 September 30th, 2010
08:30 AM ET
Editor's note: all week, CNN Newsroom, Rick's List and Eatocracy are teaming up to take a look the effects our dining choices have on our minds, bodies and wallets. Tune into CNN Newsroom daily from 9 a.m. – 5 p.m. ET for on-air coverage and join in the discussion here on Eatocracy. ALL COVERAGE Sara Leeder is a producer on The Cafferty File. “Hi, honey. I’m home. What’s for dinner?” Ok, maybe I don’t always say “honey,” but most nights when walking through the door at 7:30, I do ask what’s for dinner. My husband and I both work full-time jobs and we both take care of our toddler son, but my husband gets home from work a couple of hours earlier than I do. This means that if we’re going to eat a home-cooked meal, he will be the one slaving over the hot stove. As it turns out my husband is part of a growing group of men who are doing the cooking. Some of them are so into it, they’re called “gastrosexuals.” When we started dating, I used to joke with my him that I was the only one who ever did any cooking. Well, not anymore. Two to three nights a week he’s the one sautéing, slicing and dicing. And he’s not half bad either. Don’t bite the wedding-ringed hand that feeds you. For sure, the days of June Cleaver are long gone. My husband is far from the only man in town cooking up a storm. A recent British study shows that since 1961, men have almost tripled the time they spend in the kitchen. Back then, they spent just 12 minutes a day cooking. Now they spend more than a half an hour. The same study shows the trend has gone in the opposite direction for women. We now spend much less time in the kitchen – a little over an hour a day, down from two hours. Researchers also say about 40% of men in the U.S. will cook dinner over the next two weeks. These guys certainly don’t have to look far for role models - all you have to do is turn on the Food Network, and you’d be hard-pressed not to find a man in the kitchen. Chefs like Bobby Flay and Mario Batali have become national celebrities. In some ways, it seems like cooking is another sport to men. Just think about the names of some of those food shows, with words like “Throwdown”, “Iron Chef”, and “Challenge.” There are even blogs and magazines dedicated to men who cook. Seth Kolloen, the editor at ManTestedRecipes.com, says men prefer cooking savory and meaty foods, like chili. A lot of the shared recipes on their website involve grilling and bold flavors. This includes dishes like “Pan Fried Macaroni and Cheese (with ham)” and “When a man wears a SKIRT steak sandwich”. Kolloen says guys aren’t necessarily looking for recipes that are easier and faster - they’re more interested in cooking things until the food is good, regardless of how long that takes. According to Kolloen, the majority of men will cook from 40 minutes to as long as it takes, whereas most women cook from zero to 40 minutes. The gurus at ManTestedRecipes.com say men like cooking for the same reason they like fantasy football or fixing up a truck: it’s fun and it’s a challenge. Plus, when they finish preparing a meal, they've got something to show off. I guess the days when men only cooked over the outdoor grill, BBQ tongs in hand, are long gone. Thinking back to my childhood, I can’t remember my father ever cooking dinner for me and my brothers. My mom, who is a tremendous cook, always used to joke about how he wooed her. When she visited his apartment and he was cooking spaghetti, he would throw the noodles up against the ceiling. Depending on whether or not they stuck, he knew if the pasta was cooked. To this day, if my mom goes away for a few days, she leaves meals she prepared in the fridge for my dad. It’s almost like he’s an astronaut or a camper, eating only what is pre-packed and easy. This sometimes means tuna fish for nights on end - not exactly gourmet. Part of me looks forward to the day when I have more time to cook. I’d love to get better at it. I’d like to relax in preparing a meal for my family. Then again – I won’t lie; it’s kind of nice to come home to a hot meal. And, the only downside is, I’m the one stuck doing the dishes. |
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Yes there should realize the opportunity to RSS commentary, quite simply, CMS is another on the blog.
Men have always been the best chef's in the world. American women now have more help from their spouses than ever before and they still complain. Just never happy !!!! Go find yourselves and import boys, you'll thank me for it later !!!
HA. I do 95% of the cooking and dishes. It helps that I went to culinary school and toiled on a line for many years. Now that i work in an office environment I enjoy cooking a lot more, but I'd still like my wife to cook more than she does.
Mmm I didn't realize there were so many women not cooking anymore. I work full time too and I do almost all the cooking. My fiance just isn't very good at it. If I'm sick we end up having frozen something for dinner.
However he does cook breakfast saturday mornings and he gets up earlier then me to take care of my daughter on the weekends so I can sleep in. He also so a lot of house work. So I'll happily cook dinner if means I get out of dishes and vaccuming!
My wife never learned to cook. The only person in her family that found the idea appalling, was her grandmother.
My mother made sure myself and all of my brothers, and I, could take care of ourselves, 100 percent.
I hunt. I fish. I do all of my own automotive work. I do my own home remodels. I do everything possible, that doesn't require a special license in my state. But, I also do all of the things that are typically expected of the female "gender role": Sewing, quilting, cleaning, laundry, etc... My wife was absolutely blown away, when I repaired her 125 year old family heirloom quilt, after our dog chewed a hole through it. Her only words were, "I can't even sew a button on".
I'm the only cook in the house. My wife can boil noodles, make rice, brown ground beef, and make boxed macaroni and cheese – that's it. Anything else comes from my hands.
Just tonight, I spent more than 6 hours preparing "phase one" (pre-cook, before chilling), of my "Heart Attack Stoup". It has SIX POUNDS of various pork products in 6 quarts of my special chicken/pork broth, with various thickening agents (roux, home made bread crumbs, etc), 3 pounds of fresh garden vegetables, and one pound of Kale – all topped off with home made dumplings. It is a special request throughout my family, and all of my brothers can cook quite well.
My wife still can't figure out how to make bread crumbs...
I cook when she's not home, she cooks if I'm not home. Why is everything so politically charged in America? Marriage is a partnership, you support each other.
I'm not at all sure this topic is 'political' but it is emotionally charged in the USA.
"Partnerships" and "support" degrade when the perception arises that one of the partners is not pulling their fair share of the burden. I 'supported' my wife during her demanding school years and during the demanding early child rearing years and during the various crises she's encountered in her life. Trouble is: she's not supporting me during the turmoil I've been facing lately. Instead, she's been lazy and critical and indifferent. Hence, the disillusionment.
I've been doing most of the cooking for 20 years. I'm great at it, I love it, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I learned from my father and his mother, plus absorbing everything I could from every meal or cook I've come across. I hope my sons follow in my footsteps.
Look at that limp wristed toolbag cooking that egg w/ an APRON on in the picture! I cook plenty but it's usually on a grill and even when it ain't there ain't no apron action!
I'm glad more men are cooking, but sad to read fewer women are. If we teamed up together we could cook up a storm. My Dad, a very busy businessman, does all the cooking while my stay at home mom refuses to pitch in. I think it's hurt their marriage over the years and caused a lot of resentment.
In my own marriage, I've felt resentful at times because I do all the cooking. Although, I've finally found a solution I can live with, even if not an ideal one. I met a cooking buddy and we make dinner most nights together and split the work, cost and food between our families. It's been really helpful!
rofl, men are cooking better than women now? Pshh women can't even keep up these days, they are failing at everything. Besides I find it ironic that the best chef in the world is a man.
Ironic?? John, the FIRST chefs in the world were men.
I don't think there's anything weird about a guy cooking, it's just all about the attitude. If my girlfriend/wife came home and just said "Make me supper" or even hinted that she's the boss now, she'd be cooking everyday naked for the next month straight, right after she gets a beating! As long as he wants to do it, and enjoys it, more power to him
The only thing that ever gets baked in my kitchen is me.
Or possibly brownies???
If you ever lived in a traditional home you know food can be used as a weapon, too. Woman starts ragging on you as soon as she gets in the door, after you just spent an hour putting dinner together? Use the force. Put her supper in the trash.
