Breakfast buffet
August 5th, 2010
09:00 AM ET
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While you're frying up some eggs and bacon, we're cooking up something else: a way to celebrate today's food holiday and the most delicious finds on TV.

Aw, shucks. It's National Oyster Day. To commemorate the half-shelled occasion, slurp down a dozen of the bodacious bivalves with a squeeze of lemon and a dash of Tabasco.

No need to clam up - today, the world is your oyster.

What's on TV?

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Filed under: Breakfast Buffet • Food Holidays • News

Picky dinner pals
August 5th, 2010
06:00 AM ET
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Ah, dining out. One of the simple joys in life. No need to futz over the stove or fiddle with preheating the oven - everything is taken care of. Just sit back, relax and ... wait, did you say relax? Too bad your restaurant compadre is a total buzzkill.

We polled our friends and colleagues about their dining Debbie Downer pals, then kicked backed and watched their complaints roll in.

Here's what they had to grumble about.

The Top Chef judge

"The food is not hot enough. The chicken is too dry. How long have the ribs been cooking? How often were they sauced? Just enjoy your meal!"

"What do you expect me to say now that you've totally dissed the restaurant? For the record, my salmon was delicious."

"I know, I know, I know. You TOTALLY could have made that sabayon of pearl tapioca better."

"Oh, those lovable faux wine connoisseurs: they sit there swirling and sniffing and gargling when really, they wouldn't know the difference between a Bordeaux and Burgundy if it hit them in the face."

The competitive non-eater

"For some reason, this is particularly the case with women. It's like, let's see how I many times I can push around this piece of lettuce before I set my fork down. I call it 'competitive non-eating.'"

"I really wanted that 16 ounce filet. Curse you for ordering a cup of soup!"

"When that bread basket comes out, you better believe I'm going to have a piece. And if you give me the stink eye, you're just jealous of the delicious carbs I'm about to stuff in my face."

The on-the-side fiend

"I'll have the dressing on the side. The croutons on the side. The tomatoes on the side. The noodles on the side. If they're on the side, you do know you still eat them ... right?

"The dish is written out that way on the menu for a reason. This isn't like Build-a-Bear workshop."

The calculator

"I understand that money is hard-earned and a sensitive topic, but when you take the tax off the total before calculating the 15 percent tip to the penny, it's a little excessive."

"Was the ten extra minutes you just spent doing long division to split up the check perfectly really worth the dollar you just saved?"

The extend-a-fork

"I'm happy to let you have a bite of my scrumptious food - but ask before you reach. I don't want a puncture wound because an unexpected fork comes flying towards my plate."

"Sharing means equal parts. If eight oysters are served, that means four for you and four for me. NOT six for you and two for me."

Good golly, Miss Molly! These folks have divulged their dining dislikes, now it's your turn. Got a friend who’s a pain in the bum to eat with because of their over-the-top demands? The comment therapy lounge is now in session.

August 2010
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