 Yup – we know we're falling down on the job of making you pants-soilingly anxious about Thanksgiving dinner. You know, being all "rational" and "helpful" and whatnot with our recipes and tips for laid-back hosting - so sorry. To make up for it, let's induce some needless panic. Please share your most entertaining horror stories in the comments below and we'll include our favorites in an upcoming post. You may now resume rationality. |
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My best friend offered to host Thanksgiving one year - and forgot that he didn't have an oven!! (It was a new rental unit.) Another time, we had a bunch of gay friends over who insisted on decorating the table. By the time they were finished, the turkey was cold, and all the rest of us were already drunk from a case of champagne! LOL!
Left the giblets simmering in a pot of water & went out for a little while – came back to a frantic neighbor & a smoky condo. Also, learned to REMOVE THE PAN FROM HEAT & LEAVE THE LID ON! I took the pan off the heat, removed the lid, and added water – WRONG! Smoked up the place immediately – big stink for weeks!
Eatocracy can be summed up in one hilarious book: "Are You Gonna Eat That?!" Check it out!
http://www.areyougonnaeatthat.net
A little over one month into my sister and bother-in-laws marriage they decided to host Thanksgiving dinner. For most people this is a large undertaking at any point in your life. My brother-in-laws family never had a traditional turkey they always served capon. My sister wanted to continue this tradition so she purchased two of them and she and her husband, after seasoning them and getting them oven ready put them in a disposable aluminium roasting pan. The pan had a pin hole in it and during the cooking process the grease from the birds started to drip out off the pan and on to the heating element. This caused the oven to catch fire! Yes, really the oven caught fire. Disaster, both birds were ruined but my sister did get to use the kitchen fire extinguisher she received as a shower gift. Good thing for great side dishes, because it was a birdless meal for us. She and her husband are hosting Thanksgiving this year. It is the first time since that fateful day almost 10 years ago. I am bringing the extinguisher.
When I was little, my mom had a house full of guests and accidentally turned the oven knob to the automatic cleaning setting, which locked the oven and made it where she couldn't get the food out. Some stuff burned I think. I'm not sure how long it was locked but she somehow managed to make it all work. It probably took longer. I just remember how upset and embarrassed she was. I should ask her how she made it all work. I've somehow managed not to have to host a big Thanksgiving yet. I have a mortal fear of any sort of entertaining...I wonder if it's attached to that memory. Hmmm....
Check out a book called Thanksgiving Tales: True Stories of the Holiday in America! It's a collection of essays from writers across the country with stories of meal mishaps, first-time hosts, memorable guests and other crises and humor from the holiday.
One year my brother and his family came to Thanksgiving dinner and my brother seriously got choked on macaroni and cheese very first bite off his plate. None of us knew how to do the heimlich maneuver. We did what we could to help dislodge the food so he could breathe again but part of it was still stuck in his wind pipe for an hour or more later. He spent the next couple hours in the bathroom trying to throw it up on his own. Our nerves were too shot to eat much after that. Several of us took Red Cross CPR not long after that.
When I was 16 and visiting family in Texas, I was shoved onto the "kids table" with my sister who was 17. We were the only ones there above 5. And there were three empty seats at the other table. At the other table, there were some 13 year olds as well, so WTF.
Try having the pipes burst in the wall while cooking for 14!
Instead of slaving for hours made reservations at a nice restaurant...
first, ya'all have to understand that i am no fan of a traditional turkey inspired thanksgiving feast. i'd rather have pork roast, baked spuds and a green salad. that said- one year i caved. my aunt was bringing her 3 kids, my mother was coming over and given that the travel for them was a bit of a hardship....
so asked what they wanted- turkey, (yuck) mashed spuds,(double yuck) pumpkin pie (gross) stuffing (disgusting) and i had to (parental blackmail) make enough for left overs- they would of course take it all home with them. so i hunted up the time tables of thawing and cooking the bird , consulted w/ mom and..... a thawed bird just wouldn't do. it had to be "fresh" never in a freezer. several phone calls to grocers, i did find a "fresh bird" source in time to order.
the day before the big feast day, i did up the pumpkin pie x2 and a small apple crisp for me, baked the bread for the stuffing ( that box stuff stuff has too much salt ya know! yeah – mom again) i get a nap and go in to work the 3rd shift.
i'm back home by 8am and start working on the timing of the remaining dishes so everything is done when the guests arrive. i call mom- does she know when her sister plans to leave Kansas? it's a 6h drive to my place. uh- no. she will call and find out though. about on hour later auntie calls- her daughter is sick. stayed home from school 2 days. won't be coming. so sorry she forgot to call and tell me. my mom decides to "avoid the traffic" and stays home ( 2 hours from my place) since her sister won't be here.
it's thanksgiving day- i have a 20+lb bird that i have no plans to eat, a crock pot of mashed potatoes, a green bean concoction, 2 orange looking pies and a pan of baked yams, the stuffing and fresh rolls and the cranberries. and i have no guests.
i ate the rolls and called the 2nd shift at work. they were happy to take care of my "leftovers".
i have not cooked a "thanksgiving dinner" since.
Family-The other 4 letter word!
Wow, not to mention time but the cost of that is huge too. How inconsiderate!
we forgot to put oil in the turkey fryer. due to an over-abundance of pregaming with wine, no one could figure out why the temperature on the thermometer wasn't rising until the bottom of the fryer melted to the ground. whooops...
I was fixing my first Thanksgiving dinner (I had moved away from home 6 months earlier) and I didn't know it yet, but I had an internal infection that got worse as the day went on, so by the time my family arrived, I was white as a sheet and my mother took me right to the emergency room, before I even got a chance to set out the food. The rest of the household ate without me.
We had a powerful storm a few years back that knocked out the power in the middle of the afternoon when most families were still baking their turkeys. The local newscasters still bring it up around Thanksgiving! Everyone in the are had to scramble to fix something, most without the light to work by!
I guess that's a great reason to always have a charcoal grill and some camping equipment handy. At least then you can have something for dinner. :)
Two years ago I brined a turkey for the first time and it came out salty. I don't know why I did it, but all the tv cooks kept saying how wonderful turkeys are when you do it. I don't like stuff with much salt in it anyway, and as soon as I tasted it I could taste the salt a mile away. I will never brine a turkey again. We mostly threw it out that year. Every other year it turns out great. My sister has come some years and we have fought, but that is kind of fun!
When you brine a turkey, you have to leave it in for EXACTLY the right amount of time for the size of the bird. You see, the salty water has to go INTO the turkey, then it all normalizes as stuff moves into and out of the bird. If you take it out too early, it will be far too salty.
Try a sugar and water brine, it is much better!
Several years ago, we arrived at my mother's house to find my brother-in-law standing in the middle of the kitchen holding up the oven door by the handle with both hands. My mother and sister were pulling out the over-sized bird and trying to decide how to finish roasting it after the oven door simply fell off! While they discussed the limited options for saving Thanksgiving dinner, Bob patiently stood there, hefting a red-hot oven door that wouldn't go back on the hinges for love nor money. Our family's arrival increased the male, action-oriented quota by 300%, and they helped him wrestle the hunk of metal through the dining room and out onto the brick-paved yard behind the house.
Tom Turkey was smashed into the microwave, and we all braved food poisoning later that day as everyone took small helpings of the most done parts in order to bolster Mother's feelings against the sense of a failed dinner. It wasn't the worst meal we ever had (that's another story), but it was far from the best. My sister and mother went range shopping the next week, and Christmas came off without a hitch.
I selected 'turkey didn't thaw on time' but it was more a case of 'Mom doesn't read the instructions that come right on the turkey or decided they just didn't count.' (My sister has this same disorder.)
Mom put the turkey in the fridge the night before. The next day it still had ice crystals on it was I was washing and preparing it. I was about 14 and had read previously that you don't stick a frozen turkey in the oven. Mom 'knew better' and said do it anyway. Turkey gets put in oven.
