 September 2nd, 2010
06:00 PM ET
I like to think of myself as a pretty rational person. In the 14 years I've lived in New York City, I've never gotten in a shoving match on the subway, punched a cab hood, or shrieked aloud in a 20-minute Whole Foods checkout line. I patiently wait my turn at crowded bars, resist the urge to body-check tourists who stop dead in the middle of busy sidewalks to snap group pictures (really – please don't do that!), and say no...no...that's okay when the neighbors' double-wide stroller runs over my toes - again. So why do malfunctioning vending machines turn me into a total nutjob? If I had, I'd be in ample, if agitated company. There's something about the rejection, the denial, the non-acknowledgment by the very robots we built to do our bidding that causes otherwise normal people to fly off into a white-hot, occasionally lethal rage. For it is not enough for the metal monsters to steal our hard-earned cash and coins; sometimes they maim. Sometimes, they kill. Vending machines are responsible for approximately two deaths annually in the US, and countless injuries ranging from broken bones to wounded pride. They bear warning stickers promising, even illustratively diagramming the physical peril into which a scorned, machine-tilting customer might place his or her peckish self. Yet it is rarely the machine that ends up in traction or having to explain away embarrassing knuckle bruises incurred in pursuit of a single ounce of middling trail mix or a honey bun of dubious vintage. (Not that it's happened to me...yet.) Yet still we try. Is it the hunger? The addlepation brought on by rapidly dwindling blood sugar? The deep-down knowledge that this is just another step toward the robots' impassive, plastic-faced domination of the human race? Perhaps I just need to take a chill pill. They sell those in the vending machine, right? |
  Recent Posts
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! @KarenAndAndrew pair off aphrodisiac foods with their perfect wine. http://t.co/AkbIpJMW 11:54 pm UTC, February 10 2012
Goat thong: no. Wine: yes, please. @islewine on optimizing Valentine's Day joy, no matter with whom you spend it: http://t.co/A32IV67K 5:19 pm UTC, February 10 2012
These twists on the classic PB&J are nutty by nature! http://t.co/d0melajH (Blame @PeanutButterCo for what that picture does to you.) 10:33 pm UTC, February 9 2012
Would you be tickled or ticked if your Valentine took you to @wafflehouse? How 'bout @whitecastle? http://t.co/ByXyN9Iw 10:01 pm UTC, February 9 2012
If given the option, would you downsize meal sides? @kittenwithawhip dreams of super-sized Brussels sprout option: http://t.co/LJiwQzK9 6:57 pm UTC, February 9 2012
 |
 |
|
© 2010 Cable News Network. Turner Broadcasting System, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
| Advertise with us | About us | Contact us | Help | Advertising Practices
This is cool i love it. Thanks for sharing this site. I really appreciate of this. Keep posting it. And keep up the good work. I love viewing this site.
Elite Systems Services Vending
It is a big pleasure to visit your blog and to enjoy your wonderful articles here. I like that very much. I can feel that you paid much attention for those articles, as all of them make sense and are very useful. Thank you very much for sharing. I can be very good reader & listener. Appreciate your work!
While other businesses are shrinking, Fresh Healthy Vending is expanding and currently has career opportunities nationwide. Help us change the way America is eating by joining the team.
Just a couple of years ago, I watched in amazement, while a fellow drove into a country store/gas station for gas and a Coke from a then brand new vending machine, out in the sticks in Oregon, his old (Willy's military) jeep covered in mud and weeds. He bought his gas and went for a Coke that didn't appear when paid for, his remedy was to pull out the cable from his front mounted winch (mechanical PTO, not a wimpy electric one) and wrap it around the the security cage that was bolted to the concrete, the vending "offender" was also bolted down, he proceeded to make a choker around the subject machine and cage, then sat in his drivers seat and engaged the PTO and calmly watch "Nelliebelle" go to work at 4,000 rpm through the winch, pulling the cage and vending unit twenty feet to his front bumper then continue pulling the cable till the combination looked like an hour glass, nearly shearing it in to two separate pieces. He then calmly unhooked the cable and wound it up, putting it away, then walked back in the country store and came out with what looked like a 40 ouncer in a bag and calmly drive off down the road. .....Just a little country boy JUSTICE !!
Cut the cord off the backside of it. Consider it an act of stopping thieves.
I never use vending machines,but when they do take my money I run into it head first,like a billy goat
sometimes I do the Homer Simpson running dropkick
I always wondered why they put braille dots on the numbers. Wouldn't someone still have to be there to tell them what's loaded in that number?
i don't get angry. i accept that as a part of life. when this happens i simply smoke some crack, go to the firing range, then a little high speed driving in the ally and sidewalk near my house. i may build a fire in a lot next door and practice various rescue methods in the neighborhood. There is no reason to take out your frustrations on an innocent machine. enjoy life!
I love the Red Bull machine at my job but I hate when it runs out of sugar-free. Mr. RB Vendor if you're listening – we need more sugar-free red bull!!!
Put dog crap in the tray and the coin return. Do that anyway, though, as protest against evil Vending Machine Czars everywhere. You'll need to have a bag, though. To tote your dog crap.
No wonder why the vending machines at my college are broken; so many people seems to have shaken them a bit too hard –before me.
I love lamp....
I vandalize the machine. He stole my money, I'm going to cost him some of his.
Thomas,Is this a stolen computer?
oh yea , n sorry "Andy" i gave u that in return ...
It's o.k. Samantha,he has "puffed many a bag in the supermarket section".
why dont they make vending machines that give whole cakes !!! @%#&^%)$@# !!!!
i go into vending machines thru the change return door n get free cheezitz !!!
When I don't get my soda can from the vending machine, I remove the plug and cut it off. If it does not say out of drinks or empty, I feel nobody else should get ripped off by the machine. Fix it or leave it off. If you want to inconvenience the public then I'm going to inconvenience you. Take our money, then we just bought a plug.
Andy wants his $1.50 back after going to the doctor.
The Mr. Noodles is sold for 1.50 more...
I made friends with the vending machine stocker. I'd time my 1st break to when "Andy" would come in to refill the machines. He didn't own the machines but worked for the bakery that would supply fresh items. So I'd broker deals with him. Instead of paying $3 for a sandwich, he'd often cut me a deal for $1.50. He'd then open up the coffee machine and I got my daily coffee for nada. Thanks "Andy"!
The girl here isn't so nice... She charges $0.30 for a spoon and a 4 crackers for mini Mr. Noodles cups. Highway ROBBERY!
i love oreos from vendin machins ... *stuffin my face*
I used to go to a youth group thing at a Methodist church after schools on Thursdays, even though I wasn't religious, it was just to meet friends and use their huge facilities for dodgeball, basketball, etc. Well they had a super old vending machine that dispensed candy for very reasonable prices, however it was one that you pulled a lever depending what candy bar you wanted and it slid down a chute. This damn thing would get jammed by candy bars too big to fit down the chute and you would literally see 5-10 candy bars blocking the chute, one day I flipped out and being a bit skinny, fit my entire arm up the chute and grabbed every bar from the chute as well as some from the individual slots. Needless to say they removed the machine in a couple of weeks.
We have a particular soda machine in my office that has turned into a slot machine type game. Some times you will turn up bust, others you’ll hit the jackpot. Just yesterday a coworker and I decided to try our luck; while he walked away empty handed I proudly displayed my three Cherry Cokes. (yes I did share)
Mule kick it till it gives up the money. If no results are produced, mug the nearest hobo.
dear guys thanks for the good laughs today its better than watching tv. I loved the note on the machine saying this machine steals coins i wonder if that applies to abama. the oil stole our jobs and obama said there were jobs. now i prefer the machine to him at least you get change obama you try to shake up the machine and your left with nothing.
The food in vending machines is downright revolting. How many eons have those pulverized crackers been sitting there?
Actually a bigger pet peeve of mine is nurses trying to force-feed me vending machine food. Every time I wake up from oral surgery or have a dizzy moment in the doctor's office, a nurse insists on bringing me peanut butter crackers and a Coke. I'm 6 months pregnant – isn't junk food on the bad list?
Jesus is from a vending machine.
Mr Obama – we voted for hope and change, but there still no hope that we would ever get the change we expect, from those @#$%^&!! vending machines.
i want a vending machine that will dispense house wives !!! or hookers , whatever ...
"There it is beavis! Sour cream and salsa pork rinds!!!" "F-9"...
"F-9??? YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP!!!"
BUTT-HEAD! BUTT-HEAD! "are you forgetting someone..." "when you've forgotten your best friend, there's always..." "he just left me standing by the vending machine..."
