5@5 is a daily, food-related list from chefs, writers, political pundits, musicians, actors, and all manner of opinionated people from around the globe.
Don't let its charming jingle fool you: hard decisions abound at the ice cream truck.
Some of us can hardly figure out which pant leg to put on first in the morning, let alone decide between a cup or cone. And don't even get us started on whether to go with sprinkles or without - we may bust a coronary.
In general, ordering food can be sensory overload for those who hem and haw. That's why owners like Douglas Quint of the über-popular Big Gay Ice Cream Truck (and soon-to-open shop) sometimes have to take matters into their own hands.
Customers Who Are Better Off If I Decide Their Orders: Douglas Quint of Big Gay Ice Cream
I tell them to order a vanilla cone covered in Trix cereal, and as I hand it over I invariable hear something like 'Oh my god, it's SO pretty!' Never fails."
3. First Timers
They are too screwed up to communicate and I figure their throats hurt too much from the drugs, so I suggest a cup (not a cone) of vanilla. No toppings. Bingo. Also, deal with their money up front. Their hands are usually too shaky and their brains too addled to make change. Drugs are bad. Don't do drugs."
5. Little kids
One time a dad was suggesting all sorts of options and his overwhelmed child whizzed himself. Another girl lifted her dress up over her head - it was all just too much. Trust me, what that kid wants is a vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles."
Bonus: Chain smokers
Is there someone you'd like to see in the hot seat? Let us know in the comments below and if we agree, we'll do our best to chase 'em down.