My wife once stir-fried a cucumber. Thus bringing to an end her tenure in the kitchen. I cook, she bakes. It works better that way.
I do wonder why is baking so clearly still a woman's domain? I can honestly say I've cooked hundreds of meals, but only baked on very very rare occasions. That is partly due to the fact that I eat healthy and baking is the opposite of that.
Women constantly bring baked goods into the office (depending on how often can be good or bad) while I never see men do the same. Is baking an inherently female activity as it tends toward comforting/nuturing even?
I would say for home cooks, definitely more bakers are female. I don't know if it is a gender thing or it comes down to cooking is like physical science-you can try different things to build and see how it works. I think this tends to appeal to guys as a way to learn.
Baking is chemistry. If you don't use the exact ingredients (this rule becomes more flexible once you have reached a certain level though) then it doesn't work. I think this structure works well for women to learn.
In professional kitchens, the pastry folks tend to be solitary types with a certain anal retentiveness. You will find lots of men and women that fit that bill in kitchens.
I can't stop laughing! Awesome.
I'm 35 and I love to cook and bake. Being single, I have to do the cleanup too. I would love to find a man that would do the dishes if I cooked. He'd get a lot of good meals out of the deal and if he didn't mind leftovers-could take his lunch to work.
Sadly the guys in the age range I date have been somewhat embittered by women treating them badly. They either have the princess rescue fantasy that no woman will ever live up to-or they have dated all the "beautiful" shallow gals who pounded their hearts into the ground.
I'm 45 and I still keep meeting the wannabe golddiggers who are busy planning the divorce settlement before we are even engaged.
I'm sorry to hear that Loner Man. It really makes me wonder about my gender sometimes. It seems like we gals tend to have a problem with the balance of the self esteem. We either think we are all that-and we're not. Or we are have lower self esteem-when we're really not that bad.
My experience with golddiggers is this-if money is all they value then no amount will ever be enough to buy the esteem and happiness they are looking for. Not that a golddigger would ever ask my opinion on the matter, because my handbag is not Prada, Gucci or Coach. It's just a nice non-designer tote I got at Target.
Alas, it is not just "the age range (you) date." What you describe began a generation ago. That aside, I find your wish to be unusual. You wish to perform a traditional female role in the home, then have a (presumably nontraditional) man clean up after you. I guess anything is possible.
I guess I never thought of it as being unusual, Spoonless Eddie. But I think you are probably right. I guess I always though of it as being more fair-if I cook, he cleans. If he cooks, I clean.
I like "We cook, We clean"...
Dear Nika, when Feminism blew threw town there were TV shows, and books, and meetings to show women the new rules. There was nothing to show men the new rules except the court system. It was not called Humanism, after all.
You know some(not all) of the comments that have been posted on here are from the same men that my FATHER warned me about. I can still remember the conversation while helping him in the kitchen where he said..."don't ever let a man think that this is just your responsibility. It is equal or nothing. He can work in the kitchen just as easily as you can work in the office. Remember that." I have remembered and that is why I live in a happy equal home. If I cook he does the dishes, he if cooks I do the dishes, he takes out the trash, I clean the cat box, I sweep, he mops, I do the laundry, he cleans the bathroom. And just so men don't ask, no my mother was not sitting on the couch watching soaps. He raised us girls by himself because my mother passed away. I think he did a great job.
One of the reasons I know I do the cooking in my house is because when my wife tries, 4-5 times a year, it is great, but she has to follow a recipe to the smallest detail, even if it means going to the store for 1/8 of a teaspoon of whatever. I love to cook with what we have or a few pivotal ingredients. Although she stays home with our kids when I get home I find cooking relaxing with a glass of wine and she sits at the island and tells me all about her day and the kids day.
Cooking should not be relegated to "men's work" or "women's work". It's just another task, and if a couple is lucky enough to have one party that enjoys and does not mind being in charge of it, or both enjoy it equally, so much the better. But the non-cooker should definitely accept cleanup responsibilities and make grateful noises for the meals, and the cooker should similarly acknowledge the cleaner-upper.
The poll results show that the title of the article attracted the attention of males who cook. Duh! The second highest group in the poll is females who go "bummer! why is not my man cooking?", and the third group is females who forward the article to their partners saying "you're not alone honey, keep it up!"... These polls are hilarious.
My husband and I cook together- just different things. I'm a vegetarian, he's not. I agree 100% that the food network and male celebrtity chefs have inspired men- my husband included- to want to cook more. I, too have been inspired to become a better cook.
Malice I am really sorry to hear that. I hope in some way things might improve for you.
Trust me guys, women can be seducaed by great cooking. You get !@^& a lot more if you can cook well.
Agreed, but that only lasts for the first couple times. After that it's business as usual.
My husband & I both work full-time but he usually gets home before I do. We prefer to eat home-cooked meals so he does most of the cooking and it is really appreciated! It gives us more free time together and saves us money, not to mention that he's better at cooking than I am (I stick to baking). If I happen to get home before him, I'll cook. We keep most of the weekday cooking simple and save more involved meals for the weekend. We do weekend cooking together!
While my wife cooks more of the day to day meals, she relies on me to cook for company.
I would venture that most couples today, under 40, either eat out, bring in food already prepared, or the husband cooks. Younger women have stopped doing anything at home other than take care of kids, if they work, according to the people I talk to.
The households where wives still do the cooking, are the less spoiled, older families, over 40.
Rick, if the husband and wife both get home at 7pm, the wife is supposed to stand by the stove and make a meal.....30 yrs ago when a woman was home they could cook...its a different day, u need two incomes to surviive and work later hours....its just easier to order
You know, this is not new than more man are doing the cooking than women. It was time for man to help around the house not only cooking but doing their share of shorts around the house.
Personally I would say that if you do the meal planning, grocery shopping and cooking on a full-time basis, your dues are paid. But yes, we still need our shorts.
who cares about cooking? isnt the point of both people working to make good money and order food...2 hours to cook 10 min to eat and 30 min to do the dishes....i'll order a meal for 30 bucks...i see no reason to cook
Agreed. For the most part, cooking is for those who cannot afford servants.
I've dated a number of women who could not cook. Most of thier excuses were tied to their mother. Their mother refused to teach them how to cook saying that women needed to stop being slaves to men. (Feminnazi types). My mother taught me how to cook, saying that everyone needed to be able to take care of themselves. I feel sorry for these girls who can't cook, clean, balance a check book etc, all because their mother was tired of "Traditional gender roles".
Get a clue mom, it's not about gender roles, it's about being able to fend for yourself.
Side note, do people still balance check books??
I honestly don't think I've written a check in the past year. Ever heard of mint.com or the internet?
I think I met those womens' mothers. My generation started out with great promise, and ended up as such a train wreck.
its 2010 dude, nobody balances check books....and chicks didnt learn how to cook because they were busy trying to get to law school and med school and have great careers where they can eat at restarants every night
Sadly that's the truth... Too involved in themselves to care about a man or a family.
Yes, I'm a woman and I feel this way.
A modern American woman is not guilty of traditional behavior, even if she cooks, so long as she only does it for herself.
I am reverently and affectionatley known as the Grill Master...lol...a Kingsford man! Any given night of the week or weekend I can be smelled grilling up or barbecuing chicken, ham slices, pork loin, sausages, steaks and anything else you can think of in all their infinite varieties. I am always experimenting with new dishes with different marinades, rubs, spices. My wife and I both work full time jobs, with my days usually longer and unpredictable. I don't mind coming home and firing up the grill – I enjoy the satisfaction of making a good meal and in a way it does provide me some stress relief to enjoy the aroma of smoldering applewood or a chunk of mesquite while I'm downing an ice cold bottle of beer.
Did i mention i hate cooking with a passion...
I do 99.9% of the cooking in my household.
Im also the only one Employed, and pay 100% of the household upkeep.
And i do 100% of the yardwork, and about 75% of the cleaning.