I found a vending machine in Japan one time that had a sign on the top, "what a man needs most when he's away from his wife..." and seeing the hole on the front I looked both ways, stuck my wiener in, and put in the yen to make it start. After several minutes of screaming in pain it finally let go and I pulled out one swollen, red wiener to find it had sewn a button on the end.
i hate when you order an AA and then punch A, A not realizing after chips drop out when you ordered m'm's that there's a f'n AA button. I did not learn my AA, BB, CC's
Before that flap at the bottom it was hard time for vending machine owners. i'll have c-9. and every other item on the bottom row.
i want a vending machine that sells other vending machines. my god it'd be huge.
vending machines are evil , i kicked one to steal a candy n broke my toe :(
I love Vending machines in California that dispense Medicinal cannibis ... :) ... GGGRRRRRRR *high*
waffles.
Grrr
GIGGITTY GOO !!! GRRR !!!
GIGGITY
i donkey punch the machines after taking LSD ... d*-*b
I destroy a fax machine with a bat after a vending machine steals my money and mouth out "your next" to it.
Destroy the machine.
My comment above was for Jerry.
What does that have to do with the article? Creep.
I go and get my money back from the petty cash. A buck is a buck and I will get the item I intended to get or my money back if the machine malfunctions.
When a vending machine fails to give me the item I have requested or my due change I usually become psychologically unstable whereupon there is usually an "incident."
wow! you must get really iratated!!lol
Sometimes the "incident" in questions results in me going home, visiting a discussion forum, posting something, and then proceeding to reply after my mind splits into a personality named "Jeff." Jeff, for whatever reason, likes to masquerade as me, so there is no distinguishing between himself and I, save for his horrible spelling and grammar, These dishonest machines are ruining my life.
several years ago when cokes were a quarter, I got cheated when i was range officer at a military base, the coke guy came in a little later and told me "no refunds". while I was out checking the ranges, the sgt put a quarter in, got a coke out and his quarter back, when I returned, he had emptied the machine and had a case for me.. I took them home and told the people there that if the coke man complained to tell him "no refunds"
I've used bailing wire from the recycling center where I worked to fish out that ONE bag of Famous Amos that always gets stuck on the coil. Grr.
Someone turned me into a vending machine once!
...I got better.
Our office vending machines occasionally take my money, which is sad because I only use the machines maybe 5-6 times a year. Our cafeteria is great about giving no-hassle refunds, so it's just a minor annoyance. I really do wish they'd fix the things, though, because on the odd occasion when I want a bag of chips, I *want it now* and that's when the caf is invariably closed.
I usually take my keys and open the machine bucause I own a Vending Company!
A study was done recently involving people using vending machines being monitored by a hidden camera. It was determined that 83% of the difficulties people have with vending machines are due to customer error. 83%!!!
Most commonly the customer is not paying attention to what they're doing, they're talking with their friend while trying to use the machine, or they haven't read the instruction sticker on the machine, or they pressed the wrong button and blamed the machine. So before complaining, PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
Thank you President Obama-Now please go back to sleep.
Usually I ask the business at which the vending machine is located (gas station, office, etc). Most of the time they'll give me more $$ to put in the machine and try again.
When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel like sticking my head into the coin slot of the Dr. Pepper vending machine! I work for an hour and then when I finally realize there is no way in hell it's going to happen, I start a complete dismemberment...then I break the machine!
I just talk to nearest person such as an receptionist or counter person(i.e. dealership, automotive parts shop) and check to see if I can get refunded. If not then either I use the information the person I asked initially and go from there or call the number on the vending machine. Any time you put money in a vending machine you making a bet. Technology, however making life simpler and more effective, isn't always efficient.
OK>>How many of have already entered that code.....if you have...ummmmm did it work?
The buttons work but sometimes I put in the wrong number.
I shake it and if that doesn't work I give it a good kick. Wouldn't want to bruise my knuckles now would I...
The food vending machine in my office is terrible. On top of being overpriced, it only works about 50% of the time. The problem is mainly with items in bags (like Reese's Pieces), they get stuck on the twisty round thing that holds them in place and then vends them out. I one time spent $3.00 just to get 1 bag of Reese's (I really wanted my peanut butter fix!). Being a small women, I always feel funny punching and shaking the machines.
I remember being at the San Diego Zoo many years ago, when they still had older vending machines that dispensed drinks in cups. I put in my money, and down came the ice. Then came the soda. And finally, the cup. It was so comical I just had to laugh (not my typical reaction to being ripped off). But it wasn't the last of my change, so I was able to find another machine and still get my drink.
Wow. That must be a while ago. I've only seen 2 vending machines there in the last 7 years.
I've emptied vending machines of their coin and product line on occasion when it does not operate. Sometimes I drag the offending machine off to complete the surgical removal of said coin and product. I have also sold some vending machines that did not belong to me, for fun and profit. On a few occasions, I've torched a machine to it's extinction limit. I am a vending machines nightmare. For me it's either operate properly or it pays a huge price. I have no mercy on a non-working machine.
Has anyone else ever told you that you need professional help?
Yeah, so what of it?
Oh wow!! This reminds me of our nightly gasoline baths! One time we were at Glop & Slop Chevron just getting drenched is some vintage 89 (octane that is) and my dad decided to get something from the drink machine. We had totally consumed EVERYTHING from all the window-washer buckets and my mom was monopolizing the gear lube tube. Dad was putting quarters in the machine by the dozens and all it kept saying was "Thank you." After about $47.50, he got very angry and kicked me between the legs yelling at me "That's why we have no money!" We finally finished each other off with some 93 and one quick drink of some power steering fluid and then went home. We called in to the vending machine company and the guy just said "Thank you" and hung up.
These are hilarious stories! ...Makes me wish I had one to share...
Sporks Rule!
2-for-1. What could be better?
I just get really sad... :/
I went to the vending machine with enough money to buy two sodas. I pushed the DrPepper button and the machine gave me a coke. I tried to remain calm and thought that if there is Coke in the DrPepper slot, maybe there is DrPepper in the Coke slot. Perhaps it was the vending machine loaders error, or a malfunction with the wiring. I put my money in and pressed the Coke button. What did I get? Another Coke. I dislike Coke. I will never return to that vending machine again.
Lesson learned. Only buy REAL Dr.Pepper from Dublin,Tx where they still use real sugar. Makes a big difference.
I find it difficult to believe people would drink such toxic-tasting stuff – dr Pepper, I meant. It's an acquired taste, I'm told – like exotic foods from faraway continents.
You asked that tourists don't snap pictures from your busy NY sidewalks. I will not be doing that. I visited NY city a couple times a couple years ago to see some plays. I WON'T BE BACK. You can keep your dirty, noisy , arrogant, get-out-of-my way city. I am taking my tourism dollars elsewhere.
Perhaps Dubuque, Iowa is more your speed. They have a nice new Shoney's that you will positively love, right next door to the feed-n-tack.
This last summer I spent a couple weeks in Wyoming: Cheyenne, Cody and Yellowstone. Sure thing, Dubuque would be more my speed. There's probably less noise, friendlier people, and I can stand and take picture without someone yelling at me.
Hey, that place is awesome! Breakfast served all day!
If you tourists would stop blocking the sidewalks (most of us walk you know) we wouldn't have to be so nasty. Would you sit there quietly in your vehicle while a car just stopped in your way on the road for no good reason? If you're going to stop on the sidewalk MOVE TO THE SIDE!
People in Kansas and Tennessee are pretty nice, for example. Their towns are kinda slow where drivers are polite. But follow them onto the Turnpike ... Bruce Banner mutates in raging Hulk. They have to get to work or get somewhere. Tourists from such happyville places don't realise that in NYC, sidewalks are equivalent to highways – people need to get to work or get somewhere. Stop blocking and park yourself at the breakdown lane, for goodness' sake.
Not getting what you paid for is the perfect metaphor for the Obama administration. We paid for hope and change, and we got higher unemployment, a bigger deficit and not too much else. Typical from the party of hate.
You're joking right? Party of hate?
One night the whole bunch of us were ganged up in the canteen waiting to clock in to go to work. One of the machines in the canteen was an ice cream bar machine. You'd put your money in, press your selection, and it would raise up inside a tray behind a little fridge-door.
All of the machines were so bad about taking money that the security guards had a box full of money. You tell them how much the machine took from you and they'd give it to you, no questions asked.
My buddy came over and sat down beside me with an ice cream sandwich. He said the machine had brought up two ice creams instead of one, and I could go get the other one if I wanted it.
