 5@5 is a daily, food-related list from chefs, writers, political pundits, musicians, actors, and all manner of opinionated people from around the globe. Whether it's no one at the host stand to greet you, overly perky waiters wearing vests with 'flair,' or a mixologist sneering from behind the bar at your libation of choice, there are serious red flags when you walk into a restaurant that the meal ahead is going to be nothing but bad news bears. Sure, there are a few exceptions where the food speaks louder than the curmudgeonly waitstaff - but don't say Sean Elder, editor in chief of the digital food magazine Real Eats, didn't warn you. Five Things You Never Want to Hear in a Restaurant: Sean Elder 2. “We have two orders of the [blank] left; if you’re thinking of that I’ll put the order in now.” 3. “We’ll bring the dishes out of the kitchen as they’re ready.” 4. “We can’t turn the air conditioning/heat/music down because the chef likes it like that.” 5. “What are we talking about here?” Be sure to come back tomorrow for Sean's list of signs you're in the right restaurant. 'Til then, what sayings should we add to the menu of red flags? Let us know in the comments below. Is there someone you'd like to see in the hot seat? Let us know in the comments below and if we agree, we'll do our best to chase 'em down. |
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I ain't paying $14 to see how this magic trick is performed. There was a person that showed up to a number of us students at an frozen goodies shop last week and ask if anybody had a dime. My super cool buddy gave the man a dime and he got out a sharpie marker and said to put her initials on the front and rear of the coin. Then he got out a clear balloon out of his pocket and blew it up. The guy took my friends signed dime and stuck it within the balloon through the walls. You can easliy see the dime and listen to the dime in the balloon. Amazing. How on the earth is one able to make this happen? After the magic trick was done he handed my buddy the balloon and said to let the air out of it and to rip it open to check if it absolutely was her signed dime. It was. I stumbled upon a relevant video of the identical trick online. Will someone please tell me how they accomplish this because I really don't have fourteen dollars to my name.
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They teach this in high school business class.
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good Kharma keeps the wheel turning...
I THINK WILD HORSES ARE MEANT TO RUN FREE ICANT WAIT TILL NEXT SRING BECAUSE THERE WILL BE A NEW CLOULD SERIES BUT LOOKING GLASS IS A MEAN BAND STALLION CLOULD IS THE BEST STUD HORSE I'VE EVER HEARD OF
If I order something to be served "without x,y,z", did it ever occur to you that I may be allergic to "x,y,z" and that is why I ordered my meal without it? I do believe it is the responsibiilty of the server to check the order before it is brought to my table. Yes it may be the chef's fault, but it ultimately is the server's responsibility to check the order.
An incident that happend to my husband and myself when we went out to eat one afternoon assuredly decreased the female waiter's tip. We escorted to a booth and she promptly leaned her behind into my side of the booth and proceeded to flirt with my husband while she was taking the order. I ordered spicy food but the only drink she refilled was my husband's. By the time we finished our meal, I was so angry. She assumed that my husband would be paying the bill – but she sure got a big surprise when I was the one paying it. A survey option printed out on the bottom of my ticket which she kept at the register. I requested the survey back after I paid my bill. I've not seen her at the restaurant on a couple of other occasions where other people in our party requested to go to that restaurant. It makes me wonder if other people complained and she was let go.
I tip very well, most of the time upwards of 25% for great service. I also believe in treating people as you would want to be treated. I realize if the steak is overcooked it is not the server's fault and take up my complaint up with the manger. But the service we received that day, was totally incompetent and unbelievable. The restaurant wasn't busy and she only had 2 tables she was waiting on. I was getting out of the booth to get my own drink when she finally came to the table and asked if I wanted a refill of my tea – I also had to ask for the check.
We were seated at a booth in another restaurant when they started prepping a table across from us with seating for 25. I asked if they had a group coming in and she told us that it was a little league football team. When they arrived it was so noisy we couldn't even hear each other over the noise. Thankfully the server asked if she could move us to a quieter table. Her thoughtfulness did NOT go unnoticed when we paid our check.
Some of these people who have made such demanding statements shoudn't be eating out. I agree with the servers – it's not your home. I also agree with parents taking their children out to restaurants – however, they need to be teaching the appropriate way to act in a restaurant – not letting them disturb other patrons. I asked to be moved to another table when I encountered such loud noise coming from the table behind us – there were only 5 tables with guests seated at the time. Why she seated me behind the noisy table – I've yet to figure out. My husband had been working out of town and I wanted to visit with him as he was on his way back out of town and I told her this before she seated me. I asked if it would be too much trouble to move to another table – and she rolled her eyes. The table she chose was dirty-sticky. I asked for it to be wiped but she missed the sticky spot. When I asked to wipe it myself, again she rolled her eyes. Necessary? I think not. I didn't make an issue of it until she rolled her eyes at me the 2nd time. Again Unbelievable.
If it is someplace I go often (at my income level that is usually a place like Denny's or Red lobster) I try to tip well most of the time. If it someplace I usually have the same server the server will in future visits usually go above and beyond for me in service because they know I will take care of them. At one place I had lunch a lot ( a VIllage In) the server said to me once "You take good care of me!" SHe always had my usual tea at my table as I was shown in by the hostess, and made sure it was always refilled when it was empty. I try always to tip between 15 to 20% unless the service is extremely poor.
Yes I have asked servers for recomendations and I have on occassion tried and eaten what they recommended. If I ask then don't try what they suggested I feel like I am disrespecting their opinion. If I know there is something on the menu I do not want, I pick my own choice and don't ask for a recomendation.
So you want the temp turned up... what about the other 90 guest that don't?? I guarantee that 90% of your food contains spit you jerk.
Shut up already and bring me my food and be greatful that I came to your establishment.
This article is dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I only found it because I was reading another blog that was laughing at how dumb it is.
About the whole pictures segment. What do you expect when you're in a public place? By your poignantly stingy article, it would seem you require no less than the sun and moon.
People are going to see what you're doing, especially the waitstaff, because you're in PUBLIC. I scoff at your irritation with that waitress, who was only trying to show a little interest in her customer. You're rather self absorbed if you think she was really that interested in your pictures, because she wasn't. She was infanticizing you; appealing to the diner's need for instant gratification and attention, no less, from disinterested waitstaff.
You simply can't expect absurd amounts of privacy like that. And as far as "expecting accomodations"- sure, within reason. But remember that you're not the only person eating in the restaurant; as you seem to believe. You're outlandish and petty little demands for dining make a mockery of you, sir. You've obviously never worked in a restaurant, Mr. Elder.
Dont think you can be the editor of a food magazine and have no restaraunt experience.. Just saying..
Well... a "digital" food magazine, also that doesn't mean he was never on the service staff even if he has worked in a restaraunt
I fully agree with the author. Eating out is usually both a joke and a major waste of money. And don't blame your waiter. They are designed that way. It's a symptom of a broken society with no sense of community. The general economic imbalance of the world makes restaurants suffer. Dim Sum makes sense. Indian chat houses make sense. Italian food? Stay at home at eat for hours with your friends and family.
Wow! Bitter much?? Sounds like you got a serious case of sour grapes.
Then, don't go out! If you can't afford to tip, don't go out.
I prefer american lamb to new zealand lamb. I always ask before ordering. A fancy restaurant that charges 30 bucks for NZ lamb will not get my business. I'll leave a mexican restaurant that has no avocado on its menu. I question their authenticity.
Both the article and the overwhelming majority of the comments are a a perfect example of what a dreadful place to live America has become in the 21st century. You're mostly whiny, pretentious, self-entitled douches.
What you really don't want to hear: "Five!... Four!...Three!...Two!...Wow, that was a close one!"
#2 “We have two orders of the [blank] left; if you’re thinking of that I’ll put the order in now.”
Simple business, we don't prepare 100 [blank] when we have 100 reservations, because it's rather unlikely 100 people will all order [blank]. If we did prepare for that eventuality, we wouldn't be in business for long. Never mind the fact that many people don't make reservations, so we should just guess how many of them will show up each evening?
The #1 thing you REALLY never want to hear from your server is that EVERYTHING is good, it's a flat out lie. A server who tries to steer you away from a certain dish is usually doing so because it's been sent back to the kitchen on several occasions.
The "we only have two orders left" routine is also used to push an item. There may be more than enough of that dish left but by creating a false sense of scarcity people are more likely to order it.
*author. im done.....
this has been entertaining
i think we should go back to what tips really stand for To. Insure. Proper. Service – TIPS. put out some cash at the beginning then add/ or take away depending on service. As some one who has worked in the industry for a long time and rocked it, people, we all have bad days. i actually found myself turning into the bitter bartender we all hate, so i quit.
EARSCHPLITTENLOUDCOMPLAINER- YOUVE INVESTED A LOT OF TIME AND BITTER ENERGY ON THIS FORUM, YOUR EITHER THE OTHER TRYING TO SECRETLY DEFEND YOURSELF, OR YOU HAVE NO LIFE.
dont bother replying cause its really not that important
that would be a lovely idea if the laws then also required that servers get at least minimum wage. They do not...restaurants are allows to pay less (in Massachusetts, $2.63 an hour). Even with pooling, if you don't tip what amounts to about $5 per hour you occupy the table, you are responsible for endemic bad service (people who want to provide good service will simply not enter the service industry, going to other places where their talents can be used).
Actually the law does require that a restaurant make up the difference if a server doesn't receive enough tips to meet minimum wage when it is averaged out over the hours. I really wish more people knew this. Therefore, there is no reason to tip poor servers well at all. It isn't fair to the good ones. I waited tables for years. Good servers make descent money considering the lack of skill or education required for the job.
Every time an article comes out and the write has the audacity to criticize servers, people come out of the woodwork with their torches and pitchforks. Relax, people. Your not brain surgeons. You have a job because I don't feel like getting my own plate...
1. It actually *does* matter what you like. It is clear that Elder hasn't waited on anyone in years -if ever- but the fact of the matter is that a real waiter will gather details about your preferences in order to make a recommendation. The reason for this is that people constantly ask for what they should order, and then either dismiss the suggestions out of hand or change ingredients and/or preparation on the recommendation, which in effect makes it a different dish. So when someone asks me what I'd recommend, the answer is truthfully that it would be a different thing to each person (and never anything that the kitchen doesn't do well).
2. "We can't turn the volume/AC down..." The reason we say this is because everyone who walks in thinks that they can treat the place like it's their home, and that they should have a say in the settings on the AC and stereo. The fact is, for every person who wants it louder, someone else wants it softer. Same for temperature control. So the actuality of the situation is that management has determined the temperature/volume that will make the most people happy, and that's what we're sticking with. And no, honestly, I just don't care what you think. I know you're a precious snowflake and that your temperature preferences are unimpeachable, but that's only in your own home. When you're out at a restaurant, behave like a grownup.
3. You're confusing the "overly familiar waiterl" with the "waiter who follows protocol". It is true that overfamiliarity from waitstaff is entirely inappropriate. But your "fourth wall" line is pretty haughty, dontchathink? The fact of the matter is that the majority of patrons want to engage their servers for any variety of reasons. And we don't have any idea which ones it is until we approach them. From our standpoint, it is far less risky to start friendly and then read the customer's cues to back off than to appear aloof and risk being called unfriendly. No one has ever been fired for being too friendly in a restaurant. But it's easy to get a bad Yelp review and lose your job for being perceived as rude. So, sorry that someone did you the disservice of being too friendly to you- they were probably just trying to save their job from the whims of snooty magazine editor.
One final note- the reason we ask if you're still working on it, is because every single table is different. It would be incredibly easy if everyone cleaned their plate, or if everyone pushed it away when they were done, or a combination of the two. But most of the time, people eat as much as they want and then sit there and wait for us to figure it out, despite giving no clue that they're finished. The result is that we have to ask that question. And to all you slow eaters out there- pay attention to the people you're dining with. Most of the time they're tired of waiting an extra 20 minutes for you to finish your meal. It doesn't offend me one bit when people want more time to work on their meals, but please don't expect me to read your mind.
Folks, there's no excuse for bad service. I give good service, and I expect good service. But I also encourage you to understand that your server can't read your mind. We want you to be happy, because we want you to tip us well and we want you to return. Once we learn your preferences, we WILL read your mind. Til then, try having a little patience.
As a server for over twenty years, I have to say thank you. How about an article on the five things you never say to your server.
No, this is a long-overdue article, by someone who actually understands how a decent dining experience should be. If your excuse for a restaurant can't get these basic things right, that's ok because there are plenty of other restaurants that can, and we'll just take our business there instead.
If I go to a restaurant where a waiter asks me if I'm "working" on anything, the tip goes down fast (starting from a nice, solid 20%). I'm not a cow chewing my cud–I'm not eating at a restaurant to "work." Anyway, use your eyes. cutlery laid down, staying down, staying in the same place, no food being consumed for 5 minutes or so by EITHER PARTY? Fair game to say "may I take your plates," but I'd rather hear, "may I get you anything else?" or "how are you doing?" instead. But don't grab my plate while other people are eating, or vice versa. That's incredibly rude waitering in europe and a fair bit of Asia. Gratuitously ffending the people I'm with, even if they're not Americans, also doesn't get you the full tip.
As for needing to know what I like to suggest some options, that's ludicrous. I'm not expecting you to pick the one item that is perfect for me. (What a control freak idea–and not at all something I'd tip extra for.) Just tell me what the kitchen does unusually well–maybe three items, plus the "best meat item" and the "best veg item" if you have not already included those–and I'll figure out what sounds tempting, that day. Why should I have to list everything that I like, and eat, for you to clue me in? When I'm the diner and you're the waiter, I'm the client, you're the employee. YOU do the work, not me. If we encounter each other somewhere else, and you're the client, and I'm the employee, I'd do no less for you.
I would hope someone with your attitude would never grace my restaurant or my life...go back to your ivory tower.
Joy, don't go out to eat anymore. We don't want your business anyways.
by placing your cutlery side by side in the center of your plate at 12 o'clock, you are signaling that your are through with the meal or course. SImple!
Not 12 o'clock – 4 o'clock
no 330 pm
Any noise, whatsoever, from children. Children – young ones – should be fed at home.....and NOT in front of me, ever, unless the establishment is one where children are expected – McD, Denny's, etc.
If you bring your children and they disturb my meal, I will get up, walk over to your table, and ask you to leave, and continue to harass you until you do.
OF seven events, seven have left.
children should stay seated; not be heard; not be smelled; not be sensed in ANY other medium than the visual. Period.
LOL! Seems like someone forgot what the word public means. 7 of 7 have left, he says. You've just been running into timid people, I'm afraid. Come ask me and my family to leave a restaurant and you'll get told to f*#k yourself. Come up to us again and you'll get choked out.
I couldn't agree more. This nutcase is so put off by annoying children then goes on to say he will harass you to no end. I'm sure that won't disrupt the other diners at all. To Russell, if you choose to do this to me pray I'm not using a steak knife.
LOVE your response. Mmmm!!!
I agree with Russel. How dare you come out with your loud children and disturb everyone else that doesn't have kids or that was smart enough to pay a baby sitter to come out nad enjoy a night. I hate loud kids, and often times I do point out that those individuals are selfish for coming out with their loud babies, especially in movie theaters.
That same stupid logic could be used on anything loud. Do you ask people to leave if their girlfriend has an annoyingly loud cackle and laughs at everything? Do you ask people to leave if they have an obnoxious ringtone on their phone that rings over and over again? Do you ask people to leave when they talk too loud at the library? These are the things that happen in public. If you want a quiet dinner, make it at home.
@ Lance: You're are right. I mean, there I am, trying to watch "Cars 2" and all these insensitive a-holes bring their kids! When are they gonna learn that just because it's public doesn't mean it's public for everyone! Stupid poor people who can't afford babysitters...
Loud – if I can't hold a conversation with the people at my table it is too loud.
Children – I believe we can coexist, but wouldn't it be nice if the hostess/host noticed that this is a couple and this is a family, and didn't seat us side by side? I know in busy restaurants that would be difficult – but it would be worth an extra wait for me to have a quite meal with my mate.
Too friendly servers – some have actually sat with us at our table and chatted! Please keep replenishables going, but don't stop by every third bite to ask us how things are. Once is enough. I've eaten in places where the server stopped by 2-3 times just to ask how we were doing, the manager came by to chat and a chef was also circulating the room. I know – it is friendly service, it may flatter some people, but in our case, we go out to spend time with each other, so let us enjoy it?
Of course, Russell. When our Lord, Russell Jeffords, enters the room, of course our children will stop speaking. In fact, all cell phones will immediately shut down and table conversation will be lowered to a subtle whisper! One quick question: How far is your head up your arse?
A little harsh there Russell, you harass another table in my restaurant, you'll be the one leaving. The only thing I ask of parents is to keep their children in their seats. This is a safety issue and a server carrying a large tray of food has a blind spot beneath the tray, where children love to play.
I agree with Russell about the loud, rude, and rambunctious children (ditto for similar adults). They do not belong in the kind of restaurants where people expect to be able to enjoy a meal without hearing kids scream-talking, entertaining adults who are not paying attention to them by banging on the table, sword fighting with the cutlery, etc. I do not agree with Russell's approach, which is also rude. There must be a better way to deal with these clueless parents. I told a manager of an otherwise pleasant place that I had avoided it for months after several bad experiences enduring kids ramming my table, toy race cars landing on my table, and watching yupsters beam at their kid while he played a kazoo. Whatever happened to "inside voices?"
THIS, I can somewhat agree with. Inattentive parenting is one thing, but to say that you should hear no noise from any patron (child or otherwise) in a restaurant is just stupid. If you want absolute silence with your dinner, public dinning is probably not the place for you. Some people seem to think that just because they decided to grace a certain restaurant with their presence that the atmosphere should be exactly to their liking, and anything else is completely unacceptable. This is the exact thinking of a pompous, spoiled twit, and should that pompous, spoiled twit ever interrupt my dinner because they aren't happy with the noise level of my child, they can expect to be quickly responded to in an aggressive nature.
what do you do when someone pulls out a gun?like i would
We were in a famous restaurant in Mallorca, Spain. It was famous because every hotel and rental car said to go there. We go. It has seating for 200 or more people, but it was mostly empty. We waited for 20 mins, before I walked into the kitchen to get a waitress and menus. She DROPPED them on the table, and stood glaring at us with her notepad ready to order. I told her we neededed a few minutes. I struck up a conversation with an other American who said this was undercooked, that was overcooked, etc. When the waitress came back, I asked her if there was another restaurant nearby. She even gave us directions! We left as soon as the kitcchen door closed and had one of the best meals I've had in years!! Las Guz(sic) was terrific, hasepfeffer, and a pork tenderloin to die for!
It might be rude to ask "Are you still working on that?" but I am also getting tired of my plate being whisked out from under me when I wasn't finished with my food. What are my options? Run after the waiter and tackle him before he reaches the kitchen? Yell "HEY! I WASN'T DONE WITH THAT!!" Pay for food I was not allowed to eat? Last night I simply demanded my money back, which is what I will do from now on.
Next time, when they start to whisk your plate off to oblivion, stab them in the hand with your fork – then ask for a new one.
The sure sign of a poorly trained imbecile who is serving you is if the ask, "Are you still working on that?" It completely degrades the client as well as the meal being served. Who decided this was protocal for asking if you are finished with your meal?
Is it the wording of it or just the fact that they are asking at all that offends you so much? Just curious.
How would someone who is not an imbecile ensure that the dinner was finished before taking the plate?
How about "May I take your plate?"
simple. wait until cutlery is down on all of the diners plates. watch for a few seconds, then ask the diner with the most food left, "may i take your plate?" easy peasy.
I agree that "Are you still working on that" is a horrible phrase. I am not working on it, I was never "working" on it. It's not work, it's my meal. I came for a change of pace, to have someone serve me for a change and I am enjoying my meal thank you very much. Of course there are going to be circumstances where it is not clear if the guest has finished their plate. More appropriate question might be "Sir, may I remove you plate or are you still enjoying your entree?".
There was one time I was in a restaurant and ordered a meal that was pretty much an asian style wrap – lettuce leaves that you can put the other ingredients like shrimp into and dip into peanut sauce. My husband had ordered a steak. The waitperson came back with our meals, and they gave him the steak, and as they were placing my plate before me, they said "and, of course, the asian wrap is for you!"
Listen, just because I am a skinny white chick and I happened to order what was pretty much a salad doesn't give you the right to assume anything about me. While it might not seem offensive to a lot of people, it really put me off the rest of the night.
The server wasn't assuming the wrap was for you because you're a woman, they already knew where it went on the table because we use seat numbers. We announce the food as a way of ensuring it IS the item you ordered, and often we assist in running food to other servers tables and want to be sure you haven't moved from one seat to another, it does occur occasionally. Why take offense to something we do for your benefit?
I like your response. It sounds like Origa has some problem/issue with food to be that sensitive to the comment (that was misinterpreted anyway).
you must be very ashamed of your body
If there were only two of you at the table, and your husband had already been served his entree, who the heck else WOULD the wrap have been for?! Sheesh.
I always tip 20% and I tip extra if they know my name, are friendly etc. Next time I come in I always get good service. You give a little, you get a little.
i dont want to know ur name
i put snot rokets in you water!lol!
You don't want the fish because the the Captain just had it and he's sick.
I respect hardworking servers and bartenders...tough job, man. Stupid airhead hostesses, on the other hand...
Get a life author! Feel sorry for the waiters that have to wait on you.
These are the 5 worse things a waitor can say to you!?
Grow and get a life.
1)You're a snob
2)I bet you're a PITA to wait on.
We ate a popular local chinese restaurant and the waitress said to us, "I used to like chinese food before I started working here." Ruh roh.
You ate a whole restaurant? Was it a Man vs. Food challenge? ;)))
at a popular local restaurant.
Went with my husband and 4 years old son to Olive Garden. The kid doesn't eat almost anything, he is happy with only one bread stick. But the server had to say that we cannot share. I had a soup and a salad, and my husband had a separate meal with a separate salad and all. But still, the sharing was the problem for the waiter. He was also mad why there is no tip for him at the end. Hardly ever going back to that restaurant again.
Are you freaking kidding me?! The waiter told you you can't share?! The next words outta my mouth are "I'd like to speak to your manager ... now." Fok the tip – the manager's getting an earful! And I'll get a new server as part of the fix, thankyouverymuch! They'll get, in cash, the tip the first server might have earned.
Most places will charge you for splitting and I understand that. But to tell me I'm not "allowed" to do something that is that common in US restaurants is outrageous.
The only time any restaurant should charge a fee for sharing is when the item is split, in the kitchen and plated with an additional side of vegetables. At no time should there ever be a fee for splitting an ala carte item.
As a server, I admit, we don't LIKE to see people share, it's basically a commission salaried position, but a professional server will not get upset over it. Just one question though, if you're not hungry, why are you in a restaurant?
Was that the olive garden next to pine valley rainbow trailer park.I betyou you wore your black dress
Yes, how did you know that??? Beside, what is your point?
Awesome :)
You win an internets.
Wow....you'll 'hardly ever' go back. That'll somewhat show them that your sort of displeased!
I haven't returned to Olive Garden since 1995. After a 45 minute wait for our meal and empty water glasses our meals finally arrived...except the one for our young son. His patience was at its limit (as was ours). My son's mother went to the kitchen herself (no servers in the area) and they put up some chicken strips in 20 seconds. The manager, rather than being apologetic suggested that their level of service was the norm and rather than comping our meal gave us a coupon for 50% off a desert with the purchase of an entree at a future visit.
you drank the water at an olive garden??
Do you really think the waiter in a large chain restaurant gets to set these rules? you are essentially shooting the messenger. the guy who makes these idiotic policies never even steps foot in the restaurant, never mind has to look someone in the face and try to explain it to them with a straight face.
note to author: stop eating in restaurants that cater to uneducated diner, and you will no longer be talked to like an uneducated person.
#1 Thing You Don't Want to Hear From Behind the Kitchen Door:
"AAAAGGHHHHH! Get it! Kill it! Kill it now! Where'd it go? Find it! Kill it!"
You got my vote!
.
Huh, man of few words. I like you.
Reading these comments reminds me of the 80/20 rule. 20% of people are the type of people I would like to know. 80% are frakkin idiots!
I love the snobby diners. I have not been a waiter forever but it sometimes feels that way. For me it has been 11 years and I have waited on all of you, not all of YOU but each type of crazy diner and the ruder you are the more I love you. The money is good and I am going to keep doing it for a while anyway.
