NOT to eat, that is.
and boogers and dingle berries. save those for the second date.
On a semi-related sidebar: it is kind of sad how tips work in this country. First of all, only the most abysmal waitstaff get no tip, primarily because of how little they are paid as a wage. I for one vote that we pay them minimum wage and let them earn their tips the old-fashioned way. Average service is, well, average–we don't tip garbagemen or ticket-takers or Subway "sandwich artists" for average service because it's nothing special. But above average or exemplary service, that's when I dump a couple bucks in the tip jar after the bill is paid.
On that note, does anyone else find it weird that servers expect a tip for showing up at your table promptly, but paramedics don't expect a tip for showing up at your house to save your life promptly?
While they don't get rich off their pay, paramedics make a living wage. Your average restaurant server doesn't.
I don't know how much you think paramedics/policemen/firemen make, but it's barely a "living wage". Policemen and firefighters also risk their lives on a daily basis, while waiters don't. I don't tip waiters unless they go above and beyond their job.
When I was married to a paramedic and I knew exactly what he made. He lived off it just fine before we got married and we lived off it and my income just fine. Thanks for asking.
Should have been
"... we lived off it and my income after we got married just fine."
@AleeD:
That was my point. Pay the servers a living wage, and I'll tip them if they damn well deserve it. Conversely, I'd cheerfully tip the paramedics if I were in any condition to do so (I've never had to though, knock on wood).
Then he must have been a paramedic in Hollywood, CA. I was a policeman for years on the east coast, and I was barely able to live on what I made. I never got tipped for doing my job, and I risked my life doing it. So forgive me if I don't tip waiters just for doing their job. When they start tipping policemen, firefighters, teachers, Marines, nurses and animal control officers (who make much less than police officers) just for doing their job, I'll start tipping waiters for simply doing their job.
No arguments from me, Shadow. I thought you were asking why servers get tipped and occupations like 'medics don't. I'm with you 100% that 'medics and cops deserve so much more than a paycheck for putting their life on the line. Sadly our society doesn't pay people based on their value to society. More's the pity.
Just a dud, we lived in Florida, paid bills on time and led a good life. Guess it's all in your definition of what a living wage is.
@Alee
Again, it matters WHERE. For example, Ft Lauderdale PD gets paid a lot more than Podunk, Lake Co, FL. For obvious reasons. The point is, we didn't get tipped. And we put a lot more on the line than waiters. And it's not just about that– teachers, firefighters, military, etc etc, don't get tipped. So I'm not going to freaking tip waiters for just doing their job. If they go above and beyond, then fine, if I want to come back to that restaurant to eat.
It doesn't matter where. The fact is "... we lived in Florida, paid bills on time and led a good life. Guess it's all in your definition of what a living wage is." If you're trying to judge what I think is a living wage = what you think is a living wage, then you're fighting a losing battle. I meant what I said and neither you nor anyone else will change that.
You don't fuk with my friends,I don't care who you think u r......rh
Wait staff make an hourly rate well under the minimum wage. I believe the other occupations you are talking about make well above the minimum. In this country it is customary to tip wait staff, but not required. If you are comfortable taking up a table in a restaurant and not tipping because because they are "just doing their job", don't tip. But think how you would feel making less than minimum wage and some cretin taking up a table that may actually enjoy the service and leave a decent tip. Sleep well.
Justadude is just plain bitter. I was raised by police officers and was married to one. I am a registered nurse and I have dated a paramedic. All of these professions make a living wage. (And for the record none of them whined about putting their lives on the line. They knew it was part of the job. There attitude was accept it or go do something else). My parents put 2 kids through private school and college on their salaries. As an RN I enjoy a comfortable lifestyle with my husband. We will never be rich, but we are able to take 2 vacations and be mostly satisfied with life. I would love to see waitstaff make minimum wage. However they don't. If you can't afford to tip stay home.
6 years ago when I was a waitress, the minimum wage for waitstaff was only about $2.40. There is no way anyone, or someone contributing to a family could make ends meet if they only got a few ok tips for exemplary service. I tip 20% on average at a sit down restaurant, less if it is awful service, more if it was just great. Only once have I not left anything for a sit down meal.
@DevRN
No, I am going to continue to eat at restaurants and not tip if they don't deserve it. Thanks for your advice, but you can put it where the sun don't shine, frankly. You talk about whining?? all you are doing is whining about how hard it is to be a waiter. Sorry, if you can't afford to live with what you make as a waiter, DO SOMETHING ELSE FOR A LIVING. Quit whining. Again, I did my job which was MUCH more dangerous than being a waiter, and I didn't get tipped. I will NOT tip anyone else for simply doing their job. Period. And I will continue to eat at restaurants. Thanks!
@ex-waitress
It isn't my responsibility as a diner to pay your wages, to make sure you have enough money to live on, etc. That is YOUR and your employer's responsibility. He pays you, not me. If you can't afford to be a waitress, do something else for a living. No one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to be a waitress. If that is what you wanted to do, then do it.
The point is, it's really sad to note that there's a tip jar at the Starbucks counter but they're not allowed to have one in the ambulance...actionwise, who *really* deserves the exta income?
Also, the tipping system makes no sense. 10% for terrible service when the bill is filet mignon and a nice bottle of wine is a LOT more than 20% for excellent service on a burger and fries. The server has nothing to do with what I order (except maybe for reciting the specials), yet over half of their "wages" reflects the value of my choice.
There's nothing saying that when a business puts a tip jar on the counter, you have to contribute. That can be ignored as easily as the impulse buys they crowd our the cash register. There are no steadfast rules on tipping in restaurants either.
EMT's 'medics & cops definitely deserve more than they get paid. If there was a tip jar in an ambulance, fire or rescue vehicle, what would you think was a fair tip? I don't know because they aren't handing me a bill at the time of service (at least they didn't last time I had to call on them). ;) Would you want to be the person making the decision what to tip them? I wouldn't. It would never be enough.
Exactly! Also, the tipping system creates unfair favoritism– if you are a regular at a restaurant, and you regularly tip well, you are going to get much better service than a newcomer who just walked in. Or, what if I'm just someone who barely has enough money to pay the bill itself, and can't afford a tip that day? That means the next time I come in I'm going to be treated like dirt. That isn't fair, and yet another reason why the tipping system sucks.
@Alee
You are very naive. As someone who served as a policeman myself, I can tell you that if we accepted money for our service, we would immediately be suspended pending investigation, and shortly after that terminated, then charged with corruption, found guilty and jailed. Police obviously cannot accept money from citizens, that is expressly forbidden, it's called "Gratuities", or bribes. That just solidifies the point– not only DID I not get tipped, I COULD NOT get tipped as a policeman.
We all get that you were a cop, that you didn't get paid what you're worth, you put your life on the line and you're bitter about not getting tipped. FTR, nobody is paid what they think they're worth, so get a grip. The tipping system is unfair and it sux – no argument from me. If you don't want to tip anyone ever again, make it so. Your money, your choice. No one is trying to take anything away from you. If you want to make changes to the system, figure out a way to make it happen and quit whining about it. Calling me naive is misplaced in this case because I was addressing Shadow's comment, not yours.
If you want to change the tipping system, heres a hint. Open a restaurant and pay the wait staff just aboeve minimum wage. This cost will be reflected in your prices. Lets see how long you stay in business. Oh yeah, you need to provide health care, too. Maybe a 401k. Now do you see ? Even if everybody did the same thing, How long before restaurants started closing left and right. Restaurants have a very high failure rate.
Be yourself from the first date on and order whatever the heck you want. If you're going to be conscious of that and order something clean and easy to eat, then are you never going to eat something semi-messy or smelly or non-traditional in front of your significant other?
I tried sushi on my first date with my current boyfriend never having eaten it and not knowing what it would do to me. But I ended up loving it and he and I go back to the same sushi place often.
If you listen to all these rules about how to act and forget who you are and to be yourself, it'll never work out. Granted, don't eat soup like the Beast from "Beauty and the Beast" when he was eating with Belle, but don't change what you want to eat just because you could make a little mess. If the person doesn't appreciate it, then you shouldn't be with them.
On the other hand guys, while you are all bashing the women, my last first-time date took me to a bar where I sat with 10 of his friends for 25 cent wing night, and instead of covering the cost of my meal, he tossed $10 in for himself and passed the bill along to me to do the same. Call me old-fashioned but, c'mon now. For the first date??? Yep, I'll see you again soon...riiiiiight.
That's the difference between men and women. I would have loved to go out with a woman and her 10 friends (assuming they were all female). If it didn't work out with her, I might get lucky with one of the friends. Or both. Gotta look at the bright side of things.
Umm, on a first date? No, I don't think she saw THAT coming. Folks on a first date haven't usually known each other too awful long, and unless the bill is discussed before hand, many women still expect enough caliber of manhood from a guy that includes HIM picking up the tab.