Dinner time arrives. Turkey is perfectly cooked . . . to a 1/4 inch depth. The rest is cold to the touch.
Mom carved it anyway and we finished cooking it in the microwave. We didn't tell my sister for years because she wouldn't have eaten imperfect turkey.
I ended up the ER with a kidney stone. Not a pleasant Thanksgiving
One experience while going to my other half's sisters place for Thanksgiving. I walked in with a made-from-pumpkins pumpkin pie and I asked if they had whipping cream. They announced that they had Cool Whip. Yikes, you are not putting Cool Whip in this pie. We're going to get some. Found some whipping cream at a 7-11 store. Put it on the counter and the young lady asked me what it was for. I told her that this is what you made whipped cream out of. "Is that how they do it?" she asked incredulously. Back in the kitchen I gave a lesson on whipping cream to a bunch of wide-eyed pie-eaters who never knew that there was anything other than Cool Whip.
BTW, Cool Whip is not much more than Crisco and Sugar. Not very appetizing.
I prefer real whipped cream, but I still LOVE Cool Whip!
1. An aunt brought her dog (she didn't have children and her dog was her child) and proceeded to let it eat at the table, from a chair. My mom got disgusted, (along with everyone else) and there was a huge fight.
2. My grandpa, the alcoholic, got drunk, as usual and then threw up, on the table.
3. My aunt, a different one, brought a friend, who berated and insulted the entire family and all the food the entire day, until my mom started a fight with her. Not a fist fight, but even if it was a fist fight, it wouldn't have surprised me.
That's just three instances. And yet, Thanksgiving is still my favorite holiday. It is actually my favorite day of the year.
Kat, I can totally understand why it is still your fav: I would treat it like it is both dinner and a floor show, but that's just me when I am full of Thanksgiving! LOL!
I was renting a house with a solar water heater. A pipe above the dining room broke open above the dining room table just before we served Thanksgiving dinner. The ceiling started to sag, then drip, then it burst open spilling hundreds of gallons of water onto the table. Fortunately, the foot wasn't out yet. We got the water shut off, cleaned up the water, reset the table and had a most interesting topic for discussion during dinner. I'm thankful the pipe didn't burst an hour later.
Best / worst thanksgiving: Us guys decided to have two meals, one for just the guys before thursday, then one on thursday with our own wives / girlfriends / families. We got all the fixings, put a 17 pound bird in the oven, and turned on a football game. Three hours later, I found that the oven had gone up to 500 degrees and stayed there the whole time. Miracles do happen, the bird was properly cooked for the most part, but not a single side had been started. We ate turkey and white bread for our supper, and skipped preparing anything else.
Ours wasn't really a disaster but absolutely hilarious! We always go to my grandmother's house for thanksgiving and she never let's us bring anything. A few years ago she had surgery and we all decided that we would each bring a dish so grandma would only have to do the turkey (with grandpa's help). We all decided to keep our dishes a secret until dinner. When we uncovered everything we had 12 green bean casseroles! Thankfully everyone had a good laugh and we decided to have a competition to see whose was best. It was very funny but now we refuse to have green bean casserole at any holiday!
One year I was ill over Thankgiving and was preparing for surgery a few days afterward. My husband, after many years of watching me prepare the bird, decided that he could do it and spare me the work. We agreed that there would be good-quality gravy from a jar instead of my usual giblet gravy. The turkey emerged from the oven looking delicious and well browned, the various vegetables were all ready at the same time, the store-bought gravy didn't look too bad, the family was assembled, and we all dug in. The turkey wasn't bad, but it had a strange, slightly "off" taste. It certainly wasn't spoiled. It just wasn't delicious. A few people asked for seconds, and that's when we discovered the giblets and neck–still in their waxed-paper bags, still safely tucked inside the cavity of the bird.
Only run your garbage disposal with COLD water. Hot water will make the metal parts expand, changing tolerances and could end up allowing food/gunk to get caught and/or jamming your disposal.
If you want to run hot water afterward, that's fine...just not while the disposal is actually working.
Anyone know how to cook the potato flavor out of mashed potatoes? Somehow my mom manages to do that, its like eating really thick water.
My guesses would be that she doesn't let enough water evaporate from the drained potatoes and/or doesn't use enough salt/fat. Not that you can't make tasty low fat and salt free mashed potatoes but you really need to up the flavor quotient from other ingredients to do so and make sure there isn't too much excess water (in my opinion, obviously).
Don't drain them well, and put no salt, no pepper, no milk, and no butter. Other than that, I don't know how she could manage such flavorless potatoes. LOL
You forgot the most common mishap. Someone dropped the turkey! It sometimes happens when it's being moved from the baking dish to the serving platter or when the bird is turned from breast side down to breast side up.
Twenty-six members of hubby's family coming to dinner and oven catches fire after pan drippings from turkey ignite. Lesson learned: never host another Thanksgiving dinner.
One year, I made Thanksgiving dinner with all the dishes/trimmings. It was done mainly for my good friend Andy who was supposed to arrive around 2:00 p.m. At 10:00 p.m. he still hadn't shown up and hadn't even bothered to phone. When I finally heard from him to ask what had happened, he told me "I forgot." I don't think I've ever been so hurt.
In Wisconsin, the deer hunting season always spans Thanksgiving week, and occasionally our hunting group can get away with staying at the northwoods cabin over the holiday. When this happens, the entree is always Floored Ham, due to an unfortunate slip on our first try, similar to the one described earlier by Shreeves. Same thing – clean it off and serve it. Similar culinary errors have resulted in other strangely-named delicacies at deer camp over the years, such as Steak Tampoon and Volcano Chicken.......
We tried deep frying a kosher turkey. We did it on the patio thank goodness. Kosher turkeys are soaked in brine. When the turkey was lowered into the fryer it boiled all over the patio. A real mess to clean up. Lesson learned: Never deep fry a kosher turkey!
You're lucky the oil didn't ignite on the burner! Someone could have been seriously hurt. I have never tried deep frying a turkey, because I'm worried I will do something wrong. LOL
Quick tip for this upcoming season is buying a couple of bags of Gudernoobs, made by Woo Hoo Foods and placing these prepackaged little treats in serving bowls on end tables, etc. 100% healthy snack and great for toddlers too.
Well, I would, but I don't like dates–they make my mouth swell and itch, must be an allergic reaction.
One time, my turkey (which i bought on a Chinese farm) turned out to be semi-alive ,and i ended up sticking a fork in a semi-alive turkey which was extremely uncomfortable but however the salad my mother fixed fit perfectly with the dish and so the dinner was assumed to be nicely done, however the family got into a big fight about the sauce used in the dish (which was pretty good if i may add) and the gravy viscosity, which was appealling to my taste) and they threw dishes at each other to confuse the
I would never buy a turkey that wasn't already gutted and plucked. LOL
I make a turkey sandwich and give the dog some turkey. Watch a movie, go for a long walk. Peace and tranquility.
The year after my father deserted our family my mother tried to make his "world famous gravy" but it came out lumpy, so she put it in the blender, and we ended up with gravy flavored tapioca. It was gross and instead of bringing a little bit of dad to the table it just made us miss him even more. It was a pretty sad Thanksgiving.
The day before Thanksgiving, my roomate and I spent all day cooking appetizers and side dishes for 20 ppl. Her boyfriend came home late that night after working a restaraunt shift and ate almost, save about 3 bites of everything in the refridgerator (including the french fried onions for green bean casserole). We did not notice this until about an hour and a half before guests were arriving. I volunteered to go to the grocery store instead of watching what was about to be a big blow out fight. They were so mad at each other that they started drinking too much and I ended putting dinner together that night. That was also the year that we tried the "unturkey" – a fake soy product with a fake soy crunchy skin – gross. Bad year.
Never ,never put celery in the garbage disposal !plumbers on Thanksgiving are very expensive and I had decided not to make my stuffing in the bird and make it on the side in a csserole dish I forgot to take out the bag of little goodies in turkey, very odd smell and sort of a burnt plastic taste to the turkey.
