 Dear next door neighbors, I'm sure you are lovely and upstanding citizens, generous of spirit and cup and plate. I've not yet met you in person, but seemingly your friends come over each weekend to bask in the warm glow of your hospitality. They're surely not there for the food. How do I know, without ever having tasted, that the things you grill have a flavor akin to scrapings from the crumb tray of Satan's toaster oven? Well, because each Saturday or Sunday afternoon since you moved in, at around five o'clock, my whippet, who's usually been basking in the dappled sunlight on the chaise by the back window suddenly stands bolt upright, sniffs furiously and flees toward the front of the apartment. Dogs, in my experience, tend to run in the direction of cooking meat, but she can hardly be blamed in this case. You may not know this, because seemingly there's some sort of hell-borne current that guides airflow only in the direction of your house to mine, but your grill produces an acrid, evil smoke that vaults the eight foot fence between our backyards, hangs a sharp 90 degrees and roils into my kitchen until I can no longer breathe. Twice already, I have had to postpone my own dinner preparations and leave the house because the fumes - your fumes - were giving me a stabbing headache. And you're doing all this with a gas grill. How in the world is that possible? I have a few theories. Bless your heart, you grew up in a grill-less society and had no idea you are actually supposed to clean the thing after each use so it doesn't become thickly caked with crap and horror. This goes for the drip pans, jets, vents and grates (nope- that doesn't count as "seasoning"; it's just gross baked-on food.) and I will happily march down to the local dollar store and lob a brass brush and a roll of paper towels over the fence if that's what it takes. 2. You're globbing on sweet, bottled barbecue sauce at the beginning, rather than daubing it on - sparingly - at the end. The sugars in that stuff burn quickly and start to smoke. It smells like brimstone and tastes even worse and - you really, truly don't realize that something is amiss here? I have the name of an excellent ear, nose and throat guy, and I'm happy to refer you. 3. You're using those awful little smoke pellets impregnated with microscopic shavings of "real wood" for an "authentic smoke flavor." Know what also brings great smoke flavor? Real wood. You can soak chunks and chips of hickory, mesquite or fruit wood in water or a bit of beer and fold them into a perforated foil pouch instead of setting toxic-smelling little chunks of chemicals on fire next to food you will be serving to people you love. And if you're that desperate for real smoke flavor, I'd be more than happy to introduce you to the folks on the other side of my yard. They've got one of those fancy Big Green Egg smokers that I've never seen - or smelled - them using in the six summers I've lived in this apartment. They might be happy to let you come over and give it a test drive, or even cut you a sweet deal in exchange for never stinking up our side of the block again. It would be the neighborly thing to do. Love, Kat - Burgers – a step-by-step guide - Grilling tips from great chefs - Red hot grilling tips from Eatocracy readers - Grate balls of fire? Not on our watch. See all our best grilling advice at Grilling 101 |
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I'm pretty sure I live next to these guys! Only they do it with lighter fluid. Lots and lots of pungent lighter fluid fumes. We've gotten used to slapping the windows shut whenever we hear them in the back yard. They're lovely people otherwise.
Those who suggest the author "get to know them and offer tips" are not thinking it through. Telling someone how to operate his grill is an insult worthy of a duel!
Whippet good. Now there's a breed of doggie dooly. You could bring the neighbors a house warming present expressing your good taste. How about a package of Smart Franks?
what moron thinks this is a news article..... why the hell is this linked on cnn's home?
what a waste of freaking page space.
I bet you can't tell chalk from cheese, dipsh it.
You poor fool ! You must be a yankee ! Down here we southerners always get to know our neighbors! You must be one of those New Englanders who stare suspiciously at everyone around you because you are certain they are planning to steal something from you! Get over yourself and be a good nieghbor, go speak to other people and find out what they like and what they do. You might be surprised at how much fun you can have when you stop scowling at everyone! Chill out ...
I have found that to be absolutely untrue of Southerners. Bought a house in Nashville 10/2010 and have met two of our neighbors, both happen to be from the Midwest just like us. After four years here it's become apparent to my husband and myself that Southern hospitality is a myth.
That's your basis for a myth? I'm sorry if you've had a bad experience, but don't be so quick to form an opinion. Southern hospitality is alive an well throughout the South. Maybe you and your husband smell funny.
White Girl Problem!
She is just jealous of her neighbor having good time and with many friends....
It would be no more impolite to introduce yourself to your neighbors with a nice gift of wine and a dvd on "The Joys of Grilling" than it is for them to send Vesuvius sized clouds of ash over your fence every day. Also since you are a food writer maybe you can coax them into coming over to your house for an impromptu grilling sesh? Ask them to bring they're favorites and then HAVE AT IT GIRL!!!!
@roguefoodtruck
As Bob 1 once said, "You must whippet."
I would seriously hate to be your neighbor. Do you report them when their grass hasn't been mowed in eight days as well? Or how about the American flag that doesn't meet neighborhood guidelines? Instead of writing a condescending letter for the world to see, why not be an actual neighbor and invite them over and show them how its done?
I hate these douchbags with no sense of community. It's this impersonal, progressive mentality that's actually digressive.
I rarely eat bar b que because most people don't know how to do it. The point of it is to cook the food, not burn it. But 90 percent of the time someone is cooking on the grill, when it's done it's more burnt then anything, and they claim it taste so good.
Thanks for the well written satire; it is most welcome amidst the sea of today's grammatically challenged, uninspiring contributor pieces.
I thought this was my neighbor writing about me at first, then started reading the details and this can't be me, lol!
When I first got married, my father in law gave us one of those large barrel grills, and we used that grill every chance we got; our house was the place to be. We then moved to Allanta and have been living in an apartment the last few years, due tto strict laws, balcony grilling is not allowed and had to give up grilling. We recently purchased a home, and purchased a grill the day after closing (now a fancy one that's combo charcoal/gas) and we grill almost 3-4 days a week. Our neighbor even joked about us grilling everyday! Difference is...we know how to cook, grill, and no bottle sauce (without being "spiced up"). My hubby is also obsessed with cleaning the thing and all its' accessories, Hank Hill would be proud.
You're missing the most obvious possibility of all. They're using the grill to send the BedBugs to hell (and having a party for friends with BedBugs to burn their's also).
Are you jealous??? What joy – people that come for conversation and fun and friendship – EVERY WEEKEND. The writer is a foodie that forgot the point of grilling out is not perfection of food, but enjoyment of the company. I would love to live next to these folks – I'll bet they are the joy of the block and would be the best neighbors ever – always welcoming and always providing. My advice is to make friends with them – it will do you good.
Maybe you could arrange a trade. You could pay for the neighbors' grilling lessons, and they could pay for the grammar lessons you clearly need. This article is riddled with nonsensical sentences, e.g.: "They've got one of those fancy Big Green Egg smokers that I've never seen – or smelled – them using in the six summers I've lived in this apartment." and "How do I know, without ever having tasted, that the things you grill have a flavor akin to scrapings from the crumb tray of Satan's toaster oven?" Dropped words, misused prepositions, and awkward phrasings undermine what little humor this petty screed has to offer. And clearly the em-dash is not your friend
Even casual humor writing needs to be well written and properly edited. CNN and you both should know this.
...fuk face...how da ya like dat gramma...beotch!
clearly you need to relax. and either make a 'friend' real quick, or go get yourself a BOB and visit the ladies room posthaste. one or the other hon....or i fear for your nerves on the drive home.
So after taking someone's suggestion to Google who Kat is, I came upon another "Kat talks behind peoples back" moment.
From twitter@kittenwithawhip,
@kittenwithawhip it's painfully obvious these "go meet your neighbor" folks don't live in or understand NYC. #thisaintmayberry
kittenwithawhip @jennifervcole Can you imagine if I just sorta showed up in their doorstep w/ beer: "Here. You grill stinkily. I fix you now."?
As the person who suggested you show up with beer, I'll explain what the whole post was about. It was not a literal suggestion. It was about a way to help your neighbor and at the same time help yourself. Complaining into the ether of blogworld will accomplish nothing. What also accomplishes nothing is to say "I live in NYC, so I can't talk to my neighbors."
But as everything I've been able to read about you, you enjoy being the judgemental type, (James Beard thing included). So go on, continue to talk about strangers behind their backs.
Just for the record – the #thisaintmayberry Tweet was someone commenting to me - not something I said. And – I'm addressing the whole thing shortly in a post, saying basically - you're totally right about the beer thing if you live in most of the country, but there are particular reasons that wouldn't work in NYC, and why it's sorta sad that it wouldn't. I wish it were that friendly and easy.
