Hey guys, we’re Eatocracy, and we’ll be your food blog today. Our special is annoying restaurant speak, served with a side of sexism, disappearing right when you need the check, verbal specials recitations and not writing down your order so it comes to you all wrong. And of course we won't tell you any of the prices.
We polled our friends and colleagues – including several former servers – about their restaurant pet peeves, then sat back and watched our inbox explode.
Here's what they had to say.
Take these phrases off the menu
“How are WE doing tonight? Do you know what WE’LL be having? Are WE still working on that?”
“'Are you still working on that?' Um … is there food left? Have I pushed it away or asked for a box?"
“'Did you save room for dessert?' Because, if you technically have any space left, let’s cram it in there! And to make sure my curmudgeon factor doesn’t get too high, I’ll note that servers tend to be wonderful human beings and a little earnest service buys a lot of goodwill from me."
Solo diners unite!
“I don’t need that pitying look from a waiter who asks, 'Is it just you honey?' Solo diners of the world unite and take over! Oh – and don’t get me started with where they place the check when you’re out with a male friend or significant other.”
“Why is it that every time I sit down to eat at a restaurant they wait forever for my date/friend/significant other to arrive and automatically assume I’m not eating solo by setting a second place and water down (how wasteful!). I eat out alone, and I’m proud!”
Should they stay or should they go?
“I can’t stand servers who come visit you every 4-5 minutes to check up on you, then are nowhere to be find when it's time for the check.”
“'How is everything?' before you’ve even taken a bite. Then, repeat that question every five minutes throughout the evening. If the chicken was fine at 7:35, odds are it’s still fine at 7:40. And surprise, I still like it at 7:45! There’s a fine line between being helpful and attentive and being disruptive or annoying.”
“Servers who fill up your water/soda/iced tea glass even when said glass is more than half-full.” (Editor’s note – we totally don’t mind this one bit!)
“When they hover over you – I always feel, especially in New York, that I’m being rushed so I’m eating super fast!”
“Definitely when the waiter comes over to take your order immediately after you sit down. If you ask for a few more minutes to look over the menu, it takes forever for them to come back. It’s like you get punished for needing a moment to think.”
They’ve got the write stuff - why don't they use it?
“Almost every time the waiter/waitress doesn’t write my order down, I say to my friends two minutes later, 'He/she’s gonna screw it up somehow.' And four out of five times, I am correct!”
“I’ve waited tables before and I know how difficult it is when you DO write down the order. So I can’t fathom when someone doesn’t. It’s a li’l bit arrogant.”
It’s a man’s, man’s, man’s world
“I hate it when they call me 'honey,' period. Especially when they’re younger than I am! I think that one’s mostly a southern thing, but when a 17-year-old waitress - it’s always the women who do this - asks me, 'What can I get for ya, hon?' I just want to look at her and be like “Um, really?”
“Just because I’m the chick does not mean I ordered the salad. Maybe my husband ordered that. I got the steak and baked potato. Don’t just assume and put the little plate in front of me, and definitely don’t act cute about it when I switch it around.”
“I really hate when I clean my plate in a restaurant and the server (especially if it's a male server) says something like, ‘Wow, I'm sorry you didn't like your food!’ If I want to eat everything on my plate, I'm going to do it!”
“They don't know if someone's got eating issues, ran a marathon, or just really loves the food. What – do they think it's more ladylike to leave a heap behind? UGH!"
“Why yes of course! ‘Ladies’ should order salads and only eat half of them! Oh and sip their vodka sodas! I'll take heavy beers with my burger and fries any day!”
Oh no, you didn’t
“A good server - or, hell, one who wants to be good - is a beautiful thing. It takes pretty open disdain to turn me to the dark side. Like the one recently who responded to my wife's query as to whether first course was coming after an hour wait with, ‘You ordered them, didn't you?’”
“The ONLY time I've ever complained in a restaurant because the service was SO horrible, my waiter said, "I'm sorry I didn't pay enough attention to you." And walked away! I was so mad!”
Whew!
These folks have had their say, so let's turn the tables. Servers, what customer behavior would you like to see get 86ed, and readers, we are still working on this. What should we add to the menu of complaints?
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I absolutely -hate- when I run another server's food and the customer complains immediately to me...
"I only wanted 1 piece of catfish! & my broccoli is supposed to be very soft!" (we only serve dinner portions sat & sunday & the man hadnt even tried his broccoli – which turned out to be perfect). Like I'm psychic.
Then tries running me to death lile I've magically become their new server & dont have anything better to do (lile take care of my -own- customers).
And the rare customer who actually wants to know what's going pn in my life & whether I'm a college student or not. For me, that's a painful story & not something I particularly like to talk about. No, I'm not going to make something up – I'm an honest person. But I also dont want to sound like Debbie Downer & drag down the mood of my guests & I certainly dont want a pity party.
For those of you nattering on about "rewarding" and "punishing" servers with tips, I'd like to remind you of something.
The IRS tax rules for waiters ASSUME that they always get at least 10% tip. Every time you don't tip at least 10%, you're stealing from the server. That's right. You're taking money out of their pocket. It doesn't matter if its cash or credit. The server will be forced to pay out the percentage at the end of the night. It is entirely possible, if a server gets no tips, that they would have to pay out more than they earned in their hourly wage for that shift (a measly 2.10 an hr).
So get off your high horse. You want real changes to how servers do their job? Lobby for a change in minimum wage rules for servers. They should get the same as everyone else. Take tips out of the equation.
How a server is compensated really isn't my concern, nor should it be...that's between the owner and the server. Sorry.
I'm going to have to agree with Renaldo on this one. Furthermore, I assume you understood the compensation when you took the job, right? And being familiar with society, understood that not everyone would tip well. There are plenty of minimum wage jobs that would pay you a predictable salary if that's what you want.
Personally, I prefer to tip based on service provided. If you drop the food in front of me and never return until it's time to pay, why should I give you 10% of what could potentially be an already expensive meal? On the other hand, if the service from the waiter is excellent, I will often tip way above the "recommended" amount.
hear, hear!
This article is just an invitation for people to whine about stupid stuff. It's pretty obvious from the responses who has had to wait tables or work a customer service job. I am thoroughly unimpressed with a lot of the posts here. What a load of self-important twits who are angry because people can't read their minds and instantly know all of their little preferences and pet peeves. Honestly, I think the best posts are from the current and former servers. To them, all I will say is this: thank you for doing a job that sucks. People are jerks and don't get how much punishment you take, including your diminished pay, for things you have little or no control over. The majority of people who have waited on me have done a fine job to outstanding. There have been a few that I'm sure competent servers would see as failures at their tasks, and those are the only times I tip adequately instead of well. Anyone who thinks they are justified in leaving *no* tip should work for free for a while and see what it's like. No, I'm not a server, just someone who understands what it's like to deal with arrogant self-important customers.
Sorry, a tip is just that, a gratuity, a reward for good service. If you do a lousy job, you are not getting a good tip. (I never leave no tip, I'll leave change so they realize it's intentional and we didn't forget).
That said, you have to really be AWFUL at your job to do so. I'm totally understanding of it being busy and EVERYONE is waiting for their food, no big deal, it happens. Sometimes the server gets the order right and the kitchen mucks it up. Again, not the server's fault. But if I run into someone that clearly just doesn't value my business (ie, they have been ignoring me for 20 minutes when I need another soda while chatting to their friends at the bar), then I'm most certainly not tipping well.
This article reminds me of one posted on CNN a few years back when some elitist food critic harangued servers for things such as recommending the week's special or promoting a new dish. I worked as a waitress for eight years in a few different venues, including a college bar, a local dinner, and a corporate chain; the unifying factor of all of these restaurants is that the servers do what is expected of them. I don't always want to offer you this drink or that meal, but my bosses have made it abundantly clear that if I don't I will not be meeting company expectations. Similarly, I am instructed to stop by your table at regular intervals and to make sure that your drink is never empty. If you don't enjoy that particular corporate policy, please feel free to dine elsewhere. Some servers do have a better sense of timing than others and I, when dining out, tip accordingly to how well they balance between being helpful and being annoying. When I say 'tip accordingly', however, I NEVER mean that I start mentally docking their tip by counting every perceived injustice– no, instead, I accord terrible service 10-15%, perfectly acceptable service 20%, and anything above that I tip appropriately. Some servers are phenomenal and earn every penny. Yes, asking questions such as whether you're "still working on that," or "what are WE having tonight" sound flippant and unintelligent, but please, for goodness sake, stop being so easily offended– if these things really push your buttons, clearly you've never worked in a job where you get blamed for your AND every other staff members' mistakes to the person holding your effective paycheck ('cause baby, $2.83/hour ain't much!).
As a server, I completely agree with you, Valerie. I have been serving for 5 years now, partly as a banquet server and now as a restaurant server. I generally enjoy my job and try to make every table I have feel like they are being taken care of, yet I still have tables that absolutely infuriate me and make me wonder if there is something about me that comes off badly or they have just been living in a fallout shelter for the past fifty years. I don't understand how a table can be SO NEEDY... to the point that they jeopardize my time and keep me from my other tables... and then leave me 10 percent or less.
I feel like I'm pretty self-critical when it comes to the service I give when I'm doing my job. I try to think of it as, "Is this the service that I would be happy with if I were the customer?" And when I can say to myself honestly that I gave a table great service and they leave me next to nothing, it is very hard not to take it personally.
Also, when I go out to eat, I like to observe my server to see how big of a section they are handling, and how busy they are. Please, if you see me going from table to table to table and running around, PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK!
Bad Service
– no refills (no such thing as to many refills)
– don't inform me of extra charges "Can I have some salsa" "sure" later – wtF is this 2.50 salsa charge?
- excuses. "kitchen is slammed" or "we are short x" you know what – I don't care. If your restaurant cared, they could of optimized a little more effectively.
"your restaurant..." yes, as a waitress I assure you that I had some say in which kitchen staff were cut and when. I also determined whether there would be an unexpected rush, and I can definitively tell you that I planned to have the local Little League show up unannounced with a party of 25 half an hour ago. While I agree with you, sir, that as a customer you deserve the best possible service whenever you eat out regardless of the situation of the restaurant, I would hope that you understand that under-tipping your server for said reasons is like yelling at a customer service representative. We don't make the policy, we just have to constantly apologize for the collateral damage. Some servers are actually terrible and I promise, they will quit sooner rather than later because no one will tip them well, as is appropriate. For the others, though, sometimes they just want to explain to you why your service that night might not be ideal, but to please not fault *their* attempt at good service given the situation at hand.
Sauce is what comes on your meal, dressing comes on the Salad. Identify the bread as what it is, not everything is a roll (this might be just in the South). If you can't pronounce something on the menu, go ahead and give it a try, it gives us servers a refreshing laugh. Don't say "bless your heart." Don't tell the server his/her tip depends on something, give me a break you wannabe elitist.
Went to a Jungle Jim's a while ago and our server came over and sat down at our table to take our order. I'm thinking, what the hell do you think you're doing, get the hell up from our table and take our order.The assumed familiarity really ticked me off. The guy was our server, not a good friend we hadn't seen for years. I can do without that annoying crap.
Most of this forum is giving customers a bad taste in their mouths about servers and I just want to clarify a few things. I've been waiting tables for the past 10 years and I now do it as my 2nd job, not that I have to, but because I want to. When I put on my uniform and strap on my apron, I am excited to go into work. Not only am I working with people I consider to be my friends, but I'm waiting on great people who actually come back to see ME. I take pride in making my guests happy and have a great feeling if they leave with full tummy's and smiles on their faces. The matter of tipping seems to be a huge issue on here and it is! I feel that, if you get crappy service, then tip accordingly. I understand if you feel that leaving 10-15% seems sufficient to you because of whatever reason, that's okay. Because for every one of your 10-15% tips, I'm getting 20% or higher from someone else. You win some, you lose some and that's all a part of life. All of this "they should make your pay minimum wage and cut out tipping" would only make finding good help impossible and your dining experience go even further down the tube. Yes, it's not a hard job, but we put up with a lot. Don't believe that all servers hate their jobs and hate people. Some of us actually take pleasure in making your experience memorable.
I hate it when I have ppl who appear to have never eaten their dinner at a table before, I find it's especially true for large parties or buy out guests. But if you put your fork and knife together flat across your plate and your food it is the international symbol for i'm done. When you do this silent symbol I will pick up your plate and clear it out of your way thats my job. So it drives me insane when you get huffy when i've got your plate, you signaled was done, and treat me like some kind of moron who can't do her job. You've got a table use if for you cutlery and I won't touch your plate. If you've truly never eaten at a table before and don't know what else to do with your fork and knife i'm sorry for cursing you out in the kitchen.
What are you saying here? It doesn't make an sense.
In the United States; it is our culture that engineered the food service business to rely on gratuity as payment for the serving staff. Do not agree? Well, then f**k off commie!
So, with only five weeks and two days left in my serving "career" I will graduate from college with a degree and a job waiting for me. All of you [on here] that have self righteous delusions of whether or not you will tip; I hope this next comment hits home (one of my patients said this to a co-worker of mine in front of me... yes, I said "patients" my degree is within health care and that is all I'm going to say about that).
"I don't think you understand how horrible you are"
This was after an exam, and at first; I chuckled in my head. Then, I thought about it.
You do the same, and leave a tip jack ass.
Now, here is my verbal tip to you: servers are everywhere in every profession in every city, I hate serving, but it taught me so much about the world and about cultures, and in a small way; about myself. So, f**k you all, here are my middle fingers, I'm out...
"well that's not the way a health care worker should talk!' Yeah well, we do. From clinical techs to MD's; when you're pissed off, you're pissed off; education can't hold back that reaction.
You need to grow up.
I didn't know there were so many tools out there. Yikes! I truly wasn't aware of these issues with dining out. I've never been a server, but it looks like a lot of work, and in any case, it is important to be polite and respectful of those waiting on you. I've been out with people who are all the sudden really weird when ordering – like they are in charge for once....whoopty dooo!
my pet peeve: the server coming up to the table and constantly calling us "guys". Are you guys ready to order? What beverage can I bring you guys? For every time we hear "guys", the tip gets knocked down.
Oh, Kathleen. It's people like you that make people like me despise waiting on the general public. Has it ever occured to you that maybe that server does not realize you are so offended by being called "guys" . Really, its just a little four-letter word that the young man or woman has to use a million times a day with cranky people who think the word server and servant are interchangeable. Well maybe that tip you are witholding is the difference in whether or not that server will be able to make rent or his/her child's daycare payment so they can show up to their demeaning job. Just be glad the only four-letter word you are hearing is "guys", because I'm sure the server could think up some better ones when dealing with you.
springs1-
I'm going to pre-empt one of your forth coming insults here and say obviously that "second of all" at the end was mistakenly put there instead of at the beginning of my second paragraph. I apologize!
In my mind, 15% is the required base amount for any tip, with most being well above that unless the service was piss poor. It seems like many people feel the need to tip below that amount, which surprises and disheartens me.
I'm also surprised by how many people seem to feel that they can take tip credit away from a server for doing things that is either required of them by management, or that is something that only you in your opinion find negative. Servers can assist you to the best of their abilities, but they are not mind readers and should not be jeopardized for that.
If it takes 20 minutes after you've finished your meal to get the check, a tip reduction may be understandable. If their is an aspect of their personality that bothers you, give them a break. Being a server is not easy, and anyone who believes it is has never been one.
I consider myself a good tipper. I gernally tip 20% unless the service is really poor and 25% if I think the sever did a good job. My parent's always told me "If you don't have money to tip, you don't have money to eat out!" But something that really bothers me is that don't get as good of service (as say, I'm out with my parent's or an older crowd) because I'm young. I'm 23 years old but definetely notice that I am not paid as wel attention to as others. So this cycle perpetuates. Waiters/waitresses don't give me as good as service because they don't think I will tip. Then I don't WANT to give a good tiip because I didn't get good servicce. I just think all waiters/waitresses should come to a customer expecting good things/giving good service. We customers just might surprise you :)
I've been to a restaurant where the tables were elevated on a higher step up thing. It made things alot easier and just fine when the server didnt sit down or squat. Why not do that?
I'm usually not bothered by the service I receive, however a few years back, I went off on lunch break with a couple girlfriends from work and we went to a pricey restaurant. Our waitress came up and gave us waters and then completely disappeared. We hadn't even ordered our drinks, yet we had sat there for an hour (mind you, the place was not crowded at all). So, we got up to leave, since our lunch break was nearly over, and the waitress actually had the nerve to chase us to the front of the restaurant and say, "What? No tip?" Needless to say, I no longer go to that restaurant.
As a server, please, please consider that I might also have sickness in my family but that i am not here, with you, to impart that on you. And please, please dont tell me that you are only eating out, where i work, because your mother is dying and your cat is dead and your neighbor just keeled over with a heart attack. Get a therapist. I am not qualified to make things better for you, but I can surely give you good service while you are here.
my BIGGEST PET PEEVE the waiter or waitress will ask you every time how is your food when your mouth is full...........drives me crazy i think they do it for fun..jeezz
My favorite thing about serving is when a customer tells me I did excellent and then they tip me 10% or less! if you are going to make a comment like that it is implying that im going to get a 20% tip do it.
@ patty: obviously your have problems and have never seen the movie Waiting. It is very realistic and don't expect good service anytime you go out to eat cause an experienced server can tell from when you are greeted at the table that youre going to be a problem and you will get "garlic salt" on your steak. Working at a restaurant is way more fun and fulfilling because you are actually "earning" your pay and is a direct reflection on your ability.
The thing I HATE is when a server takes the check (when I pay with cash) and says "do you need change back?" It is offensive to me, like they are soliticiting a tip. The proper thing to say when picking up the check is "I'll be right back with your change." If the guest indicates that's not necessary then the waiter is off the hook and can save a trip back to the table. Also a pet peeve is when I show up to be seated and either the host or the waiter comments "just one today?" geez. Just SEAT ME please when I say "one for dinner".
On the flip side, I was a waitress for years in high school and a young adult in all kinds of environments from casual to high end dining so I am a "former" who tips well, and in cash. Folks, if you're reading this–it's a great idea even if you pay the bill by credit card to make an effort to leave tips for waitstaff in cash when possible. They have a tough time (and play to a tough crowd) as you can see. Many of them also have to "tip out" others in the restaurant like the bartender and busers so that makes a dent in what they net overall. It's good to remember that we would definitely be paying more for these meals if companies were paying them a living wage, which they are not.