My brother and sister-in-law invited us to stay at there house for T-day week one year. They're about a 5 hour drive away. The week before Thanksgiving their whole family came down with the 24 hour flue. They told us everyone was fine and the place had been all cleaned up.
So Tuesday before T-day we drove out and had a great visit. Thanksgiving dinner was wonderful and afterwards I was feeling fuller than I thought I should have. So we all took a nice walk but I felt even worse after returning, and yep, you guessed it. Myself, my wife and daughter started playing bucket brigade for the next 24 hours. Every bite came back up for all three of us. One of the worst cases any of us had had.
We were miserable, but years later it's still a subject of conversation in the family. In case you're wondering, nope, we've never gone back for T-day since! :^)
Our most interesting Thanksgiving was the first in my parents' new home. All the appliances were brand new, as the kitchen had been remodeled before they moved in. The oven had only been used once or twice. It failed to work at all on Thanksgiving day. Fortunately, my parents had a huge BBQ grill. My dad and my brother managed to make a wonderful turkey on the BBQ, while the side dishes were cooked in the toaster oven. Dinner was great, but it was definitely the most challenging holiday cooking experience we've had.
My "Other" vote is as follows-
My second Thanksgiving turkey and first Thx to do all of the sides. (1st turkey I had to transport to a friends house and it was a little pink so I was on a mission to do it right).
Let me set the table for you. I'm just married. My wife doesn't cook at all. Mom is coming to visit and has offered to help. And by help means help drink wine from pint glasses while sitting on the couch and not lifting a finger.
Oh, and I have a fever – temp 102. But I'm doing this!
Turkey seasoned, going on the grill this year. Pan ready, two full propane tanks, rotisserie set up. I put the turkey on the rotisserie, take out the bottom rack so it has room to turn and press "Go".
No go. It never crossed my mind that my rotisserie motor is for small chickens and does not have power to turn a 17lb bird. Mind you this takes me a good hour to figure out. I'm going in and out of the house and my mom is cawing at me like a pesky crow "You try this, you try that". Drilling a hole of pain into my mind and going over how many perfect birds she has made. FYI my mother is not right and she needs help.
After my mom's 4th trip to just needle me I turn to her and say – "Go away. Seriously you are not helping, just go inside and leave me alone." She goes. On her 5th trip I just glare. My wife come out to get her and hands me a gin and tonic to cool my jets.
Now I came very close to throwing that rotisserie over my balcony onto the street below but I recouped and found a BBQ method to just grill on weber. The turkey turned out amazing. I mean it was fantastic and I had all the sides hit the table hot and delicious. The only bad part of the meal, the gravy was like pure grease. Guess who made the gravy...Mom.
So it turned out ok but it was the 9th ring of heck to get there.
I've had a bird go bad once or twice sense (always the thawing!) otherwise after about 10 years of practice I make a pretty mean meal. Also I don't have mom over if I can help it...like a harpy I tell you! Ha
One year, years ago, the mother of a roommate very generously invited me to join her Thanksgiving celebration. I'd been over several times before and her mother was a fantastic cook and (normally) hostess but even so, over her objections, I decided to bring a couple side dishes because I know how difficult it can be to accommodate any unusual dietary restrictions guest might have... especially at holidays.
I'm allergic to pork (as in medically verified, potentially deadly allergic) and make this clear to hosts... not to prevent them from serving what they wish but because I really need to know if there is something that could kill me in a dish so that I can avoid it. I'm also a vegetarian (as was my roommate) and am used to not being able to eat several dishes when dining at another person's home so tend to feel most comfortable if I bring something I'm sure I can eat.
We arrive and see all of the elaborate and obviously time-intensive dishes... all cooked to perfection and beautifully presented and add our humble offerings to the bounty feeling somewhat foolish as she scolds us about already having too much food.
Then I ask my rote question about pork dishes just to clarify which of the side dishes I should avoid (she already know about my allergy from prior visits). I'm still not sure if it was lucky or unfortunate that I did this in the hearing of the other guests. Turns out there was... quite literally.. only one dish (cranberry sauce!), other than those I brought, that didn't contain pork products of some sort other (ham/sausage/bacon/lard in everything.. even the salad, pies and biscuits) other than the turkey (and that was stuffed with a stuffing that contained pork sausage). And, the kicker, between the vegetarians and those that avoided pork due to religious dietary restrictions (even though presumably they didn't keep strict kosher since they ate out at a home with a non-kosher kitchen), the only person at the gathering that ate pork was the hostess!
Sadly, it turned out that the food I brought was devoured by guests leaving them still hungry.. and the host ended up with a LOT of leftovers.
Ha, that remind me of my Cajun mother in law who was helping with the food for our wedding. I tried to explain, being from California, I had vegetarian and Jewish friends and we needed more than salad without pork or shellfish. Telling a 55 year old Cajun woman not to have pork or shrimp/crawfish in a dish is like yelling at the sun not to come up. I ended up calling the caterer to make some last minute changes and hand holding a few guests on my wedding day... My fav moment was when she, innocently, asked "So what do Jews eat?"...sigh...
This is terrifyingly a true story: One Thanksgiving back when I was a teenager, my mom and uncle got in a fight (not an adult fight, but a "slapping each other and biting like children" fight). In the middle of it, my mom ran to her purse, yanked out her mace, and proceeded to mace the whole room full of people while trying to hit my uncle.
Yeah. I don't go to family Thanksgivings any more.
Awesome!
We have a double oven, and often made a turkey and a ham for our big extended family. Well, one year we enjoyed our beautiful turkey and had a wonderful dinner. We remembered the ham in the lower oven three weeks later whe it started to rot!
I will not eat green eggs and ham. I will not, said Sam I Am.
Mmmm!
My first year to cook a turkey for my family (I was home visiting from college), I used a disposable pan. Somehow the pan became punctured and the drippings from the turkey started to leak. When I opened the oven to check the turkey, the instant addition of air created the perfect conditions for combustion. The turkey caught on fire as I was pulling out, and I threw it across the floor. The flames dissipated quickly, but there was turkey grease all over the floor. Sadly (and embarassingly), as it was the only turkey we had, we salvaged what we could and ate it for dinner anyway. We recall this story every Thanksgiving. Fortunately, I have a proper roasting pan these days.
Having a kid turn off the oven while the turkey was cooking, thinking they were helping. My brother did it when he was little, and my sister's oldest daughter did as well. Normally it's not caught until everything else is ready....makes for an interesting thanksgiving dinner!
I was living in Englad at the time, and wanted to continue the tradition as a way to share the experience with some of my British friends. The night before, the oven completely broke and needless to say there were 20 guests and no turkey :(
We had run the self-clean on the oven the prior day to get ready. On Thanksgiving, the oven wouldn't heat at all. We drove the turkey to my parents to cook it.
I had a co-worker one time who hosted Thanksgiving at his house a few years back. I never did hear how the meal itself turned out as his 96-year old grandpa ended up dying afterwards... I guess people had gone to watch some football, talk, take naps, and all of those other post-meal things that you do that day, and some time later someone noticed that his grandpa had been "sleeping" for a pretty long time!
I suppose he went out peacefully and after having a good day with his family, and it's not like it's a big surprise when you are up in that age bracket, but that would really put a damper on the rest of the day!
A nice lady I knew growing up passed away suddenly on Christmas Eve. She wasn't very old and she had kids my age. It makes me tear up every time I think about what that Christmas must have been like for them.