I have worked in chains, outback,applebees,fridays. Dead end pubs with the cops in there every night, and two years of fine dining, so I can see most of you coming a mile away. Please whine and give me a sign early during your dining visit. I will peg you by the time I finish my required menu presentation and request your bev. or choice by then I got you. Maybe I make a quick trip to the back to scratch my b@lls and then grab your drinks by the top of your straws so the first thing you put in your mouth is sweat from a bad bad place.
Or then you get your dinner boxed to go and you get the good ole saliva on your food. Sometimes I get several waiters to help garnish your food....hahahaha. Or if your dumb enough to make a second visit we have glasses that have been rinsed in toilet water, allowed to dry then served to you with a smile.
I work in a fine dining steak house....one of the best. I have training in fine wines,cognacs,armagnacs, spirits and strict training in fine service. Usually I wait on about 1500 tables per year....my total is probably in the area 16000 tables I have served, and I have probably given "extra service" to at least 2000 of you...hahahaha. Most wait staff I know do these same things to you so keep it up.
Keep this in mind the next time your so angry because its too hot/cold and the temp. is controlled 4 states away and I keep telling you how sorry I am that we can't call them and have them change it for you. Or your angry because the latino cook in the back of my fine french local can't read the damn words on the screen. Or your angry because I am required to use the same lines for every table per the management. Because they hire mystery shoppers and I will be fired if I don't spam you at the table. So please keep bringing you mood with you for dinner because I am basically bored and the only joy I get from this job is seeing how many gross things I can do to you.....LOL. You could say I need you.
See you at dinner,
Luv DinnerDemon
I have your next tip...Don`t eat yellow snow you pillow bitting fudge packer!
"pillow biting fudge packer" LMAO!!
or I'm angry because you don't know the difference between "your" and "you're"...
Been a waitress for 20+ years...I see you coming too buddy so what comes aorund, goes around-
I could never work at a corporate restaurant like that. The temperature controlled by somebody hundreds of miles away, Being told to plug certain items or your fired, and so on. I never eat at corporate places, and this is part of the reason why. I bet the staff all have to wear little uniforms, I bet the corporate people come in sometimes and treat everyone like crap or give fake smiles. When I go out to eat, I want to see the owner there, perhaps chatting with guest or helping out in some fashion. I want to see a clean restaurant with some of the owners personal affects decorating the place and not fake effects that come from decorators. I want the staff to wear things like black jeans and a dress shirt, not some stupid uniform with a name tag. The staff should be real people and appear to like their jobs, and not slaves forced to go by the corporate creed. Food should be unique yet comfortable. When I get all these things, I'll tip like its going out of style.
DinnerDemon, what is wrong with you? While, I admit, there are some problem guests we hope to never see again, IT IS NOT THE NORM that we endanger our guests or sully their food. I've often heard it said, in jest or frustration, but after 25 years in this career, I've NEVER seen it actually occur.
Your skin isn't thick enough to handle this job.
During culinary school, I heard some very gross stories. Unfortunately, there are people out there like DinnerDemon. One guy told a story about working in a breakfast diner that only served breakfast burritos. When a customer had the food sent back, the waiter would dump out the fixings and rub the tortilla in his bottom, then rewrap the burrito and serve it. I have many more of these stories. Needless to say, I NEVER complain at a restaurant, no matter what is wrong. I know what goes on behind the kitchen door.
It's "you're", not "your". Go back to school.
and when u go out to eat the same thing happens to your food. ever heard of karma.your mother must have been a dirty ho to raise u like that.
How about this? When we were at a restaurant we noticed that one of the water glasses were dirty. I mentioned it to the waitress and she commented, "Oh, it was probably from my hands. The are always dirty." Yeah, she really said that.
How about this? In June, 6 of us went to Alaska. A waitress asked us if we needed anything before she went to the bathroom. We looked at each other and said...the check!
Because waitresses are supposed to have their bladders and kidneys surgically removed? And you guys don't ever whizz either, right, and when you do, it smells like perfume?
Unless the place had no hot water and soap, you're the ones who were being idiotic. She was trying to save you from a delay, and let you know why there might be a delay.
The thing that drives me the most crazy when out to eat is the server who brings the check without asking if I'd like coffee or dessert. You know... they clear the dinner plates and I think they'll be back with a dessert menu, or an offer of coffee... but, no! I am handed a totalled check instead! Honestly, I NEVER tip a server that does that, and I always tell them WHY I am not tipping them. They can get kind of cranky when it happens... telling me that they can add anything else I want on to the bill. But I think it is a rude and impatient thing to do. I think that my dining experience should be over when I decide it's over- not when the server does. By the way, I am not a "linger over dinner for 3 hours" person... I don't tie up a table all night. But I don't eat out as often as I would like to, and I want to enjoy it until I am ready to leave.
That is because (sometimes) it's the buss boy's job to serve dessert. The waiter's job is done with the main meal.
It is NEVER the buss boys job to serve anything.
The bus boy, or server's assistant serves bread and water, nothing else. Their help in invaluable to me, but I don't expect them to do my job. Dropping the check before offering dessert or coffee is NEVER acceptable.
Jeezuz Krist on a skate board. NannyG, these people can't read your mind. Open that pie hole you have been feeding all night in the restaurant and ask for a freaking desert menu.
Howdy- I hear you.....but I'm saying the busboy clears the table and, the next time I see the server to ASK about dessert,or to be offered dessert, they have ALREADY totalled the check. I don't expect anyone to read my mind, but I expect to be given the option before having the check presented.
Many companies require a server to bring the check at a specific point in the meal. At our bar counter you get a check in front of you as soon as you order a drink and a new check in front of you every time you add something. It is good service to give you an early check. You can add anything to it any time. No one is trying to hurry you. Lighten up and stop sweating the small stuff. Not tipping someone because you didn't like the timing of the check drop is ridiculous.
In this day and age with the internet a servers revenge will not end in the restaurant. All of you who pay with a card are warned. When you use petty excuses as reasons to not tip I have your name, and your card number. I can make you show me I.D. and then I've got your address and birthdate. Pay with cash and don't leave a decent tip around Christmas time and I'll get your license plate number and go from there. If unexplainable bad things are happening in your life it might be because revenge is too easy in this time.
You are a petty moron.
I had a waiter jack with my credit card – cancelled it, didn't cost me anything.
I didn't call management – I knew where he worked and what time they closed.
This "be afraid cause I can get revenge" crap goes both ways dude.
We, as servers, have a high stress job to do, that we've chosen to do and hopefully take some pride in doing well. Threatening a guest, in any manner, is not a good way to keep our favorite guest returning. We all abhor the cheap tippers, the overly finicky, the abusive and rude, but they are not the majority of our clientele. If they are, we need to look for another place to work. Learn the wines, the grammar and the etiquette of a more upscale environment and move up the ladder to fine dining.
Having dined in civilized countries I refuse to consider lingering in conversation at a fine restaurant to be bogarting a table. If I am in a chain, greasy spoon or fast food – sure – eat and get out. But if I am at a white table cloth chef run restaurant it is a night out with people I want to talk with and I won't be rushed. An Italian would be shocked if the wait staff or hosts in a restaurant rushed their guests in any way. Many restaurants in France plan on one seating per evening and close once all tables have been seated. Call me a snob if you like – I am a patient customer that appreciates good service, but if you treat me like I'm in McDonalds I will tip accordingly.
Service staff in those counties are paid livable wages by the restaurant, and therefore do not rely on tips for the bulk of their income. In the US, servers make as little as $2/hr. Your real beef should be with the owners, or the system... not the waiter who is losing potential income as you tell your bored friends about your brand new 2002 BMW 3-series.
Hope this guys wife likes spit soup.
Yeeehah! You got that right!
Heh-heh. He said dooty.
I don't like when servers come over to me while I'm eating, or have paused, and ask, usually pointing at my plate, "you done workin' on that?" Yikes. It hardly makes the dining experience feel relaxing to be told I've just been or still am 'working.' I was taught to place the relevant piece of flatware across the center of the plate when finished with the dish. The server, if properly taught, recognizes this indication and may remove the plate without interrupting.
Not everyone was taught to "place flatware on the plate". I have had people who put actual trash on their plate and I ask them if they would like me to get that out of their way and they said, "No, I'm not done." You would think putting trash on your plate was an international sign of "I'm done" but people are fickle. And I always ask because I have had an old lady slap my hand before. So even if you're clearly done, I will ask you just to be sure.
"I have had an old lady slap my hand before." Really?? Or are you pulling out internet legs?
That would only be worse if they said "Gonna eat that?"
Please walk into my restaurant and ask me to turn down the music!!!!!! Are you kidding me? These are things that create atmosphere in a place. They create character and keep clientele coming back. If you know what you want to eat and what you want to listen to, STAY AT HOME, and do it yourself. Go work in a restaurant before you think you know what you are talking about. Remember, it is not your house, it is a place of business, and unless you own it, you have no right to ask these things.
A place of business I can forego in the future. You are there to PLEASE the customers. You my way or the highway is just unprofessional. We went to a restaurant Sat. night with four couples. The music was way too loud and the a/c was blasting. After having a drink, we all decided to go elsewhere.
Right before you got there several people said " I love the music here and it's nice and cool. Waiter, can you make sure it's just this loud and just this cool every time all of us come here?"
Why should any business turn down their music or ac for you? Why would they accommodate you and risk changing an atmosphere that others expect when they arrive?
I always get nervous when the waiter doesn't write the order down, especially if we're in a large party. Yes, it's impressive that they have great memories, and in some of the better restaurants this goes over very well. But nine times out of ten, something invariably gets mixed up. It's not a sign of weakness to write everything down–to me it's a sign that you want to be sure our meals come out exactly as we requested.
great point Amy!
Good service requires one thing: frequent eye contact with the customer. The customer will tell you when he or she needs something, all with his or her eyes. All the server has to do is glance to the table now and again. There is little more required to get good service during a meal, and the worst things a server can do are ignore a table, or interrupt a table.
"Don't look at the table. Look at the people. Don't ask the people, just do a little mind-reading via eye contact. Don't ignore the people, but don't come to the table." And you wonder why servers ignore your table?
Even better is invisible service. My favorite restaurant was Reiner's in Seattle back 20 years ago. The wait staff anticipated every need and did so with such grace and professionalism that it didn't really dawn on you until you were leaving after a lovely meal. The wine glasses were filled just right as if by magic, dirty plates evaporated, fresh napkins appeared folded and clean when you returned from the rest room.
I didn't see my favorite thing you don't want to hear from your waiter.
Customer: What is this minnow doing in my water glass?
Waiter: Please not so loud, you got the last one.
Haha
You broke me up with that one. I was in Wo Fats in Honolulu about 35 yrs ago, and got a roach in the ice cube in my drink. The oldest restaurant in Hawaii, this was. Without a blink, or hesitation, the cube was replaced, but not the entire drink. I drank it, and did not die. This was greeted with great mirth from my tablemates, all of us on vacation, and having a great time. I wished I had my camera with me. We were a bunch of happy, single guys out for a good time. Fond memories. I just remembered that when I read your comment. Thx. Ed.
ewwwww ur gross
so did the roach poop taste good???they poop right before they die.
What I hate hearing from hosts/hostesses when I walk in with one other person and no one else is even close to us is: "So, it's just you two, then?" No, I'm all alone. This guy standing next to me is imaginary, and you're totally schizophrenic... I hate that. Hard. Or how about when a server says, when you're plate's practically licked clean and to the side of you with your silverware on it, "You all done, then?" No, Einstein, I'm planning on snacking on my napkin next... Lastly, but not leastly, what's up with all the bright overhead lighting in restaurants nowadays? Don't they know women want to be uplighted with table lights to look prettier and for general romantic ambience? Makes me want to cook for my boyfriend at home with candlelight more, that's for sure.
The home cook with candlelight sounds very nice, but please consider the greeter is wondering if others will be joining later and he/she needs to know how many chairs to provide.
Fair enough, I see your point, but people normally wouldn't forget to tell hosts that more were coming or might already be there when they come in, would they?
You've obviously never worked in a place where people come and go constantly. Sometimes two people will walk in the door in close proximity and don't know each other. There, indeed, is not two in that party. Sometimes they each have their parties of two that have not yet arrived. The way the greeter takes care of that is asking a question that all you have to do is say "yes" or "no" to without being an uppity snit.
haha, you're scared of the ugly lights
You wine too much!
Total b it ch. Take some Pamprin and cook a chicken pot pie for your boyfriend.
HaHahaha! sanfrangirl: "The whole world is exactly like me, and if they're not, they're wrong." .... but she'd spell it "there"
What is it with women who ass-u-me the world can read your mind? Get your head out of your azz, out of the romance novels and take a big bite of reality. The #1 cause of break-ups in relationships (and yes, communicating with your server counts as a temporary relationship): poor communication.
What I hate are waitstaff (almost always female) who call me
"Hon" or "Sweetie," which I consider demeaning, while they call my male companion "Sir."
Hon or sweetie are better than the opposite of Sir which is Madam or Ma'am. Eww. I hate those, especially being young. Ever had a server ask for your first name then get called Miss "whatever your name is" throughout your meal? Happened to me in the south once. There's a meal-breaker...
That's actually considered a way to be polite in the south. I grew up in La. We are taught as children, to address people to whom we want to show a measure of respect, to use miss + first name. Please don't be insulted by that.
To address a female patron as "Hon" or "Sweetie" is extremely rude.
Any waitstaff member who does that is obviously not expecting a tip!
Sir! That was my dad's name! Did you go out with my dad? Are you my mom?
I detest having waitstaff refer to diners as guys. For example, "Hi, guys what can I get you to drink?" This seems to be the trend eventhough there are female diners seated at the table.
Why do people always blame the wait staff? I had a horrible experience in a restaurant once because the kitchen overcooked my food and my refire wasn't done until well after my husband's food was aleady eaten. When I emailed the chain to complain all they wanted to know was the server's name so she could be "talked to". I responded that it wasn't her fauilt; it was the fault of the kitchen who didn't know the meaning of "medium rare" and the lazy managers who walked around not making eye contact with their patrons! I also think this writer is way too picky. Don't forget that servers are people too and shouldn't be treated as second class citizens.
What you don't want your waiter to say:
Oh, I never eat here.
People suck. Snotty snots suck. Wanna-be fake people suck.
I bet his wife's food gets spit in a LOT.
So very true! unfortunately.. my husband and I have been eating at home a lot more to save money so we wont be hearing any of these from a waiter anytime soon.. the problem was that I was doing all of the cooking while he sat on his butt.. so I went out and got him this hilarious beginners cookbook.... can't tell you the name of them cause they are a bit unpc.. but if you have a good sense of humor, you can google "whipped and beaten culinary works".. but seriously, if you get offended easily.. you shouldn't go..
Fokking knock it off with the spam already.
As a server, I can see both the customers and the servers point of view. I am probably a little more critical than most when dining out, as I know what the server should be doing. However, what most of you complaining dont realize is we have certain expectation from our companies that we have to follow or lose our jobs, such as removing dishes promptly when a customer finishes, or checking back within 2 minutes to insure you are happy with you dish. As servers we can not control how long it takes the cook to fix your food, as such we should not be blamed for it and shafted for it. We are expected to treat you with kindness and respect. I deserve the same. I hate when I walk up to a table to greet them and the interupt me with a "Water" without even looking at me.
It is my job to serve you in a respectful professional way. I don't wait tables because I am to stupid to do anything else, I do it because the money it great. I am not beneath you on the social ladder because of my job choice. So don't ruin my day by being an a$$##le.
Smart server from Illinois:
I don't wait tables because I am to stupid to do anything else, I do it because the money it great.
I believe the correct way would be:
I don't wait tables because I am TOO stupid to do anything else, I do it because the money IS great.
How ironic...
LOL Sounds like you're the person he/she is referring to in their last sentence.
Absolutely the type of person I was refering to in the last line. For your information, I work full time, go to college full time and I am raising a family, all while making straight A's. So take you grammer correction and shove it where the sun don't shine.
Yepers. Last sentence a hole all the way.
Grammar ;)
Indeed, tom.. being a nanny puts me way above some waiter, haha. Was just pointing out the obvious
sheesh, maybe grammar isn't their strong suit. Probably better at math, specifically percentages.
You are 100% right. I am tired of the American people, and thier attitudes at restaraunts. Just snobs!
"As servers we can not control how long it takes the cook to fix your food,"
You can in that if you put in the order wrong such as medium well, but ordered medium rare, well that would be your server's fault, wouldn't it as to how long the customer is waiting to get their steak cooked longer rather than not as long.
"I hate when I walk up to a table to greet them and the interupt me with a "Water" without even looking at me."
WHY? People aren't there to make friends with you. People are there because they are HUNGRY AND THIRSTY, so the LONGER you take to get their order(especially after waiting like an hour for a table), the LONGER it takes for them to get what they ask for. So be CONSIDERATE to the customers considering you want their money.
I agree that they maybe should look at you, but what if they are looking at the menu? I mean, really, that's what it's there for. I would say at least once look up, but they don't have to look the entire time you are there and you shouldn't expect them to.
With this, you aren't acting like a hungry and thirsty customer, you really aren't, especially what if you waited an hour for a table let's say after not eating much all day and it's 8p.m. at night, how you would feel? Would you want to be worried about your server or your hungry and thirst? Servers don't realize that they aren't being CONSIDERATE to the customer's hunger and thirst with their time by asking how we are doing. Just get our orders. That's what we are there for and the tip is what you are there for.
Having waited tables in a nice restaurant, we were trained and had a system in place for notating the customers and who ordered what, so that when the food arrived at the table, it was placed in front of the appropriate person, even if another waiter or food runner delivers it. I cannot tell you how much I wish this were the case at all restaurants. "Food Auctioning" is a definite waiter faux pas and so awkward for the diners to sit through, especially if it is a larger group.
That system is nice for small groups. For larger groups is a giant pain. Many times large groups will play musical chairs, so to speak, to get around and speak to everyone. People seem to get madder when someone places the wrong food in front of them without ask than to be asked who had what to eat.
Wow, nice to see some perspective on life here. I love going to restaurants whenever I can, and of course you have your good servers and your bad, but a lot of these commentors need to lighten up a bit!
Am I the only person who found this article terribly rude and obnoxious?
A couple of topics have come up that annoy several of the patrons above that can easily be explained. Also, a lot of the things people have addressed are controlled by management, not by the waiters themselves. While there are obvious similarities, each restaurant has a different set of priorities.
- Waiters most often are trained by management to clean off dishes as soon as the patron is done, as the majority of people do not want an empty plate sitting in front of them. Management is also thinking about the appearance and aesthetics of the restaurant as a whole. The basic principle is: empty plates sitting on tables just look messy. This is determined by each patron individually, not by the party as a whole. This is a management call.
- The issue of waiters asking if patrons need change is a simple one. If waiters do not ask, and simply let money lie on the table or in the bill fold, and the patron does need change, the patron could then be sitting there for an unnecessarily extended period of time. Asking if the customer needs change simply ensures the fact that the transaction is complete.
- In regards to tip, the trend is that patrons most often have a pattern for the percentage they tip regardless of the service. Be it 20%, 15%, or even 10%. Unfortunatelty, this does influence some wait staff, as they realize that there is little they can sometimes do in order to increase the amount of money they will make from specific tables.
- In regards to dishes coming out of the kitchen one at a time as opposed to all together, this is once again a management or chef related decision. If the food is hot, a chef wants his food to be eaten as soon as it’s done to make sure it tastes the way it is supposed to. Therefore, dishes that take longer to prepare do not come out at the same time as others. In spite of what the author of the article claims, this is actually the sign of a chef that cares about how his dishes taste and the experience of the patron. This also depends on how busy the restaurant is. If the cold line in the kitchen is busy, sometimes even salads take longer than hot dishes. The solution is simple, if you and your party want to have all of your dishes at the same time, ask the waiter if you can have them all together. The waiter can then indicate this on the ticket to the kitchen.
- It’s important for both waiters and customers to understand that a customer’s meal is both a commercial and a social interaction. Without too much exaggeration, most waiters are nice people that enjoy interacting with people. They actually want and care about the quality of the time that a patron spends at the restaurant, as the amount they are paid is often dependent on that. Unless a customer has worked in a restaurant in the past, it’s often difficult to understand the factors going on in the background that affect the quality of their experience that are beyond a waiter’s control. It is the waiter’s responsibility to manage those factors as best he or she can, and, in many ways, conceal them from the customer. If both parties are courteous to one another, the process usually goes smoothly, and the meal will almost assuredly be more enjoyable.
@Bryan – to your point about dishes coming out of the kitchen at the same time. I was raised that it isn't polite to eat until everyone is served, so I will not just start eating when others at my table do not have their food – who cares what the chef thinks, time it better. My understanding from a chef friend is that a good kitchen will start things that take longer first and try to time things in that manner. Obviously every kitchen is different.
That’s absolutely understandable. I actually agree with you and was raised the same way. It’s as you said, however, not all kitchens are the same, and unfortunately not everyone these days has been taught the same social norms and manners. It's safest when you are a customer that does value having your dishes served all at once to just let your server know. Any kitchen then will be able to accommodate you.
This also is influenced by how busy the restaurant is, of course. Sometimes there are peaks on a weekend night where the whole restaurant is doing everything that they can, but small mistakes are still made. It’s unavoidable unfortunately. The vast majority of restaurants want their patrons to enjoy their meal as much as possible though, and will do what they can to meet their specific needs. Good ones, when mistakes are made, will do things to make up for them, such as providing complementary dessert, drinks, etc.
@Bryan – thanks for the thoughful answer!
Sorry *thoughtful* fingers were faster than the brain!
"the patron could then be sitting there for an unnecessarily extended period of time."
No, if the customer doesn't want their change, they will LEAVE YOU IDIOT!! YOU ARE STUPID!!
The server is NOT to ask if the customer wants their change. If they do want their change, they will wait for it. If they don't, they won't, it's a simple as that. Servers today are getting lazier and lazier with this issue. If you get the change and they leave, you had to anyways to get the tip, so it's not for nothing, that's the amount you got for your tip IDIOTS!!
Our job is all about multi-tasking. While some chain restaurants require servers to carry a "bank" i.e., change for a certain amount of money, most do not. We have no issue with getting your change, but often we will have to break the large bills with the bartender, who is usually busy also. It saves us time to cater to other guests, who may very well be you.
Usually when I take the bill, I inform the table that I will be right back with it, and they will usually indicate whether they need change then. If they tell me nothing, it's usually and indicator that they need change, however, if we are incredibly busy, it may take a while to get as I usually don't have enough cash on me to break your bill for you, causing me to go up to the hostess stand to get it which may take a while depending on what the hostesses are doing (servers at the restaurant I work at do not have access to the cash drawer). A lot of tables that I get don't get up and leave right after they pay the bill, leaving me to essentially read their minds as to whether they need change or not. So, if you do or do not need change, please be courteous and inform me, as I am not a mind reader.
With regards to the issue of "do you need change." The server should assume that you need change. To ask is really a hopeful suggestion that they can keep the change. I believe the correct approach is, "I'll be right back with your change." Always get the change and never assume that the tip is yours until they've left it.
I think you guys really need to interview Chef Rich Pepe. Not only is he very successful with 4 well-known restaurants in Carmel, California, but he also has a retail food line with his best friend, Actor Joey Pantoliano, and has a reality show in the works. http://www.chefpepe.com
When I have given the waitperson two $20 bills on a $22 dollar tab and she says "Would you like change?" I never return to restaurant where that phrase is uttered and I always tell the manager why I'm not returning.
I recently got a job as a server and when I was trained, I was horrified to find that servers are actually encouraged to automatically ask "Do you need change?" if they pick up the payment and see cash sticking out of the book. I refuse because it makes me feel rude and presumptuous.
I worked in the service industry for many years and instead of saying, "Would you like change?" I decided to say, "I'll be right back with your change." This gives the customer the opportunity to tell you they don't need change without being too forward.
I used the same technique as b, this lets the customer know that you will be back.
"b" is correct, that is probably the very best way to handle cash sales. Obviously a pro.
I don't like that either Ed. However, you don't need to get overly-offended by it. One thing that you need to understand with waiters is that they're not trained to the t. They just don't know that some of the things that they say are considered rude.
As a manager I would tell you "good, don't come back. Be gone b it ch."
JonJon,
Your restaurant would fail fairly quickly if you take that attitude. Tour customers are what make you money. Offend them, and you clearly demonstrate your lack of social skills. If I leave cash, I expect the change back unless I say otherwise, and the "waitperson" should never even have to ask.
JonJon: (chuckle) You wouldn't be manager long.