My Twitter is public. That's not behind anyone's back and anyone can look. And also – my name is on everything I write. Imagine what folks would write if they did have to put their name on every word they wrote on the internet. Scary, no?
You apparently have a good, successful thing going with Eatocracy and some folks are just plain jealous of that. Keep up the great work!
If you have things to say, say it to their face. This passive aggressive internet rant does 3 things. 1. Makes you the hero. 2. Makes them the big bumbling stooopid. 3. Hacks the rest of us off knowing that lurking by is a shy, inexperience back yard grill wanna be thumbing her nose in the ITNERNET instead of joining the party and trying it out.
I love this and your other articles
I don't know if I'm jelous, but I do enjoy them
Yet you're high and mighty for attacking someone anonymously online yourself? Pot, meet kettle. You're no better than anyone else, "Ed G."
I'll talk to your internet face. Trifling miscreant. Dog sh it stains mean more to me than your irrelevant opinion.
Go over and talk to them about Jesus. He is the answer to all, including grilling technique.
I get invited to my friend's mcmansion compete with the Sam's Club corner bbq grill dealyo. First of all, my friend takes a cut of beef he paid dearly from Fischers of Meunster Texas and ruins it in no time. He thinks he's a good grill cook but he's not and he totally and completely murders the costly beef. Take a ribeye where he will turn it every 30 seconds thinking he's cooking it evenly. what he's actually doing is pressing out all the juices and the final product is worse than the worst Walmart beef cut. Why pay so much for beef from a German grocery store when he's killing it with constant turning? I guess he will never learn because nobody will tell him. He will just grow up being a bad beef cook.
Can you trust anyone to give grilling advice that has a whippit for a dog?
Why yes I can, thanks for asking.
Just a thought. Other people aren't you. Other people have different ways of doing things. Having a haughty attitude because you write for CNN doesn't make your way better. I could grill circles around you, and my grill is by no means spotless. I scrape the iron, burn at 500 for 5 minutes, and I'm off to the races without one complaint. I sure hope you've never seen the inside of a restaurant kitchen...
Don't eat meat. It's bad for you.
Grill boogers instead.
Dumbest article ever. There are a LOT of things you can do while grilling various meats in various ways that produce hellish smelling smoke but leave you with food people would kill for.
"You're bad at grilling because your smoke smells."
Yeah, shut up you ignorant moron.
I want the instructions for a good steak. I find it hard to believe that they didn't explain how to do the best steak.
Please don't talk about "stakes" so early in the morning.
I hope this doesn't violate copyright laws, but this one is from Alton Brown (it's foolproof and it doesn't use a grill).
Place 10 to 12-inch cast iron skillet in oven and heat oven to 500 degrees. Bring steak(s) to room temperature.
When oven reaches temperature, remove pan and place on range over high heat. Coat steak lightly with oil and season both sides with a generous pinch of salt. Grind on black pepper to taste.
Immediately place steak in the middle of hot, dry pan. Cook 30 seconds without moving. Turn with tongs and cook another 30 seconds, then put the pan straight into the oven for 2 minutes. Flip steak and cook for another 2 minutes. (This time is for medium rare steaks. If you prefer medium, add a minute to both of the oven turns.)
Remove steak from pan, cover loosely with foil, and rest for 2 minutes. Serve whole or slice thin and fan onto plate.
Note: those instructions were for rib eye steaks.
You are retarded.
At least he doesn’t have neighbors with dogs that never shut up. That’s a real problem!
It's an amusing story, but also pathetic. Anyone so skilled at the culinary of barbecuing (which is a neighborly pastime) that grills their neighbors as she does without taking time to share and help them is simply a supercilious, vain, vindictive b!1<h who probably can barely microwave frozen dinners let alone understands barbecuing. After all, if she was so amazing at barbecuing, she would be having people over and the neighbors would smell her culinary mastery and come over and beg to learn how to cook. Either way, she's a snob, a b!1<h, a fake or all three. Me. I can't cook worth a darn, but wife does,and I bought her a thousand dollar grill for Christmas a few years back. And for the story. She writes funny stuff and anyone that takes offense at this has already went over the deep end, and you just barbecued! ;-)
Aw, I don't think you have to be "a supercilious, vain, vindictive snob, a b!1<h or a fake" to not like the smell of burning tires wafting in after you close your windows.
I would go over and meet them, but that's just not how it's done in my neck of Brooklyn. It would be considered rude and an imposition. That might seem counter-intuitive, but the way we can all live crammed on top of each other in New York is to maintain a polite social barrier with strangers. Everyone minds their own business and it tends, for the most part to work out okay. I like people and like making new friends, but there are also unspoken social contracts.
how very scandinavian of New York
I wonder if we could sell New York to Sweden or Finland; their social behaviors seem compatible
We're nice people, I swear! Polite and enthusiastic when a stranger needs help, eager to show off our city. I honestly think it's because we can hear each other through walls and ceilings and physically have people's bodies jammed up against ours in the subway that we have to compartmentalize in some aspects of our lives. Otherwise the signal to noise ratio becomes overwhelming.
I do know everyone's dogs, though, and people know mine. I swear I think they know people I do not.
I can so relate to that. I hate crowds, malls, concerts, airports, etc. And if I had to live that every day, I would shut myself off at the end of the day/weekend and be very content. I think what most people missed here was that it was a humorous look at a sometimes stinky problem! I still wish I knew what the heck they are cooking to make such a stench. spy and report back please :)
Loved the fun article! Some people have noooo sense of humor! And the picture at the top...those are some seriously white legs, all they are missing is the black socks!
Seriously though, I have never smelled something as bad as you describe coming from a grill, I do wonder what they are cooking...or maybe they were "naked grilling" and something caught on fire. (nod to RH)
Stop being passive-aggresive. Go tell your neighbor to stop stinking up your neighborhood. If that doesn't work tell the apartment manager. If you want to be nice about it then offer to give some grilling advice since you obviously know more about grilling then they do. Writing about it here won't fix your problems.
@Kat~this is a hilarious letter, if only you could really send it........
Please forgive Bubba as he has some unresolved issues. Sadly, "your mom" jokes are the best he can do. His father said he'd never amount to much but I think he's doing ok for a ten year old.
If it ain't burnt black, it ain't done. No e-coli in my house!
This article was hilarious and made my day. Thanks for curing work boredom.
I have a Big Green Egg; it is the best grill I have ever used. I use it regularly and find it extremely easy to start (no fluid only lump charcoal and wood chips) and maintain heat ranging from 225F to 650F. If you know what you are doing any grill will work, but if you don't better keep tryin'.
Did you lay that big green egg out back?? LOL Couldn't resist with your screen name...
If there's one way to get people to change their behavior, it's to never talk to them, but talk *about* them to everyone else.
Good job!
For those who are insulting us that use a gas grill, I will say that while I prefer charcoal grilling, the time and cost saving aspect of grilling with gas make it possible for me to grill almost every night of the week all year round. I can't see spending 30 minutes to get the charcoal white hot to cook a steak for 5-6 minutes. Waste of charcoal, waste of lighter fluid, waste of time, not to mention the clean up. And for those who don't "clean" off the old food off of your grill...I'm glad you are not my neighbor and I'll pass of the invite to your next bbq!! Ewwww.
Too funny...I must admit that I'm supremely guilty of not cleaning my gril after each use. The grate gets a brushing once a month, but the lava rocks & jets..try last year. Good thing my neighbors aren't too close :)
Dear Snobby next-door "neighbor: The reason that I haven't met you is because I run when I see you or any of your high-falutin' keeping up with the Jone's Lexus'. Really sorry about the whippet thingy – bring him over and we'll have a real barbecue! If you didn't notice by the American Flag on the back of my Chevrolet, I am an American and proud of it, not some snotty little French princess who looks down her (Rather exaggerated) nose at everyone around her. I've got a Rotweiler with one ball named Lucky that would love to meet your little whippet in case you don't want to attend that real barbecue that I invited you to; oh and by the way, he loves barbecue sauce. Yeah, I use a propane grill because I can't afford to have Mesquite imported from Mexico or brought from Arizona and frankly I don't want that in my food anyway. The only wood I have is in my shorts, and you don't like meat of any kind anyway. I like Iowa corn-fed beef – not the smoked veggies on the grill. Your can keep your grilled radicchio and asparagus salad to yourself, and BTW, that's why your dog runs when he smells barbecue because he probably thinks that you're going to try to feed him the crap that you cook on your gold-plated 2-stroke digital wood-burning Hammacher Schlemmer wood burning "grill". Have a nice day.
wow .... you weren't breastfed were you?