I was about 10 years old and my mom let me make candied yams for the first time for Thanksgiving. My mom was puttering around the kitchen when it was time to take the yams out of the oven. They were beautiful. Marshmallows were the perfect golden brown, smelled heavenly, the whole deal. My mom picks up the pan and goes to put it on top of the oven when...SPLAT! Her glasses fogged up as she was taking the pan out and caught the pan on the edge of the stovetop and the pan did a 180. Thankfully most of it fell onto the oven door, but we had to take the door off the oven and let it cool outside so it could be cleaned later (and not smell up the house as the sugar in the marshmallows continued to burn). My mom felt really bad, but we both had a good laugh about it. Fast forward to later that night...I went to bed and my mom stayed up to clean up the mess on the floor since it had finally cooled. Unfortunately, she didn't realize she had sat in a giant dollop of marshmallow that had since cooled and was now VERY sticky. She was stuck to the floor! I wake up to my mom calling me downstairs and find her stuck to the floor. To this day, my mom will NOT eat candied yams!
My guests caught my drunk husband releasing his own "special ingredient" into the turkey.
I know this is probably just a joke, but there is a cookbook called Natural Harvest filled with recipies that call for a "special ingredient."
I have poor eyesight without my glasses. I wore contact lenses for years. One Thanksgiving morning I awoke very earyy, went out to the kitchen and put the stuffing in the turkey I had made the night before. Put the oven on low I thought and went back to bed. My mother arrived later that morning and checked the bird. The oven was on 425, the bird was totally collapsed. Luckily a friend and her two children brought over their bird and shared it with us, thankfully my side dishes were fine. We had a good laugh and even a better time.
First Thanksgiving in my new house I had my family over. My aunt, managed to get a spoon stuck in the garbage disposal so firmly that I had to remove the disposal from under the sink to extract the spoon. Nothing like having to take that all apart with an audience! My Aunt passed away 2 years ago. What I wouldn't give to have her around to put silverware down the disposal again...
OMG that story totally brought tears to my eyes! What a sweet story.
You know, when family does things like this, it can make you mad or irritated at the time. But when they're gone, you realize you'd do anything to have them around to do it again.
One year my mom and I had baked many things ahead of time for the big day: two pies and bread. They were sitting out on the table in the kitchen thawing the day before. We went out for a bit and when we returned our dog, a dachshund named Heidi, had taken a bite out of everything! The bread was inedible as she had managed to bite every side. I believe we were able to salvage some of the pumpkin and rhubarb pies. And of course, she was sick from eating too much of all sorts of things that dogs shouldn't eat.
Oh gosh, I don't know that I would have been able to keep from sending the dog to the pound after that. :(
couple of years back the feast was almost completely layed out...some of us where outside trying to teach youngest cousin to ride a bike and he all the sudden did it after weeks of practicing (terrible!) so everyone ran outside to watch him because he was so proud..in a matter of maybe 5 mins, our lab and puppy rottweiler managed to get ON the table (btw had never had an issue with them getting into things before) and destroy/consume just about everything...it was an absolute mess...soo we had hotdogs, barbeque chicken and burgers...and lots of booze
several years ago my husband and I hosted T Day for his entire family. Even some extended family such as in laws – about 25 people w/kids. Even with the "kids table" there we were short 2 seats. My Sister-in-law and myself were treated as the hired help even though I cooked it all. We stayed in the kitchen, got tipsy & made fun of everyone else in the dining room. NO MORE – If you come to my house you help! And I don't wait for volunteers – I draft!!
I did "dish plain old flopped". So, my mom's kinda proud of her cooking, especially for her oyster stuffing at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Mind you... my mom barely used any herbs in her cooking. Not even salt and pepper, really. And her ingredients came primarily from cans, frozen bags if I was lucky. Oh, and cheap margarine. Minute Rice.... um the list goes on. (Needless to say, I learned how to good inspite of her. I love my spices, real butter, and rice cooker!) About the only fresh ingredients she ever used were potatoes, onions, celery, and carrots (granted... there's yummy things you can do with them... if you know what you're doing).
First year that I was with my (now) fiance. She's been going on and on about cooking for him for Thanksgiving.
I cook some of the dishes and she cooks the others.
The (then) boyfriend, bless his heart, just smiles through the dinner, and compliments my mom.
On the way back to my place... he confesses that it was overall the worst meal he's *ever* eaten, especially the oyster stuffing. He did load up on the potatoes, green beans, and the turkey (but avoided the gravy)... which were the three things that I had made. (Note: Mom made the gravy- it was too lumpy and she insisted on putting about a tablespoon of Gravy Master in it even though I had loaded the turkey with aromatics and the drippings were fantastic).
So, since then (until she went into a nursing home, so we do something different now), we found other places to be on Thanksgiving itself and took Mom out to dinner on another night that week or on the weekend.
My first wife was a Holly Hunter maniac for awhile and forced me to go see "Home for the Holidays" on Thanksgiving Day with her. By the time the movie was half way through, I wanted to slit my wrists. Even though its a "thanksgiving" movie, it left a lot to be desired when you consider that the total dysfunctionality of the family in the film. I didnt drink at the time but I sure wanted to. I had a lot to be thankful for that day. If nothing else, I thanked God that that movie was over.
This was Christmas – not Thanksgiving, but it goes along with the topic. I, being all of 21 years old, put a turkey in one of those aluminum throw-away pans and didn't put it on a cookie sheet. As I took it out of the oven it collapsed into a very nice pouring spout and the hot grease just poured onto my nylon covered foot. It hurt like crazy (I was out of my pants and my nylons in about two seconds flat right in front of everyone!) but I made it through the meal by digging my nails into my boysfriend's arm every time I couldn't stand it any more.
I finally noticed that I had a huge blister along the top of my foot, drove myself to the hospital when everyone had left and was told that my leg was swollen and if it didn't go away soon, I'd have to be admitted to the hospital.
Needless to say, I have a good turkey roasting pan now and wear shoes in the kitchen!
My nephew ate too much, too fast and then threw-up all over the dining room table. And then his mother just left it for someone else to clean up. They don't come to our house anymore!
The day my beautiful niece Caitlin was born (who is now a chef) I cremated the turkey. It looked beautiful, but was totally overcooked inside.
About 10 years ago, my husband's great-aunt brought a green bean casserole for T-day. They arrived very late, and she told us that the reason was she had dropped the dish as she was taking it out of the oven, so she had to start over. After we sat down to eat, I was about to take a bite of the casserole, when I noticed a shard of glass in it – YIKES! I took my plate back to the kitchen and showed it to my mother-in-law (who was hosting dinner). I wanted to call out the old biddy on what she'd done, but my mother-in-law was willing to only remove the dish from the table and not "embarrass" Aunt Meryl by pointing out that there was broken glass in her food. I still get angry when I think about it – people could have been injured thanks to her stupidity.
Christmas was always with my family and Thanksgiving was always spent w/ my in-laws. Once I had a large group of my husband's family staying with us for Thanksgiving. I always baste my turkey with paprika and lay on a nice amount just as the bird goes in the oven. This time, I realized after it had been cooking for about 45 minutes that I'd used cayenne pepper instead of paprika. I pulled the bird out and wiped off as much as I could, but the Tex-Mex effect had already taken hold, which also means that the gravy was going to be very spicy. I confessed what had happened and we all braced ourselves for peppery turkey. It actually wasn't that bad, several nephews really liked it a lot. The joke, of course, was that this happened for the in-laws!
2 to share.
1) my mother wears fake plastic fingernails, and once lost one while making the stuffing. She had my sisters and I digging thru the stuffing looking for the plastic fingernail, about an hour later, one of us spotted it on the kitchen floor.
2) We were having a discussion about breast implants (great thanksgiving discussion huh?) and my aunt who has them, decided to show everyone how wonderful they look, and how great they were, even 10 years after surgery. That is the only time I have ever seen anyone lift their shirt at a Thanksgiving dinner, maybe that one belongs under "a little too tipsy"
My neighbor was having close to 20 people over for Thanksgiving dinner one year. Less than half an hour before people were supposed to arrive her huge fluffy cat got too close to a lit candle and POOF - flaming kitty. Luckly she was able to put the flames out and nothing else was caught on fire (the cat escaped a little charred, but generally unharmed). She came running over to borrow fabreeze because the smell was so terrible. We laugh so hard we cried. The story still cracks me up.
