5@5 is a daily, food-related list from chefs, writers, political pundits, musicians, actors, and all manner of opinionated people from around the globe.
So class, we've recently become versed in how to tick off the chef, deal with drunk party guests and overcome booze-induced suffering. Today's lesson? How not to send yourself into self-inflicted Prohibition by being a general pain in the gluteus maximus toward the barkeep.
Our visiting educators are Alie Ward and Georgia Hardstark - the comedic vixen mixologists behind the virally infamous McNuggetini. The dynamic duo took a break from shaking (and stirring) up the cocktail world with their new web series, Drinks with Alie & Georgia on Food2.com, to offer up their tips on ensuring the bartender doesn't spit in your Sour Appletini.
Five Tips on Not Pissing Off Your Bartender: Alie and Georgia
2. Tipping: It’s Not Just For Cows!
The point we’re trying to make is, do you really want to be on the cheap side of the tipping fence? Service industry folks rely on tips for survival, and bartenders are no exception. Here’s the rule, which is really more of a jumping off point: a dollar a drink. Tattoo that to your forehead. Anything less is just plain rude. But with the high-end mixology world booming, your drink may have required any of the following: muddling, infusing, spritzing, ice picking or very-tight-vest wearing. If this is the case, or your bartender created something specifically tailored to your tastes - it’s in good taste to lay down an extra buck or two. Don’t have that kinda money? There’s an awesome dive bar around the corner that serves up a mean vodka-cranberry."
3. Hit on them at 2:01 am
In case you haven’t caught on yet, we’re employing the literary device of irony, which means that we think it’s a VERY bad idea to hit on a bartender/tendress. Especially when the bar’s floodlights have just gone up, and they are screaming at you to leave their establishment.
If you must hit on this beguiling barkeep, here’s a tip: wait for another chance to strike up a conversation when you’re good and sober. Perhaps early in their next shift, before you’re wearing your tie as a headband."
4. Long Island Ice Teas
A Long Island Iced Tea is a very unsexy badge of thrift, but it is also a signal to the world that your future involves falling to the floor. Or worse, your best friend holding your hair back."
5. Barfing. Anywhere.
A good rule of thumb for keeping your wits about you and your dinner inside your body? One drink an hour followed by a glass of water, and no more than four cocktails per night. This not only abates unsightly regurgitation, but it will also keep you from waking up without pants in a bus station. Remember: moderation does a body - and a bartender - good."
Bartenders - what other customer behaviors would you like to see get nipped in the bud? And readers, do you agree with the above grievances?
Is there someone you'd like to see in the hot seat? Let us know in the comments below and if we agree, we'll do our best to chase 'em down.