Only if she can fuking read minds. Way to go, genius.
You're sure he considered this a date?
You expected him to pay for the meal of someone that was mostly a stranger. Guys are not ATM machines. Women wanted equality, and they got it – here's your part of the bill. Heh.
The pronunciation of brushetta depends on regional dialects in Italy. Both are "correct" based on who you ask.
this is true. the more modern pronunciation is with the "sh" sound but seeing as how it originated from Latin in which there is no soft "c," it is still pronounced by some with the hard "c" despite that the spelling has changed slightly.
Dating age? What is that supposed to mean?
I assume it means of the age that people tend to start dating. Which in my case would be a teen or older.
did your parents drop you off at the restaurant? if not then you're probably of dating age.
I don't eat beef, pork, or cute things. (Please commence the eye-rolling. I'll wait. No, really, I'm used to it, I'll wait.)
I stopped eating beef and pork in high school. I didn't have the healthiest diet, and one day I figured that if I cut out red meat, it would be better for me. Several months later, I realized I hadn't had any pork in a while, and officially stopped eating that, too. Cutting out those two things helped me lose about 20 pounds. (Note: It's entirely possible to be at a healthy weight and still eat beef and pork. It's also possible to eschew beef and pork and still be overweight. It just happened to work for me.) It's been about fifteen years since I stopped eating beef and pork, and if I eat something today that's cooked in beef stock or contains bacon or was even cooked immediately after a steak, I get sick. My diet is my choice, and I pay for it once every couple months.
Other than that, I'm a picky eater. My grandmother didn't force my father to eat anything, so he grew up as a very picky eater. He didn't try strawberries for the first time til I was about ten. If I make spaghetti sauce, he picks out all the basil, just in case it's spinach. (Yes, it's been spinach before. I'm sneaky.) As a result, my plate as a child was somewhat limited. My mother did the best she could, always providing 2-3 vegetables on our plates, but uptake was slow. Additionally, I'm what they call a "supertaster", which means that things taste more bitter to me. The smell of cooked broccoli literally makes me nauseous, for example.
I didn't ask that the guys I dated subscribe to my diet restrictions. If we went out, they could order whatever they felt like. I cook, but (special occasions aside) I'm not cooking something I don't eat (and since I have no idea how to cook a steak, would you really want me to?). It just means that if I end up cooking frequently, the guy doesn't get beef or pork. My ex got a little bitter about it – he liked steak, and the infrequency of his consumption of steak annoyed him. (One of many reasons that didn't work out.)
My husband ate all kinds of meat before we got together, and while the infrequency of his steak consumption has led him to voluntarily stop eating it, he'll still eat pork, bison, duck, and other things I won't. He doesn't hold it against me. He's a pretty healthy guy anyway, so he's fine with his primary proteins being chicken, fish, and turkey. On the flip side, he hates beans, which is just really unfortunate.
I knew pretty quickly that dating a guy who resented my food choices wouldn't work out for either of us, so I'm pretty lucky.
I think the little miniature tomatoes are really cute. I think bear-shaped chocolates are cute. Should I not eat them..?
It's up to you. :) I can make all sorts of squawking noises about why I don't eat rabbit, duck, etc., but it all boils down to them being cute. You're welcome to decide that's a really lame reason, and I can't disagree with you, but it is what it is.
No, that's ok. So I assume you eat wild boar? Which is a delicacy in Spain. There is NO ONE on earth who would say a wild boar is cute. Or, how about alligator...? Alligator can be yummy, and not cute. And, I don't know anyone who thinks a turkey is cute. Stupid-looking and ungainly yes, but cute, no.
I didn't say cute was my only restriction.
I think that once you stop eating a protein, your stomach loses the enzymes necessary to digest it. (This may or may not be true, but I promise I get sick if I eat something that's been "contaminated" by beef or pork. If you personally tried alligator despite never having eaten it before, you probably wouldn't get sick. I probably would.) So I probably couldn't eat wild boar, because I don't eat domestic pork. They're probably similar enough that I wouldn't be able to digest it.
I do eat turkey. There's pretty decent turkey bacon. (There's also pretty terrible turkey bacon.) Turkey burgers, turkey sandwiches...
Tell me about it. There is a huge flock of wild turkeys that keep gallivanting around my property (I live in the country). I just bought a crossbow, so there may be plenty of turkey bacon in my future soon.
Are they disruptive? I'm a city girl, so my only live turkey experiences have been field trips and state fairs.
There's something about turkeys that endears them to me. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the way they walk? They're weird looking and have evil eyes, so they're not cute.
No, they're not disruptive, they're just tasty lol. It's a shame to waste the opportunity. I will have a large, wild turkey for Thanksgiving (or earlier) for free. Not storebought and full of chemicals/preservatives. I don't know about their being weird looking, but they are exceedingly stupid. They try to mate with decoys, they won't get out of the road, etc etc.
In Equador, the delicacy there is deep fried Guinea Pig.
If it was me, I'd be making my own steak when I wanted it, not waiting for someone else to cook it for me.
I've never really understood the women-cook-men-eat att!tude, myself. I used to think it was a generational thing, but now I think it's just how one was raised. My evil parental units often made the evil sibling and I cook meals as we were old enough. Age and gender made little difference to them. Consequently, I find it the concept of sitting around starving until (or going without unless) the woman makes you food a bit ludicrous.
That was nice. Now shut up and make my dinner.
Yea, I don't mind if the fellow wants to make his own special entree. (When we make pasta, husband likes sausage in his, and I prefer mine without meat. He's bought turkey sausage, chicken sausage, etc., but I just prefer mine without meat. So, he buys pork sausage and cooks his sauce, and my sauce is added to the pasta separately.) It's just that when you're first dating someone you really like, if you're going to cook, you're going to cook something both of you can enjoy. He pretty much stopped eating beef because neither of us cooked it, and he'd stopped for long enough that when he did eat it again, he got sick.
That was... quite amusing, justadude. Really. The minions have just had a good laugh.
I'm only vaguely familiar with Ho-Hos. If they are what I think they are (chocolate cupcakes with white squiggles on top? [pause for Wikipedia] nope, they're like Swiss Rolls), I prefer Little Debbies. You'd be surprised how many of those packaged desserts contain lard, though, which makes me sick. I don't generally like overly-sweet things.
Perhaps I could lose 20 pounds if I gave up pork, but life wouldn't be worth living!
a meat diet won't make you as fat as a high carb / sugar diet.
Perhaps your ex was bitter because you are incredibly high maintenance and focus too much on yourself.
I'm curious. What led you to believe that all of CNN needed to hear about what you will and won't eat in such great detail?
Thank you – those were my exact thoughts.
put some of my wife's cooking in front of that chick and she will lose her mind...
I hope there's actually a food out there with that name; it sounds vaguely obscene.
I can just imagine this gal's husband ordering at a BBQ restaurant-"A half-rack of baby backs for me and a helping of butt-ugly turkey for Sara, make sure it had evil eyes."
you are gonna die of something...may as well be happy about what you eat.
How your date behaves in a restaurant setting can be a huge indicator of their level of patience, respect for others (waitstaff) and social savvy. If you want it to turn into date #2, be on your best behavior, but be genuine. And follow your date's lead on drink pace :)
I don't think that I should have to help, or do a favor, for a girl or anyone for that matter. If I need something then I am nice to them so they'll help me out, but once they need a favor I'm out the door. Nobody can get to me and I outsmart them all.
I once had a lone first date with a guy who returned his soft drink to the kitchen because "it didn't taste like Coke." Really?!? He also returned his pasta dish, but at that point I'd mentally checked out and don't remember the reason why he couldn't eat it. No one should have to eat food that is prepared wrong, but I'm thinking, you really only get one return per date. Choose wisely.
Typical brainless broad. The soda mix could have easily been running low and his drink would in fact not taste like coke. And I bet you a million clams, if he mentioned that there was something wrong with his pasta and did NOT send it back you would use that as an excuse to still criticize the man.
Since when do women need an excuse to complain? Or men for that matter?
Typical abusive man.
Face it: When including women in your life, you are DIYDDIYD. (Damned if you do, damned if you don't).
Then date men – esp. trolls. You all seem to have alot in common.
LOL If I were gay I'd date the hell out of men. A lot easier to deal with and half the bull***t. But unfortunately I don't swing that way.
So you're telling me, if a woman did this on a date with you (multiple returns), you wouldn't look askance at it, you'd take it in stride and not judge? Based on your defensive response to me, I'd guess not.
@ Marie
Are you kidding? Do you mean if a woman sent her food/drink back? Of course I wouldn't look askance at it... I've gone on probably hundreds of dates in my life and women have done that plenty of times. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her– maybe the soda and pasta was genuinely bad. I wouldn't do it too much though, because the staff is liable to add some "special sauce".
@Justadude: We agree, then. As I've said, everyone's entitled to return food, just not to do it excessively. Twice in a 15-minute period is excessive, in my opinion.