I think this compliation of "pet peeves" about the worst thing that I have ever seen. Overall, people have different expectations of service. Personally, I hate it when servers try to sell me things – I'm not interested in the drink specials. I have a friend who considers hearing the specials as part of the experience and will tip less if a server doesn't give him that information. I've had table who literally want to eat every last crumb off their plate, but sitting in front of an empty plate, is not only gross, but also takes up room at the table. So if a guest appears to be done with their food, I will ask if I can take the plate.
In the end – you can't make everyone happy.
I find this post very arrogant. I was extremely offended.
To add my two cents in.... I believe every man and woman should work Retail at least 6 months in their lives, preferably during the holidays, and also should have to wait tables for 6 months. This should give you a greater perspective from both sides. No, in customer service, you can't be all things to all people. Just as we are supposed to leave our baggage at the door when we come to work, you should leave yours in the car, try to chill out, enjoy the meal and interaction with people. My husband & I both are very service oriented, and probably harder on staffers when we go out to eat, since we're in the custmoer service industry. But we voice our opinions, COMMUNICATE with our waiter, and try to enjoy an evening out.
Treat people like human beings, and you'd be surprised at their reactions. As a customer, you may have just gotten a traffic ticket before you came in, and are totally pissed, therefore taking it out on your server. Well you know, your servcer may have lost their Grandfather that day, but had to come into work greiving to make sure they pay the rent that month, or pay for childcare so they can go to school. You never know what someone is going through. If we try to treat more people like human beings, they might eventually turn into them.
On the issue of "do you want change back"...When I was a waitress, I would just say "I'll be right back with your change." That leaves it up to the diner to suggest that I kept the change or to wait for their change. No assumptions being made on my part that whatever was in the folder was mine to keep. I agree that I significantly lower a tip based on the "do you want change" question. I find it presumptious and rude.
I think that "do you want change?" may be a regional thing. I waited tables for years in MIchigan, and never heard (or dreamed of saying) anything other than "I'll be right back with your change". After moving to Utah, I was completely taken aback by being asked if I wanted my change, and was looked at like I was growing a second head when I said that I'd be right back with it.
tell these low level food fetchers to get the food and stfu.. these slugs and leeches of society don't have the intelligence or the drive to get real jobs so they cry like little girls about not getting tips. here's a tip: get a real job you effing losers.
Patty,
You are clearly an ignorant individual, with the lack of a basic education. For that I am sorry. Furthermore, based on your ignorance, it is a safe bet that you make less money at your "job" than the average server does. With that being said... Here's a tip; if you hold down the shift key, it will capitalize the next letter you type.
And out of pity for your white trash upbringing, here is another tip... Go F*** yourself.
Cheers.
I have been in the service industry for sometime, and while I have sat down with many of my guest I usually have received an invitation to do so. Yes most of them are repeat guest and usually ask for my service there are times I may sit with an unfamiliar table. How ever I am perfectly capable of reading them and knowing if they will be offended or welcome this action. If your server sits down and you don't like it polietly tell them so. I'm sure they won't be offended so long as your not a jerk about it, and you can enjoy your meal and a pleasent dining experience.
Sorry, but if you're my waiter/waitress I don't want you sitting with me or crouching down at my table. I also want you to write the meal down on a piece of paper. I tend to be forgiving with the crouching thing in loud restaurants, but if it's quiet–no. And, my experience has been most of the time when someone sits with me they always screw up my order. I'm always nice because is it a crappy job and the pay is horrible and I realize that for some it's the best they can do right now while they're in school/whatever.
However, it does no one any good for you to be sour, surly and threaten to spit into our food. It's no wonder that so many people refuse to tip (which I think is silly anyway, raise your wages and be done with it restaurants!) because they read mess like this online and automatically go in with the expectation that they're going to be made fun of, talked about, or have their meals ruined by a server who thinks they're too good for the job they willingly took.
Neither side is correct in this argument, the public is a disgusting pool of goo that the occasional nice person escapes from (I work with the public too) and the wait staff many times are thorny, ill-mannered, underpaid, products of that nasty public goo.
YOu've actually been somewhere that has made the threat to spit in someones food?
Jo, no certainly not. But from the discourse here and on the follow-up article it's seems to be a well-known secret that if you say anything inappropriate or do something not-so-nice the waiter will do something nasty to your food. Then again, I'm paranoid about that sort of thing so I'm always nice to the wait staff-maybe to my own fault.
I too agree with JZimmer, I hate 'how you guys doing?' I am not a guy!
I just started serving so therefore I have just completed my server training. I would like to point out that where I work it is considered impoliet to sit or kneel by the customers (not that as a diner I would mind). Also we are told to ask if "they saved any room for desert" as a way of seeing if they are ready for their check because it is "rude" to say "are you ready for your check". Seems like to me everyone needs to lighten up a bit and not be so offended by every little thing that is done. If your server is pleasant and trying hard but may be doing something that "gets on your nerves" chances are they are just doing what their management is asking of them. As for poor, rude, sloppy or innacurate service, that is something you take up with the server.
My #1 peeve: the use of the phrase "you guys".
I can't stand it when places "auction" the food. Who had the chicken? And the lamb? There's an easy way around this and it isn't a state secret.
Also, for the love of all things sanitary, keep your thumbs away from my food. Use a tray if you cannot balance from the bottom.
Forgot another one...note the portion sizes? A man will get a larger steak for the same price. The woman will get the smaller steak.
A bartender also told me it was standard practice where he worked to give the woman more liquor in her mixed drinks...as a "favor" to her date. Implications of this should be obvious. I hope they rot in a hot place.
Not every woman wants diet soda. My husband orders a coke, and they say okay. I order a coke...and they immediately ask if I want diet. (I am nowhere near overweight, by the way). They don't offer HIM Diet Coke!
I hate the kneeling down and bending over to talk thing. it is NOT "non-intimidating" and "more folksy"....it's infantile, as if they are talking to a child. I also don't like the suggestive selling. "hello, would you like to try a today..."
I also had a waiter openly sneer when I ordered soda instead of wine at a high-end restaurant. Hey....some people's religious beliefs do not allow alcohol, and am I not the one who is paying??? It is not a privilege for me to give someone else my money.
On the flip side...I've waited tables, and hate the ones who give you poop just because they can. They know you have to take it in order to keep your job. They sit there grinning, so you know they're doing it on purpose...some have the audacity to laugh and claim "we're just having some fun with you." No, if that were true, I'd be having fun, too. I'm not. You're having fun at my expense.
The easy thing to see here is that the people that are complaining and looking for excuses to leave poor or no tips, are disagreeing with each other over what constitutes good service. I don't care who you are, if you never worked in this business, you have very little idea what good service even is. If you go into a bar that's 4 deep and I even look up to take your order, you better be kind and generous. I have 25 to 35 things that need to be done RIGHT NOW, and if you cop an attitude, waste my time over stupid questions and stiff me...well, I have better things to do. I'm not going to give you stellar service and then have you leave so little for it that I end up reaching into my pocket and paying money for trying to serve you. That's just ignorant, and yes, I wish you would stay home. You're wasting my time and space, and costing me money. And I'm damn good at what i do. And if you're having problems finding people that have any talent for this work, it's because of people like you. demanding, cheap, ignorant, and uncivilized. You're driving talented peole out of the industry.
Just wanted to let customers know that besides tipping the hostess, bussers and bartenders based on my sales ( not my tips) I also pay for the credit card transactions. Every time I swipe your visa, mc or amex the state of Maryland allows restaurants to charge the server for that transaction. I've worked shifts when this is over $2. I know that might not seem like a lot to bit*h about but do the math $ 2 x 3 shifts a week x 48 weeks and well you can see why people who leave nothing are going to a special place in.....
Never, ever, ever put your napkin on your plate. That's crass, crude, and frankly a bit disgusting. When finished eating, lay your fork and knife diagonally across your plate. Place your knife and fork side by side, with the sharp side of the knife blade facing inward and the fork, tines down, to the left of the knife. The knife and fork should be placed as if they are pointing to the numbers 10 and 4 on a clock face.
When finished with your meal, the napkin can be placed partly folded to the left of your plate. Even a paper napkin shouldn't be crumpled and tossed into your dish.
These are the "universally accepted" signals. Not those hillbilly mistakes noted by so-called "professional server".
It sucks that we have to ask you if you're finished with your plate. It would make our jobs incredibly easier if more people understood basic dining ettiquitte.
If you're finished with your meal, either of three universally accepted signals will be read by your server - push it to the side, place your napkin over it, or cross your fork and knife over the center of the plate. You'd be surprised how many people DON'T know to do this.
It is true that some servers are pushy and want to turn and burn that table. But it's also true that sometimes we just can't tell if you're finished. It looks like you're done, but you've given us no signal, so we have to ask. Most of the times I find myself in this situation, the person is done, and they just didn't know how to signal me.
Dave Berry said it best: If a person is nice to you but rude to your waiter, then he's not a nice person.
Two cents worthfrom one who has worked from busboy to manager and worked in the service industry for most of his life.
- Servers: do your job and do it well. Write the order down. Do what the managers ask. Don't always blame someone else. Maybe your bad tips are due to a bad attitude. There are plenty of nice people that come in to eat, so don't let the few idiots that come in with a god-complex to ruin it for the rest of your tables. If someone doesn't tip or treats you like crap, yes that sucks, but get over it. If it upsets you for a long time, then they win. They come in asses, eat like asses, and live like asses. (One time a woman accused Winston Churchill of being a miserable drunk. His reply was, "I may be a drunk, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.) Don't stoop to their level and let them win by stewing in their negativity. I was a very successful server because I brushed off the people who treated me poorly (once they walked out the door). Go above and beyond for the ignorant and maybe you'll educate them a little bit and teach them some humility in the process.
- Customers: If there is something that you truly dislike about a restaurant, go somewhere else. We require servers to push items, kneel at tables (never sit with them!!), and check back with you to make sure everything is ok. Don't treat my staff poorly because they wear nametags and an apron and then act like everything is just fine when the manager comes over to check on you. Working in a restaurant does not mean that one is too incompetent, stupid, or lazy to "get a real job." If we all went out and "got real jobs," you'd be stuck cooking your own food every day. Yes, getting your food messed up is aggravating; I get aggravated when servers don't do the most basic job requirement and write the order down. But, don't forget that there are a lot of other people that your order goes through also. If the steak is undercooked, don't piss on the server. They didn't cook it. They didn't plate it.
To the great servers out there, keep it up!! We rely on you more than you think! To the fantastic customers, thanks so much for the patience and generosity that you exhibit even when things go wrong. To the Debbie Downers and God-Complexes (servers and customers alike), this ball of dirt has over 6 billion people on it and you're just one of them. Never pretend to know exactly what's going on. Maybe your server isn't having the best day because she's having to work to pay the bill for the DNC that she just had because she miscarried. Servers, maybe the table isn't sociable because they're coming from a funeral. (Both of these situations happened in my restaurant in the last 3 weeks). Just be mindful and treat people well.
xxJCxx
"If the steak is undercooked, don't piss on the server. They didn't cook it. They didn't plate it."
They could have pressed the wrong button or wrote the order wrong if it's a written ticket, so there could be a possible reason to be pissed at the server. Also, common sense would come into play just by LOOKING at the steak if it was from one extreme to another such as medium rare vs. well done, that if your server brings out your food, they could have caught that BEFORE they brought it to you.
"But, don't forget that there are a lot of other people that your order goes through also."
If the same server that took the order brings out the food, it doesn’t matter unless it is something the server cannot see unless they TOUCH the food to notice the mistake.
In most cases, the steak situation wouldn't be the server's fault, but not all the time is my point. Usually a server has to CUT into a steak to know if it's cooked correctly or not, but your server can put in the order wrong to begin with is all I am saying.
"We require servers to push items"
Push them BEFORE I order then, unless it is something to add to my order. Don't CHANGE my order once I have said what I wanted. That is rude, when you could do that BEFORE I order, which then it isn't considered rude since it is required and you aren't trying to change the customer's mind since they haven't ordered yet.
If you or anyone you know has ever worked with the public, you know very well that there is no pleasing everyone. There are people who walk into a place ready to be rude just because they think it’s going to make them feel better to treat someone poorly. In “casual” restaurants you had better expect casual treatment. That is why it doesn’t cost 150 dollars per plate although the food is equal to fine dinning. It may surprise people to know that I have never been a server so understand that my opinion is based from the customer’s point of view. I have watched customers scream at their wait person over something as simple as gravy touching their broccoli. I personally do not care if the server writes down my order, I only care that it comes to me as I ordered it. I do not care if my server “offers” upgrades. It’s their job; it has no effect on what I will choose to do at the end of my order. I do not care if the teenage server calls me sweetie or Hun, they are trying to make money and they will try new things to see if it works. In the end, politeness goes a long way. If you have a shred of personality when speaking to people, they will treat you with respect. This is the real world; it doesn’t become utopia inside those doors of your favorite casual restaurant. Things happen, food gets burned, people say the wrong thing, orders get mixed up, and people forget things. Deal. I promise you one thing, if you accept these facts and try a little harder to be nicer to your server you too will enjoy a better evening out. If your server is actually rude, ask for another server and make sure it wasn’t you who instigated the rude comment.
So... after reading all of these comments and throwing words back at some idiots here...
I worked last night in my restaurant and encountered some wonderful guests and some really fucking ignorant assholes.
All while I was thinking about what some people wrote here.
I gave incredibly attentive service, completely efficient, and not overly friendly. No one was without what they needed.
I did not sit down or for that matter kneel down to any table.
I did not ask if anyone needed change. In fact someone left me $4.00 IN change as part of my $30 tip. Why? I don't know. Quarters are good for parking meters and laundry. (I own a parking space and own my own home with a washer & dryer in the laundry room... go figure)
I did not automatically refill someone's drink, charge them for it and not mention that it wasn't free.
I did not flirt with any of my customers whatsoever. Even if they were cute.
I did not rattle off specials after someone read the menu and decided what they wanted, while my guests were thinking that it would be better if the restaurant printed out the specials.
I made well over 25% and guess what, in addition to the genuinely gracious diners I waited on, I still had a bunch of ignorant idiots who have no manners and who do not know how to dine in public.
In all, I thought about the ridiculous rants that people went on here and realized that you can NEVER please everyone and there's always someone who is going to complain no matter what.
Even if the service is pin point perfect, the food is perfect, the beverages are all the right temperature... someone is going to be unhappy.
Their unhappiness starts within themselves, not outside themselves and definitely not because of their server.
Wait on someone in a good mood, most likely they are going to recall their dining experience as pleasant.
Wait on someone in a bad mood and most likely they are going to recall their dining experience as horrible, unjust and not worth tipping.
Please people. Look within yourself and see that nothing outside you can make you happy. Especially service in a restaurant. If you're a genuinely aware individual who is internally content, you'd have good service where ever you go, and even when you do encounter bad service, you'll be able to look beyond the individual serving you and realize that it's due to several factors and not just that you're being slighted and you're being treated poorly. Seriously.
You can reply with nastiness and contempt, tell me I should be fired and shouldn't work in this industry, but what it comes down to is this...
I'm not going to get fired because I'm not insubordinate ever. I'm a professional. I'm not going to quit this industry because I made it my living, I love it and I love the restaurant I work at.
I make more money in one night than some people make in a whole week.
I love people (even the entitled, ignorant, rude and extremely unaware ones).
No matter what anyone writes about this work, you'll never understand it until you do it for a living, love it and see beyond the strange ugly surface of the service industry.
If you can realize that what you're doing by waiting tables is not only making a ton of money but learning how to be a better human being by studying the presence and lack of the awareness levels of others, their capacity for politeness and complete ignorance, their gracious behavior and lack of manners, but mostly their thankfulness and ungratefulness for being served by another human. A stranger no less.
That's what I get out of the service industry. If all you get is bad service and you complain about it, then you're only getting half the lesson.
Mr. V, Your Friendly Server-
WELL SAID! More people should realize that nothing is going to make them happy until they are happy with themselves!
I hate it when I pay cash and the server asks "Will you be needing change?" The old assumptive close was never meant to be used on tips. I tip generously, but I also want to determine that amount myself.
Pet peeve – Remove the word NEED from your vocabulary. I don't NEED more time, but sometimes I would like more time. I don't NEED more breadsticks, after all do I look like I'm from a refugee camp, but I would like more breadsticks. Asking what I would like feels like I am being served, asking what I NEED feels like I'm being tolerated.
As a former server, I have to say that I found many of these comments and pet peeves as petty. Servers are aimed at providing you with the best service available. They learn over the years the average eating habits of their customers and strive to make your dining experience the best possible. I know for a fact that many individuals get upset when you have to ask them which plate is theirs. The majority of women do order salads, thus we do what is dominent. Don't get mad because the rest of the population acts one way.
As for asking about your meal, we balance many tables and many tasks during the day. When we come to your table, most likely we know that we're about to be swamped thus we want to check. Maybe there's mayo on your burger that you did not want and before you eat you need a different bun. Perhaps something does not look right. Just because the server is trying to be attentive and helpful does not constitute rude attitude.
Furthermore, I am pretty sure that using the terms "you all" would pull even more rude comments out of this audience than using "we". Before you start to complain, put yourself in the servers' shoes. We have many customers that we have to handle, some are more rude than others, but the key point is that we do our best. Go to a local restaurant and server for about a month and you will see many of your complaints disappear.
Peeves by definition are annoyances. If you believe they are also "petty" then you believe they are of no importance. Clearly, these annoyances ARE important to the posters, and therefore ought to be important to be the people who depend on satisfying customers. Tossing off the peeves as petty does not alter the fact that customers are peeved and it does the restuarant and its staff no good to ignore them.
Diners are dumb, and they don't know what they want or how a server ought to do his/her job. A few comments:
I avoid "we" because I think it's kind of lame, but if you really have a problem with your server saying "we," then you're just a jerk. Nobody should be concerned about something so trivial. Also asking if you're done. Grow up, it's our job to clear your plate as soon as you're finished with it. For every diner who is angry when you ask if their food is done, there are FIVE who get angry because they've been finished several minutes and their food is still there. Stop caring about trivial details that do not change the quality of your service. If your server is trying to make your experience pleasurable, just answer the question and say you aren't done with your plate yet. And who cares how your server asks whether you want dessert? I never ask "did you save any room" or anything, I just ask if you'd like coffee or dessert. But still, just answer the bleeping question and don't fault the waiter for "saying it wrong."
Verbal specials lists are the ONLY way to deliver a specials list. Reciting prices for the specials list is tacky. If you don't want a verbal specials list, and you want to know the price of every item, eat at a little snack shack where they write the specials on a chalk board and the prices are up there too – six fifty.