Waiters don't know right away what kind of bills were put into the book and if we see cash we just ask if you want change. It isn't rude at all. We don't know how generous of a tipper, or how stingy, you are. Would you rather we come back with the change and then you say oh that was yours? We just want to get it right the first time because hey, we're kind of busy.
Amen! I have waited tables on and off for years in a nice place, and most of the time I can't see what's in the check presenter, so I ask as a matter of efficacy, not a presumption that I deserve whatever happens to be in there.
Why should we never assume? Because it will make an azz out of you and me.
If you still don't understand, then you just continue to make assumptions.
Well, hey, we customers are usually busy too, places to go, other things to do, etc. And hey, if you're busy, that's good. Job security. Just bring back the change. If the customer is gone, you can keep it. If the customer is still at the tabl,e put down the change and say thank you. The customer will either leave the change, or add ot it, or take it back. Whatever. Don't ask ! That's like asking "can I have the rest of the money for a tip?". If you're given a charge card, do you ask, "can I add my tip to this?". Don't you see it's the same kind of question/insinuation/presumption. When we – - me, my friends, family, most people I know – - pay with cash and include the tip in the payment, we simply tell the waiter, no change back, or no change required, or this takes care of your service too. But never ask someone if they want change.
I was taught to always make change for the customer for the very reason that there are so many comments on the issue. If you ask a customer if they need change, they may be offended. Period. So it takes time.... I was also taught to have a proper 'bank' with enough change to take care of my customers in a prompt manner.
I was a waitress for a long time. When I saw bills sticking out, I would usually assume they needed change. If for some reason I wanted to ask "Do you need change?" I would instead say, "I'll be right back with your change." This gave people the opportunity to say, "No need..." without making me feel rude.
Exactly....I agree that asking 'do you need change' sounds really rude. I think it's far more polite to say 'I'll be right back with your change.' Even if I was going to leave it all on the table, I usually say no need for change or whatever. It seems to me that tact and etiquette should be paramount in the service industry.
I wouldn't be too offended unless they obviously knew I'd left that much more than the check was. Otherwise, I assume they only see whatever bill is on top, and the rest is simply assuming you left enough for the check.
this is a silly thing to be petty about. It looks offensive if someone has included tip and i waste time bringing back change that they don't need, implying "oh this can't possibly be your tip for me". if i see cash, i ask if they need change. we are trained not to count cash in front of guests, so why would anyone think this is presumptuous if i clearly don't know how much money is in the billfold? sometimes people want to tell me exactly how much change they need, sometimes there is a specific way they want me to handle the bill ($7 back from the cash and $45 on the card, for instance) and sometimes they merely want a bill broken before they all pay for the check. people need to get a life and stop getting hot and bothered over simple questions, people's dialects & culture ("i was called 'miss' in the south and it ruined my night!"). if you get upset over questions like "do you need change" you clearly already have a bad attitude about wait staff and assume they're money grubbing a**holes so you're beyond help anyway, but really we're just trying to figure out how you want us to handle your payment.
i had a table once who openly made fun of me for saying "yall". oftentimes, diners are the rude ones and we have to take being verbally abused and sexually harassed by guests all night. my response? say "y'all" as much as humanly possible and accentuate my southern accent. it made me feel great making them look like douchebags.
#2- Often times the there are specials or certain cuts of meat or fish that are limited, so yes they run out. 'Why didn’t you make more?' Wow you're wife sounds like a real gem.
Don’t break the fourth wall here in the restaurant." – do you snap your fingers when you want another glass of white zinfandel?
So glad I'm outta the restaurant business. Had enough of dbags and aholes like this guy. Never happy always needy, just plain annoying.
If a customer would snap his/her fingers, at least I would know that s/he needed something. I can't read their minds.
If you snap your fingers at me, it is going to take THAT much longer to get what you need. If I'm clearly busy or if I just asked you two seconds ago if you needed anything, I probably won't be checking on you every minute. It is better to just say "excuse me" as I walk by.
So very true! unfortunately.. my husband and I have been eating at home a lot more to save money so we wont be hearing any of these from a waiter anytime soon.. the problem was that I was doing all of the cooking while he sat on his butt.. so I went out and got him this hilarious beginners cookbook.... can't tell you the name of them cause they are a bit unpc.. but if you have a good sense of humor, you can google "whipped and beaten culinary works".. but seriously, if you get offended easily.. you shouldn't go..
What I never want a waiter to say:
I'm sorry, there are mouse droppings in the arugula again. Care for the iceberg lettuce?
I'm sorry, your dinner is delayed. The cook needed to check in with his probation officer.
If you find an earring in your potatoes, please alert the maitre d'.
Oh ignore him, he's just the health inspector.
"No Problem" in response to a 'Thank you' has to be stopped before it replaces one of the loveliest word combinations in the English language – 'You're welcome'
The sentiment may be the same but hearing the word 'problem' while dining out cannot become a norm. Managers please enforce.
Why is "no problem" a problem? The practice of saying "thank you" implies "I appreciate your effort."
The response "no problem" implies "no effort was expended" or "the effort was worth the appreciation."
My curiosity stems from not understanding why you (and a friend of mine) take offense when none that I can detect is implied.
No Problem is a "negative" response – it raises the idea of there being any "problem" where none has been implied. The difference between "No Problem" and "It's my pleasure" is the same as "Don't give up" and "Keep Trying"... the negative places the thought in the mind of the recipient. "No problem?" I hope not! I wouldn't assume it could be a problem for you to get me a clean fork. "Don't give up" – I wasn't even thinking about quitting, but now that you mention it...
Oh, lighten up Ken, for cryin' out loud.
Ken, here's a fun fact: In Spanish, the appropriate response is "de nada," roughly "it was nothing." The same holds true for many, if not most, other languages, Latinate or otherwise.
In short, don't assume that English is inherently correct because it's your native tongue. Basically, "no problem" makes far more sense as a response than the antiquated and stilted "you're welcome."
Oh, and you're welcome for the language tip...courtesy of the 21st century and a knowledge of language.
@allanhowls. Nice point Ginsberg. However, he never stated that he hates when this happens in Spain or France or in countries where other than English is spoken. Bringing up what is proper in Spanish is not germane whatsoever. But nice "tip." You are verrrrry knowledgable. Or better yet, eres estupido.
I wholeheartedly agree with you, Ken. And please, PLEASE, teach your servers to not call us "you guys". "Are you guys ready to order?". "How are you guys doing?". When I go to dinner with my 80 year old mother, she deserves more respect than to be called a guy...
Maybe if she shaved we wouldn't have this problem.
I agree. When was it that women and girls became "guys"? I know it is "like super, like common" to misuse the word in this way now, but who exactly was it that instituted the change, and why?
Yes, if it were a problem, he or she has chosen the wrong career.
Well said.
My biggest pet peive latley is when servers come to my table and ask 'is every tasting just totally incredible?' This has happened numerous times lately and its really annoying, i usually respoind, 'yes, its good'. and let it go, but one man kept pushing it, comeing back FOUR times during our meal to ask, 'Is it tasting totaly incredible yet?' i wanted to scream.
Won ov meye biggiest pit peavz iz whin posterz kan't spel werth uh carp.
rite awn, dewd!
Your rite. They shuld of pade mor attension in Inglish class. To bad peeple can't be as smart as me and you. Will you merry me?
I hope his rude behavior was taken in to consideration when calculating his tip.
As a part time server – I serve because I enjoy the interaction with people – customers like this writer are what make me hate people.
First off, when a customer asks me what I would recommend, I ask what they like because there's nothing more awkward than recommending a steak to a vegan. Nor will I recommend my favorite salad for fear that the person will take offense and think I'm insulting them. You have to gauge your customer and get an idea of their likes and dislikes before you start shooting off suggestions.
Second, where do you go in your life that you expect places to cater to your every need? Do you go into each store in the mall and expect them to change the thermostat to your liking? You are ONE person in a restaurant of 100 people, why are your needs more important? Example, I had two tables at the same time, one complained it was too cold and another was a customer who had diabetes who complained it was too hot. So tell me – who am I supposed to cater to?
I agree with you! I am vegan and so many times I get seated and the second thing out of the "servers" mouth is "The steaks here are great" "The pork chops today are awesome" They always have some type of "meat" they are promoting... I wish I had a camera for all the times I have said... I am vegan I don't eat meat... their looks are priceless! Although it is not always their fault... most of the time "management" tells them what to say to customers... along with that I was in one restaurant and a woman carried on so badly about the air conditioning that they did finally end up turning it down... it got so warm and stuffy in there that the rest of the people in the restaurant complained... so the manager went and advised her that due to everyone else wanting the air on the air was being turned back up, she stated she was leaving... and I swear the manager said in a low voice... should have done that sooner...!! I applauded him and the rest of the restaurant joined in!
maybe you should try a steak and get over that silly vegan nonsense.
Newsflash: less than 1% of people are vegan.
Should a diabetic be offended that the server suggested a dessert? Should someone with Celiac disease be offended that the server brought bread to their table? Should a recovering alcoholic be offended that the server suggested a wine pairing with their meal?
No.
Get over it, the world doesn't revolve around your "special circumstances".
Newsflash: less than 1% of people are vegan.
Should a diabetic be offended that the server suggested a dessert? Should someone with Celiac disease be offended that the server brought bread to their table? Should a recovering alcoholic be offended that the server suggested a wine pairing with their meal?
No.
Get over it, the world doesn't revolve around your "special circumstances".
thanks for that, PTS!
You are completely correct. I agree with what you're saying. I used to be a server as well and I disagree with a few points that this journalist has made. I always ask people what kind of food they like. Not only to guage them, but also to save time. Time is of the essence when you're a server and I don't want to waste time suggesting our salmon pesto to someone that hates seafood.
Three things:
"Do you need change?"
"No prob."
"Have a bless-ed day."
My friends and I have one local place that we always go to for the Thursday night specials. The waitstaff there knows us, and we keep going back, and tip as well as we can manage. But we are going to tip as well as our single diget bugets can manage if you make us laugh. One night one guy was holding all of our bill folders, and we couldnt get him to realize the waitress was back. We all started chanting "Chris" and when she joined in we all burst out laughing. She got an extra bit from all of us. Also when in a college-esque resteraunt, indiviudals will always leave a dollar or two for water, even when its free.
Please, please tell me you're not in college when you can't even spell correctly. Because if you are, and you are the future leaders and educators of our childrens' generation, we're all doomed.
I believe in saving our planet for our children, but not our childrens' children.
I don't think children should be having children...
I have been to the US of A 13 times for a total length of about six months. We ate in restaurants of many varieties almost every night. It rarely, if ever, happened to me that service was rude. Quite the opposite, actually. Could it be that those negative voices here just get what they give!?
Ding ding ding! We have a winner. Yes, Ben, I think that is often the case.
Ha! More often than not. ;)
YES!!!! You rule!
I HATE when a waitress/waiter brings your salad or appetizer and then 5 minutes later brings you your entree – uh that is your job to make sure that the food comes in order! That is a big NO NO
oh, you like your appetizer to be served after your entree? do you know what the word "order" means?
Hahahaha!
another idiot who needs to get over it
Actually, it is the Kitchen's job to control the timing of appetizers and entree. While you are correct that the restaurant should serve the appetizer and then give you ample time to enjoy it before bringing the entree, the server has no control over this, they bring you the food when the kitchen makes it ready. If the courses were not spaced correctly the server has only two options: bringing the food to you or letting the entree sit and grow cold before they bring it to you. If the timing truly affects your enjoyment of your dining experience, you should speak with the manager or wait to order your entree until your server brings your appetizer.
Actually, its the waiter's job and the kitchen's job to make sure the food comes out at the appropriate time. In the kitchen where I work, the cold side tells the line when each course goes up. This gives the line cooks an idea about when to start the entrees. Of course, the waiters are the ones who know how fast the customers are eating. If they eat fast, the waiters put their fire orders in sooner. It they're casually nibbling at their salads the waiters put in their fire orders later. The control over when the foods come out is very dependent on the waiters. The system works fairly well, and we've never had a dish sent back to stay warm under the heat lamps because the customer wasn't ready for it.
I agree with Apohenia. Most of the time it's just bad kitchen timing. The servers are taught to put in the food a certain way. However, the kitchen usually messes up and might take too long on the appetizer and then the guys on the other side whip up the entree in a jiffy. From my experience of dealing with kitchen staff, their timing and communication with each other is awful. When this stuff happens, you have to talk to the manager. The more people do that, the more the managers will realiize that they need to train their kitchen staff a little bit better.
Easy solution. Order your appetizer and when it arrives, put the order in for your main dish. I always do this.
My favorite is " Do you think "You" should be ordering that?"
Do people really ask that?
This article seems pouty. And when I see all the people here agreeing that servers are insolent and rude, I have to think that these people are bringing the vibe themselves. I cannot remember the last time I had outright bad service at a sit-down restaurant. Those servers are generally working all the time, and apologetic with any mix-ups.
shabby. u should be fired from cnn.
What I hate is when they bring one person's order and say that the other order will be right out. Bring everyone's food at the same time please. I dont want to finish before my wife and I sure dont want to twiddle my thumbs with the plate in front of me waiting for her order.
Often it is not the server that wants to bring the food out. After all, what server wants to make the same trip twice? Usually, a cook or the kitchen manager/food expeditor will make the server run the food to the table. The underlying theory is "hot food hot". The food is done and they want to push it through. This is a management problem, not a server problem.
word. at my restaurant, there is a manager shuffling the food out. we run the trays we're told to, and if we stop... it's like a jam in a conveyor belt. food gets cold, backed up... bigger problems arise. usually, the 2nd or 3rd trays should not be far behind. just keeping the flow.
it is very frustrating as a server to get blamed for things that have nothing to do with us and are beyond our control.. and worse yet, getting tips that reflect this.
Thats too bad ssssms, but you cant expect to get good tips if you work at a crappy restaurant. If management is that bad then you should consider applying at a more respectable establishment.
sadly, my restaurant is very well respected.. as much as it is a fairly large chain. i'd go as far to assume you've eaten at one of its branches. and even more sad is the fact that... you seem to think only the restaurant i work at is like this. since everything at restaurants relies on staff communication, whether it be through putting in orders on a comp. or spoken word... especially on busy nights, there are huge discrepancies. would you rather your food be cold, but with the rest of your party? then i guess... your whole party would have to wait while you send yours back?? it seems as simple as to say "Wel uhhh your establishment should have their sh*t in order enough to not have this happen." but like i said... we're all human, we get busy............ and theres about 300 more of you in the restaurant, wanting their food as perfect as they imagined it. we try, hard. a lot harder than you seem to think.
sssms, in a good restaurant a cook knows when to start 2 dinners so they finish at the same time. And if he wrecks one and has to start over he starts both over. If you dont want to throw it away then give it to the busboy. Tips are dependent on how much I enjoy the dinner not how much you think you deserve. Your job is to make sure I enjoy my meal. If your job just involved carrying dish from kitchen to table then you wouldnt deserve any tip at all.
This comment is for the entire post... but in particular to "Ed," who I hope to "SERVE" one day and personally EFF up everything.
As a server for MANY years, I can say that it was not my "career" choice to become a waitress. It was an easy way to earn money on the side while still being able to maintain my busy DOUBLE DEGREE college schedule. I'm sorry, Ed, that my family could not provide the spending money, tuition or other things that college students need money for... so I had to get a job. The reason for the $3/hour salary? Because it is EXPECTED that we will also earn tips (15%-20%) In fact, we have to declare these tips, and get taxed on our hourly+the tips. Those $3/hour? Don't exist. Never see them. What I get is what I walk out of the restaurant with.
The points in this article are.... somewhat understandable, but clearly written from the point of view of someone who should stick to fine dining/private service establishments and who has never served a day in their life. It is absolutely terrible to be sweating bullets, with sore feet from the long hours necessary to actually accrue any sort of $$, and then have to deal with people like this. And if we're rude back? ... what did you expect? We ARE also human beings. And as much as you dislike us, and show it with your snarky remarks, rude looks and ridiculous requests (sure! let's have everyone in the restaurant roast because you forgot a sweater!).. we dislike you back. And how much do I care that you didn't like your dish? Or the pace of the meal, at this point in your treatment of me? Not one bit. I've moved on to "chatting up" other tables that are being kind, treating me like a human being.. and ensuring they get the service they DESERVE.
All that being said, I consider myself an excellent waitress, and my tips (for the most part) reflect it. We all get busy and no one, besides people on your service staff, understands what the management is required of you. For example, I am REQUIRED to say "Hello, My name is.... and I will be your server today." Also, I am required to bus/clear my tables as soon as possible.. perhaps I've asked if you are done yet because you haven't picked up your fork in 10min and my manager has already asked me to clear your table 3 times. This is one thing about restaurant management that I, myself, hate. And try to avoid doing. But at some point... it's about turning your table and continuing on to other people on the waiting list who wanted to eat our food just as badly.
So please, let's be a little more understanding. There is a lot more at play than your wants when you go out to eat. If you can't handle it... order out! Stay in!
"A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person."
Very well written Sssssms.
ssssms,
Well written, if a bit on the angst side. I will return your comments however with WHEN is it OK, and what is the best/worst method for the waited to complain? I have also seen both sides of the fence, and alas have responded immaturely as well as professionally depending, as I'm sure you have seen as well, on my mood and circumstances/stress at home.
Your response is appreciated, as is your service to, I'm sure, many satisfied guests.
touche... the best way to complain, for lack of a better way to say is... not to. Rephrasing the complaint to a sort of, "hey. what was going on with the (reason for complaint)?" The AC? The music? A certain dish? Salsa too spicy? Whatever it is, asking the question nicely will prompt the waiter to give you a real reason. In my restaurant, the salsa is homemade daily, and usually by a different cook certain days. Some make it spicier than others. Also, different batches of jalapeños are spicier... regardless, that's just an example.
For the most part, the server will give you a clear cut reason as to why the kitchen took too long.. or whatever it may be. If you feel this is just an excuse, I don't know what to tell ya. On my behalf, I always tell a manager when a customer raises a concern, and from there he decides whether some sort of complimentary item or deduction from the check is necessary. Maybe I can suggest a different item? I am a human, and I DO want you to enjoy your time at my restaurant and return (and sit in my section!) so I can promise you ill do my best to settle whatever qualms you may have (within my control).
The more I read responses to articles like this one by people that make their living serving, the more I wonder if I ought to be afraid of them. Seriously. Lots of pent up frustration that seems to be on the verge of explosion.
I believe I'm a considerate and kind person, I get along with people and like people, and have gotten along well with almost every server I have had. I think it comes down to expectations. People expect to be treated with respect. Restaurant guests don't want to feel like they are looked down upon or stupid, nor do those serving. And the more expensive the restaurant, the higher the stakes.
My big question is, how in the world do you, as a first time guest in a fine dining restaurant, ensure you will get good service? Sure, if you're a regular guest and tip well, service will be great... but how about if you've never been there before? The tip obviously doesn't really mean "to insure promptness," as you don't pay the tip before the opportunity arises for service to be prompt or not... it seems like the only way to get superior service is to dress just right, look like you are on a date perhaps and hoping to impress your companion, and then, it might happen. Trying to be civil, kind, respectful, these things don't seem to go too far, at least at the "upscale" establishments. This is not always the case, but unfortunately I've seen it a lot recently.
I love fine food, but this whole social game of chess with tips and service, it really makes me want to skip the "nice" restaurants and stick with the ones where people are nice.
If your server, or the serving staff at the restaurant you choose to check out for the first time is well trained and professional, they will give you the best service they possibly can at the moment. we know that's our job and that is what we are getting "tipped"/paid to do. what i was referring to is... once you start snapping your fingers, waving me down when i'm clearly taking another tables orders, or doing other things that.... are just plain rude, my desire to give you my best service goes down the drain. why? not only do i not want to deal with it, for many reasons (i'm very self critical of my service, it makes me feel awful–hurts my feelings, annoys me, etc)... but it's a pretty much 90% chance you won't tip well. am i professional still? yes. your food will come out right, and hopefully as promptly as possible, God knows I don't want to deal with you any longer than I have to... do you get my above and beyond? Will i go out of my way to do something special? (throw some extras in your to-go box, refill a couple extra times...) probably not.
We need to get rid of the whole tip-based system and pay servers a living wage. Managers don't have to make a living from whatever the customers do (or don't) feel like giving them. Cooks don't, even though they're the ones with the most control of the food. Firemen don't. Programmers don't. But the powers that be pawn off paying restaurant serving staff on the customers, leading to stress all around. Why should the server be paid less if I order a sandwich than if I order a filet mignon, anyway?
WorldWalker ... you obviously know nothing of the restaurant industry. The reason servers aren't paid a "normal" wage is because that hamburger you just bought at Denny's for 7.99 would cost about 12.99 or more if the server walking it to your table was being paid $10.00/hr instead of the measly $2.83/hr. The owner of the establishment certainly isn't going to eat the overhead costs of paying servers regular wage they do what all businesses do when prices rise, pass the bill on to the consumer. And that filet mignon at the classy joint instead of costing 29.99 would cost about 49.99. So, I ask you again, would you prefer to tip, or do you prefer we pay servers higher wage?
When I get "pushed" to leave before I'm ready, the server gets ZERO for a tip. Who are you to judge just long someone needs to eat? I could care less how long a line is for tables..I spend my hard earned money to enjoy my meal at MY OWN pace...not yours!!!
i completely respect your right to eat at your own pace. i was referring more so to people who are rude about it... let's say, got a $15 dish, or worse... split an appetizer with a friend... yet sit at a table for 3 hours. I respect your desire to catch up with old friends over dinner... but on a busy night, that tip (to be fair, let's say 17% on... $40? will earn me $6.80?) at a certain point, i am losing money. 3 hours? 5 different parties? even if they all purchased the same out of food... that's $35.
Like i mentioned in my previous posts... I enjoy giving good service and being professional... am I going to force you to go? No. Will I clear your plates when you haven't touched them in 30min ? Probably. I always make sure to let customers know to take their time, whether I'm happy about it or not.
I agree with Sssms completely. I've been serving for over twenty years off and on. It is great to have serving as something to fall back on while going to school or waiting for the results of the Bar exam, etc. but I am always reminded of why I went to school to find a better job, i.e. people are jerks.
Your server is "chatting up" another table for too long? Do you really think they want to be? I have friends and am not looking to become bosom buddies with any of my tables, but some tables want that extra attention and it is rude to say "I have five other tables so you have to shut up and let me go." Some people want to tell you about when they had a Pisco Sour in Peru and how yours measures up and there is just no getting away from them. But, like spoiled children, all your other tables think "But why aren't they paying attention to ME??? Isn't that what they get paid next to nothing for?"
Have you ever tried telling a chef that you are NOT going to take food to a table because it all needs to come out at once? It's a quick way to get fired. Why would anyone think that is the server's fault? Yet many commenters seem to think that it is.
The bottom line is that if you are nice to your server you will get better service. If it is a pleasure to come to your table because you are friendly and inquisitive then I will be back more often. If you are rude, complain or difficult then I won't come back. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Think you will get terrible service and you almost certainly will because you will make it happen. That's just basic economics. Demonstrate that you are angry, moody or otherwise difficult to please and you become a lost cause. I won't sacrifice the good tips I would get by providing exceptional service to my other tables to garner the poor tip from your table because you are incapable of remembering to order everything you want at the same time. Have you always asked for ketchup with your potatoes? Then it is a safe bet that you will want it this time as well. Why not ask for it at the time you order your potato? Same is true for onions for your steak, agave for your tea, two lemon wedges for your salad or whatever your annoying peculiarity might be. I have twenty five other customers to please so I can probably only make it to your table five or six times during your stay. If you use up all of them making me run for extra dressing and when I bring that you suddenly remember you also like extra croutons while the rest of your table orders drink refills with each successive trip, well... guess what? I'm not coming back to your table. I'm your server – not your indentured servant. The five extra bucks I might make from you won't make up for the fifty I'll lose from my other tables because they haven't seen me in half an hour. Sorry.
Split an appetizer with a friend, sit for 3 hrs, not tip? Yeah, I will make it clear that you need to go.
I wont be rude to you, but I -will- clear everything from the table – including the salt & pepper shakers, sauces, & sugars. No I'm not offering refills after you've left a crappy tip.
A coworker of mine has an aunt who does just that. She's sat with her friends in my section several times. My friend finally let her know that it's extremely rude to do this.
couldn't care less... c'mon...
I agree with all the servers on here but I do believe that he is talking about "fine dining" and I do expect that kind of service if I am paying $60 a plate. I your manager is pressuring you in such a plate I would complain to the owner. Other places I eat I just expect decent service and a good attitude, a smile always ups the tip and I do tip as well as I can.