Marie, for me it would totally depend on what he returned. If the syrup had run out on the Coke line then I'd of course send it back and hope they could fix it. As for the pasta; did it come out wrong? If it truly did then I'd have no problem with a second "return". If he was being VERY nit picky that might be a different story.
This was completely useless.
Where are the rules?
What is this article driving at?
Darn! You just missed the enrollment period for your remedial reading comprehension course. Please refrain from posting comments until & unless you finish the course next year.
This is kind of ridiculous...as a chef, I want my date to experiment, try something new (even if they cant pronounce it). I will offer to pay for it, but women today with a cautious and moral side (bad economy) will at least offer to pay for their share of the meal, if they know that the relationship is headed nowhere...throw the rules of dating out the window folks, its a new day and those antiquated rules of engagement only have you in awkward positions, trying desperately to justify them and fit yourself to it...screw that, if me and my date pig out on a 32 oz steak, then have hot gassy sex afterwards, then thats whats up...as long as we're both comfortable with it...besides, we're all human right? (except the tea-party nutsos and the current republican frontrunners, they are from outter space somewhere...seriously)
Just because you worked at Waffle House for a week doesn't mean you are a "chef". Or do you mean "chef" in the South Park version of the term– you work in the local grammar school cafeteria?
@chef and lover: Good points! There are a lot of people out of work and even more underemployed (i.e. on a tight food budget).
I know this sounds bad, but I've been on as many dates where we've slept together first as I have where we went to dinner first. I like to talk on the phone for a week before we meet, long talks late at night with all the lights off... and by the time you meet you both cannot stand it anymore, when she opens the door don't even say a word, but give her the hottest, most passionate kiss (or run).
Freakazoid Alert!!! Sociopath.
LIKE A BOSS!!
I prefer to smell those panties before I enter!
...and then you wake up in a cold sweat and you have to change your wet, sticky underwear. Yes, I know, that used to happen to me when I was 15.
You are right, it sounds bad. How many restraining orders have you been slapped with?
One first date and I met at a restaurant bar planning to hit a comedy club later. I was pretty hungry and after about 45 minutes of small talk with no food ordering in sight, I casually mentioned eating. He said "Well, I ate before I came, but if you want to order something go ahead." Not awkward at all, huh? I did end up ordering something, but honestly, who eats BEFORE a date? Fortunately I didn't just write him off (did think about it!) and he made up for it in later dates. We've been married for 15 years now.
as long as they put out. idc
well said! by far the smartest comment on this page
put out what? the silverware?
Isn't it about time for you to catch the bus for middle school, young lady?
I used to take my ex to Wendy's all the time, is that bad? I mean we'd go out to eat at a sit down restaurant occassionally (<10% of the time), but I just like Wendy's. She was also pretty foreign and didn't speak much english lol.
At least he is getting la id you we nch.
Not necessarily a deal-killer – I happen to like Wendy's, too. However, if YOU went because YOU like Wendy's, that might have something to do with why she's your "ex"...
...and then she got her green card and dumped him like you dump a lunch of chestnuts and eggs in a roadhouse toilet...
Rule #1 Observe good manners. Rule #2 Don't pig out. Rule #3 Don't get drunk. Rule #4 You're first having a date, then you're eating something... do not place your attention on the food, place your attention on your date. Rule #5 Turn off your goddam cell phone. Rule #6 Don't criticize the food, the restaurant or anyone for that matter, you'll be seen as either picky, nosy or just a plain dickhead. Rule #7 Eat at the same pace as your date. Rule #8 Always offer to pay the check first. Rule #9 Dress according to the restaurant you're in... don't wear shorts to a steak house, don't wear a suit to a beach bar. Last but not least, if your date is nice and you like her... thank her for the time you're having with her.... because otherwise you could be having a horrific time at your house playing videogames. Follow these rules, and you will do very well. Good luck.
Well, my question would be which videogame? If it's a cool emulation of Galaxian it might be worth it to skip the date and stay home.
I like those rules! Nice, simple, focused on good manners...
But one thing... depending on the date in question she may be just as interested in the video games!
There are lady geeks/gamers out there... and I speak as one of them (I'm not much for console games myself, but that's me. Like everything else there's a your mileage will vary aspect to interests). :)
Yes, there are females who play video games. But there are no HOT females who play video games. Just as there are no hot women named Mildred.
You have no idea what Mil looks like, you flacc!d tw!t. She's got a heart of gold and is a caring, loving woman. For all we know you look like the elephant man. We already know from this comment you are socially autistic and have the personality of a$phalt. Go back to your mommie's basement, you soulless w0rm. No one here is going to miss you.
You might be surprised, Justadude. There are more of us female gamers out there than people think. :-)
I was enjoying some of your posts until the crack at Mil. You are a fracking azzhole.
You've obviously never heard of the frag dolls.. I'm an xbox gamer girl myself and sometimes after a long day at work gaming with my boyfriend is just the right way to end the day.
Hey guys, I'm just keepin it real. You know very well there are no hot women who play video games. Not that men who play video games are anything to look at either, but come on!
A) Ally, send us your pic, and we'll judge if you're hot. I never said there were no female gamers. I said there are no female HOT ones.
B) The fact remains that there are no hot women named Mildred. Find one and prove me wrong.
I have spoken.
I'm a "Bejeweled Twist" h0 myself. :D
Justadude, well I suppose it would depend on your particular likes and dislikes. My boyfriend certainly tells me I'm hot. I've had guys say things like "You're a gamer?! Wow, a hot chick who's a gamer!" I'm certainly not model caliber, but I'm not ugly. ...and I love watching sports too...
But I didn't mean to make this about me. Just pointing out that the stereotype doesn't fit 100% of the time. Cheers!
You don't fuk with my friends,,, I don't care who you think u r...rh
Justadude, if I was you, I would do daily stretches and limber up, for the day when someone offers you a blind date with a woman named Cornelia, who is a Legend of Zelda freak, snorts a little when she laughs and likes bisonburgers with horsradish sauce and red onions and you refuse, only to discover later that she has the looks of Sofia Vergara, an I.Q. of 140 and tenure at a major university as an S.D. with a specialty in Sexual Anthropology, so you can kick yoursef harder.
"Rules for eating on a first date"......if she lets you :)
Truedat!
One of the most ridiculous, rambling articles ever written. As for dating, what about just using common sense and courtesy? Taking advice from this column certainly won't help in that department.
Your comment was way off and unnecessary. Eff off.
I've been blessed physically, so I never lack for male attention. Consequently, men who date me don't realize that the first few dates are tantamount to job interviews. He WILL pay. That is not even negotiable. Something WILL be wrong with the food, and if he will not stand up to the waitstaff, I will make note of it. I will also be evaluating his car, clothes and demeanor. My standards are very demanding, as they should be.
Pass on you.
Instead of 'pass' I think you meant p!ss.
No wonder you're stuck dating so many guys. They frolic in the sack with you, then boot you out the door. Wam bam thank you m'am. No man is going to take your attitude.
We'd be perfect together. I'll stand up for you.
On the contrary, Corinn, you will pay for the meal and happily so. So shut your mouth until spoken to.
Once she is over 40, her attitude will change.
What if the waitstaff is cooperative...does he still still have to "stand up" to them?
This is the most shallow and immature response I've ever read on the subject. You might be attractive like a nice car or house on the outside, but on the inside you're a fixer upper.
O man, nothing more us guys want than a Kim Kardashian wannabe. The joke of it is I bet you aren't even that attractive.
you are right about one thing. first dates/impressions *are* like job interviews. you just got sent to the 'we will get back to you' file.
test me like that honey and you fail the test!
Which is probably why you'll be going on dates until your beauty fades. Then, with no redemable personalitly qualities to fall back on, the men will stop calling, and you will die alone, bitter, and surrounded by cats. This is the truth, and reality of your future. Karmas a bigger bitch than you are.
I knew somebody on here would say the exact opposite, as far as standing up for himself. So it is a no-win situation. It all depends on who your date is as to whether you should treat the waiter nicely, or harshly. As for you, I'd figure out real quick what a bitch you are (despite your good looks) and find a nice nerd girl for myself next time. And just FYI – with your "standards" you are going to catch a lot of really great jerks for boyfriends. Then you'll probably blame all men as being jerks, when in reality it was you who attract only jerks.
So because you are good looking, you think that makes you something special over anyone else? Someone should only stand up for you if you are insulted, or if they know you really well. Just having an order messed up is not something to get bent out of shape right away over. It's people like you who get your food spit in. If you really expect these things you better be putting out on the first date. You should expect to be treated nicely because of WHO you are, not because of your looks. Since you are obviously a person who has your head up your ass, you deserve to be used for your looks and treated like a piece of meat.
if she gets into a relationship, my prediction is "it won't last very long". Good Luck!.
Beauty fades.
