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One night at a party, many years back, talk turned - as it often does at the very best soirees - to incumbent governors of Massachusetts. I've always asserted that the friend with whom I was chatting that fateful evening could, if he so chose, pass for member of the Kennedy family. Fine head of hair on that kid to this very day, and so I just assume everything that comes from his mouth as pertains to Bay State politics to be indisputable fact. "Mint Romney," he said, "Will run for president someday." The kickoff of the Presidential debates earlier this week did nothing to stifle my madness, nor did ideas and eggings-on from co-workers like This Just In editor Mallory Simon and my boss Cybil Wallace. I've gone ahead and gotten Share your best faux ice cream flavor names for the remaining Republican presidential candidates (we're all stuck on what to do with Michele Bachmann) - keep 'em respectful and rated PG - and you just might see them illustrated in the next edition of Rocky Road to the White House. |
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The meaning of the phrase "ice cream" varies from one country to another. Phrases such as "frozen custard", "frozen yogurt", "sorbet", "gelato" and others are used to distinguish different varieties and styles. In some countries, such as the United States, the phrase "ice cream" applies only to a specific variety, and most governments regulate the commercial use of the various terms according to the relative quantities of the main ingredients.
Merci pour ce joli blog. C'est tres bien.
If Herman Cain was an ice cream sundae – the flavor would be OREO COOKIE
When Blacks in this country stop thinking being well educated and successful is being an "oreo cookie", they will finally be free.
John Hunnyman – Ice cream sundae with honey
Larry Craig's All Men Joy
sheesh, you right wingers need to lighten up, it's ice cream, it's silly. The irrational, hateful rhetoric spewed by some of these commentators is precisely why I'm a conservative that can't stand Republicans.
C'mon Republican you can't tell me that you don't think that that mint green on Romney's head is funny? or the Gingrich one? I mean c'mon. For two seconds, can't you just laugh. You know you can't look at that mint swirl and not laugh?? :-)
Oh, but NO! You thought Obama Welfare Bucks with fried chicken and Kool-Aid and dressed as an African witch woctor, a monkey and a p1mp was HILARIOUS and "just a joke" and that "libtard" should get a sense of humor. Or even better you pulled out the First Amendment whole, freedom of "speech" spiel.....But THIS you don't find funny? If it had been one with just Obama as a half chocolate half vanilla scoop with a white swirl on top that looked like a turban on his head, you would have been rofl....humorless bunch of hypocrites..
Where's the Obama flavor? You know the one in a waffle cone filled with bull sh1t
C'mon. You could say that about any politician. Try being original.
Calm down with a David Vitter Diaper Delight.
Hey, various prog douchenozzles, Comrade Zero has us now involved in 4 wars.
Had it not been for "enhanced interrogations", a base in Afghanistan and an expanded special forces cadre (all done under Bush), your boy narcissist would still be looking under golf carts for OBL.
The Zero is gone in 2012.
How about we name all the fruitcakes at CNN after the turds they resemble most from the Bristol stool chart.
That would be hilarious.
Partisan hacks.
Obana Ice Cream – DoucheTracks
Michele Bach-"Monster Cherry Mash" or Michelle Oba-"Monster Cherry Mash". Maraschino cherries, peanuts, and chocolate - I don't care who it's named after, I would eat that (and I bet Bobby/Boris would too - if you don't get the reference I'm probably a lot older than you)!
How about "Bachmann Truffle Overdrive" for Michelle Bachmann?
How about the Michele Bachmann Twin Peaks Ice Cream Log Lady Roll. But then again, they're all Nutty Buddies....
Let's see... you've got your classic vanilla, french vanilla, fat free vanilla, soy vanilla, organic vanilla, and vanilla bean flavours.
Gotta love the having the illusion of choice!
Since Michele Bachmann is from Minnesota and a darling of the Tea Party, what about "Michele Bachmann's Twin City Tea Party Twist"? Lemon and rasberry flavored ice cream (also popular flavors in iced tea) would be a fun twist on the usual chocolate/vanilla twist.
Now everyone has to vote for Ron Paul because he is the only candidate who isn't ice cream.
GOP ice cream = Whopper from the Right
The label on the container shows chocolate ice cream with halved malted milk balls in it. But you open it and it's really vanilla with chopped malted milk balls instead. Representative of the lies told by the GOP.
Disclaimer: this is not to say that 'Crats don't lie. Just staying on topic.
Did you notice that Sarah Palin's dessert outfit makes her look like Medusa?