He was breastfed by YOUR MOM.
the mom jokes never get old
I don't think you belong in Brooklyn
LOL.... Well I got my chuckle for the day..... Let me guess... You're from Texas? You sure sound a lot like my neighbor.
Great article. Love the description of the grill mine use to look like that. I finally found an easy why to clean my grill. I cut half an onion with the onion knife, then put the larger half in the grillion and it amazingly removes everything.
I also use The Grillion and I love it! You will no longer have to have grills that have all the grime and grease on them. It's amazing how well an onion works to clean the grill. Oh, and it smells great while you are cleaning instead of that burnt grease smell, nice benefit!
Whoa – I just looked up the Grillion. I do believe I have some scientific experimentation ahead.
Just close your window!
We did! And put the vent on. Didn't help at all.
Why should she – and every other person in the neighborhood – be forced to live with their windows closed, not be able to cook their own dinner, nor be outside, just because 1 person can't grill? That's not fair to her or anyone else.
Kat, I'd personally call the fire department next time – report a tire fire or something. :)
I'd personally call YOUR MOM. Bah, you're too easy a target.
YES! LOL! That would be awesome to see their faces when the NYFD showed up "uh, we had a complaint about some noxious fumes coming from the area ... oh, I see your trying to cook something ... was that meat? ... yeah, we're going to have to ask you to stop doing that"
Loved this article, and can't get over how many people think Kat is actually speaking to her neighbors as opposed to making a general comment about poor grilling. Lighten up!
Exactly!
I personally have neighbors who have a smoker and grill. Every weekend the most wonderful scents come floating in from their cook outs.... I can't relate to 'neighbors' who don't know how to grill. However, my father in law, on the other hand, if it's not shoe leather or worse coming off the grill, it's not cooked.
Oh dear comment people, some of us don't want to know our neighbors that badly. I will never be rude and not say hello if I see them in the driveway, not do something if I saw someone breaking into their home, etc...and I assume over the years that we would naturally get to know each other a bit. But in general, I don't want to be all that sociable, sorry. I want to go to work everyday, come home to my own place that I paid for with hard work -and enjoy that home. And be left alone. I don't mean to be rude but I work hard and when at home I want to relax. If I want to entertain, I'll send an invitation. These days some people think it's sooo rude to not go out of your way to be a super social schmoozer. Sorry, never been me and is never going to be me. If you think thats rude then too @%!$ bad. If I could live in the country with a 1/2 mile between houses, trust me, I would. You do what you want and I won't bother you, unless it interrupts my life; and you can do the same. Call it snobbery if you want I don't care. As far as the article goes, If the smoke is that disgusting to you, then you should say something. You don't have to do the sideways thing, just save everyone some time and be direct. But keep in mind maybe they aren't fond of your dog poo in the yard (or cigarettes, or early morning naked yoga session or...) and might say something back. So decide how much it bothers you first and be prepared.
I agree with the writer. I cant stand the smell that those outdoor barbeques dispense. I find it nauseating.
It seems the majority of "articles" on eatocracy are full of snobbery and idiocy. It's nice to see you're keeping with the tradition.
The author is doing what American's do best. Whining and sniveling.
I guess its time for you to move.
Or maybe, just maybe, it is not your business how your neighbors like their meat?...
Dear Kat
Make you a deal.
(1) Clean up after that dog of yours so I don't have to smell it's crap
(2) Muzzle it, I'm sick and tired of it's barking
(3) Learn to close your windows, you are by far too overweight to be flashing your rolls every night
(4) I forgot to mention, now that it's getting hot out I'm going to grill outside every night
Signed, your neighbors
I'll make YOU a deal
1. There's no waiting in the STFU cafe. Have a seat, have a seat.
2. You're the reason there are deed restricted communities. Gotta get rid of that self-righteous stench somehow.
3. You forgot to heed QOE's command to take that stick out of your azz. You'll need to to make room for what you chose behind ....
4. .... Curtain #3! It's a goat head you can use to shove firmly up your azz.
Enjoy your day!
At least the dog's sh!t smells much better than what you are "cooking"
Oh, honey... please learn the difference between "it's" and "its" and use them correctly.
Suspect that Kat was just looking for an easy column to write and fill her square for the day. She doesn't sound like she knows anything about grilling and I believe she's probably a vegan. Grills make smoke.....period ! The guy next door shouldn't stop grilling.............you should close your windows. If your whippet is retarded, it's not the griller's fault. Go over and have a beer with them and stand upwind so you don't get smoked. What a jerk !
The whippet is apparently smarter than you.
Most certainly not a vegan! http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2010/07/12/a-day-two-pigs-would-die/
And not all smoke is created equal. Wood smokes, but so do tires.
did someone say smokes? pass that over here.
Do a little research, find out for yourself ... google "Kat Kinsman" and see what pops up
you're an idiot
My BGE smells up the place, but it's soft and smoky. Many people have wood fireplaces so most of the year it has that wood burning smell like a campfire.
You live in the city!!!!!!! Clean air, are you kidding. I guess after we ban the grill and smoking you will be the one to start the petition to ban cars and hey what the heck, people you can no longer heat your homes because the exhaust from your furnace duct is interfering with my clean air. I grew up on a farm and some smart people thought it would be wise to build a housing development across the street. Wasn't long before we got complaints of the smell of cow manure....You moved into a house across the street from a FARM, what did these people expect. If you have neighbors they might not live just like you, get over it.
This is not journalism.
What kind of phobic knob washes a grill? Why bother grilling at all?
Exactly.
I feel your pain. My neighbors have SEVEN dogs on an extremely small property. 2 of the dogs bark obsessively and constantly, and the neighbors have been non-responsive to requests to do something about it. It's beyond me why some people don't care when their actions effect others.
I am amazed that people have nothing better to do than complain and bit** about anything. For your neighbors can I be the one to say SO SORRY to actually enjoy my life the way I want to. People like you are the ones who are taking the joy out of living. If it isn't the grill I am sure you would complain about the noise from their windchime or the glare of the sun from their windows that are too clean or anything else you can possibly think of. Close your windows and turn on the air conditioner for that one hour every evening (as if, maybe once or twice a week) and watch your American Idol and complain about their horrible singing even though you would never have the guts to even step on stage.
@the author – Get the F over yourself you snobbish prick! If the smoke bothers you, then shut the window. They have every right to grill in their backyard. Did you ever think that maybe they're using a wood-chip smoke basket, and that's what you're smelling?
Did you even read the article? Read theory #3!
I'm sure if they weren't having a great time with their friends and family coming over grilling, you'd find something else about them to write/complain about. Why don't you write about what really bothers you?
Rie, if you've never been to race you wouldn't know that you're not ten feet from the car exhaust fumes like we were getting from their stinking @ss grill.
I did not read all of the replies, but, one thing I noticed is that lots of posts complain about the writer not going over to introduce themselves to the neighbor. Just a comment ....it goes both ways, the neighbor evidently hasn't introduced themselves to the writer either.
writer and neighbor each get 50% of the blame for not meeting each other.
Rather than a passive aggressive letter on a CNN blog, you probably could try walking next door and talking to your actual neighbors. Just an idea...
Yes it is an idea. The same idea that the 142 commenters before you had but thanks for chiming in.
Sorry, I didn't read every response. I've had a look at yours, now. Seems you may need to remove the stick from your a$$.
I'm sorry that you haven't met your neighbors. What a sad place you live in.
It's the blessing/curse of New York. We coexist pretty peacefully, even though we live on top of one another, but we don't necessarily get to know the people next door.
What a whiny d-bag!
I completely agree!!
Thank you for this article and the laughs I got out of it. I couldn't agree more with every point herein...somebody HAD to say it ;-)
move to the country if you don't like to live near people and the habbits of people in close quarters
what's a 'habbit'??
Isn't it that funny hat that nuns wear? I don't look good in hats so I could never be a nun...plus I'm Baptist which I'm pretty sure is not allowed in nunhood.
What kinds of meat can priests eat?
Nun.
Dat's Da Hood around da corner from The Hobbits.
see now i couldnt be a nun as i am not a big fan of the color black.. plus that whole celibacy thing would drive me nuts after a while.... and those hats are a bit ugly.... plus dont they shave their heads, or cut their hair short? not an option here...
It's a rabbit in a hat!