Your nasty personality, sadly, will not. Enjoy being alone.
You are NOT REEEAAAARRRRRLYY good enough looking to be talking the trash that your talking!
I hope that at the very least you do anal on the first date.
Corinn, how sad and how stuck on yourself can a person be?!? How many 2nd dates have you had? You may be very pretty but as you age, I bet you become VERY lonely! WOW, sorry I just can't get over your comments and I have to say "good luck". I truly believe you're going to need luck!!!! Even Karma is going to be afraid of YOU!!
Right on Kaitlyn.. She sounds like a real witch.. very sad she has the attitude going into a 1st date. What guy would dig on that??
I had to read your post twice to realize you were serious! Well, all I can say is that I have raised two young men to hopefully be nice and patient to women like you and get them home safely even when they want to toss you out of their car on your expansive rear. I bet you snap your fingers at the waiter. The man should pay for the first date of a restaurant of his choice and you should be considerate of not only the cost of the meal but the drinks served along with it. Guys don't have that kind of money to spend at every meal for princesses. You should at least offer to split the bill for any meals afterwards. Get off your 6 inch Louboutin heels and get real, you are scaring me.
GOOD FOR YOU!! If MORE women adopted this philosophy, we would have more MEN, instead of little boys. Just one word of advice: Remain polite, even with a loser until the date is over, and don't let men, excuse me, BOYS, have sex with you. You don't necessarily have to do the wait until marriage routine, but if not, make it as darn close to that as possible. Another huge problem in society is when boys dump you and go on to the next woman who doesn't have the self esteem to demand the same thing.
You have to be the biggest B around! Oh and I am a woman. Trust me hunny, I am blessed as well and would never "judge" (couldn't find the right word) a man. Gee maybe why I'm not single.
Pass on you. NEXT!
Corinn, as proud as you are of your looks, you most probably fall short of MANY women that I've met overseas; simple women of modest means, faces like Aphrodite, speech like the Sirens of Achelous, figures like the Circassians and above all, HUMILITY and character like Mother Teresa. The world is bigger than you think, get over yourself, little girl. (And by the way, since you brought up the subject; although I am not extremely wealthy or handsome by any means, I married one of these women, own four cars, one of which is a Dupont-registered classic 1979 AMG-modified Mercedes 6.9, another a Lexus for her, I live in a Southern architecture home with a harvested cypress-wood moon deck off of the second-story master suite which overlooks my 20' by 40' in-ground ceramic-tiled pool [all of which I did myself], and in my youngest, poorest, most inexperienced age, I would have never given a girl with your rather 'pedestrian' mindset more than a good, long stare).
Sometimes God gives girls a choice between boobs and brains. Someone didn't get brains.
I only have an issue with what SHE orders if we go to a decent restaurant ($30-$50 a plate) and she orders stuff from the kids menu or a standard burger.
I would not want to date a vegatarian for very long, at least I would know it wouldn't work out in the long run. It may be fun for awile just like anyone but when it comes to living together and having to share meal responsiblities it wouldn't work. I want meat with my meals and I would believe most vegetarian would try to have me eat their meals and convince me it was good. It's not good. I had a veggy roommate once, it was very annoying.
I dated a vegetarian for almost a year.
He introduced me to meat substitutes. Gimme Lean has a weird texture, but if you chop it finely for something like a sausage gravy, the taste is similar and the texture isn't noticeable. Quorn is made from mushrooms, and is texturally very similar to a baked chicken. There are also some vegetarian "chicken" patties sold in the frozen section of Whole Foods that are quite good and can substitute for fried chicken sandwiches. (There used to be a mostly-vegetarian restaurant around here that served them, in addition to fake shredded BBQ. Both were excellent.) My enjoyment of meat substitutes was directly related to how well they were prepared. But some vegetarians don't like to eat the substitutes simply because they don't like meat – how well the protein simulates actual meat is a deterrent for them.
Tofu is good as well – fried firm tofu is probably a good place to start, as it's the most substantial – and the one time I had seitan, I enjoyed it. It was a little salty, but that could've been the preparation and not the seitan itself.
If you enjoy eating meat, the substitutes will probably be poor replicas. If you'd like to eat less meat, the substitutes may be enjoyable for you.
If it's any consolation, the vegetarian may not enjoy dating a meat-eater either. I love the turkey burger at Ruby Tuesdays, but my ex hated to go there because their vegetarian options were either salad or a veggie burger, both of which were kinda boring for him.
I would not serve Quorn on a first date. Roughly 10% of people will get violently ill after eating it (it's a type of mold that some are severely allergic to), while others are perfectly fine. My wife and I tried it – what happened to her was not pretty.
I judge if they're ordering something nasty like octopus or snails or mushrooms. I won't date a girl who eats things that are slimy, have tentacles, or is a fungus.
I honestly don't care what they order as long as they don't order for me. I went on a first date and my jaw almost hit the table when he said.. " and she'll have.." Thats a total turn off for me. Otherwise I usually give a three date minimum before I kick anyone to the curb because first dates are nerve wrecking and sometimes it takes some getting use to.
You need to learn your place. :D
Haha i would've kicked you to the curb. If you didn't trust my instinct when I choose what you'll have then you're not worth it for me. I took my ex girlfriend to Wendys (fast food) all the time and she was ok with that.
You two were in a relationship. I'll assume you actually knew more then your girlfriends name at the time. First dates are getting to know someone, but thanks for your input. :)
WOW! Think much of yourself, there "Craigster"??
Christinaa this is no joke– when I lived in Germany I met a woman who actually asked me out to dinner, and actually ordered for me. My jaw hit the ground too, but to be honest I was intrigued. She picked out the restaurants and ordered for me on the next 3 dates too, and I ended up not minding it. I fell in love with her and we had a 2 years relationship. So don't sell someone like that short...
Oh I didn't. Like I said I have a 3 date minimum to give guys a chance to be themselves. She stuck out when he told me that he was a man and need not be questioned by me. :)
I don't typically judge a date on what she eats . Really, I could care less. If it's too smelly, a little bit of booze (or, if she doesn't drink, some breath mints) long before the first kiss will take care of any breath issues. What I DO look for is whether she will actually order something to eat, and eat it, or graze on rabbit food claiming she's "not that hungry." Either you ate before we went on our date (so not cool), or you are too self conscious to admit that you eat at all (doubly not cool). In short: rudeness and eating disorders are not what I look for in a woman.
The one important thing you can learn during that first meal together is whether or not your date is a picky eater. Everyone has a couple of foods that they don't like. I cannot stand it, however, when someone is picky just for the sake of being picky. If a date is freaked out by almost everything a menu and refuses to eat anything that isn’t just 'plain', that guy will never work for me. I like to cook and experiment with different foods; I like to go out to different kinds of restaurants. I want my boyfriend to do those things with me. Besides, I grew up in a family of 6 kids. You ate what was served; no one had the option of being picky. All of my brothers and sisters and I now will eat just about any kind of cuisine, and I’m grateful to my parents for not allowing us to be picky. If you ask me – a grown man who is an extremely picky eater is simply immature. I just can't stomach that kind of behavior (no pun intended, haha;).
Let me get this straight, you are going to judge someone's maturity based on what they like to eat? I think that is in the dictionary under the definition for "shallow".
Judging by that response, I'll assume you're a picky eater;). That's certainly not the only factor nor is it the most important factor, but it is something to consider. It’s really not about the food. People, of course, have food like and dislikes. An unwillingness to try anything new or eat something out of the ordinary at a restaurant generally is a reflection of how that person behaves in other aspects of their lives. There is food beyond plain pasta and there is a whole world outside of the tiny town you grew up in. That's all I'm saying. I'm happily married now, but in my years of dating, the men who were picky eaters (and I dated a few of them for long stretches of time) always always ended up being less mature then the men who weren't. I suspect you know that to be true, but the truth can be hard to swollow sometimes!!
@Liz,
A) It's spelled swallow, not swollow. Your inability to spell swallow might perhaps say more about you than the whole food thing... but I won't go further on that.
B) Again, I grew up overseas, spent many years overseas due to having been in the military, followed by years in law enforcement. I ride a motorcycle, fly airplanes, hunt, target shoot, and hike/camp for fun. I have seen things that would make you vomit and eaten things that would make you shudder, or vice versa. So if you were to assume that I am somehow provincial because, when I go out to eat with you, I am picky, you would be being shallow and incorrect in your judgement. Do you understand what I mean?
How ironic, I also spent years in the military (just got out a few months ago). I also went to war and saw some pretty crazy, horrible things. I'm also a military brat and grew up overseas. And – thank you for pointing out my one, minor typo. Who’s shallow now? I'm sorry you're a picky eater. You're really missing out. Based on all of the negative comments you've posted on what everyone else has said and the fact that you are rude to waiters (also a big red flag for me and most good people in the world),I can tell you are also a very very unpleasant and disagreeable person with an overwhelming need to be right all the time. I'm sure glad I don't have to go on dates with you!! You are only proving my point about the link between picky eaters and immaturity. And, next time a woman rejects you, it’s not because you’re a picky eater, it’s because you’re an a-hole. Have a nice day!