What an opportunity. I went over to the ice cream machine and I hit it hard on the front three times – bang – Wham – BAM! That startled everybody and now they were all looking at me. I calmly opened the ice cream sandwich door and took out the free one.
I went and sat down eating the ice cream sandwich while I watched about a half dozen other guys kicking and beating the snot out of the machine trying to make it do that trick again. I provided commentary – "That's not the right spot, it's a little to the right."
Vengence was mine.
I pull the plug on the !@#$%^&* machine.
Cal is my hero....that'll teach them vendors! now...dammit i want my funyons
Good thing ATMs don't pull this crap.
Put a huge OUT OF ORDER sign on the machine....jam the coin slot with paper so it can't be used, and let the vendor-owner's product get old....revenge is sweet! I worked in an office where occasionally they didn't lock the vending machine properly. So you could just open the door and help yourself...all is well with the universe after that.
Here's an idea, bring some vegetables from home as a snack for your hectic cubicle workday, and stop depending so much on your fatty turd pretzel snacks.
Oh sir, you've made me see the error of my ways. How COULD I have gone all this time without knowing that? Thank you ever-so-much for that insight!
oh good lord. another liberal telling me how to live: eat this, don't eat that. I suppose you are next going to tell me I shouldn't be driving my big-ass Suburban? Or that I should be creating a compost pile? Go on. Go on.
You're a pathetic weenie! I'm eating a sugary treat full of carcinogens as I type this.
What the hell is the matter with you !!!
If you use them, you will get ripped off. Pure and simple. Only way to not get ripped off, is not to use them.
I get helplessly angry, leave a note on the door telling the vendor that it owes me money, and then suffer. I say suffer because I usually only go for the vending machine stuff when I'm desperate. When I don't have food, and it's been a nine hour day lready and I still have four hours ahead of me to make deadline. In that case, that bag of chips of candy bar is something I really need, and it really sucks when I can't get what I paid for.
I lost 8 quarters for a package of ho-hos. I hurt my hand when I hit the vending machine in the basement of the hospital. I should have gone to the ER. Instead I went home and got a 9 lb sledge hammer and busted up that gol-durned machine until it looked more like space debris from an old out-of-work satellite that fell apart in orbit. All shiny bits of pieces of plastic and metal..kinda pretty like. I ate only the ho-hos I paid for. The pink kind, my favorite. Actually I ate a few more and kinda made myself sick. I went to the ER and threw up right at the admitting desk. They took me in immediately. My hand had to be put in a cast but after the blood work, I found out I was glucose intolerant and so it really has a happy ending and I watch my dieting now have my blood sugar well under 110. The people at the hospital are the best and a few weeks later I bought treats for the ER folks after asking them what their favorite snacks were from the new vending machine that some maniac busted up the week before. hee hee
THIS.... is CNN.
I watched a guy rock a Coke machine in the 1980's and it fell on him. It crushed his skull like a grape.
It had been out of grape juice for an entire week. That's why he had been rocking it.
I just laughed my ass off.
It ruins my day personally. But what really sucks it when there's a bag of funyuns is hanging by a thread, so you put in a dollar thinking, "Hey! i can get 2!" Then only one comes out and the second one his hanging just like the bag before it.
DON'T GET THE FUNYUNS. DON'T DO IT.
I write in Sharpie close to the coin slot or change dispenser "NFG".
Really the best thing to do when you have a machine that is a "repeat offender" mark its location then come back during the night when no one’s around and make use of the welder that is in the back of my pickup truck and weld the coin hole shut, also if it has the dollar unit on it (cant weld it shut as its plastic) just run a bead around the outside of it where the metal face of the machine is and the heat will destroy the electronics and any result in trying to remove it is very difficult to say the least... Happy Hunting
I was once in charge of filling a Pepsi machine. On day, the machine was out of order, so i diliberately convered the coin slot and bill slot with the 'Out of Order' sign. Less than 1/2 later, someone complained the machine had stolen their money. Sure enough, they actually cut a hole in the 'Out of Order' sign to get to the change slot. Even if you can't read, that should be a no brainer.
Wow. That was really dumb. I don't have words.
I have mastered the art of convincing the vending machine at my office to drop the item stuck partway out. Tilting the machine is NEVER the best method. You have to know the correct placement of your KICK.
We had a vending machine in our college that if you put a dollar in it (provided it took the dollar) and pushed the Diet coke button you could press up to 3 more selections (most often you could only press one) and it would dispense those sodas as well. It took the vending company a while to figure out what was going on, but the dead givaway was the guy who put $20 in, threw away the 20 diet cokes and emptied the rest of the machine. The snack machine however they had to put behind a safety gate. The only accesable openings were the change slot and the dispensing slot. the thing stole money and change like a broke banker. Everage cost of a $0.35 pack of gum was about $1.10. They'd often come to refill the machine to find it had been unplugged, flipped upside down, and the saftey plastic had been smashed. A few times there would be a note attached stating that the machine had stolen money, but no one was there to refund the stolen fund.
Several years back I worked in IT for a company where one of my job duties was to retrieve DVR footage for security upon request. They requested footage of a vending machine incident where not a very bright guy was caught on camera repeatedly body checking the machine with a crowd of his idiot co-workers cheering him on. Well... he ended up inside the vending machine and the right side of his body was cut to shreds. Turns out he was going after a Snickers bar... he was hungry.
i have kicked in the glass of a vending machine once :D
dude sometimes you get free stuff from the machine, chill folks
What I do depends on the situation. If the product gets stuck, I've learned how to get it out with placing myself in peril. However, a machine that repeatedly malfunctions becomes the target of my mechanical and electrical ingenuity. Exactly what happens, I won't say. However, you can be sure the vending machine owner will take notice.
Quit buying the over-priced junk food and brown bag your lunch......snacks included
I knew this comment was coming. There's always someone no matter what the topic, who has to prove their superiority by declaring how much healthier they are than everyone else.
This poll is about vending machines. If you never use them, don't comment. Like it or not, almost everyone has used a vending machine once or twice in their life and has had a bad experience. So they're venting on how they handled it. No one needs you to tell them how unhealthy vending machine food is, they know. They also don't need to be told that if everyone did everything YOUR way, it would be perfect.
Not all vending machines sell "junk food"...
oh yeah put a sig on it that says "fuckin' broken" after you shake it so hard one leg breaks off and you get your chips
Fondest memory of engineering grad school was the day the miserable, money-stealing vending machine we all relied on for late-night sustenance went crazy. It started dispensing items one at a time, moving on to the next spiral until it reached the bottom of the machine and the whole show started over again. Grads from every lab who had been previously "wronged" gathered to grab their favorite 1 oz bag of salty retribution.
wow this article got a lot of comments, scrolling to the bottom, I forgot what I was gonna say
When the machine takes my money but doesn't acknowledge it, I usually just stop using that machine for awhile until it's serviced. That usually resets the thing. The main reason I don't get too upset (I do hate it though) is because I've gotten more out of vending machines than I've actually paid for, over the course of the last 25 years or so. Every once in awhile (twice in the last six months, strangely enough) a vending machine sometimes gives me more than I ask for. Like a soda machine in college that emptied its entire rack of the drink I chose (50 cans) for the fifty cents I put in to get just one of them. Or the soda machines where I work that have done similar tricks (although usually I pull out 20 bottles of the kind I don't want because they were stuck between me and the one I paid for).
It's not just vending machines, but any tool that doesn't work as designed, was poorly designed to begin with, or that gives inconsistent results. The designer's oversights and corners cut will frustrate the everyday user. It's kind of an insult when you are expected to use something that from its flaws seems to have been scarcely used by its own creators. It's like your dinner hosts serving you PB&J while their family eats steak. It shows a disrespect for the end user.
I see dead people :)
I call the company, and if it happens again, I make up a warning poster including tear-off slips along the bottom edge, with the number to call. And I replace it if the person who stocks the machine removes it.
Years ago we used to have one of those coin stealing machines at work; some days it would demand more money than the advertised price ore refuse to take any random coin, and other days the product would simply get stuck while brushing against an item in an adjacent row, never to dispense. We left notes, complained to our management, called the posted phone number, nobody cared. So one day we discovered a bug; when the "exact change" light was on, if you paid for an item and held the button in for that item, the spiral dispenser would just turn endlessly, and ultimately empty all the items in that row. Word spread quickly and for two days straight everybody used dollar bills to clean out the change return, then when it was empty, we just had our way with the little thieving box. Twice we emptied that machine of its over priced, stale contents, a week later a brand new and fully functional machine magically arrived. People always try to make me feel guilty when I tell this story, but they have no idea how idea how frustrating it is to be stuck with the hungry horrors on a late shift when every store within 20 miles is closed, only to be randomly mugged of your last 75 cents in change by a mechanical box.