If you're eating alone, the staff have to KNOW that. If you don't want people asking questions, then just TELL THE HOSTESS "table for one" and you have solved your own problem. If you don't like to be asked, then don't make people ask. If you don't like it when your server guesses wrong, then don't make your server guess.
For every customer who is upset off about hovering, there's another who's upset that you aren't there when they need something. Maybe your server asks how you're doing too often, but maybe your server is new, or incredibly busy, and just trying to make sure you're served. As far as "no where when you need the check," you aren't the only table in the restaurant. Your server is probably answering questions about the menu for another table, or uncorking a bottle of wine, or taking orders. You wouldn't want your server to suddenly drop everything in the middle of your service to go bring another table their check, would you? So shut up and let the other diners have a good experience too.
Not writing orders down – no excuse. Servers who don't write down orders are infuriating, especially if they're working with me because they ruin the shift for everyone else, the kitchen gets behind etc. Plus, there's no way for me to make sure other waiters' customers are happy, meaning I depend on my coworkers not to ruin all our chances at getting repeat customers.
Depends on the restaurant and the server. Some just have a great vibe and make you feel like you're a friend and that you're welcome. To me, a restaurant is more than just the food, it's the environment, staff, cleanliness, etc. Some places don't invite friendliness, and I'd rather not go back to them. Of course to me, eating out is fun, so I expect to enjoy myself. If the wait-person is haughty and arrogant, it can ruin the whole experience.
Take my order, cook it well, serve it to me hot and keep my drink filled. Other than that, everything is just window dressing and you will never be able to please everyone. If you really get aggravated over them putting the salad in front of you and the steak in front of your husband, who cares.
"you will never be able to please everyone."
I feel you can most of the time, because the server needs to ask questions or if you as a customer don't like bunches of questions, YOU SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT!!
A good example, if you love refills without being bothered by your server, ASK YOUR SERVER when they greet you "Can I get my refills automatically without being asked throughout my service please?" Since stupid customers don't want to ASK for what they want, servers should be asking "Would you all like refills without being asked throughout y'all's service?" This way, you please ALL, not just some. If the customer hates questions, blame them for not speaking up first. Your server can't read minds and most servers don't risk wasting time by giving refills without being asked or asking. YOU as a customer are responsible for doing your own ordering if you want not to be bothered with questions in your service about refills. I shouldn't have to assume my server will assume by telling them I don't want that when it's common sense, the CUSTOMER is the only person that gets to order, NOT the server!! We get menus for a reason and it's not so our servers can decide for us. We tip for a reason and that is so WE can get what WE want in our service.
Speak up about the check if you never order dessert by asking for it WHEN YOU ORDER YOUR ENTRÉES!! One lady on a forum complains she'd rather add to her check than to wait forever for her check, but I say I feel I think it is rude to decide for me it's time to go. Since she doesn't want dessert or doesn't mind adding to her check, she should ask for the check to get it BEFORE her ENTRÉES COME OUT EVEN!
You aren't pleased, then look at what you COULD do to please your service, because sometimes there are things to please your service that you have control over.
Ask questions if you are a server, because not everyone wants the same things and unless the CUSTOMER speaks up for THEMSELVES, you aren't a mind reader.
You kind of remind me of someone who used to post fairly regularly to the bitterwaitress discussion forum. It was several years ago and I can't quite remember her username there, but there are a lot of similarities. The random use of all caps for emphasis, the completely unreasonable expectations of serving staff, the impression you give that you go out to restaurants mainly to critique the staff and not to enjoy the food (despite predictable protestations to the contary).
I'd bet cash money you're the same person.
drjimmy, Yes. it's one and the same. SPRINGS1, AKA LORDS. In all of her grossly undermedicated glory.
1. Servers that don't try their VERY BEST to get the order right, which this is the biggest pet peeve I have, which mostly dealing with CONDIMENTS. You ask for any condiments, 9 times out of 10, you won't get it with your food. Either your server doesn't compare the written order to the food or another server doesn't compare the ticket with the food(assuming the ticket is right of course) if they bring out the food. Also, most servers don't offer to bring the condiments ahead of time to AVOID FORGETTING THEM as they should if they CARED!! I order a side of ranch even, 80% of the time, it is forgotten. It's not really forgotten, it's that the servers or another server doesn't take ANY EFFORT into getting it correct to your table. It's not just bringing it to the table. It is getting it OBVIOUSLY RIGHT to the table that counts towards the tip.
2. Servers that don't write your order down or if you ask them to, they are like "I guess I will write it down" or decide not to write it down at all, then 99% of the times, get things wrong when they don't write it down.
3. Servers that don't apologize when they mess up.
4. Servers that want to blame their mistake on someone else when it's their mistake.
5. Servers that ASSUME every single thing instead of asking you such as it's check time just because you ask for a box. Not all the time. My husband and I have sometimes made room for dessert. We boxed the leftovers for another meal. No assuming should be done, because there's a chance you can be wrong.
6. Servers that are rude. Once had a Red Lobster waitress had 2 side salads on a tray as well as our 2 entrées(which we waited around 45-50 minutes for), well instead of handing ours first since we did order first(common sense cooked food was ordered first as well as the servers make the side salads at Red Lobster the manager had told us), she hands the other couple their side salads off the tray first. My jaw almost dropped. Those people weren't even there when we placed our entrée orders. While you see it as "SECONDS", I see it as the PRINCIPLE of it that WE ORDERED FIRST, so if you have more than one party's food on a tray, you should and CAN hand them out in the order in which they came in. It's just the "RIGHT" and "FAIR" thing to do.
7. Servers that overcharge you, because they don't try their best to make sure they don't by comparing the written orders and prices from the menu to what they are charging you.
8. Servers that give you refills without asking or bring you water without asking. While lots of people like that, you as a customer are responsible for ordering that way honestly if you want that. Your server shouldn't be ordering for you. Since most people don't want to order like that, the servers should be asking if that's how people want their service. I change up from time to time. That's another ASSUMPTION and have sent servers back to get what I did want. Sometimes have kept the refill out of obligation that I felt bad they got me a refill. I HATE ASSUMPTIONS!!
9. Servers that don't return every cent of your change and then wonder why you stiffed them. You steal, we steal!!
10. Servers that don't know the menu and you know the menu better than they do. It's sad, it really is.
11. When other servers run the food to you, they have a mistake that is very obvious, then don't even try to fix it or apologize, which they end up getting our server to fix it. WHAT WAS THE REAL POINT OF THE FOOD RUNNER/OTHER SERVER if it's going to be WRONG 70% of the time? Have my food hot only to not want to eat it, because it's wrong is not my idea of good service. I can understand if my server put in my order wrong, but if the ticket was correct, an obvious errors that they don't have to TOUCH the food to notice the mistake should be noticed BEFORE delivering the food. If there is something that is missed, the OTHER SERVER should fix it, NOT the server that took the order since THEY made the mistake, so THEY should fix it.
12. Servers that you don't know(meaning never had before), try to make conversation with you when they greet you and all you want to do is ORDER. I don't know if I want to get to know the server if they suck on a personal level, so honestly, personally if we get a new server, I would rather them get to the ordering process instead of asking us personal questions. Think about when YOU personally are hungry and thirsty as well as think about when YOU are waiting for a table. Would you want your server to delay you from getting your drinks or eating by delaying you from ordering? Be CONSIDERATE of customer's hunger and thirst!!
Now if I do know a particular server that I have requested, I don't mind at all delaying my ordering, because they treat us like gold, so I am ok with a few questions and don't mind it. It's all because they are caring and good at what they do.
That's the difference, if I don't know the server, I won't know if they are good to want to be their friend in a way per say. We wouldn't want to be friendly with a server that doesn't care if our order is obviously correct or if they overcharge us or if we wait forever for a refill. We only want to be friendly with ones that CARE and aren't lazy. WHY would anyone want to be chit-chatty with a server that sucked? You wouldn't know that when you are greeted is my point.
13. Servers that make comments about what you order such as "THAT'S MY FAVORITE" or "GOOD CHOICE." WHO CARES IF I DON'T KNOW THE SERVER? Just take down my order!! I cannot stand when servers put their OPINIONS into my order when I haven't *ASKED* for it. I ASK if I want to know my server's opinion, which I have asked before, but if I know what I want and like, WHY would I give a care what the server likes?
14. Servers that have time to bring soft drinks before bar drinks but don't. For example, my husband shouldn't have to wait 5 minutes or more for his diet coke or tea just because I order a margarita. If my server has time to bring the soft drink or tea or water separately, they should think of customer's thirst. I feel if you don't want your coke as quickly as possible either A. Don't order it or B. Tell your server bring the coke out at the same time as the bar drink. It's not like entrées that you have to bring both at the same time.
15. Servers that don't bring the check before the dessert WHEN IT WAS ASKED FOR OR WANTED!! I can't stand when you ask for the check and the dessert, that some servers don't bring the check before the dessert if it was ASKED FOR or WANTED. It benefits my server by getting us out faster to get more customers to make more tips, so WHY wouldn't you get it if it was wanted?
15. a. I can't stand it when servers bring the check WHEN you are eating dessert whether you asked for it or not, because it's an interruption when you are eating. Chances are, the customer or the server has already asked/said if they wanted the check as well, so WHY wait to bring it while eating the dessert or even with the dessert? This makes no sense.
Basically it goes like this, I ask for a dessert, a box, and the check. They wait until we have a dessert to give the check at times. HOW STUPID IS THAT? They could have picked up the check to ring it up when the dessert was brought instead of waiting until me and my husband were in the middle of sharing a dessert. That is STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!! The entire point of asking it when I order dessert is so we can leave faster without having to wait. It benefits the server to get us out of there quicker to get more customers, so these servers are STUPID that do this type of thing.
16. Servers that are unfair with things on a tray. A Red Lobster waitress once had a tray with 2 side salads for a couple that came in wayyyy after me and my husband as well as our 2 entrées. The waitress decides to give the couple their side salads first. My jaw almost dropped at the lack of common sense and decency. You can decide to hand things in ORDER if you want to, it's all up to YOU to be fair if you want US to be FAIR BACK in the tip.
17. Servers that upsell you AFTER you have placed your order. It's one thing to ask if we want to "add" anything, but to change our orders is just plain wrong. Once, at a Mexican restaurant, I ordered this orange flavored margarita off the menu on the ROCKS. I had been going for several years, but this one waitress decides to ask me after "Would you like to get the top shelf margarita for $7?" First off, the top shelf margarita was FROZEN and NOT an ORANGE margarita. Secondly, she could have done that WHEN GREETED **BEFORE** I ordered. Thirdly, those 2 drinks are very different, which one is orange, another is a regular margarita flavor. It is so irritating when servers can't just let you order and put their OPINIONS into your order. I don't care if YOU like it or think I should get it. STFU and take my damn order!!
18. Servers that don't notice you have no utensils.
19. Servers that are NOSY. I have had a server at Denny's ask "What do you need all of that for" when I order a bunch of condiments. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!
20. Servers that say "You might need to remind me." I have had 3 servers over the years say that just because I ordered a lot of condiments. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR JOB IS YOU NIMWITS? YOU WRITE DOWN EVERY SINGLE THING INSTEAD OF BE LAZY AND YOU COMPARE THE WRITTEN ORDER TO THE FOOD **BEFORE** YOU BRING IT TO ME!! If another server you may think may run the food, you offer to bring the condiments out AHEAD OF TIME!! EARN YOUR OWN TIP!! LAZY PEOPLE!! YOUR JOB IS TO REMIND YOURSELF!! WE DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING!!
I could go on and on…..
"I could go on and on….."
Please...for the love of gawd...stop! Stop! STOP!
Jeez, lady...you'd give an ulcer an ulcer!
How would you like to be married to this woman?
Wow. I mean...just...wow.
Hmm. I know I must have run into you a few times when I was waiting tables, lady. You're the one with the sour, suspicious look on your face whenever a plate of food is set down in front of you. I'm thinking this unsatisfied-with-everything-nobody-else-in-the-world-exists bullshit carries over into every aspect of your life. It's all about you, you, you... I pity the people that have to deal with you on a daily basis.
you should actually try serving because it takes being aware of what you like and don't like, and lady you sure know what you want. Try it out for a few days and see how easy it is. Maybe you're right. But then again, maybe you're not. By the way the next time you go into a restaurant and act the way it seems you do, box up your own food. You don't want to know what we did to it. Don't ask for a to-go drink either. it. Do not fuck with people who handle your food. Keep your shitty tip that you only give out when your impossible standards are met. Burger King is open until midnight every day, and I hear you can HAVE IT YOUR WAY. You can even hold the pickles and the lettuce without getting a manager involved. Stay home. And it seems like you kind of get off on being a nightmare customer. Listen, I read your diatribe and have seen so much worse. You can't be any worse than the schizo that refused to leave my section, grabbed my hair and pushed me, threatened to kill himself and then hauled away by the cops. Bring it. Just drink that soda slowly my dear because it was made extra special just for you.
"box up your own food"
I would rather do that personally to avoid germs from the server touching dirty dishes and dirty money as well as to get all my food instead of the server maybe not boxing up al the items. I have had not all in the sauce before in a dish before which if I would have boxed it up, I could have gotten every nick and cranny myself. I would rather box my own food. Shows how much you know.
I think seeing someone get their salads before her meal ruined the rest of her life! lol
I hope you die soon, slowly, and in great pain. You're a worthless human being. And you mentioned that salad/steak thing twice... how about this: get over it. The fact that you're still obsessed with it is proof that you are a miserable person.
Stay home!
You are the WORST kind of customer to have, as you find fault with EVERYTHING.
Springs1-
You talk a lot about how servers should not ASSUME and should ask questions. But many of your statements show that there are many things that you are ASSUMING you know about your server and/or dinning experience which may be completely incorrect!
Half of the things you complain about are things that the server may be required to do and is being watched to make sure it has been done.
Also one of the first things I was taught as a server was that you should always eliminate the customers need to request something as much as possible (ie. refills, condiments, etc.). Is it really that big of a deal when a server brings you a FREE refill when you didn't ask for one?
Former Server/Bartender
"I was taught as a server was that you should always eliminate the customers need to request something as much as possible (ie. refills, condiments, etc.). "
That's why the ***SERVER***** should be ASKING THE CUSTOMER!! If the customer wants refills automatically without any communication throughout their service each time they need a new one, that is when the customer should ORDER at the GREETING that they want their drinks to be served in that manner. NOT EVERYONE WANTS THAT!!
Doing my way IS eliminating the customer to request something by the SERVER asking the customer ALL things. Get what I am saying?
The customer shouldn't have to ask for each time they need a refill, the *****SERVER******* should be asking the customer!!
As far as condiments go, I can't stand when servers at times have brought ketchup bottles, I HATE ketchup!! As much condiments as I ask for, if I wanted ketchup, I would have mentioned it. I order ranch for my fries.
"Is it really that big of a deal when a server brings you a FREE refill when you didn't ask for one?"
IT SURE IS WHEN YOU WANTED SOMETHING ELSE, IT SURE IS!! They WASTED MY TIME and OTHER CUSTOMER'S TIME GETTING AN *UNWANTED* ITEM!! They could have came to ask me and I could have gotten my drink sooner of what I *DID* truly want instead.
Also, even if I end up wanting what they bring(let's say I want another coke), which they bring another coke, I am still pissed that they didn't have the **COMMON DECENCY TO ASK **MY PERMISSION** TO DO THIS!! IT'S MY SERVICE, NOT THE SERVER'S SERVICE!!!
Are you drinking it? Since you aren't WTF should YOU have a say so in WHAT I WANT? SERVERS AND BARTENDERS HAVE ZERO RIGHTS TO **ORDER** FOR SOMEONE ELSE UNLESS THEY WERE GIVEN PERMISSION TO!! Customers are **PAYING FOR THE SERVICE***, so why shouldn't they get a say so of what GOES on their table during their service?
It is a big deal when I wanted something else. They act like it's them drinking the drink instead of you as if it's their choice or something when it's ONLY the CUSTOMER'S CHOICE of what THEY PERSONALLY want at THEIR TABLE in THEIR SERVICE, THEY are PAYING FOR!!
"But many of your statements show that there are many things that you are ASSUMING you know about your server and/or dinning experience which may be completely incorrect!!"
How can anything be incorrect about what the CUSTOMER wants in "THEIR SERVICE?" It's the CUSTOMER'S CHOICE of how things go, NOT THEIR SERVER'S CHOICE. WHY do you think it's your choice?
"Half of the things you complain about are things that the server may be required to do and is being watched to make sure it has been done."
No, none of that is required if the customer doesn’t want it. The manager wouldn't tell their employee to make the customer mad, you stupid idiot!! What an idiot you are!! The entire idea is to satisfy the CUSTOMER, NOT majority, EACH PERSON at EACH TABLE of what "THEY" want or don't want.
Also you said "MAY" shows your lack of knowledge that you don't know WHAT the HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!! "It MAY" shows you don't know, do you, smart ass?
Also you said "MAY" shows your lack of knowledge that you don't know WHAT the HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!! "It MAY" shows you don't know, do you, smart ass?
You act like you know-it-all, but you don't know anything do you? "May" means exactly that, MAY, NOT IS required, MAY be required, which honestly it is the opposite. The managers want to satisfy the customers, NOT their servers DUMMY!!
springs1-
First of all I said MAY b/c each restaurant has DIFFERENT standards and policies that the staff must follow or get fired regardless what the customer wants. It is very clear that you have NEVER WORKED IN THE SERVICE industry. You are the DUMMY who is ASSUMING you know the interworkings of an industry that you have only experienced one side of.
I say that you are ASSUMING INCORRECTLY here:
"4. Servers that want to blame their mistake on someone else when it's their mistake."
How in gods name could you possibly know whose mistake it is since you have no idea how each particular restaurant is run.
I truely think that if YOU PERSONALLY really have this many pet peeves about the quality of your service you should nicely state these things to the server upon them greeting you. It's very clear that a lot of the establishments you are reffering to here are "red lobster quality" not Fine dinning. Every restaurant of this caliber trains its employees using different standards and policies and a lot of the servers have never worked in the industry before so they aren't seasoned veterans like you would get at a higher class restaurant. You get what you pay for! If you expect perfect service go to a fine dining establishment and if you dont like the service complain to the manager and maybe they will change their training standards and policies.....or here's a thought dont like the service dont go back. Restaurants cant run without customers!
second of all
springs1-
I'm going to pre-empt one of your forth coming insults here and say obviously that "second of all" at the end was mistakenly put there instead of at the beginning of my second paragraph. I apologize!