Amen.
The only difference between a server/waitstaff and a customer is who is taking the order. I believe that when you treat any person providing you with a service as you wish to be treated, your entire experience should be a good one. Every restaurant has corporate standards for everything from the amount of time it takes to greet a table to how long it takes for an order to be produced, and servers do strive to attain those standards. Also, servers aren't just composed of college students, they're college graduates in a tough job market, they're also often parents working to supplement their family's income. Good service should be rewarded as it is intimately tied to your experience at a restaurant. If your tip is not based on the quality of your service, then you shouldn't eat out.
WOW! I love all these comments! The most lively topic I've seen outside of Casey Anthony!
How about the people who CONSTANTLY come over and ask, How is everything? Is everything okay? My husband and I were dining out at a Chevy;s and FOUR people came over in 15 minutes to ask if everything was okay, but we hadn't even gotten our food yet. And we asked for more dip to three of those people and NEVER GOT IT. So why did they ask?????
My biggest pet peeve regarding wait staff – bigger than grabbing plates before everyone is done, bigger than longer-than-necessary waits because the server is chatting at another table, bigger than ending up with a pickle on my plate after I specifically say I don't want one – my biggest pet peeve is servers who don't WRITE DOWN the meal orders. Please don't stand there, hands behind your back, nodding at each person at the table – write down what we're saying, so I don't end up with someone else's meal. I don't understand why some servers refuse to write orders down.
Some waiters are really good at remembering orders- when I waited tables, I usually wouldn't bring a pad to the table for less than 5 people so I could provide more personal service instead of staring at my writing. However, as soon as I got a moment, I'd write it down for the check and kitchen.
No one is that good. I usually ask for something to be held (tomato, mayo.....always something "standard" I don't like) and it never fails that jack wad wait people FORGET because they think they're that good. My orders are probably more than 90% not right when people cannot take the time to write something down.
Alex....some of us are that good. The problem is the skill is worth more some place else so I for one never worked in a restaurant.
I grew up in the restaurant business and waited tables for years (great job for those who are out of work or want a second job for extra cash) and I rarely wrote down peoples orders. For me when the restaurant is busy and there are plenty of tables that need help I just moved faster when I didn't write down a persons order. I have taken tables of 15 people and remembered everyone's order in detail down to their salad dressing. Granted I wasn't perfect every single time, but the majority of the time I got the orders correct and the patrons typically notice it and will tip a little more because for some it is impressive.
you weren't perfect every single time but you could have been
No I wasn't, but I have worked with plenty of servers who write down the orders and would mess up a whole lot more than me. Just because the server does or doesn't write down an order does not mean they will get your order right. My point was just because the server prefers not to write down your order doesn't automatically mean they are going to eff up your order.
some restaurants want their wait staff to take orders without writing them down. personally, i've seen more mistakes from servers who write things down than who don't.
I agree with you completely Meowser. I always wrote down my orders as a server. I couldn't care less if it was just one item. Because between all the shuffling around and with other tables, I might forget what that order was by the time I got to the computere. That is a pet peeve of mine as well.
Sometimes that can't be helped. There are countless times that I've rang in "NO PICKLES!!!" but someone else ran my food and didn't realize there were pickles. The guest freaks out and acts like I've just killed their puppy in front of them because they got pickles. Where I work, in particular, it is very easy to rush food back and get a new plate without pickles. The whole turnaround takes less than a minute.
Every server I have ever had in America is rude, discourteous and unprofessional. EVERY one. Without exception.
Like, I Totally agree. They would not accept my expired coupon..What's UP with that. How am I suppose to taste your food if you won't accept my coupon?
Use coupons that haven't expired yet or pay just like the rest!
Ummm, pay menu price! I hope you're joking. And you mean 'supposed', not 'suppose'.
You're joking right??? Coupons have an expiration date for a reason! Why should the company lose money on your behalf??
Then go home (wherever that is) or eat in.
To Jeann: Maybe you just don't like them and the feeling is mutual?? If you're so displeased, it might serve you well to provide your feedback about bad work performance like that to that person's superior instead of slamming Americans.
As compared to the not rude servers in which countries?
Maybe if you didn't eat at Chuckie Cheese's all the time you'd have a good experience.
It's probably because you treat them like crap. You probably had ONE bad server in your life and treat all servers like crap because of it. And since your expectation is so low of them, their expectation of earning money from you is also low. So they pay attention to the table that treats them decently and will likely tip well.
STOP BEING AN JERK TO YOUR SERVERS OR EAT IN YOUR OWN D*** KITCHEN.
You're an idiot. Plain and simple. there are millions of friendly waiters in this country. You are just posting BS.. Furthormore, there's a simple solution...get the F*** out of the US, we do not need nor want you here!!!
Wow, you people do realize that waiters/waitresses are human beings right?
It's unbelievable how horribly some people treat wait staff. Next time you tear your waiter's head off for forgetting your extra side of sour cream, ask yourself "Would I speak like this to someone working at a bank? Or at a doctor's office? Or even at the pet store?".
I'll bet you wouldn't dare.....and if you would....you have no manners and people like you are a plague upon our society.
So,What's your point?
My point is...if you treat people like dogs, don't be surprised when they bite.
That says alot about the restaurants you eat in. Lynn and I are more sophisticated.
Canine managed restaurants are more highly sophisticated than you would think Dick.
Seriously? This author sounds like a real pric.K Just the kind of a hole that ruins peoples whole evenings. I tell you what, we won't turn down the AC cause guess what dude... ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU... you're not the only customer in the place. The rest of his complaints are just as shallow and self centered.
gimmee a break! I stopped reading the comments after about a gazillion people complained that I shouldn't be harsh (or otherwise) with poor service simply because the wait staff makes $3 an hour. Too damned bad I say. That's a reasonable wage for that job. If you don't like the pay, get a different job. You're here to SERVE ME. I don't care about you, what your name is, that you're hungover, that you're a kid with no experience, that you've got sore feet, that you're sweating bullets becuase it's hot or anything else for that matter. Ask me what I want, bring me the order (hot preferably and at the SAME TIME as everyone else at the table), have a smile on your face, come by ONCE to ask if there if everything is ok, and then LEAVE ME ALONE. And DO NOT clear the table until everyone is done. Don't even ask if you can. It is, without a doubt (aside from spitting in my mashed potatoes, the absolute rudest thing you can do. I'd rather you fart in my presence than do that.
Yore witch iz mye cummant turdbreath!
Pooooooooooooooooooot!
you betchya, ya nimrod.
Did you go out to have a good time or to just be a raving a$$hole to everyone trying to make your night enjoyable?
I just spit in your mashed potatoes.
LOL!!!!
Right, and since 100 different will have 100 DIFFERENT preferences, how is someone supposed to know yours? Give the world a break!
Amen to clearing plates before everyone is done as a peeve! I hate that and at least here in Seattle it isn't even regarded as a Thing To Consider.
Can I also say my intense dislike for the over-chatty waiter? I didn't come to the restaurant to talk to you for crying out loud.
Sean, you're the Man!
oh ed, you sound like such a pleasant person & fun to be around! what a jerk! get over it.
I pretty much can handle most things from chain restaurant servers except a snarky attitude. I get that this isn't your dream job, but if you can't be bothered to slap a pleasant expression on your face or stop chatting with the other servers while I watch my food petrify in the "window" don't expect me to slap down my normal 20%. The biggest problem I have with restaurants now days is the bathrooms. Yes...I am that customer who washes her hands before she eats...every time. I will visit your restroom and so will my husband and boys. I don't care how great a menu or prices or decor or serving staff you have. If your bathrooms are out of soap or towels or is dirty or smells like a herd of elephants took a dump right behind the herd of zebras blew through with bladder control problems, I am NOT going to want to visit your restaurant again. I get that sometimes restaurants get busy and that there are disgusting customers who leave messes or stink up the place temporarily but that's not what I'm talking about. In my opinion a manager should tour the restrooms hourly and be sure they are clean and stocked. I would appreciate that far more than their imperious "drop by" my table to interrupt to ask in a very cursory manner if everything is all right and or worse come by to chat and explain their survey of the moment card. If I have a problem, I am not too big a sissy to come find you and tell you. It amazes me however how managers react when they ask "is everything all right?" and you say the food is fine but their bathroom is not.
Our food is so fantastic, our customers sheet does not stink.
Regarding the survey-of-the-moment card interruptions, managers are not autonomous in most restaurants. They have to do what the owners tell them to do or they are gone. Handing out comment cards or scratch-off incentives for a return visit are part & parcel of their job. Some of them would rather manage the controlled chaos than bother you while you're enjoying the service & food of their establishment, but they have to.
>they would rather not bother you...
No problem! I'll go someplace else. (One strike and you're out.)
What pisses me off about filthy bathrooms is looking at the clipboard posted in them where an employee is supposed to initial when they have checked/cleaned it. The initial is in the block for the hour AFTER I entered it. I didn't know time travel was even possible!!!
I agree with the bathroom thing. I hate it. If the bathroom is that dirty, I wonder how dirty the kitchen is. Bathrooms are usually something that the hostesses have to keep up with. What some restaurants don't understand is that it's part of the package deal. It's not enough that their food is ok. However, don't forget that we have to drop by your table to see if everything is ok.
I can understand most of these pet peeves, but what really makes me want to get up and leave is when a server tells me that I'm wrong to complain. I waited 30 minutes once to place an order. The only reason I stayed was because I was enjoying a drink, and really wanted to order my favorite dish (on my birthday). I wasn't unpleasant, I just asked the girl why we waited so long. She snipped back at me "Oh I don't think it was that long." When I showed her my text telling a friend I was "Just sitting down for dinner and would call her back" along with the time, she didn't return to the table and sent another server over to take care of us. She didn't even apologize. The one thing I learned during my years in customer service is you do what you can to mitigate your mistake (within reason) and leave the customer with as positive of an impression as you can.
The majority of Female waitresses are having PMS at the same time. It is something I have studied for many years,that and bloody chicken.
People are people. As a casual restaurant owner I am not there to police legal customer behavior, neither is my staff. If a customer is bothering you directly tell the other human being who is offending you. Expecting people to follow your secret social expectations is passive aggresive. More interesting still is how customer tolerance for "bad" service is higher when they face a foreign, not so english speaking server. Don't even get me started on the bias in customer expectation between women servers and men servers. The only golden rule for dining out is be nice which means don't forget how bitchy you can be when you are hungry. Just relax and try to enjoy life more without making rules for how everyone ELSE should or should not act.
I completely agree. The only person who is ever going to serve you perfectly is you. Since you can't serve yourself (unles you are at home or at a buffet) just understand that most people are trying to do their best and pleasing you the best they can. If someone doesn't meet your expectations, give them advice/constructive criticism, and if they take it well, it's a sign of good character, if they take it negatively, then they don't care to serve you or possibly others well. In the end, it's just important to mind your manners. Being rude gets you nowhere and Karma's one thing that tends to bite back.
The one I am absolutely against is #1. When I waited tables in college, the "What do you suggest?" conversation goes a little like this:
"The talapia is...." "But I don't eat fish. Do you have chicken?"
"Well, the chicken parmigiana is...." "I am trying to stay away from fried food."
This is why servers answer, "It depends on what you like." If you, as an editor of a food magazine, are half as good at your own job as you are at being snippy, you would know that you can go online and find out what the locals think at nearly any restaurant of any city.
Get off the cross. The kitchen desperately needs the wood.
Lol, I totally agree. That was my first thought to the complaint, that probably the server has tried to recommend things only to be immediately shot down in mid-sentence. This laundry list of complaints is just plain b*tchiness, asking a restaurant to psychically know exactly what you want.
And honestly, if the author's wife is soooo pressured by the waiter letting her know that they're about to run out of something, just tick it off as something you don't want. I personally appreciate that kind of thing, since I'm apt to order exactly what they just ran out of.
The not turning something down because "the chef likes it like that" is a little weird of a reason. I'd go with, you're not the only customer here, and others seem to like it the way it is, only phrased more politely... The only one I can semi agree with is the overly friendly waiter. I'm kinda shy, so a little chattiness is cool but I'd be weirded out if the waitress wanted to squeal over my nephew's pics when I was trying to show them to my companion too. But honestly, that sort of boundary crossing is pretty rare, and I do eat out a lot.
amen! I also totally disagree with #1. I used to work as a server at a steak house and people would always ask for recomendations. I'm not the type of person thats going to tell a gues that "everything we make is sooo good! bla bla bla" I will be honest and tell you what is good and what i think is bad. If you ask me for a recomendation of course I would say it depends what you like. If you are in the mood for seafood, i'm going to tell you that I don't know from experience because I don't eat seafood. There are a million items on a menu. It helps to make suggestions if you know what that person typically likes or is in the mood for.
Haha, Yes I love being cut off mid-sentence. I usually try to stick with "What type of food are you in the mood for?" If they give me an area (sandwich, barbecue, salad, fish) then I can more accurately tell them some of my favorites.
If I order a coke don't ask if i meant diet coke. Did I say diet? NO. I did not.
You broke and crushed two of our chairs,so we were just assuming........
If they made the booths at White Castle big enough to hold me, I wouldn't need to drink diet coke. So I'm suing you, too.
It seems as though the vast majority of commenters here have never been a server at a restaurant from the commentary I've read.
Let me start off with a tip: if you want a professional, well-trained, well-groomed, and more mature wait staff, go to a restaurant where the entrees cost significantly more than $7.99. A two or three star restaurant would be a good place to start (and I'm not talking the Zagat ratings). And I'll tell you why:
At most chain restaurants, which is where these complaints originate, the age of the wait staff is between 18-21 the majority of the time. I know this because I waited tables in chain restaurants when I was that age almost a decade ago. The oldest waiter I ever worked with was 37 and he was waiting tables because, as he said, he had "burned out as a lawyer". Irrelevant point, but you get what I'm saying.
Your servers are not going to be the most mature, socially adept, or intelligent people on the planet. They are going to be kids who are trained by "managers" (who are often just up-trained servers and make around 30k a year) by use of cut-and-dry training videos based off of consumer surveys. For many of these kids its their first job and many of them have no clue how to handle themselves with anyone except their own group of friends. So when a training video says "treat the customers like your friends", they're going to do just that. They're going to gawk at the photos you pull out at the table. They're going to use kid-ish slang. They're going to talk to you like they know you. They're going to waste time. Why? BECAUSE THEY'RE KIDS. The training consists of a 20 minute video and two days of "shadowing" another kid on the floor to see how its done.
Also, keep in mind that these servers generally work for less than minimum wage. Thats right folks, your average server makes between $2.14 and $4.60 per hour and depends on TIPS to make up the rest. These kids may not be the best and brightest, I certainly wasnt when I was waiting tables at 18, but does it really hurt you THAT bad to give them $5 as a tip? Most servers dont live with mommy and daddy and actually have bills and rent to pay. It's not all just "play money".
Perhaps we all need to just mellow out a bit, get off our high-horses, and remember what it was like to be 18 or 19 and having to work full time for garbage pay while going to school and trying to grow up all at the same time. Maybe we all need to take the time and give our servers some USEFUL verbal tips WITHOUT shorting them on the monetary ones. Maybe people need to learn that they should expect a service differential between Applebees and Chez Luis. Seriously, lets get over ourselves here. None of us were any better when we were in their shoes. We had to learn (and learn to become jaded, cynical, and arrogant) along the way, just as they are.
Sooo if I have a complaint about cafe' at Target, I'm not allowed to b!tch?
Nope, you're absolutely entitled to complain. Just remember where you are. If you're expecting professional service from the cafe at Target, you, sir, are very very misguided in your approach to dining out.
Let's remember what TIPS means, To Insure Professional (or prompt) Service. I always TIP based on my service. I start at 20%, and based on how you do, that number can go up or down. But you should not assume that you are going to get a great TIP just because you brought me my food without it being poisoned. If my service is slow, and I don't get my food for 30 minutes, or as said above, if my server doesn't take my order for 30 minutes, I am not going to TIP you well. If you want a guaranteed minimum paycheck, take a job that pays by the hour, any server can earn good money (far better than minimum wage) if they give exceptional service, because people will generally (I know there are stingy people out there) TIP better if you provide good service.
I hate when servers do a crappy job and then still expect a good TIP, it is something to be earned. It doesn't matter how old you are, you should be prepared to do any job that you apply for well. And don't ask me if I want change or not. Just give me the change that I paid, and I will leave it on the table if you earned it.
You should always tip well... because you're not paying for past services but rather future services. When you tip well consistantly the waiters know who you are and take good care of you. Tips are about ensuring a warm welcome the NEXT time you come in.
Imagining that TIP stands for "To Insure Professional" (or Prompt) service is an old wives tale and is not true. Look it up.
You probably shouldn't be parsing out money based on that erroneous assumption.
Phil- since the acronym is "TIPS", there is no sense or need to say "TIP" in caps (to insure prompt....??"). It's just 'tip' at that point.
TIPS – To Insure Proper Service
****! It's ENSURE, people.
But if you give them a good tip whether they did badly or not, how are they going to learn? I've occasionally given a low tip, but I try to write on the receipt or somewhere why the tip is so low. I also write a compliment on the check if the service was really good and I left a large tip. Being young and wait staff is no excuse for feeling entitled to a good tip, they need to work for it like everyone else. And if they don't like that, then... waiting tables isn't the only way to work through college. I worked my four years in college as a customer service rep, it taught me just as valuable lessons about the world as waiting tables does, and I didn't have to worry about whether I would get stiffed by someone who doesn't believe in tipping.
Servers can learn how to do better by always TELLING them what is wrong, especially while it is happening. I used to be a server, and the most frustrating thing is when the guest says everything is fine, and then after they leave you find a comment that they left saying that the "the food was bland", " service was slow" etc.. Instead of just giving your server a poor tip, tell them what the problem is while you are experiencing it. The goal of every server is to give you a good experience. Yes that is because people (hopefully) base their tip on quality of service, but quite a lot of servers really want you to have a good dining experience. For the most part, if you express a concern to a server they will do whatever is in their power to fix that problem. That way both you, and the server, leave happy.
Writing it down after the fact is being passive aggressive. Or telling me that everything is fine and then running to my manager to complain is ridiculous. I am a grown women who is waiting tables because I lost my job due to the economy. I have two college degrees and work with the same. I once had a lady tell me "You're just not very good." on a night when I was absolutely slammed. I explained to her that I was very sorry I forgot her sour cream but that I was extremely busy and certainly did not mean to do it on purpose. I told the manager who came and talked to her and she ended up tipping me fine. But I liked that much better than her Jack Kerouac'ing on a comment card only to be read by a manager after both of us had left.
You are exactly right. Thnak you for your well-reasoned and informative post.
hate to break it to you, but I'm 26 & work in a "chain" restaurant. I'm very professional & take my job seriously. For the most part I try to stay out of my guess' hair, but if I can tell they're chatty or strike up a conversation w me, then I'll talk w them. I always make sure my customers are well taken care of. And believe me,if you leave a BS $1cash tip, it will get handed back to you with a polite smile.
Not only are you paying me, but I also have to tip out bussers on nights we have them as well as the bartender if we selll any alcohol.
guest/guest's.....not guess.....guess what?
Yes, yes, he misspelled guest. Did you not understand what he meant? And an ellipse has three periods in it, not four.
The first time someone hands a tip back to me is the last time I'll darken the door of the place. And I'll be damned sure the management knows why. If it's a chain, the headquarters will get a letter he next day.
If you got a $1 tip, one of two people was a jerk. There is no point in *both* of you acting like jerks.
Lol i'm a she.
I'm also on an android phone w a touchscreen only keyboard. I spelled guess instead of guests'. So sue me.
My mgrs are actually cool. They laugh the few times I've done that. Sorry, but I deserve better than $1 when you've run me to death, asked every question imagineable, kept me from serving my other guests, and I've still managed to keep a smile on my face the whole time for you.It happens, and it gets handed back.
Those are usually the people who are ghetto, complain & nitpick, whine about being charged 99¢ for a loaded baked potat, etc..
You know Alexander I read all these comments and found nothing I felt the need to respond to, but this is about exactly how I feel. Not everyone lives and mooches off mom & pap, so sit yourself down, be courteous and pray to god that the first grade teachers did there jobs teaching the kid to treat others as you'd like to be treated, yeh? Yeh.
My only comment really is on #4 and 5, but I'll go in reverse...
#5- Sometimes, it's not the waiter/waitress, but the corporate culture of a certain range of restaurants that encourages that level of informality. I know of a couple of places that "knock off points" as it were to servers who aren't friendly "enough" or show enough "spirit" (If you've seen the movie Office Space, remember the "not enough flair" bit?). It's corporate policy like that which leads to hiring outgoing people. Which leads to sometimes that wait staff being "too friendly" for your personal comfort level.
#4- In regards to a request to change the AC/heating- that's one thing that the restaurant can't please everyone on. End of Story. A room that's really comfortable for me is too hot for my best friend... and it's the same temperature. True, places may err on the side of a little chilly- it's more comfortable to have a sweater/jacket/shawl/scarf to throw on than it is to have customers wanting to take clothes off.
As for music that is too loud, that is again a corporate level decision most of the time (and not the cooks in the kitchen... they probably can't hear the music in the dining room anyway).
In the same vein as what a number of people have said- if you want a quiet peaceful dinner on a Saturday night, you may want to re-think going to any place with a bar openly visible from all the tables (especially if they have a live band), like a sports pub, a BBQ place... heck, I've been to Irish-style pubs that have had fairly loud music (particularly on a weekend-night).
But, if you did go to a place that you expect to be quieter (say an upscale French restaurant) AND get that response to a request to turn music down... or they don't move your table because you're under the speaker and there's a table available to move to... then I can understand that as a complaint.
I try NOT to piss off the Chef while motoring through my favorite High End Restaurant Drive Thru... I couldn't handle receiving the wrong order.
I hate it when the waiter says they are fresh out of liver and fava beans.
the author is a piece of dog excrement – his observations are those of someone who has no knowledge of what he speaks. The expectations for "good" versus "professional" service is the prerogative of the diner – especially if you are the one picking up the dinner tab.
I am not rude to servers – but I have pulled one aside discretely and expressed my observations regarding the service – both good and bad. If my expectations as the host are not met then I request to have another server.
Of course if you are dining where they have teenagers taking your order then you need to set your expectations appropriately. There is more leverage at a destination restaurant as opposed to one of convenience.
Another way to set expectations is the number of infants in the dining room – the more infants the lower the expectations.
Things I never want to hear from a waiter :
1) Sorry, I just farted!
2) We're all out of CHEEESE DANISHES
3) Sorry about the wait. The chef is blastin a dook.
4) Don Cheadle is my favorite actor.
5) Can I be the meat in your love sandwich?
Things I enjoy hearing a waiter say:
1) Can I rub/smell your feet?
2) You look wonderful in that lime green tank top!
3) Is that your Honda outside? NICE!
4) It's on the house! Why?! Because YOU"RE AWESOME?!!
5) I hate Don Cheadle
Funny! But Cheadle is cool with me!
Hey, what 'chu got 'gainst a brotha anyhow?
A recent thing at Chili's is for the server to sit down at the table with you while taking your order. Feels weird.
Do you mean Chili's or Flinger's?
They do that at the Outback in my town. I've actually had the waiter say to me, "Scooch over a bit, hon, so I can take your order." My reply was that if you need to sit down to take my order you need to see a doctor to get vitamins. Unless you're sharing the bill, don't share my table unless invited to do so!
I've got Rutt's.....May I join You?
Howdy, Dr. Phil :)
Outbacks near us trained their servers take a seat with patrons when taking their order if it's convenient. If not, then squat. I wasn't offended; it was novel. I'm sure some consultant got paid big bux to figure out that if the server "gets down" to the patron's level, the patrons feel more comfortable. It's just more BS to try to squeeze more $$ out of customers.
Bingo!
It has happened to me at Outback. I don't care for that level of familiarity at any restaurant.
If you're waiting my table, please do not inform me that you need to take a bathroom break. It's not my business. I'd rather not know. This happened to me twice on the same day at two different restaurants.
Things I don't want to hear/experience:
1. The hostess that throws the menus on a table and passes me getting away from the table.
2. The waiter who says can I place your order for an appetizer before I have even opened the menu
3. "Can I clear that for you" when my dining companion is still eating, or just grabs the dishes.
4. Would you like to order dessert? While my dining companion is still eating.
5. Will there be anything else here, when one of us is still eating.
6. Let me get that for you, when I have told the waiter when I ordered my hamburger that I would like it served with BBQ sauce.