Alice in Wonderland came to mind. :D
your neighbors must be related to my neighbors... my closest neighbor is a good 400 yards away up the street...and i can smell their ghastly grilliing attempts every saturday afternoon. one of these days the wind will be blowing the opposite direction...
We need city laws to protect city dwellers. I've talked to my neighbors about their charcoal cancer and cigarette cancer entering my home through window and air conditioner. I've invited them to mediation. They've refused and now purposely and routinely blow smoke into my yard and home.
My family and I deserve cleaner air to breathe.
Has the CDC really equated cigarette smoke and charcoal cooking smoke? I missed that one. Someone alert CNN!
Grill hygiene folks irk the heck out of me.
That place sounds awesome! Bed bugs, smoke from nasty food everywhere, people living on top of each other. I wonder if they have anything available.
They do but you must clean your clean after every use. Who does that??
I want to personally Thank You for your tip in regards to your neighbor. We at the FBI have had these people under surveillance for some time as we believe they are members of "The Mob" and have been disposing of body's in a rather unorthodox manner. We have not been able to put our finger on the disposal method as of yet. I am sending you my personal desktop revolving fan in hopes that it will clear the air in your apartment. Again,Many Thanks and remember,If you saw something,Say something.
Best regards,
J. Edger
I sympathize with the author. The lots in our neighborhood are small, and I do know most of my neighbors including the ones next door who grill, sometimes frequently. The draft is toward our back door and window, and smoke and lighter fluid odor permeate our house. It is acrid and headache-inducing and we have asthma. Our doors and windows stay closed, yet the use of 2 fans to push the smoke out plus the stove hood vent and the A/C filtration do not help. They haven't grilled as much this summer, but the next time they do, I will be talking to them. They are nice neighbors who like to entertain, so I will feel a bit awkward asking them to refrain from grilling. Unfortunately, I don't grill so I can't advise them on what they are doing wrong.
Oh goody another article written by a {fill in the blank} snob. Grill snob, wine snob, beer snob, etc. I so love being told that they things that I do are always done the wrong way by some "Expert". Wine from a box...the horror! Domestic beer...what a rube. Gas grill...you knuckle dragging fool! Please post a few more "How I need to behave in a restaurant by some snobby waiter" articles while you are at it.
wow. if not enjoying a foul odor makes one a snob in your book i can only imagine the science projects living in your fridge. such a shame that you carry this much anger inside...i feel sorry for you.
As it happens, we did have an expert talk about box wine: http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2011/06/25/box-wine-with-serious-bang-for-the-buck/
You actually got paid you to write this..whatever it was?
if it looks like an article, smells (apropos considering the topic) like an article, and reads like an article....logic would ensue.
Open letter to the complainers and humor-deprived commenters on this thread:
Please reach behind you and pull the stick out of your rear end. It should make you more tolerable to the general populace as well as relieve the crap load of negativity that you've been carrying around for most of your, seemingly, miserable life.
@Queen of Everything@All You said:
"Please reach behind you and pull the stick out of your rear end. It should make you more tolerable to the general populace as well as relieve the crap load of negativity that you've been carrying around for most of your, seemingly, miserable life."
Were you talking to the people who post here or to the author of the article? Because I think your comment applies very well to her.
@Wendy:
Ugh. No. I do not feel better because "use(d) some of the big words", though I don't know what "big words" seemed particularly difficult for you. And this will be my last response because I am tired of addressing people who apparently don't understand clarity in written communication.
Yeah, I know what QOE said in the part i DIDN'T quote. And I understand she was trying to say the posters should get sticks out of their behind. My point was that it is the author who needed to do so and not the posters. The question I asked was what is referred to as a rhetorical question. I know that may be a "big word" for you, but please look it up so you can comprehend things a little better.
And, as to MalaDee's apology, she still didn't understand that I did not quote the entire post. That is why she fails to comprehend.
Ya know, you don't have to copy what QOE posted right above your comment. We all can read. And Kat is certainly not, as you implied, "humor deprived."
@MalaDee
Gee, thanks for your little tips. I prefer to copy it and quote it so that people understand exactly to which part of her post I was referring. It is apparently needed for people like you....can you please show me where I said Kat was "humor deprived?" You see, I didn't. I wasn't addressing the question of whether Kat is humor deprived or not. Which is why I copied only the part of the prior post to which I was referring. Despite these efforts to make it abundantly clear to which point I was referring, it STILL got lost on you. Maybe, before you impart your keen wisdom on others about how they should post and go about making their point, you should try to understand WHY they did what they did.
Reading comprehension. Welcome to the concept.
Geez, you weren't breastfed either.
Hmmm. I must have cross-referenced my comments from something else regarding "humor deprived." Apologies for the confusion.
I meant the rest of it though. You copied her entire post and it's not necessary.
@MalaDee
Actually, yes I did need to copy the part to which I was referring in order to avoid the exact confusion you experienced because you decided not to pay attention to what I had (and hadn't) copied. If you had spent a little bit more time comprehending what I did, you would not have been confused. Seriously, if you don't understand how to effectively communicate, fine, but don't try and stop others from doing it.
do you feel better now that you got to use some of the big words on your vocabulary test? it's a sad sad person that can't accept an apology when one is offered. by the way (i'm going to borrow an oldie but goody) who the heck are you to talk?? here, i'll make sure you dont misunderstand my meaning, i'll copy/paste the comments to which i refer. the queen said: "Open letter to the complainers and humor-deprived commenters on this thread", then you said: "Were you talking to the people who post here or to the author of the article? ". now, my IQ's only about 142 or something...but i'm pretty sure that it's quiite clear that the queen was NOT addressing Kat, but the posters.
@Wendy:
Ugh. No. I do not feel better because "use(d) some of the big words", though I don't know what "big words" seemed particularly difficult for you. And this will be my last response because I am tired of addressing people who apparently don't understand clarity in written communication.
Yeah, I know what QOE said in the part i DIDN'T quote. And I understand she was trying to say the posters should get sticks out of their behind. My point was that it is the author who needed to do so and not the posters. The question I asked was what is referred to as a rhetorical question. I know that may be a "big word" for you, but please look it up so you can comprehend things a little better.
And, as to MalaDee's apology, she still didn't understand that I did not quote the entire post. That is why she fails to comprehend.
ah yes... rhetoric. the comprehension of which is something you fail to grasp...and accept your failings at. such is life.. there must be at least one ignoramus on every blog...it's apparent this blog's ignoramus is you. have a good day.
Wow.
MT: Here's my thought: you're taking this waaaaay to seriously. Your hair-splitting is just making you look ridiculous. Relax. Rethink your priorities and contemplate attempting to get along with others.
Wends: Thank you for your support. :D
Says the women who decided top split the hairs of my post.
I say again, wow.
{MyThought walks away, shaking his head at these two but glad that they have each other to congratulate and they can feel good about that.}
First, I suggest that the author close her windows. And then I suggest that she set aside her snobbery. One of the things that people fail to understand is that when you live in a neighborhood, you have to accept that some people will do things that may annoy you. And depending on your level of annoyance, you must be prepared to let the other person know that their actions are annoying to you; not just writing a snarky little essay on the internet. Perhaps they don't realize they are living next door to a grill "master" who is annoyed at their incompetence.
First, let me thank you for this little tidbit of wisdom. Secondly, I'm going to take your advice and let you know that your actions are annoying. Thanks again!
I have looked at your postings
GET SOME AIR
don't sure the computer for a while, you think you are the summit of smart; you postings are annoying; walk away from the keyboard and take a break, see a movie, take off your shoes and walk in the grass, the sun is shinning outside – enjoy it
please do not post any more hate, the world will be better for it
CNN Article Fail.
Human fail.
While you're out running that errand for your mother, how 'bout picking up a sense of humor for yourself.
Mar har har de har har!
LOL.
Neighbor Epic Fail
What's with all this "alias"@"alias" stuff? Can you not see the Reply button? And it was YOUR MOM I was running that errand for, and it didn't take long. You wanna start up the your mom jokes with me or something?
That's just so you know we're talking directly to you, in response to your moronic post, as opposed to anyone else who may or may not have said something smarter or dumber than you in the same thread.
Wow – being in Socal my neighbors on one side are Korean and Indian on the other (all born in America) and their cooking flavors definitely are not in my opinion enjoyable. And I know the Indian ones are vegetarians so they probably hate when I BBQ steaks. But seriously I never thought this was an issue – you just get used to it. We take care of each others kids. The Indian doctor came over at 11:00pm even before we were friends and checked out my daughter and correctly diagnosed her before we were about to go to an emergency room. When my wife's car broke down they both offered us their extra cars. And we help out with each others pets when we travel. Being good neighbors is actually quite easy – all you have to do is have some meaningless chit chat each day, slightly make fun of each other,, drink some beer together once in a while and occasionally help each other out in need. Cooking smells arent really that important.