Former Server/Bartender
"4. Servers that want to blame their mistake on someone else when it's their mistake."
How in gods name could you possibly know whose mistake it is since you have no idea how each particular restaurant is run.
I know it's "THEIR" mistake when they bring me the wrong item(ordered a loaded baked potato, the STUPID IDIOT waiter that obviously didn't compare his written order to the food, brought me mac n' cheese). So here is a mistake that was the WAITER'S FAULT, because even if you are at home, you forget or bring a wrong item out of one room, bring some food in another room, if you forgot something or brought the wrong thing, WHOSE fault is it? Like DUH, YOURS!! COMMON SENSE is this issue you DUMMY!!
I know it's their fault if they FORGOT an item such as a missing side of ranch. It's not the "expo" forgot, it's THEY forgot to BRING IT FROM THE KITCHEN TO MY TABLE!!
Another thing, have seen servers hand out food without verifying which table had what and handed us another table's food. That's their mistake.
If the server put in the order wrong, you can see it on your check they put it in wrong, but they don't fess up to say they put the order in wrong. Haven't had that one happen thankfully, but it can happen.
If the server put in the order wrong, you can see it on your check they put it in wrong, but they don't fess up to say they put the order in wrong. Haven't had that one happen thankfully, but it can happen.
If I get an overcharge and my server is the last one to hand me my check, regardless of if it's a wrong price or an extra item or wrong item. If I can read, they sure can too!!
springs1-
glad to see the only thing you refuted in the last comment was how you know its the servers mistake.
oh and love the DUMMY insults... how old are we?!? lol
Former Server/Bartender
"glad to see the only thing you refuted in the last comment was how you know its the servers mistake."
First of all, I wanted to get the important stuff in BEFORE I went to work, so I didn't have the TIME to write more. Secondly, by you not saying anything about what I said about how I know it's a server mistake or not, shows that you know I am right, that I truly am telling you the truth. It also shows that you are an idiot to have said "How in gods name could you possibly know whose mistake it is", because if you were smart, you would have thought about it with some COMMON SENSE, don't you think? Should I really have to explain DUH mistakes to you such as when a waiter handed my husband fried shrimp w/fries when he ordered crawfish au gratin? It turns out, our waiter admitted grabbing the wrong entrée from the kitchen. He also, I saw, had another table's food as well on the tray jack, but NEVER ONCE took his pad of paper to COMPARE which table had which entrées. So he did TWO, count them, TWO mistakes. You know who is at fault in that situation even if our waiter wouldn’t have admitted fault, because it's so OBVIOUS to the EYES. So that makes you a "DUMMY", because WHO in the world would say such a thing? There are SOME RARE mistakes that can't be caught by the server if they bring out the food(meaning not another server or food runner involved), but most mistakes you can tell without touching anything.
"First of all I said MAY b/c each restaurant has DIFFERENT standards and policies that the staff must follow or get fired regardless what the customer wants"
You say "MAY", so you have NO CLUE of WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!
Also, a caring server would tell me that it was required such as if I ordered over a certain amount of a condiment, that their managers wouldn't let them or if they have to bring the check sooner than normal, that their manager wants them to. This is common sense that you don't just go do something, you TELL the customer why you are doing something if it's not what they want, like DUH!!
"It is very clear that you have NEVER WORKED IN THE SERVICE industry."
It is VERY CLEAR you aren't a customer much with service problems, are you?
Also, how is it clear? I know the most important thing of all is getting the order as correct as you can get it to the customer and being fast with things that are asked for such as refills. Any CUSTOMER would know this and doesn’t have to have served to know about the job. I know more than a lot of servers about the menu at the restaurants they work at, FOR REAL!!
"I truely think that if YOU PERSONALLY really have this many pet peeves about the quality of your service you should nicely state these things to the server upon them greeting you."
First off, that would take up EVERYONE'S TIME, which that's not right to the other people when they should earn their own money by doing what is right. A good example, giving refills is supposed to be up to the CUSTOMER, because that is who is supposed to be ordering, NOT the server. I don't have to tell my server "Don't order for me please." Don't you think that is a bit absurd that you have to ASSUME that your server will "ASSUME" everything? Also, most servers don't give refills without being asked, so why should I waste my time? Also, I want to know how to tip as well. Is it a CARING server that CARES about what **I** personally want or are they going to go by majority instead of INDIVIDUALITY considering they are getting an INDIVIDUALIZED tip? I want to see if they are going to check over my food BEFORE they bring it out. I want to see if they are going to actually CARE about someone else's money besides their own if they want yours by checking over the check, etc., etc.
I don't have to say anything. THEY should be ASKING ME. That is why they are there, to please YOU, NOT THEMSELVES, LIKE DUH!! WHY do you think they have a pad of paper for if they already know what THEY want? They are writing it down, because it's someone else's taste and desires. So they can remember them.
"You get what you pay for! If you expect perfect service go to a fine dining establishment and if you dont like the service"
We have had bad service at fine dining restaurants before. It's all about the SERVER, NOT the place. I have had better service at chain restaurants at times than the times we had bad service at fine dining restaurants. It is TRUE!! IT ALL DEPENDS ON IF THE SERVER IS CARING AND NOT LAZY.
One of the times at a fine dining restaurant, it was a party of 4, the waiter took 15-20 minutes to get a coke and a tea, with no apology. Had to remind him, which he didn't even go get it right away when he was reminded. He had brought out the alcohol BEFORE a coke and tea, which is insane. He forgot my ranch with no apology for the bread. Our entrées took over an hour with no update about why our food took so long. For spending a bit over 250, the waiter got $25.(the tip was 9%). We weren't paying, but if we would have been, the waiter wouldn't have had much of anything. So you see, bad service can happen ANYWHERE. IT'S NOT THE PLACE, IT'S THE PERSON THAT IS SERVING YOU!!
Don't you get that I would have done BETTER than he did with ZERO experience? I would have brought out soft drinks before bar drinks. I would have made sure that ranch was there and if I would have forgotten it, said I was sorry. I would have updated the customers about their food why it was taking so long and even gave them an apology for it, even though it may not have been my fault. See how a ZERO EXPERIENCED PERSON DOES BETTER THAN SOMEONE IN A FINE DINING RESTAURANT EVEN? SHOWS YOU!! HAVING CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE HAS MUCH MORE MERIT THAN BEING A SERVER WILL EVER and YOU KNOW IT!!
"here's a thought dont like the service dont go back."
Only if the restaurant is so terrible that we would have problems every single time we'd go we don't go back to those, but if we would have that attitude that if we have problems sometimes that we wouldn’t go back, we would NEVER eat out then, because ALL restaurants have bad servers, ALL.
WOW! springs1
I feel sorry for anyone you ever have face to face contact with b/c you are clearly a know-it-all who thinks the universe revolves around you.
Former Server/bartender
"I feel sorry for anyone you ever have face to face contact with b/c you are clearly a know-it-all"
You have nothing to say back, because YOU KNOW I KNOW-IT-ALL compared to some of the idiots that serve us that gave us bad service. You just don't want to admit the MORE EXPERIENCE you have as a "CUSTOMER" getting things wrong at your table, the more likely you couldn't FATHOM doing those things to someone else, unless you are just a mean, cold-hearted, uncaring, and lazy person.
I know what we have experienced, which some things the same situations time and time again. I bet you haven't had a wrong price on your check at a restaurant? WE HAVE LOTS OF TIMES BELIEVE IT OR NOT!! At least around 30 or so times, probably more. Have you ever had a wrong entrée delivered by your own server? We have had that happen at times. Believe it or not, we have had more wrong prices than wrong entrées, because the servers don't compare the check to the menu prices before giving it to us as they are PAID to do.
We have more than ANY problem CONDIMENTS. They are mostly ignored, not forgotten, but actually ignored. The servers aren't nice, you can just nicely say "I ordered a side of ranch", they will not say they are sorry for forgetting it. YET, still say "Thank you" when they bring it though. See how we are nice, but they aren't, but expect a good tip?
I have more common sense than A LOT of servers out there and you know it!! I would apologize if I would mess up, not just for my tip, but because I would truly feel bad about it.
"who thinks the universe revolves around you."
If that were so, I would have never said that I would take up someone else's time in my last post. I actually consider OTHERS when I order. Also, if I wouldn't think of others, I wouldn't be a good server, because I would be like that uncaring, idiot waiter we had at the fine dining restaurant that was VERY LAZY and VERY UNCARING. I would care about my customers, he didn't, but then he wanted that money, RIGHT? NO COMMON SENSE HE HAD, which I HAVE A LOT OF COMMON SENSE TO KNOW THE MORE NICER YOU ARE, THE NICER THE CUSTOMER IS MOST LIKELY GOING TO BE WHEN TIP TIME COMES!! LIKE DUH!! NO ONE HAS TO TRAIN ME TO DO THAT!!
Also, you think the universe revolves around server's tips, when it DOESN'T!! You get what you give. You give shitty service, you are going to get a shitty tip. You give me wonderful service, you are going to get a wonderful tip. It all depends ON THE SERVER, NOT THE TYPE OF RESTAURANT!! Heck, I can say at times I have had better service at MCDONALD'S than a bar even. A place where NO TIPS are earned, YET, get service PRONTO instead of unfair servers like a lot of bartenders do by going out of order making the first person wait the longest.
You clearly have nothing to say back, because you CAN'T!! You know I am RIGHT ABOUT EVERY SINGLE THING I SAID!! That is why you can't come up with any rebuttals, because they are none.
Why do you think I only think of myself, then tip 20% plus? If that was the case, I wouldn't tip if I only thought of myself, now would I? Also, if I only thought of myself, I wouldn't say "Thank you" when they would bring me things and be nice when I ask for things "Can I get another coke", even saying "thank you" ahead of time as well as when they bring it. You have NO CLUE of WHAT you are talking about.
Servers think the world revolves around tips, which most don't think of the customers, so WHY should we think as much about their tips if they don't think about making us happy in our service? What goes around, comes around. Treat us as if that were YOUR service.
Springs1
Oh I'm sorry... I forgot to say you are right about everything and I am most certainly wrong on all counts
I do not go out to dinner to spend time with the server. They are there to attend to my food needs and not become my friend or part of the family. I had a server sit down at my table once and I immediately said, 'You were not invited to join our table. If you do not get up this moment, we will walk out." I then spoke to the manager and told him I was highly offended that a strange person, an employee of his assumed he was invited to my table. He apologized but said it was something "new" they were trying. I don't him, don't! He gave us free desserts, which we put in a box and took home.
Another peeve, is filling the glass when it is half full. I usually get unsweetened tea, which I then sweeten with artificial sweetener. By constantly refilling I have to constantly re-sweeten, and besides, I like the tea to get really cold and that can't be done by reflling constantly. FFS–leave me alone when I'm eating, get out of my face, leave the drink alone, ask me if everything is ok ONCE...then leave me alone!
I've worked in customer service all my life. One thing I've learned is that it's impossible to make every person happy. I've heard most of the waiter comments posted all through life. This tells me that someone must like it if they've been doing it the last 30 years that i know of. If a waiter checks on you regularly, keeps your glass full, brings your food out promptly, and closes your meal at a decent time please be considerate and leave them a tip based on their service. Don't base it on the nuances of someone squating to take your order, or asking how the food is 3 times.
“The ONLY time I've ever complained in a restaurant because the service was SO horrible, my waiter said, "I'm sorry I didn't pay enough attention to you." And walked away! I was so mad!”
What did you expect him to do tie a noose next to your table to kill him/her self? I'm surprised you got a full apology. let me guess; you were expecting the waiter to give you something for free.
I think it's unsanitary when a server brings your food with those small condiment dishes sitting on your plate with your food.i don't know where those plates have been.it seems no matter wheather you request that this not be done'they do it anyway.the board of health should site these places for unsanitary reasons.it also upsets me to the point where i just don't care to eat my food. thanks for the oppertunity to voice my opinion.
Then eat at cleaner restaurants.
I hate it when I pay the bill in cash, and they ask: "Do you want change?" How presumptuous!
By asking if you want change, they are only trying to save time! We don't know if there's exact change, only a few cents more or if the bill is a $100. We are only trying to save some time so we can be attentive to the other customers. Also it cuts down on the risk of some other customer swiping the change off of the table.
Then simply say "I'll be right back with your change." That gives the customer the opening to say 'That's OK, keep it." if they want. It make the customer happy to be so magnanimous and you might end up with a higher tip. But asking "Do you want change?' is presumptuous and, if you are my server, an automatic 5% drop in the tip.
Let me put it this way, if you go to a store and hand a cashier some money for some purchase, does the cashier ask "Did you want change?" Hell yes, you wanted change. And at the time a server is taking my money, they are acting as a cashier and they should act like one.
People that dine out are NOT entitled to treat their servers like servants. The job is difficult enough without having to deal with some over-priviledged douchebag bitching about more chips and salsa. The restaurant is there to feed you a meal that takes the effort out of having to do it yourselves. The server, not servant, is there to transport the food to your table and keep an eye out for any requests you may have. POLITELY request for something, and you should receive it in a few moments. However, the majority of diners are under the impression that since they are paying for a meal they didn't want to cook for themselves, that they are entitled to treat people like shit. All of you under this belief can go home and fimly shove a sharp knife up your ass. Be nice, be courteous and ALWAYS leave a tip. Done.
ive been a server since high school aka for 3 to 4 years and i hate blatant undertippers actually last week someone came in with a gluten/soy/dairy allergy and i spent close to an hour going over recipe books and talking to cooks and the head chefs to ensure they had a good non hive breakout meal and they didnt tip me AT ALL on the total 40 dollar order because their food was late.
yeah if i do over an hour of work or like a 1/6 of my shift giving the best service i can to you and you stiff me after i sacrificed other tables tips to make sure you don't go to the hospital i deserve to punch you. if it was my last day which it will be in a week i would have clocked out pre-emptivly just to beat the shit out of him
1. when a server greets you with a "hello, how are you tonight?" the answer is not "vodka tonic"
2. when a server is telling you the specials it is very rude to say yuck when you hear an ingredient you don't like.
3. i'm sure your having a very stimulating conversation but when your server comes to your table to check on you, please say something, don't just ignore him/her.
4. if you are on your cell phone you should and will be ignored.
5. don't go behind the bar for any reason, don't stand in a walkway where people are running food, and don't go to the server station to talk on your cell phone.
these are just a few off the top of my head.
the golden rule is a good one, treat others as you would want to be treated.
Amen!
"1. when a server greets you with a "hello, how are you tonight?" the answer is not "vodka tonic""
Your job is to take my order, NOT be my friend. Think of our THIRST AND HUNGER instead of YOURSELF!! People want to EAT AND DRINK, is why they came to the restaurant, so think of their feelings.
"the golden rule is a good one, treat others as you would want to be treated."
I would expect and want to be treated by just getting their order, because I know when "I" go out to eat, I want to get the ordering started right away, so WHY would I feel if I were a server it shouldn't be that way all of a sudden? I also would want to think of the other customers that may need me as well not to ask how they are doing. Just get our orders and usually it is required to tell us your name, but that's it. STFU and get our orders!!
As far as treat others as you would want to be treated, most servers don't. MOST servers no matter how nice you are about a mistake, don't apologize, especially just about 99% of the food runners/other servers that run the food with mistakes NEVER say they are sorry, NEVER!! I feel that servers should act like THEY are the customer, then think about how THEY'D like to be treated to treat the customers in that manner instead of the way a lot of servers do which is not to care and not to apologize.
....i hope i never serve you. You are an asshole.
People like you who seem to only notice the mistakes that servers make are why servers are able to list so many complaints. You obviously have never worked in a restaurant and have no idea what it's like, because you said in another post that you should be able to please everyone most of the time. You yourself are an example that it's not true. Some people can't be happy. People make mistakes. But servers, of course, are not people, we are your servants, who must not make mistakes.
seriously?
"People like you who seem to only notice the mistakes that servers make are why servers are able to list so many complaints. "
No, I notice if my server brings me my refill fast or my food is correct or my bill if it is correct or not. I DO VERY MUCH notice the positives. I think "How would I handle this if I were the server?"
"because you said in another post that you should be able to please everyone most of the time. You yourself are an example that it's not true."
No, I have been 100% COMPLETELY satisfied MANY of times with the many over the years 25% plus tips we have given. We have "GO-GETTERS" that BUST ASS, LITERALLY BUST ASS to get EVERYTHING PERFECT. Sure, the same servers may have an off-day, but in general they treat us as we have treated them by PAYING them well for the WONDERFUL service with rarely any mistakes and when they are some, they APOLOGIZE. They aren't mean people like YOU are!!
You can please everyone most of time by **ASKING QUESTIONS**!! Would you like refills without being asked? Would like a glass of water, would you like lemon with it? "Do you want a dessert or anything else" instead of bringing the check when a customer ordered dessert only. Ask questions. If you hate questions, TELL YOUR SERVER "THIS IS WHAT I WANT and LIST EVERY SINGLE THING such as "Can you please bring me refills automatically throughout my service please?" Can I get some extra lemon with water? Can I get a glass of water please? I could go on and on…
You can please yourself by ORDERING things yourself. You can please the customer by ASKING questions instead of ASSUMING EVERYONE wants the same things, which they don't.
For example, a side salad when ordered as well as an appetizer as well as 2 entrées for a couple for example. Everyone feel differently about when they want their side salads. I honestly feel and have had WITHOUT ASKING, my side salad BEFORE the appetizer came out, which at another restaurant, the waiter didn't asked, assumed I wanted it after the appetizer that I didn't want to share much of. I would have even been ok with my side salad to be served together with the appetizer, because I wasn't sharing much of it with my husband. My point is, servers should ask questions since side salads CAN be served BEFORE an appetizer since it needs no cooking or much prepare to speak of.
Another example, boxing up food. Some people prefer to do it themselves to avoid germs from the server touching all the dirty dishes and dirty money. Think about it. Some people would rather do it themselves that is why you ASK instead of just DO something, YOU ASK PERMISSION, just as with the change, you ASK PERMISSION since it's NOT YOURS!! It's THEIR SERVICE, so they should get it 100% HOW ******THEY********* want it for THEIR MONEY!!
You please the customer by asking if they don't voluntarily tell you how they want certain things done. Not everyone likes things the same ways.
"People make mistakes. But servers, of course, are not people, we are your servants, who must not make mistakes."
You obviously didn't **READ*** the post did you? I said the ones that DON'T TAKE ANY ********EFFORT********** into even trying to REMEMBER things by WRITING IT DOWN!! WRITE THINGS DOWN IF YOU WANT TO TRY TO REMEMBER THINGS!!