7. "I'm sorry for your wait, but I was unaware that anyone was at this table/there was a mixup about who had this table.
8. "let me tell you what we're out of tonight"
9. "I would bring you some bread, but we're out of bread plates".
People who want their plates cleared only after the other person at the table is done is about 30%. Most people want it taken away as soon as they are done. We all have things we like and don't like, every person is different. Servers are not mind readers. It depends if you want fine dining or casual dining. The table right next to you complained that the server didn't ask fast enough if they wanted a appetizer. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
"SLIME IN THE ICE MACHINE" x5.
Things servers get sick of....
#1, When you say you are ready to order it should not be a national debate that lasts five minutes just pick something. I could of answered your questions, but don't say your ready. I have two other tables that are ready but are looking at me because they were here first and have no idea why I am taking your order before them, but I can't say to them...sorry they asked me to take their order then they weren't ready. Right, because you don't want to hear anything negative you just want your food and for servers to just shut up.
#2, After 15 minutes of the order being rung in , you start waving your hand in the air for my attention, (because you didn't want to hear my name) only to ask were your food is. Hello, if you are that kind of a hurry, McDonald's is always open. Besides, we want you to go just as fast it's called turning tables.
#3, I understand restaurants get chilly, but do you really want the kitchen staff to sweat bullets while cooking your food? We are running around trying to get your food out so you don't wave in the air like you are the only people we have to take care of.
#4, Please don't eat 1/2 your food then send it back and want it off the bill. We all know you really got full and just didn't want anymore.
#5, Just know you can order it any way you like. The kitchen does not mind. No one will do something nasty to your food..just know it may take a few minutes longer. We want to get it right. We do not want you to have to send it back...we have other tables waiting.
I know this sounds harsh. The truth is I love waiting tables. I love the people. It is a short term relationship with someone. People love to eat. Eating out is a treat for the family, the fact you choose where I work and I get to be a part of your family time really is a neat thing. My theory is I have an hour to feed you as fast as I can and to make you feel appreciated. I don't smile at you or try to kiss your butt, most of the time people waiting tables are just the people persons. Give them a break or a tip, and I hope to see you again, have a great day! I really mean that.
You said it Amy!
There are plenty of articles about what wait staff doesn't like. I am sure you have eaten somewhere you wish you hadn't gone as well.
Servers are hard to wait on. We have a different view of what is really going on. Nothing is worse then feeling like you interrupted the servers day. Like I am a pest. We know the difference of a crappy server or a bad kitchen. I can't stand it when a server lies because they messed up or can't say a true "I am sorry" whether it was their fault or not. Servers are the go between, customers don't see the back, nor do they want to...they, (I) just want my food.
Amy, that was perfect. Especially the part about the air temp. Who asks to turn the air up anyway? How selfish can one be? Bring a sweater and stop complaining. Servers make like $3 an hour so give them a break Sean.
I hate when I'm in a restaurant and the waiter takes it upon him/herself to get into a full blown conversation with one of their loyal customers. GET THEIR PHONE NUMBER AND GIVE THEM A CALL LATER. I'm waiting half an hour for you to take my damn order, and meanwhile you're talking about Bobby's new haircut and Susan's trip to Italy. You know what I'm talking about.
I have to say, I'm one of these regulars that the entire wait and managerial staff wants to sit down and talk to. I actually don't enjoy it that much, but I have to present the persona of being a chatty people-person (said restaurant is a big supporter of a business venture I recently began).
I don't know about anyone else here but I have my own list of things I never want to hear in a restaurant.
1. I'm sorry sir, our water isn't working right now.
1a. Dinner will be a few more minutes, the cook had to go take a dump.
2. I was going to come check on you sooner but I got held up killing cockroaches in the kitchen.
3. Can I bang your wife/girlfriend?
4. Do you know where I can get some crack/coke/heroin/herpes medicine?
5. What is the capital of Kansas?
I'd be fine with the others because it happens, but if my waiter asks me what the capital of Kansas is, I'll slam the menu down on the table and storm right out of the restaurant.
I know, that sh it was funny!
The capitol of Kansas is Topeka genius.
THE CAPITOL OF KANSAS IS KANSAS CITY!!!! Why they put it in Missouri is beyond me!!!!
Disclaimer: Yes, this was meant as a joke and in no way shape or form should be taken seriously.
Waiter served my soup last night with his thumb inside the bowl. It was bandaged, looked awful. I asked why he stuck his thumb in my soup. He said because of his injury, the doctor suggested keeping it as warm as possible. I said he should try jamming it up his hole. "Where do you think it was before I got your soup?" Never want to hear that again! Ew, gross!
LOL!
Now that was funny.
You also don't want to have your waiter return to your table and say, "The chef just quit." This happened years ago to my wife and me, just after we had heard an argument in the kitchen between the chef and the owner. The restaurant permanently closed shortly thereafter.
Better than hearing, "The chef just sh!t."
I'll tell you what I hate. Servers who come to the table when the meal is finished and make remarks like "Wow, you must have really enjoyed that!" or "You must have been really hungry." I know they don't mean it as an insult, but it always makes me feel like they think I'm a glutton.
Maybe you should eat less.
Maybe you should go to h@#$
Now, now children. You can be more creative than that. Try again.
I hate that, too. "Wow, you really cleaned your plate!" What are you, my mother? Am I 3 years old? No, it's just that I skipped lunch entirely and it's now 4:00 pm, and yes, I was hungry. Go away.
All of them are pretty self explanatory. 1. server has too much time on hands, or 2. management wants them to do that.
As far as AC. I'll tell you I'll get the manager to change it, and then he'll do "something" about it. It'll still be the same temperature because you are one customer directly affecting the rest of the customers dining environment. Now if we have a few comments from different sections yes we'll do something about it. But not the one person who is overly hot natured.
The best part about the AC complaint, is that even if they changed it, the ambient temperature takes awhile to go up, especially in a large space like a restaurant. So about the time you're putting on your coat, then the temperature would be what you wanted. The only way it could make a difference is if you are seated under the vents. In that case, ask for another table.
Some of these comments reminde me of a saying I heard some time ago: "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person."
i hate this: Are you still working on that? it's FOOD / not a construction site.
Totally agree! What's wrong with, "May I take your plate (bowl, etc.)?"
Totally agree – I hate that one! I go to a restaurant to enjoy a good meal, not to "work."
My dad hates it when servers ask if he's "done." He always responds, "No, but I am finished." Wassup widat?
That was my Grandfather's pet peeve, too. "Are you done?" "Do I look dead?" (He never actually SAID that, but he thought it every time.)
Every once in a while, one of us would drop a discreet word to the waiter/waitress to be sure they would ask him instead "Have you finished?" and he would always compliment them on it. I don't know if he left an extra tip, he was a good tipper anyway. Restaurants loved him. I miss him.
Sounds like people who have problems with servers' verbiage are judgmental jerks who get off on correcting people.
Welcome to the interwebs, where it is customary to insult spelling, grammar, punctuation... just stay away from jokes about their mother or the Great Moderators in the Sky will banish your post to limbo.
I don't know where you live, but we still hear, "Hi...I'm Aaron...I'll be your waiter today." Then, they actually ask, "And your name is?" I make up a name, but then they pull the obnoxious game of overutilizing your name. (For some reason psychologists keep telling us that people like to hear their name...and to use it frequently. Wrong!) So, I hear, "How are you doing tonight, Suzanne?" "Are you having a nice day today, Suzanne?" "Suzanne, may I tell you about our specials." "Suzanne, may I get you something to drink while you are looking at the menu?" And on, and on, and on. And, Red Lobster is one of the worst places for overutilizing your name. It's too bad they only get paid $2.13 an hour...but they chose (at least for the time being) to be a waiter. If you want to get a good tip from me, don't repeat my name 20 times.
Agreed ! I often wonder if they'll also ask for my phone # ! I don't need to be that familiar with waitstaff.
I appreciate the waitstaff who introduce themselves to our table. That way, if we need something while they are waiting on another one of their tables, we can call their name or tell another attendant who is passing us when we need to ask for some favor we forgot to mention when he/she took our order. Since our eating out is a social event, we often tell the waiter to come bring our selected appetizers and return for ordering the meal. He can attend to another of his tables while we make up our minds. And I've never been let down by a waiter's response about what he would suggest. "Do you like "hot and spicy?" Well, I particularly like xxx" is a good way to answer. And yes, we school teacher servants know all about being disrespected for the choices we made for a career. So we are always friendly to the waiters and leave a tip of 20-30%, sometimes more. (Those who are so nasty about waitstaff should be forced to work in a busy, loud restaurant filled with nasty, nontippers for a week.)
I used to work at an AT&T call center and they insisted we use the customer's name at least 3 times. Creating a facade of good customer service is more important that actually providing good customer service.
Hahahaha they still make us do that! Stupid. Especially when the name is ishmahalamaski or something and I just sound like a complete idiot saying it.
Great article. Who would want a friendly server, trying to make a buck in a bad economy, to actually go out fo their way to be nice? God forbid.
And if you're going to complain about the response, maybe you shouldn't ask the server what their recommendation is. Keep in mind that THOUSANDS of other people have asked before you, and almost every single one complains about the recommendation or ignores it.
So maybe you should eat at your own house and keep your entitled CNN fancy food critic butt out of my restaurant. I guarantee that if I see your face I will follow all of your suggestions, and then afterwards you can write an article about the top five things servers do to CNN food critic's orders in the back of the house before they bring it to the table. Catch my drift?
Anyone who is unable to accept criticism is doomed to failure. You'll never actually hear these suggestions from the customers – you'll just get stiffed. Why not think about what he said without taking offense and improve your take-home pay?
Thank about it ... It's servers like you that create writers like him.
Sounds to me like just another cheap asshole who is looking for a reason not to leave a decent tip. If you dont want to leave a tip, go to Chipotle.
Agreed. I waited tables once with this dude named Matt who had a customer who came in every week and would be nasty to him. One night, Matt waylaid the hell out of that azzzhole. He never came back and did not sue. So, the lesson to all you self important SOBs that treat people like crap, remember there are plenty of "Matts" out there that will fuk you up for being nasty to them.
Wow ... My family of seven eats out every weekend, and I always leave 20-25% tips (total bill $250-300). But because of you ... we will skip at least two weeks to rethink our eating out life-style. We will carefully re-evaluate whether we have ever made any servers mad at us before we venture out to the dangerous eat-out world again.
They won't accept my pesos...sorry bastards.
Please do not say "Enjoy!"
*places Jared's order on the table in front of him*
Here you go! Hope it gives you the trots!
lol!!! and hahahaha!
Waiters say "enjoy" as a way of signaling, "I'm going to leave so you can eat now, and that we genuinely want you to enjoy your meal" English doesn't have a nifty "Bon Apetit" or "Guten Apetit" as other languages do. Yes, it sounds a little silly, but I'd love to hear a better alternative. "Chow down!" or "Dig in!" seem a little coarse to me.
This guy obviously eats out too much.
All the ladies have told me a man can never eat out too much.
Just to clear something up, he wasn't railing against the idea of a restaurant running out of food in #2. As many of you noted, that is in many ways a good thing (and it's certainly not the server's fault; their job is to *sell* the food, not conserve it). He even provided for the exception of the reasonable times when food runs low: "If it’s 9:30 on a Saturday night and the rack of lamb is flying out of the kitchen, okay: thanks for the heads up."
Sean's exact phrasing was "We have two orders of the [blank] left; if you’re thinking of that I’ll put the order in now.” In other words, if the kitchen isn't totally out of something don't mention that it's running low. That puts unnecessary pressure on the diner to order it RIGHT NOW. In that sense I have to agree that this kind of pressure feels a little sleazy-used-car-salesman to me. However, I see nothing wrong with mentioning as you hand out the menus "We're currently out of [food item]" so nobody gets their hopes up about the rack of lamb, etc.
A few things: The higher end restaurant, the higher end service...you really do tend to get what you pay for. You cant expect 5 star service in a 3star establishment..certain establishments actually train thier staff to approach a table in a specific conversational way..a way that is geared toward thier target market..you might not actually be a suitable successful target...lastly, dining out is a privelage, not a right. Sure, there will always be a less than quality server/ bartender out there but they usually weed themselves out of a job before long. For those who feel the need to express thier opinions it too is your privelage but remember, being callous or nitpicky will never get you good service.
"You cant expect 5 star service in a 3star establishment."
My husband and I have had it at restaurants like Chili's, Outback, etc. YOU CAN, it's called a GOOD, CARING, NON-LAZY server that does their job well. We have had some of the WORST service at fine dining.
Actually haven't experienced most of the things in that list, but I have run into a few oddities.
At a Texas Roadhouse, an overly-friendly, socially-awkward waiter overheard part of a conversation with a friend about a horror movie we had just seen at the cinema. He spent the next few minutes excitedly telling us about his favorites, and then proceeded to tell us he had just gotten out of jail and how nice it was to be able to spend his off days drinking and passing out on his porch, and many other details we really didn't need to know.
He ended the monologue with, "Man, I LOVE horror movies! You oughta see my tattoos!"
Very friendly guy, but wow.
Hilarious! Thanks for making my day.
These really are nit-picky. Yes, this is how you want a high-end waiter to act, but I can think of dozens of things that bother me more. Better title "89th-93rd Least Pleasant Things to Hear from a Server"
5 things I never want to hear in a restaurant:
1. Does this look infected to you?
2. I love work release!
3. Who needs hand sanitizer anyway?
4. You don't have any allergies, do you?
5. I don't think our chef's condition is contagious.
Yes, I much prefer your list! Also, "Our power was off last night but everything should be okay."
Having been a server off and on for 15 years, I mostly agree with this list. We should know what's good and have recommendations at the ready. We should also know the dishes that are running low (of course the kitchen must keep us informed) and have alternatives to suggest. Waitstaff has absolutely nothing to do with inventory, so when the kitchen runs out of your favorite dish, don't take it out on the waitstaff. I've never heard of a server telling somebody the chef likes a particular temp, but if you're uncomfortable, request to be moved. As for overly friendly waitstaff, I find this point the hardest one to guage – some folks like a "personable" server who cracks jokes, etc, while others find it off-putting. We try to "feel out" the patron to see what they are comfortable with; sometimes we hit the nail on the head, other times we can't quite find that dynamic. As a server, I try my best to keep my personal problems away from my patrons. I expect the same when I go out to eat.
The only request I have for patrons is to tell me exactly what you want and when I deliver it your table, if you've changed your mind, tell me and I will replace it, but don't tell me that I've messed up the order (for example, you ask for the chicken, I bring the chicken, you look at it and say "That's not what I ordered. I wanted steak." ). It is very frustrating for servers. We are certainly not going to argue with you, but getting indignant about it changes the whole mood. Sometimes I change my mind, too, so I understand, but don't act like it's my fault you ordered the wrong thing.
I walk every week with a friend who has dietary restrictions. We're both moms, I'm in the food business, so during our walks we exchange favourite (or not so) food experiences.
She told me that when dining out with the extended family (4 generations at the table), she researches the menu of the chosen restaurant online. She then writes down what she'd like to (and can) eat, and hands the note to the server; the note starts off with "I am on a restricted diet. This is what I'd like to order....."
She tells me that the servers' reactions have been overwhelmingly positive. When dealing with a table of 8+, some young children, this is such an easy thing for the server and the kitchen.
I understand that today, in the age of computers, some restaurants are not set up for such notes. She and I just don't frequent those establishments.
I am currently working as a server at a local brewpub after graduating with my Master's in Hospitality. Yes, I am one of those "over-educated" servers, but the difference is that I love doing it and am currently learning all aspects of a restaurant in the hopes of having mine own one day. You have to start somewhere.
I agree with this article for the most part. When I first started severing, I had made a few of these mistakes merely because the atmosphere is so casual and I really did not know what I was doing. The hospitality thing is a career change for me. I do like to say that I have improved greatly over the past few months and my tips reflect that.
Since I do work in a brewpub, I do ask the question "it depends on what you like" a lot when it comes to beer. I can not tell you how many times someone orders an IPA merely because it says Pale Ale in the name and wants to send it back because it is too bitter. I ask them what type of beer they drink and recommend a beer that they would enjoy. If they want to step outside of their box, I am more then happy giving them a sample. I love introducing people to new beers, I really dislike having to listen to someone tell me our beer is bad because it is too bitter or insert other adjective, like an IPA, and they don't understand how anyone drinks this stuff...etc....etc. IPAs just happen to be my favorite style. So yes, I drink it a lot, say at the end of every shift.
But people please remember.
Just because I am a server does not mean I am a servant. I treat all my customers with respect and would like the same extended to me.
"Master's in Hospitality?" Really?
Hospitality Management. Yep. While designing marking campaigns, strategic management plans and feasibility studies, I also got to brew beer, make wine, bake bread, cook with famous chefs (Tim Love is the man!) and eat food that I would never have been exposed to in my life. It really was one of the best decisions of my life to go into Hospitality.
If you can get a cheerleading scholarship, why not a Master's in Hospitality?
Yeah, I think she took a credibility hit opening up with that gem.
Here's one. Check it out.
http://www.hotelschool.cornell.edu/admissions/mmh/
Snobby much? Yes, you can get a Master's in Hospitality Management. It is basically similiar to an MBA, but geared towards running restaurants, resorts, large hotels, etc. By running, I'm talking upper level management or ownership, not the 20 year old assistant manager you typically run into.
Not only is it a legit masters program, colleges also offer it as a bachelor's or associate program. It's a degree aimed at people who want to go into the Hospitality industry – high-end hotels and restaurants are probably the most common. You may think that many people who work in high-end hotels and restaurants lack higher education or "only" went to cooking school, but the maitre d', concierge, and management ranks tend to have degrees in hospitality.
@Sara, @Jamie K
Thank-you!
I wasn't being snobby, I just never heard of such a thing. That's all.
Yes. Cornell, an Ivy League school, has one of the top programs in the country.
I really hope you're not "severing".
If there is going to be any "severing" around here, I'll be taking care of it.
@Skip
That would really "cut" into my tips.
@ Beernifer, ever heard of the saying 'there is a sucker born every minute'? Well, Hi Sucker!
Beernifer was taken. There are alot of stupid kids out there who buy hook, line, and sinker whatever courses colleges teach and actually believe it is legit. Now she works at a bar! When people would kill to have money to go to college to actually DO something useful, we have idiots like you who get a master's in 'HOSPITALITY'. Unfreakinbelievable.
I really do not understand your hostility towards me. Granted the internet gives people a sense of anonymity and thus they feel that they can belittle and bully other people. It is a sad way to make yourself feel better.
I know, what gives? I asked a simple question and people took it as a cue to be ugly. Was not my intention, my apologies. I just never heard of a "Master's in Hospitality" before.
And what is your degree in????? Belittling? Sarcasm? Jealousy? Bullying? Get a life and leave others alone! You sound like a snotty brat!
Dana just hasn't been laid in months and flunked out of college. Don't pay her any attention. The rest of us are behind you.
@Plato
No worries. I had no idea that I could do this for a living till I had been in the "real" world for 6 yeas after college and needed to change my life. I couldn't cut it in "corporate" America, but I am loving and doing well in small business and local America.
Good luck with what paths life takes you on!
Why thank you, neighbor. The same wishes are extended to you.
Your really off base. I make 6 figures after starting out as a bar back 30 years ago. I run a private Country Club...having weddings, balls amd misc. other functions along with daily dining. I have run high food and beverage in wonderful hotels. Being in this business has allowed me a wonderful life. I have met heads of state, seen Presidents and met stars. If one does what is expected them they will get what is deserved. I have found a few bad seeds in the service industry on both sides of the bar. I am lucky that my time with them does not last long and they will move on down the road and I will have a good story to tell. This person has a chip on thier shoulder.
Cornell is the foremost hotel school in the world, thank you very much.
so what all you people think, stupids?
I worked as head waiter at a high end, specialty restaurant for 10 years. In that time I'd seen and heard it all from demanding, irrational, entitled customers. For a long time I actually enjoyed my job, and mostly felt satisfaction when a client would approach me on their way out to say how much they loved their meal, and the service they received. I was always flattered by the many repeat clients that always requested my table or section. As lead waiter on the floor I was given the opportunity to serve the many celebrities that would visit our city, and at times they would request me when they returned, as I never fawned over them, called them by name or treated them special. Andy Warhol and Liza Minnelli got the same service Mrs. Jones or Mr. Smith got ( although, it was a challenge keeping other customers away from their tables). I prided myself in trying to treat everyone as a guest, and to treat EVERYONE equally.
On the other hand.................. the clients who felt they were doing us a service by visiting our restaurant, we could have done without them. Rudeness, boorish behavior, drunks, and screaming children were just a small part of my time as a waiter. I won't name names or go into any specifics, but after ten years of dealing with idiots, I left the service industry and never looked back. I could never do the job again and always am patient and understanding when I dine out. Niceness and understanding go a long way when interacting with someone who's been on their feet 12 to14 hours per day.................. I always try to let a waiter know, "don't worry, we're in this together".
azzclown you are a snob! waitressing is hard job and your name says it all about who you really are as a person! many waitresses/waiters are parents, teachers, colleges kids just making an honest living and YES you can make a lot of money doing it depending on the restaurant. not all waitress/waiters are druged up losers as you seem to be.
@ Fembot: So where do you work? I'll go for the face-punch so I can get the lawsuit going.
Now I know why I live in the hinterlands. I've never heard any of those warning signs here. Sometimes the food's not that great, but nobody makes silly excuses for it.
First of all you obviously have never worked at a restaurant... wait let me word that differently... you havent worked in a restaurant that wasnt located inside a culinary school that had a really good job placement program that maybe landed you in an actual restaurant that was doomed from the beginning for hiring culinary students... From somebody who has spent the better part of their life working in kitchens, bars, and dining rooms... heres the top five things you dont want to hear...
1-im sorry, the kitchens out smoking, its going to be a minute
2-(heard from a distance) TEN SECOND RULE!!!
3-really, thats not medium rare enough for you, let me grab the chart, ill be right back...
4-give me a second ill take that back and have it taken care of for you (only when followed by a smile)... (and then only if when its brought back with other employees as spectators)
5-theres a contest tonight, you guys should try the whitefish... (means nobody should every try that whitefish... ever... unless its sunday... chowder day)
as to this jackasses top five:
1-depends on what you like, sometimes some dumbass who doesnt know what they like asks a server how they would recommend the filet... and hey dumbass, it depends on how you would like it. They dont know if you like bloody or burnt...
2-if a server tells you theres only 2 orders of something left, dont order it, it means they are trying to sell out... for a reason... and its not like they can run down to the local party store to buy more rack of lamb and stock up...and still make food cost.
3-REALLY... they should just say, would you like hot or cold food... cause the kitchen is a bit cluster^$%&ey right now and if i were you i would take what you can get when you can get it...
4-My specialty considering i usually am the chef... usually were cooped up in the hot kitchen... please note i said hot kitchen, because we arent given the option of im sorry its a touch warm tho... could you possibly turn the heat down a smidge and bring me a sandwich... wait thats right... you cant... cause i work in a hot kitchen and i make the damn sandwiches... music... heat... its only ever on one setting. If somebody complains you lie to them and tell them you had the manager change it, in their head temperature and volume adjusts... and if its still to warm or cold you tell them theyre changing it again... better tips and less anger... nobody would blame that on the chef... the 2 minute salad that takes an hour because they forgot to ring it in yes, but not that...
5-hmmm... what are we doing here... thats all... because if a server says something like that... they wont be your server for long... thats all... if it comes down to that being said, obviously the waitstaff has lost hope and realizes that the customer is a lost cause and the server knows it... this pains me to stick up for the FOH like this being a primarilly BOH man... but oh well... by the way dont bother replying if you dont know what FOH and BOH are, cause this is a FOHBOH conversation... so GTFO!!!!!!
p.s. didnt i see that same picture on lifestyles of the rich and famous like 16 years ago, i guess you answer the question what ever happened to that guy... FO!
Absolutely. You're told there is only two orders left of something then DO NOT ORDER THAT!
ast for the snot snamich!lol!