I would hate to think what kind of mess Kat would have caused if she had moved into our house and put up her walls.....
You'd fit right in on my block.
More than one of our neighbors burn brush and other debris all year long. Almost every day, at least one of these pyromaniacs has a fire going. This is all in spite of subdivision covenants that prohibit burning and a statewide burning ban from May 1 through Sept. 30 each year. One of the offenders is a local fireman and claims the laws don't apply to him. To smell a grill, would be a change for the better.
I do have to agree with her about the invasive fumes though. WE went to the Nascar races first of June. Got our spot, set up our tailgating camp and started cooking. Way late in the morning a group pulled in and parked beside us. They
set out a single use grill and added a bag of match lite briquets directly downwind from our shade tent so we got all their
high octane stink while we were trying to eat. They also didn't have cooking utensils or even napkins so we helped them out. They were bad neighbors but only for a couple hours of our lives.
Wait, you went to a NASCAR event and complained about the fumes from a grill??? Does anyone else think that is,um, a little strange?
Although I did like the "high octane" pun. Nice.
If there's one thing Hank Hill knows it's propane and propane accessories, I'll tell you what.
Charcoal users, your taste buds have been desensitized and you just can't taste the nasty artifical flavor that most commercial charcoal imparts on your food.
Seriously, either buy a gas grill and keep the temp low, or buy some regular old wood and discover the actual taste of the meat again, although no matter what wood you use, you are changing favor.
Although we are still lucky we do not live in the UK where they think a "grill" is a kitchen device that plugs into A/C power and their national food is prepared by a deep fryer. No wonder they are so uptight.
At first glance I though your name was "Tendertits" and I spit my coffee out all over my desk.
Wow, people really get bothered by the stupidest stuff. Really? THAT bothers you? Wow you might have to smell some smoke. Close a window, or seal the cracks in your windows so it doesn't come in. At least they're not being obnoxiously loud, blocking your driveway, letting their dog run loose around the neighborhood, or having public fights.
Wow, I can't believe people....most of you need to know this was a "grilling tips" article disguised with a cute little "neighbor" story...........and here a boatload of azzclowns are taking the article as literal........... Geez...............
Please never let this creepy woman write a piece for you again. It's like reading something by a high school kid.
Geeze Val. That's nice of you to say.
Wow, how did this end up on the cnn homepage? I thought I was going to be reading some helpful tips.
Close your window you whiner. I would hate to have a neighbor like you.
Yeah, so did I. I didn't know it was going to be the rantings of a self-absorbed loner who apparently is VERY close to her Whippet. I really thought it was going to be some good grilling tips. Instead I got "I hate my neighbor for having a better life than me!!!!!!!!!!"
If I lived next door to Kat, she'd soon learn not to write nasty stuff about me. What a fecal little snot! I'd be afraid to touch anything cooked by someone that mean.
Wow. I did a big laugh though from "the scrapings from the crumb tray of Satan's toaster oven." That's pretty darn specific!
I do have to agree with others though...what makes you such a BBQ master?
Full disclosure, since this is one of your "food editors:" Let some experts try her BBQ, and then her neighbor's BBQ. I bet the experts will say her stuff is too dry and flavorless.
And you put a "brother" on the first page...what are you trying to say ...that black people can't grill? what's up with the barbecue saue referal...the only thing missing is a comment about the watermelon...Anyway...the women needs a man to keep her busy...clean, cook, take care of the children...too much time leads to this type of stuff.
The sun is out, doesn't that mean that it's time for you to crawl back under your rock?
BUY A GRILL DOME, not a Big Green Egg. It is 10 times better!!! Plus you aren't stuck with an UGLY GREEN!
"I've not yet met you in person, but seemingly your friends come over each weekend to bask in the warm glow of your hospitality."
Hmm. All these people ragging on Kat for not introducing herself but it seems like the neighbors are equally guilty. They don't exactly seem like introverts, either.
This article should have been checked over by a proofreader. I can't believe the author is a managing editor. Why does she offer up the use of a neighbor's expensive smoker to the people she despises?
This article just screams "written late at night by someone who's been drinking." Really awful and insulting. Not Kat's fault for being whiny, but her boss should get a talking-to.
Kat's article is drawing people to post, and it is fun to read the thoughts about it
Cool story bro
That's why I hate neighbors- inconsiderate morons like this and the pretentious idiots like the author.
Typical boorish Americans using a gas grill. When you develop some more refined tastes (if ever), you will discover charcoal.
Dear Kat
Since you're way too high & mighty to knock on the door & introduce yourself, and resort instead to ranting like a spoiled brat on the internet, you can eff off.
Love,
Your Neighbor
LOL.. probably the best comment :)
Dude, everything you say in this article is wrong! First, you compalin about your neighbors but apparently haven't taken the time to meet them. They have a lot of people over – perhaps they're actually cool, fun-loving people – unlike, apparently, you.
Second, you have a Whippet? Who "basks" in "dappled sunlight" on the "chaise"? Could you get more fruity/gay than that?
Most importantly of course, you're dead wrong about how to grill. First NEVER clean a gas grill – the gunk and grease is what makes the food taste good. You claim to be an experienced griller, but you probably grill tofu and asparagus shoots and sip green tea. Most of AMERICA likes a good greasy burger cooked on a grill with a little character.
Next, you put down BBQ sauce – that's just un-AMERICAN. Globiing on BBQ sauce until it's burned to a crisp on the meat is just plain good! True grillers put it on at the beginning, in the middle and at the end. Then we put some more on the bun before we fix our burger (and throw a little on the plate to dip the burger and fries in).
Finally, if you don't like the smoke and smell of a reral AMERICAN BBQ, take your Whippet (maybe you should get a cat too) and move to Canada with all the other gay granola-eating tree-hugging losers!
Dude, Kat is not a dude. Also, stop calling people "dude". A$$hat.
DUDETTE.HA!
Stop calling people A$$hat.
No. A$$hat.
My liege, you make me laugh. Loudly. I needed that today.
Kat, I think your neighbor might be writing a piece called "An open letter to my neighbor who is very bad at writing." Seriously, I could barely plow through the first paragraph of that flowery gibberish. Stick to the grilling, put the laptop down.
So Kat you can write an open letter for everyone to see on the internet complaining about your neighbor's grilling skills but you can't go knock on the door and say "hi". Sounds pretty pompous to me.
Maybe they should grill her whippet?
but the sause goes on after cooking, don't burn the sugars
MMmmm... Whippet...
Naw – she's really skinny and pretty old. Wouldn't taste good at all. And no – not a work of fiction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMRzu5p5gP0
For all those that say go talk to your neighbor I wonder how many of you know your neighbors. This is not 1950, most folks do not know and do not want to know their neighbors, that is the truth. If you are lucky enough to live next to someone that you happen to see in the driveway and exchange pleasantries with, consider yourself fortunate.The hype around social media facilitating meeting people it is mostly a farce, once people meet face to face they usually crawl back to their computers and revel in their fantasy social world.
As for the article in general it is just another trivial content filler for bored people like us.
I would guess the neighbors are using pressure treated lumber for wood which is poison and stinks. The author may want to peep through the pickets to see if this is the case. If so it would be a great ice breaker for introducing yourself.
Are you kidding me? I know all of my neighbors within 10 houses down on each side of my house and along the other side of the street. That's what makes a great neighborhood. Maybe you should move. Sounds like your neighbors don't like you.
Too bad for you. I've known all my neighbors every place I've lived. When someone broke into my apartment, it was my neighbors who had my back. During a particularly brilliant sighting of Saturn, it was my neighbor who asked me over for a scotch, a cigar and a view through his telescope. It's my neighbors who gave my kids candy on Halloween. And it's my neighbors to whom I give diapers and and sparkling wine when they have babies.