It's not a real mistake if you don't **TRY** is it? A good example, asked this particular waitress for a box, the check, a to-go coke, and a bag. She forgot the bag. It's wasn't a mistake. It was that she didn't even *********TRY ************ to remember it by WRITING THOSE THINGS DOWN!! Servers need to write down to-go boxes, the check, a bag, and a to-coke. They really need to if they suck at remember from their memories alone. My short term memory is terrible, so for me, I would have to write even if someone would ask for a refill, I'd have to write it down.
My point is, a mistake is when you TRY YOUR VERY BEST, then fail, but if you haven't even taken a pen to write down the order on your pad of paper, then how can you even think you are going to remember it? You are BOUND to mess up when a lot of things are asked for at once, which there were 4 things. I try to not run the server, but they RUN THEMSELVES with the LAZY ASS SELVES by not WRITING DOWN EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY THING THAT WAS ASKED FOR!!
It's not a guarantee, but it sure can help if you have a LIST to go by when you are getting those items.
1. to-go box
2. to-go coke
3. bag
4. the check
See, the server would go down that list and mark out each one that she finishes getting. If you are TOO LAZY ASS to WRITE IT DOWN, MORE POINTS OFF FOR YOUR BEING UNCARING AND VERY LAZY TO NOT PICK UP THAT PEN. Serving is not just about writing down orders, it's about remembering ALL things that are asked for extra napkins I have had forgotten about once when I had asked a waiter for a refill on my coke, more bread, and some extra napkins. HE DIDN'T WRITE IT DOWN.
You want to remember something WRITE IT DOWN!! Sure, I have even missed things on my grocery list with it written down, but without the list, I wouldn't remember all the things I would have to get and probably would forget a BUNCH of things I need, for REAL. The list SURE DOES HELP, it REALLY DOES!!
So quit talking about mistakes. I am ONLY in this entry, talking about the LAZY servers that don't **WRITE DOWN THE THINGS YOU ASK FOR, THEN FORGET**!! If you are wonderful at remembering more power to ya, but most people aren't and NEED to write every single thing down.
If those people would have wrote those request down, more money would have been in their tip instead, it was a little less all because they were to LAZY and UNCARING to care about if they remembered.
I recognize you and call you out, SPRINGS. Why do you have nothing better to do with your life than go around on the web spewing your vileness toward servers. For years now I have seen your stupid opinion lambasted all over anything server related with so many freaking capital letters as to make my eyes bleed. You really, truly suck and I hope your life is as miserable as I assume it must be for you to have nothing better to do than this.
Mrs. mudd
"You really, truly suck and I hope your life is as miserable as I assume it must be for you to have nothing better to do than this."
LOOK IN THE MIRROR!! It's really the pot calling the kettle black here. You are bitching on here too about me, so what does that tell you how you have nothing better to do either, do you? You are an IDIOT!!
"freaking capital letters as to make my eyes bleed."
NO ONE IS MAKING YOU READ IT YOU STUPID IDIOT!! DON'T READ IT THEN IF IT BOTHERS YOU, YOU STUPID IMBECILE!!
"For years now I have seen your stupid opinion lambasted"
No, 99% of my stuff ARE FACTS, NOT OPINIONS!! It's a fact that your server has zero rights to order for you. It's a fact that you should have utensils when you get food served to you. It's a fact the server should make sure all your food that they can easily notice without touching anything BEFORE they bring it to you so they don't have to make several trips. I could go on and on....
On #2, it's not just rude to say "yuck", it's stupid, and a good way for the server (and the other people at your table, BTW) to gauge what kind of an ignorant rube you are.
I'd love to actually read all these posts but who has the time. I've been a server for a loooong time and it is my chosen profession. I'm lucky because i live in a city of great food and where being a server is a career not just a stepping stone for college kids. Here are my pet peeves in no particular order:
1. Approaching and addressing a table and no one answers or looks up or are on their cell phone. HATE IT and it's so rude! We are trying to do our jobs which is to serve you, the least you could do is be attentive back and not waste our time.
2. Cheap tippers. We've all experienced them, we know the most guilty groups. I won't repeat it. But I will say this to all you Canadian, Europeans and Asians....we know you are smarter than this and we know you know the protocol in America for what to tip. COUGH UP THE CORRECT % or start hitting McDonald's and leave the real restaurants to people who will be decent. It's my living. I get taxed on what you spend whether or not I make any money off of you!!
3. People who try to do my job as if I'm not capable of it. HEY, douche bag, at least wait to see if I'm incompetent before taking control. I know my job and you'll probably have a better time if you leave this part to me.
4.People who whine about not having something they want. We are a restaurant, one of millions of restaurants, we have a menu for a reason. If you don't like what this particular one is offering, why did you come in? I will do my best to accommodate people, but when you just keep whining, you need to find somewhere else, man up and wipe that pouty face off before I smack you. I didn't ask you to come here, it was your choice!
5.People who don't read the menu or wine list and want you to basically tell them everything. No one has that kind of time. READ THE MENU, you jerk and then start asking questions.
6.People who think they've purchase the table for the night just because they had dinner. After a reasonable amount of time after you're done....LEAVE! If you want to have a business meeting or solve the worlds problems, go home or to a bar where no one will care how long the conversation goes on. Other people would also like to eat tonight too and I'd like to make more than one tip off this table!
7. People who think that just bc it's my job, I'm infallible or should be. We all have our off moments or days or even weeks sometimes and it's not easy having to be in the public eye if you're having a bad day. Cut us some slack and don't be so quick to judge. Sometimes, it's just a fluke and things will be fine the rest of the meal. Don't act like your entire night is ruined bc I forgot the lemons for your water on my first run.
I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but I've been at work all night and I'm tired. And I'm tired of thinking about the things I don't like about my job. Despite it's downfalls, I mostly love what I do and enjoy feeding people who are nice, polite, and appreciative.
"Don't act like your entire night is ruined bc I forgot the lemons for your water on my first run."
If you didn't WRITE IT DOWN, it makes me more pissed off if you forget something, because you didn't take ANY **EFFORT** to TRY TO REMEMBER IT!! My husband and I have forgotten refills, bags, to-go boxes, the check, to-go cups, to-go condiment containers, etc. forgotten due to the servers NOT **WRITING THOSE DOWN**!! You want us to show some pity in the tip, AT LEAST TRY TO NOT FORGET IT by WRITING IT DOWN.
Don't act like your tip should be 20% if you don't write it down, then forget it. Don't act like your tip should be 20% if you don't apologize for forgetting it.
"I know my job and you'll probably have a better time if you leave this part to me."
Don't act like you aren't capable by doing stupid stuff like bring me the completely wrong food off of a tray without verifying which table had what. Act like you are smart. That particular example happened to me and my husband 2 times at least where we saw the server not verify which table had what and just aimlessly handed out food.
I wish I could say that the ignorance displayed in these posts shocked me. Picture this: you make $2.15 an hour (before tax), you do everything that you have been trained to do, you do your best to be a "faithful servant" as one poster described, you smile and nod when you are treated like a hapless fool for any act this particular individual does not agree with even though the next person might expect it, then you are degraded further by sycophants who have nothing better to do with their time than to complain about having to pay for their meal. Tips are not just complimentary, they are worked into the business model and the livelihood of every individual involved in your service (that tip also goes to the bartender, the hostess, the expediter, etc...). I do my job, I did my job, I am now an executive in the hospitality industry, and I greatly appreciate the patronage and feedback of every guest.... but grow up and have some respect for the people who are trying to make your visit hospitable. There are times when tips are earned, and there are time when they are not. Don't let that power go to your head.
Dining is an experience. Enjoy it.
I am a server that always gives my customers great service, so I hate it when people tip badly. We earn less than minimum wage and have to earn that back in tips. If you don't have money to tip, serve your damn self at home!
I find a lot of humor in the posts which insinuate that I should go to fast food places to eat if I don't feel like leaving a tip. First, how am I supposed to know that you're going to be a shitty waiter, and that tonight is the night that I need to avoid you? Second, I travel for business frequently. Just got back from San Francisco, where I tipped a drive-through worker because she noticed that something about the order was wrong and fixed it of her own volition. So, the type of establishment really doesn't come into play...if you are good, you'll be rewarded. If not, you won't. I'm not responsible for feeding your kids, any more than you are responsible for for feeding mine. Actually, I guess that I AM feeding your kids if all of you servers that are bitching about your wages really have it as bad as you say that you do, what with food stamps, free lunch, and other welfare services.
I do my job...do yours. Be happy. live your life. Change it when necessary. QUITCHERBITCHIN.
FUCK OFF we say that because cunts like you think ten percent on a 100 buck ticket is ok. if you dont like it leaveid rather have a manager comp my table because someone left before their food got there then have a shitty tip and miss out on better clients
I'll say this: If I could quickly write out a dozen things about my job and drive me nuts, i;d be looking for a new job.
I've been looking for a new job since I graduated from college TWO years ago. The economy is horrible, and even with all of the shitty tippers out there, I am lucky enough to be employed by an upscale restaurant where I am still making way beyond minimum wage (and perhaps more than many of my friends in entry-level positions). So I put up with the bullshit because otherwise, my student loans won't get paid.
We as a society have completely forgotten what manners, respect and just being plan old human are all about. There is a something called 'The Golden Rule', and as I remember it, it says to "Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated." Pretty straightforward. Having made a career choice to work in the hospitality industry, I can say that you can't please all of the people all of the time. Read through these posts and it is obvious. If you aren't getting what you want, just speak up politely and it can be fixed.
I hate when I bring a round of drinks to a table and as I'm handing them out, the first person to get their drink sucks it down by the time I've just finished handing them out... and then wants more! FFS, if you're THAT thirsty, ask for 2 drinks/waters from the beginning.
I also hate when people hide their face in their menu and give me their order. I can't hear you! Only you can hear you! (I've become good at reading lips – if I can see them!)
At the same time though, I hate when people order 2 drinks and don't ever drink either of them. Do you think I am going to be that shitty right off the bat you need a back up beverage? GD...Carrying 12 drinks at once is heavy.
From server to customer...little things that you do that aggravate us, and in turn our response infuriates you further:
1. Go pee before your seated. Then I have to wait to take your drink order and talk about the menu and all you're doing is holding up the process.
2. GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONE! I CANNOT stand when a guest is seated while speaking on their cell phone. I will politely and quietly greet the other individuals in your party and make my presence known. But all you are doing is being disrespectful to me and your company. Everyone else is going to have to wait for their dining experience to begin because you couldn't wait 5 minutes to return the call. It's probably not important anyways.
3. If I'm struggling to reach something on the table, don't stare at me like a deer in headlights. Help me! I'm not fucking go-go gadget.
4. When I ask if you would like anything else please tell me everything you need AT ONCE. Don't wait until I return with butter to tell me you'd like another martini. I would never tarnish anyone's food or drink, but you best believe that if someone else asks for another glass of wine when I return with your martini, that they're waiting an extra 5 minutes for it, based off principle alone.
5. I'm going to bed now because my body is physically sore from working a ten-hour shift. So please have a little respect for your servers when you dine-out. It's not as simple as writing an order down on a notepad. Did I mention I worked with stitches in my hand all night? And that I had to open several bottles of wine with that hand? We're people too. And while you're dining out to unload your long day, you're making my day longer. I don't come piss you off at your job, don't shit on mine.
from server to server... THANK YOU!! :)
Most people don't realize that servers do NOT make minimum wage. In some states (Florida) servers make $2.13/hr. TIPS keep us alive! Be fair and if you don't have money to tip, go to McDonald's.
No. If you don't like it, then YOU go to McDonald's to work. Tipping is very STUPID. They should just pay you a fair wage and set a fair price. Tipping, in any area, needs to be stopped.
@Thomas M195 – really? tipping is stupid and outdated? Please, by all means, go to Congress and lobby for that to be changed. We servers would appreciate that more than your "not tipping as a matter of principle" ... we don't make the rules.
I've read several people mention that people generally don't tip in Europe – but you do, it's just added into the price.
I am a waitress, and for the most part I think that folks are nice and well mannered. I have developed some serious pet peeves in my twenty years of serivice.
I have had people blow their nose and set their used snotrag on the plate that I was taking. I am a human being and this is revolting.
If you snap your fingers I will automatically ignore you for five minutes.
Please pull your chair up to the table. I can't serve you if I can't get around you.
Please keep your children under control. It is not a playground. And for heavens sake don't let them wander in the aisles. We are walking fast with trays of hot food and I might step on your child or burn them.
Please don't walk the crying babies up and down the aisles. Take them outside. Nobody thinks they're cute when they're crying, they are just disturbing the peace. Proud grandmothers looooove parading the babies. Sheesh! Stop!
When the restaurant has closed, please don't be that jerk who stays for another hour. Go to a coffee shop if you want to stare into each others eyes.
Please know that we work very hard to ensure that you have a good time, we want you to have an awesome dining experience. Servers in most states earn $2.13 per hour, so if you stiff us after we have spent all night taking care of you then you just kinda suck.
Bread is not an appetizer. If you chose to forgo an app and only order an entree, don't ask for five baskets of bread. We are a business and that is just plain rude.
When I hang up my apron and retire, so help me, I don't ever want to hear "WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE" ever, ever again.
as a server "when you get a chance" is the best way for a customer to put anything. please disregard that if you reading this because the nicer you are to your server the faster the will recheck you table the faster they will bring you modifications and more bread and the more likely we are to just not charge you for small stuff or refills that should be charged
I've been in your shoes, Erica, and hope never to go back. You may have reached the point in the service industry when it's time to consider moving on. I knew when I had reached my limit serving the public. If you're angry all the time and hate people as a rule you risk becoming bitter for life. There are rare individuals who can shrug stuff off, but it's just too hard for most of us to take the kind of crap patrons 'serve up' day in and day out. It's been 4 years since I last waited tables and I can still feel my blood pressure rising when reading some of the boorish comments on here.
Oddly enough I am a happy-go-lucky lady. Diners at large only make me want to shoot myself in the face once in a blue moon, ha ha. As I said, most folks are very nice. As a longtime professional server I have learned tremendous patience. I would never laugh at somebody who could not pronounce the name of a food or wine, or make them feel like an idiot. My job is to ensure that you enjoy yourself. It's just the random prick who makes me angry sometimes. And, is it just me or are the wealthier people the worst tippers? Doctors can be real shits when it comes to tipping, while the guy who pumps your gas will go 22%. People always amaze me and yet never surprise me.
THE MOST heinous crime is when they interrupt the conversation. It's terrible to sit next to your boyfriend and lean over his shoulder to whisper something in his ear, only to be interrupted by a waiter, who charged in to refill your water pitcher like a rhinocerous. Also, I hate when they don't immediately refill your water when it runs out.
Well if your water just ran out, and you're busy whispering sweet nothings into your loved one's ear, I wouldn't want to "charge in like a rhinoceros" to fill it. Next time don't drink your water up before you partake in a little PDA action.
I hate when couples partake in PDA at a restaurant. People don't want to see you mack on your significant other...It's gross, it makes you look trashy. And it's frustrating...I have a job too do and that is make sure your food is good, your beverage is full and you are taken care of. Heaven forbid, I interrupt you tonguing your boyfriend's ear just to refill your glass, NOT EVEN TO SPEAK TO YOU and walk away.
Did any other server notice that couple must be a same-sider?? Stay home and order take-out next time..
A lot of these comments are ridiculous and from people who have obviously never served before. I get paid $2.13 an hour which is not enough to put up with the following:
1. Approaching a table and the table ignores me. "Good evening, welcome to ______. My name is Christi and I'll be your server for the evening" I am met with silence or sneers or annoyed lip-smacking. Servers are required to introduce themselves, push specials and up-sell. They are listening for us not to do so.
2. Taking care of a large party is no picnic. Call ahead to let us know you are coming. Please be patient.
3. You have no idea what you ordered when a food runner gets there as the plates are burning the skin off of his arm. But you'd remember what you ordered if the dish was forgotten or made incorrectly.
4. Men who eat who relentlessly hit on me from the moment I arrive at the table. I have a wedding ring on and I expect you to respect that.
5. Groups of women who gang up on me from the second I arrive at the table. I'm sorry that I look exactly like someone that you all hate. I am a person! You've also never met me before.
6. Its not hard to bring people food, but its an art to serve. It takes practice. If you've had bad service in the past its because of inexperience. Having a patron call you stupid or curse at you is unacceptable. I never forget a face, and neither do most servers. If you have the nerve to call me stupid and come back to the restaurant I will remember you.
7. DO NOT TOUCH ME. Do not try to get my attention by tugging my shirt sleeve or grabbing my arm.
8. Flagging me down to place an order while you are on your phone and then insisting that I wait at the table for you to finish your conversation is a waste of your time and mine. I'm sure my six other tables could do without listening to you talk about the underwear your bought at Macy's, also. Get off of your phone or wear a phone booth on top of your head.
9. Getting upset when I card you. I can get jail time and up to a thousand dollar fine if I get caught serving alcohol to people underage, and secret shoppers come in all of the time to check to see if I am enforcing this. If you want alcohol and look under thirty I will card you.
10. Forgetting to modify your order and when it arrives insisting that you did. I write everything down. EVERYTHING. If you said it I wrote it. I do this so your order is specifically the way you asked for it. I also repeat back every order with every specified modification. I don't mind if you order a club salad '86' everything, sub everything else. I don't care if its a list of mods a page long. You are paying for it and have the right to have it whichever way you desire. Its possible you forgot and not that I am incompetent.
11. The verbal tip. "You were the best server we've ever had. Thank you so much! We'll come back because of you!" and I open the check book after you leave and see a two dollar tip on a fifty dollar check. Best server ever? Really??? I'm the best server ever and yet I'm eating Ramen tonight because of you, as is my child. I do not get a paycheck because 2.13 an hour isn't even enough to cover my taxes.
12. People who insult you, run you to death, and leave terrible tips while wearing a name tag with their place of business on it. You're only letting me know where to show up if I decide to ruin YOUR DAY. I'll be sure to ask for you, Denise H., of the Chanel counter at Dillards.
I hate when customers fail to understand the difference between a server and a servant. Dont snap at me. My name isnt Yoo-hoo or Waiter. Thats why I told you my name when I approached the table. Oh but thats right you werent even paying attention to me. Thats why when I said "How are you?" you responded by saying "What do you have on draft?". And the issue isnt that you couldnt find me, the issue was every time I came to the table you couldnt have the decency to look up from your food or to kindly pause the conversation. Now all of a sudden you need another lemon and its the end of the world because you "havent seen me all night long", and god forbid some other pesky customer may actually need something the same time you do. You can avoid the frustration and spare me the headache by kindly pausing the conversation or face-stuffing to let me do my job and make sure you have everything you need. 5 seconds and I'll be out of your hair.