Amen on number 4. Everyone has their own opinion on the perfect temperature. It might be too cold for you, but if we change the temperature, the guy the next table over is going to start complaining that he's too hot. You also get really sweaty servers who are dripping sweat into your food. You can't please everyone. If you tend to be cold, bring a sweater! The temperature of the restaurant is not set for the cooks comfort. It's usually hotter than Hades in the kitchen. I worked in a sports bar that was next door to a hotel for awhile. We'd have a game on pretty loud and you'd always get at least one little old lady from the hotel that would come in for dinner, complain that the tvs were too loud, and so on. Well, the tv volume is turned up because all the guys that are regulars because they actually live in the area want to be able to hear the game. If you don't want to lsiten to a game, don't go into a sports bar for dinner. Go to Denny's or Perkins or somewhere else that plays elevator music.
You got to love it when some crybaby server or ex-server comments on an article like this and states how hard it is to be a server and how the customers don't get how hard it is. Here's a lesson to you and all the other crybaby servers out there – the people who you serve work also. And sometimes they're on their feet all day and are tired and hungry when they come in. You're supposed to be professional and accept that!! Unless someone is just being plain abusive then don't expect the customer to have to meet your needs and make you happy. You have to meet their needs and make the customer happy. If a server can't handle this then they should simply another, more appropriate line of work.
We actually had a waitress who, after asking us if we liked our soup, and us saying it was wonderful and how much we liked it, started on a tirade about how she heard everyone liked it, but she hated it. Then then went on to tell us exactly WHY she hated it, in grueling detail.
Please, please do not criticize the food I am eating, especially if I just said I liked it. Smile, say something like, "I am glad you are enjoying it!" and move on to another customer. I would like to return to the conversation I am having with my fellow diners, and I don't want to hear about how bad something it that I am attempting to put in my mouth.
I now understand why large restaurants are losing business and people are opting to eat at home regardless of their inability to cook. When the people serving have attitudes like what is on display here I can only imagine the type of juvenile behavior that takes place in the establishments represented by the “employees” on this forum. I am by no means one of the privileged but I do know that working in the service industry you get dumped on. Yes it sucks but your job is to serve and if you care at all about your craft or the organization you work for you would take note of what the man said and try to improve. Telling people to not come to “your” restaurant, stay home, take out … et al is foolish because it provides for your wages. If I were the owner of a restaurant the response from my labor pool would have me wanting to drink myself to sleep. But what do I know I’m just a middle class guy who is grateful to have a job and gives a crap about what he does. How stupid of me to assume that in the midst of a recession people would care about having a job.
Eminently sensible. Well said.
Thank you, Edward. When you are a server, you are a servant! If you don't like to serve, do something else. I am like Edward. I am just thankful that I am gainfully employed. I go to work; and even my boss once says, "You don't complain, don't you?"
grandpaof4: I served from age 16 to 24. Worked my way through college. I DO respect you for having a job, but you should also respect your server for having a job as well. You say a server is a servant? Really? When I signed up to be a server I agreed to serve people quickly with a smile. I know that it is my job to put guests orders in properly and make sure their drinks are always full. I knew my tips reflected this service. In no way, shape, or form did I agree to wait on someone hand and foot. In no way did I have to take verbal abuse from any guest. I was never disrespectful to a guest until they were disrespectful to me. You say you do what your boss tells you to do. So did I! The customer was NOT my boss, so please don't act like you are! If you have a problem that is above your servers capabilities, then take it up with their boss. Don't yell at your server if your steak came out overcooked! Chances are it was the cooks fault. Most servers can't see through steaks to know that they are serving you one at the wrong temperature. If you aren't rude with your server about the mix up, usually they feel terrible and get it taken care of right away. Maybe even give you a discount for the trouble. If you are rude with your server, chances are he/she will do next to nothing for you. They won't put it on a rush and they might consider spitting in your next refill. I'm not rude to ANYONE who is respectful to me. I'm not rude to the guys that wash my car, or the bagger at the store, or the cashier at McDonalds. There is really no use being mean to people just because you're having a bad day. You don't have to be an ex-server to be nice to people in the service industry.
Oh how I would like to have a different job. I get plenty of interviews but I go against 200-300 resumes every time I submit. If I am chosen for an interview for a job that requires 3-5 years of experience, I go against people who have 5-7 and 6-8 years of experience because they're coming down a level or two because they can't find jobs either. Don't assume I am a server because I "can't do anything else". I am a server because I was taught that if you can work, you need to work. That means no unemployment from the government. I also make a lot more than I would answering phones for a temp agency. I still need to pay my bills and if this is what makes that happen, then this is what I'm going to do.
What I don't want to hear in a restaurant: People yelling across the table as if the table is 100 feet long. This goes for you, Oakland.
Seriously, all the waiters and waitresses have come out of the woodwork here. Give a flunky steakhouse or diner food server a computer and they think they are equals of everyone else in all things. Get this through your thick heads – you waiters and waitresses are servers, and that is your chosen job. Get over yourselves and quit your whining.
Sheesh – bricklayers and carpet layers have more skill than you servers. Deal with it. Your pay does not lie.
Servers 'think' they are equals in everything else? Are you implying that servers and wait staff are less human than you are? That they deserve less respect? Really? As far as serving being a 'chosen job', many (especially in today's economy) do it because they have very little options. You think every person who works in a restaurant does so because they want to? I have news for you, some of these people are just trying to get by and provide for themselves and their families! You want to know why so many servers are angry about articles like this? I'll tell you; it's because they come home from a long, exhausting day of work, in which they have most likely been treated with very little respect, and then read articles from entitled jerks like this. Go work at a restaurant for a while and you tell me that it takes no skill and deserves pay that is substantially less than the minimum wage in this country.
Thank you.
I serve in a high end restaurant and i am pretty sure I make more money then you. FYI don't piss off the person serving your food.
"Sheesh – bricklayers and carpet layers have more skill than you servers. Deal with it. Your pay does not lie."
Yeah, going home with $400 in cash after a 5 hour shift sure sucks. My pay does not lie.
Haha! I know, right? Laughing all the way to the bank, my friend!
I agree. These articles are pathetic. Get me my D*** food and shut up! I will treat you with respect but don't act like a diva. Do your job and shut up.
I have some carpet that shows that carpet layers may not be so skilled as you believe. Let's see: carpet edges frayed out next to the wall , major wrinkles across room, terazzo shattered along the carpet edge next to bathroom and kitchen. I found out that a companies can hire day laborers who don't know anything to help the one person who has an idea of what needs to be done.
#3- Most Asian restaurants serve food as they are ready, also most small plate restaurants. Anywhere that food is shared you should expect it to come out as ready.
#4- Ever think that maybe you are the only one who has a problem with the temperature or music level? Maybe your under a speaker or vent. Ask for a new table instead of demanding that every employee and guest come to your comfort level. Or maybe your just too old! Old people are never happy with the temperature, music level, music type, food, and the coffee will never EVER be hot enough! Judging by your picture you are old!
Not every restaurant is a Michelin rated 4 star place. Take it for what it is or go away. Besides, who are you to tell people what to like or not like. Some people like sharing their pictures with the wait staff. Some people like to know time is running out on the specials. Not everyone cries and moans when they go out, like you do. Ever think that the staff of these place you are complaining about don't want you either? Just stay home!!!!
JUSTIN: Thank you very much for your intelligent(?) observations of OLD people. Perhaps you would just like all of us to pass away so you might inherit some MONEY??? So JUSTIN, how old are your parents??? Or, are they just working on getting there??? Let us all know your opinions when your folks get old – and please be sure to tell them too!!
That would be so great if they could just die! I assume your old too. You can die along with the rest. Be sure to leave me your money. My parents are dead. They were smart, they died before they could become old, hateful, and bitter. You should try it!
@ Pete
Sounds like Dick's last resort.
Really not getting some of the comments here.
As far as running out of things goes. Yes, it is very frustrating when you hear a restaurant has run out of a knowingly popular dish. Its Saturday night....you know chicken/shrimp/steak sells well. Why wouldn't you be prepared for that? And trust me. I've worked in restaurants before. I've done my fair share of running out to the store because we ran out of ketchup, mustard, lettuce, tomatos, cukes, and things like that. But a mainstay food like steak/shrimp/chicken? Those things should be planned for. I recall once going to a BBQ joint to find that they ran out of not only ribs, but chicken as well.....at 5PM. Little early to be running out of food. If someplace runs out at say 10-11 pm..its a little more understandable than early afternoon.
As far as music/heating....don't like it, get to go.
YES having a super nosey waiter/waitress is rude. No I don't expect to be catered to. But I do expect you to mind your own business. If my conversation stops when you come to the table, you don't havea r ight to pester me about it. If I want to include you. I will. Hearing things from waitstaff such as "Oh depends on what you like" or "We'll bring out food as its ready" isn't what I want to hear either. There's no reason an order put in can't be done around the same time. AND there's no reason someone can't say "Well the chicken/shrimp/fish is exceptionally tasty" who knows, it might make me sway off of my normal foods and try something new/different.
While I don't expect to be waited on hand and foot, I do expect my drink be filled in a reasonable amount of time, I expect my food at lest warm...not cold. I expect condimdents to be offered, or brought out on my request. And I expect manners be used...particularly if I'm using them at you (and, i personally do). Courtsey goes a long way, gives a bigger tip and makes me want to not only come back.....but try to get a set waiter/weaitress when I DO come back.
I went to Subway once and they had run out of bread. Seriously.
If you get your food on a local farm basis then running to the store to get food may not be an option; not every place is the local burger joint or family dining restaurant. Sometimes you get a lot more people than you expect because something was going on that you didn't know about; I recall running out of things frequently because of unexpectedly high turn out or high interest compared to the average. Storage space is limited often times and food does go bad if you keep it too long, sorry but that is the way it is.
I agree with not wanting to hear screaming kids in a restaurant (or anywhere else for that matter). Also, I hate it when a waiter stows his order book down the back of his pants into his underwear. EEEWWWW! I've seen this occur in every class of restaurant.
We probably average eating out three hundred days per year. We have our favorite restaurants and we know the staff and they know us! We get excellent service, have good rapport with the managers and feel free to discuss an issue when and if it occurs. We have discovered that what most customers don't know or don't care about is: servers only receive $2.15 per hour from the restaurant as salary. Therefore, tips are the main source of income for the servers!
Restaurants are required to make up the difference between tips and minimum wage if the tips do not bring the waitstaff up to that level. That is one reason waitstaff are required to report tips.
I have a modest livelihood, but occasionally eat out, nothing fancy, just not at the fast food places. My daughter and I have always said if you do not enough money to give the wait staff a 20% tip, you need to eat at home.
Exception to the rule: Generally, the more rude the service at a Chinese place, the better the food. You know you're in heaven when they charge you for rice. If you semi-shout at me in questionable English, I will hold your kitchen to a higher standard, if you're nice, I wonder why you don't have a Panda Express sign out front.
I've heard stories of patron's choking in Chinese restaurants, and the maitre'd is thoughtful enough to hand them a bill for the food that almost killed them as they're being checked by parametics. I dunno if it's true or just an urban legend, but it cracks me up every time.
We have a Chinese restaurant where the more the couple that owns it fight, the hotter and better the food is. Often locals pop their head in, listen for yelling in the kitchen, and stay or leave depending on what they hear.
Um, most chain restaurants (ie: American) have their AC regulated by corporate and cannot be modified by the serving OR management staff. No lie. Bob Evan's works like this. So do other industries like Menard's. It's a way of streamlining their expectation of heating/cooling costs.
Also, what kind of idiot would believe that they would immediately benefit from their request for the AC to be toned down or turned up a bit? Restaurants are usually larger structures than many houses. Plus, a sensor is almost always in the kitchen.
"Why is there mayonaise in my vegetable soup?"
"That ain't mayonaise."
Easy way to please all in 2 words: Take Out
You clearly don't or haven't worked in a restaurant and when you do eat out you're probably at some chain expecting some douche to kiss your ass and and cater to every ridiculous request you have while you enjoy eating sysco slop.
You need to spend a day working in the industry to understand how things work. You need to get off your high horse and step back to reality. You obviously are one of those customers that servers like myself dread waiting on. You are not royalty so therefore you wont be treated like so. Servers are not there at work to be treated like crap. Remember, never be mean to people that serve your food. People like you are talked about in the kitchen and management doesnt even like you. Do us all a huge favor and stay at home at eat!
Diane, I think you are in the wrong industry. I don't think anything that Sean said is rude or unneccessarily demeaining towards the waiters. But don't forget that you are there to serve the client. Period. I guess people like you are the reason for so many bankrupted restaurants around.
I've waited tables and worked in kitchens, and there certainly is such a thing as good service. There is such a thing as a professional waiter or waitress. All five things above are marks of being unprofessional. When I am in a restaurant, I expect appropriate professionalism from the wait staff, just as they should expect appropriate politeness from me; it is a business relationship, a professional relationship, and there are standards of behavior to be expected from both sides.
I completely agree. I think the writer is simply pointing out signs of unprofessionalism in a restaurant, which can make for an unpleasant experience. Well put.
Diane, you need a serious attitude adjustment. You behave as some arrogant doctors do. I pay YOUR paycheck buddy. Without customers, you would be homeless fighting for a chicken bone with a stray dog in an alley. Leave the attitude home and get a hold of yourself. We will eat anywhere, at any time, for any reason. Screw you for telling someone to stay home. Nothing irks me more than that. Do your dang job right loser.
The comments posted here are really amusing me. Why in the world would you get upset when someone is just answering the questions posed to him? I agree with some of his thoughts and disagree with others, but I'm quite interested in the musings of people in the professional "food world." Also, if you finished the interview, you will notice that tomorrow he is speaking on the things he LOVES about restaurants/wait staff. Might that make all you crabby responders a bit more happy?
I'm not sure how finding fault with some things a waitperson does makes one an elitist jerk. Instead I would think treating that group as professionals who can greatly enhance a dining experience would lend credibility to a job that so many think of as a stepping stone or a last resort.
And before you respond to this, I personally don't think that; my husband has been a waiter at a very nice restaurant for all of our married life and takes great pride in his career. He provides well for our family and can spend quality time with our children. He works hard at what he does, and when I read him this list, he completely agreed with everything on it.
When I was a chef I felt very protective of my waitstaff. They are vastly underpaid and most were trying to work through college. They were seldom tipped properly and a few were trying to raise children. Some waitresses couldn't even afford to eat at the restaurant itself. So yeah, when an arrogant jerkoff like this pudwhacker comes in and is a complete douche to my waitstaff, it gets you a little hot under the collar. Any chef would feel the same way. They don't get paid enough to deal with this.
It's not that he was saying "boy, this type of behavior makes me feel a little sad..." The title of the piece is called "5 things you never want hear in a restaurant". His statements are as unrealistic as someone saying "Boy, when I go to the bank, there shouldn't be any lines!" or someone saying "God, why don't they just stack buses end to end so I neve have to wait!". It's not that hes stating his opinions, it's that his opinions are asinine.
No, Kalvertiel, it isn't the same. I don't expect the teller to ask me personal questions about my family unless I am a very regular customer. I expect the bank tellers to be professional and polite, and provide me with the service I request. The same professionalism is reasonable from waitstaff at a restaurant. It is one thing to be a "regular" at an establishment, and thus be more familiar; it is another to have some waiter plop themselves next to you and start telling you their life story when you have never laid eyes on them before. It is becoming increasingly common for restaurants to undertrain waitstaff, instead of creating a professional staff to provide service to their customers. This leads to a breakdown in the professional relationship- opening up waitstaff to increasingly rude behavior from customers, and few tools to deal with it.
Ka-Ching!!!
You could not have said it better!!!
Thank you.
Well said.
I never said anything about the teller plopping next to you and telling you his/her life story. I said that from the perspective of the food industry, this guys critique is hyperbolic. If you get that type of waiter and waitress EVERY time you dine out, you are going to the wrong restaurants. Believe me, a good restaurant wouldn't tolerate that type of behavior. But, to lump ALL waitstaff under that umbrella is sheer madness. I said in an earlier post, I have had objectionable service perhaps 5 of 100 times dining out, and I dine out frequently. I was simply putting the madness is a different light.
Well I'm not sure if Perkins qualifies as a restaurant on this august forum – but one other thing you hate to hear is the sound of roaring, HOWLING retching coming from the restroom. I mean, loud enough to fill the waiting area and half the dining room.
Rather unfortunate.
First off, CNN, I hope you read all the comments posted below mine, as well as the multitude that im sure will be posted after I write. I am a hardcore CNN fan, and have lots of respect for your reporting, and as such hope you never let this elitist jerk write another piece for your corporation. We in restaurants work hard and for only $2.13 an hour, and half the time we dont get even 15% tips. And then on top of that, we have to deal with people like this, who come in already with a negative attitude. When you go into a restaurant, the menu is there. At a place like Red Lobster, if it wasnt good, it would be on the menu, so dont ask for a recommendation. You are old enough that you should know what you like and what you dont, and the person serving you shouldnt have to point out things that are in front of you, in the MENU.
As for the running out of things, do you expect a restaurant to prep an infinite number of everything, everyday? Can you imagine the waste at the end of the night, every night? That is just not logical. And you cant go into a restaurant right before close and not expext some things to be running low. If you can exactly predict daily guest count, then your a genious, because even with keeping previous days guest counts in the computer for years, its still hit or miss on how many decide to eat at your restaurant that day. Also, why would it be the servers fault that they run out of stuff? Do you really think he or she comes to your table, takes your drink order, then goes back to the kitchen and breads shrimp while he waits for you to order? No. Hes a SERVER, not a cook, not a dish guy, he waits on you and brings things to you, but its not a one man operation.
In terms of the music and A/C, unless you know of a restaurant that has individual heating/cooling units for booths and tables, we cant accommodate everyone. Someone likes you walks in and thinks we should change it to exactly how you want it, well sure, if your the only customer, but there are usually at least a hundred at a time in most restaurants. Are you really that ignorant to think we can fit everyones different needs, all at the same time?
And to your last point. You dont want the overly familiar waiter, yet you dont want a talkative waiter either? Are you an idiot? Obviously you think those that are waiting on you are uneducated idiots, so why is "Hi, im Mitch, what could I get you to drink?" a bad thing. You may be an elitist and think your high class, but the server may be a down to earth good person, and thinks, correctly might I add, that your a rude arschloch. And if a female server joins in the conversation you think she should be a stripper? How you made it this far in life without getting a well deserved whoopin is beyond me...
CNN, love ya, and you will always be my number one source of news, but come on already, cut your losses and never let this guy write for you again.
You love CNN? A hardcore fan?
I already seriously question your intelligence.
Funny you say that, pretty much saying since I like CNN over other news outlets I am an idiot. Weird that your writing that on a post I made on a CNN story. Pretty much calling people who read CNN dumb, while you read a story posted on CNN... not sure how you dont find this a little odd.
I'm sorry, I wasn't clear. Yes, I skim CNN, with about 30 other sites (part of my research job). I didn't realize that reading and replying on the site would imply that I adore CNN. Let me try this again: I think choosing CNN as your very favorite source of news is a bit limiting. I'm not sure your reply didn't add credence to my supposition.
Sorry, that was supposed to be from me (nokidding), but my daughter was still logged in under her name.
OK sure you have a "research job" thst requires you to read CNN. Thanks for your contribution to society.
Red Lobster Employee you are completely correct .... a very well written post :)
I have never worked in a restaurant. Nope. Only been served. I am a lower/middle class sort that loves good people waiting on me. I have had great food in bad settings and bad food in great settings and the variety of service that comes along with it.
Wow! How does one tip properly for these three (3) challenges? I am no expert, for certain. What I do, though, is always tip at at least 10% if the meal was acceptable, or the ambiance was wonderful, or the service was great. Then I also ask to speak to the manager to explain what might be improved for my hard earned dollars.
If everything was perfect, I tip 30-50%, because I go out for a total enjoyment.
This may not be the ultimate answer, yet it works for me. What do you folks think? (Nicely, please).
Typical tipping in the US is 15%.
Tipping is seriously OVERRATED in this country. In some countries, it is considered an INSULT to tip them. Why? Because they are not arrogant pricks who think that doing their JOB makes them somehow special. I do my job too and do I get a tip? NO! A person should never feel forced to tip. That is why its called GRATUITY dummies.
As a server, I would say that your practices seems pretty fair. Just remember that the server is the only one affected by your tip and so long as you are not under-tipping (10%) the server for things they have no control over (like food quality) you are doing fine. Just to be clear though, if you have a problem with your food and the server doesn't show any willingness to try and resolve your issue, you are in the right by adjusting your tip down to reflect the poor service. The server may not be able to fix the problem, but at the very least they should convey to you that they care and explain why they are unable to do so.
He doesn't need to know our names, because he just snaps his fingers when he needs something.
I'd snap that mother fs face if he snapped his fingers at me.
so, here's the thing. if you're going to restaurants like red lobster, then the rules such as those in this article don't seem as relevant or applicable. for me, i expect a level of service equivalent to the overall quality of the restaurant. the suggestions made in this article are not intended for a bob evans, chili's or denny's dining experience but rather for something a little more upscale. that's like walking into a walmart and expecting concierge service.
Yup, that pretty much sums it up.
If you want CNN to take your comment seriously, perhaps you should proofread your article for spelling and grammatical errors, and learn how to use apostrophes.
It's really unprofessional to identify yourself as an employee of a specific restaurant while berating someone else. The article is the opinion of the writer. There's no need to get nasty. You never know, his next article about the signs of a good restaurant may have you agreeing with him.
Red Lobster: Our extended family have dinner a couple of weeks ago at our Clearwater Red Lobster. We had great service with very friendly personnel. The atress who helped us was professional, introducing herself and answering our questions. She left the lable to give us time to make our choices and then went from chair to chair taking the orders–which she brought to the correct people. We know how to treat wait staff. Obviously some writers do not. (Remember that book "The Ugly American". It seems that many Americans still fit into that mold.)
Oops, my keyboard is in need of new batteries and is leaving out letters. Waitress, I noted, was mispelled. There might be more errors.
Yeah I agree with everyone here, dude you're an idiot.
Unless you're going somewhere really nice, dropping $50-$100+ per person, in which case you are paying for an 'experience' and rightly deserve a whole other set of expectations, 'eating out', from fast food to diner to casual dining to upscale casual all follows the same script, and you know you know it because we all do it 200+ x's a year: ORDER, EAT, PAY, LEAVE.
AND ORDER DIRECTLY OFF THE MENU, +/- 1 or 2 modifications. More than that, guess what? YOU DON'T WANT THAT. AND NO, DON'T ASK WHAT'S GOOD. THAT'S WHY THERE'S A MENU. YOU PICK. WITHOUT HELP. AS A POSTER ABOVE NOTED, A GOOD KITCHEN DOES EVERYTHING CONSISTENTLY...
DON'T KEEP DRINKING YOUR DRINK LIKE A PIG. MORE THAN 2-3 REFILLS, WTF...
WE'LL TRY TO SERVE YOUR APPETIZER AND SLADS FIRST, BUT THIS AIN'T A DINING 'EXPERIENCE'. YOU GONNA GET IT WHEN IT COMES, JACK.
AGAIN, KUDOS TO POSTER WHO ALREADY POINTED OUT: YOU DON'T LIKE THE AMBIENCE?? THEN DON'T F-ING EAT HERE!
DON'T LIKE SOCIAL SERVERS? GET OVER IT, THEY TRAIN US TO BE THAT WAY. YOU REALLY THINK WE WANNA TALK TO YOU? GUESS AGAIN.
TIP WELL. THANK YOUR SERVER FOR SERVING YOU. THIS IS CALLED MANNERS AND YES, THIS IS HOW IT GOES IN OUR CULTURE. DON'T LIKE IT? THEN DON'T EAT OUT.
IF YOU WANT SOMETHING 'YOUR WAY', GO HOME AND FIX IT YOURSELF.
WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT EVERYONE WITH YOUR CAPITAL LETTERS???????
Please tell us where you work so we can avoid it like the plague. Here is the only tip you'd get from me with your attitude:
go back on your meds and loose the tude dude or go back to being that beggar at the red light.
@ Pete
"tip well" I tip per service rendered. You get what i feel you deserve for what you did for me. Its gratuity, not a guarantee. Be a good server get a good tip, same goes for opposite.
You suggest "if you dont like the service/atmosphere/blah blah blah, then don't eat out/here"
I suggest "if you dont want to serve people, get the f–k out of the service industry"
I worked as a waiter for over 10 years even during my grad school
and I don't want you to wait on me or come closed to me , you are a snob arrogant and you are type of waiters that make the guests feel like you are doing them a favor.
What an uppity piece of crap this author is. As a former sous-chef at a restaurant, i can tell you that this kind of arrogant attitude is definitely picked up on by the serving staff. And that garners a definite poor effort on mine and the other chef's part. Why should I go the extra mile for an unappreciative douche? This author is the reason that it should be a law for everyone to work in the food service business for at least a year.
