Lunchtime poll – dating dealbreaker #1
July 1st, 2010
12:15 PM ET
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Today's poll – Are bad table manners ground for immediate dumping?

Turns out your server might hate you already!

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Filed under: Bite • Buzz • Dating • Lunchtime Poll • Restaurants

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soundoff (41 Responses)
  1. Artsy

    I made the mistake once of overlooking rudeness to a server. Six months later I found that the charm he directed towards me masked the cruelty he directed to the waitress. (He'd made the tequila girl drink the 3 tequilas he purchased.)

    August 4, 2010 at 2:27 pm |
  2. Kelly

    shut up stupid cunnnts. why would any guy even give 2 fuuuucks about what some stupid biiiitch thinks about his ordering habits. tell that stupid biiiitch to shut the fukkk up before you backhand her back to reality: Manhood101 . com

    August 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm |
  3. Amy Gilliam

    I *am* a server, so I have the deepest empathy and respect for my fellow sufferers in the service industry. Being rude to our server would absolutely not only not get a guy a second date, but it would also yield him a very firm talking to from me and an extra $5 tip for the server out of my pocket in apology for bringing a jerk to the restaurant with me.

    August 4, 2010 at 12:17 pm |
  4. Yikes

    That's a pretty good indication of how he or she is going to be treating you after they stop trying to make a good impression. That wouldn't be a deal breaker, but you'd definitely have to keep watch.

    July 19, 2010 at 1:36 pm |
  5. Kevin

    Amazing. What's all this about "people in subservient positions" and "the hired folks," when talking about waiters and waitresses. Do you think your jobs are somehow "better" than theirs? "Less subservient" perhaps? The measure of a person is that he/she HAS a job, and nobody's life work is "subservient." The street cleaner is just as good as the mayor. (By the way no, I'm not a waiter - I'm a banker).

    July 2, 2010 at 11:27 pm |
  6. Ari


    If a date mistreats the hired folks that can say little...You're next.


    In Honolulu

    July 2, 2010 at 5:54 pm |
  7. junebug

    A first date being rude to the waitstaff doesn't bode well at all. He's done.

    July 2, 2010 at 5:32 pm |
  8. popeye

    Who cares, its a free meal.

    July 2, 2010 at 5:00 pm |
  9. davec

    Be nice to the wait staff and tip properly.

    July 2, 2010 at 4:07 pm |
    • popeye

      tip properly. How do you tip a waiter who trips over his tongue talking to your date?

      July 2, 2010 at 5:05 pm |
  10. klyde frog

    id just warn her that with an attitude like that, she's gonna be having the spit sandwhich

    July 2, 2010 at 2:05 pm |
  11. Peter Live!

    Rude on a date? Bah!


    Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! The worst its ever been....a physician friend picked up a steak (yep, a STEAK) and gnawed on one of the fanciest restaurants in this lovely town.

    The waitress remonstrated with her (rather gently, I thought).....and a snarly hissy ensued. Dare I say, CATFIGHT?

    Take a guess. Did I marry or not?

    Yep. The waitress.

    July 2, 2010 at 1:17 pm |
    • popeye

      some like beef, some like cat.

      July 2, 2010 at 5:07 pm |
  12. Shamrock6

    I have been with girls that act like that on dates. They're done. I usually find a way to end it early and just bail on them. Rude chicks are horrible no matter how hot they are. What I've noticed too is that the hotter a girl is the more issues they have. That's why I don't even make eye contact with really hot girls. It's never worth it. Leave them for the guidos.

    July 2, 2010 at 12:05 pm |
  13. Vladimich

    It is possible they are having a bad day and misspoke, or it could be a sign of something else.

    I remember this one, she had just graduated her MBA and was on a power trip fore like 3-4. Growing up, this another person, had neo-nazi psychosis (for like 3 month), so he gave hard time to every-one that did not fit some definition of racial purity, some skin-heads ended up beating him up, because was not exactly white (that was so hilarious and amusing), we could not figure out if he was for real or clowning around.

    July 2, 2010 at 11:06 am |
  14. hhm

    Personally, I never treat anyone who handles my food in a subservient tone. I'm just saying....

    July 2, 2010 at 9:37 am |
  15. april

    People are rude to the wait staff because they're on a power trip. I will have nothing further to do with them. That goes for friends too. I once knew this woman who seemed to be a nice lady. Then we had lunch and she was incredibly rude to the waitress. I never spent time with her again. Not the kind of person I want for a friend.

    July 2, 2010 at 9:15 am |
  16. Marianne

    Years ago I would have said " dump him". Then I learned a different viewpoint.. Maybe the guy had a reall day. Maybe the guy is so nervous trying to impress this woman that he thinks he's showing strength by complaining. Maybe he was sorry after he did it . So now, I"d probably make a comment to him like, 'hey, take it easy on the guy- it was a minor mistake' and see how he reacts. THen I'd decide whether to give him another chance.