WTG, CNN! How appropriate...
I agree with the rest of you that the Repubs are being over represented here. Time to tune into Fox News to see what they have to say about the subject. AKKK!!! My brain is about to deflate, and my IQ is draining away right before my eyes from all the ignorance, arrogance, and rhetoric! Switch it back to CNN, quick!
I'm a republican but yall people bashing on CNN make me insane. THIS IS A FOOD BLOG. Its called EATOCRACY. you make me upset that you are supporters of my party. yall are filled with hate as if us GOPers never criticize the other party. I saw the debate and none of it seemed about how to get us out of this deficit it was all about bashing obama. He's not the worst thing to happen since the NAZIs. He's a president. He can be voted out. He has a congress he needs to get things passed through and the house at least is majority opposition. Premier Obama you guys should be ashamed of yourselves. If you don't want to read about ice cream dont read a FRIGGING FOOD BLOG. you look stupid calling liberals mindless drones. Robots? More like people. Grow up.
Thank you for the injection of common sense. There seems to be a disturbing shortage of it around here lately.
Thank you for making clear what this was intended to be. But it is not on the web as a food blog for me it was labled as a featured news article by Sprint. There are many paths to the same destination on the net.
James I dont know what it looks like on sprint but the humongous header on my PC that takes up almost half of my screen says "Eatocracy" in an unmistakeably noticeable Pink. If you read the article than you should read more than just the content but what section of the web its on especially if you are coming from one of the "many paths."
Hear, hear!
It was listed as a CNN news link on my phone Cable News Network and even though it is a food blog it is about politics and copied from Fox where O'RIELLY called one of the Reps Vanila ice cream last Friday. Also mobile browsers may not show all you see on a desktop or laptop, and when you bring politics into food what would you expect even the writer days to keep the comments pg knowing what he was getting started.
Reload the page. There are several alternating headers (a lemon slice, lettuce leaves, etc.) and they're all better than that pink thing.
Gary Johnson Green Chili Ice Cream - unusual, full of local flavor and something that the majority of folks wouldn't even TRY because they are so closed minded.
All of the seven republican dwarfs on stage in Manchester NH last Tuesday are dorks. All rhetoric and no solutions to the ills of our country. We have to blah blah blah do something to correct the last 2.5 years of Democrats running the country blah blah blah. HEY – Obama was handed a shit sandwich from Bush with the TARP, IRAQ, Afghanistan, economy in the toilet. So what do you expect? It takes time to undo the wrongheaded policies of Bush/Cheney. AGain, none of the seven musketeers had any solutions. Just blah blah blah. So put their heads on cow pies and be done with it.
Ron Paul 2012 Sundae.
Tastes like freedom.
As far as I can tell, they are indistinguishable – they all remind me of those little round brown things in moosetracks ice cream. Moose Poo ..... bleh!
fruity newty palid palin Gop=gay old partners
I don't have a problem making fun of anyone – Republican or Democrat, all the same when it comes to humor. But leaving off Obama leaves out the obvious flavor... Barocky Road. How about RonPaul Ripple – every cone comes with a tiny aluminum foil hat. Romney Care-amel... must be served in a waffle cone.
Lighten up.
Lobsters are like humans they have feelings too.
Do lobsters run for office?
Do they come in fancy flavors?
Is there lobster-flavored ice cream?
If not, what's the connection here?
Lobster-pecan Crunch? ...Wait, is there a lobster running for President?
Weiner banana cream pie icecream. lol!
Bachmann Pecan (May contain nuts)
Blasphemy!! how dare you insult the images of our prophets.may the heat of a thousand suns melt away your baracky roads
Does blasphemy come in blueberry? If so, i'd hit that.
How about Bear Claw Bachmann?
Michelle " I'm hot for Jesus " Bachmann ?
What the hell is this? i want those twenty seconds of my life back.
Herman Cain Oreo Blizzard.
How about "Michelle Bachertorte," a play off the Austrian sachertorte dessert. I can't think of anything else that isn't too much of a personal jab.
The frontrunners so far have to be Rick Pear-y and Bachman Turtle Overdrive.
I like Baracky Road, brown, nutty, with soft marshmallow thrown in as well
I love all this whining about CNN's liberal slant. Yes, sure, CNN and many news organizations do lean toward the democrats. Meanwhile, Faux News is a sheer cliff face dropping toward the GOP. You know, fair and balanced?
Sarah Palin's Snowball In Hell.
Now everyone can see the true colors of CNN, disgraceful.