How ironic, I also spent years in the military (just got out a few months ago). I also went to war and saw/ate some pretty crazy, horrible things. I'm also a military brat and grew up overseas. And – thank you for pointing out my one, minor typo. Who’s shallow now? I'm sorry you're a picky eater. You're really missing out. Based on all of the negative comments you've posted on what everyone else has said and the fact that you are rude to waiters (also a big red flag for me and most good people in the world), it seems you’re also a very very argumentative person with an overwhelming need to be right all the time. I'm sure glad I don't have to go on dates with you!! You are only proving my point about the link between picky eaters and immaturity. I do, in all honesty, thank you for your service and appreciate what you have done for this country (vets have to support vets). However, next time a woman rejects you, know that it's not because you’re a picky eater, it’s because you're not a super nice guy. Girls hate guys who are know-it-alls. I'm just sayin'...
@Liz
A) I didn't say I was a picky eater. I like going to restaurants and eating food that most American can't stand– for example I love Indian dishes with goat in them, I like spicy German food, Thai food, Peruvian, I like goose eggs better than chicken eggs (much bigger, and gamier taste), I hunt/skin and eat rabbit and squirrel, I bake my own pies, etc etc. I wasn't referring to myself regarding your post, I meant any guy in general. Just because a guy might be a picky eater, while at a restaurant with YOU, doesn't mean he is provincial. Get it?
B) I never said I was RUDE to waiters. I said I simply don't pay them more for simply doing their job. if they were exceptionally good, then absolutely, I would tip them. But when was the last time you were tipped by someone for serving your country? When was the last time a custodian was tipped for mopping the classroom your son learns in? When was the last time your son's teacher got tipped for teaching your kid math? Yet they perform a much more important service than danged waiters. That is my point.
C) I don't get rejected. At least I haven't since High School. Nice try though
@Liz
A) I didn't say I was a picky eater. I like going to restaurants and eating food that most American can't stand– for example I love Indian dishes with goat in them, I like spicy German food, Thai food, Peruvian, I like goose eggs better than chicken eggs (much bigger, and gamier taste), I hunt/skin and eat rabbit and squirrel, I bake my own pies, etc etc. I wasn't referring to myself regarding your post, I meant any guy in general. Just because a guy might be a picky eater, while at a restaurant with YOU, doesn't mean he is provincial. Get it?
"If you ask me – a grown man who is an extremely picky eater is simply immature."
Ironically, this statement alone shows how immature, shallow (check spelling) and uncultured you are. Maybe they are being "picky" because they have medical issues you don't yet know about. Maybe they are so put-off my your shallowness are are trying to be annoying to you so you'll go away. In either case STFU, go the f*** up. Expand something besides your ponderous arse.
"If you ask me – a grown man who is an extremely picky eater is simply immature."
Ironically, this statement alone shows how immature, shallow (check spelling) and uncultured you are. Maybe they are being picky because they have medical issues you don't yet know about. Maybe they are so put-off by your shallow personality, they are trying to be annoying to you so you'll go away. In either case STFU and go out into the world and expand something besides your ponderous behind.
sigh ... was supposed to be @Liz
I see we have another picky eater on our hands;)! I have been around the world, seen and tried so many different things. While it is a blanket statement and there are acceptations to every rule, yes, I believe someone who is voluntarily extremely picky (no allergies, they’ve never event tried the food they’re rejecting, no moral concerns with food – I have no problem with someone who is a vegetarian because they don't believe in eating meat) and unwilling to try anything new is immature. Again, if you read my post, you would know that's – by far – not the most important factor a man brings to the table, but is something to consider. You guys are making me so grateful to be married! Glad I don't have to go on any more bad dates!!!
I freely admit to being both picky and immature, but I'm not certain the two are related.
Geez, why do you have to bring up stupid crap like rare or unlikely scenarios? You know darn good and well the kind of pickiness she is referring to. And she's RIGHT. Picky eaters are immature!!!
I can see what Liz is saying. Meals mean different things to different people. For some, a meal is just sustenance. For some, it's a time to share with family. For others, it's a time to explore new things and have fun. While there is nothing wrong with someone who is a picky eater, it does say something about the way they approach eating and meals. If a picker eater is on a date with a foodie who loves different kinds of foods and wants to share that experience with their partner, it would be a red flag. And why shouldn't it be? Isn't the point of dating to find someone you are compatible with? Personally, I love trying all sorts of foods and I love to cook. It's a big part of my life. I could not be in a relationship with someone who didn't share the same passion. I certainly don't judge anyone who isn't into it – I just won't date them because we aren't compatible.
That's all fine and dandy, but what about those who has severe dietary restrictions, but may feel it's a bit too personal to share on a first date? I'm on a medication that pretty much rules out most green vegetables, beans, peanuts, tea, and alcohol. Those who don't have a gall bladder can also have a sensitivity to fried foods.
So if someone is picky, it could simply be due to medical reasons that they don't want to disclose to a near stranger.
That's definitely not easy.
I have a dear friend with celiac. It's really hard on her sometimes. She usually just says she has a gluten allergy and people leave it alone. I had another friend with ulcerative colitis and it was hard for him because it's kind of an icky topic. He would just ask to pick the first restaurant and chose things he knew he could eat. If he couldn't eat something, he'd just say he's allergic.
When I'm on a first date, I tell the woman what she should order. If she disagrees then it's not off to a good start, and I've gotten up and walked off before. We also split the check at the end because I'm not gonna pay for some money grubbing person to mooch for free.
So you tell her what she should order, and then make her pay for her meal? I agree with splitting the check, but telling someone that you don't know what to order is absurd.
I bet somebody is is still single!!!
I dated a woman who told me what to order when we first started dating, and i had no problem with it. In fact it was kind of hot, that she would be that assertive. Better than being meek and traditional. But to each their own.
Well, how very chauvinistic of you. Pretty sad to see such archaic behavior. No doubt you're still single.
@amber – Well I think she should listen to me and respect my wishes. I tend to be pretty smart, and when people question me, I like to prove them wrong. I might be condescending but nobody can get to me.
OK, I guess you are starved for attention today.
I'm surprised you come out from under your bridge to eat at all, being a troll and all.
tbh, I have burned many bridges and people always tell me I'm extremely selfish. I've also gotten narcissistic and personality disorder before. I dunno, I just don't see it. I don't think I should have to help others if they don't agree with me.
That's because people with mental problems can't see they have mental problems. a&&
Let me guess....you are still single....
You know what...lets all meet in manhatten for pizza and beer this weekend!!!
Tempting. VERY tempting. NYC weather, I hear, is glorious these days.
Let's see, husband-elect and I had ecstasy washed down with electrolyte water. Can't recommend the technique more for a first date. We enjoyed an incredible first date wandering our city and talking to on another with all barriers and awkwardness removed. Granted at the time, it wasn't a "date" so much as hanging out with another member of a message board we were both on, but since that day is our anniversary now, I guess it's become a date over time.
If he/she has a problem with what you order f* em, you don't want to be with a superficail douche/biatch anyways. If you love meat it will be difficult to date a vegatarian though....that does matter.
Judging by the poll after the article 80-90% of all readers think that the food, the order is not important at all, or that it's nok make or break. In other words, the vast majority think food isn't really important on a date.
A date is about company, not the food or the place. You can just as good a date grabbing a hotdog at a stand. I'd say skip the food for the first date – avoid it all together. Go for a drink, a coffee, or something that is more about the company and less about the food.
yes dinner...unlike $exs is way to much of a commitment on the first date.
If a guy is too picky, or not adventurous enough about food, it isn't going to work out. We all have our likes and dislikes, but I like lots of different and interesting food, and other experiences, and if he is too cautious, it's a sign that we aren't going to make it.
One guy I dated briefly even refused some of the simple homemade things I offered from my kitchen – things like soup or fruit dishes. I am a very good cook, and it was just weird. Turns out he had some other strange phobias (I found out from another woman who dated him) and some unseemly ideas about the world. His pickiness about food was just one manifestation.
now im a bit picky...about some "exotic" dishes, taste buds are not a good indicator of adventursome...im very adventursome, but enjoy simple food more. but its worth asking the question i agree if it get weird at the dinner table.
Agreed! I like simple food. But I've held "adventurous", dangerous jobs, I ride a motorcycle, I like to hunt, I have traveled and served all over the world. I'm about as adventuresome as they come. So a woman telling me that I'm not "adventuresome" enough because I don't want to eat what she considers exotic is laughable.
To be honest with you, I wouldn't eat something prepared by a stranger either, unless they worked at a restaurant. Unless you guys already knew each other very well. Think about it, if you didn't know a guy, it is doubtful that you would agree to eat something he made. That's the whole idea behind eating food prepared by a safe 3rd party.