I feel better if I jump up and down and fling poop at it. The poop keeps others from putting their money in too.
what drives me absolutely insane is using my last dollar to save myself from evil hunger and the damn bag of whatever gets stuck in the coil. run back to the office, begging and pleading for any change people might have like a street urchin from the 1900s, finally scrounge up enough to go and buy a SECOND of the same item, so i get my first hanging chad there too, only to come back and find that its gone. someone else decided that a 2 for 1 deal was too good to pass up.
I seldom use vending machines anymore. I almost never carry cash or coins anymore.
"addlepation?" Really? :::rolls eyes:::
I use the dollar coin in vending machines. Most vending machines take it and it reminds me of the old days putting in one coin and getting a drink or snack. Vending machines will never take paper money without problems.
It's well past time to drop the dollar bill and switch to the dollar coin full time. Drop the penny at the same time. What a waste of time and money the penny is.
That should read: Otherwise, they have NO incentive to [fix it]–it's free money to them!
The solution is to put an "Out of Order" sign on the machine. If you stop people from putting money in the machine, over and over again, the company that owns it will then fix it. Otherwise, they have to incentive to–it's free money to them!
Vending machines are created to randomly take your money. You know the technology exists to create machines that don't get your snacks hung up. It's a bipartisan kickback system.
body-check tourists who stop dead in the middle of busy sidewalks to snap group pictures (really – please don't do that!),
really...... OK, no tourist to NY..... and you ASSHOLE stay in NY and don't visit anywhere else with your family for vacation etc...... What a dumbass....what do expect tourist to do....
Well, just to move a few feet to either edge of the sidewalk, rather than the middle. Easy enough. They get their shot, and those of us who aren't on vacation can still get to work.
See? Everyone's happy.
The best way I found to get my money worth is to grab a coat hanger and raid everything in the machine when it steals my money or candy bar is just dangling.
I will shake the machine or kick it.
From "The Coin Machine" by Ray Stevens:
I'd like to meet the man who invented the coin machine
He must have hated mankind and every other livin' thing
I bet he had a motto on his wall in prose and rhyme sayin'
"You get nuthin' for a nickel- twice as much for a dime"
The demon machine at my office? We have gone as far as to borrow the dolly from maintenance to get a good tilt on it to get my (%^*&% snickers bar...please use correct change...dollar bill slots that never recognize my money....products snagged in those dubious spirals from hell...soda cans you hear drop that never emerge from the machine...STUPID FREAKIN' MACHINE!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!! um...yea...guess the tic me off a little now and then...but I'm getting better...after all...I'm on a diet.
Malfunctioning vending machines are no match for my ensuing rage against the machine. After repeatedly slamming the machine into a wall and twisting the frame, it's door usually opens. And one night when this behemoth Coke machine outside a gas station tried to rip me off, I knocked it over with my car, opening its door for free soda for everyone! Do not f*** with me, I always get my sh** !
This survey is flawed; because you can only chose one action. In point of fact, I do _3_ of these actions; I swear... I punch the machine... and then shake it! BTW, on the rare occasion I call the number of the machine and demand a refund, In all my 55 years, I've NEVER actually gotten one! A_C
I will shake, kick (and if needed) kill the machine to get either my money or the product.
It happens way to often that those things do not work at all and that for i"m not the patience person i used to be with machines.
I hate that I'm addicted to nasal decongestant spray – they do that on purpose!
Don't kick the stamp machine at the post office an alarm goes off,found out the hard way.
Give it the shoulder a couple times, that helps.
I attach a not . .
Dear Jimmy Jingle please please kindly refund. Funny I seen one scrawled on a napkin as other says Please No Chicken !
As for all we are meat lover ! :p
i just knock the stupid thing over-the sound of all that investment into cheap manufactured goods going boom makes me proud of my support of american manufactured (not assembled) products. and yes, i have issues and occasionally act on them
Random, pennies are made of Zinc. They are only electroplated with a tiny tiny amount of copper.
Why are these machines and the companies that own them exempt from the laws that bind the rest of us? When we steal something, we go to jail. When someone steals from me, they're arrested and go to jail. If reparations are made, they're usually part of a judge's order.
My thoughts exactly, Jeremy. We have that same machine in our office and it routinely eats dollar bills and coins. Sometimes I think they're programmed to do that on purpose to a small percentage of all money inserted (I know it's actually not the case, but it just feels like it sometimes).
Why is it that Vending Machines don't accept Pennies??..... It's a conspiracy to phase out the copper currency all together
Quarters are 75% copper...
I work out a lot, so, I tip the machine and shake it until I get something or until I hear something inside crash. If I am in a secluded spot, I will tip it over on its face.... hard.... usually resulting in the sound of crashing and other metallic disturbances.
I got so mad at a Coke machine that robbed me one time too often that I broke the front legs off and tipped it over! Was a long time ago when I was more excitable.
A fellow employee was so frustrated by a snack vending machine that he smashed out the glass to get the chips he paid for. Fortunately there was no security camera in the break room and NOBODY turned him in. It was the best way to get rid of that contrary machine. We were all very disappointed when the vending company merely replaced the glass. I changed jobs before anyone took the next step which was rumored to be a quarter stick of dynamite.
A few weeks ago I came across a vending machine that said it 100% guarantees that you'll get a refund if you don't get your item. Sure enough when I inserted my coins and selected my item, it felll into the bottom area waiting for me to pick it up. I went to pick it up and the door wouldn't open. I pushed harder and it still wouldn't open. I looked closer and saw that other people had tried to buy from this machine and couldn't get their items from the bottom as there was a pile of snacks in the bottom. I guess this machine was intended for Superman and we weak mortals aren't strong enough to open the door. What a scam.
Aaaaaarrrrrrggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Raaaaaaawwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like skittles YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vending machines are temptations to relieve stress with junk food. Vending machines are also old world. We don't need them, they look dumb and dated and depressing. Time to destroy them and do away from them, we're in 2010.
I like peanut butter
shake it(ALOT hoping it falls out) and punch the glass with brass knuckles crack and walk away
Shake, Take, Salute (to the victor go the spoils)!
Victor can have the spoils. I'll take the freshes.
I unplug the machine, drag it out to my truck, and load it up. That's my dollars worth right there... Cola anyone?
STFU! God I can't believe I spent time out of my day reading this crap. Get a life. I hope a vending machine falls over and crushes you to death. I hate New Yorkers just because of people like you. Screw you, if I want to stand on the sidewalk to take a group picture, I WILL! It's New York City, It's a TOURIST ATTRACTION!
And if I want to drive my knee into your kidneys because you've stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk, I WILL! I'm from New York City, and YOU'RE A TOURIST!
I have a vending machine in my office/warehouse. I leave the door unlocked so its basically a refrigerator with a latch bar inside the selection/coin feed door.
As a business strategy I stock it with designer or small batch sodas. Everyone is offered a free soda but they have to open the door and throw the latch. This is a psychological tool to increase sales.
As you know vending machines have been beating you your entire life. Now YOU get to beat the vending machine. There is an almost perverse thrill people take in breaching the secure door to get a soda. Like they are breaking some kind of institutional rule...BUT they are at the same time exacting a well deserved revenge against their snack time nemesis.
Of course it is at my invitation and I offer it to them for free. Even if they don't want a soda the fact that they can open the soda machine and peek in provides a delight most haven't had since childhood.
That sort of "shtick" keeps people engaged and they shop longer.
I kill the vending machine, then I loot its carcass. The boss gets mad, but after I appease him with some gummi-bears, all is forgiven.
I believe in vending machine karma. Sometimes it takes. Sometimes it gives. It all works out in the end. Don't sweat the small stuff.
wow... the life of office nerds, how funny this looks.. i just briefly observed this topic and my response is, choke slam that machine until u beat your money or food out of it. Vendors make it too complicated to get your refund so for all i care they can pay for our time and money they wasted. Its all a money making conspiracy, so in the end, carma bites you in the rear for wrong doing. .
I have lived here a long time...fuck NYC and the asses who run this place! I guess I'm not leaving anytime soon. Fuck all who comment to my comment. Ya'll should get a life. Also, CNN is getting retarded...ooopps. I guess they will take this out, cause I typed "retarded". Whatever.....people are getting dumber by the minute.
CNN comment's are always better then the article. [: ALWAYS
I calmly and rationally explain to the offending machine the fundamental unfairness of its actions and try to impress upon it the wisdom of surrendering the product for which I have already paid.