    July 2, 2010 at 7:49 am |
  17. Kevin

    How a person treats waitstaff is an indicator of how they treat all people in subservient positions (less power). That's you in divorce court, by the way.

    July 2, 2010 at 2:14 am |
    • RJ

      I agree!

      July 2, 2010 at 11:34 am |
    • popeye

      Dang right, bow before me.

      July 2, 2010 at 5:09 pm |
    • Emilie in Minneapolis

      Wish I'd known that at 27.

      August 4, 2010 at 5:38 pm |
  18. Hybrid

    Give him the "look". Then tell him how rude he was. Throw a drink in his face and then storm out.

    July 1, 2010 at 10:23 pm |
    • popeye

      Oh yeah, sounds like you walked into the date with an attitude, save us both drama and don't show up.

      July 2, 2010 at 5:04 pm |
  19. Jeff

    How a woman talks to a waiter/waitress is how she is going to be talking to you in 6 months.

    July 1, 2010 at 10:06 pm |
  20. Bugsy

    People who react that way are revealing a lack of basic class. I would tend to question my own choice in women. A bit of grace in those situations (assuming the waiters mistake was excusable) is very impressive to me... a point in her favor. Even if the waiters mistake were due to neglect of the table, the way it is handled says alot about a person. It's an artform to get the point accross without outright rudeness.

    July 1, 2010 at 5:54 pm |
  21. JC

    Everyone assumes it's the guy that's rude. I'm sorry, but if I were with the chick in the photo, I could care less what she said. In fact, I'd skip the meal and get right to dessert...if you know what I mean!

    July 1, 2010 at 5:50 pm |
    • byndpst

      you're a pig!

      July 2, 2010 at 3:27 pm |
      • popeye

        Why because this person wants to straight to desert? Go back to your Xbox.

        July 2, 2010 at 5:12 pm |
  22. Alan

    A judge of someone is how they treat people; if they are rude to people that they don't HAVE to be nice to, they have problems.

    July 1, 2010 at 5:26 pm |
    • popeye

      Some snotty waiters don't deserve to be nice to. That's why I fire the one giving me problems and demand a another. If not, bubbyai

      July 2, 2010 at 5:11 pm |
  23. MMC

    If he's rude to the waiter and it makes your heart confused, this is lesson number 1, Run! Get up and run don't walk no way, rule number 1 don't hesitate, your date is done, Run. Search David Wilcox – Rule Number 1.

    July 1, 2010 at 3:46 pm |
    • Cate

      Couldn't agree more!!

      July 1, 2010 at 5:32 pm |
      • popeye

        Please run, run as fast as you can because if you are so shallow to not want to understand the guy's point of view you deserve to eat icream in a blanket all alone.

        July 2, 2010 at 5:03 pm |
  24. JR

    He would be done. If he can ream someone over a minor mistake, that tells me that he's incredibly self centered and lacking empathy, wrapped way too tight and I don't want to contemplate spending a lifetime with someone who would end up pointing that in my direction or in the direction of our mythical children. I just see a future of misery.


    July 1, 2010 at 3:35 pm |
    • popeye

      I can see by your post you'd rather be the the center of attention.

      July 2, 2010 at 5:01 pm |
      • barista

        I can see by your repeated posts that you probably have a small weeny or something else that you are overcompensating for. Ha ha were probably dumped because of YOUR rude behavior in a restaurant.

        August 4, 2010 at 3:03 pm |
  25. katy Heys

    I lean towards dumping the guy but might hold back and take a good look. My thinking is that anyone who is capable of that kind of unncessary rudeness once, well he'll do it again if properly provoked. And presumably this guy is supposed to be on his best behavior on our first date? I think I've changed my mind while writing this. He's done.

    July 1, 2010 at 2:53 pm |
  26. JH

    Kindness costs nothing and people make mistakes all the time. If he talks to a stranger after a minor mistake, how will he talk to someone he knows and has a relationship with after one?

    July 1, 2010 at 2:42 pm |
    • Chris in New Mexico

      Exactly! I've yet to encounter any social situation of any kind where rudeness is an appropriate response. If there's a problem, there's a method to calling it the issue to someone's attention–it's called good manners. If a date is rude to someone, whatever the reason, then she's embarrassing not only the waiter, but herself and me. If this what she'll do in public, then I don't care to wait around to find out what she'll do in private. [Thanks should go to my Mom and Dad; the constant attention to teaching good manners while I was growing up has really served me very well.]

      July 1, 2010 at 3:39 pm |
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