Nothing better then being the house slave to a lazy woman who thinks because HER dad was a worthless piece of crap alkie who couldnt hold a job, that its somehow MY job to care for the house and family while she sits on YouTube and MTV.com all day and night.....
I would leave, but then my kids would starve, and since im in utah, i have 0.000000000001% chance in hell of getting custody of my kids.
How'd you find the one woman in Utah that isn't family/home oriented??
Sounds like your screwed the pooch on that one.
http://www.Americanwomensuck.com
Boy if only I knew so many men who liked cooking as much as those posting on here! Unfortunately I get stuck doing all the cooking (packing breakfast and lunches for work then dinner after getting home) and 90% of the dishes/cleaning up. That also includes all the planning and shopping too. Recently my BF started helping pull HIS lunches together because he doesn't know what I have – its the same thing!! I think I'm pretty good and I like to cook, but when I'm the only one doing it – it becomes a chore and is not really that much fun.
For what its worth, I think men who don't really cook aren't going to read this article (or comment) in the first place. Since I hardly know any men who cook on a regular basis, I'm willing to bet that's why the majority of the comments are those men who like to (and CAN) cook.
Rachel, I think it varies greatly by region and income as well. There tends to be a big difference between city and rural or surburban. I have to agree that the kind of men that don't cook, probably don't read CNN as much as those who do.
Where do you live that you hardly know any men that cook? In the numerous cities (large cities) I've lived in the reverse seems true.
On a personal note, frankly I'd be ashamed to have my girlfriend packing my lunch. I'm a grown man! That's pathetic.
I'm in upstate NY in the middle of farm country – definitely RURAL but grew up in the suburbs. It seems to be such a common theme in this area that I feel like an oddball for not wanting to have all the responsibility for making sure another adult is fed. I'd love to be in a larger city, where the least I could do is get delivery every once in a while (seriously – I can't even get pizza delivered haha) but my job is too good to give up at the moment.
I do find it very interesting all the men on here who can, like to, and do cook for their spouses... perhaps I should start being a really terrible cook in hopes his stomach will guide him towards a cookbook!
I can tell by looking in your grocery basket whether or not you can cook, and if you cook for others. Based on this I can tell you that few men can cook, and almost none cook for others on a full-time basis. Jumping in and messing up the kitchen every once a month, as some men will do, isn't cooking. It's playing. On the other hand, based on what I see in the grocery basket, men and women alike will eat most anything and feed it to their kids too. Instant, frozen, prepared, processed, multiple unpronounceable chemicals - we can't get enough. Cooking for people like this is a waste of effort.
I agree!! I never have a problem with it being too crowded in the produce section, but get in someone's way near the chip or cookie aisle and you're bound to get run over. I try to buy most of our food with natural ingredients and incorporate tons of fruit and veggies into our food. We started with cutting out HFCS, and hopefully aspartame will be next. I had been dieting but since just starting to eat healthier without eating "diet" foods like low-cal, low-fat options which contain all sorts of junk, I think I've lost even more weight. I still think my dogs eat better than we do though – if I can't pronounce something in a bag of treats, the package stays in the store!
Agreed. I marvel at the garbage I see in some shopping carts of mothers/fathers with kid in tow. I can understand treating your body to crap food, but how is feeing your kids processed cheese and soda setting them up for a lifetime of malnutrition and issues worse than handing them a pack of cigarettes? Kind of off topic though.
I'm not sure how off-topic it is, Brian. Cooking well is a matter of caring for those we cook for. Slopping the plate with convenience cr@p is not cooking.
When we were both working, I did 75% of the cooking. Since he lost his job, he's been doing 90% of the cooking.
He does a great job, but I miss it a little. I love having the extra time when I get home, though.
I am a woman and I like to cook (and I like to think I'm pretty good at it, too). Apparently I can be a little....how to phrase this... unintentionally controlling in the kitchen. But my husband likes it when I cook, I like cooking, and every once in a while he can make a pretty dang good meal too (he makes a phenomenal schnitzel).
My husband cooked more than I did for many years, but then my skills surpassed his once I got serious about becoming a decent cook. He's still great at throwing things together seemingly at random, and willing to do so, but I do the cooking 75% of the time or more. He helps with the grocery shopping, meal planning, and follows directions well when I need his help. I'm very fortunate to have such a kitchen partner.
My husdand and I are both great cooks & LOVE cooking. We like it the most when we get to cook together, but he gets home a couple hours before I do during the week. So I pick up the kids & we get to come home to him at the stove. I feel blessed to have found that in a man because my dad – who was a chef – raised me by himself. I never witnessed the barefoot housewife routine, so it would have been tough to step into a role like that. I do most of the cleaning, but he's the master chef. But we do follow some stereo types – he's the only one who can touch the grill & I prefer to keep control of any baking :O)
My husband can cook really quite well, however I am the one who does all the cooking in our home. I enjoy trying new recipes out on the family and love the fact that I know exactly what I'm feeding my family. I'm also teaching my son and daughter both to cook simply because I think it's a valuable skill to have. Grilling on the other hand is my husband's territory, he loves it.
I cook sometimes. He cooks occasionally. I prefer to cook, not because I want to or I'm a better cook. Most of his meals are unhealthy. I'm trying to prepare salads more often, but it's really hard to have the energy to prepare a meal when I come home from work, I'm exhausted, and the kitchen is disgusting from my inconsiderate roommates and their guests.
I essentially do all of the cooking. My wife definitely has her specialties, but apart from those few items, I cook dinner for us and our little one when eating at home. I really enjoy the entire process, from recipe construction, shopping, chopping, cooking and eating. I could leave the dishes, but it's part of it. Thankfully, my wife carries equal weight in this task.
I have cooked almost exclusively all of the family meals since we have been married (12 years). Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinners with multiple sides as well. It also helps that I worked in a kitchen for about 8 years prior to getting married. I love to cook, it is an art form. Transforming basics into a flavorful orchestration. You can cook three different meals with the same 5 ingredients. No one taught me to cook, but I was blessed with the fact that the Chefs liked my artistic side and applied it to the culinary aspects of my job. My wife can cook some things better than I can, but those are my nights off from the kitchen. But Breakfast is also a great meal on the weekends at home.
I love my wife but she can't cook at all. She doesn't understand that you have to pay attention while cooking. But she can make great sandwiches.
Making a good sandwich is a totally different skill set, as far as I'm concerned :) I can cook pretty well, but I can't make a decent sandwich to save my life!
I can't make sandwiches either. I don't know what she does but they are awesome.
At age 42, I got tired of my wife's cooking but knew enough to not complain about it.
So, I learned how to cook.
Ten years later I cook every meal, do the planning and shopping and I do the dishes and keep the kitchen clean.
The kitchen is the very model of efficiency as well.
She runs the books and everything associated with it for my business and our personal finances.
For my 50th b-day she surprised me with a kitchen remodel including a brand new Wolf range.
OOooooh, baby! Whooo!!
My dad could cook two things: PB&J and waffles. No kidding.
Also, seriously, could, the author, use, more commas? No, no, no, no.
I enjoy cooking and usually do so while my wife keeps the tots busy before dinner. Besides liking the process, I have a cold beer in hand while cooking. Always. I find it relaxing after work...beer plus cooking.
When I was single, I taught myself how to cook simply because I enjoyed exploring new flavors and understanding how to create meals. Now that I am living with my boyfriend, I still do most of the cooking because I genuinely enjoy it – even after a day at work, it relaxes me to put together a flavorful meal.
On another note, my boyfriend also enjoys cooking, but he is more of the weekend chili or pot roast cooker so that I can have a few days off. It works for us because he likes to try out new things (as mentioned above – likes a challenge), which often are great.
I am not sure about girls these days not being able to cook – I get most of my recipes from my girlfriends rather than my mom or family. In fact they are often cooking for guys who can't cook – I'd much rather have it a team effort, which looks like lots of guys are willing to do. :)
I feel bad asking my wife to cook all the time. (I say "ask" because she won't take it upon herself to start cooking.) But I make double what she makes. Why should I be both the hunter and the gatherer? I would rather that she stays home and becomes a complete housewife. I'll cook on weekends!