And also, its not presumptuous or arrogant, if I dont write your order down its because I have the mental capacity to remember what 4 people want to eat. And by asking me "You sure you dont want to write this down?", what youre really saying is "Are you sure youre smart enough for this, because judging by your career choice you obviously didnt go to college." Well this may surprise you, but I dropped out of college because I'm lazy, not because I'm stupid. When people sit down at a restaurant, all too often they lose sight of one important fact: its just food. We're not curing cancer here, we're seasoning vegetables and dead animals and throwing them on a fire so you can stick it in your face. Oh, you ordered your steak rare and its medium? Well youre absolutely right, its overcooked and you should get what you paid for. But you know what? I didnt cook it, so stop being a dick to me. I'm on your side. You want to get what you paid for, but theres a nice way to go about it. In the end, youre gonna get what you ordered anyway, so relax and have a glass of wine on the house while we fix it. See, was it worth being such an a-hole about? Didnt think so. This job may seem beneath some people, and if youre one of those people, just remember a couple of things: taking insults and sacrificing our self-respect is not part of the job description so watch how you talk to us. And number 2, dont be so unwise as to mistreat someone who is handling your food.
After reading all these comments, I don't feel like eating out much anymore. Due to the economy, a lot of my friends and I are having more casual dinner parties at our apartments as we live in SF where the cost of living is high, and so is the cost of a meal. We can get some pretty nice meals from the local Trader Joe's, Safeway, WholeFoods, etc. and just heat them up while we drink and munch on appetizers. Heck, delivery is pretty darn good in the neighborhood, without all of the attitude I'm reading from both sides of the fence. My friends and I try to treat ourselves and go out once every two weeks or so, but it usually costs almost $50 for $35 of food and no drinks (per person). Here's a simple solution: for the people who don't like the service stop eating out; for people who don't like their customers, find another job which doesn't involve service-based compensation. If enough people do this, we'd probably end up with more courteous diners and servers. Meanwhile, eating out less will save money and be healthier in the long run for your waistline and wallet and for the server's mental health.
As a customer, I hate other customers who talk on their cell phones while their waitstaff is trying to take their order- answering the phone after you've begun to give your order makes the waitstaff stand there and wait for you, and thus they cannot wait on their other tables and attend to others in need of service. Give your order, then call back- preferably outside.
If you order food a certain way, and the server brings it that way, don't throw a hissy-fit because you didn't know what those fancy words meant. It's become a game in my family to listen to other tables doing this. The best is when someone adamantly orders a steak "Pittsburghed", then sends it back because it is "burnt." Hello? And you just KNOW that poor server's tip just got docked.
The best waitperson we had, we had her a few times and she was very professional with us, so one day we asked if we could speak to her about our tastes and issues (sometimes waitstaff don't have time to get cozy). After that, we'd ask for her when we came in, and she was always ready with suggestions, substitutions, and sometimes I could go in and say, "I'm really tired- what's for lunch?" and wonderful things would just appear within our price range. It was amazing. We went to that restaurant- and it was a chain- just for her. Then the manager decided to change her to dinner shift, and we never went there for dinner. We stopped going at all.
Tipping is outdated and worthless. I don't know why it's expected, much less why they think they deserve 20% of the cost of the meal for doing 5% of the work. 95% of the experience is in the hands of the cooks, and yet they don't share in the tip. I know, I was a cook for 4 years and in that time only once did a waiter ever come back to thank me by sharing his tip. Yet if I had a nickel for every time a wait person came back and said "I forgot to enter this, can you do it next?" I'd be a wealthy man.
I agree with the complaint about wait staff who constantly interrupt.
I'm also positively baffled when I see someone take an order and then 10 minutes latter a bunch of other people come out carrying the food and start asking "Ok, so who ordered the chicken?" This is the latest trend, and I'm still trying to figure out why I have to leave a tip for this.
You can tell me tipping is outdated and worthless when my manager wants to start paying me more than $4.00 and hour...and that's a hefty hourly for a server, most only make in the $2-3 range. Do you realize I only see HALF of the tip you leave me in the first place? The food-runners get a share, the server assistants that clean the tables get a cut, as well as the bartenders; and some establishments even include a share for the host staff. You don't want to tip, then drive your ass through a McDonald's. I make a living off of my tips, and my tips solely. My measly 4 dollars an hour goes toward the taxes that I must pay based on my sales...NOT my tips. So if you decide to leave me $10.00 on your $100.00 check, guess what, I've just paid for your fucking ass to eat.
Actually, in many restaurants, the tip is often split- the hostess, the cook, the bussers- they all have to be "paid" out of the waitstaff's tip. If other people bring out the food, they get part of that tip as well. In such places, it isn't uncommon for the waitstaff to get 40-45% of the tip you leave.
If you think the tipping system is outdated, be prepared to pay more than 20% more for your food. The average server earns a little more than $2/hour. To keep competent wait staff establishments will have to pay more than minimum wage to put up with patrons. Trust me on that...
The reason why you tip is because the servers earn 2.13 an hour. I don't think anyone but those in the management or the corporate offices likes this system. No, it's not your fault "they have such a low paying job" but if they were paid minimum wage, your food bill would be just as high, if not higher than what you would expect to pay with a tip. When you pay for that meal, you really aren't paying the real worth of those serving you. That's because the price of minimum wage isn't factored into the meal... it's expected to be paid out in tips. In all honesty, I think tipping is a stupid practice myself, and needs to be done away with. But am I going to screw over my server because I disagree with tips? No. Anyone whose logic goes from "Tips are bad" to "So let's screw over my waiter" is just using it as an excuse to be cheap.
I am just amazed at how much people like to whine. Eating at a restaurant isn't that bad. Most waiters are just rtying to do a good job and most customers want to tip the waiter fairly. Relax a little!
I think they should lighten up about a lot of this. For example, what's wrong with a server asking "just one?' if you enter solo? They're simply trying to ascertain whether or not someone will be joining you, which determines (usuallY0 when the service should commence, which in my book makes it a perfectly valid question. I mean, it is a RESTAURANT people, come on. Just chill out and don't make a political issue out of it.
Bad tippers suck. The average tip is 18% not 15%. Times have changed, so should you. If you tip less than 15% for good service, your a DOUCHEBAG. We know who you are. Remember, the server is the last person to touch your food before you eat it. You should want the server to like you, so don"t be an @ss. p.s.A server sitting or nealing at my table is the least of my worries.
I always tip at least 20% no matter what; even if the service was bad. I do this for a few reasons. A good server knows when they did a bad job. Tipping them good in spite of that bad service will endear them to you. If you always tip well, servers will remember you and will take care of you and practically fight over who gets to serve you. To me, tipping is about buying future services.
Excellent point, very true!
server peeves:
- Asking "what does this come with" when it says so right on the menu
- Stiffing me when I give you good service.... and no explanation for the stiffing (at least lie and tell me you just remembered you don't have enough bus fare to make it home)
- Saying, "oh, you should have this instead/why don't you have this item/I like the way they do it at X restaurant better." I'm sorry, but I don't know why the hell we have Canadian bacon instead of Applewood smoked bacon. We only have whole milk because you are the only person of the 300 who came in for breakfast who is demanding skim, and I'm sorry, but I cannot run across the street and buy you skim, and my manager is not going to get a case of it for you when you come in once every two weeks. Also, we are not switching from waffle fries to steak fries just because you want us to. Go somewhere else.
- Letting your kids throw chicken tenders at other customers
- having your kids literally run into my legs when I am carrying a tray of hot food that could very well injure them or another patron (or myself!)
- getting mad when I drop the check on the last bite of your dessert, instead of waiting until your plate is empty, because I have to disappear for the next 10 minutes and take care of an 8-top
- telling me something is wrong and refusing to let me fix it, then complaining you didn't like it.
- getting offended when i ask if you are finished with your meal or if you would like a box after you have not touched the last quarter of your sandwich for 15 minutes... I'm sorry, but I don't always finish my food and I think that there are other people out there who might not, either, and I don't want them to needlessly wait.
- Asking for the check after two bites, and then finishing up the meal leisurely. This just hurts my feelings–I wasn't going to forget you!
- Assuming I'm stupid because I serve. Sorry, but when you are a full time student, where else are you going to work weekends and make enough money to pay your rent?
- thinking a monkey could serve better/serving is easy. yeah, delivering food is easy, and taking orders is easy, but delivering truly good service takes skill.
- With holding constructive criticism. Blank stares at the end of your meal and a couple coins on the counter doesn't tell me much, and I don't have time to analyze my every move during a rush. Please just tell me, "you forgot my appetizer", "I wanted extra creamers", etc. I have learned a lot this way and will not make the same mistake twice. Plus, if I FORGOT something, how am I supposed to know unless you speak up? Trust me, it won't kill me to get a few pointers, especially if you or myself are new to the establishment about how you expect service to be conducted.
- Being nice counts for a lot. I've had people write "thank you, you were great!" on receipts and just leave the usual 15-20%, but damn, that felt like a million bucks to my self esteem! However, it doesn't work if they leave me no tip.
- Stiffing me for situations out of my hands after I have done everything possible to fix it. Like the guy that found a hair in the batter of his shrimp halfway through his meal, that was obviously not mine. I did not see it (like I said, in the batter), I apologized, I had my manager speak to him, comped the meal down to the beers he drank only because it is illegal to comp alcohol in my state, I apologized again myself and even said, "I understand, I have experienced that as well eating out and I was mortified, I hope you will have a better experience next time and I am truly sorry, I have done everything I can to make it up."
Still, that guy wrote a big fat zero and "service was terrible" on the receipt. After his wife and kids ate their meals for free and were satisfied.
I can understand the zero, even though it's not my fault. But it hurt my feelings and I will never forget it, because I tried so hard to make sure that their service WASN'T terrible, that I could make it up to them somehow, I wasn't even expecting a usual tip, maybe a dollar to cover taxes??
I still can't wrap my head around it; I just tell myself that he meant the kitchen service and not me.
I was a Server in college, now I earn a high 6 figure salary, and servers across the US are taken care of by me no matter what!
I think it's funny that anyone suggests that these servers should simply "get a new job." it is perfectly clear from such an ignorant statement that you have no knowledge of the type of people who work in restaurants. sure, maybe they should just apply for some corporate, desk job... that they cannot get. realize that these people don't want to work there as much as you apparently hate them. Servers are essentially working class/working poor, who are people too.
Honestly, I think everyone complaining about servers' sitting down for a second, or kneeling, or calling you "hun," should get off their pedestal. They are people too, so why not talk to them and treat them as such? the argument that they are being paid for this service, so they shouldn't be... friendly with you, I guess, seems really retarded. pretend, for a moment, that you do not believe you are so above the lowly servers that you could possibly identify with them. and stop being so unerringly antisocial.
To say that servers are paid for their work and, therefore, should be working every moment of it in a laborious fashion, is stupid. forgo the fact that they are paid below minimum wage and that your tips are the only way their jobs are legal at their pay, and look to your own presumably high-paying jobs, at which you are undoubtedly sitting at a desk most comfortably. From that, take a break, and walk a mile in a servers shoes(which are probably thinly soled by the miles they walk every day to deliver you your food) you ungrateful, elitist prick.
Actually, we can get corporate desk jobs. I just got one after waiting tables for 7 years, no college education, and no experience...
Most professional servers (and by professional I mean this is not a summer job) are extremely talented individuals. They know just by the look of someone if it is appropriate to sit down/crouch, how they wish to be spoken to (formally or informally) and what level of service they require. Formal or informal dining it does not matter, when you have a good server you have good service. Some of the best service I have had has been in informal settings (Applebees etc). I think big chains are doing their servers a disservice by forcing company policies on them like the ‘you must crouch’ especially for a profession that depends on tips.
Lets see, here is my short list of pet peeves of unacceptable behavior by resturaunt personnel. I forgive most of these in 'sit down fast food' eating establishments, which most are these days; though really they should never do this stuff.
1. Touch rim of a drinking glass or place hand over top of glass.
2. Touch the end of the silverware that goes in your mouth.
3. Point to a table across the room and tell me(us) thats our table (instead of seating us)
4. Ask for a food order before they've brought our drinks over.
5. Bring the next course before the last course has been finished.
6. Bringing the courses out of order.
7. Asking me if I'd like more soda/water/tea/coffee (if my glass is empty, fill it up); asking about alcohol is acceptable.
8. Allowing an ashtray to accumulate more than 4 butts before changing it.
9. Attempting to serve me right handed from my left (or vice versa). Technically food should always be served from the right and plates retreived from the left.
10. Having to ask for silverware/napkin/menu
11. Staff that is running or sweating; if you can't perform the job with grace, you're not doing it right
12. Not asking if we were pleased with the food.
13. And finally, call me old fashion, but a food server should never touch a customer intentionally. It implies a familiaritiy that does not exist when formal dinning is about Formality. Staff displaying familiarity in a formal setting is disrespect.
Try working the outdoor patio section of a restaurant in the middle of August in the South. Heat, humidity . . I do what I can, but it's impossible to not sweat or "glisten" . . it happens if you're sitting around doing nothing.
A comment about #11. The sweat has nothing to do with grace. It's because usually they have to spend time around the kitchen getting things ready for your meal. And the kitchen is HORRIBLY hot where I work. Managing several different tables (which means a lot of time on your feet, not running, but moving in a brisk pace) + working in a hot kitchen = your natural cooling system, aka sweating, is going to kick in. I mean, if a server is dripping wet, yeah, they should wipe that off cause it's gross, but if it's a few beads of sweat, it's a sign that they're really busting their butt for you.
Scott
"Asking me if I'd like more soda/water/tea/coffee (if my glass is empty, fill it up);"
First off, if you don't want to be asked, ASK YOUR SERVER AT YOUR GREETING "Can I get refills without being asked throughout my service please?"
Secondly, do you think servers have ESP? Servers can't read minds and not everyone wants refills. I know first hand even just working at a donut shop as counter help for over 2 years off and on between 1998 and 2002. Some people literally put their hand over their coffee to let me know they didn’t want anymore. They shouldn't have had to do that honestly. I wasn't a customer enough at that time(I had started at age 20yrs old working there, which I had little experience as a customer since my mom always cooked a lot to realize what it was really like to be a customer very often. For tea and coffee especially, you should NEVER just refill. Some people have it sweeten just as they want it, then you ruin it by pouring more over it. Especially watered down drinks from the ice, I would rather you bring me a new one instead of put old with the new just to save cleaning glasses or cups.
Thirdly, even if it's a soft drink, sometimes people change up. My husband felt like coffee, then switched to a diet coke. I have switched from coke to dr. pepper before as well as tea to coke. My husband also has had 2 diet cokes, then didn't want anymore soft drink, so he switched to a water. So NO, it's NOT the SERVER'S CHOICE to MAKE ANY ORDERING DECISIONS!!
Fourthly, NO ONE SHOULD EVER JUST REFILL SOMETHING WITHOUT MAKING 100% CERTAIN IT IS WANTED. Just because you want your sever to be a mind reader doesn't mean the next person does. I HATE SERVERS THAT JUST REFILL WITHOUT ASKING!! It's not up to them, it's only up to ME, I am the CUSTOMER PAYING FOR THE SERVICE!!
Fifthly, WHY do you feel the server should possible waste time bringing another drink only to be told by customers at times they don't want that? What a waste of time for them, drink, money, and time for other customers as well that could have been saved.
If you don't want to be asked, TELL YOUR SERVER WHEN GREETED by asking them if you can just get refills without being asked automatically. Ask them if they can just bring you a new glass each time. That way, even LESS interruption than pouring at your table, which to me, IS an unnecessary interruption of a conversation vs. your server setting a drink down that takes 1 second instead of 5 seconds or so to pour your drink.
NOT EVERYONE WANTS THAT THE WAY YOU WANT IT AND NO SERVERS SHOULD EVER JUST "FILL IT" WITHOUT THE CUSTOMER'S PERMISSION TO!! You want to play the mind reader game as if the server has ESP. No server knows what you want without ANY COMMUNICATION!! What kind of person does this?
Service is all about what each individual person wants in each party, NOT what a lot of people may want, but what the person that you are serving wants. They should ask you. You shouldn't have to ask them each time they come around for a refill. I am saying that you should ask if you want refills without being asked each time around, because just because you want ONE glass of coke, doesn't mean you will want another. It truly doesn't.
I could really give a s- weather the server stands,crouches,sits in my booth or does a few cartwheels.It's all about the food not the server.I want a polite friendly dining experience with the food delivered to my table on time as soon as it's ready.That is all I care about.As long as the food was good,the person then receives a fat tip.
I dislike it when the server asks, when I pay with cash, "Do you need any change back?" Assuming they get to keep it all! I always say "yes," then tip them even less than I whould have before. Unless I say, "keep the change," and you want to have as big a tip as possible, just say "I'll be right back with your change."
Dont be an ars, you should be looking for reasons to pay that college student a 20-30% tip, not reasons not too. Remember, they make 2.13 per hour.
That is your problem not mine. You self-righteous haughty punks are what make this country so crappy. Do not ASSUME you deserve a tip. Screw you and your entitlement. If you don't get paid enough, find another job. Serve me like your job requires you to do and then shut up.
@ stuff
its not entitlement jackass we dont memorize how much your ticket was if you cover the value of a 23 dollar ticket with 2 twenty im gonna assume it was a 33 dollar ticket and i keep the change. if you pay with cash either pay with the cash amount plus tip or leave a hundred i will only not ask if you want cash back if its obvious you do
coming from a server....I think it is rude to ask "do you want change?" The proper etiquette is to say "I will be right back with that" and allow the customer to direct you whether or not they want change.
Also, if I say I will be right back with that and you say, "yep" and then I hurry to get your change back to you and you leave all the change....you're an ass. At any given time I could be waiting on 3-10 tables. I don't need to run to your table two extra times because you are too lazy to say "keep it."
Very good Kayla, when I was a server I always said I'll be right back, and if the customer wanted me to keep the change most of the time they would let me know at that point.
good grief, imagine the time and effort that has been put into this thread. reading and writing alike. get a life...
i suspect people like polls and these comment threads because it makes them feel like someone gives a crap about what they say and think. i read two or three, enough to get my fill
pot meet kettle – you idiot, apparently you took the time to write. What makes you think anyone gives a Sh it what you think?! Seeing as I am replying apparently I did, but you seem to not grasp the concept that you actually took time to write a comment and then insult others for doing the same, thus you do care – you must be a genius! dumb ass
(try this again slower) You guys do know that most servers only make $2.13 per hour and split your tip with the Hostess and Bus boy. So please make sure you give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes it comes out to be less than $7 per hour (less than Min Wage) in this economy.