And it sounds like you were more wanting to impose your tastes on him, varied or not, than learning about what kind of guy he was.
Couldn't agree with you more. People do all manner of things in their kitchens so there is no telling how the food was prepared coming from someone you just met.
Elle, your statements are a sign that you're a cheater and that you aren't happy with one man for too long.
Elle, just ignore these boys commenting on your post. That's really all they are are just little boys. I would prefer a first date being in a restaraunt, but if a woman wanted to cook at her house, then I would accept. To refuse to eat a lady's food is nasty, tacky and unmanly. God, the world is full of little weenie boys.
How would you like it if a woman refused to let you be alone with her for several months in order to get to know you better for fear that you might rape her? Wouldn't you be just a bit offended at such an insinuation. It's the same damn thing when you suggest such a thing about suggesting a woman might put poison or boogers into your food.
Anon, it has nothing to do with "boogers" etc. Has to do more with personal habits, cleanliness, safe cooking practices, etc. I'm sure you know how easy it is to cross-contaminate if you're not careful with raw meat etc. Also, some people have really funky kitchens that they haven't cleaned in ages. As someone who has experienced food poisoning, I don't really want to risk it for a stranger.
And, yes, I think women SHOULD be very cautious about who they are alone with. And men too.
Wow, nice to hear from a grown man for once.
@kay
Who, me? Thanks.
I have to admit that I would certainly judge a dining companion (any dining companion, not just a date) by the way they order, treat the staff, and most importantly, how they eat. The one thing I would not judge them on is what they order. It takes a lot to put me off, and maybe they could introduce me to something I've never tried before.
However, a deal breaker for me would be very loud or sloppy eating, treating the wait staff rudely, or making comments to the effect that I shouldn't eat something because they don't like it. If it's my first time eating with a person, I feel that's rather rude, and I wouldn't do it to them.
I agree whole heartedly...ones taste bud rarely define one personality...the other things you mention certainly do.
I say that what you order is irrelevant. You can be eating the best meal ever... but if one of you is not into the other, that it in itself will cause the dinner to become tasteless let alone the experience.
I respectfully dissagree...I could enjoy a medum rare bone in ribye with anyone...maybe even osama bin laden...if he was in chains of course.
Don't you think the putrid smell of his rotting flesh would disrupt your appetite...? He IS dead, you know...
I like to eat pu$$!y on the first date
Of course, in truth, you've never been on a first date.
And that is the truth.
oh now thats not true...however i don't always get what i want.
Hey, that sounds really good to think about. But, what if it is a Nasty Pu$$y?
that could be an issue...but usually the clothes don't need to come off to asses hygene...its a chance i am usually willing to take...especially if I have already asked them out on a date.
Rob, "asses" 'R U.
Your not worried about STD's or STI's.... I would run from a nasty like that...
I seldom go to dinner on a 1st date. Too much time, and no way to 'get out' if you need too. I prefer coffee house, movie, or activities that have another focus beside the other person.. I could care less what someone orders to eat though. But bad table manners such as eating with mouth open, smacking lips, talking with a big ole wad of food in the mouth.....can be deal breakers. I've seen both men and women who eat like they've been raised by wild wolves....bears.....coyotes, etc. Oh, and too many requests for personal information during dinner conversation gets on my nerves too.
Ohhhhh bad table manners are the WORST. Chewing with mouth open is the #1 offense.
I have read the article and all of the comments. I have a question. What if your date orders a chicken fried steak with cream gravy?
for me it means true love.
You order chicken fried bacon and stab her hand with a fork when she grabs for it.
I like to sniff Panties!
they smell better after a good meal
Alright, Dave, I will allow you to sniff my Panties. However, usually, I don't wear any Panties.
I like to smell goodies not the wrapper!
I am not so judgmental that I would nix someone based on what they want to eat. I want any gal that I date to have a pleasant evening and meal. I would suggest that if your date orders the most expensive thing on the menu and expensive drinks as well, that a guy might consider the financial ramifications of marrying someone who has such expensive tastes.
LOL. Guess that's why I've had mostly pizza first dates.
don't sell yourself short...good thin crust...new york style out of a coal oven....doesen't get any better
Great essay! As a 15 year veteran of the food-service industry (server, bartender, restaurant manager) I always assess how people I'm with (especialy dates before I got married) treated staff; and you can't come out of my family tradition or a career in fine dining without a deep love for food (you can't pick your family, but you do pick your career, the one in this case leading to the other). What you eat, how you eat, do you share, are you willing to experiement, all these go into the mix of informing and revealing who you are, right in plain sight, for anyone you are with. Best window to person's soul, perhaps even better than their eyes...
Thanks for a fun and dead-on read today.
While I agree that it's a very nice thing if a person is willing to experiment gastronomically, I don't think it has anything to do with what kind of husband/father/wife/mother a person would be. I've dated women who were very strict vegans, and wouldn't touch anything else, who were wonderful people. And I've dated women who were serious connoisseurs of food, who were absolutely abysmal people. And vice versa.
ya not sure i'd want to fight the "what our kids can eat" battle with a vegan...vegans are out...one step below a cult...can you say the "insisor" ya humans have them....for eating meat.
For me it isn't vegan or meateater, it is about the joy and happiness they have when we get together to eat. I'd also say I have been turned off when we go out and he is extremely picky (no veggies, not salad, only meat or only a salad, dry). I can't imagine spending a lifetime with someone who doesn't share at least some of my joy of food.
Agreed. My husband is the pickiest eater I've ever met. I did not fall in love with him nor have I stayed in love with him for 17 years because of his food choices. ~_~
I seriously hope no one considers me based on my food choices either haha!
"...you can't pick your family, but you do pick your career..." but please do not pick ur nose in your career in fine dining.
I agree.
@justadude It's not saying that picky eaters can't be wonderful people. Food choice isn't necessarily indicative of character. But, if I'm into the whole gastronomic experience and my partner isn't, we aren't going to be able to share in that hobby (which is huge for me) and, therefore, we wouldn't be compatible long term. It's like trying to pair someone who loves the outdoors with someone who spends all day in front of the TV. Neither person is bad, they just aren't compatible.
I told my first date that I would eat at the Y on our first date and she didnt like the idea...til the 2nd date.
No asparagus for you ladies on the first date...we don't want to smell strong urine when you come back from freshening up.
But having cats is ok. We like the smell of cat p33.
No, No, cats are unnecessary. Also, they are stupid and ignorant.
None for you either. Your _ _ _ smells like what you eat, too.
Tips should only be when and as appropriate. There are a lot of incompetent, rude waitstaff. Tipping is paying someone above and beyond what you are legally obligated to. So to deserve a tip, a waiter must go above and beyond what is expected of them. What is expected of a waiter– be courteous, attentive but not too attentive, don't spill anything. To deserve a tip they need to go BEYOND all that.
I disagree. I always plan on leaving a big tip at the start and unless something is done that is really rude then they will get 25% out of me. Plus, if the food sucks it is not the waiter/waitress fault, it is the cooks. Basically, the server has to tell me to fuk off in order to lose their tip. I consider it tithing. I am a christian who does not go to a church and I dont really pay charities anything so this is me giving back. I am helping someone in need and 99.9% of servers are broke and struggling.
Then you should have tithed to me. I was a policeman for years, and never once got tipped for doing my job, and I made about as much as a waiter, with a lot more risk to myself. And I'm not religious. There is something seriously flawed about the idea that only waiters deserve tips. Firefighters, Marines/soldiers/airmen/sailors, garbage collectors, mechanics, nurses, doctors etc work just as hard and would deserve tips much more.
Then you should have tithed to me. I was a policeman for years, and never once got tipped for doing my job, and I made about as much as a waiter, with a lot more risk to myself. And I'm not religious. Firefighters, Marines/soldiers/airmen/sailors, garbage collectors, mechanics, nurses, doctors etc work just as hard and would deserve tips much more.
Then you should have tithed to me. I was a policeman for years, and never once got tipped for doing my job, and I made about as much as a waiter, with a lot more risk to myself.
Deserve? Absolutely. But waitstaff are paid below minimum due to the expectation of a tip by management. The services you speak of are not paid with that expectation.
No, tipping is how the waitstaff is paid in this country. It may be a peculiat system, but it is the system we use. Tipping your waiter is payment for the service, not for performance above and beyond. That's what tipping more than 20% is for. Cheapskate.
Nope, that is incorrect. You are only legally obligated to pay the bill. If you fail to do so, you can be charged with "Defrauding an Innkeeper", at least in my state. You cannot be charged with anything for not tipping. Therefore, it is not "how we pay" anyone.