My dad did that one Christmas – backed up to take a photo then started hopping up and down yelling. He turned around and his shirt was on fire, like 10 inch flames. Almost all 12 of us threw water, wine and soda at him. The fires out, dad is ok just a little singed and then the jokes start. "Flambe Larry" is still a dish we requests when we have holidays with dad.
First year in a new state with no family...only a month after being married...put turkey in oven and about 2 hours into it, the power in half our apartment went out – just half of it – the living room and kitchen. Hubby and I checked breaker box, then called apartment maintenance guy – no luck. Power company didn't knwo what happened but told us 1/2 our apapretment was on a grid tat was kocked out. So we drove miles upon miles in the middle of a snowstorm, looking for an open restaurant. And the only one open? (gag) Denny's! We went in and had the most dismally depressing Thanskgiving ever. Afterwards we donned helmets, got in our jeep and did donuts amid the freshly fallen snow in empty parking lots. We had a great time – in spite of our holiday dinner!
My aunt was hosting Thanksgiving for 20+ at her home in the late 1970s and told us all she had tried a new method of cooking the turkey, in the microwave. She produced a cornish hen on a platter and told us the microwave must have shrunk the turkey! The look on everyone's face was priceless! She did have a beautiful, perfect turkey waiting in the oven!
Ha ha ha! That's great!
Grandma had thanksgiving every year, always made a 30# bird. She babied this bird, butter under the skin, basted it every hour. Towards the end of the cooking time she was tired of lifting this thing so asked Grandad to put it back into the oven. About 45 mins later one of the uncles yelled from the living room that the kitchen seemed hazy. Grandma stated he was crazy. Another uncle called out that something was burning. Grandma told him he was nuts. She then went to open the oven, and could not. Seems that she had nagged Grandad SO OFTEN about "locking" the dishwasher by sliding the lever that when he put turkey into oven, he "locked" it. (Rember those appliances of the 70's with the levers ?) Bad thing about this was what he had done was start the self clean cycle. Once this starts NO WAY to stop. We ended up turning power off to whole house, moving the very warm oven out, removing the cover and door and removing the ashy turkey. We will never forget them trying to cremate the bird.
At least it was a clean bird! :0
That would have been a good way to remember grand dad when it was his time to go.
Everyone gathered at my sister's new house - so new there was hardly any furniture, and even fewer pots and pans. When I arrived, I discovered that I was expected to cook the dinner (because I am SUCH a good cook, of course). She had gone shopping already, though, so I had no say in what I was cooking. She bought a huge turkey - probably about 25 pounds – and a foil pan in which to cook it. My husband and another sister agreed to help me make dinner, and we managed to get the bird into the pan - no easy task when you don't have anything but a fork to work with. The foil pan collapsed as we tried to remove the turkey from her oven, though, sending huge amounts of turkey fat and drippings into the hot oven and all over the kitchen floor. "Mess" doesn't adequately describe it, and the loss of the drippings meant there was no gravy for the meal To top it off, my sister was furious at ME for messing up her kitchen, and she did not apologize either for the flimsy pan or forcing us to cook with it. We cooks briefly thought about serving my sister instead of the turkey, but both sides clenched their teeth and sat down at the table and ate the turkey without gravy. For years afterward I threatened to buy my sister a BIG roasting pan as a Christmas present, but so far I have avoided the temptation.
My birthday was on Thanksgiving one year when I was a little kid. Having a late November birthday, that happens some years. My parents totally forgot in all the confusion and to try to make it up to me, they decided to put a birthday candle in a piece of pumpkin pie. We were at my aunts house and she didn't have any birthday candles, so I got a scented votive candle in the middle of a piece of pie.
Been there done that – by the age of 8 I began wishing that everyone would just forget about my birthday rather than half-remember with the lame candle in pumpkin pie. I was probably the only person under the age of 25 who dreaded my birthday approaching. To this day I will freely tell anyone my true age but not the month or date of my birth.
what changed later – ur date of birth or Thanksgiving day?
I won't speak RedinAustin, but it didn't matter what the date of my birth actually was – because it was in the last week of Nov any sort of Birthday celebration was always postponed or moved up to Thanksgiving. So it was "No you can't have a party, you're going to have an entire Thanksgiving dinner" and "No you can't have friends over, they should be with their own families". But then the chaos of the actual day came and everyone forgot except for the years where I got some leftover candle stub in a piece of pumpkin pie as I dissolved into a puddle of tears.
So it is my own stupid twisted logic that I feel better if no one knows what my birthday is rather than that they know and have forgotton. I am thankful for the food, family, and good fortunes that I have in my life. I am able to enjoy Thanksgiving and do look forward to it. I just don't go looking for a reminder of these ~15 horrible single days from my childhood years (age 3 – 18).
1st Thanksgiving as a young bride. Had another couple over for the festivities and had purchased two cornish hens to cook instead of a traditional (and large) turkey. Thawed both birds properly but nearly gagged when I opened the second bag. The bird had obviously spoiled and been re-frozen. Sent husband out to find a store open on Thanksgiving Day that sold cornish hens. 45 miles later a single store was open, bird was purchased and holiday was saved (if a little late).
One year, I was wearing my grandmother's "Mother's Ring" and sometime after dinner I discovered it was no longer on my finger. After going through everything, including the bird carcass, I finally gave up and said goodbye to the ring. Three years later, my husband was hooking up the ice machine, and found it under the fridge.
After moving into our new home, we decided to host Thanksgiving for the family. There was an extra refrigerator in the basement, so we stored most of the purchased vegetables, turkey, etc., in that refrigerator. Thanksgiving day we awoke to a horrible odor – as if something had died. We were sniffing the walls, everything! As we made our way to the basement, the odor intensified – so much so that we were gagging. A strange noise was coiming from the refrigerator and as we neared we realized the culprit of the odor was in deed the refrigerator! As we carefully opened the door to the refrigerator – all the while using a towel to cover our mouths – our worst nightmare appeared before our eyes! The turkey was cooking in it's original package (yes, it was bubbling!) and the mushrooms were cooked beyond recognition! We quickly shut the door and ran to the utility sink by the washer/dryer and started gagging! Apparently, the refrigerator coolant ceased sometime during the night, however, the motor continued which then turned our refrigerator into an oven! Luckily it didn't catch on fire, but the Thanksgiving dinner was history! I quickly ran out on Thanksgiving day trying to locate a fresh turkey and the other ingredients that were now destroyed. That is not an easy feat on Thanksgiving day, nor is it inexpensive! My once free frozen turkey had turned into a $75 fresh organic turkey! After all the ingredients were purchased, I then rushed home to find my husband airing out the house and spraying with all kinds of deodorizers. Once the guests started arriving, my husband quickly ushered the men to the basement to assist in removing the demon refrigerator. After successfully shrink-wrapping the refrigerator, it was moved to the curb for trash removal. I pray no one opened that refrigerator at the dump!
Thanksgiving 1994. My grandfather, who had been home in a hospital bed for 3 weeks so he could be surrounded by family as he went through the final stages of liver cancer, died literally as the Thanksgiving turkey was pulled out of the oven. Needless to say, it was a few years before the holiday was anything but a time of mourning for my dad and the rest of us.
Fried Sqirrel. I was trying to impress a guy I was dating with my cooking skills. Had the electric-oven all warmed up and things were going pretty well... up until I put the Turkey in the oven... suddenly a flash of light outside and the electric went out! Took three hours to have some poor electric company technicians come out and remove the fried squierrel from the transformer behind the house... dinner was going to be late, so we ended up crashing a good friends party... once we returned home, we finally had 'our dinner'... it turned out to be the best 'slow cooked' turkey i ever made :)
I had been dating my now-husband for three months and was going to his parent's house for Thanksgiving since I had gone to college several states away from home. On Thanksgiving morning I woke up with a fever of 104. Needless to say, we went to the hospital where I was admitted with pneumonia. I think I must have committed a terrible treason by actually losing weight on Thanksgiving. However, this incident ended up endearing me in the heart of my future mother-in-law and is a touching story that is often refered to.