At one point I realized I was being held hostage by my own ideas about traditional male-female relationships. In order to lower my own expectations I taught myself to cook. That was 30 years ago. I'm a better cook than any woman I ever met, mom included. Poor put-upon woman, stay out of my kitchen.
In bragging that you can't cook, as I have seen many women of my generation do, you only show your own ignorance.
well said!
I do the grocery shopping, and nearly all the cooking. My wife can cook as well, but we both work, and my schedule allows more free time in the afternoons to shop and get dinner ready.
She does the cleaning and laundry, so it's an equitable division.
There's plenty of tasks needed to keep a home with kids running, so cooperation is essential.
There is a strong correlation between women entering the work force, their loss of cooking skills and the increase in child obesity. More and more often as women stopped cooking, families came to rely on fast foods to feed their kids. While I am for equality and think it's great that men are picking up the slack and I have to admit that I am disappointed that women so readily put their careers ahead of their children's health. I always thought that nurturing was a strong impulse in women, but I guess I was wrong. So kudos to the men for picking up the ball that women dropped. I think men don't get much credit for anything these days and women are overhyped.
You're on the trail of something Lilly! I'm not sure you've got all the pieces, but you're definitely on the scent!
Perfect example of a non-scientific poll. These results are unlikely to reflect the general population at all. What they are getting is a cross-section of people (mostly guys, apparently) who read this article.
does she really think "gastrosexuals" will catch on? yuck.
My wife and I share the cooking responsibilities. Because we have three busy kids, often times dinner is a "free for all", so the kids get to cook whatever they want, which usually means heating up a "freezer meal".
My husband cooks dinner most nights. I can cook reasonably well, but I see it as a necessary chore, while he really enjoys cooking. Plus, I work full-time, and he works part-time- as a result, he does more around the house than I do. If our work situations were reversed, I'd do more of the housework. Neither of us regards any household task as gender specific.
Married 22 years. I do all of the shopping and cooking. My lovely wife does all of the cleaning up after dinner. the division of labor works well. I have a series of healthy and easy receipies. We save a lot of money that we can spend on the weekend eating home during the week.
"Gastrosexual"? Really? CNN is getting desperate...
its chic today for men to change gender roles with women especially in california and the east coast. i think its sissy for men to sow and act like women, men should be like men, like the show man men
where have all the cowboys gone:( agreed!
You want a cowboy, then you have to act like a woman. Can't have your cake and eat it.
Anyone notice how a lot of the celebrity chefs etc are male and are covered with tattoos and look like motorcycle gang members?? is this due to the historical taboo of men not cooking and if they do they're feminine? seems alot of male chefs go out of their way to be seen as masculine huh?
A lot of big name and celebritiy chefs have always been male. Much like other industries women have had a hard time making it to the top.
Unlike a lot of industries though, I don't see this changing not because it is still difficult for women to make it, but more toward a decline of interest and a rise of interest by men. I'm sure there are some stats to back this up, but more of a personal theory, so take it as you will.
I thoroughly enjoy cooking, bbq'ing. grilling, smoking....all of it. My mom taught my brothers and I how to cook, clean, etc., because she said by the time we got married, women won't be doing all that stuff anymore. Haven't gotten married yet- but it seems like she was right.
Wow, have to love some of the attitudes I'm seeing here... basically if you listen to some of the guys in here, women today are lazy nags who just want to sit on their butts and have everything handed to them while the poor men slave away 20 hours per day. Personally, me and my boyfriend divide up all the household duties based on what we don't mind doing. I cook, vacuum, and dust, and he cleans the bathroom, washes dishes, and does the laundry.
It may not be *your* reality, but it is *a* reality for a number of us. The entire world is not limited to just your experience, my dear.
And I'm sure there are women who are in your position, who work full time, have kids, and their husband doesn't do anything. Your attitude is absolutely horrible and I feel sorry for any sons you have who are inheriting your misogyny.
Where are you pulling in misogyny from?! Some of my very best friends are women and I'm not saying anything about the other direction being any less flawed. *My* attitude is flawed?! You're beyond out of line.
AGeek – I'm taking misogyny from your broad statement that there are a lot of women today (note you said WOMEN, not people) who are lazy and don't want to work around the house. If you'd said that there are a lot of people today who don't do anything and expect their partner to pick up the slack, that wouldn't be sexist, but as it stands you are the one who is out of line.
Wow. You're a piece of work. My statements were within the gender context of this article, not generalizations. Last reply. I don't have time for morons like yourself – regardless of their gender.
I don't have a partner in a romantic sense, but I do have a roommate, a friend of mine who is as cash-strapped as I am. I must admit, I do the majority of the cooking. I find it slightly frustrating at times, but I do like to cook. She's far busier than I am, and often away from the house for much longer periods, but when she is around for longer periods of time, she does cook. Her cooking is very good, we come from different cultures, so we both cook different things really well.
Not having the gender stereotypes to deal with here, I think things work best if responsibilities are shared more or less equally, but they don't have to be the same responsibilities. She may not cook all that much, but she'll clean a little more to make up for it. The same can be said for a marriage/partnership. Share the chores, but you don't have to do everything equally. If one person likes to do one thing and the other another, split it up that way.
one caveat: I think everyone should be able to cook at least a few meals from scratch on their own. There's no excuse for the old "starve if my wife leaves town" mentality. It doesn't have to be fancy, but if you can't make yourself a basic meal, you need to buck up and learn. You shouldn't rely on someone else to baby you your whole life.
In Communist Russia, food cooks you
I'm a woman and I cook. I guess I'm a part of the minority here... Oh well, it happens!
My dad was the main cook in my family, even though my mom CAN cook, she just worked different hours. My dad did all the "wife" stuff, cooking, sewing, coupon clipping etc. So when I got married, I expected my (now ex) husband to do that stuff and and he expected me to do all that stuff. Not a lot got accomplished our first year of marriage.
I've been doing all of the cooking for about 8 years now. Before that, about half. I'm a single father of 3. My ex went off into crime and drugs about 8 years back. As soon as I got home from work, she left to go party....leaving me to do everything else.
After a while, you get good at it. Everyone loves to eat here as I've become very comfortable in the kitchen and now rarely use recipes.
Divorced 6 years now and loving it. It's a busy life but I'm having some of the best days of my life.
Great article...no matter what the domestic situation, men are more comfortable - and capable - in the kitchen than ever before! I am one of them, and have buuilt a career from it. Check out http://www.richhollenberg.blogspot.com to find out what "RICH COOKS!" ....
Depending on who is home first, my husband and I share the cooking. I'm very blessed and fortunate my husband loves to cook. He is an amazing cook always experimenting with different ingredients. I am also thankful he is not picky when it comes to trying new things! :)
I have been married for 12-yrs and have cooked the whole time (breakfast, lunch, & dinner). I enjoy it and the food tastes better. It is a good time to relax and have a beer or cocktail. My wife & daughter usually sit at the bar in our kitchen and we talk about our day or whatever. Good time. My wife does cleans up... and man, do I make a mess!! Good food comes with a price.
I do most of the cooking. The wife enjoys doing the holiday meals however. She only recently "allowed" me to make the deviled eggs...
I am reading what everyone is posting and the men who are having a fit cause they are doing the cooking and their woman are supposedly just "sitting on their back side" or "primadonnas" I have to really ask..have you not talked to your wife about how unhappy you are that you are supposedly doing all the work. Communication is a huge key. Also just like Jessica said...was your wife like this prior to marrying her and if so did you really think it was going to change. I personally share the duties with my husband and neither one of us understand why it matters what sex is doing the cooking or the cleaning. If one enjoys the task (and if that is true than they don't see it as a task) more than the other then what is the big deal? As long as the one cooking or cleaning doesn't mind who cares?!