Why is expecting a professional relationship to be professional considered "uppity"? When I deal with someone in a professional capacity, I expect them to be professional. This includes waitstaff in a restaurant. They should also expect professional behavior from me. There are too many people on both sides of the menu who seem completely oblivious to what "professional" means.
Wow. Having worked in the restaurant industry for nearly 20 years, in all sorts of different joints (from neighborhood bars to white linen joints), I can easily refute all 5 of his points. Don't get me wrong, there are situations in which his complaints are viable, but in the broad spectrum, he is way off base!
Point 1:I wish I had a dollar for every time I recommended something that was absolutely extraordinary and the guest says something along the line of "What?!!! Raw beef?!! No thank you!!!" Asking a guest what they prefer is a great way to cut the wheat from the chaff as far as figuring out what type of guest you are dealing with...
Point 2: Um, running out of food is a good thing! It (when dealing with a reputable restaurant) is a sure sign of freshness! It isn't the executive chef's fault if for some reason everyone seems to be ordering the veal chops that night. Restaurants run out of stuff, if a waiter forewarns me, that is a bonus!
Point 3: A restaurant would have to hire a full time knob adjuster if the management listened to every human being that asked for either he music or temperature to be changed. You know what? Managers are quite good at keeping everything at a perfect medium. Maybe you shouldn't go to a rowdy sports bar on a saturday night if you want something cozy. Yea, that's your fault dude.
Point 5: This is one I actually agree with. Kind of. Yea, overly ambitious waiters are the bane of any diner. But, isn't that better than the non-existent and or robot waiter? And really, how many over the top waiters are there really? I dine out often, and I can say without exaggeration that I really don't like my server (according to your examples) maybe 5 out of 100 experiences.
To wrap this up. Sean Elder, I think you and your chilly wife would be more comfortable dining at home. It's more cost efficient, more climate adjustable, more music preferential and best of all, you don't have to worry about running out of things! As far as the rest of the world is concerned, Here are 5 things you truly never want to hear from a restaurant-
1: "What health inspection?"
2: "Sorry we're closed for the night. We have a lot of blood to mop up."
3: "Yea the fish is fresh, we got it in last week!"
4: "All you can eat pea soup!"
5: "Sure, we can make more sauce, I just need to find the can opener..."
Re: Point 2
Just to clear something up, he wasn't railing against the idea of a restaurant running out of food. As you noted, that is in many ways a good thing. He even provided for the exception of the reasonable times when food runs low: "If it’s 9:30 on a Saturday night and the rack of lamb is flying out of the kitchen, okay: thanks for the heads up."
Sean's exact point was "We have two orders of the [blank] left; if you’re thinking of that I’ll put the order in now.” In other words, if the kitchen isn't totally out of something don't mention that it's running low. That puts unnecessary pressure on the diner to order it RIGHT NOW. However, I see nothing wrong with mentioning as you hand out the menus "We're currently out of " so nobody gets their hopes up.
We have big birthday parties at Texas Cattle Company. Since I like their kabobs which being freshly prepared run out early, the waitperson always asks me as we are seated if that is what I want that night. The order is put in immediately and then everything else is completed. At another restaurant, that last available serving of lamb was huge and especially delicious.
Well, shadow,
My intention was to express that if a waiter were to give me a heads up about an awesome entree that was soon to be gone from this world, I would appreciate the heads up. It's no different in my world-wine. When I have an amazing bottle and only one left, I give my guests the chance. and in addition, it gives me the opportunity to say "well, I tried..." when it is no longer available. Never is this point an inconvenience, it's customer service...
That was supposed to be "We're currently out of [food item]".
html syntax fail.
I can't imagine that the author has ever worked in a restaurant? The lack of experience and knowledge from a "behind the scenes" prospective is amazing.
Having been in the industry for most of adult life I am shocked by the trite and poorly developed point's he makes?
I can certainly sympathize that he is not comfortable with the "overly familiar" waitperson but the rest of the article is ridiculous... There are standards of service for different styles or restaurant and the context is not clear but this guy is a jackass...
As for the turn the heat/ac/music – up/down... What about the other people in the dining room? Unless there is clearly an extreme variance these variables cannot be catered to each diner but instead must be adapted to the gneral feel of the room and ALL the diners...
This guy should eat at home... ALWAYS!!!
I don't want to hear the chef just puked on my salad
"Who urinated in the soup?"
To all you "professional" waiters and waitresses: any job that can be mastered by a 16 year-old in three hours is no profession.
@ Will...
If I met your mother, I'd slap the stupid out of her for ever having conceived you.
Just curious Will... What do you do for a living?
Um, dude. If you're dining in restaurants that employ 16 year old kids as waiters, you aren't eating in restaurants anywhere NEAR the caliber we're talking about. I'd recommend you stay out of this discussion...
Wow, I bet you feel so smug! I'm not a waitress, but I worked my way through college that way, and no, it cannot be mastered in three hours by a kid. There's a fine art to multi-tasking through frustrating situations at top speed while keeping a smile and an eye on everything. That being said, there's no excuse for poor service, and if the waitstaff just doesn't care, I will not tip.
Will,
If you think you can master the art of food service, especially in high-end restaurants, in three hours, please be my guest. I'm guessing if you work in a typical higher end turn and burn that you will be on your ass within five minutes. The point of sale computer system that you will need to learn will confuse the hell out of you. Are you a sommelier? If not expect to take quite some time to learn the 200 plus bottles of wine averaged in those restaurants. Keep in mind the easy part, learning 100-400 continually changing menu items.
The problem, Will, is that the job ISN'T mastered by 16-year-olds in 3 hours. Increasingly, the waitstaff in restaurants is not professional at all, and thus make the unprofessional mistakes listed above. Similarly, many patrons of restaurant no longer understand their end of the professional relationship- patrons should be polite and clear in communicating their needs.
If that's the case why are all the 16 yo's working in fast food. You know nothing about this industry. Go to hill!
The 16 year old sons of some private restaurant owners are some of the best waiters I have seen. Some are also going to college to become professional chefs, others to get degrees in hospitality (restaurant/hotel) management. They are going to be successful in what they do.
You think I'm going to listen to you whine about crap like this while I'm making $2.13 an hour? I'll gladly ignore your elitist ass and serve the nice people at table 21. Then, just to make sure you don't ever come back, I'll make you wait 30 minutes before I run your Discover card.
Pull that shit and I will never tip you.
It will be worth it tough guy.
i think thats what hes going for big guy. weeding out the asses
You'll be eating somewhere else?!! Hooray!!
p.s. I would gladly take a tip of $0.00 if it means I don't have to see you in my place of work ever again. Shoot...I'd pay you to tell all your douche-bag friends to stay away too.
Good! And you won't be back. When someones a jerk we will ruin their experience on purpose just so you will never return. Think about that the next time your dining out.
Great attitudes on how to run you place of employment into the ground. You do realize that the cumulative effect of customers dealing with rude wait staff can poison the perception of restaurant. Over time this will kill off repeat customers, which are the bread and butter of most restaurants. The five things listed in the article are not much to deal with, and it would not be unreasonable as a customer to complain about. Also do not try to pretend that you are making 2.30 an hour, more like 10-20 an hour when tips are included. Secondly some of us live countries where wait staff are provided minimum wage plus tips, 15-35 an hour dependent on the restaurant. So do I expect someone making 15+ an hour to be able deal with these reasonable requests or at least give a resonant explanation of why the requests can not be met, yes.
You might be amazed at the number of people who have their waiter running constantly, but then tip nothing. They complain about everything so the waiter tries to make it all right, but to no avail.. You sound like one of them anyway. (No, I have never been a waiter, but I am a watcher.
You sound real nice, understanding. A little vengeful, but no one's perfect. Bet you make a lot in tips. Then again, your mentioning the hourly wage suggests that makes up the bulk of your pay, hmm, wonder why?
I actually agree with a lot of this list. Servers can really make or break a restaurant, especially one that's trying to last. With businesses, often, coming and going, having the right wait staff and knowing what to say is extremely valuable.
1. While it does depend on what you like, I would have NEVER asked for a recommendation if I knew what to pick. When a waiter can actively engage in a conversation about menu items, it means he cares about his own restaurant enough to be able to describe to me exactly what makes one menu item different than another.
2. I don't like pressure either. If it's not there when I am ready to order, it's not there.
3. There's a reason menus are structured by appetizer, entree, dessert. They should come out in that order, together–it's American tradition. I get the Italian thing–cause I lived over there. But it's rude in America to take a bite of something before everyone is served, and if not everyone is served yet, food goes bad. Part of a chef's job is to be in line with timing-if he can't do that, he probably won't move up.
4. I think what the author is getting at here is that servers would rather make excuses than offer even attempting to make a change. Clearly everyone knows the chef isn't making that choice. The server is telling a bad lie to get out of it.
5. My waiter is not my friend. I don't pay my friends who are sitting at the table with me.
I enjoyed this article, and agree!
Good point on number 1 Libby. In my opinion, a great waiter knows how to describe a dish in tantalizing detail. A great waiter doesn't recommend, he/she paints a picture for you to visualize and make the decision on your own...
1. I usually narrow my choices down and ask "Would you suggest the beef or the fish" only to have servers tell me they have no opinion. That scares me a little – how can someone not have something to offer, even if it's just to say that "the beef is more popular"? This happens more than one might imagine in a wide variety of places from central New Jersey through New York City.
2. Please don't drop my food then ask me how it is 5 seconds later when it's obvious I haven't had a chance to taste it yet, and then not show up again for 30 minutes!
Aside from that, a server who's halfway courteous and smiles at me generally has my blessing and gets a good tip. Decent food in this area's almost a given because places go out of business really fast otherwise. Mr. Elder must be a nightmare customer.
PS: I've never waited tables in my life. It's seriously hard work and I'd never make it. God bless those who make their living this way.
Very good piece. Not too surprising so many of the comments are from ex-waiters, etc., who think this is too much, elitist, etc. After all, they're very special people doing a job far beneath their dignity, and we need to be aware of this, be more sensitive to their special situation - if service isn't particularly polite, well, they're not supposed to be subservient slaves, right! A certain impudence, unconcern just means they're dignified human beings who have rights also. Just because we're paying and tipping customers, what elitist, entitled eejits would we be to expect these folks to give excellent, attentive service? Really, that's a bit much. . . .
snobby is asking why the restaurant didnt make more of what they are out of. common sense would inform most people that the dish they are out of was popular and that is the reason it is in low supply. snobby is telling servers not to break his precious fourth wall as if the people taking care of him are characters in a film. snobby is acting like the restaurant and its temperature and volume of music should be modified to suit just their needs and no one else. shall i go on?
Unnecessary - all you're doing is regurgitating the article. Got it the first time.
obviously you didnt since you felt the need to lace your post with snide comments
Are you the guy that lost a lot of weight eating Subway?
classy response. i think youve shown your maturity level an di do not wish to argue with a person with your "intellect"
Aw, man - an' I thought we were just gettin' to know each other. . . .
I love comments from "professional" waiters and waitresses...here's a hint: any job that can be mastered in three hours is no "profession." And the reason you have any job at all is because customers come into the business and spend their hard-earned cash. We are not your "guests." Just where did you get the notion that a server is too be catered to by the patron? I didn't come in to see you, or hear any details of your drab little life..just do your job...which is to wait on me.
Wow, if you need to belittle wait staff on an anonymous forum in the evening, you may have some self-esteem issues.
Will, 'waiter' is a term referring to a position of surrogacy. For instance, at McDonald's, 'you' wait for your food and get it yourself. In a 'sit-down' restaurant, you employ someone to wait 'for' you; that's why you tip. Which is an acronym by the way: 'To Insure Promptness'. So, the longer you make them wait on you, customarily, the greater the tip. I agree that some postings are servers reliving an unenjoyable period in their lives, but I caution against accosting veteran servers. In higher end dining, these gems are so socially adept every Epicurean desire you have is anticipated and satisfied. That's professional.
I called several insurance companies, and none would sell me a policy to insure prompt service. They told me to call an ensurance company, if I want to ensure I get prompt service.
Hey Will, what kind person are you? Sociopathic? Wait people are very interesting and have injured egos having to serve regular folks day in, day out. . . . We are obligated to pay rapt attention, share details of our lives, invite them to sit with us, even. Tip them lavishly just for getting the order right. . . .
Hey ILL Will, If in fact you do dine out I would suggest you BOIL any food served you before consuming same. Just as a precautionary measure relative to your issues.
I hate the first one - I'm a recommendations gal! I love to ask for suggestions and then take a wild leap and order the recommended dish. It's an adventure and saves me the indecision - and I almost always enjoy it.
Waiters, when I ask for your recommendation, I'm not asking you to tell me what YOU think I'LL like, but what YOU like. Don't try to figure out my preferences and suggest based on them. Tell me the dishes you KNOW are good! If I were nitpicky, I wouldn't have asked (or I'd deserve what I got for asking!) ;)
Point #2 is absolutely incredible... "Well, why didn't you make more?" Wow, somehow ignorant and pretentious at the same time...
Haha and I can almost hear the tone of voice she'd use too. Hate is too kind of a word for people like that.
I don't know, how about these five things:
1) The chef yells, "Has anybody seen my finger?"
2) "We're out of soap in the bathroom."
3) The waiter says, "I couldn't quite read the expiration date, but I'm sure it's fine."
4) "You're not leaving until you eat everything on your plate."
5) "What's that smell?"
dont break the fourth wall? servers are people as well, im not sure if you were aware of that sir. Your restaurant visit is not a video game or a play or movie. It is people trying to do a job just as you try to do yours. you are an incredible snob
You're a very nice, very sensitive person. The nerve of people to think they could expect attentive service from a fellow human being - ah, the inhumanity!
The author is obviuosly used to ignoring the faces of the persons who take care of his kids, open the door for him, drive his limo, clean his house, and otherwise tend to the dirty work we peons call daily life. We can only hope that for the likes of this B, the "ahem ahem" upper echelon. This dude is right up there with Leona Hensley. (the little people quote)
Sorry for the incomplete sentence. I took a very nasty comment out of there.
And you're obviously into making snap judgments of people you know really nothing about.
This is one of the more moronic articles I’ve read about food service.
5@5 is a daily, food-related list from chefs, writers, political pundits, musicians, actors, and all manner of opinionated people from around the globe. Opinionated.................. that's the only qualification the blogger has.
I can agree to a point about some of the criticisms he makes, but some are over the top. My favorite restaurant is a lovely Indian place where I always have trouble understanding the waiter, but it's quiet so I can hear him and try. They still pull out your chair, and place your cloth napkin in your lap. They're helpful without being in your face. We always have a giggle about how they constantly fill up your water glass. They don't bother you about it, they just do it for you quietly and walk away. I love how they ask about my overseas family in England, even though we don't get in there often. It's thinkgs like that, as well as wonderful food, that make dining a great experience. And since it's Indian food, there are never any children there eating! A bonus!!
Mr. Elder, your opinion is appreciated but obviously you are an elitist jerk who doesn't appreciate the hard work the staff and the underpaid workers provide for the best restaurant service that you didn't get. Do us all a favor and just be less snobby.
Peter Park, I'm not being sarcastic here. I'm genuinely interested in what you found "elitist" and "snobby" about this piece. I called in a friend who is having dinner at my apartment (she is a waitress), and she had the same perplexed reaction I did.
Thanks for the clarification!
3 types of guests eat at restaurants:
1- the guy that tells you he's a great tipper.. And isn't.
2- the guy that treats you like garbage, and tips well to justify it.
3- guys like Sean who make it impossible for a good server to read him and ends up getting upset by having unreal expectations and poor communication skills.
Exercise some 'un-common' sense Sean, you'll enjoy dining out more.
"3 types of guests eat at restaurants"
Talk about arrogant and pretentious. You forgot to list the unassuming, reasonable patrons who tip well & consistently ... among other types that weren't mentioned. If you think they don't exist, then you need anger management classes or find another line of work.
Then there is the fourth, which is me. I understand how hard your job is and even if the service wasn't great I will still tip 15%. If the service was great then I tip 20% plus. I will also come back to the place because I enjoyed it so much. I am also in a position to recommend places to eat to people new to the area. I will also add your place to the list. I think he went a bit over the top on things like the AC, but the rest makes sense. (Got a whole life story one night, but most ofetn an engaging waiter/tress is more enjoyable that takes out their bad mood on me)
Sorry, stupid typos – meant to say an engaging waiter/tress is more enjoyable than one who takes their bad mood out on me. Yes "professionals" that happened to me. I had the nerve to ask not to be seated in the area I knew they put big loud parties. It was 11, when they opened so the place was empty. Not an unreasonable request.
Is this guy for real? What a snooty, snobby, elitist asshole
Whoever wrote this article is a total moron.
I have a feeling he's a Presbyterian, actually.
I waited tables for 6 years, and I DO agree with this guy. He's not arrogant, on the contrary, you servers who complain think you have some entitlement! You want to get paid? SATISFY THE CUSTOMER! That's it!! If you don't like it, get out of the restaurant business!
I am not sure its possible to please THIS type of patron
I'm really bothered by this. As someone who has worked in restaurants, people like you are what make the industry a practically unbearable workplace. When you walk into restaurant it is not your home, it is not your kitchen and it is not your dining room. You are there as a guest, not someone to be worshiped. If the kitchen is out of lamb, they are out of lamb, plain and simple. If you want lamb go make it yourself. If the server talks too much its because he or she is human, not simply the help. People like you is why there is little progress in moving this country forward, think of somebody besides yourself.
Wow, Really? So in return for my hard earned money and what commercials purport to be a great dining experience, I should expect to be treated worse than in my own house?
We expect you to treat the waiter, who is a fellow human being, like a person not a servant. Yes the waiter is there to do a job, but he's not there to be treated like crap.
Yeeeeeah buddy!
I hope I never dine at a restaurant where you are employed. You clearly have a distorted and misguided view of what a dining-out experience should be. The waiters/waitresses, host/hostesses, and chefs are very much "the help," and are there to serve me. That is why I am paying for the experience. Get over yourself.
get over yourself. You're there to eat, not to act as if you're royalty. The staff are still human beings, and you're not above that. treat them with respect and you'll get great service.
@pantagruel30 Go choke on a quail leg.
When I go to a restaurant, I am not a guest; I am a customer. There is a difference. A customer is paying for a service. The servers are, indeed, "the help." You are not my hosts. You are there to serve me. That doesn't mean that I am not treating you as a human being. If you feel that serving is too – well, subservient – then please find another job that is more suitable for your fragile ego.
Ann, you are the kind of customer that servers hate. Do you really think that servers, especially those of us with Bachelor's and Master's degrees, want to be treated as slaves? Most of us are there because we choose not to be sitting on our azzes collecting welfare while either trying to find another job in our field or trying to start a career after graduation. Please keep your ungrateful self out of my restaurant.
This is all a bunch of hypocrits that knows nothing of customer service. As you put it: "5@5 is a daily, food-related list from chefs, writers, political pundits, musicians, actors, and all manner of opinionated people from around the globe.
" these people are not customer service people. They only sit eitther behind a desk or on a stage, or debating about what president shit the most on his term years. People of such think that the restaurant is their home, and theyre kings and queens. It does not work like that. You want a better insight? Get a serving job! Which is what i recommend for stubborns of such.
i think i hate you.
You know what I don't want to hear in a restaurant?
1.) Screaming kids.
That is all.
I was in a restaurant once that had a screaming kid. I slapped the little bastard in the mouth and he shut the hell up. The restaurant patrons all started clapping and the mother of the screaming brat left. Chuck Norris rules!!
1. Can you lift your foot, that rat went under here...
Nope but if you eat in asian restaurants that would never happen because the rats are what they are serving you.
Wow this article is so rife with ignorance and arrogant entitlement it makes my head hurt. I've been a server and bartender for seven years now and it's attitude and useless advice like this that not only demeans what is now one of the largest employment sectors of the American economy, but also engenders an atmosphere that poisons the dining experience for the public and the service industry. Let me break this article down point by point.
1. When you ask for a recommendation from a server you should expect to be asked what you like, because when you answer back wtih seafood, something spicy, etc. the server will be able to narrow said recommendation down to something that you are more likely to be interested in, thus streamlining and improving your dining experience. Furthermore, the basic premise of the modern kitchen system is consistency above all, so every dish on the menu should be done "well" every time it is cooked.
2. When a server tells you that there is a limited number of something left they are being polite. They are not really trying to pressure you into ordering the last of something in stock. Which very neatly brings me to the second, and most willfully ignorant part of your statement. A kitchen makes every attempt to have the proper amount of food prepped. If a kitchen actually runs out of something it quite literally means that they can not just "make more of it" as you so simply put it. The most likely reason that an item would be taken off the menu is that the kitchen has run out of the ingredients it needs to cook the item, or the prep time for said item is too long for it to be finished during that days dining hours.
3. While it may be technically true that most modern kitchens are capable of putting out food in any order you so desire the real question is, should they have too? While just about any kitchen is capable of and generally willing to slow down, or speed up ticket times as much as is allowable through pacing properly it needs to be said that the customer has come out to eat for one of two main reasons, convience and a good experience. If you came out to avoid the hassle of cooking and cleaning up for yourself, just take your meal as it comes and be thankful that someone is doing it for you. If it is the dining experience you are after, than you should know that the timing of the meal is usually built in to that experience intentionally.
4. This one is my favorite because it highlights the pure ignorance of the author. Not only does a chef have nothing to do with the temperature of the dining room or the volume of the music, but he actively can not monitor any of those. The kitchen is far to loud to hear the music if it is even open to the dining room, and kitchens run at one temperature only, hot. The dining room is under the exclusive control of the general manager or front-of-the-house manager during operating hours and they are happy to alter what they can you make a customer more comfortable. Consider also, that the temperature and music may be universal throughout the dining room and changing it too much a suit one table may cause the rest of the room to be uncomfortable,
5. This is the only point that I remotely agreed with. That being said, this issue is more of a server to server personality difference than an operational failure for the restaurant. If you truly have an issue with a server, by all means ask for a manager and explain the problem, don't assume it is part of the restaurant's policy.
So in closing thanks for this eye-opening expose into your own ignorance and lack of experience into how the restaurant world works. I look forward to your next piece of writing, just try not to sound like to much of an arrogant fop next time.
I was a waiter. You clearly covered all the issues. Thank you. If I might add: if one wishes for complete subservience and every aspect to be tailored to specific whims, get slaves and eat at home.
Or you can build your own restaurant out of couch cushions and bedsheets in your living room and not allow anyone else to eat there via a sign with adorable handwriting a backwards "s" where needed.
Thanks Mike ! I couldn't have stated it any better. As a chef, I appreciate your words putting everyone to the wise. Perhaps this didn't ruin everyones dining preferences and they will continue to venture out to new establishments without fear.
I completely agree with you Mike...very well said.....
No offense, Mike, but I disagree with you here: If you came out to avoid the hassle of cooking and cleaning up for yourself, just take your meal as it comes and be thankful that someone is doing it for you. If you are paying for service–and more than you would be paying at home, then the service better be GOOD service.....not half-assed because the patron should just be happy someone else is cooking for them. That's a sign of a sub-par restaurant that doesn't care about quality of food but rather turning tables for profit
To be completely fair I was not claiming that a customer should be thankful for whatever they get. By all means as a paying customer you are by all means allowed to have certain expectations of quality service. My response was specifically geared towards the author's comments on timing and order of service. The kitchen runs on a very specific order of sequencing. It is generally easy to change pace of service to suit the customers needs. However putting out courses based completely on the desires of the customer can often cause more issues than it solves. A good kitchen can handle this, but once again, should it have to? At some point this will affect the quality of food and service the rest of the customers are expecting. To your last point, a restaurant is very much about turning a profit, that is how they stay in business and turn out good food. A restaurant cannot turn profit without good food. The quality and consistency of the food, the ambiance of the dining room, and the quality of the serving staff are all designed to draw in new and repeat business, thereby causing profit. This is true of every restaurant, even the highest of high end. If you are making great food just for the sake of making great food, than you are not working in a restaurant, you are cooking at home for friends.
As someone who has been on both sides of the dining table, thank you for your well-thought-out reply. I had to laugh at your observation on point 4; when I was back in a kitchen, a car could have gone through the front window and I doubt we would have heard it. And for heaven's sake, for the author to criticize a waiter for inquiring as to a diner's preferences is just silly. On the diner's side, it always irks me when I hear people next to me complaining over something ridiculous. I actually got up one time to speak with a manager later to tell him that his waiter hadn't been rude like another patron said he was; there was just no making that person happy. That said, I'm ferocious with truly horrible service, but it's a lot more rare that this author would have you think.