Blame the restaurent industry, and Congress, for that!
when you leave home expect to pay the tip, or else your too broke to be dining.
be happy with it, or move on and get a better job.
With all the conflicting reports on here (example some people considering themselves "modern" and others "old school", HOW THE HELL ARE WAITERS/WAITRESSES SUPPOSE TO KNOW HOW TO ACT!!!! What one of you would see as a bad trait others would think it's the best trait. Don't dismiss a waiter/waitress simply because they say "hi guys" or hand the check to the woman as oppose to the man. Sheesh, they are in the food business not mind reading.
No one can please everyone in the world. If they have a friendly attitude, serve your food as asked for then be happy, don't concentrate on petty things. Yes I know some of them are just mean and nasty and have zero people skills, but most are just trying their best.
You guys do knoe that most servers only maks $2.13 per hour and split yr tip with the Hostess and Bus boy. So please make sure you give them the benefit of the doubt.
I DETEST when you ask for a LOT of something, they bring you 3. Since when is 3 a lot? I like limes for my Mexican food. LOTS of them. If someone tells you they want a LOT of something, give it to them! Unless some crazy disease comes along and wipes out all but one lime tree, I want my damn limes people!!!
Rant over. :)
Then tell your server how many you want. Three might be a lot for most people. Dining establishments throw out a LOT of food. Don't expect your waiter or waitress to risk getting chewed out by management because they have to trash a lime. Those things don't grow on trees in most places.
I especially don't like it when the staff barges in and interrupts a table conversation for the "is everything all right" bit. They should at least be discreet enough to wait for an opening in the talk. After all, supposedly they are there to "wait on" us, and not the other way around.
Sometimes, when I get asked way too often, "Is everything all right?" I will reply: "What do you know that I don't?" or "What should I be looking out for?"
You, sir, are a jerk. The server is asking you that to ensure that your dining experience is nice. That's your cue to let him or her know if there's a problem. Would you prefer to eat a well done steak that you ordered rare? Don't belittle a person for trying to do their job well!
To C.H. -
On the contrary, getting interrupted and being asked the same question repeatedly and intrusively, is not good service. If something is not right, I will make eye contact with the server and that is their cue to come over. Servers should keep an eye on all their tables, but not butt in excessively. Sometimes I have been queried so excessively that I almost wonder if the food has been poisoned, and the waitstaff is wondering if I had caught on yet....
I sometimes feel bad for all the crap servers have to take from the general public. I'd make a horrible food service employee because I would not be able to bite my tongue at the ignorant, moronic things some customers do and say to their servers. They're humans beings employed to take your order and provide a service, not some human punching bag for you to abuse verbally.
Do women really get that ticked off when a waiter puts the check near the man?
What's he supposed to do. Get out a measuring stick and put it exactly in the middle?
And how do you think the man would feel if the waiter gave the check to the woman?
"Sorry honey but your date looks like an unemployed loser who couldn't even finance the subway ticket home".
The squatting is ok, but squatting too close is impertinent. Sitting down with an unknown customer is obscene. As for the hearing-impaired wait staff, learn to read lips; after all, there's a limited # of items on any menu... Calling mature people "you guys" is the way of all barmaids (better word, Serving Wench). But getting angry because the waiter gave the man the check is petty and self-righteous: if you're truly passionate about this, wear a sign that reads "I am Woman Watch Me Pay."
I was a server for almost 8 years at various places and never heard anything about needing to crouch or sit down to take orders. I'm not against people doing it but it really seems odd that it would be required.
You've obviously never tried waiting tables on a Saturday night after a football game. The noise in the dining room can be deafening. If you're not on level with the person you're speaking with, you just cannot understand them.
As a former server (and one who LOVED it and STILL misses it), I have my list of do's and don'ts for both sides.
FOR THE SERVERS:
1) I was trained to treat customers "as if they are coming over to my house for a meal." I have always tried to abide by that. A little kindness or extra gestures will go a long way.
2) Everyone is sir or ma'am; they should be treated like ladies and gentleman. Yes, I know not all of them act like that, but still....the customer comes first.
3) Do what you can to make it "right" for a table if they are unhappy...after that it's up to managers. I know, I've had my fair share of managers that just slough it off and do the old "eh, just comp their food" bit. If a table knows you made a valiant effort to make a bad situation better, they'll remember that.
4) People will come back if the food is so-so......they likely WILL NOT return IF their service is poor.
5) You're at work...love it or leave it; you chose the job so make the best of it. It's not your customers fault you have a headache or are hungover. Suck it up and WORK. Bad vibes combined with a bad attitdue will lead to–yes, you guessed it....bad tips.
FOR THE CUSTOMERS:
1) We do realize you are hungry and are paying for a service. However, on a Sunday morning at 11am, do not try to bully me by saying "I'm in a hurry." I realize you have a life and a schedule but don't act like you are in a race to get somewhere and then sit and chat with your friends for 45 minutes and fuss about your cold coffee. I'm fine with you sitting, but it annoys me when you tell me you are in a hurry and then camp out. Pick one or the other.
2) Ladies, please.....do not nurse your baby at the table. I realize it's a completely natural act and also a necessary one....but there are other areas you would be better served to do that in. Also, don't snip at me when I try to sit your food down and you are sitting there with everything hanging out and say "I'm a little busy here, do you mind?" Yes, as a matter of fact I do mind! I'm not keen on seeing your ta-ta's in that sense. At the very least, if you have to nurse AT the table, cover up PLEASE.
3) It's far from cute when your 2 year old strings food all over the floor, smashes it, throws it and tracks through it. It's also common courtesy to at least make an attempt to pick it up. I love kids and I realize they can be messy...all I'm asking is that you at least try and scoop up a pound of smashed animal crackers so I don't have to take 10 minutes to try and scoop them up with a Hokey sweeper.
4)It also is not cute when your kid throws a complete tantrum and interrupts everyone else in the restaurant. Don't let your kid run wild...I'm amazed at the brass of some people...their kid runs around the restaurant like a screaming banshee and they had the nerve to make snide comments to me when I nearly collided with them as I'm carrying a tray full of drinks or 5 plates of food.
5) I understand people want to use their cell phones and I don't have a problem with that. I know many people are busy or need to be available to be reached at any given time. What I don't understand is how you have the absolute GALL to give me a nasty look and snap "I'm on the phone" when I make an effort to greet you at your table/take your order/check on you." My time is important too and you are in a restaurant, after all. Those types of people usually ended up flagging me down and I would say "Well, now I'm busy so you will have to wait." Keep the phone calls to a minimum or at the very least, put the phone down and acknowledge your server.
6) You are a paying customer and yes, you should have good food, a good time and most definitely good service. it does not mean, however, that you can act like a total tool.
Sad to say, customer service and manners have really gone by the wayside in the past several years. Waiting tables is not for everyone, but for those who are passionate about it, there's nothing quite like it :)
My brother and his wife used to let their kids make a ridiculous mess at the table and not make one effort to clean it up saying 'it was the server's job'. That kind of ignorance I cannot abide and I'm not even a server.
wow, I don't know where you come from but here in Montreal public breast feeding is a natural thing and people don't get offended (I like to think it's the liberal European attitude we have towards the "naughty" bits), also it would cause a scandal (and it does when it happens) if a woman was told to STOP breast feeding at the table. Calling them ta-tas is childish. If you have issues with breasts (even though you claim to not) than find, but a baby has every right to be fed with everyone else is. It's up to you to not look, I bet you have no idea what colour eyes your customers have, so you have the control to not look, but apparently you can't ignore a breast. Unless you would eat your meal in the bathroom don't expect junior to either. I can't believe that in 2010, breast feeding is still seen as shameful – trust me, the mother is more interested in keeping her child healthy than on what YOU think about her "tas tas"
Very cool post.>>i'd tip you big.
Look if you're a customer at a casual dining place and the server kneels down to take your order I don't see how you could be offended. If you want REAL server then go to a formal dining establishment where the friggin menu's don't say Expresso, nothing pisses me off more than this! Why? Because if you can't spell the !@#$$%^ name of your drinks correctly how good can your food be?
My pet peeve when eating out, whether it's Chili's or the Waldorf, is the server who removes my dining partners plates while I am still eating. It makes me feel as tho I'm too slow and I'm holding things up, or that I'm being hoggish for still shoveling it in when my partner has has already finished. Or, maybe they're short of plates in the kitchen, and need whichever ones they can get! Please just leave the table be until everyone has finished!
I prefer the server remove my plate when I'm finished. Everyone is different in that regard. Besides, some establishments require pre-busing. You're not all that damned special! I'm so glad I no longer have to deal with this crap anymore.
i had no idea there was this scourge of bad service sweeping the nation. thanks for all of the enlightening comments. "i hate this, i hate that." i guess it's been awhile since any of you old curmudgeons have been in a position of service. on top of being a human and being susceptible to the occasional "mistake" or "bad day", a fine line is constantly being walked between what management is asking of you and what you know the customers deserves. i too go to restaurants, although unlike many of the folks on here a good meal served in a timely fashion accompanied by a smile is enough to leave me satisfied. oh, and maybe a refill or two.
Ok, time to change the subject. What i REALLY hate is a server that slings a large tray of food up on thier shoulder and while walking to the table, thier hair, dander, earrings, and who knows what else, gets flung on all the food positioned right next to their head. Serving is hard work, I can excuse anythign that doesn't add foreign matter or body "crumbs" to my salad. Thanks!
Those large trays, they are heavy. Sometimes extremely heavy. The easiest way not to knock people in the head is to put it on your shoulder. It is also the easiest way not to drop it and balance the weight.
Kayla, I know they are heavy and hard to balance, but you have to agree it's not good to have someone's pony tail drug through my pasta primavera. There has to be a better way to serve many plates... how about a cart instead of a shoulder?
Al, a lot of times the space inbetween tables is very small once people sit down. A cart would be nearly impossible in all of the restaurants I have worked at. In fact, the last restaurant I worked in, if there was a larger person sitting in any of the tables in a certain section you would have to walk completely around the restaurant to go around them because there was no space to get through. Not to mention highchairs, car seat slings, purses on the chair etc etc etc...Pushing something through a small space is fairly difficult, if not impossible.
I understand not wanting hair in your pasta, but sometimes using another method of serving your food is impossible. Plus if you saw how dirty the carts are in a kitchen you'd change your mind.
Some people don't have food. These are the problems of snobs. End of story.
Michael, how true. Indeed, there is much more to be thankful for than to complain of.
I think my biggest pet peeve is when people ignore me when I repeat back their orders then complain when something isn't right. Or I repeat it back and they say "sounds good" and it comes out wrong. A lot of times your server can be written up for incorrect orders (I have), so listen to what they repeat back.
Also....
If you want your cheeseburger plain then say "plain cheeseburger" don't bitch when it comes with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, and pickles...It clearly states on the menu it comes with those items. It you are allergic to something, mention it. We can't read your mind you have to be clear to us. We do our best to get your order right and take care of you to the best of our ability. We are on our feet 8-10 hours a day and make about $2/hr (all of which goes to the government and most of the time we still owe them money) and a lot of times work 30+hours just on a weekend. I personally have worked about a 36 hours weekend many times.
Wow. People are so opinionated that they can't see that with several of these "complaints", there are people who fall on both sides of the table (pun intended). Some people like it when a server squats down next to them to take their order and others can't stand it. I love how people comment on here that they can't IMAGINE how a server would think someone would be okay with that, and then three other people say that they prefer it. I'd hate to have you as a coworker or a boss, or heaven forbid be dating you; if you're so opinionated about something so small and can't put yourself in someone else's shoes, good luck with life.
And those of you complaining that you can't stand when a server asks whether or not you need change can just stuff a sock in it. Have you ever waited a while to eat in a restaurant? When a server knows the customer doesn't need change, it saves them two trips to the table (delivering the change and picking up the tip). This can make a big difference in a crowded restaurant and can save people time by getting customers in and out faster.
Now, if a server does any of this with a rude tone, I agree that you have the right to be frustrated. But otherwise, lighten up!
My grandfather was a waiter – so I'm always respectful to servers when I dine out. Most of the time I get pretty good service and I don't have a lot of expectations. I really go out for the food, which is why you won't find me at Lonestar or Outback, where it sounds like there is a squating problem. Most of the time I like to dine at non-corporate places. The owners live in the community and maintain a lot of control over their establishment. Food and service tend to be consistent, good and not cheesy. I'd hate it if someone squatted or looked deeply into my eyes and asked me if I wanted to add something. God those sort of places are so awful all around.
Some things I loathe....
1) Servers, you might get away with not writing down ONE order, but if you think you are impressing me by "memorizing" everyone's order at the table...you aren't. You are worrying me. You are making me WANT you to fail so that I can say something about your arrogance. It's OK to write it all down. Really!
2) OK, I fully realize this is sexist, but when I take my wife (and perhaps family) out to eat, do not ask HER how many, and whether we'd prefer a booth or a table. I'm that man (yes, I know, I know!); we're an old-school couple; let ME make the arrangements, etc. Thank you.
3) If it's all-you-can-eat ribs, don't bring me one rib at a time after the first serving. I don't want you to be wasteful, but wasting my time is awful, too. ASK me how many I want, at least.
4) Lastly, yes, I know you know you're cute. But I NEVER, NEVER, NEVER pay more for bad service just because you're hot or flirty. In fact, it is usually to the more plain woman who provides good service that I pay more than my standard 20%–I figure being a waitress and not being super cute deserves a little extra appreciation from me. That's probably mixed up, but, hey, I've never been to Hooters either. (Oh, and I know that the most successful Realtors all seem to be pretty women. But it would just make me more competitive about getting a better deal. Competency, not Cuteness, is what matters.)
As a new physician who put herself through college waiting tables and even waited tables for a year while applying to medical school, I just thought I'd add my 2 cents. In general, the customers I had at an upscale steakhouse were very polite, friendly, and interested in me. Most of my customers asked if I went to the local college and almost all of them wished me good luck on medical school at the end of the night. There were a few d-bags, however, who treated me like I was a piece of dirt and had an IQ of 50. I remember them well and hope and pray that I see them in my Emergency Department one day so I can smile sweetly, treat their illness, and remind them ever-so-nicely that I'm showing them a kindness they NEVER afforded me. That's the best kind of revenge I can think of.
So for you customers out there who think serving is easy or for stupid people- I assure you it is both physically and mentally demanding. Juggling multiple tables at once and getting orders correct and out within in a reasonable time frame takes a fair amount of intelligence. And who knows, the person serving you could be your doctor in the near future. Don't piss them off.
Monkeys are doing the job...Monkeys!!! I've had a waiter at a so called upscale steak house walk up to my table with his zipper down (although this may seem like a valid arguement for waiters to sit down at my table I still must disagree with this poor management policy), I'd think even a monkey would remember to zip up before taking my order. All I could think about was if he forgot to zip up did he also forget to wash up after he did his buisness.
Once I had service that I thought was unacceptable, but amusing none the less. The server answered his cell phone on his way to the table. He finished his phone call at my table. Then he explained that the phone call was from his friend’s mom. The server and the friend were in a frat together. He goes onto explain that the friend got arrested the night before, for something drug related. The kid could have stepped straight off of the Jersey-Shore. To top it off, at times he was flirting with my girlfriend. This kid had no bondaries,. I didn't bame him, I blamed management. What where they thinking letting this kid interact with customers? I don't care if it was a casual restaurant in a college town. Actually I really didn't care, I thought it was ammusing that he was so outside the box and apparently out of touch with reality.
My biggest pet peeve about dining out is when a server places the man's plate in front of him before placing the ladies late before her. The old adage "Ladies first" works here.
But what is there is an older gentleman–say, a grandfather–taking his granddaughters out to lunch?? Ladies first or respect the elderly??
You carry food from the kitchen to my table and thats it... and you expect 20+% of the cost of my overpriced food prepared by fresh out of prison "chefs". Get over yourselves. I really don't care if you aspire to be a doctor, actor, or auto mechanic, currently you get paid to carry food to my table. You're no genius or conversational beacon of light, just get my food from the kitchen and bring it to my table. Don't sit at my table and expect me to be polite about asking you to get the hell up. I really don't care if it's company policy or not. Here you go, in Japan they actually have trained monkey waiters here's the link for you to see for yourself...http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/monkey-waiters/eebe61327cbabc4fabe4eebe61327cbabc4fabe4-55961190697?q=japanese%20monkey%20waiters%20video&FORM=VIRE2. And quit calling yourselves servers your a waiter/waitress. I'll take a monkey waiter over some moron who thinks he's the next Al Pachino any day.
Wow you're an ass. I hope servers routinely spit in your food. I only pray one day that your only financial option is to wait tables. Then you'll see.
I'm a lawyer..spitting in my food would only excite me!
Haha touche! The few times I've witnessed it, the customer had no idea though... so good luck proving it!
If we abolish the tipping system, the cost of your meal is going up at least 20% – probably more since the owner of the establishment is going to have to pay minimum wage. Now close your eyes and imagine the quality of your dining experience...
Correction. The owner of the establishment will have to pay a lot MORE than minimum wage. Nobody is going to take your shit for minimum wage.
I did not realize that you had to compensate monkeys for their time.
Waiters do indeed do much more than ferry food from the kitchen to the table. did they take your order? Put in in correctly? Bring your beverages in a timely manner? keep said beverages full? conduct your entire experience in a timely manner? these are some of the things you should consider before speaking about which you clearly know nothing about. i doubt you are in fact a lawyer, but even if you are don't feel too great.... they could train monkeys to screech at one another in court just like lawyers too. have a nice day, although someone of your disposition likely rarely has nice days.
Yes, I am a lawyer. I have a 92% sucess rate of putting murderers and rapists back on the streets only to do it again. Seriously, you're comparing carrying my food and beverages to my table (of which you had no involvement in preparing) to what I do? If it's too much trouble for you I'll write down my own order take it to the kitchen and then pick it up when it's ready. I do make light of what i do, it does seem ridiculous to exploit some poorly written law or procedure to allow some scumbag to escape the justice he (and i say he because it's rarely a she) deserves but it's what i do, but prove to me where a monkey can do my job? I've sighted an example of a monkey doing your job. I can't stop laughing because those little guys are cute and I'd tip them very well for the novelty of it. Not to mention, 9 out of 10 times they are doing the job better than you.