OMG that is classic! It's like a scene from "everyone loves Raymond."
OOPS How did that happen? It posted to the wrong post.
The first time I cooked Thanksgiving for our entire family...40 plus people were coming to my house. I had cooked for 3 days and everything had gone fairly smoothly until the morning of Thanksgiving when our fridge stopped working! Since it was Thanksgiving, there was no chance of getting a repair guy out to work on it nor was there any chance of replacing it. I sent out a desperate call for coolers and ice and tried to keep my cool during the insanity. :)
We had a pumpkin pie splatter all over the oven. My friend helping me cook (I had surgery several days prior) forgot to put a cookie pan under the pie tin and it folded in half when she tried to take it out of the oven. Thankfully her hubby saved the day by stopping at the store (yes, one was open) and picking up an already-made pie.
There are two Thanksgiving stories that come to mind.
1. My dad bought an organic turkey a few years ago but did not realize that not all of the feathers were pulled from it. So there we are trying to get the bird in the oven on time, sitting with pliers yanking feathers out from under the wings. (I am now a vegetarian
2. When I was younger I used to HATE brussels sprouts. My dad makes them every year, but one year I walked into the kitchen to find that he had dropped the pan on the floor and was picking up the brussels and putting them back into the serving dish. He made me a deal that I would not have to eat any brussels if I didn't tell anyone what had happened. Everyone enjoyed them that year without knowing a thing.
had a power outage just as I started the turkey. took it to my brothers house to cook and with it halfway done he had a power outage. Risked food poisoning and took it a friends house to cook. We didn't eat until 7 o'clock that night.
Wow, what are the odds? You must have been mortified!
Three turkey days come to mind: the first, back in the '60s, at my aunt and uncle's house... Aunt Ellen's oven wasn't heating properly and the 32-lb. tom turkey wasn't anywhere near thawed in the first place... she started the turkey at 0400h and we ate dinner at 2100h. (Why she had a bird that big I'll never know... our combined families, including all three generations, only totalled 10 people. Maybe she figured that, between my two cousins and myself, we'd eat more than the seven adults combined [in that regard, she was absolutely right].) The second was a mob scene at my soon-to-be sister-in-law's house a few years later... my wife's dear sister did NOT know how to cook, and her husband's relatives weren't exactly helping matters either. Let's just say that's the only Thanksgiving where I ever lost weight! Fast forward 20 plus years, this time in our own kitchen: our older daughter, who was pregnant with our first grandchild, and her husband had come back home to North Carolina for Thanksgiving. I opened the turkey package and it was spoiled. Since we lived about halfway between Raleigh and Rocky Mount, we made a number of phone calls and finally located a grocery in Raleigh that had a couple of fresh turkeys still on hand and was willing to hold one for us until we could get there (almost an hour's drive). Dinner was about four hours late as a result (it was a 27 lb. bird, vs. the 16 lb. bird we had planned), but – unlike my aunt some 30 plus years before – we had enough other lunch food on hand that no one went hungry in the meantime.
As children, one year my sister and I both came down with the stomach flu on T-day morning. After calling our extended family to tell them we wouldn't make it to the en masse gathering, my dad scoured grocery stores for a turkey and my mom whipped up some last minute dishes. Thanks, mom & dad! The leftovers were great. :-)
My elderly mother-in-law had an allergic reaction to shrimp and started to choke. We had to call the paramedics and have her taken to the hospital. We never finished the meal or dessert. She spent a day in the hospital and we had lots of leftovers.
Other – We were having dinner at my parents and everyone was in the kitchen at one time. Under the kitchen in the basement, there was a steel brace that helped support the floor joist. Over the years, the lowest section of it had been in standing water on and off and had apparently rusted. When for some reason, everyone decided to go to the kitchen at one time, the rust gave out and there was an earthquake type feeling as the floor felt like it dropped a few inches. It was quite a surprise and a little scary. It comes up every holiday at their house when someone starts joking about the number of people in the kitchen.
The short of it: My younger sister threw an angsty teenage fit just as guests were arriving for Thanksgiving dinner years ago, and left the house in a huff. Not to have the day ruined, my parents let her go. Just as we were all there and about to serve dinner we get a phone call from the cops. My sister was at the station trying to turn my parents in for "child abuse" out of spite. I look back on this and laugh... then catch a dirty look from the now-married sister.
We travel 7 hours to be with my MIL for Thanksgiving. Bless her restuarant-loving soul, she cannot cook. For many years we ate Thanksgiving in nice restaurants, her treat. Not really Thanksgiving to me, but kind and generous of her. Two years ago, she decided to cook, and it was Costco chicken pot pie and cold green beans. :( So, last year, DH and I decided to cook an elaborate 7 dish meal all from scratch, not one dish could be cooked ahead. We enjoy cooking, so this was fun for us. Unfortuantely, my MIL, who in addition to being a lovely person and unable to cook, is also constantly and insanely late. She was in charge of ferrying all the guests, and showed up 1.5 hours late, with three calls stating "it'll be another 30 minutes." Three times I adjusted the prep and cooking times of 7 dishes. We managed to get all of it to the table perfectly timed. The secret was post-it notes with all the cooking steps, times etc mapped out so I could just move things back 30 mins. Oh, and we cooked the 20 lbs Turkey in a Dutch Oven- so it stayed warm and juicy the whole time. Don't let anyone tell you you can't cook a Turkey the way the French cook Poultry. It was to die for, and if we'd cooked it any other way, it would have been a disaster.
DIL, your story sounds scarily familiar: is your MIL's first name Connie?...hope not.
I have an Aunt who was also Chronically late. My mother figured out when I was young to plan the meal for 1:00 (if dear old auntie wasn't bringing food) or 1:30 (if she was) and tell this particular Aunt that we would be eating at noon. That way, they always managed to show up in time to eat anyways. My Aunt was always surprised that my mom seemed to run behind on her cooking and never did figure out that mom intentionally did this so that everyone else could eat hot food. LOL
Kitchen drain became clogged.
First Thanksgiving after our marriage and I leaned over the stove to stir a pot and didn't realize the front burner was on and set myself on fire – first meal with my new mother in law.
One year, my sister and I cooked the turkey for the first time. We used the 20 minutes per pound rule and our turkey pop-up thingy popped up 2 hours early! We called the butterball hotline and they told us to wrap the turkey in tin foil and then in a bath towel to keep it warm and so it won't dry out. The kicker is the turkey wasn't even all the way done and we had to put it back in the oven for 45 minutes once the guests arrived!
Candle fire in the upstairs bathroom. Cracked the mirror on the vanity. The wax ran down the sink drain and clogged it. My brother had to take the pipe off to clear. Everyone laughed though.
What a waste of hot wax!
Ahhhh yes, what a waste.
A few years ago one of my co-workers was hosting Thanksgiving dinner for her family. Since her mom had to drive a long way to get to her house, she sent the ingredients for the green bean casserole to her daughters house. My friend noticed that her mother had included crumbled bacon, not something she usually added, but my friend included them anyway. During dinner one of her nieces commented on the added bacon. At which point her mother turned a little green, and gently informed everyone that the "bacon" was really her dog's "beggin strips" that she had packed for his snack! My friend will never live down the dog food casserole!
OMG! Hilarious!
Either that story is totally made up, or your friend lied to you. What would be the benefit of sending the ingredients ahead? they could be shipped but not driven in a car? Why wouldn't she have just had her daughter buy the ingredients and send a check? Funny story though, just entirely unbelievable.