Thank you for your condolences Brett and Ed but I am doing fine. I was referring to most folks, I am other folks. In large cities in large apt. complexes or condos and many suburban neighborhoods it is just a fact that people do not know each other. I may be inclined to move to your Mayberry someday and enjoy a cold one and a slow cooked quarter chicken.
and not something to take for granted
I love my neighbors, it is no Newberry, they have warts as do we, but really a big part of life
Have to agree with that statement. I live in a subdivision of high end homes on acreage in a country setting 15 min. to downtown. The perfect world it would seem (no fences, no crowding, all dream homes). But have never seen people so uptight about home association rules and regulations. The yearly mtg. is a big argument. And people freak if you drive over 15 miles an hour. I'm done with trying to be friendly. The last place I found friendly neighbors (Ok, well, ONE friendly one) was in Iowa. MI, NY, CA and OR (a little step up) not so much. I would say to that person with the smoke issue – "close your window"....I can't say I've ever smelled a bad bbq. It sounds more like the author of this piece could be a migraineur, in which case, any type of smell could trigger a headache.
I agree with Sven, glad i don't have a crotchety neighbor like that.
Maybe this moron could go over there and let them know. Who knows...maybe they'll cook 'em a Whaaaamburger and French Cries.
ha ha ha...
if you're using sauce from a bottle, then it doesn't matter if you're "globbing it on" or "daubing it on – sparingly". What it means is you shouldn't be putting other people down for not knowing how to grill. Make your own sauce, then we'll talk.
Glad I'm not your neighbor. You seem like an uptight woman that needs to be "pleased" once in a while.
You are not the one who should giving advice about pleasing a woman.
Sorry honey. I promise not to hurt you this time.
You'd have to find it first, my dear.
Here's another tip for gas grillers; make the investment and spend a few more bucks if you really want good product year after year. After years of buying cheap grills that I had to rebuild every year or so (burners, etc.) I finally stepped up and bought a Weber Genesis. Holy cow what a difference! Stainless steel grill plates (which I wash every time), stainless steel burners (that have lasted 10 years). The heat is consistent (no hot/cold spots). Weber, you have ruined me. I have seen the light and can never go back. :-)
Yeah!!! Weber all the way. I just bough my first grill and could tell just by looking at them in the store that Weber had all other manufacturers beat by far. I just got the little Weber Spirit...but it's obvious to me already that it's going to last years.
Save up and step up to the Big Green Egg. You may never cook inside your house again!
I have an antique Sunbeam $100.00 unit, with some practice, it makes excellent food. I've not rebuilt it, though I've cleaned the tubing of resident spiders, as they were behind on their rent.
Yesterday, I finally replaced the "flavor" bar, as the original that came with this aging relic had turned to near dust. The burner is getting a bit disreputable as well, that might get replace next OR I'll bang the piggy bank against the wall and get that nice $400.00 unit I saw a the store, with its ceramic searing burner.
I've got some nice pictures of my grilling some ribs in 2 1/2 feet of snow, so I DO use that thing a lot!
Husband packed up and left in April. I got the Weber and all the power tools. Excellent compensation if you ask me.
As someone said, gas grills are for noobs. I would like to write an open letter to my family: Just because you are 30 years my elder does not mean you can man the grill with any sort of superiority. Your food is bland, boring, and not very fun to eat. I could make you delicious grilled stuffs, but you all inherently b**ch about everything that isn't boring meat and cheese.
You gotta love the rich old f-rts who buy a $2500 stainless steel beast with 462 different burners and cooking surfaces, who proceed to lord their hardware superiority over you, and then serve you a hockey puck with a slice of American cheese on it and say, "See? This grill is great!"
I've frequently been told that both my mother got distemper shots and chased fire trucks and mail men AND that my parents were never married. I have no idea WHY some say that.
That said, when presented with that hockey puck with cheese, I HAVE handed it back and mentioned that I do not play hockey AND summer is NOT hockey season, but I WOULD enjoy something edible.
I'd consider commenting on the ultra high tech epic failure, but then audibly ponder that NASA rammed a billion dollar probe into Mars, getting metric and imperial confused, THIS error is similar...
@Brian: Wow, you have some real "I hate daddy" issues. Seriously, the next time you go to a family grilling party, put down the attitude and enjoy you family instead of fuming inside that no one likes your grilling.
Brian, being at least 30 years your senior, I've cooked over REAL coal, over charcoal, over gas, over a gasoline burner, even with hot rocks.
I'll be happy to show you REAL cooking, as my food is NEVER bland. Indeed, the FIRST I sent home when I redeployed home from the Persian Gulf region was box upon box of spices, some of which are nearly impossible to get here in the US.
I'm also that maniac that puts corn, still in its husk, into the grill to cook. I've NEVER had a complaint, as the silk converts to simple sugars to flavor the corn even more.
So, we ancients DO know far more than you, well, some of us. Others couldn't cook if they retained a chef to hold their hands and I honestly suspect that some could screw up the recipe for ice cubes.
Oh boy. You are way off base with point #3. Wood pellets ARE real wood. Just because they're made from sawdust doesn't mean they're not made from a bigger piece of wood. And they're not "toxic-smelling little chunks of chemicals" either. They're made by compressing sawdust under high pressure, causing the natural lignin in the wood to bind the sawdust together. Not only that, but they leave a much smaller environmental impact footprint since burning wood pellets is very efficient and emissions are very low compared to burning wood chunks. World-class barbecue can be made with smokers designed to use high quality wood pellets.
Oh, and one more thing. There's a lot of debate about the merits of soaking wood chips or chunks in water or beer. A good case can be made that the wood doesn't absorb the liquid during the hour or so someone soaks the wood.
And yes, I do agree that the Big Green Egg is a very good smoker.
Thank you for pointing this out. Unless Kat is using pellets made for wood stoves, these are great for adding smoke and running my Traeger. Granted some brands use only a percentage of the woods they state their pellets are, some are almost pure.
Wow, folks, this is a light humor piece and it has triggered self-righteous ranting about human relations and gas vs. charcoal. Some of these lectures about how to relate to other people suggest that the posters have no idea how to do so themselves. Smile. Have a nice day. (And watch the trolls pile onto me.)
I think the response has been spot on
a peice that attacks a neighbor is so crafty... but a peice that doesn't rely on social spitefulness would have been better
I love Kat's writing, including this one... but Kat meet your neighbor
I see a lot of vile crap on comment boards. Then, every once in awhile, I see a story and comment group that is absolutely priceless. Such is this piece in my humble opinion. (The tip about putting the BBQ sauce on last was one of the highlights). :-)
Come to Texas Bob. You belong with us sir knight.
How passive aggressive is this? Post an open letter for all the internet to see, but not go over to introduce yourself and give a few grilling tips. Here's an open letter for you:
Dear Kat,
Stop acting like a 13-year old and say hello to your neighbors. It would be the neighborly thing to do.
Katherine
This is not passive aggressive. It's a BLOG about something that annoys her? Don't you think it would be kind of RUDE to go over to the new neighbors, introduce yourself and oh by the way, you're grilling wrong.
Yeah. Not tactful at all.
Obviously she can't go to them and complain. It would be rude and cause unneeded tension between them. All she's doing is getting her frustration out in a blog. Same thing I do when I go on my own and write, "Had another irritating encounter with the intarweb drone army again today."
Taking the fact that you NEVER walked over there, however are posting an open letter to the masses, says alot about your character. Do you know that a lot of us that grill leave the grill on to get rid of whatever might be ON the grill in the 1st place? I'm so glad that you have such a high thought of yourself and what you are and are not entitled to – as suggesting what someone else might do on THIER time and with THEIR property and with THEIR food that is purchased with their money – that they will consume. Something tells me it's time for you to get the stick out of your behind and move along.
I think you're more upset and angry about this article than the "neighbors" would be if they read it. Relax. It's not about you, and even if it were, it's lighthearted. Stupid, but lighthearted.
And this is what happens when you write an open letter to the public that is clearly pointing towards something *you* cannot stand, however, you have seriously flawed logic in the statements you make. Kat has zero idea what's going on next door – however, instead of being the adult, chooses to take pen in hand – and write about it to us. Which is simply asking for the masses opinion in return. I'm completely calm.. not angry at all. Not cussing – simply do not understand the uneducated self right actions of others at all.
Good point on the fence and never speaking with them. How bout being a regular human and talk instead of being an intraverted weirdo and blogging about it. bet you went to bed thinkin you're the wittiest dude stompin the yard.
Course if you came over to my "apartment" and tried to complain about smoke from a fire I would tell you where you can get off.
So you want your neighbor to come over so you can cuss them out? You're an IDIOT and the reason wy whiny little morons like the author of the article write this stupid crap/ Grow up.
Jeeez Kat! Grow up and go talk to your neighbor. I would love to see the open letter written by your neighbor. "I have this crazy neighbor who is always spying on me, won't come over to say hello. Not a very nice person".
Grow up, be a big person, and go talk to yoru neighbor!