Then I hit the *bleep*ing thing until it breaks.
Maybe I'm lucky but i'm a bigger guy and when this happens I just shake the living $hit out of it....... Its 50/50 if get what I had intended on but I always get a Few War prizes
I Unplug the machine and put a sign on it not in operation.
(if the vending machine is selling parishables I leave a note over the coin/bill op
I usually write a note saying what happened and tuck it in the money slot far enough that it can't be easily removed. I leave the written part hanging out so that others will not suffer the same. This ensures that the vendor will not get any more money until they FIX THE ****ING PROBLEM.
I HATE ME!!!
I hate everything you can possibly think of ( and some things that you would never think of.. )
I wish they had a fart vending machine....and the dispenser could be a sphincter......yeah...that would be cool.
My employer sends us to the cashier who gives us back the money we say we lost. Of course this means that there is trust that one is not going to lie about the issue. Usually if we installed a dollar bill the cashier will give us 4 quarters. This usually takes care of the issue.
When I was younger, say 10 years old, I would go to the public library alot. I was an avid reader, and would sometimes photocopy things for reports from the World Book. Pictures, I wasn't a cheater. This was 1980. Anyway, there was a change machine, which was a new thing, it would change quarters and dimes for nickels and probably paper dollars, although at that age I didn't have one. But it had a glitch. If you put in a dime, it would give you 2 nickels, but if you did that, and put in a nickel, it would give you a dime. So you could walk out of the library a nickel richer, which was big for a ten year old. BUT, if you put in another nickel, it would keep it, I guess to make up for what it gave you. So the trick was just to bring a dime, change it to 2 nickels, put one in, get a dime and walk away. Sadly...I was always greedy, and very rarely walked away, and usually ended up with the actual money I was deserved. I'm 40 now, and I've never gambled, as I think I would not be very good at walking away....but as a kid, it was pretty cool to find that out, and share with a couple people.
I go full Milton and set the building on fire.
I hate eggs.
My rule of thumb is, never put big bills in a vending machine. So it stole my dollar, big deal. I'll a different machine next time.
People go crazy over the stupidest things.
Perhaps if more people took baseball bats to the front of these things the vendors would work on making more reliable machines. It is in the vendors best interest for the machine to screw up when its supposed to dispense product but rarely when it takes your money. I build automation equipment for a living and if our stuff was as unreliable as the vending machines we would not only get canned but get an enormous bill from our customers as well (a container full of semiconductor wafers unlike a bag of chips can be worth thousands of dollars).
Don't tell Carl P.!
Did ya'll know that Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane crashed?
Again?
I usually just tip it over – on it's side is the best...
Amen OM – do what's right by the customer or pay hommage to the deceased machine!!!
...I have a standard policy regarding vending machines that steal my money: I reach around when possible and unplug them. If I have paper and pen at hand, I'll also write a note to the effect that the machine is "out of order" because it stole my money, and jam it in the coin slot so that it stays in place while leaving the message visible. Some might argue that I'm costing the vending machine owner money and that I'm overreacting over a lousy buck or less, but it's the principle of the matter. When I spend my money, I expect something in return. Steal from me, and you get what you deserve.
[cue dozens to go "lol" while other dozens go "u r a l00zer" and other dozens try to equate me with Hitler]
I usually got one of the big guys in our department to come shake it out. He did it every time. :-)
I feed vending machines toe nail clippings
When a machine has eaten my money I leave the typical note stating the amount and the item attempted. I give the vending machine company 1(one) week to reimburse me. The machine is serviced twice a week. If nothing has happened in one week the machine gets destroyed – plain and simple. And yes I have been caught destroying a machine (by the vending machine employee) and I FULLY explained the situation and my frustration as I was clobbering the employee. He was trying to stop me and I was not going to be denied my revenge. He sued – I counter-sued – I had the best lawyer – I WON!!! A shot gun also works wonders – but don't aim near the item(s) you wanted in the first place – buck-shot and chocolate don't taste good together – heck – buck-shot and anything don't taste good together. Bottom line – if the machine doesn't work – make sure it doesn't work forever.
I haven't personally, but have know people who have beat the heck out of machines because of their machine rage. Personally I'm the kind of guy that will go to the merchant until they refund my money or open the machine and get me what I bought. I know it sounds crazy, but if I spend even a small amount of money in a machine and it steals it, its no different than if the machines owner took the money and ran, unacceptable in my opinion.
Was rocking a snack machine with the solid tempered glass front and missed the frame and went through the tempered glass instead. Wasn't hungry after that!
Back in the day when coke machines dispensed a random combination of paper cups, ice, syrup, and carbonated water, it was a chance you took. At my office, some guy put a note on the machine: "Win a Coke. 25 cents a chance!"
Vending machines make us so angry when they dont work because the incident is an instant failure of the concept.
It's a machine, designed to dispense a product with no human interaction. You put in money and push a button, you get what you wanted, period. When it doesn't, you come to appreciate human contact and really HATE machines at that moment...yet, all you have is the machine, staring at you, uncaring silence.
Thank You DR.B-I feel much better now. Same time next week?
Smash the glass....only champions deserve chips!@
Chips are for chumps. Champions choose Wheaties.
I sloppily spackle peanut butter onto and into the coin slot then attach a post it note stating "Warning – this is human feces!"
I have successfully figured out a way to get free drinks from vending machines. Why? Well, I have had countless dollars stolen from me from one machine, so I figured out a way to cheat them out of money for once. They can't do anything about me cheating them, just as the 800 number does nothing to help me when the machine steals my money (most of the time it is a number not in service).
I may give the machine a dollar every now and again, but I usually get 4 free drinks before I give back, to make up for all the lost dollars.
I have gas too
The drink vending machines with the conveyer belt that goes up and down then rolls the drink to the side are easy to cheat back. Put your hand on the door the drink comes out. It will try to dispense the drink a few times, then give up and give you money back. Pick another drink and, tada, 2 for 1 drinks.
I have left a note like that picture before, when I conveniently had some paper and a pen in my bag, I put that note in the coin thingy to warn others before they tried, at least they were warned
As a US citizen living in Japan I have been amazed at the sheer volume of vending machines and the lack of vending machine troubles. 2 and a half years of Japanese vending machine usage and zero money loss, injury or stress induced. I don't know what they do differently here but US manufacturers might want to consider a design change or two.
I use my huge erection to go under and up into the machine to knock down any dangling goodies,
Chow with Christ, Brah.
I hate hipsters that try to copy 4chans work on random comment areas like this. GRRR
copy 4chan?? isnt that the whole point of 4chan??????
eat my tits
Not if they came out of a vending machine...probably stale like the honey bun.
Urine Idiot.
I go to the owner of the premises the vending machine is on and demand my money back, if they refuse I tell them I will put a sign over the coin slot that it is out of order and will come back every day to make sure it is still there. When they look at me like I'm crazy I pick something up that's worth a dollar or less and say "Look! Look what I can get for a dollar in your store! Now I want my money back!" That usually works, though one time I actually had to follow through on my threat til I was pumping gas one day and someone I thought was a complete stranger came up to me and handed me a dollar, it was a store owner I was mad at about a month ago for not giving me my dollar back.
Wow, thats awesome!
I've gotten my money back when the vending machine at my college broke. I called to the number on the machine, and the people from the student affair payed me back. It took about 1 hour, though.
I liked the ones in Japan. I used the vending machines almost everyday when I stayed there, and it was OK.
I prefer unsweetened drink, and they had many kinds of unsweetened drinks, too. (black tea, green tea, brownish tea, and a type of Chinese tea, coffee, and e.t.c.) The vending machine in my tiny college only provide water for unsweetened choice and sometimes takes some money.
If you lose money in the machine and have a cell phone (and who doesn't?) just call the 800 number posted right next to the coin slot. It has worked every time for me to get a refund. Plus it lets the company know that the machine isn't working correctly. They usually ask if I can put a "Not Working" post-it, etc. on the machine. No problem...just a way of passing it forward and looking out for my fellow snacker.
Thank you for saying so, I will remember that.
I'm guilty of getting a man to shake the vending machine for me.
get some muscles and do it yerself, then get bak to the kitchen and make me a sammich
better not come back without that damn samich
better not come back without that sammich
Go with Chrsit, Brah.
Betsy, pay no attention to truth and spaz. I'm sure they are grown boys living in thier Moms basement.
I un-plug it, very satisfying.
Heh...that's actually pretty funny.
and mildly therapeutic
i like how the one choice shown with visuals is not on the list to be voted for (leave a note on the machine)
Destroy all vending machines!