Wrong. The customer is NOT obligated to pay the wait staff. That is the job of the owner of the restaurant.Tipping is for acknowledging a job well done. You like getting Xmas bonuses? Did you know your boss is not obligated to give you one? If you get one it is because you did a good job and your bonus amoount is tied to how good a job you did.
Listen and learn my padawan apprentice!
justadude....
While you are not legally obligated to leave a tip, this is how waiters get paid. It's not just for "above and beyond" service. Waiters where I live get paid about $3 per hour, because they depend on tips. The expected tips is customarily between 15%-20%
I usually leave 20%, and expect "good" service for that. However, I will adjust up or down for "less than acceptable" or "excellent" service
You made more that $3 an hour as a cop and got benefits to go along with that, So don't say that you got the same as a waiter.
@Bill
A) No, it's not how waiters get paid. Waiters get paid by their employers. There shouldn't be any "under the table" payments by the customers. What that actually leads to is better service for people who tip better, whereas the poorer people who can't tip as well get lousy service. I've seen it all the time, and it's not fair.
B) I agree with you, I "adjust down" too. When the service is what is to be expected, they get no tip. If they go above and beyond, I "adjust up". I certainly don't pay someone for something they don't deserve.
C) Again, I risked my life and limb to do my job. Waiters don't risk anything. So, police should be paid at least 1,000 times as much as waiters are paid, if you want to go that route. Sorry, but I don't buy the whole argument.
Sure, you are not LEGALLY required to tip, but that doesn't mean you still aren't expected to for decent service. Servers make like $3/hour... the main source of income is tips. For them to give you decent service then get $0 is very cheap on your part. Do you really have to be legally required to do the right thing?!? How about you just do the right thing because its right, and not require a regulation or law to be forced to?
Read above. I was a policeman for a long time, and made very little money doing it. So if a policeman does his job professionally by working an accident you were involved in, or coming to your house when you call 911, do you tip him? Do you tip the ambulance driver when he takes you to the hospital quickly? Do you tip your nurse and doctor for healing you? Sorry, I don't buy the idea that waiters should be tipped just for doing their job.
Waiters typically make less than minimum wage with the expectation by the employer that tips will make up for that. That's why tipping in the US is the norm, and why at certain restaurants (such as those that get a lot of foreign customers) or with large groups, a minimum percentage gratuity is included in the bill. When I was in Italy, waitstaff were rarely as courteous as they are in the US, because they make a liveable wage. We only tipped if, as you said, waitstaff went above and beyond. In the US, however, waitstaff generally must be so courteous, because that's how they earn their money. Quit being cheap and leave a decent tip for decent service, I doubt you made less than minimum wage at your job as a police officer.
A) Nope, I am not going to pay someone simply for doing their job. That is not fair to the millions of people who do their jobs without the possibility of getting tipped. B) I don't know what economy you live in, but I can barely afford to pay the actual bill, much less pay an undeserved tip. I don't have that kind of money to throw around. If I did, I'd pay my doctor extra money, or my plumber, or people who actually make a difference in my life.
oh and I forgot to mention, I actually RISKED my LIFE doing my job. Waiters don't risk anything.
Waiters and waitresses typically make $2.13/hr. Severely less than minimum wage because it is expected that they will be tipped. They are even taxed (in my state) 8% of their food sales for the night because it is assumed that is the minimum that they will make. So yes you should tip them. It is part of how they make an hourly rate. Unlike with cops, firefighters, and anyone else with a job that gets paid a standard rate that you mentioned.
Uh, I got paid by the hour as a policeman, as does everyone else. And I was risking my life doing it. Waiters don't risk their lives. Sorry, I don't buy your argument.
Hey, justadude, how much did you get paid for these services? Are cops and firefighters making at or below minimum wage?
wow that photo is really offensive...
NO fortune cookie for you !!!
how?
Dong
I scrolled back to the picture and looked at it for a couple of minutes and I can't think of a single perspective that would make that an offensive photo. Please come back and explain why.
Funny . . . .The first date I had with my husband was probably a hamburger and fries. I know that becuase as young adults that was probably all we could afford.
Funny, mine too! At a McDonald's in, of all places, Hong Kong! They serve rice there instead of fries. I had to laugh because it's thought of as a good place for a first date meal and my now 20 years wife really seemed to be happy with it.
Years ago, I was on a first date, and the kitchen had my order incorrect. The server later realized the error and apologized profusely, but I told her that it was no big deal, and that I do not blame her for errors made in the kitchen. My date was absolutely amazed at how I handled that, and kept telling me what a gentleman I was for not being harsh with the waitstaff. A HUGE lesson there. Take note of how your date behaves, because sooner or later that comapssion (or lack thereof) will be aimed at you.
I never ever talk bad to the wait staff or the cooks. I have this thing about pissing off people preparing my food. If my order isn't right the first time. I politely let them know about it once. If it is still not right. I ask for a to go box and just take it home and fix it. I've seen too many movies, tv shows, and dirty-nasty people get back at rude customers by doing the most disgusting things to their food. I have to put that food in my body and I don't want any "extras".. As far as tipping goes. I tip what I can afford and what they deserve.
Amen to that! The best way to "punish" bad behavior on the part of the waitstaff etc is don't tip, and never give them your business again. There is nothing more annoying than the attitude of entitlement, that waiters deserve 20% of the bill regardless of their performance.
Its not what you eat – we watch how you talk to the wait staff. If you treat them like dirt or with indifference we next you.
I like to smell goodies inside those panties!
Back when I first started working, I met a girl for lunch on a blind date since we happened to work in the same neighborhood. It was a nice Spanish restaurant.
The waiter handed us the lunch menus. She didn’t see anything she liked among the 20 items on the menu (meat, seafood, pasta, etc.) and asked the waiter for the full menu. She then proceeded to order a double cut filet mignon (the most expensive item on the menu at $40 … for lunch).
After lunch she didn’t even offer to split the bill or pay the tip. Now I’m a gentleman and will always refuse and insist on picking up the full tab, but the woman could at least make the gesture, especially on a first blind date (i.e. as opposed to “I want to take you out for dinner” where there is a clearer expectation of who pays) . Of course, I was gracious and thanked her for the wonderful date.
Needless to say, our first date was our last date.
That happened to me once. I went to the bathroom, slipped out the back door and left the wench with the full tab.
LOL. Good move. I wish I thought of that one.
JASON,.......NICE!!! LOL!!
Dating golddiggers and neanderthals sucks. Being in denial, marrying them, then realizing these character flaws – priceless for the rest of us.
wow, that stuff happens all the time. i hate that type. rude golddiggers.
ROFL! Do they fix things for you by cobbling them together, too?
Had a hilarious roommate who called that "aligator arms", as in all of a sudden her arms shank to the size of that of our delightful American land-lizard and she couldn't reach her purse anymore. Never dated that girl again...
You have the perfect name for your comment. :-)
Ordering wasn't an issue because I cooked. After 43 years, I'm still cooking for the same woman.
What's the big deal about how one treats the wait staff? Since when is that any indication of whether someone would be a good husband and father or wife and mother? Nowadays, most waitstaff are terrible, can't get good service anymore. I wouldn't treat them too terribly because I would want to avoid anything interesting being added to my food by them, but if they deserve correction, so be it. Some of them can be pushy about tips too, when they are not deserved. The other day I went to a Greek place and stood at the counter, simply ordered my Gyro, was handed it, and was in the process of paying. The girl behind the register said very loudly "How much tip do you want to add to that?!" I was like... tip? For what? Handing me a gyro? She acted very indignant and rude about it, I never went back to that place. so it depends on the circumstances. There is nothing sacred about waitstaff.
If you're unnecessarily rude to someone who is trying to help you, then how are you going to treat everyone else? It's sometimes an indicator of how a person will really treat you once they are not trying to impress you anymore. If your date is acting pretentious and demanding of the waiter, chances are that at some point those traits will be expressed towards you. It's not at all fool proof, and everyone can have an off day, but it does show you another side of the person.
I'd rather someone be honest with me about who they are in all manner, than fronting about it only for me to find out down the road – and that includes dining habits.
I think what's more important than WHAT they order, or even HOW they order it, is how they EAT it. I went on a date where he ordered just a regular pasta dish, and he inhaled and slurped the entire thing in about 2 minutes. That's unacceptable for a child, let alone a full grown man.
He probably wasn't interested in you and wanted to finish the date as fast as he could without being obviously rude.
Is that as opposed to a half grown man?
LMAO! One of my favorite expressions to tease someone about is when they start a statement with "growing up as a child ...." Is that as opposed to growing up as a frog? :D
We must have dated the same person (or in the same family!). My 'date' had a pasta dish and proceeded to, instead of bringing the utensils to his mouth, ducked down so his mouth was at bowl level and just shoveled! I have seen him since – it IS the way he eats.
Your first date should be to attend church services on Sunday and pray together.
Sorry, not all of us are 17th century Puritans.
AMEN to that.
Let me guess...you have a lot of cats.
lol. nice!