No complaints here – just had to share a recipe – I made the BEST turkey ever last week in a trial T-day run. I cut up pats of butter and then separated the skin from the meat and wedged the butter pats all over the bird. It looked very lumpy, but OMG was that a buttery/juicy bird! Probably didn't hurt that it started out as a butterball too. :)
My mom always did that with all her turkeys. Oh and we cook them breast side down instead of us, which makes the breast extra juicy and tender and not dry like so many others I have eaten. I don't think we ever had a family Thanksgiving disaster. I had been cooking for years before Thanksgiving was turned over to me in the family and I had helped my mom so many times, I never had an issue. Luckily for me. :)
It's a good thing it's the turkey breast that is cooked down instead of us.
My wife was cooking a realy big turkey. To big for the pan, so when the fat started dripping. The fire alarm vent off and here comes the boys in red. Sorry guys.
A guest's Jack Russell jumped on my grandmother's table and walked across in the middle of dinner. Micraculously, all of her china, candles, and crocheted tablecloth survived unscathed.
Oh I like this story. Love dogs, they always add an element of fun to a formal dinner.
As a JRT owner, I completely believe this. We've had very similar experiences.
aw family gatherings....... miss those wonderful days
You cant really do worse than my moms cooking, so every thanksgiving is equally bad. I usually fill up on rolls since she buys those premade, theyre the only thing edible.
2 different Thanksgivings: One year we purchased a turkey from the local 4-H livestock auction. The thing was HUGE and took way longer to cook. That set dinner back about 3-4 hours. Another year, our dog had surgery the day before Thanksgiving and passed away Thanksgiving morning from complications. Definitely put a damper on the whole Holiday season.
Other – I opened our fresh turkey from TJ's to find that the metal clasp hadn't sealed properly – there was a blue-ish/black mold all over the turkey along with a foul stench that didn't come out until the wrapping came off. My husband ran out for a new turkey (from another store) – it wasn't sealed either. The third was the charm (though my appetite was well gone by then).
This didn't happen to me, but to my sister-in-law as a young bride making her very first Thanksgiving dinner. She went to my grandmother asking for advice on making stuffing for her turkey. My grandmother gave her a great recipe, but as a joke added the comment that she should add unpopped popcorn kernels to the stuffing mixture. When asked why, she told s-i-l that when the popcorn popped out of the end, you would know the turkey was done. S-i-l believed her. Thanksgiving day...dinner... the turkey looks great and was carved and passed, along with helpings of stuffing. It only took a minute or so for people to start discretely spitting out the unpopped kernels with various expressions of surprise, disbelief and concern...you got it...she took Gram's advice! Admid the laughter, she commented that she wondered how the turkey got done without the popcorn popping! S-i-l has since passed away, but it remains one of our funniest T-day stories ever.
My mother (battling breast cancer at the time) reached into the oven to take out the turkey. Our pan that year wasn't big enough for the size of the turkey so we attempted to use one of those flimsy one-time use pans. The collapsing pan spilled some of the juice into the oven, spurting out some flames – and catching my mother's wig on fire. Luckily no one was hurt, but just a bit frightening.
My aunt ruined the pudding by being unable to add (fractions - so hard!) so my favorite cousin and I spent much of Thanksgiving morning driving around, trying to find a place that was open so we could buy non-instant chocolate pudding. Nothing is open on Thanksgiving Day - we found some, three hours later, in the back of my friend's pantry (although Mom had to settle for instant at that point). Thanksgiving saved! And I got to spend the whole day with my favorite cousin, instead of being harassed by my loving relatives.
Cassie, here is easy chocolate pudding you can make at home. 2 cups milk, 1/3 cup sugar, 1/4 cup cocoa, 1/4 cup cornstarch. Mix cold and then bring to boil slowly on top of the stove (about 8 to 10 minutes). Cool slightly and stir in 3 tablespoons of butter and 1/2 tsp of vanilla. Pour into serving dishes and refrigerate.
Back in 1977, they used to put the giblets in a little plastic bag pouch inside the turkey. My turkey wasn't quite thawed, but I figured the oven would finish defrosting it. Needless to say, I accidently left the bag and all in there. We discovered it during carving! Yuck!
Ouch! Xo
My Birthday is around that holiday. Each year the Turkey Gets Bigger, this time, because of budget cuts, we always go with Organic Turkey From Jimbo's in CA (California) This year we decided we go out and not have family over. I want a thanksgiving somewhere outside. please? We have to wash our hands as my grandpa says" Wash your hands". My point is Lets just have a quiet Thanksgiving, no TV, No Video games, more board games. nothing electronic. Simplify Thanksgiving.
How about a fridge full of food that breaks the night before? Has that happened to anybody? It wasn't Thanksgiving, but it happened to my parents the night before Passover two years in a row. Sheer panic.
Yeah, cranberry stains can't be removed from old carpet, either–found that out one Christmas many years ago, with my sisters strung cranberries and popcorn as a garland for the tree. Pretty, but messy.
I once baked a turkey breast and it was beautiful. Fully cooked. Perfectly browned. Gorgeous. Then I went to cut into it and blood came out – there was apparently a large nasty tumor on one side. It was red, black and purple and nauseating. We didn't have any turkey for several years but eventually got over our fear.
EEeeeewwwwwwww. :)
O.M.G. :O
Uncle Milo! Is that you?
Oh -oh – another one! One year on Thanksgiving Day my mom had put the turkey in the oven, gotten the gravy started and was a little distracted when she started on the cranberry orange relish. She makes it in a blender. She filled the blender with raw cranberries and orange sections, had to answer the phone, give the dog some water, tend to something else, then she remembered that she hadn't finished making the relish, so she reached behind her and hit the 'on' button on the blender. Well, we heard her shriek from the other end of the house and came running. The kitchen ceiling, the counters, the floor and Mom were all covered with cranberries and cranberry juice stains. She had forgotten to put the lid on the blender jar. Yikes! Dad ended up (later) having to re-paint the kitchen, the stains wouldn't scrub off the walls and ceiling.
My first Thanksgiving with my new in laws, my new Mom-in law was slicing cucumbers on one of those boards that slices really thin and sliced off the top of 3 of her fingers – needless to say we spent the next 3 hours in the ER – but we bonded really well!!! – had to wait until the following year for her wonderful cucumber salad (only for holidays!)
Cleaned the stove thoroughly in preparation for the abuse it was about to endure... Apparently the new drip pans weren't replaced exactly right and shorted against the element, completely frying the control circuits (and giving me quite a jolt.)
The day before Thanksgiving.
The only solution: replacement.
Dinner was at drunk Aunt Joan's house one year. Needless to say she barely even cooked the turkey and it was still mostly raw and everything else was stone cold. Mom went out to her car and from the trunk, produced a fully cooked, still fairly warm, turkey & stuffing. Thanksgiving was saved and the microwave warmed everyone's plate of food back up to an edible temperature.
Maybe toss in a side of intervention next time. <3
We forgot to turn on the oven once. We set it to the right temperature, but we forgot to turn the "Bake" function on.
That exact situation happened to my mother a few years ago... We pulled it out of the oven after several hours, had the table all set and a hungry family sitting down to eat... And a pink bird. We never made that mistake again! XD
My sister did that one year and we ate dinner about midnight!
Growing up in a foodie family, we generally could feed an army. One year my parents (who grew up during the depression) decided to get a smoked turkey in addition to the regular Pterodactyl-sized one we baked and the linebacker sized ham. Middle of the afternoon before the meal and my mom sees my brother's dog outside with something – "What does Madie have out there?" Upon going outside I realize its the *&^#& smoked turkey!!! Madie sees me coming, realized what she's in for, and does her best to chomp her last bites. I bring what's left back inside – picture one side of the bird shredded and covered in leaves, the other side still looks picture perfect. Mom's response after "That damn that dog", "Just brush the one side off, its still good" In unison the rest of the family said NO. I reached for more scotch! Comfortable numb, comfortably numb for the rest of the day.
Other – the year I bought my house in Alaska, I closed on Halloween so my housewarming party was Thanksgiving dinner. The kitchen drain backed up halfway through the party/dinner as I was trying to run the dishwasher! One couple who arrived late ran off to the supermarket to pick up a pumpkin pie because my cat had decided to inspect the buffet table while we were all in the living room, and when dessert time came (about the same time the sink was backing up all over the floor), we found kitty paw prints right across my pumpkin pie -arrrrgggh. My friends returned with a store-bought pie and a housewarming gift – a plunger with a big red ribbon on it!