Has anyone noticed that machines don't want to give back change anymore? Ours at work have to have the Return Change button pressed. There's no notice that this has to be done. I wonder how many people have assumed it was broken and walked off without their change?
Denese, I'm sure quite a few, including myself.
wheres my cheese samich bubba?
This happened to me today at college.
I had 3 options that i was seriously considering each one:
1) i have a concealed handgun on me at all times... THAT WAS MY LAST DOLLAR BUT I HAVE PLENTY OF LEAD! *BLAM!* *BLAM!* *BLAM!*
2) Do nothing....
3) Pull out the gun, smash through the plexi-glass with the butt-end... reach in and grab my twix. ... eat twix... enjoy twix...
Today i did number 3. I wonder when they will fix it.
guns r for pussies. I would head but that sonubitz
Spaz, you are the definition of a true headcase.
I get very agitated by this. Why? Because if a machine is malfunctioning and takes my quarter, chances are it cheats people all the time. This makes me think the company is making extra money by cheating patrons and probably knows about it from complaints – yet they continue to steal.
In college the vending machine in the basement of our dorm used to eat the coins. So we knocked the machine down, reached in through the shattered front glass and took all the candy. Humans FTW.
I cast a spell on the machine
In our building, the vending machines were notorious for eating money. The company maintaining the machines would just tear the "this machine steals your money' signs w/out fixing them. Finally someone just got frustrated and wedged a door stop in the dollar slot. The machines got fixed pretty quickly after that! Don't mess w/ hungry engineers!
If the vending machine eats the only cash I have on me I'll let that one time slide but if it does it to me again. Then I'll unplug the machine.
Anybody got 25 cents I can borrow? Damn machine ate my quarter. So what are we talking about again?
LMAO, that was good!
I stand there as if the machine will somehow change its mind. As I stand there is utter disbelief I tell every passerby "can you believe this stupid damn thing?"
That has actually prompted others to come to my aid...My least favorite is when the bag o treats spins on the spindle falls towards the glass and stays there pinned and since I don't have another buck fifty to now have two bags it stays there waiting to reward the next purchaser.
i've found a solution that has worked for me 100% of the time for when the bag of chips is just dangling there:
you back up maybe 20 feet, get a running start, and body check the machine. it helps if youre a few drinks in and DONT throw ALL your weight into it....then it might just fall on you.
ive done this 4 times successfully.
u suck
u need 20 feet?... pansy
Frank Spaz... Name calling is forbidden in the kingdom of God. Repent for your churlish manners, Frank Spaz.
FRANK SPAZ for Prez! Amen!
obvious dickwad is obvious
@ the truth: Actually, you are the lil dickwad.
Go with Christ, Brah.
If a vending machine steals from me I make sure to pour some sulfuric acid down the coin slot to short circuit the mofo
Your name fits you, you are a Spaz (AKA: Headcase)
go blow it out yur ass bubba
Glow with Christ, Brah.
Vengeance is not for you to seek, Frank Spaz. Forgive those who trespass on us, Frank Spaz.
Jebus loves me?
lil spaz, (AKA: headcase), go away. The grown ups are speaking. C'mon, at your age of twenty, give it another shot at graduating grade two this year. There maybe some slim hope in you passing, though I think not! LMAO!
I rock that machine rather vigorously. We'll suffice the sound to be like an earthquake once I get it rocking good.
Since the vast majority of the time the vending company doesn't bother with refunding the stolen money, might as well share the financial loss...
One time I also watched a squad of Marines, who were disgusted with one particular machine that rarely produced its products, invert the machine and literally shake it empty of product.
For some strange reason, in the crowded assembly area, no witnesses were to be found, but loads of people in above normal morale...
don't f*** with Marines
Especially when it's a condom machine...."looks like I'm goin to the doctor".
I bet it is a Bush-era conspiracy!
There was a vending machine downstairs at work that constantly consumed my coins. The "company" was unresponsive until I notified them that I would be placing an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on it everyday until it was replaced. I did. I like to think their revenue dropped (whatever it was) and the machine was replaced.
Vending machines in the U.S. are terrible. For how much we love to snack, we sure put up with terrible dispensers. I lived in Japan for a few years and never had any trouble with the machines there. I never had food get stuck, they would accept different denominations of paper money and actually give you back change in both bills and coins rather then putting a $5 in a machine here and getting back $4.25 in quarters, and some would even microwave the food for you. You could even buy a minikeg from the vending machines outside the liquor store (which probably wouldn't really work here, but still).
I find a piece of paper, write "out of order" and tape it on the coin slot so I can save others from getting ripped off.
I unplug it to teach it a lesson! no more sales!
Well after years of a vending machine at work taking our money and the owner not acknowledging our calls we filled the chute with self expanding insulation foam. Needless to say we never got ripped off again.
I unplug the machine... they screw me i screw them. I locked/tagged out a machine at work that stole my money. I put a lockbox with a padlock over the power cord. It's for $afety...
seriously, you need help. First, you're already an *expletive* if you actually have to refrain from attacking people who are standing on the sidewalk. Something tells me you don't have the nuts for it anyway, so quit pretending it's even an issue. Second, quit eating food out of a vending machine, fatso.
Wow. Was the vending machine all sold out of chill pills were you were? You seem much, much angrier than the writer does and mean, too.
Whew, I have to agree with ZRS on this one.
eat dirt maggot
Frank Spaz,who loves you? Why, Jesus does.
heil lil spaz
@ Spaz: The only lil maggot here is you, troll.
Look, these machines have only been around for fifty years or so. Hardly enough time to iron out the kinks. The technology just isn't mature yet. You guys are just too impatient. LOL.
I roundhouse that motha F****a!!!
chuck norris isnt funny anymore and hes not that tough anyways. i could kick that old dudes ass no problem
God be with you, Frank Spaz.
duh hes like 80 @.@
I agree, chuck norris is a weasely punk
Slow with Christ, Brah.
Chuck Norris would stomp the shit out of you.
I go to a vending machine only when i'm hungry and when I dont get what I need... I just pray that the vending company CEO becomes poor and hungry
I try not to use a vending machine. However, if i need something and it eats my coins, I'll just yank the electrical cord out to disable the vending machine. The company doesn't make or steal any more money!
When working in a factory for 18 years, this has happened to me so many times. What used to get me was the fountain drink despener. I'd put my money in, press Pepsi and wait. No cup would come down, but the ice and cola did. Was like Grrrrrr! LMAO!
maybe quit the sh i tt y cheese sandwitch factory job
No, Spaz, it was a Greeting Card Company, lil one.
May the lord help you find your way out of your abyss, Frank Spaz.
all heil frank spaz
Know with Christ, Brah.
I agree with Mitch Hedberg. I want a vending machine that sells vending machines.
You should see the notes left on the machine in our teachers' lounge! "This stupid machine did not give me my peanut butter crackers!"
LMAO, that is funny!
Once I called the number on the machine collect ('from a dissatisfied customer') but they didn't take my call. Did they really expect me to pay 25 cents for a call to get my money back? (this was before most people had cell phones) I was really ticked off and tried calling three times. This machine was obviously defective, so I thought they had placed it at the Modesto airport deliberately because most people who got ripped off would not have time to stay around and deal with getting their money back. If I got that mad at my age now, I would probably blow a fuse.
Hard to argue with a machine. But getting raged out? Commiting vandalism? Generally I don't use the machines, but when I've lost money I dealt with it calmly. Walked away happy.
You said it the best way possible. I personally go Grrrr, then walk away.
happy u got ripped off?? gimme that monay suckafool!!!
Hahahahahahahahhahaha@suckafool....
Simple. Unplug the machine. Then replug it in. Whilst holding down the coin return button, enter AA-12, B7, CC-1, then C and D at the same time. This gets you into Administrative Mode. On the rear of the machine at the bottom left is a VIN number (Vending ID Number). Whilst holding the AA button, enter this code, then C and D at the same time. Selecting any item's number now will release an item as well as any remaining behind it. Hope you like that stale "Party Mix!"
way cool name
troll much
@ The truth, you are the definition of a troll, along with spaz.
Grow with Christ, Brah.
i wonder how many people will try this......
Back in the day (the 1980s) if a soda / vending machine stole our coins we poured salt water into the coin vent to really f**k it up. I miss those days.
Right, first I pay for the junk food, then for my doctor... So there, keep the change.
I recommend using a metal cutter to open a hole in the machine so that you can take the soda you paid for. Alternatively, you should weld the coin slot closed so that the vending machine company doesn't get to steal anyone else's money.
Once, I threw a vending machine out a 5th floor window and it burst open like a pinata. I had to go get my car to load up on food for the week.