Heck, I'd probably run next door and bring a case of beer and something to throw on the grill. Keep in mind these are the same neighbors who will likely be the first to notice if someone tries to kick in your back door while you're out of town visiting relatives. Good idea to get to know your neighbors... and while you're there, teach them a thing or two about grilling. They'll thank you for it! ;D
Dear Kat,
Grow a pair, walk next door, introduce yourself to your neighbor, and invite him/her over for a cookout at your house and show them how grilling is really done. Or in the least, instead of being an incessant whiner, you could politely tell them their grillin stinks!
I bet if you're neighbor wrote an open letter to you, it would be penned "Dear Neighbor who thinks her shizz don't stink..."
Amen
It never occurs to most of them just to casually approach someone that bothers them and let them know why. To them, the first thing that pops into their heads is an elaborate scheme of gossip and passive aggressive but anonymous letters put into their mail box and on their front door.
I don't like you. Is that direct enough for you?
now that is communication
You misspelled that first word in your screen name. Instead of "Y-o-u" it should have been "I"
I have a thought....I lived in an apartment building and had two cats. The caretaker of the building told me to never let the cats out because they will disappear. Apparently in some cultures it is O.K. to eat cat meat and of course I would happen to have neighbors that came from this culture. Maybe what they are grilling isn't supposed to smell like hamburgers and brats?
the neighborly thing to do wouldn't be asking someone else for some kind of egg smoking device, it would be to approach them on the subject instead of writing a vague, douchey article.
That's what I'm saying. And what the h***, does she have uber sensitive smell receptors or something? Is her neighbor cooking toxic waste? I've been grilling in Texas since I could walk as have all my neighbors and I've never experienced what she describes. H***, even the burn-off from the previous grill session smells good.
And BBQ sauce isn't always applied at the very end. You do it about 3/4-4/5 way for indirect cooking on things like chicken and ribs if you want some cooked in BBQ flavor. For direct grilling, you do it after it is cooked but you can leave it on to grill just a little longer with the BBQ sauce to cook in a little – but you have to be attentive and flip constantly so it doesn't burn...but you want it hot...right up to the point where it is about to caramelize. Also, with brisket, you should start mopping with a vinegar-BBQ mix early on. The same goes for ribs if you are using a BBQ mop (I don't...I use a 1-1-1 white vinegar, water, dijon mustard mop).
Not that I'm a chef or anything but I know my d*** BBQ...
Apparently you know your *** key as well.
I'm in Corpus Dave. Next time I am in H-town can I come by your house for a good grilling? I will bring the steak, chicken, and pork ribs if you do the cooking.
My mouth is watering now brother, must get steaks and mushrooms on the way home.
I kind of have to agree with Alex on this one. Why not buy an 18 pack of beer and casually invite yourself over. Passive agressive complaining generally accomplishes the opposite of what you'ld like to happen. While you're there, mention that you have some chicken parts back home in the refrigerator or better yet, show him the simple beauty of beer can chicken.
This one's for you, Ed G.: http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2011/07/01/breaking-down-the-fence-do-you-eat-with-your-neighbors/
CNN.com news?
looking for news, do your self (and us) a favor and subscribe to a newspaper dropped at your door
or go to the CNN.com homepage or US NEWS or World NEWS sections. get off the eatocracy BLOG if you're looking for news. dope.
I'll ask, how is being called an idiot a part of a sense of humor?
I'm betting it will result in further insult
You could always try.. you know... talking to them.
go talk to your neighbor instead of writing an open letter he will probably never read. such a waste of time, i want three minutes of my life back.
Why? It's not as if you would have done anything profoundly impressive during those 3 minutes anyway.
*Like*
i'm sure he could have found something to do with those 3 minutes – that's all it would take him. :)
Well, the first sign of someone who doesn't know how to grill is obviously the gas grill. Gas is for show; charcoal is for pros.
Lah-de-dah and not accurate. If you know what you're doing you can grill excellent food on a gas grill. If you don't, you can grill something that tastes like roadkill on a charcoal grill. Value knowledge and skill, not tool snobbery.
The product of burning gas is water vapor which "protects" the meat from the smoke. So you can't really get good flavor with gas. Might as well broil.
Actually, the first sign of someone who does not know how to grill is when someone makes a generalization like that. Gas, charcoal, lump, or pure wood all have their plusses and negatives. I don't have a green egg though :(
a rhyme for every occasion
I want to slow a cook a hog in the back yard (buried layers of hot coals and all that)
that says summer all over it
You bloody savage!! JK . . . I actually agree with you. Gas grills suck big time.
I agree that gas grills SUCK, or at least, I've never gotten the hang of 'em...you have to change out the lava rocks between every grilling, and keep a squirt bottle at the ready as they catch on fire. Give me a charcoal grill EVERY TIME.
My thoughts exactly! (Well, one of my thoughts. The other one was that this person should meet his neighbors. They might even extend an invitation to one of their cookouts, at which point recipe ideas and tips could be exchanged in a neighborly environment. As in "so, what do you use to clean this thing? I use a brass brush, but I'm always looking for new ideas.".)
Food's ALWAYS better on the gas grill. Other forms get particulate on and in the meat. Love eating chunks of ash with my burgers, I'll stick to gas thanks. Much better control with gas as well. Charcoal's for neanderthals.
What, particulates as in "smoke"? That's an integral part of grilling, heathen. If you're so determined to have bland food, why don't you stick to the range in your kitchen, nancy boy?
Huh???? Charcoal's for neanderthals? Tell that to Bobby Flay! You must be a little light in the loafers! Let me guess, New York city boy, right? The kinda town where neighbors would actually complain about the smell of charcoal bbq with hickory chunks for smoke... sigh...
My father uses a gas grill only now (out of laziness). I took away his BadAzz Texan identification card. He tried to take it back but I thumped him on the nose and told him he could have it back when he acted like a Texan again instead of some pansie yankee.
He actually gets his feelings hurt that I won't eat anything off of it (especially steak, he has got be kidding thinking I would eat a gas grilled steak). The nerve of him to do such a thing, being from Texas and all. Next thing he is going to tell me is he wears women's panties now, about the same as using a gas grill if you ask me.
I think maybe you are not doing it right.
I know how to grill, and I use gas. I can come home after a long day at work, turn on the grill, and 30 minutes later have a great steak dinner... while you are just getting the coals out of the chimney starter.
If you're so concerned about how long it takes you to make dinner, why don't you just order out or microwave a hot pocket. Grilling isn't about getting it done as fast as possible. It's about getting it done right.
Because I don't own a microwave – why would I? They aren't good for anything but fast cooking, and heating veggies. You try working a 10 hour day, drive home, and then be asked "what's for dinner" sometime when it's 90+ outside. A burger or steak grilled on gas at home is still far better than take out.
I agree w/ Chris, you are being lazy and unmanly. No point in making excuses for it. Feel free to do it your way, but it is still the wrong way and a very unmanly way to go about things altogether. You get your nails done and wear socks with your sandals too don't ya.
Why, Yes, I do get my nails done – considering I'm a woman! LOL
FAIL
Nice Mare, very nice.
Well done, I walked right into it.
I'm with you, Mare! After working a full-time job and not getting home until 7pm, sometimes firing up the gas grill is the best option for a half-decent supper for the kiddies (I have four!). When my options are a grilled piece of meat vs. a microwave dinner... gas-grilled meat wins every time. ^5 We grilling ladies need to stick together! :-)
It's amazing how much of a pompus A$$ people are when they are on the internet. You people are idiots.
You got it. Give the poor poeple a break (assuming they are not fictional).
people who call others idiots need a little self evaluation
And it's amazing how many people have no sense of humor anymore.
Must be a tea bagger.
Thanks for noticing my fellow pompous azz. No go fk yourself in the glory and power of the Lord, sweet sweet baby Jesus.
I take it you're new here
Close your kitchen window and quit complaining....
Pathetic that you have an 8ft high fence between you and your neighbor whom you've never met. Not much of a neighbor yourself it seems.
Amen
i agree! it pathetic someone will write a piece on their neighbors and not actually go talk to the neighbors.
Come over to my house and 'try' to have a talk with me about the things I do that irritate you. I haven't violently assaulted another man in over a year. Practice is important when one wants to stay above par concerning aggression and intimidation. I would appreciate the opportunity to tear your ear off or hit you so hard in the throat that it ruptures you esophogus ( did I spell that right? oh who cares except for the grammar (spelled that wrong too didn't I ) nazis.