I have been a waiter for nearly 20 years. I think you should spend your hard earned money on a butler or a robot because you obviously have too high expectations of other human beings. Stay home.
Truly - the expectation of good, attentive service is soo, like, 20th century or older. . . .
When one of the Chef's specials is a fish dish at a steak restaurant and the server says "This IS a steak restaurant", trying to change my mind from ordering the fish. Really? LOL
So many excellent points, Mikey, CH, Sphere, et al.(Sean, is it blowing your mind that I'm a waiter and I can still use Latin phrases?) I'm just going to address point #2 here, even though they are all a little goofy. Sean, restaurants may run out of a certain dish for a few different reasons. Here are two: A) If you prep too much, then you usually end up with waste. Waste is bad. Maybe this means that your run out from time to time, but they usually estimate the demand pretty well. B) Some of the better restaurants source local food and may only get a limited amount. Should they decline a few locally raised lamb chops because they won't be able to give one to everybody? Or maybe they should supplement the good lamb with some crap from Costco so they can keep everyone happy.
As for the waiter offering to put in an advanced order on a limited dish... Sounds to me like she is just trying to look out for her patrons.
You're welcome.
As a server for many years in many both ends of the dining spectrum I can agree with some of this list. If they (the guest) ask for recommendations give them some. If they ask if you think they will like something though, how could we possibly know? It's a fine line of wording. Some foods and drinks have no grey area of like/dislike. (see Cilantro or Odell's St. Lupilin, Laphroig scotch)
As for music, I have heard things such as can you change the music / turn it off? This is an unreasonable request. You chose the venue. If you dislike the ambiance perhaps you should try some place else. And for the love of god can people understand how TVs work in restaurants. Sorry, let me explain. Most can only tune 2 or 3 diff channels at a time. So if you want an obscure game and it will ruin your night if you don't see it please stay home to watch it. It's a pain to surf satellite television while being busy with a dozen other tasks that matter in a restaurant.
I do work in a place with a tiny kitchen so number 3 does apply sometimes. Of course we do our best to try to keep things close together anyways. Not something you tell a table as they seat though. That's just silly.
A decent list. Just remember that it is your choice to be somewhere. Vote with your dollars when you go out and choose the place that best suits your style. I work at a bar/restaurant attached to a very well known live music venue. If you hate music it probably shouldn't be your first choice.
Dine on you crazy diamonds!
'I love photos! [of children]' she squealed. "Even when they are as ugly as YOURS !!"
Here's the other, less pompous perspective.
1) Asking "what's good here?" is literally asking for that waiter's individual opinion of what they like. If there was anything on the menu that was plain bad, it wouldn't be there anymore. Everything is on that menu because *someone* likes it and is willing to pay for it. A waiter asking for your taste preference shouldn't be pulling teeth. Take your own damn advice and don't turn ordering into a matter for the UN Security Council you hypocritical dolt.
2) Maybe people kept asking the waiter "what do you recommend" and he kept recommending the rack of lamb like you suggested he do.
3) Fair enough, it's a preference, but does it really effect your meal? Does it change the way it tastes? Fairly petty when we get down to it.
4) You aren't the only person there. This should be painfully obvious since they already ate your rack of lamb.
5) I agree. Waiters/waitresses who try to be your friend are a little annoying. However, the entire paragraph – and article – sounds less like you're bothered by her attitude, but more bothered by the fact that you have to do something. "Doing things", "making decisions", "bringing a jacket" seem to be quite a lot for you to handle. So much so that you had to submit a diatribe to CNN proclaiming all of your narcissistic wants and dreams and demonizing those who don't get out of your way and do exactly what you want.
Be happy you live in a world where you can have such pretentious problems and leave it at that.
OK, this was funny. Good show.
Fuking awesome!
There are over 900 million hungry people in this world Mr. Elder
Then they should go to a restaurant.
Barring a few big "no-no's" in this business, one guest's complaint is cherished by the next one. Some customers couldn't care less about my name, and others think I am impersonal if I don't tell them. One customer likes, "happy holidays" while the next one complains you did not say, "merry Christmas." I agree with point one. I have a list of different types of meals to present in this situation, and I watch for hints from there. Point two, on the other hand, is part of this business if you deal in fresh food, especially seafood. We cut our fish in house and sometimes we run out. If I don't tell a guest we were low, then we get a complaint. You want to complain because we are being proactive by telling the guest. If we have 10 pieces of fresh Salmon left we serve what we have; we don't throw it away because every single guest can't get one. This is part of the business. I can't believe you don't know this. We take it off the menu and have servers present it so we can avoid as much disappointment as possible. 3-5 are fine.
Pretentious much?
I am not a fan of the server who sits uninvited at my table or interrupts obviously intimate conversation for "How is everything tasting question?"; but I understand its a job and I typically cut people slack on such minor things. What annoys me most restaurants that tolerate loud, potty-mouthed, vulgar, drunk patrons. Managers should have the backbone to ask such people to leave. Its your house, treat it as such so the rest of your patrons can enjoy what, for some, is a rare night out without the kids! Nothing like spending your romantic anniversary dinner and first night out alone in almost a year beside a belching group of frat boys in what is supposed to be a fine restaurant and then paying $150 for the experience.
I had a experience like that I was with a friend a obnoxious guy with a bunch or drunks got to the area I was eating ,we were not able to talk we can't hear each other it was loud and rude ,we left and I send mail to the manager complaining he send me a free coupon , and I never back to that place ...we are paying we are eating we like to have a peaceful place to eat and enjoy it is not right that the drunks take over the restaurant while us had to deal with it!
No...Duh. Cretin.
Let me guess, your think that your money is greener than other people's, so you are the only ones allowed to dine in an upscale establishment. What is a manager supposed to do – call the frat kids' parents and tell them that they are being bad boys and they need to stop? The restaurant can't control how other people were raised. If you can't deal with the public, maybe you should stay home and learn how to cook.
"what i hate most about servers is they come every 30 seconds" and then the next guy whines because the server didn't come the instant he wanted them to.
No experience at a restaurant will be perfect, because everyone has their tastes on how the waiter/waitress should act. They're people, they're not going to be perfect. Stop crying over such silly things.
I agree with you 100%. For those who feel they are being approached too often or too seldom, instead of whining here, complain to management while you're there. They can't fix something if they don't know it's broke. My last constructive complaining garnered me a comped meal. Can't complain about that.
Seriously...this article makes me sick to my stomach. But then again, knowing that you probably consume 3 pints of waiter-spit per year makes me feel a little better. Keep barking at the staff asshole.
I'm glad someone said it.
Ive been in the food biz all my life. But its people like this guy and his article that make me shake my head. Stay home then and have your bitchy wife cook for you. Leave the table open for someone who will appreciate it.
Exactly why I don't eat in restaurants. That, and it's cheaper to eat at home. If the economy doesn't kill you all, your nasty attitudes will.
This chain restaurant I visit every few months or not will always make me not want to go back again. Last week, we had a waitress who did not know beans from applesause about her job. I wanted Splenda with ice tea. Every time we go, we have to ask for them even though the other sweeteners are on the table. She brought in about 15 after forgetting to bring the sweetner witht he drinks. Well, she came back every few mins and I tried to be deaf and dumb. We told her we didn't want another drink and every time she asked she would say, "r u shure?". lol Got ridicule. We put the dishes on the edge of the table, she always aksed, "do you want me to take these away". I wanted to say, "what are my options?", After getting on my last nerve, she came back and we had one empty glass, she yelled (she was way too loud to everyone). I lost it and told her to 'go away' and she asked me why? I told her again to 'go away' and she actually wanted to argue. I told her 'you are getting on my last nerve' and she finally left. I saw her running to the manager who must have told her to 'suck it up'. This gal must have had more complaints. I felt sorry for the waitress, but I think the restaurant should show the customers how to do her job or only hire experienced waitresses.
You sound like the annoying one. Wow... rude. People don't have to put up with rude customers. They can actually make a restaurant lose money because their rudeness makes for a bad environment.
I realize the original article was about problems w/ith employees of the restaurant, but I am gob-smacked that in so many responses adding things about an environment you'd want to come back to, I can't believe nobody has made a comment about other diners getting cell phone calls – w/ith a ring tone that can be heard 3 miles away, and who then proceed to scream into the phone for a half hour because the phone service is not claar. Patrons should be asked to turn off their cell phones unless they could be needed in an emergency – like a doctor. My diet is restricted and I am very sensitive to noise, and anything that could bother any of my senses. I spent a long time looking for a restuarant that carried my food and had a pleasant dining environment – especially with no loud muskc. The second time I ate there, the man at the next table was yelling into his phone for a half hour. It certainly took away the wish to return. I asked to see the manager, and told him I would not be coming back, but I really wanted to know why a staff member didn't request that this very loud man take his phone outside. I told him I'd been so delighted to find a comfortable restaurant in which I could eat without having to ask a dozen questions about whatever was on the menu, and I truly enjoyed the lack of blaring music, but the man on the phone was even more annoying. If the manager cared, I'd think he would have offered a refund for the meal or a two-fer or something that would encourage another visit. Guess he didn't care.
Most restaurants will not confront a paying customer about their annoying habit unless another paying customer complains. What is annoying to you is not automatically annoying to someone else. If you're expecting the manager to act because you're annoyed, speak up. No one can read your mind and none of the employees is that interested in the interpreting the expressions on your face. Restaurant managers will put up with alot of BS from customers to keep them coming back. They will even put up with you to keep you coming back.
You're an idiot. Don't go back if you have a bad experience. The chick was doing the right thing making sure. Such stupid shit to be mad about.
Nah, u r the dumb one. you had to be there................lol..............Trust me, she would have got on your last nerve or told her where to get off......................but thanks for asking...............lolol
Hey, Stupid,
Are you serious? Why in the world would interrupting someone's dinner every few minutes be considered OK for a waitperson? Surely this is a glaring example of ineptitude. She was just making sure? Perhaps the patron was lying to her the first several times? Wow. Just. . . wow.
I feel sorry for the waitress too, for having to deal with a pain in the a$$ customer like yourself.
You ate at a chain restaurant. What did you expect? You got previously frozen, portion controlled servings of something called food. they hire newbies by the droves and pay diddly squat. Seriously, go to a real restaurant and pay the daggone money. If you want dinner for $10 you get what you deserved. You are a dolt and a cheapskate.
I hate customers, and I hate my boss. I hate having to suck up to all of you.
Power to the people!
Wow, sucks to be you.
Get a job in a morgue.
GREAT reply
Then please, go to college and get another field. When the car factory in your town shuts down, YOU GET ANOTHER JOB. If I hate sales, I GET ANOTHER JOB.
Yeah, we know . . . we've known for a looong time. . . . By the way, you hate yourself, too. Just ask any therapist.
You should hang yourself
What a stupid, pretentious article... ridiculous. Are people so petty these days? Everything he lists is behavior I expect.
1) If I can tell the server what kind of food I like, s/he can better direct me to a special that I might enjoy.
2) If they're short on an order of something– YES!– I would like to know. Why wait till I order it to tell me that they're out of it? I'd be more upset if the server said, "We had it when you were seated and I was going to tell you– but I didn't want to rush you."
3) So, you're willing to tolerate "food as it's ready" at some restaurants but not others? And somehow it's more tolerable if the kitchen is small? What does that say about you? How incredibly bourgeois and sophisticated of you...
4) If the air conditioning is too cold for one person, it might be just right for another whether or not the chef likes it. You can't carve out a dimension of space to be at the right temperature for EVERY customer. Bring a jacket.
5) I like friendly service. No, I don't want to know the intimate details of anyone's life... but friendlier is better than unfriendly. Really, of all the things to pick at...
Do people have SO little to do that someone might go to the trouble of delineating what amounts to restaurant snobbery??! The author seems to have forgotten that we go to eat, not to be pampered. Anyone who needs pampering needs to let some hot air out of their ego... that should warm up the restaurant.
Great Comment. People need to get over themselves, this guy is acting like a Prince.
Great comment. If someone doesn't want attention in a restaurant, I'm guessing there is a McDonald's near by, they wouldn't even have to go in!
I wouldn't go so far as to say the article is "stupid" but a very good comment, none the less!
well said.
Sean Elder (and his wife) may dine out a lot, but restaurant experts they are not. Point one is just ridiculous. You almost always get the response: "Well, I'm allergic to [insert my recommendation here]," or, as noted above, "I'm not in the mood for that." Point two is smug and nasty. I can just hear the sneering, sarcastic, "Well, why didn't you make more?" Clearly, if the table of 8 all ordered the lamb, and par for a given night is 8, then we prepped 10, and are having a statistical anomaly of a night. The other three are OK, but point to Sean's narcissism, eg: if Sean (or his wife) are cold, turn up the heat, and screw other diners who might have a different impression. Or again: know that Sean and his wife think that the heyday of the over-familiar waiter is over (thank god! can you imagine? talking to THE HELP??).
Your sense of self-importance, Sean, is a little nauseating.
Right on!
Here here!
The correct expression is: "Hear! Hear!" Unless you're thinking of that Beatles song "Here, There and Everywhere." In any case, YOU GOT IT WRONG, DUDE!
Here here, and here!
And a far stupider and even ever so much more so pretentious comment.
Get a life. Who made you the comment nazi?
@ General Pop: I just have an allergic-like reaction to mispokenness. People that say stuff like "tough road to ho." I figure I'm performing a service, so they won't continue to publicly embarrass themselves with ignorant verbal expressions. And with all due respect, General, sir, get a sense of humor. Sir.
"And a far stupider and even ever so much more so pretentious comment."
What's funny about that? Adjust your own sense of humor, sir. Yours seems to have it's nose out of joint.
@ General: Well, it's a deliberately pretentious-sounding comment on another's charge of pretentiousness. It's subtly self-deprecating, ironic, oh well, what's the use. . . .
@ Earschplittenloudenboomer
Are you serious?
"Well, it's a deliberately pretentious-sounding comment on another's charge of pretentiousness."
What do you think the "Hear Hear" was for? Um. Oh yeah, the article was pretentious.
And thanks for correcting me... so that I can use it correctly to point out more pretentious posts. Hear hear!
No, we are not going to turn down the music because you think it's too loud. Jesus, you think it's too loud and the group over wants it louder. Get real people. I worked as a server and often would get customers asking me to turn down the air on "their" side. Right!
I've just about stopped going out to restaurants on account of the obnoxious noise that just about every commercial establishment uses to assault the sensibilities of potential patrons. When the radio or whatever other noise-maker is being used makes it impossible to hold a conversation, what's the point of giving one's money to a business that insults one's intelligence?
Not something said – but I am really offput when the server either sits or squats down at the table to take the order.
It depends on the restaurant. We have and have had a number of, if you will, theme restaurants in town that serve really good food. The waiters are performers as much as waitstaff and it is all part of the "show". The place have a dynamic vibe and the atmosphere is as much a part of the meal as the food. In that case, I don't mind some zaniness as long as I know what to expect when I go there. But generally I don't want too much familiarity, although I do like to be able to generate a positive rapport with the waiter as that generally gets you better service and a better experience.
Me too! I just had this happen at Outback. Drives me crazy. Total invasion of my personal space.
I hope to god you don't walk in to my bar and act like a snotty little brat to me. 1. If you don't know what you want, no one else will. 2. Sometimes things happen. God forbid you order the elephant foot sandwich the same day 30 other people do. I'd like to see you prepare 50 orders of roasted duck on-the-fly. 3. If you know anything about kitchens, you know things happen. If you want everything to come out at the same time, every time, then go to a McDonald's drive-through. 4. Just shut up you whiny little turd. Appreciate the fact that you don't have to listen to your wife talk about her friends' health problems. 5. If you think that people showing a genuine interest in something as pathetic as a food-blogger's life is a bad thing, then you're hopeless. Kill yourself. Sure, this comment might not make it, but somebody has to read it. I just hope that somebody is you.
waiting tables and bartending paid off for three degrees and I will disagree with you. Nobody will pay you 15% service to get the food to their table, shut up and put up with attitude galore. They get that at the local bar joint. Instead, you give people the best food, the best service, be disgreet, and be mindful of their mood. You are there to make money, not to have a party time or flirt with the new host/hostess.
What... exactly... did you disagree with in his post?
I completely agree with you!!!!
These are forced "red flags", I expected something about bugs or cleanliness, not "I totally cant stand when the waiter/waitress clearly show interest in what's going on with their clients"
The only thing I would disagree with was telling him to off himself.
Yeah, perhaps that was a little strong. I'd prefer he didn't actually off himself, but instead, be forced to work in a Waffle House after he gets laid-off from his "real" job.
Too funny, you mean that you're establishment doesn't keep elephants roaming in back so you can just cook those foot sandwich fresh?
Bartender! I want 2 beers and a toasted hoagie! And step on it!
I have 2 things:
1) when the waiter/waitress says, "I had that last night", or "that's my favorite"
2) when i pay in cash and the waiter/waitress says, " Do you need change?"...
marie: "2) when i pay in cash and the waiter/waitress says, " Do you need change?"..."
Yeah, no one cares if you're offended by this.
If an acceptable tip is 3 or 5 dollars and you give 3 or 5 dollars above what's necessary to pay the bill, expect a "do you need change" question. Servers aren't sure if you want them to keep the change (because they assume you're not an ass), and would rather not get into a power play.
That is, they'd rather not go out, count your change, bring it back and then have you give that change right back. If that gets you off, it's childish and absurd.
Wny not assume the customer always needs change unless the customer says otherwise. Many waiters don't look at what bills are provider and just automatically ask,"Do you want change?" Yes, dear, that's a $100 bill on a $40 tab...
amelia: "Wny not assume the customer always needs change unless the customer says otherwise. Many waiters don't look at what bills are provider and just automatically ask,"Do you want change?" Yes, dear, that's a $100 bill on a $40 tab..."
Sorry, you must have misread my comment, because I remember putting explicit conditions on my argument. Namely, that when the amount of money you've given falls within the bill total plus an average tip amount.
Now that relies specifically on both the waiter/delivery driver looking at the bill, and the customer simultaneously saying nothing.
If they're saying nothing because "they" want to be the one to "give" "you" your tip, then they're petty. And they deserve to be offended.
If they're saying nothing because they're going to give you an underaverage tip (assuming service was good), then they like to play games. And they deserve to be offended.
Although I completely agree that if the typical tip would be the amount "change" is, the server should just bring the change back, unless the customer says "keep the change". Just simply the polite thing to do and being polite is generally part of what a server should be doing. The person may have needed that extra 3 dollars back to leave a 6 dollar tip with the $5 bill they have in their wallet.
@amelia I have left $100 on a $40 or $50 bill before because I liked the waiter, I was feeling generous or I was trying to impress my date; it happens and that's why they ask you.
Marie, Seriously? Use your head, they're just making certain of wether or not you're giving them your money or not, it's not that big of a deal. Some of these statements are just stupid. Like hearing someone's favorite food offends you? They're people, not robots.
Customers should realize that they're the ones who make things awkward. If you give 3 or 5 dollars (to reiterate) above the bill total, and say nothing about keeping the change, then you're a douche. Plain and simple.
Why?
Because if you tip less than what's acceptable, well, you're a douche.
And if you're just going to give the waiter/delivery driver the change back, then you're a power playing douche.
@No
I would say you sound like a douche. The tip is suposed to reflect the service, so no blanket "acceptable tip" should be expected. If you expect to get a mandatory $3-5 tip, then you are the dbag, my friend. Its gratuitious, not mandatory. If you give me prompt service, a polite attitude, and nicely put up with any issues I might have, you get your tip. If not, then its all in how generous I feel I should be for a lazy service... Earn it chump, don't expect it.
Absolutely agree with #2. There is no reason that a waiter can't say I'll be right back with your change or just I'll be right back. Give the customer the choice. It's just good customer service.
a couple weeks ago I was out at a reasonably nice restaurant and the hostess was walking a dressed up couple to their table and asked them if they were going to do anything fun that night.."No? well I guess just chilling and eating is ok" Stop and think, stupid. THIS is probably their fun thing.
The best reply is to say you're out looking for people to have group sex with and by the way, when do you get off?
When I discovered raw chicken in a grilled chicken salad, the manager came right over. His response, however, caused me to forever boycott that particular chain. His response? "I am so sorry, ma'am. That hardly ever happens." Shouldn't that NEVER EVER happen?? I am thinking raw chicken/salmonella poisoning are things you'd always try to prevent at all costs.....
I once had a waitress listen in on a conversation about an acquaintance who had died of liver cancer. Her uninvited addition to our "private" conversation was "Oh my...could you imagine the odor?"
Actually I enjoyed her extremely uncalled for statement as I didn't like the deceased and delighted in his death as it fell on December 24th and I could not have been more delighted with my long overdue Xmas gift.
Before that night I made it a rule not to chit-chat with the staff, but whomever you were who added your sick wit, I love that you existed the night I dined out and you changed my opinion on chatting with the help forever.
You really have to let go of some of that hate inside of you .
Chatting with "the help?" Your entire comment just screams self-important dbag.
Most comments here sound like they come from self important d-bags – whether they are from the customers or the waitstaff. That's why I eat in peace at home. Also, I used to be a chef, so the food here is pretty good. Quit because I was tired of working for and with self important d-bags.
You were "delighted" in someones death? I assume this person shot your dog or molested you as a child to have such harsh feelings. I do hope you can move forward and let go of these feelings. Does your medical plan cover cognitive therapy?
"The Help"? Please, don't ever talk to us lowly gutter snipes. Arrogant prick. Snap your fingers when you want or need us to bow to your whims, see how that works out for you, we ALL love that.
Boring. I was expecting to hear something along the lines of, "Were out? Just grab one out of the scrap bin."
I was a server years ago. In response to the first point, 'whats good here?', is one of the most annoying questions a server can be asked. Ninety percent of the time, if someone asks for a blank check recommendation, you're going to get 'weeelllll, Im not really in the mood for that'. No exaggeration. Which is fine, it just gets really really old. Hence, the make-up-your-own-mind or at least provide-some-kind-of-guidance response. The other points I pretty much agree with. The only one I would add is: any kind of hesitation when asked about ingredients or preparation processes. Any server who doesn't know this like the back of their hand needs to be re-trained.
You would have received a high eyebrow, a public dressing down and a penny tip.
As would you. Bad tippers get bad tips.
What I hate the most is a waiter coming over every 30 seconds asking how things are going. It makes me want to say:
"Trust me, if there's a problem or I need something, I'll let you know."
It gets worse when you are talking with a companion and the waiter butts in with this same stupid question.
Waiters: No need to ask how things are going. Savvy customers (those are the ones you want) will tell you without you having to bug them every 30 seconds!
Agreed. I appreciate servers wanting to make sure everything is alright but it would be ok for them to assume it hasn't changed from five minutes before. And, for some reason, they usually ask when my mouth is full!
Agreed. It's twice as annoying when server A is training server B and they both hit you with the "is everything ok" questions separately. This just happened to a friend & me at lunch yesterday
"How is everything tasting?" That's a sure sign the wait staff has been trained on some thoroughly focus-grouped video, instead of genuinely caring about how your experience at their restaurant is. This is even more annoying than the phony-friendly "we", as in "How are we doing tonight?" I don't know about you, lady, but I came here for dinner.
These are all nitpicky comments and anyone who would be emmotionally affected by them should lighten up.
Wow. I guess you could take your own advice as well and lighten up yourself.
Geez. Some people.
Yes! I agree 100%. The author of this article is a real negative person and needs some more love in his life. I hope to god this article is sarcastic but it doesn't seem to be. Relax Sean Elder!
Just googled these cookbooks. I'm so getting them! (and I am a woman, totally not offended).
How many times are you going to post this? It comes off as spam.
I'm offended and I invented The Internets. Goto Faux News,Please.
My Hubby absolutely loves them.. besides being funny.. he uses them all the time!
I have stopped carrying this cookbook for six months! People – leave me alone! Stop talking to robots!
You already posted this. I'm with denim: quit spamming.
That's because it IS spam. She, or someone from her company, was posting this everywhere around christmas last year. I guess the company is gearing back up for the holidays this year. There is no way to make this spamming troll (or group of them) cut it out, so the best we can hope for is that not too many people get taken in and order this book.
If it even is an actual product and not something that takes your personal information and sells it to the highest bidder.
Do you often talk to yourself? Do you find yourself posting responses to messages that are obviously spam? I hope Toby listens to your recommendation; thanks for pointing it out!