Please tell us your postal code, so we don't put a vending machine there.
When I give my last nickel into a vending machine only to be denied my stash, I generally leave a sticky note on the machine and within two business days I have my money back and sometimes a free sample for my trouble.. :)
a snack machine that costs a nickle per??? wtf?
But if you don't get your sweet treat, how do you make the note sticky?
One time a work there was a vending machine that would credit you if you put in a dime in, but would let it drop through so you could use it again. When the guy came to fill it up next time the machine was empty with almost no money. Needless to say everyone felt like they'd gotten even. ;>)
That happened to me once in college. I and another guys "bought" every soda out of the machine using ONE quarter. Funny as hell.
Ge a couple of guys nearby and tilt the sucker.
I've hip checked the ever living daylights out of a vending machine to get food that's hung. Hip checked it hard and repeatedly enough to move it against the wall when it's been a foot away. I paid good money for those overpriced potato chips!!!
u must have a big fat ass
God is upon us all to seek his love, Frank Spaz.
fattest of the fat
Crow with Christ, Brah.
Pay no attention to lil spaz, he can't understand humor.
right back atchu bubba
Though not a vending machine, but the same concept...the parking meter....which has taken my last quarters and has failed to acknowledge the transaction. grrrrrr....... I then write a note, stick it on my windshield and hope that the meter reader will allow me my time allotment.
I just recall the ridiculous sight of a waffle in a vending machine, laugh, and get over it
Load the vending machine on my truck, drop it off at the scrap dealer :) He gets me my coins back!!!
I could kick your ass nancy!
I bide my time... come back with a friend when the machine is sleeping.... then carefully tip the machine over and then upside down. All it's guts (snacks) fall out of it's greedy slots. We then tip the now awake and terrified vending machine back upright and help ourselves to any and all of the snacks we have been denied from this machine or any of it's cohorts.
Yeah, I'd like to see you and *any* friend, even the governator, tip over a 900 pound machine and put it back upright. It is idjits like you that get killed by falling vending machines.
Uhh.. Get over the tourists that take the group pictures too. All the money that "we" pour into NYC pays a lot of people's salaries!!
No way. How do you justify that tourist pay more taxes in NY than the people who live and work there? That was the dumbest comment on earth. Tourists need to remember that while they might be awed by the big city, some people have to get somewhere for a job. Don't come and be rude in our city, and we won't go to Idaho where you live and ask if your dad is also your husband. Deal?
I think you got the state of Idaho mixed up with the hills, like way back in the ozarks.
eat dirt TC, NYC makes more money than the rest of the mofuin country bi a tch
Who farted? Oh,NYC smells like that all of the time.
I've given serious consideration to designing a robot that can be put in the hopper and climb up the inside of the glass with suction cup feet to grab the item that refused to drop. I suspect there would actually be a large market for these things :-).
Or, you could just carry around a small midget, just for such emergencies
gary coleman did that one the side
I always find the owner of the machine (or building admin) and get my money back on the spot. I've done that since childhood.
I especially hate the ones that allow you to pay with your debit card. If you forget to press the "I'm done" button, the next person in line get $40 of free candy or soda. Ever pay for a soda, hear "clickity-clack," then get nothing from the machine? AUGH!!! Hulk smash. Hulk smash now.
I may be a small person, but I 'm quite effective at hurling the whole of my mass at the side of a machine to shake loose the last bag of Bugles.
I understand your frustration, Bugles are quite tasty!
bubba, bugles taste like ass
Blow my Christ, Brah.
Figures someone named 'Bubba' knows what ass tastes like.
Ha! Misread that. Self-banned from this forum now.
I love Bugles! 25 years ago when I was young they used to be round so you could stick them on your fingers – or in your sisters ear, whatever .....
I guess "whatever" is where Bubba shoved his, um, Bugles
I have,
punched,shaken,cursed (while doing all of the others),called the number on machine, and finally through a coupon in te mail received the product.
Thank goodness the vending machines at work take plastic. We can add 'cash' to our ID cards and then swipe them at the machines and the meal places.
That is a ripoff. You have technically paid for the stuff before taking delivery and even then no guarantee you'd get what you want. My work used to be like that, minimum deposit onto the card £5 about $7.50 ..... worked in a building with 3000 other people – imagine the interest / profit they were making on that lot!
There is a flip side: Many losers obtain things first and then when their bill comes around, WOOPS! They haven't a penny to pay for it. They abuse the credit system (big mortgage anyone?) and people with excellent credit end up forking over more in taxes to accommodate the losers that want everything they cannot afford. I absolutely HATE people that cannot pay their way . . .
We should just pay and be happy that it doesn't give us processed sugary foods/drinks full of preservatives and chemicals that make us fat and ugly ;P
gtfo soda h8tr
I call the Governator and tell him to find John Connor so he can stop Skynet from growing with the money it takes from my wallet.
While I find vending denial to be truly annoying, I have recently seen some changes that are helping calm my general hatred for such machines. It seems that, at least on military bases, they're starting to add technologies to help us all in our quest for impulse snacking. More and more machines are taking credit cards, eliminating the need for pesky coinage. Couple that with laser / infrared / magic sensing systems to verify that a product has actually dropped, and you don't have to worry about being ripped off anymore. Of course this now puts me in the new predicament of not having a shred of cash on me and not being able to find a machine with a working credit card reader, but every technology has it's downside I guess.
I've now had my credit card frozen twice because of vending machines (Thank you Chase...). Once from a snack machine, once from a water vending machine. Both times I used the card for two purchases, and both times the credit card company decided that two charges for under a dollar in less than five minutes was suspicious.
And both times I was out shopping, and got to find out at the NEXT store, trying to pay for my real purchases, that the card no longer worked. ^&%$^$#^$ fraud monitoring.
Where are you shopping? Almost EVERY store has some kind of drink available. Why stop at a machine when you can buy a drink at the store where you are shopping?
Chase is convinced you are financing your high life of crime $3 at a time?
figures.
I follow the hawk
Smash an innocent calculator to bits with a baseball bat in full view of the vending machine. that usually convinces them I mean business.
Like
Best answer I have read in weeks! If you had said "fax machine" instead of calculator, would have been even more funny!
Fax machines are never innocent.
I've found that grabbing the plug for the machine next to it and let it watch as I tug it from the outlet, then mouth "you are next". Either that or I set a trap for the person who eventually shows up to refill them
LOL!!!
Fantastic! lol
DO WANT.
I hate vending machines. I never use them. Does that make me The Winner?
No. You lost the game.
yes, you win sex
Now where is *that* machine?
Machines of questionable integrity...reminds me of a documentary (Hacking Democracy) that I watched on voting machines once.
I HATE IT WHEN VENDING MACHINES DO THAT!!!!! GRRRR
I hate it when people type in all CAPS! Grrr!!!
I hate when people respond to someones comment using a format similar to theirs!
inb4 "i hate hypocrites" =)
I hate people named Thomas.
I hate it when people complain about something that's got nothing to do with the article in question. Grrrrr
i hate myself
I hate G. Thomas. GRRRRRRR
I hate you, grrr.
I hate people that say Grrrr!!!!!
Thank you all for the biggest laugh I've had in days.
I love cheese.
Grrr! I'm a lion.
I hate...................I forgot!
i love lamp.
I love turtles
i love turtle soup
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DONT USE CAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we hate u too scott
I hAtE wHEn PeOplE uSe cAPs iNcOrReCtLy...
I hate, I hate, I hate peter pan.
I love you, Scott.
I HATE midgets that type in all CAPS! Grrr......
I hate forum trolls.
Do you really love lamp?
I dislike country music.
G. Thomas, you must be a liberal.
I hate liberals.
..I hate jello.
Du Hast!
I hate it when people hate people who type in all CAPS! GRRRR!!!! j/k :)
I hate when people come late to a joke but still reply anyway. Grrrrr!
I hate being broke!
Spoon!
I hate you all....
I hate republicans and tomato soup!
"Du hast" just means "you have". "You hate" would be " Du hasst". Anyway, I'm a lover not a hater!
I hate people who hate people that hate people who hate everyone....and everyone hates scott
I hate people who hate. and stop it with the GRRRR enough of those already GRRRR.
I hate the Sonic commercials at the beginning of EVERY video on CNN.
Oh and i also hate Scott.
˙sǝlʇɹnʇ ǝsǝǝɥɔ ǝʌol I
I hate obscure "Tick" references
I hate hypocrites.
Somebody had to say it. :P
I like poop.
