Dunno what it is. Perhaps it's the creeping chill, the grey October skies, or even the post Eatocracy Week letdown when we realize we're not going to hear our site's name uttered in the dulcet tones of Ali Velshi, TJ Holmes and Don Lemon several times daily.
Whatever the root cause, we're in a bit of a mood this week. Monday, we polled our reading public on restaurant flaws they just can't stomach. Yesterday, it was irksome grocery store shoppers. Today - it's party poopers.
We like to fancy ourselves dandy party guests. We arrive with a host gift, offer to help during and with clean-up, mix and mingle with all manner of people and manage to remain reasonably tippled (when appropriate) while never actually toppling. Frankly, most folks know when to say "Whooooo!" but it just takes one bad guest to make the whole event a big ol' "Whoops!"
A couple tips for a more controlled party:
– People going through/stealing your stuff. We had this problem at our first college party. Some things went missing, but there were a lot of randoms so we had no idea who did what. So before our next party, we went to the pistol range and put about 50 rounds through a couple silouette targets. Put one up behind the toilet in each bathroom and wrote SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT WHEN CONSIDERING WHETHER TO GO THROUGH OUR SHIT. We never had a problem again.
-People stealing liquor- also found out that randoms like stealing liquor as a hobby. Our solution was to take an empty jack daniels bottle and fill it with a $7 rotgut whiskey and some laxative. Again, problem solved itself.
At our office Christmas party, our secretary showed up with her 2 year-old kid and then proceeded to overdose on prescription pills. Some people had to watch her kid while others had to deal with her (including a co-worker's wife, who had the pleasure of helping her go to the bathroom).
I hate it when my party guests decide to help themselves to the food in the fridge our pantry instead of what was set out for the party. We put out plenty of food and drinks (the things that are best consumed cold are in on ice, so we aren't forcing our guests to drink lukewarm beer or pop or anything) so there isn't any reason for them to be raiding through the rest of our stuff. One of my roommate's boyfriend's friends once took a dish of leftovers from our fridge, heated it up, grabbed a fork and started eating! Wtf? I don't know if the guests who do this don't understand that they are supposed to eat from the stuff that's been set out or if they just don't want any of what we provided. If it's the latter and you are that picky then you should bring something with you that you know you will like.
Like others, I hate people going through my stuff too. We're actually sort of lucky though, our apartment for some reason had bedroom doors that you can lock with a key from the outside. We thought it was strange at first but it's been really useful for parties–we just lock people out of our rooms. There's no reason for them to be there anyway.
I heard that Rick Sanchez is available for your party's!
Since Timmy lost Lassie he has gone to the "Darkside"!
The only two party fouls I hate are wallflowers and people who bring their children who don't listen over. I have 3 children and all of my friends have children so all of our parties include a safe place for the children to play while mommy and daddy have time to chill. However, If I invite you, I expect your children to be mindful of the rules of my house and I expect you to actually get up off your BUTT and join in. We might have drunks, and we are funny as hell when we get together, especially when all the men decide then need to relieve themselves on the pine tree out back. Our select group of friends rotate house parties every month or so, and it's expected that we all contribute something to the evening. Couples have had to learn to trade off for who gets to drink and air mattresses are always available if someone isn't sober to drive.
Thank you Danmac: I was reprimanded by my boss for not attending the wake of a miserable co-worker who lied about me and tried to foist all her unwanted menial tasks on me. ANd apparently I was obligated to mourn her...
guess you're happy she is dead huh!
How about the rediculous peer pressure to attend someone's drunken orgy in the first place?
Especially the workplace?
"It's the Company Party – you're expected to be there!"
It's bad enough I have to work with you losers – I don't want to hang with you after hours...
I'd say not finishing your beers. I usually buy the beer and I hate picking up half empty cans the next day.
After my 25th brithday party during which our bathroom was trashed, broken glass filled our stairs and guests vomited on our porch, I decided 'no more parties' and with the exception of small dinner parties and family gatherings, I have stuck to that resolution and never regretted it. Unfortunately there are those who never grow up and learn to respect other people or thier property. So unless you are willing to accept loss and theft of property and damage to your home, dont' throw parties.
The party of all parties of my life...my wedding reception. VERY specific guest list. If your name is on the invitation and reply envelope and it says nothing about "and guest," you are NOT welcome to bring a guest. At my reception, we invited a woman who went to high school with my husband. Neither of us are really all that fond of her, but she kind of comes with the "group" so we felt obligated to invite her, but we decided not to allow her to bring a guest – she would already have plenty of friends at the reception. Anyway, she showed up and brought a guest – she brought the most wretched woman with her. I've met her a few times before and absolutely can't stand her. Not only that, but her friend showed up in JEANS. I'm not usually such a biznitch, but I had security bounce her friend. So the moral of the story is...even if you think it's okay to bring a friend because who will notice? It's not cool. Don't do it unless you check with the host or hostess first, regardless of what kind of party it is.
I think not offering to help clean up and going through my personal things is the worst. When I have a party I intend on people, including myself getting drunk and if they are too drunk to drive I don't want them to drive.... I know that when my friends have parties I ask if I can stay until morning on the couch or floor. If the say no I just don't drink. But if someone asks me if they can crash at my place after a party.. I have no issue with that. Because I had a DUI once before when I was younger and it was not too much fun.
I tend to get belligerant and start cackling uncontrollably. It's a real problem. Then I usually pass out and take up an entire couch. People are generally unable to wake me. Once I did wake up and a fell over and somehow smacked the top of my head on the floor. Everyone was scared I killed myself. Now they just let me sleep. Lately I've taken to trolling about the Jersey Shore in search of who knows what. I passed out while peeing on some shrubberies and the police found me "exposed." I think the world is a dangerous place and we could save it with love. Who wants a hug?