It's not the "true colors" of CNN that I'm seeing, but those of the people posting on this blog and claiming to represent a political viewpoint. Those of you spewing hatred and viciousness really need to ask yourselves "Is this the image of my party I want to present?" It's the image you ARE presenting, so if you want people to see your party as ... well, as not a seething pit of venom ... you might want to re-think what you're saying and how you're saying it.
(GOP greed of plenty )earache if only you had something important to add.
SantoRum and Coke.
Nice idea, but I think SantoRum Raisin might be a little more kid-friendly
Excuse my I stand corrected. the Communist news network and Premier Obama with 2nd in command Wolf Blitzer.
Michele ButterPecan.
How about Cara-Michele Bachmann. I LOVE caramel ice cream!
Newty Frutti?? This is comedy.
Randall Berry. (Randall Terry. He's running against Obama on the Democratic ticket. Yes, he can do that.)
Man, do I hate when people get all political on a food blog...
Man, do I hate when people get all foody on a political blog...
You are an idiot.
And admittedly so.
You know, if you would just see things my way, we could have avoided that comment.
I might agree with and even enjoy the humorous sentiment in these photos. However, this is hardly the forum for such sophomoric commentary.
I'm truly disappointed in CNN. This material denigrates the legitimacy of the serious stories that are typically found here.
Food blog, Jason. This is a Food. Blog.
Serious stories are rarely found in Eatocracy, and when they are, they're of the "eating olive oil is good for you" variety.
Hence the Nickname CNN, COMMUNIST NEWS NETWORK. Anything you can do to get King Obama re-elected.
communists don't have kings. Don't mix your parroted metaphors
so where are the democrats?
You're kidding right?
CNN cannot possibly abuse the Dems, as they are the paid mouthpiece of the Party of Hate. The GOP is protecting the nation's highest values, while the far left party of hate wants gay marriage and the wholesale murder of babies.
And I thought I was the only retard here today.
Thanks for the laugh!!! Repub's, protecting the nation's "highest values".....hahahaha....maybe the value of the richest 2% in the country!
Only two are declared for the 2012 presidential primary ballot just yet.
Barack Obama – Baracky Road (per BrightNote's suggestion)
Randall Terry – Randall Berry (mine)
There you go. "all the democrats."
Correction: BrightSpot not BrightNote
Busy being singular. There's just the one incumbent, and a whole field of challengers. The challengers, by definition, are more interesting. Though if you feel like tossing in a suitable ice cream flavor ("Baracky Road" was pretty good) nobody's stopping you.
I find it interesting that the example of ice-cream names cited in the article (Mint Romney) and the existing "name" flavor (Cherry Garcia) are not disrespectful to anyone, yet some of the people posting either feel that the entire concept is (to their preferred faction, needless to say) or feel compelled to come up with downright insulting posts, either involving names intended to be rude, not funny, or just posting venom-filled rants. And neither side is free of guilt there.
By the way, it was a major news organization (though I'd have to look up which one) which used a headline to the effect of "Democrats Let Wiener Shrivel" with regard to the support (or lack thereof) being given to that so-aptly-named man with zipper issues. If anything, I think the lack of public Wiener jokes is the result of it being just TOO easy. Seriously, a Wiener being caught in a sex scandal? The jokes make themselves.
Rick Santorum's Frothy Fig Foam.
Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww.
mmmmmm...Frothy Fig Foam
Screw the "respectful and rated PG" rules, I have money!
I highly doubt that basing your flavor name off of Dan Savage's PG-13 (if we're being RIDICULOUSLY generous) redefining of "santorum" counts.
Money? Wha...?
Anyway, yeah, I guess mine is pretty filthy. The only thing I think of when I see Rick Santorum is vanilla ice cream, white bread, gruel, and plain oatmeal.
Sorry, every time I see neglect for rules (especially card games, though that's not relevant here), I think of a quote from a certain popular web series, wherein the quote "Screw the rules, I have money," is used a few times.
This is all in good fun, so I shall contribute:
Baracky Road
Nice one! How about Barack Candy Ice Cream?
Big Barack Candy Mountain? (or do I know too many really old songs?)
Except that I can't see it being a working ice cream flavor, because rock candy tastes like ... sweet. Just sweet. No flavor. (after all, it's sugar on a stick) So I'm gonna have to go with Baracky Road.
Baracky Road works extremely well. :)
Somebody has way too much time on their hands.