Are you an evangelical republican ?
At least she's not a radical Muslim.....
Then you should keep an eye on your dates manners when s/he takes communion.
They still make you?
Lynn is right, nothing gets the juices flowing like a reading from the song of songs...
Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with courses of stone;
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.
I hope you were being sarcastic...Really, so you get to know somone by how they fold their hands and kneel? Different strokes for different folks, but excuse those of us who think that a persons values, ethcis, morals and personality strech far beyond the doorway of the place of worship they attend...
I don't think she meant it literally, as in "watch how you fold your hands". That's silly, and you're being disingenuous. I agree that getting a look at someone's morals and ethics is very important. But I think that you'd have a better chance of that at church than by going to eat sushi and then watching "Human Centipede II" together. Don't get me wrong, I'm Atheist myself. I'd rather go to a museum or academic seminar with someone on a date than something stupid like the latest Glenn Close or Matt Damon movie.
Don't feed the trolls!
I kinda agree with Lynn Ann, for the simple reason that you don't want to waste time if it's not going to work. Nothing is worse than going on a date and listening to the guy say that all nonchristians are going to hell, and there you are with a gaping mouth, since your nonchristian yourself........oh, btw the biggest thing that gets me is chewing with your mouth open....ewwwww....I know its complimentary to make noise when you chew in some asian countries, but still....ewwww that's just my pet peeve.
I fully agree with that.
In church I would like to smell those panties!
At this fansy-schmancy restaurant, he asked for specific wait-staff – who knew him by name. He ordered a lobster so huge it looked like it belonged in a natural history musuem. Required that his mojitos be lined up and filled just so. Chidded the waitress for filling the wrong champagne glass and left her a tip about the size of the lobster. All of this to show that he could. He was shocked when I told him we didn't have the right chemistry.
I like them while getting caught in the rain.
I don't mind he's preferences as long as he doesn't order from the "vegetarian" menu.
Your comment is not grammatical, and what do you have against vegetarians??
for someone who advocates against tools, you sure seem to be one.
Are you worried that if he's a vegetarian, he won't eat your meat? Maybe he's just in the mood for a vegetable dish and that's why he's on a date with you.
I would never date a vegetarian cuz they won't eat my meat.
Ha! Because a caring, conscious, ecologically friendly man is not sexy? How interesting...I have to say, I think we would have the opposite taste in men.
You just described a gay man, congrats to you!
I do not mind anything as long as she lets me smell those panties!
Add this to the list of what not to eat/order on a first date: Fried Calamari!!! I was born and raised on Italian food as my mother was of Italian heritage. I dated someone of Irish/Czech heritage who thought fried calamari was absolutely disgusting! Needless to say, it took a long, long time before he took me out to eat again. That was at least 20 years ago! We are still good friends to this day, though. LOL
Sounds like his problem – not calamari's
The only time a woman's food choice matters is either
1) She's clearly ordering a bunch of expensive crap she's never had before just because I'm paying
or
2) She's rude or super high maintenance in the way she orders ("substitute this for this, hold this, give me this on the side, and this on a separate plate, before the rest of the order"). It's good that you know what you like in life, it's bad that almost nothing meets with your approval and you can't just go with the flow a little bit.
Agreed to both. I think the second one really tells you something about a person. They are not simply picky, they are a control freak.
I hate to say that I don't like it when people order fried calamari. It (and some fish) often smells bad enough that I don't enjoy my meal. If I don't enjoy my meal, it will negatively impact the date. I think that the crab/curry comment in the article was fine because they BOTH ate it. That being said I am adventurous so I really do like it when my date is willing to go some place a bit different (Ethopian, Korean BBQ etc.). And yes, my distain for seafood is my problem, but it does impact things.
I've always said that the perfect first date food was Gyros. If your date can take you being covered in yogurt sauce and eating raw onions, well...it's probably meant to be!
I like to go get sushi on a first date – if he's not down for raw fish it's a no go.
Haha, amazing line. I actually go for sushi because its less messy and easy to eat. I tend to lose my appetite when nervous.
You want to go on a date with me, then.
Yournscope is too narrow, so I wouldn't consider you to be a fun or interesting date.
Raw fish is known as sashimi; sushi does not have to contain any fish at all, much less raw fish.
hahaha, nice one Vino Bianco. I will eat your sushi.
The idiot obviously has no clue to Italian language for the various dialects in different regions. Bruschetta in Sicily is pronounced with the "SK". She needs to get out more, book a trip. Say it over in Catania and they will laugh in the kitchen and joke , "hey we got another one, she wants some Brushitta". Dillweed American.
Wow...you are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO smart and hip! Thank you thank you THANK YOU for gracing us scum with your superior intellect!
if you're going to call someone out make sure you get it right
Maybe you should try reading the sentence that you're criticizing a second or third or fourth time, until you comprehend what it actually says. Maybe you'll eventually realize that the author was pointing out the exact same thing that you're pointing out, and that your entire moronic rant is based on your inability to comprehend basic English.
Or even better, just get over the fact that most Americans aren't native speakers of Italian, so they might occasionally mis pronounce a word by applying an English pronunciation to it.
she says SK is the right way, dillweed foreigner
And you apparently have no clue about English. The author WAS saying it should be pronounced "sk". Dillweed Italian.
that's that she said. Your learning comprehension is shiite.
All you got from reading that article was a mispronunciation of a word? I suppose you kill on dates too :]
You obviously need to work on your reading comprehension. The article clearly says exactly what you're saying...
***poot*** <- smell that one dipsh!t
I happen to like Bristol Palin. What's with the hate?
Are you serious? She is an oportunisic media w hore just like her mother. Get a grip, you are never gettin' in those pantyz.
It's easy to say something like that when you are anonymous... very cowardly.
*fail*
like a dummy, I ordered the spaghetti on my 1st date!!!
Still am married though.
I agree that it's how the meal went rather than what was ordered that makes the difference. If someone is a slob about eating, or treats the wait staff badly/rudely, or (if being treated) orders the most expensive thing on the menu and then eats only a bite or two, or constantly complains about the food (unless it is truly bad) or disparaging compares it to "this other place I went to" – that's a person I would really hesitate to have a second date with. The ideal date would be where both people agree on someplace, order moderately, appreciate the food, and treat the staff well (including the person who's paying tipping an appropriate amount). Of course that won't always happen, but we can always hope.
He only ordered the pina coladas because he wanted to show how clever he is.
Nah – she's a dog and he was trying to get rid of her. Mission accomplished. Smart Guy 1. Gullible Gal 0.
Really? A leavable offense? And poor virginia the waitress, oh my!
I'll order anything that makes me *poot* during the ride home. I mean, f-ck him if he can't take a joke.
For the record, it was a tiki bar, so pina coladas were perhaps among the more butch things a person could order.
They must have been out of seabreezes...
If a dude likes coconut and pineapple why should he pretend he doesn't?
Although you sort of have a point, I guess. If a girl is so hung up on shallow ideas like a drink not being "manly" enough, I'd want to know early on rather than waste my time with her.
Touche'. I married a ParrotHead. Knew what I was getting into when we started dating. Heineken, piña coladas and Rumrunners were his faves. Didn't and doesn't make him any less a man for it.
Damn skippy. I love pina coladas. Recently found out, after several years, that my husband also loved them. He was always afraid to order them because they were girly. Not anymore! We go to strip clubs and order girly drinks together- it all balances out!
Did you also find out several years later that he likes getting caught in the rain and he's not into yoga?
I don't put out on the first date.
Sir Biddle doesn't even need a date to put out.
That's why Rosie and her five daughters remain your best friend.
My focus was more often on how they treated the servers & me, a la Dave Barry's quote.
Kat, for finding a fun-loving friend and marrying him, kudos and congratulations.
"It make me like them more"
I am available part-time to edit articles. No, come to think of it, I don't want to work in retirement.
Re-read the sentence- "it MADE me like them more". So much for your editing skills for hire.
Actually, earlier this morning it did read "It make me like them more." Someone kindly corrected it since then.
To William S. & Helio- In that case I rescind my comment.
In my opinion, it doesn't matter what your date orders, it's how they eat it and their table manners. He/she can order the fanciest meal, but if he/she slobbers all over the place and talks while he/she has their mouth full, while juice is running on the side of his/her mouth, then that will be enough for me to think there will not be a second date! Yikes!
Did that really happen to you? The visual is making me laugh!
Hi Jerv! Yes, unfortunately that happened to me on a first date. Not only did he slobber etc at the table, after the dinner we went to the movies and he still had his toothpick in his mouth making sounds as if he had something stuck in his teeth. OMG! I was so glad when the date was over. It's sounds petty but it really made a huge impact on our date.
Does this mean I can divorce my mother?
Probably not. I think you are stuck with her.
You live in Appalachia, right?
Oh I don't know, the thought of a woman with her mouth full and juice running down her mouth is kinda hot....