"What do I eat that I am ashamed to admit?
If someone thinks they're worthy of judging what I eat, or think they're going to try to tell me what I can't eat (I'm looking at YOU, New York Health Department), or even that they have the right to SPEAK to me about it, I have a complimentary meal for them. It's called a "knuckle sandwich" served with "mind your own business sauce".
I understand it's low in calories.
That being said, in the spirit of the day, there are a few things I eat that others may think I shouldn't, which just makes them taste better. Disapproval is sweet.
Fried Spam sandwiches with sweet pickle relish.
The five-second rule proves, to the shock of children and drunk people the world over, insufficiently prophylactic against salmonella and other bacterial buzzkills.