Preach it! If you are feeling resentful that your partner (no matter what gender) isn't picking up the slack, SPEAK UP.
Lorri: see my reply to Jessica. I have no expectation of being catered to – it's not how I was raised. I attempt to communicate about it, but it largely falls on deaf ears. I don't care if I'm cooking, cleaning, or whatever. In fact, getting the kids ready in the morning is one of my favorite things to do! Enjoying a task doesn't make it less of a task. I love what I do for a living, but that doesn't make me any less tired at the end of the day. What I'm saying is that there seems to be a segment of women in that age range (certainly not *all* women) that are growing an entitlement attitude. It's noticed by those in my age group and those older than me. This isn't some myopic observation or very limited subset.
Then if you're that unhappy and she's that unresponsive, why stay in the marriage? Complaining about how all women these days are lazy nagging shrews is completely counterproductive
Andrea, leaving someone because they are less willing to help with household chores is pretty drastic. I have to agree with AGeek that I do get a feeling of entitlement from a lot of young prof women (worse in beautiful ones, but that's old news).
I think it goes along with a lot of the articles I've been reading lately about how guys are no longer necessary (many posted by CNN).
Andrea: easy to say, not easy to do. ..and this isn't some unique situation. The list of people I'm hearing this from is longer than both my arms. Again, I'm not saying that it's all ..or even most, but it's far more common than it should be. (Oh, and I clearly stated in my post that it wasn't "all"). If *one* woman reads it, does a little introspection and realizes she's being unreasonable, and some relationship becomes better for it, then it's all worth it. As for mine – I'll keep going. If she straightens out, great. If not, once our youngest turns 18, I'll pull the ripcord.
Brian, AGeek is communicating that his wife is unwilling to help him out with anything in their lives and also does not work. When he confronts her, she doesn't pick up the slack. What kind of loving relationship is that? And if they aren't willing to put in the effort to please each other (which, if AGeek is to be believed, it seems she's not), then what's the point?
Andrea, you're making some over-generalizations and assumptions that I clearly have not stated in any of my posts – and then attempting to restate them as fact. Stop.
@Brian Entitlement? I really hope you are talking about a specific person that you know. What many people are casually touting as a new generation of lazy women, are actually women who are doing the same or more work outside the home as their husband, then expected to come home and do as much work inside the home as if they didn't have a full-time job. It's not entitlement to expect equal help in running the home if you are doing equal work in providing for the family. It's certainly not laziness.
If you know specific examples of wives never doing anything at all and leaving it up to their husbands, that's fine. They exist. But don't stereotype a whole group of people based on that crap, and certainly don't then denigrade them.
The "entitlement" feeling is probably more toward my generation than women specifically. And don't confuse lazy with entitled. People may not be lazy, but may expect a lot for the work they do.
That said, don't expect a guy to bend to your every expectation because you are a 'working' woman. It still has to be a team effort to be a successful relationship, partnership, or even cohabitation.
Also, I can only speak for the 25 to 35 year old piece of the population. Those I interact with, whom mostly are not married.
I completely agree that it should be an equal partnership. As one of the 20-30 year set myself, I suppose I can't add much to your insight. However, I really have a hard time grasping the traditional "women should shut up and stay in the kitchen" mentality. Especially as some women actually out-work (in hours and effort, not pay) their husbands. It seems like most of the posters here seem to think that no matter what she's responsible for outside the home, she's lazy or ungrateful if she doesn't have food on the table every night for her husband and kids. That attitude grates on me.
Of course, if either partner is just not carrying their weight no matter what, there's a problem. I just think generalizing it to professional women is a bad idea. That's the same as making a generalization that all men do when they get home is grab a beer and sit on the couch the rest of the night. It may be true individually, but I think general attitudes like the ones expressed here do a gross disservice to whole groups of people.
Actually I should point out that a recent study posted on CNN (who knows the accuracy) shows that women 24-32 out earn men. Typically women are stronger early in their career with men catching up later on (babies).
Can't disagree that there needs to be balance, but there are quite a few women out there giving up the standard mother role for their career, which means someone has to pick up that end. I think this is just saying that more often men are filling that void.
Look. It's pretty simple. It is a FACT that things have changed since the old days. Communication and sharing the load is the right thing. However there is a lot of one side or the other.
There are plenty of marriages wherein the man is always gone, making the money, enjoying the high life on the road (amazingly there are many who'd rather not be home). There are also plenty like mine was. I was home every night. Anytime I was home, I had the kids. Every night, every weekend. I did ALL of the laundry, cooking, cleaning, feeding the babies (including up at night and still going to work the next morning) while she partied (all day, every day...NEVER worked) and blew through $80,000/year having fun and (as it turns out) prostituting herself. Imagine having $80,000/year to spend....on whatever you wanted to do (this is just the part she spent....not including bills...which were all paid).
When I got tired of it and called her on her behavior, she didn't like it....thus the divorce. Now I still do all of the laundry, cooking, cleaning and rear the kids...but I don't have anyone arguing about how it's going to be done.
I have many single Dad friends who are in the exact same boat as I am. It's a pretty common story. I have a friend that says "a woman with that much time and money on her hands is trouble". Obviously that's not a universal rule but it makes at least SOME sense.
I do 95% of the cooking in our home. The only time I don't is when I come home and simply don't feel like it.
I'm fortunate in that my partner can put together incredible meals. It really is a simple matter of it being something that I enjoy doing and she doesn't. So, when she does, more often than not it's something that is pretty darn good!
This article once again shows the decline of women and exposes all their worthlessness. Since having the finer things in life generally appeal more to them, they have decided that they need to work 50 hours a week like the man to increase the family spending budget. But, since women have no business in business, they cant take the pressure of a day once home. They have to further burden their lives by bitching about helping the kids with their home work, checking work emails, bathing the kids and then send them to bed. While men do this more and more to decrease the bitching they have to hear from their spouse. Men are the tough ones mentally. Its better for us to take it on with confidence and a sense of accomplishment than to hear the woman bellyache her way into faking a headache at the end of the night.
This comment shows the declining mental abilities of an ignorant chauvinist. Successful families have a husband and wife who show genuine love and respect for each other and work with each other on an equal level, not blind subservience to a domineering mate. Having the attitude that the wife stays in the home and the husband brings home the bacon works for some couples, but just isn't a realistic scenario for most. And women are every bit as strong as – stronger, often, than – men. It's only ignorance that allows this kind of attitude.
Don't worry there pal, I doubt you will have to worry about having any female companionship anytime soon.
Through college and the four or five years after, I have probably been in 5 or 6 serious relationships, where I can honestly count the times I've had any of my girlfriends cook for me on one hand. Now living in Chicago where most women out earn men in their 20s and early 30s it's even more drastic. I live with a girl that cooks buttered noodles if she's hungry (she's 25 mind you).
What I've come to realize is that women don't really care as much about food in a day to day capacity as men. Cereal for dinner, coffee for breakfast, they simply don't require much food, where as I with my 3k calorie diet crave variety.
This has been a problem easily solved since I've been developing my cooking skills since college and I can put together a delicious balanced meal from whatever I have in the cupboard (something baffling to my roommate who never learned food and spice parings). Women in there 20s and 30s now are raised by working women who may have been taught to cook but never passed along this knowledge to their daughters (the single working women of today). With this lack of cooking ability I more and more see a deficiency in diet as well, but that’s probably for another discussion.
My real point is that just because you make more money than young professional men now, does not mean you should give up on an attractive trait like kitchen prowess. I can honestly not think of anything better as a birthday present (mine is coming up, November) than a good home cooked meal. Simple, but unfortunately, not easy for most women in Chicago.
Nothing is sexier to a guy that likes to eat than a beautiful woman in the kitchen. That’s not being sexist, that’s just the truth.