Me, too. 2 girls, 1 cup.
ihateitwhenpeopletypeanddonotknowhowtousethespacebarcorrectly.sofromnowonpleasedonotusethespacebarwhentyping.lettheragingbegin./popcorn
I hate Jimmy Page
@Hahahaha. Yes, I do love lamp. =]
I know there are people in the world who do not love their fellow human beings and I hate people like that!
I hate useless articles.
I hate Bacos. Bacon Bits are clearly better.
meow(:
DITTO
Mmm, bacon.
I hate it when people take the time to complain about people who type in all caps IGNORE IT AND GET OVER IT haha
i love trolls
i hate that the Go-Go's broke up!!!!
I hate everyone.
The Go-Go's broke up?????
God did not create the vending machine, therefor the universe does not exsist.
The cake is a lie!
How can anyone hate jello? What did the wiggle ever do to you?
I hate it when people take the time to complain about people who complain about people who type in all caps IGNORE IT AND GET OVER IT haha...!!!!
I rarely approach vending machines these days, but I happen to come accross one of those special keys that opens them in high school. All the free snacks and cash I wanted from the machines it fit.
HAHA I love you SHawkin
You have made my day :) keep up the good work!
LOVE – HATE, Both extremes, of which I'll never understand, fully.
This hate fest is making me gassy.........
i hate gas
My gas doesn't smell.....
wrong
as if that is not enough.. he puts the hand deeeeeppaaaaahh
I don't fart
i love to cut cheese
I hate that Rockwood needs some nasal decongestant...
I . . . . . am . . . . . job?
I hate jour job
I like the smell of my farts. Smells like Easter eggs.
I love to fart...and I am a girl!
@zahara-unsuspecting while trying to choose my Cheetoe"s-Wearing a pant suit with a distinct "Bubble Butt"! Please don't bump into any door frames. I did see you "giggle" while in the elevator.
@Richard Head-okay...I'm busted...I'll try harder to keep a straight face...
@zahara-It's o.k.-didn't make the cheetoe's taste any better,yet watching you walk while expelling a brown liquid from your left leg was priceless. How much was the Dry cleaning bill and are you still allowed on the elevator?
I slam the machine into the wall until i get my food
LOL!!
never stand between that man and his fritos
They start off by kissing eachother and smelling eachothers genitals
The road to self help and finding clarity of mind is through our lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Frank Spaz.
I hate * grrr
oh, are we re- grrrrr- gitating now?
My pet peeve is when the machine won't tell you it is out of the drink you want until after you put money in and try to select the drink, and then instead of refunding your money forces you to choose a selection you don't want.
or, you could just hit the coin return....
nope, I tossed a buck fifty into the coke machine, it didn't have what I wanted, hit the coin return and damn thing wouldn't spit the money back. I got an orange soda and while it was tasty it was not a delicious ice cold Coca-Cola (plug). I did, however, fetch a Milky Way from the snack machine without it getting stuck, but I did have my heart set on a Snickers (plug), which the machine did not have. While we're on the topic of vending machines: I really wanted some pop-tarts last week. The machine in front of me had strawberry and that's it. I got the strawberry ones and wouldn't you know it right behind the strawberry pop-tarts was a package of blueberry pop-tarts. I was pissed to say the least.
The machine at my job only has brown sugar poptarts. I hate brown sugar poptarts. Can I get a little variety? Or are those the only ones on sale at Sam's?
I don't know anyone who likes brown sugar poptarts.
I love poptarts but haven't had one in a long time, not since science ruined them. Ok, science didn't ruin them but they just pointed out how horrible they are for you. I remember loving the brown sugar ones and the strawberry were ok, the layer of icing on the top was my favorite. I just thought I'd contribute my bit of fluff to this light-hearted piece :-)
i love poptarts dipped in fluff
You forgot to mention that calling the number on the machine is ineffectual as well. If I bother I usually have to call SEVERAL times to get any kind of refund. I'm am guilty of almost everything on that list. I swear it's a racket. They know the machines malfunction, they just pocket all the extra money.
ineffective
They just count on people not bothering to complain.
Surf the web, Youtube etc., for instructions and videos on how to beat the machines. Standing with your back near the machine and mule kicking it near the coin slot often gives interesting results. Older machines "love" foreign coins
Luckily I am a fairly strong guy and can shake the hell out of a vending machine.. it usually gives up the goods..
Vending machine shakedown: – "You ... dirty rat... you da one dat failed my brudda's snak attack!!"
Did ya'll know Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane crashed?
What?! When? I hate when I'm the last to know.
(Chocolate PopTarts are the best. The ones with white icing in the middle and on the outside. Mmmm.)
I kick the hell out of it and then I unplug it.
Yeah! Show that machine who's boss, bygawd!!!
i hate losing the game.. you know the game whre if you think about the game you lose n than u have 30 minutes to forget about the game... well i just lost... thanks tamakra or however u spell ur name
You lost the game for being 6 months late playing the game.
I hate myself now because I loved myself earlier.. So sleepy now...
I once cut a hole in a soda machine that was in the parking structure of a condo building I was working in. The machine took my money and failed to give me a soda and when I called the number on the machine, no one answered. The building management told me they did no own the machine, did not know who owned it and would not refund my money so I just cut a hole in the machine, took ONLY my money back and went home. Felt good, teach them to f&*k with a UNION sheet metal worker with metal working tools !!
Seriously???? You cut a whole in the machine for a dollar??? Wow!
That's f-ing awesome!
That is class.
No you didn't. If you cut a hole in the machine the very least you could have gotten was a drink. The money is deposited into a change lock box that is very secure. Short of using welding equipment you did not cut the money box open.
On some of the older machines the coin box is not very protected.
Really the best thing to do when you have a machine that is a "repeat offender" mark its location then come back during the night when no one’s around and make use of the welder that is in the back of my pickup truck and weld the coin hole shut, also if it has the dollar unit on it (cant weld it shut as its plastic) just run a bead around the outside of it where the metal face of the machine is and the heat will destroy the electronics and any result in trying to remove it is very difficult to say the least... Happy Hunting
Don't get mad get even. Take another coin, coat it with super glue, and put it in .
Awesomeness.
@jdizzle-Hey cheesehead,how's it hangin in the "Frozen Tundra"?
Somewhere out there, the NYS legislature is thinking how they can get their hands on the confiscated vending machine nickles and dimes to use to balance the budget.
in internet, comment hate you
"Change is inevitable... except from a vending machine" – Robert C. Gallagher
I think I'll masturbate now.
Jerry: What does that have to do with the article? Creep.
I hate CNN's ad
it shows they will stoop to new lows
Hate is such a strong word. Can't we just all get along???
I hate when they put a granola bar in front of a delicious honey bun.
Darn you for making me buy something I dont want so I can buy what I do want!
That SUCKS!
Laughing my freaking butt off. Omg! This is awesome! and I love a Good Laugh!!!!!
Laughing my freaking butt off. Omg! This is awesome! and I love a Good Laugh!!!!! Have a great weekend everyone.
Wait around for the next guy to lose his money and feel pain together
I punch my hand through the cheap plastic barrier and grab my soda. I earned it.
"Vending machines are responsible for approximately two deaths annually in the US"
Does that make any sense to you?
How can a vending maching be responsible for the death of someone? or for that matter responsible for anything?
It should say – 2 idiots a year attempt to bear hug and shake 600 lbs machines which then fall ontop of them and crush them. The only one 'Responsible' for the deaths are the people that put themselves in the situation.
I hate it when the families of those idiots hire attorneys to file negligent claims against the vending machine companies and/or the property owners and win large claims for the deaths of the stupid people who died. This is part of the reason insurance premiums are so high as well as the price of a nice bag of Funions! Damn those idiots. I hate them. But I love Funions.
Dam it. I need a dollar. Theres some "cheetos'" in there I want.
My real name is Chester Cheetah and I want you to go back to that irresponsible Vending machine-Stand right in Front of it and say"Frito Bandito is Gay"! Yes I threw out the "race card",NO Amnesty for Chips! Also Frito Lay hires Chester wannabees. What is my Southern Texas coming too?
I work at a hospital and this happens literally every week. I have built muscles just lifting the machine to help out the fellow patrons of the hospital to get their well deserved snack. The vending machine guy just takes the hanging candy and puts it right back into circulation without a care in the world as I advise him that this machine steals peoples money on a daily basis. He could give a rip and calling the stupid number listed on the machine is a weeks wait to get your stupid dollar back which no one in their right mind does besides the penny pinchers that can't stand losing a buck. After years of the same old machine and obvious profits, I do believe it's high time these thieves rethink the spiral ring of despair. Just my two cents.