For Fred Karger, Karguarana. For those not familiar with Guarana, it's the main fruit used to flavor the soda, Bawls. Although, if his name is pronounced with a soft G, I've got nothing.
Thank you for killing my appetite. Just what I didn't need to think about ... ice cream that tastes like Bawls. In my opinion, Bawls is why they make Vivarin. *shudder*
Wow, some ppl need to go out and buy a sense of humor. These candidates are a long way from the top and these "cnn bastards" are trying to make news fun/interesting so maybe some of "idiot" America will actually know who they are going to be voting for.
I couldn't have said it better myself, U. Lighten up, folks!
The problem is CNN is read some of the most ignorant people or robots commanded by the left.
Of which you are a fine example.
I can't refrain from pointing out that you're reading this.
And Fox News is the land of "fair and balanced" news, right? No news source is free from bias, which is why you read more than one! To write the entire media off like Palin does (Lamestream Media) just because they ask you what magazine you read or catch you lying about history makes you not only look ignorant, but incredibly naive.
They need to buy some "Good Humor" preferable the eclair bars or the strawberry shortcake ones! They are the best.
Also, I'll have two scoops of Patch's Butter Rum Paul for 2012, its both delicious, and tax free!
Charles Elson "Nutty Buddy" Roemer III
Rick Santo-Rum Cake
Dufus dummy Obama, IM A Idiot Biden
Sarah " Trailer Trash on a Stick " Palin
I think I have to revise my opinion. You don't have issues, you have entire volumes.
I like the Rick Santo-Rum cake....but since we're talking about ice cream, I would go with Rick Santo-Rum-Raisin. :-)
Bachmango ... Yeah, that sucks... As does Bachmandarin.
The usual liberal slant...Make fun of all the GOP contenders but ignore the wannabe who is in the WH now. CNN still acting the leftist shill for the party of hate.
...pppffffftttt...drool
Making fun? If all of the GOP contenders have your non-existent sense of humor then we really are screwed. I'm sure Mint Romney is the least offensive name he's been called in a while.
not even remotely funny, and they should have done the lame o crats
Because then you would have found it funny, right?
John Jolton – A stretch, but coffee flavored, possibly Jolt-brand itself.
Jim de Menthe ... Minimal variation on his name, minimal creativity, but enough to not be his name exactly.
I like it.
Bachmann Turtle Overdrive
I like that one; I wish I was as creative. The cardinal outside my window is now looking at me funny because I'm laughing out loud. Let it ride!
Hahahaha! I love that one! Good job
Cinnamon Stick Santorum
Vanilla Cherry Johnson
Rick Pear-y?
Might make a better sorbet.
Simple and perfect. Well done, Sidd.
How about " Steaming Hot Road Apple Palin " ?
After watching the New Hampshire Republican debate just a few days ago, I was put off by all the candidates after 10 minutes of watching. They all seem more focused on attacking President Obama than giving logical solutions to our nation's problems.
Butter Rum Paul
Ha! I like that!
Ron Prauline
pretty nice picture the democraty to be or not to be an democrate joelle esther benyayer
If you're trying to impress people with the intelligence and perceptiveness of members of your political party, you're failing - not least because it's impossible to figure out exactly what you're trying to say, or which party that is.
This is kind of degrading to the candidates. I'm all for jokes, but this is reflects poorly on them.
And rightly so.
CNN is a liberal lieing organization. They won't put the nutty Democrats here, cause Weiner already made the Democrats look good.
Seriously Eric, did a Democrat touch you in a naughty place? It was all done in fun, they aren't bashing Repub's or anything, just doing play-on-words using their names (or in the case of Palin, choice of meat). Otherwise, they would have done something like "Plain Vanilla Pawlenty", or "Mormon Butterbrickle Romney". BUT THEY DIDN'T.......
CNN basstards!!! Their acting as if they're just having fun but they are ridiculing people who they don't agree with in order to harm their credibility in the eyes of the public. CNN BASSTARDS!!!!!!
Can I now ridicule you for your inability to spell 'bastards'?
Hey, Hollywood had a problem with the word, too. And "inglorious," if I remember correctly... :-P
Are you employed? How have you had the time to post so many responses? These inane quips of yours only detract from the party with which you obviously affiliate. And didn't I detect an ironically snide remark about misspellings?
@Dixie, incidentally.
totally agree. They want some way to demonize the GOP since they couldn't find a way during the debates.
Since ice cream is the antichrist, by turning GOP names into ice cream flavors we are clearly casting them as demon seeds. I'm going to recommend another layer of tin foil for the old noggin there, Eric.