My wife getshome after I do, so most nights I do the cooking. At the outside, I will prepare the meal and she will come home to just pop it on the stove. I am Scottish, and she is Asian, so we always have a good variety. I do a killer steak and she is great with pho. We keep an interesting pantry.
I used to cook, but since my husband refuses to clean anything, do laundry or yard work I figured if he's hungry he'll learn to cook. 14 years later and he's now a bit of a gormet. Doesn't cook every night but when he does its really good!
@ AGeek...you had to have known this before you married her and decided to have children. I really don't think you have the right to complain about this considering you married her.
Jessica, read Limey's post. It's wasn't like this before we got married. Not even close. It's slowly been evolving. She doesn't come from a primadonna background and wasn't pampered as a kid. She didn't have an entitlement attitude when we were dating or for the first couple years we were married. It's something I'm seeing and hearing more and more of from my friends as well.
We both prepare the meals in our home. I get more into the intricate side of cooking, and grilling, where my wife is the more traditional meat, and potatoes country farm cook.
I'm a male and love to cook, my father was a chef and made sure all of his boys could cook (4 boys), This past year I have started dating a chef, It's rare that I am in the kitchen anymore, she makes meals before she goes to work and leaves them in the fridge.
I as a male do ALL of the cooking. My wife cant cook worth a lick and when she trys she burns everything. I dont cook because i want to but because she cant and refuses to learn how. Oh and i work and she stays home with the kid
When my boyfriend and I moved in together, I often got the "what's for dinner?" question – the clear expectation being that I was going to make it for him. "I don't know!?!" and feigned indifference (despite being starving myself) was the best response. When I got home, I'd ask him the same question. He slowly got the hint. Fast forward 18 years and a couple kids later – he now does the shopping and the cooking, often with the kids- because he LIKES it (I clearly do not!). The bonus: the kids are interested in cooking too. Yes, it does mean I get clean-up duty, but that works for well for us.
brrrrrrr its getting cold in here, you're frigid....at least share responsibility...even if he says he doesn't mind i guarantee he'd appreciate if you offered to make a meal instead of coming home from work and laying on your fat backside
I do most of the cooking in the house, but it works to my benefit. I get to cook what I want, when I want, while having a beer at the stove. When the guys talk trash, I shut them up by reminding them that I don't mind cooking since my wife gets home saving lives as a doctor! Plus it doesn't hurt that she's cute.
I love you!!!! You are the best husband in the entire universe. I cannot do what I do as a doctor w/o my home cooked meals.
Unfortunately, I think the pendulum has swung too far the other way. If both work full-time, then I think cooking and cleaning should be a shared responsibility. The problem begins when couples are dating and men think it's romantic to cook for their girlfriend. It then carries over to their married life. I know many couples where the wife stays home and when the man gets home at six...nothing has even been started. The kids would go hungry if it wasn't for men taking in upon themselves to prepare the food. Because of this, dinner is much later, often 7-8 pm.....not great for children. Women need to get off their backsides and men need to grow a spine. Be a positive example to your children.
Preach it, brother Limey! Seeing this becoming more and more common. It certainly happens around our home and, between us girls, my wife is on thin ice. I'm sick of doing most of the work after putting in 9hrs at the office. 12 years – enough is enough.
My boyfriend does all of the cooking. He cooks very well.. I guess he figured out that I never cooked in my moms house because one time I was hungry so I got a frozen pizza out , and read the directions and the directions never said to take the cardboard off of the bottom of the pizza ( at least it did say take off plastic wrapper) so the whole kitchen was full of smoke.. He is a sweetie!
My girlfriend is a vegetarian and I basically hate vegetables, so she doesn't get to cook for me. But that's okay, since I'm fine eating delicious oatz or making chicken tacos or eating chicken and pasta. I don't need anything special.
My husband is a stay at home Dad with our 4 year old and does all the cooking. I work full time. I love it. He is such a good cook we hardly go out to eat because his food is better than most restaurants. I can cook but he is much more efficient and enjoys it. Definitely works for me!
My husband and I both love to cook. I being culinary trained and him working in commercial kitchens at some point in his life, we both have the ability to make a wonderful meal. When we first started dating we both use to argue about who was going to cook. It wasn't that either one of us didn't want to cook it was both of us wanted to cook. Now I let him cook most of the time. I decided why fight it. Except when it comes to pastries, that is all mine. =P
I cook for my family....while i'm cooking i drink a nice tall glass of beer with a ton of ice in it
Ice in your beer? that's insane
If I want more than something warm & thrown together, it's up to me to cook it. I love my wife, but what the hell is with the women in their 30's & 40's? Most of you act like utter primadonnas who can't be bothered to pitch in on the work around the house. Seriously. If I can put in 9hrs at the office, and then come home and toss together a decent meal (grilled, stir fry, whatever) in an hour or less, and do the wash, and get the kids ready for school every morning, then you can at least not act like you're being put out to clean up after dinner. I see this with myself and *many* of my friends. Ladies – get it together or get out.
My husband has been banned from cooking except in extreme emergencies or under close supervision. He is the only person I know that will use an entire tub of butter while cooking one meal! He got egg on the ceiling and has tried various odd substitutions when we're out of an ingredient we need (water and mayo do NOT make a good milk replacement). However, give the man a crock pot and magic happens. His pot roast is absolutely fantastic! His chili is pretty good too as long as you don't mind sweating your way through dinner.
@mp531 HAHA thanks for making me laugh at the office. Too funny!
Funny how some men here are complaining about how men are being feminized by cooking. If you don't like the sexes becoming a bit more equal, shut up and get back to your cave.
My husband does the cooking and cleaning. I was never taught to cook and I'm allergic to dust. However, when he's on his way home, I've got everything out for whatever meal he's decided he wants to make and do the dishes after, so I only think it's fair, and since I'm also the one that writes the household budget, does laundry, and has a really weird work schedule (ah, theatre, my love...), I think it evens out.
My dad cooks better than my mom, and why not? As long as an equal exchange takes place, who cares?
My wife also claims to be allergic to dust so she avoids housecleaning. She doesn't seem to be allergic to spending lots of time on Facebook, though.
We are pretty traditional. While we both work full time, I do most of the cooking however, he will cook occasionally and treats me to great steak dinners he makes for me.
We both like to cook, but for "everyday", it is a chore at times, but still a duty to family. Home cooked is just better for our family.
I do most if not all the cooking in my house. My wife was never really into cooking and, I know that if I want to eat a home cooked meal I am going to have to do it myself. I do enjoy it though and I know that she loves my cooking. I really like to impress the inlaws; that is always fun!!
it is amazing to me that men cooking still makes the news. i grew up in a house with 7 kids (6 boys) and both parents worked. if you wanted to eat-you had to cook. when i bring cookies to work, people always ask me if my wife made them-amazing. cooking is neither a masculine or a feminine thing on an inherent level-i grew up in an extremely masculine environment-kind of like a pioneer on the frontier-you couldn't wait around for someone else to do the work.
The greatest chefs in the world are all male. Cooking IS a masculine thing. : )
I completely agree! Why are we still talking about men cooking as if it's an unusual thing to see/hear about? And having to come up with some absurd name because cooking isn't seen as masculine enough that it can only be improved upon with an idiotic label like "gastrosexual?" My God, if a guy can cook, let him cook, but let's stop lowering the bar on what we consider worth talking about. What's next? Progressive men lift the toilet seat?
I was hoping I'd find a comment like this, since I was going to make it myself if I didn't. There doesn't have to be a stupid word for this, and especially one that is somewhat emasculating. It has nothing to do with sexuality or gender roles, it has to do with the fact that a man is just as capable as a woman of reading a recipe and cooking things, and the way that timing works out with jobs, sometimes guys cook.
My wife and I pretty much split things. Some nights she'll cook the main meal and I'll make a salad and/or side dish, and other times I'll have something in mind I want to cook. Sometimes I set the table, sometimes I clean the dishes.