Anyway, my best advice to my fellow Americans (btw – none of you are worthy of being called an american) is to mind your own business. People do not compromise anymore, they just get even. Took me twenty years to realize that the way my parents raised me (decency, honor, respect, integrity, love for your fellow americans) is all BS. No good deed ever went unpunished for me and although I have alot of guilt for being the lil' fk that I am now, it beats getting picked on and fkd w/ for being a nice guy. You want success in America and safety from the scum, you have to be worse than the scum, more ruthless, and more clever. Trust me, nothing feels better than seeing the badazzez avoid you like a plague – the best compliment a fellow man can give me.
I wouldn't call it pathetic, or yes maybe that is the word
what is wrong with finding out who you live next too
they have medicine at the Px for bed bugs et al
Exactly. I hope I'm her neighbor. She's just jealous that people have friends.
Those were exactly my thoughts as I read this article. Kat sounds like a neighbor from hell. She complains because her neighbor is grilling in their backyard????? Well, take your over-sensitive self and move to a quiet private island where no one will ever intrude upon your desired exclusion from all sights, sounds and smells of real life. Man, you would suck as a neighbor. If you won't such a crab-azz, he probably would have invited you over.
Your neighbor probably just lights a smoky fire to get your yappy dog out of his face.
Eggsackly. Article was supposed to be funny I guess, but it just made the author come off as an eliteist whiner.
Do you really think Kat has issues with a neighbor? Or could it be possible that she is writing an article about grilling and giving tips on how successfully get the most out of the experience but wrote it with a little flare rather than in the standard "do this/don't do that" method?
now I'm going to look for the hidden messages in traffic signs... I have been missing the point the whole time, a 'stop' sign isn't really a stop sign, it is just a method to illustrate something else
thank you for showing me that I just don't get it
Well Kitten,obviously the previous family living next to you has now moved next to me. They have graduated up to a barrel smoker,and one of them must work at a lighter fluid factory in Houston. It is tough when I go outside to smoke a cigarette in my own backyard and am afraid to Flic my Bic not knowing if this action on my part will set the skies on fire. Geez,how many cans of fluid did you put on that wood and charcoal to get it lit? Oh and btw,Please buy a larger axe instead of the little tomahawk you are now using to split your wood logs,while banging them loudly on your concrete patio. May I recommend Banging the logs against your head? Yea,That would be the neighborly thing to do.
Yes, because most neighbors would rather smell putrid after-smoke from cigarettes and festering ash trays than 30 seconds of pre-ignite lighter fluid.
I would rather smell the cig than lighter fluid! If you read the post, the neighbors are using excessive fluid = excessive fumes.
I'd rather smell neither "aroma". but then I have a charcoal chimney and don't use lighter fluid. my slow smoked offerings taste better because of it.
I have reached 5 sometimes before full satuation
quite a show when you light it, but you do lose your eye brows
In Houston, you don't need much lighter fluid to get the coals going. I use much more than necessary but that's because I like to get a hot even burn going so I don't have to mess with it again until it is ready. I'm furiously prepping the food while the coals light. I like uniform coals and if you put enough fluid in there to cause a temporary air-igniting firestorm under the coals, then every coal will be perfect and ready at exactly the same time.
If you live at altitude (I'm talking over 8000'), you have to saturate the pit and often have to come back half-way through to heat up the pit with a little more fluid. You need all coals burning hot and even and you need good ventilation if you have a lot to put on the pit.
if you just use a charcoal chimney you wouldn't need any lighter fluid
why use lighter fluid at all? Buy a chimney starter and never use lighter fluid again! Your food will taste so much better. I don't care how much people say the lighter fluid burns off and you don't taste it, I always taste the lighter fluid on the food, no matter how long the person waits to put food on. I don't even have to be there when the grill is lit, I can always tell, and I'm right about 95% of the time.
Why not make a charcoal chimney out of a #10 can and save the cost...that's what we did as kids, and it works just fine!
@Katy- Yeah! We used a couple of coffee cans with both ends open- perfect!
Hmmmm... maybe you could arrange an open grilling class/party for your neighbors? Invite the whole block so they don't know you're targeting them?
Alot of people...adults especially don't like being told what to do, so I dont know how holding a class would work
Ok, label it as a party and have it be a secret class/lead by example?
No joke, you try to give advice (especially w/ a pompous know it all attitude) in my 'hood' you will get shot or stabbed. Right or wrong, consideration and compromise are unknown in the 78404. A shout out to the `16th St. Posse. Thanks for not fkn w/ me like y'all do the other (and only other) white neighbors in the neighborhood. Those folks ain't got no street smarts. I feel sorry for them. Too nice of people to be living in my neighborhood.
A crack head asked the dude for a dollar a few weeks back and when the dude went for his wallet the crackhead hit him over the head with a brick and took the wallet and his wedding ring. When are you white folks going to learn to stop being nice and considerate and start acting demanding, rude, and scary like the minorities. That is what me and my wife do and they are pretty much scared shtless of us. The bald head and multiple visible knives I carry doesn't hurt.
David,
STFU.
seriously. you sound bent as a corkscrew and don't get it twisted, I mean gay.
if you lived in my neighborhood I would take you for a walk which is to say you would be my b!tch...
but of course I jest; I have no use for a bald, knife-wielding idiot. so, if you lived in my neighborhood I'd make your girl my b!tch and simply ignore you.
but here, on this page, I had to call you out because your posts reek of... no, not tough guy bad-assery, no, your posts reek of prepubescent desperation. see, the truth is, your head is not shaved and you don't have a wife. you have a curly head of hair and a Playboy tucked under the mattress.
and that, my feisty little munchkin, is all.
now run along and let the big boys talk about grilling.
My condolences to your and your whippet's suffering. Hopefully your message will be heeded. If not, next time they grill, maybe if you print out your letter, tie it to a rock and lob IT over the fence they'll get the message. ;)
It is very annoying to have inconsiderate neighbors. We have reclaimed water in our 'hood that everyone uses to water their lawns – except one guy. He decided to sink a well. When he waters, his is the only water that reeks of sulfur and the stink pollutes the rest of the 'hood.
Best of luck getting thru to your neighbors.
but... meeting your neighbors might be a good thing to do
I did not read all of the replies, but, one thing I noticed is that lots of posts complain about the writer not going over to introduce themselves to the neighbor. Just a comment ....it goes both ways, the neighbor evidently hasn't introduced themselves to the writer either.
writer and neighbor each get 50% of the blame for not meeting each other.
and Kat take the first step
The reason why the author is blamed more than the neighbors for not introducing oneself to one's neighbors is because the author is the one complaining. If you don't introduce your neighbors but don't whine about them, no one cares. If you want to whine, do something about it first. THEN you have the right to whine.
Just because you have neighbors does not mean you have to introduce yourself and get to know them. And it's not because you are being anti-social it's because you don't have to get to know everybody you live next to.
Furthermore, it's a 2 way street here. One shouldn't have to go out of their way to introduce oneself if the other hasn't tried. So, Kat shouldn't be blamed for not going over and introducing herself or educating them on the do's and don't of grilling.
Don't tie the note to a rock and throw it over the fence! Tie it to a fire extinguisher and lob THAT over the fence. The preferred location for the lobbing would be from the apartment roof, aimed at the source of the toxic smoke.
LOL!! Thanks, I needed that!
This article is most likely pure fiction, including the whippet - or at least greatly, greatly exaggerated. She has to earn money somehow, and writing "amusing" articles is her way. Exaggeration is the novice writer's route to what she thinks of as humor. Subtlety is beyond her. If by any chance she really does have such a neighbor, has she tried inviting them over for her own grilled meal? Or is that the subject of another "amusing" article, featuring a homicidal-maniac neighbor?
Troll! Your table is ready at the STFU cafe!
Amen, A. Nony.
She might have also had someone proofread her work too as there are some spelling mistakes.
She's a CNN Food Editor. Amazing, ain't it?
Pretty harsh there, miss (or mr.) Nony. Kat does, indeed, have a whippet. And this isn't exactly her first job writing articles about food.
This is her style of writing. She likes to put oddly descriptive details into the narrative. I think that you'll find that most blog writers and opinion writers do the same. It is not the same writing style as hard news, nor should it be.
The spelling errors... I think Kat needs an intern minion there to order around and check spelling. I'm sure
so you know she has a pet, must be a friend of hers sticking up for her on the blog
most noble of you
I am not sure any of these postings are all THAT harsh, and the level of harshness can be balanced against the harshness of Kat's own article
Snarktocracy. They multiply like rabbits. Funny until someone really does get killed.