1st thankgiving in Germany, on my own no mom for backup, Had only been married little over a year. We were going to a friend's house for dinner. I had made a pumkin pie from scratch. I mean peeling the pumkin and cooking it down to make the filling. Made the 2 pies the night before (one for tasting to make sure it was good). Took the pie out and placed it on the counter while we finished getting ready. Ready to leave, when to pick up the pie, our new little kitten was sitting in the pie just eatting away. Guess the pumkin pie was good.
"I can haz pumkins pie?"
^win
Sara, your story sounds very similiar to what I once saw on America's Funniest Home videos: a young wife did not take the gibblets out, the camera caught the family's horrified looks gasps when they were pulled out of the roasted bird at the table: she thought it was pre-stuffed! Pretty funny actually. shreeves, hope Mom was ok after her "trip".
I used to have a brother in law who was gay and used to use holidays to explain how nature intended everyone to be gay and that heteros are the ones to have it wrong. I used to have a hard time not leveling this clown.
LOL, yes and then no one would be making babies and we'd just die out.
Yeah, but would it really be that bad if that happened?
Creep, huh? Nice your brorther is so welcome in your home he feels he has to defend his chosen path. Thanksgoving must be a real blast at your house.
Clown, not creep. My apologies.
I selected "A dish just plain ol' flopped." I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time two years ago. I received a recipe for gravy that required using the giblets from the turkey. I didn't even know that the giblets were, so I just started pulling stuff out from inside the bird and putting it in the gravy to cook down.
As everything was finishing, I noticed that the "gravy" didn't look anything like what gravy should look like. In the meantime, my husband was slicing the turkey and found the bag of giblets... Thankfully some more experienced cooks had arrived by that time, and were able to help me make a batch of gravy last minute. Lesson learned....
I selected "other" because of that hidden giblet packet. My first time cooking Thanksgiving dinner, I found the parts inside the body cavity but didn't know to look in the neck cavity for the little packet of giblets. I thought we just got shorted. Of course, when we carved the bird there they were - looking disgusting with bits of waxed paper everywhere.
KAT KINSMAN: Sarah and I aren't the first or the last. Put that neck cavity on your list of things to warn first-timers about.
We were at my aunt's house one year and Mom was carrying the 25 lb turkey into the dining room on a big platter. She couldn't see where she was walking & forgot there was a step up into the room ... she tripped over the step & the turkey went flying – hitting the wall & bouncing several times before coming to rest in the corner. We washed off the dog hair & ate it anyway. And it was good!
That's priceless! I hope everyone had a good laugh!
A precious "Julia Child" moment. LOL!
Any day without Eatocracy is a major emergency in my book!
I had just finished making the pies the night before Thanksgiving, they came out beautiful, the best ever. Just as I went to take them out of the oven, I heard a loud pop and a sizzle and watched as the heating element in my oven burned out. We ended up taking the turkey to my mother-in-laws house, two towns away to cook on Thanksgiving morning, we picked it up in the afternoon and it wasn't even half cooked. Dinner was a total disaster but we had a wonderful time anyway.
Judy, if you had pie then it wasn't a total disaster :)
A few years ago my mom and I rented a beach house on the ocean to celebrate our Thanksgiving. We prepared our dressing ahead of time in a ceramic dish and when it was finished my mom took it out of the oven and put it on the stove top. Unaware that she hadn't turned off the electric burner (there were no flames like a gas stove!) she put the stuffing container right on the hot burner. Not realizing her folly, we both stepped out onto the porch to look at the ocean. After about a minute we both heard the smoke alarm and rushed back into the house to find the kitchen filling with smoke. The ceramic dish had cracked from the heat of the burner, spilling the stuffing onto the hot burner and igniting the spilled contents. Quick thinking/action saved the kitchen/house from further destruction.
It is the most memorable Thanksgiving I have ever had!
I've ruined two glass baking dishes the same way! I would not realize the burner was on the stove, and I would set a dish on the stove after taking it out of the oven. Then I would hear a mysterious crackling sound. I was always terrified that if I touched them, they would explode in my hands. So I'd quickly turn off the burner and run away. Then they would explode and I would have to come back into the room and spend all day cleaning tiny shards of glass from all over the kitchen, and figuring out something else to serve for dinner. :(
Snerk! JdMc, you made me lol! And the office is very quiet today.
Yeah, I assume since it's Friday most of us are actually busy working today, unlike yesterday. Except me. Always time for Eatocracy.
And we love you for it, Jdiz.
A day without Eatocracy is like a day without food itself, the very sustenance of life!
Along with beer.
I'm pants-soiling anxious every minute of the day, regardless of upcoming festivities.
I've never been a part of any of these 'emergencies'. Trying to overdo things is where people run into trouble and start effing up, like burn their turkey. LOL, that's always a funny subject on sitcoms around this time of year.
JDizzle, where are you going for Thanksgiving, I want to be there for the hilarity!
Not sure, might be watching TV by myself. GF and family might take advantage of doubletime holiday shifts at their workplaces, then we celebrate later. Problem is I work the day and Saturday after. Oh, no! No Thanksgiving for me?!?!
I'll raise my drink in your honor and mention your lonely self in the Turkey blessing. I'm sure you'll find plenty to do and worse case scenario just put on "Dancing Queen" and get out the candles.
I will add incense to specialize the occasion. Lavender.
No power! Huge storm snowed us in one year, and we were without power or heat from Wednesday to Saturday. We ended up camping in front of our huge wood fireplace for warmth, and my mom took all the food from the fridge and stowed it in a snowbank. We were having a standing rib roast that year, which my mom cooked over an open fire. With some slight variations, she managed too cook everything we'd normally have, and we all enjoyed the experimentation enormously. Mom said it couldn't get much more primitive, but then Dad pointed out he didn't have to hunt the cow. Much fun was had by all!
Imagine a Thanksgiving with so much food that nobody noticed the turkey was never served. Or, trying to host Thanksgiving in China where holiday staples like turkey and dinner rolls are almost impossible to find. Not every Thanksgiving in America is a folk-art painting. They are as varied as Americans themselves, and run the spectrum of emotion and experience – from as rural as watching Grandma slaughter the holiday bird by the barn, to the traditional with family football games in the yard, and to the modern with multicultural meals complete with eggrolls.
It is a holiday for everyone – regardless of whether arrival to the United States was via the Mayflower, Ellis Island, international airport, or any other way. It is a holiday steeped in traditions (which are either faithfully followed, radically ignored, or adapted to individual circumstances), memories and images.
In Thanksgiving Tales: True Stories of the Holiday in America, 48 writers from across the United States share their individual stories and memories of Thanksgiving and provide insight into the variety of ways the holiday is experienced, celebrated, viewed and cherished by Americans. But, whether held in a country farmhouse, amid the frantic pace of New York City, or in a restaurant, there are a number of common elements. These stories reveal how seemingly simple things- like the passing of a tradition to the next generation, sitting next to Grandpa, favorite foods and recipes, or certain sounds, sights, and smells – can have special meaning and leave warm and indelible memories.
Some of the stories describe the chaos and mishaps of meal preparation, family arguments and first-time hosts – all crises then, but now looked upon with laughter. Other stories recount family traditions, meaningful moments, memorable guests and hosts, remembering those no longer with us, being alone or out-and-out hating the holiday. Thanksgiving Tales is a reflection of Americans, as much as it is a look at the holiday.
It is a testament to the importance of the holiday that Americans will go to great lengths for Thanksgiving – spending money to travel long distances or taking days to prepare meals, sometimes only to find themselves seated next to the weird cousin or sick all night from bacteria-laden food. Yet, it's done all over again the next year.
http://www.thanksgivingtales.com