A friend of ours dated a woman he started referring to as "Alligator Arms." They'd go out to fabulous meals, drinking and laughing and playing footsie under the table and generally having a lovely time.
Then the check would come. According to him, she'd suddenly duck out to the ladies' room or - at this point in the story, he'd draw his elbows next to his ribcage and make sad, flailing gestures - slightly lean toward her purse, but somehow not be able to reach it, assuming he'd swoop in.
He always did, and he actually wouldn't have let her pay if she'd offered, as he made approximately fifty beeellliiiiooon times more money than she did, but always hoped she'd offer.
Share your dating and paying war stories in the comments below and we'll share our favorites in an upcoming post.