Are you serious? Did you watch the debates? Where are the new ideas? Where is the way out? They just gave us more of the same crap that got us into this mess in the first place. Lower corporate taxes, lower taxes on the rich. We all know if we do this (one more time) they will hire all of the unemplyed. You are dilusional. Corporate profits have soared and the rich have pocketed all of the tax breaks. Trickle doen economics is not only a lie, it has been proven not to work.
Of course ... everyone wants to harm their own credibility, right?
There's one (as far as the political process is concerned) Democratic candidate, as usually happens when there is an incumbent. And there are numerous Republican candidates, as usually happens when the party out of power is challenging the incumbent. So naturally they're going to be the target of more jokes, because it involved distinguishing among people (how Romney is different from Gingrich, let's say) and it's the challengers, not the incumbent, who have people to distinguish BETWEEN. Hence the humor.
I find it rather disturbing that some people (on both sides) are unable to handle a bit of light-hearted joking without turning it into venom spewing or "poor-me" whining. Snap out of it, the lot of you.
As for candidates ... there's a flavor of ice cream I'm particularly fond of called Bear Claw - it's dark chocolate with cashews and caramel; it's one of the "Denali" flavors. I propose "Palin Claw" for Sarah Palin (though for some reason, I suspect she'd rather have milk chocolate ice cream for a base; she just doesn't strike me as the dark chocolate type). Hey, ice cream is important!
Jack, let me guess. Your last name is Hoffman.
Are you serious? This is ridiculous. Especially being on a national news site. What's next? posting pictures of Democratic contenders in a hot dog bun?
Ahhhhh stick a fork in it and go get laid.
I agree, isn't this a little juvenile for a national new agency. My respect for CNN continues to fall. However most democrats are like spoiled children so perhaps CNN has a pulse on its audience...
Nice broad brush you like to use to paint entire groups of people with. I wonder how you will cope when your party loses yet again?
It's a food blog. They don't tend to be all that serious. Or serious at all. (c'mon, they had Drew Curtis, of Fark fame, for their "5@5" a while back). Eatocracy is no more an aspect of CNN's news coverage than my local newspaper's horoscope column is a part of theirs.
How about the tried and true for Ms. Bachmann-NUTTY BUDDY. ('course, it's original creators will probably sue...)
Bachmann is easy. Fruitcake!
Why, cause she is smarter than any Democrat?
Is she really smarter than any democrat eric? Care to elaborate?
Eric – You honestly believe Bachmann is smart? You probably think Palin is smart too. Where did YOU get YOUR degree from?
Bachmann once stated in public that the battles of Lexington and Concord happened in New Hampsire and not Massachusetts. Guess she missed that Revolutionary War history lesson, which is ironic for a member of the Tea Party movement.
Hampshire* My fingers got a little too fast for my brain there
This is hysterical =)
Its stupid. why don't they put Nutty nut Biden and Obama iced. or Obama bloody red fruitcake for his wars.
I'm hoping you were so passionate about the GOP's stance on the war in Iraq eric? I have a feeling you are just a little man/woman angry with the world. Get over yourself, and have a scoop of Mint Romney.
But Eric, fruitcake is a peace loving dessert treasured by grandma's around the world. Or at least that's my excuse as to why they give them out every damn Christmas.
You are a PUNK!!
Really? You mean the wars started by Bush / Cheney? Is that the best you can do? You're just bitter your heroes in the GOP didn't catch bin Laden.
You have a typo. War should not be plural. If you remember, the other two are your boy Bush's works of art.
That's great...Obama's bloody wars? Such a questionable comparative considering the recent war mongers Bush & Bush II.
Left wingers are gay. They have nothing else to do but poke fun of Repubs. Their ideologies are screwed up and can never win a debate so all they do is demonize the right side. Hopefully a republican gets back in office and fixes this country. The only change Obama brought was for himself, buy not smoking cigarettes.
...because some people have a sense of humor.
No. fruitcake is not a symbol of peace, fruitcake is a weapon of war.
Dude, you've got issues.
(oops, wrong 'Reply'; that was meant to be @eric)
This has got to be, without a doubt, the stupid-est, article ever written. Period.
A waste of time and energy.
Lets fix it...name prominent democrats after food. Reid is wrinkled, wilted lettuce. Pelosi is an over-ripe, skin-split sour grape, Obama, bad raisin. Frank, stale banana bread. Clinton (Bubba) old potato. Clinton (Hilary) green grapefruit. You guys take over now.