My wife and I had kids early and the don't go if you can't find a sitter hit home pretty hard. But don't bring the kids. ever, they break stuff, chase the dog, bother everbody else, and they aren't nearly as cute as you think they are. They also aren't nearly as well behaved and if I have to correct them you will both be sent home with notes.
Also want to say the hour I wasted at work reading this made my day. Party On
I hate it when northeastern elitest Jews show up.
you are "king" when you get started rumminging thru the hosts panty hamper!! i could nesstle up all night in those soiled linnens.... mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!
Esteban – you from Cincy? I once created a hole about 4 x 2 at a house party. I was hammered on tequila. Just wanted to apologize for that, but glad it is still reminisced about. I still see Bill all the time.
first thing i look for at a party is the hamper..
Having s*x with the hosts partner/spouse/gf/bf during the party...yep not a wise choice
As a bald, middle-aged, overweight handicapped man I don't get invited to many parties. But when I do get invited to a soiree, my pet peeve is when there aren't any really hot girls there and I have to call a service to find someone to "escort" me that evening.
LOL...I like to attend parties, take my dog with me and let it run wild. Its kinda funny because sooner or later little spot will disappear and leave a calling card for the Host...LMAO!!
My wife and I throw a number of parties for a wide range of people (we're also in our mid 20's). Everything on that list is forgivable in my book EXCEPT looking through my personal belongings. All of the above are party fouls and necessitate an apology by the offender, but there is no excuse for looking through the personal items at anyone's home.
First off, I wanna thank everyone here for making me ROFLMAO until I nearly cried. My biggest pet peeve is when I ask everyone who plans on coming to the party if they have any food allergies, they all say NO, but then somebody invariably has a reaction to something anyhow.. (peanuts in the chex mix, anyone?) Rushing them to the hospital while everyone else is having a great time is a real bummer.
My dad and brother were the worst party guests ever! I used to dread having them over. They would show up 30-60 minutes early, no matter what you would say! Then, expect to be waited on while you were getting things ready. As soon as the food was out, they would dash to the table and begin serving themselves and eating prior to everyone else. They had horrible table manners and refused to use coasters or napkins. Then get up when they were done, leaving their dirty dishes behind. To make things worse, neither bathed or washed their clothes so imagine the smell. When it was time to go, they would not say goodbye to anyone – just leave. Oh, and did I mention they criticized my cooking and music too? Nor would they bring anything. Awful, awful, awful. My dad recently passed & I rarely see my brother anymore, thankfully.
Back when I was in college, I would walk up behind a group of girls, fart, then watch them blame it on each other HAHAHAHAHA
Sounds like you were a pig, then and now.
Not offering to help clean up is a party foul? Very hospitable.
Reminds me of a scene from Family Guy.
Quagmire: Hey who wants to play drink the beer?
Peter: Right here
Quagmire: You win!
Peter: Alright, what do I win?
Quagmire: Another beer!
Peter: Oh I'm going for the high score
Quagmire: Well actually Charlie has the high score.
Charlie: Hey man, your clock won't flush.
Uninvited guests come to your party and end up having sex in your washroom on New Years Eve. Good times!
what annoys me is when i have guests over for even just a simple backyard bbq and they hover over me and critique my cooking. i dont care that you think its weird i dont add eggs to my ground beef patties. enjoy your free meal.
Putting a wet glass on a nice piece of furniture. Shame on you, you turd.
My brother told me that he'd once had a party when my parents were out of town and one of his drunk buddies puked on their beautifully decorated Christmas tree.
naked people, having sex at my kitchen table, while several others continue to play cards. later, someone told them to get a room and they chose mine....man, that burns me.
wait! now that i think about it.....................................
The worst party guest I ever had crawled into bed with me and my boyfriend and tried to make out with. I'm not sure if this was before or after he peed in the hallway in front of the apartment down the hall.
having to take someone to the hospital because of alcohol poisoning.
Is that Billy Zane asleep on the couch?
What's the point of a party? doesn't all this beg the question??... personally if I invite people over I intend for them to do as they wish. I have no interest in controlling their behavior.. I have no expectations of them.. I want them to be themselves as though they would anywhere they are comfortable or free. If they get drunk so be it... If they break something – well for Christ's sake – it's just stuff people....!! The point is to share what you have.. they should eat your food.. drink your liquor.. make themselves at home...... what some of you are talking about doesn't sound like a party.. it's sounds like a work meeting .. if everybody's gotta behave a certain way to please you why would they want to come in the first place? The host pleases the guests... not the other way around.
Some people prefer friends who behave like civilized human beings, not a bunch of shaved apes.
I doubt any person’s version of ‘civilized’ is wholly innocent. One man’s badly behaved ‘shaved ape’ is another man’s child at play in the fields of the Lord. Sounds pretty judgmental to ask someone to come to your home to celebrate, to presumably enjoy themselves , then set out a precise order of how one might ‘properly enjoy oneself’. It is in this case about you? Not what you’re guest might enjoy… but about what you’d enjoy happening or not happening... what you find appropriate in terms of behavior. If it’s a kid’s birthday party, well sure… I can see an argument but I’d think an adult could handle most any display of behavior and perhaps still manage to enjoy themselves as well … unless you’re a prude… then perhaps you should socialize in the church abbey or around the office water cooler where someone has set appropriate rules of behavior. Again, that’s a meeting not a party.
I once had an uninvited guest over who not only got sloppy drunk, but she ate everything in my kitchen. Literally. Even TWO sticks of BUTTER!
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