Why is this news?
I have done all the cooking for my wife and family for the last 20 years. I had to learn when I moved to a foreign city for graduate school. I am better at it than she is, and like it more than she does. And I NEVER have to clean the bathroom.
I and my wife work full time, but I get off of work earlier, so I cook at least 4 days a week, breakfast and dinner.
The only things I can "cook" are pasta, french toast and scrambled eggs....sad, I know! My boyfriend is a serious foodie and amazing cook, so he does all the cooking in our household. The trade off is that I do all the cleaning. There are some days it gets annoying with a 4 bedroom house, but bottom line is I prefer to clean my way because I know it's done thoroughly and properly. And after I am done, my boyfriend always has an imaginative, yummy meal to reward me with!
Side note: although most of my close friends cook to some degree, I would only say one or two of my ten closest female friends do the cooking in their relationship/household.
I think we are actually witnessing an active move by women/mothers on this issue-
My two brothers and I were explicitly taught by my mother to cook, and thus we all do the vast majority of the cooking in our households because we are far more skilled than our counterparts (plus we all enjoy it, brings back good memories of childhood.)
I honestly believe that mothers of the sexual revolution generation intentionally did not teach their daughters typical gender role skills, such as cooking, based on the ideology of the time that women should essentially take on the societal roles of men.
This is simply one result of that move- both intentional and practical, since someone has to do the cooking...
I do most of the cooking, because I love it. But my husband is great about cleaning up the kitchen and doing the dishes. He doesn't cook much, but the things he cooks are fantastic. We have an arrangement that works for us and our family. My brother-in-law is a great cook, and so is my Dad. I think growing up I just learned that cooking was fun and everyone should know how to cook at least a little.
Normal progression of a society where the men are being feminized. This new man also, shaves his chest and arms, waxes his eyebrows and gets manicures. So sad to see it happen but the liberal culture will eventually ruin the male race.
Today's women consider going through the drive-thru as "cooking"
Way to generalize. I am a young woman and none of my female friends would consider the drive-through a MEAL, let alone cooking.
I'm a 24-year-old single woman living alone. Most nights I cook, but I'd be more inventive if it weren't such a pain in the rear to cook for one person! Sometimes it's easiest to just make an omelet or a salad for supper rather than make a big pot of stew that I'm then stuck eating for days on end.
There are a couple of great books out there about small batch cooking – might be easier to do that and save one portion for lunch the following day?
I used to have that problem, too. It becomes easier to judge how much you need to make for just one meal, though. For a stew, instead of using three or four potatoes, just use one, half a carrot, a small piece of steak or chicken, and make it stovetop (or buy one of those small serving crockpots). It takes some finesse, especially if you're used to cooking for a whole family, but it eventually becomes easy to tell exactly how many ingredients you need to use. The only thing is when you switch back to cooking for a group, it's hard not to overestimate how much you need.
Well... theres dinner and then there is a full on meal.... Most nights, we just do something simple, but when it is a full meat and three, I cook it. Type-A personality – I don't like it the same as if I did it.
Although, sometimes it is horrible when I try a new recipe.
I'm a husband and I do most pf the cooking, mostly becuase I love to cook. My wife doesnt mind cooking, but we would agree that it's more of a passion of mine. I'm sure she doesnt mind it though ;)
Must be a generational thing... Most women I know where never taught how to cook and frankly aren’t very good at it and have no kitchen imagination.
i'm a single woman and i cook my own meals 5 or 6 nights a week. depending on how ambitious i'm feeling, it can be anything from pasta with jarred marinara to risotto with chicken, leeks, and mushrooms.
I do all the cooking in our house hold. The only night I don't cook is Thursday's, it's our pizza night. The reason for that has more to do with the schedule of the kids than anything else. I love cooking, I love most cooking shows as well. I like them so much it drives my wife crazy.
The truth is, guys get a cooking bug in them once in a while.
It's not really a nurturing maternal thing but rather the same part of their brain that makes them want to figure out how to put things together strangely enough.
I cook 5-6 nights a week and also make breakfast and lunch on weekends. My wife and I both work and I handle much of the cleaning as well. I take pride in my home, in my ability to create a clean, comfortable atmosphere and to satisfy my family with healthy delicious meals every day. We have a 2 yr old and a 2 week old at home. I also enjoy entertaining for friends and family. I'm basically self taught in the kitchen, from books, cooking shows, magazines. It's been a hobby for me and something I enjoy. The fact that others appreciate being fed by me and express their gratitude is reward enough.
I am self employed and work from home, so it makes sense for me to get our boys up, make breakfast, get them on their way. I do all the shopping so I know what I have to cook with, and I also make dinner. Part of this is that my wife leaves early for work, and does not get home till 6 or 7. I enjoy it and am actually a better cook then my wife. For her food is mostly fuel.
I'm close to 50 years old and have always been more interested and involved in cooking than the women I've dated and (once) married. I think a lot of women who are now 35-50 are perhaps in reaction against their mother's generation, which understood cooking as family grunge work.
Not too much of a surprise. The majority of women I know and have dated can't cook. Most of my male friends do most to all of the cooking at home and take great pride in being versatile by cooking with stove top, oven, bar-b-que, and smoking foods.
My girlfriend have a deal that works for both of us...I do the cooking and she does the cleaning up afterwords. It works for her because she hates cooking and while I might not be Gordon Ramsey, I don't mind it. It works for me because after a meal I just want to sit down and relax, not wash dishes and clean up the kitchen.
It's sad that the media is so used to portraying men as bumbling idiots with one-track minds that they are actually surprised to find we're capable individuals (and always have been).
for 30 years I've cooked most meals in the household. When the kids were growing up, I would spend Sunday morning playing soccer with my team, come home, clean up, and start cooking. I would then cook all the meals for the week and place them in the refrigerator. It was great, three hours in the kitchen, a few beers and a football game on TV I could keep glancing at. Cooking is very creative, it's a great outlet, and the family really appreciates it. It's a win-win. Now I'm older, I don't play soccer, but do exercise, and still do all the cooking. Awesome!
you sound like my boyfriend. There is always a football game on when he is cooking it seems! Even if its not on Sunday, its a game he recorded from another day. He has a whole routine when he cooks.
I'm a guy, and I love to cook!
I enjoy cooking but I only make dinner on the nights my boyfriend works late. Otherwise he is the main chef in the house and is very good at it; he loves to cook. If he is the one cooking I am usually there helping him, good quality time for both of us too since we both work so much.
I agree with you Heather. I love to cook but being that I work full time I don’t have the time to cook and my wife loathes the kitchen. When I get home from work we cook the meals together and spend time telling each other about our day or discussing things, I get the help I need to cook a good meal for the family and she doesn’t have to spend as much time in the kitchen doing something she hates.
I should point out that all my friends wifeys that don't cook have careers. And the wifeys are also very picky eaters.
One other thing...men have been cooking for years...they were hardly ever any woman with cooking shows on tv...mostly all the shows were guys cooking....also head chefs are mostly men.
@nyer
Male head chefs also typically fit into two categories...homosexual or alcoholic...both for some :P
what a lame article. Blah blah blah.. I have been doing all the cooking in the household for years, shopping too. And, if you think that Bobby and Mario are doing their own cooking on their respective shows, think again. What do you think all those sous chefs and interns are for.
That is for show prep so it can be done in the time allotted. I suspect the male chefs can indeed cook, just not all of it all at once. Ever watch Iron Chef? Allez cuisine!
If something is cooked, I'll be doing it – my husband only serves me dinner if it is take-out. I don't mind, I enjoy cooking. Problem is I'm married to a man that doesn't understand that makes the dishes his job! Tip the cook, or do the dishes!
Totally agree. The cook should never have to do the dishes. That's actually part of the reason I learned to cook in the 1st place! lol
I've been married for 19 years and have cooked 90% of the time. My wife has been a stay home for the past 9 years and she still does not cook. My wife's idea of a cooked meal is a purchased rotisserie chicken, mac and cheese and a salad! Whenever I travel for business, my children are eager to know when I get back because that is when they know they will be getting home cooked meals. The first dinner my wife made me was a chicken apricot dish......the chicken was cooked on the outside but frozen on the inside!!! I guess she was never told to thaw the chicken first. Maybe she did this on purpose so that she wouldn't have to cook again?!
I also wonder if she did it on purpose!
Sounds like "Married with children"
LOL!!!! I never thought of it that way before! I guess she is allot like Peg!
My wife hates to cook and will not cook, so I have become a very good cook....using my great-grandmother's meals as inspiration
This article needs to edited very badly...the journalist who wrote this has no editing skills whatsoever...
My wife is an editor and has in turn made me notice when an article needs to be edited. This article needs to be edited badly! Come on CNN, I expect more than this.
I completely agree. It is as if she did not even read it once through before posting it to CNN. Basic grammar mistakes on a CNN published article just makes her and the whole organization look bad.
I stopped reading the article because I had to keep pausing to figure out what the sentence was trying to say. Pretty embarrassing now a days, heard of a grammer check on your word processor. No excuse!
my wife is horrible at editing. i do all the editing at home, like 6-7 nights a week. and the worst part is, when i edit something, she nit picks at the results.
That's the right editing ezzie!! lol
I know one, maybe two, females that actually can cook. All of my guy friends are phenomenal cooks. I blame this on my generation, however.
My girlfriend doesn't like onions, peppers, anything spicy, fish, rice, vegetables...I could more quickly list the things she does like. I prefer to do the cooking because I have an allergy to gluten and I actually like the taste of basically everything that is edible. I just don't tell her what I put in what I make and she eats things she supposedly hates :P
U made my day !
My Wife loves to cook and is good at it. I like to cook too, but I'm not nearly as good, nor do I enjoy it as much as she does, so she does all the cooking.
you should consider yourself a one lucky guy!
I'm with you, Joe. I'm the primary cooker, but my husband can hold his own in the kitchen when required. We have a standing arrangement that he is responsible for meals one night of the week (whether cooking or ordering something), and on the nights he cooks - which is most of them - he has yet to fail me. I do enjoy cooking and planning meals myself, and he's quite content to let me run with it.
This shouldn't be a surprise. Most women I know don't know how to cook, which sucks because I do. Much like "favors", it's not all that fun to be the only giver in a relationship. Take a cooking class, ladies. Men don't expect you in the kitchen anymore but it'd sure be nice if you visited it once in a while.
Same here, dude. Most women I know couldn't cook to save their lives, same thing with my wife. I took the time to learn how to cook to avoid eating the same thing every night, plus in the hope of gaining points with the ladies. I've gained so many points, that I've become the official cook of the house. Sigh.
Oh, and most of the best chefs in the world are men (referring to the article now). They ALWAYS have been. The fact that men are on TV cooking shouldn't really be a surprise to anyone.
My woman can't cook. That's just not right. Time for a new one. The new one better know her role or she will be out the door too.
jeeze you suck! I'm surprized you could ever get a girfriend much less a wife.
DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!
sounds like my situation too. Totally agree with ya.
All the guys I work with cook all the meals exclusively. The wifeys don't cook, can't cook and can't stand cooking.
I'm the primary earner in my household by approx 3-1. She's a stay at home mom w/ a little home based business and she can't find time to cook. She's Irish and couldn't cook much more than a good meatloaf and mashed potatoes anyway. If I want to eat well, I have to do it myslef. The kids even prefer my cooking. My mother taught me to cook, sew, do laundry, and clean. She always told me, "When you get married, it'll be to a woman you WANT, not one you NEED. Made a lot of sense. My wife is pretty useless in the kitchen, but she sure is cute....
I have been cooking for the family for about a year now.. my wife went back to work when I was laid off.. the problem was I didn't know what the heck i was doing in the kitchen.. then my wife got me this hilarious beginner's cookbook. It was totally politically incorrect, so I can't tell you the name of it here, but if you google "whipped and beaten culinary works" you can find it.. but seriously.. if you can't take a good joke or get offended easily.. skip this one!
Much the same in my household, Patrick. Except that my wife is Latina and her visits to the kitchen have left her...well...not pretty.
I'm a woman in my 30's.I work full time plus cook a good meal 6 nights a week.I'm not talking about macaroni and cheese.I cook ribs,lasagna,steak,potatoes etc. and even make home-made ice-cream sometimes.My husband is a full time student but he has a lot more time then I do,and yet he has never cooked me even 1 meal.He takes it for granted and I'm lucky if he carries his plate to the sink after he's done eating.....And no he doesn't do dishes either...What can I do to make him appreciate what I do?If I happen to not add the perfect amount of salt he won't eat it either.Sooooo I wish those women who have men to cook for them only knew how lucky they are.......
@Rachel – I'm not being mean, but you are letting your husband take advantage of you with the cooking. If you truly don't like the cooking arrangements you need to talk with him and fix it. Good luck.
rachel, you need to stop making dinner for him. tell him to go to mcdonalds. and while he's out, hit yourself in the head with a pan and call the cops telling them your husband just hit you with a pan because you didn't have dinner ready.
and yes, i wish my wife would appreciate how much i cook (every night). but i do like it. it's better than refereeing our twin 2 year olds.
Tell him to join you next time because he might like it. Although my wife stays at home with my kids and I leave about 7am and get home at about 7pm, I cook for us every night, its fun and we get to talk while she finally can put her feet up and relax. Work can be hard, but being at home all day is harder.
What do you have to do to make him appreciate your cooking and the time/effort you put into it for him? That's easy: stop cooking for him.
I can relate, once we get the kids to bed, I go down and cook the meals every night. She is an awful cook so it's fine, but at least get off your butt and take the dishes to the dishwasher and clean up the pans. No, she sits on the couch til she goes to bed. Ive just stopped cleaning the dishes, I leave em in the sink or on the stove. She gets the message and takes care of it the next day. But it is frustrating that they come to expect it every night. I get offended if I sit down after putting the kids to bed and she'll say what are doing, what's for dinner, like Im the maid. Yes massa, I say, and hope too it. Thank god she makes a good living, cause everything else about her sucks.
You perhaps can beat him over the head with the frying pan!!! My Fiance can make chorizon and eggs and biscuits out of a pilsbury can and that's it!!!! When it comes to cooking I'm pretty insanely good and have been told by many colleagues to quit what I'm doing and follow a culinary path. Sushi, beef wellington, cordon bleu, chocolate truffles, or whatever it doesn't matter.
What can I say about her that makes me cook? She's extremely beautiful and way out of my league! I think you should make him do it one night a week he might figure out he's good at something other than taking you for granted ;)!!
Sounds to me he needs a good swift kick in the rump. Also sounds like he wants a mommy instead of a wife.
He's not a husband if he's not sharing the duties. Signed; a husband.
I agree. I'm gone from home 11 hours each day; the wife works only part-time occasionally. When I arrive home, I find nothing prepared for dinner. She claims she gave up on cooking because our kids are finicky. She just got lazy. I am the ook 7 nights per week. Rarely, the wife makes a salad. What gives with this trend? Women watch Foodnetwork, don't they? That's where I get a lot of new recipes, many of which are popular with my kids. So, why have the wives abandoned the time honored tradition of great home-cooking by Mom?
It is a generational shift. Among nearly all my friends my age (42) and younger, the man does as much or more of the cooking than his wife. Women of our generation tended to flee the kitchen. Men who don't want to rely on take-out or prepackaged food simply learn to cook for themselves. And they learn how simple it is. Once they find out how much their wives and children like it, there's no stopping them. I blog about my time in the kitchen at http://www.stayatstovedad.com. I invite you to check it out, and if you're a man who cooks for his family, to drop me a line. I'd like to hear from you.