A lawyer? That makes everything so clear. Of course you have no respect for anyone 'beneath you' which from the sounds of it is just about everyone. Hope you enjoy the taste of someone else's slimy spit because I've no doubt you get plenty with your dinners.
As both as server and a 2L, you disgust me.
My turn!! Fie to the server who CALLS ME "GUYS"!! As in "Ready to order guys?" My husband and I are a guy and a girl. Can't you bring yourself to just call us "folks"?
Why not write about how to be a good patron. Here a very important tip: On Friday/Saturday night or any busy night at a restaurant, understand that you waiter needs keep tables moving in order to make money. Consider not staying all night 3-4 hours without leaving a considerable tip in excess of 20%; it is a dining establishment, not a board room. Take you meeting or significant other somewhere else.
Sure...let's bring back "booth rent," like in the 50's and 60's again...
Ok, here's my two cents. There is a restaurant I've been going to every Monday for the past eight years where my friends meet. We know some of the staff very well and the managers and staff often sit with us...we know them, they know us and know our taste and expectations by having taken the time with us. In this case, its a pleasure and much appreciated to have them visit with us throughout the meal. If we visit a restaurant in which we are not a regular, I am not offended if a member of the staff sits down, but I don't believe its the most professional practice. I'm quite selective in how I order (translated: condiment junkie) and often ask for substitutions and extras, so to me, a tentative and alert wait person is a pot of gold and my appreciation of their performance is reflected in the tip. My pet peeve is a waitperson who is argumentative. Please do not argue the concept of "medium-well," if I do not find the food appetizing, it is what it is. Having said this, if there is a problem with your order or your server, it does not mean you have card blanche to pitch a fit in public. Do not seek out the manager without trying to resolving the problem with your server in a civilized manner. Absolutely everyone in any industry deserves an opportunity to resolve a situation before going to their superior. Do not EVER put on airs that suggest you are better than a waitperson, you're only kidding yourself and are the only one impressed by the spectacle you're making of yourself...and remember those lessons taught in kindergarten, say please and thank you -and mean it. If you cannot afford to tip appropriately, keep your behind home. Happy dining and serving everyone!
One more reason why I prefer eating at home, I'm always able to make exactly what I want to eat, I don't need to deal with any waiters and its all at a fraction of the cost!
The reason the waiters and waitreses squat down is because they have a hearing issue while standing up. Trust me I have been in enough restaurants to tell. My pet peeves while eating out is quality of beef. I find it increasingly hard to find a half way decent steak for the highest price on the menu. The other is I expect the waiter or waitress to make one stop by to check on both of us at the table. Then at least one or two how is everything and do you need another drink stops. Tips to waiters and waitresses leave the couples alone, the ones with kids check on more often.
I used to be able by myself to keep a large dining room going for the entire breakfast by myself as a cook, at least 30 tables non-stop and a drive thru, with waitresses wizzing around me. Was a fun second job and always got nice comments on how fast I was and how full I could keep it. Place was sold out under me as a Hooters blah, guy ended up with a bunch of cash, at least someone got it. It was called Kroners smokehouse I think. Only thing that really bugged me on the menu was Redeye Gravy, that and the barbqued stuff. I have asthma and cant deal with it. Thats why I did only the breakfast :)
A Server sitting down to make eye contact is sooooooooo much better than a weird experience I had once in L.A. It was a 50's style diner and our waitress told us a bunch of horrible dirty jokes...the ones you say "HA HA oh wait what? EW!!" to. It was a bunch of us girls, she was trying to connect a little too hard. I would've enjoyed her just sitting down with us than her alternative technique. lol!! We still tipped her 30%.....'A' for effort, right???
If it's restaurant policy to squat or sit with customers when taking orders, then fine...can't do anything about that and the servers at these establishments are excused. However, I was once at a restaurant where it wasn't required and no one else did it except for our server and to be honest, it was annoying.
If there are any restaurant owners/mgrs. here, honestly, it's not a good idea to implement the squatting/sitting deal because more often than not, the customer is NOT going to like it.
wow ... i hope the wait staff spits in your food this weekend
As a server, one of my biggest pet peeves is when tables argue over who's paying the check- if you're being cute about it, that's fine. But if you're seriously getting angry because Aunt Ann wants to pay for everything, get over it. I don't know how to respond to 3 different credit cards being shoved in my face, and then the customers who didn't get to pay are snippy with me for the rest of their time there. Honestly, I take the first card/cash that's handed to me. It's a night out- just enjoy it!
Wow, I don't have the time to read all of these, but there are a bunch of narcissistic whiners here. There used to be a time when servers just took orders and served the food. Then, people complained about the servers not being "nice" enough, or whatever. Now that they are told (as by their job descriptions) to pander to the clients (be nice, make them feel special, etc.), the people are complaining about that! A total reflection of our society. The people who provide services (even outside of the restaurant industry) should unite and tell the people, if you can't handle not being pampered, take off! If every business did this and moved to the side of their employees, there would definitely be a change in attitudes of the "always right" customer. Shameful.
Reading the various comment threads (as well as this article) I think it's a little funny and very sad that there is such animosity between servers and customers. I have been on both sides of the booth many times, and personally, I believe in cutting people a little slack. Yes, you're paying for the meal and have a right to expect good service, since that's part of what you're paying for, on the other hand, servers aren't slaves or robots, they're real human beings with human errors, bad days, and forgetful memories. As long as someone is honestly trying to provide good service, who cares if they ask how "we're doing" or squat down at your table. My mother always reminds me to look at people with my "Jesus Eyes," and while this is obviously a religious phrase my mother picked up somewhere, you don't have to be religious to practice this – it only means looking at people with compassion, kindness, and understanding – you never know what's going on in another person's life. I'll get off my soap box now ;)
By casual read of these posts, and in no particular order, the top customer peeves seem to be: 1) addressing customers as "you guys"; 2) asking customers how "everything is tasting"; and, 3) a food server crouching or sitting next to a customer when taking an order. The top provider (i.e., food server) replies seem to be: 1) the peeves are petty (i.e., not important); and, 2) the peeves are invalid if customers have never been providers. It seems to me that producers would do well to take seriously the peeves of customers, that the provider's replies reveal an inability to turn complaints into satisfaction. Consequently, customers would do well to take their peeves directly to management which is either the source of the problem and/or the entity that can fix it.
I worked as a server during my time at school. Hours were short and the money was good. It was a fun job for that time in my life, then I graduated. I now own my own business and carefully observe the way prospective clients and partners treat the staff at restaurants. I pay the bill as it is a business expense. To this day I'm still surprised at how some people treat the servers. Usually, the way they treat the staff is a good indicator of how they treat other people in general. If you are rude and impolite it makes me wonder how you will treat our future business together. From placing blame to promptness of our meeting it really shows what kind of attitude you really have. I do generally tip from 15-20%, unless service is really poor. To those who look at servers as servants, be warned that the way you treat people in public is being noted by not just the server and you. Those servers could be your future lawyers, mechanics, or teachers. Many times over people are surprised at what a small world it is, don't underestimate that.
my favorrite – are you still working on that? is this cow still chewing its cud? http://www.funfriends.com
This writer sounds like a complete jack ass. I hate sitting next to people or dining with people who complain the entire time or look for something to bitch about.
I love the dialogue going on! I never waited a table until after I had a Masters degree. Bored, strapped for cash, I took a job at a 5 star hotel, 4 star restaurants. I can see this whole ploy from both angles. F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote; “you can tell a lot from the window that you are looking through.” The window on the doors between the kitchen and dining room, were made of cheap plexi-glass. There is kind of a façade behind it all. It was a stressful, but easy and enjoyable job. Frankly I felt like I was a tad over-paid for the job. I felt like a lot of the servers were ungrateful, and didn’t realize how well, they had it. Can we say easy money, and fast cash? They’re not teaching, it’s not rocket-science, but a lot of work, fast-pace, and stress, yes! Status and classism, comes into play in a society with a growing service industry. This I do not see as a bad thing, it helps the current of currency to go around. As long as there is a mutual respect, everything is fine. You get the costumers or “guest” that quickly want to put you in your place, if they have some sort of insecurity. For the most part all was well and fine, and went harmoniously. Being humble to serve, and humbled to be served I think is key. A lot of servers feel like sense they are serving, you must be a master. This can be a good or bad thing, depending on the server, and “paying” customers attitude. I can appreciate a fine restaurant, but personally I enjoy casual restaurants. It’s just food! I’m not being ignorant; I understand aesthetics and difference in taste. I understand that food is not just food, like a car is not just a car, that in a hyper-reality they also represent a sense of status. Personally things that are unauthentic and too much of a mirage make me uncomfortable. If I go out to eat, I want to eat. I want the server to do their job, but not to overdo it. I want to be left alone for the most part, and enjoy my company and the food. How they do their job, sit down, kneel, I don’t care. Different restaurants and people have their own (hopefully unique) style. I’ll usually tip slightly over 20% knowing they will appreciate the money, and are doing a job, in which case they should be compensated for. At the end of the day it comes down to respect on both sides. We’ve all been dealt different cards. Rather fair or not, that’s just life and the way it is. You can make good money serving, and then go out, and be waited on yourself. As a lot of servers do, and appreciate good service to the 9th degree. Let’s not pretend that we are so different based on if we are sitting at the table or standing. I’m also conscious of the fact that I have horrible grammar for a somewhat educated person.
"How's everything tasting?" is my pet peeve. Maybe because I'm an English teacher, and it's YOU doing the tasting NOT the food.
I'm cynical and find a lot of wait staff irritating, but this writer is just pathetic. This article would have been better received if it balanced the piss-poor behavior of some wait staff with the rude and self-centered behavior of many customers. I have never worked in the food industry and have zero desire to do so, but this also gives me a certain level of respect for the people who are on their feet for hours, waiting multiple tables, and bringing food to self-centered blowhards who can't see past the little 3' x 3' kingdom that they will occupy for a fraction of that employee's shift. Seriously, get over yourself.
For the waitstaff in the previous comments, don't sit at the table. If your manager is telling you that you should, but it makes you uncomfortable, find a higher-end place to work. Your instincts are correct and you'll make better tips, anyway.
Once when I was a waitress, I used to hate it when customers would tell me they were in a rush. It's as if somehow I was responsible for how fast a cook could make the food. Yeah sure, I can tell the cook to hurry the heck up, but if he's backed up, I can't do anything about it. I've had customers tell me I was a poor waitress because of this, and people not even tip because it was mea culpa.
I don't expect a servant when I go out to eat. These people are doing their jobs, which is to make sure that you get your food and drink and have everything else (napkins, condiments, check, etc.) that you need. They're not there to lick your boots.
And honestly, if a server is outgoing, playful, or joking–or if he has the sheer audacity to sit down and treat me like a friend and equal (instead of yet another problem he has to deal with before he can clock out for the day)–then he is probably going to get a bigger tip from me. (I might even buy them a drink, if it's allowed.) I like nice, friendly people. My husband and I have no problem tipping average servers who get the job done adequately in a timely fashion, but it's the outgoing ones that we remember, request in the future, and tip generously so that they'll remember us as well.
Also, I'm willing to wager that most of these bitchy people who look at the waitstaff as their own temporary servants are horrible tippers, too.
I believe we have exhausted the 'stand, kneel, or sit' discussion.
As a server with more than 15 years experience, fine-dining and casual, a small pet-peeve of mine is when a 'wait to be seated' sign is posted and customers sit wherever they want. What they don't understand is that many times, sections are being closed down, certain servers are needing customers, or sections have been reserved. This is and will always be an annoyance to wait staff.
Secondly, and how do I say this politely, stressed out moms are the worst customers in the world. I do whatever I can to make their experience enjoyable but usually, the moment she walks into the restaurant, every employee knows that this particular mom is going to cause trouble. She believes, and rightly so I suppose, that the world revolves around her and her children. Unfortunately, she will stop at no expense or tread on any person that gets in her way. I should also add that they are usually white. (I am white btw)
Too many listed here to read all, but I have a pet peeve of mine. Dinner comes to $10.00. The waiter gives you the bill. You put a $20.00 bill down, and they say, while picking it up..."will you need change with that?" No you Idiot....I'm gonna GIVE you a 100% tip!!!! YES.....OF COURSE I need change! lol.....
Not sure of the purpose of this article, sounds like a bunch of sour eaters to me.
I get the sense from a lot of these comments that the reason some of you go out to eat is to get the chance to feel like you're exercising dominion over the wait staff. Leads one to wonder how powerful you must (not) feel in the rest of your life. They're there to convey food from the kitchen and help you understand the specials... not to be your own personal slaves for an hour. Get over your inferiority complex and conduct yourself like a grown up... if they kneel down next to your table, it's probably to hear you better and make eye contact with you. It's polite, and it's how they do their jobs. If they sit down next to you, it's likely for the very same reason. If you don't like it, don't go to that restaurant. There're usually lots of others to chose from.
thank you, could not have said that better myself.
This just goes to show you that you can't please everyone! Even when you try! I've been in the restaurant industry for years and as a service manager it is my goal to make sure every guest is happy when they leave, and have a pleasant experience throughout. Generally when there are web sites out there like yelp or city search, people tend to lean towards the negative than the positive. Unfortunately the saying "when something is good that person will tell a friend, when something is bad they'll tell ten" is true. This holds true for this article. Just give people a place to complain and they'll do it, and that is what has been done here. Just to remind you, complainers, our GOAL in the restaurant industry is to PLEASE YOU! Might I remind you that the restaurant industry is, first and foremost, the HOSPITALITY industry.
I eat out a lot, and I have never encountered any waiters who sat at my table while taking the order. I would probably find that different, but would not be put off by it, unless they were sweaty or something.
I have, however, encountered waiters who kneel down by the table, and I always thought of it as a friendly gesture. So I don't understand why a lot of folks are upset by that behavior.
I HATE it when a server comes to take your check and says "need any change back or anything?" (Uh, no. My $12.00 check is being paid with a $100.00 bill. Of COURSE I don't need my change back.) I will determine how much the service is worth; the server will not. I have quit patronizing restaurants because of this practice. It is rude, lazy, and grabby.
I recently had a waitress who returned with the difference of my check and the bill I gave her minus the change. When I questioned her about the missing $0.40 she informed me that the wait staff didn't have access to registers so it was easier to just give me the bills. What? You just tried to rip me and your employer off, then I wondered how many people she does to that during her shift. When she returned she gave me $0.50 instead of the $0.40, I guess to appease me. So I left her $1.00 plus the $0.50 tip instead of the $4.00 tip I was going to give her. On my way out I reported it to the manager.
" I eat out alone, and I’m proud!”
No. You eat out and you are angry about it.
What a self-pitying article. I have heard people say some of these things in jest (E.G. The waiter using "we" instead of "you".) but I have never heard or read anything so truly angry about it. If you don't like your lot in life, change it. Don't blame the fact that you eat alone and clearly don't like it on the waiter who reminds you.
Here are my thoughts about restaurants, waiters, service, etc.
First, here is a little overview of my habits: I eat out a moderate amount, sometimes when I'm home, but mostly when I'm on business trips and vacations. Since most of my business travel and probably half of my vacations are solo, I eat alone probably 50% of the time. I favor higher end non-chain restaurants and usually do a little research before I choose a place to eat. I'm 54 years old.
1) I can probably count on 1 hand, the number of times I have had truely horrible food and service. I also can't remember the last time I witnessed poor behavior by fellow diners, waiters, or other restaurant employees. In general I belive most peope are kind and considerate and at least try to behave properly in public.
2) I never tip based on food quality. Did the waiter cook the food? Did the waiter buy the food? No. They take my order, bring me the food, check if everthing is OK (and if it happens, deal with taking back bad food), re-fill my glass, bring me coffee and/or a desert, then bring me my check. That is what I base my tip on. If service is really bad I give 10% and let them know it (this is very rare), If its average I give 15% to 20%. If its great I give 25-30%. The best tip I ever gave was 50%.
3)I go to a restaurant to eat. Its not that important what view I have from my table. If the restaurant is not that full and I can get see a great table I'll ask for it. But otherwise I'm happy wherever they put me (even if its at a counter). Some of my best meals have been at a counter watching the cooks cook. I love to go into a very good and busy restaurant with no reservation, walk past 50 mad people waiting to be seated and get immediately seated at a practically empty counter.
4) As far as waiter service goes, there are only two thinks that really bother me. The absolute number 1 is waiting too long for the check after everything is removed from the table. It drives me nuts. Don't you people want to get paid? Don't you want to free up the table for the next customer so you can get mor tips? I don't get this, sitting at at an empty table for 15 minutes staring into space. The second thing is the stealth waiter who can sneak up on you from any direction and before you can stop them they fill up a half empy coffee cup or ice tea glass that you just put the perfect amount of sugar or cream in.
I must admit that I was somewhat surprised the first time a server sat with me when taking my order, and it wasn't at Outback. I have never eaten there. I have adjusted, however, and only ask that the order is written correctly. The expression "that being said" should be banned from posters' comments.
I treat servers as fellow human beings who are doing a difficult job for relatively little money. It's work I don't think I could do well. Anyone who is genuinely friendly and does his or her best to enhance my dining experience will get a twenty per cent tip.
To me, pleasant interaction with the staff is a very important part of my visit to the restaurant. And, it's what will bring me back. I'm not hard to please. If I've ever had a problem with a server, I don't recall it.
I hate it when they throw down the check before I'm even finished eating. I know your boss wants to turn this table, but for God's sake, let me finish my meal without rushing me!!
I've never been any place where a serve sits down, thats just rude, like Bustacap says, servers are there to WORK and if you need a break, its on your time, not mine.
How is that rude? I have people that come in all the time and tell their life stories to me. I'll sit down not to rest but to listen a hole. A lot of times even a party in double digits will have a server get involved and ask you to sit down so they can talk to you. You're just a loner or overall mean person
Remember that waiters are people too, with most working to make a living like the rest of us. They require the same degree of courtesy that you expect at your workplace. As such, don't treat them like servants, but treat them like fellow human beings who happen to be working at a restaurant.
That said, one of my pet peeves is when a waiter is missing in action until the check is delivered, and then becomes extra attentive (probably hoping to convince you about a bigger tip). You should certainly teach him/her the value of service by reducing the tip amount!
I visited a popular restaurant one evening after final exams. It took me 90 minutes to get seated. The reason? I found out later that because I was solo I was construed as most probably leaving a smaller tip so no waiter wanted to serve me! (Yeah, like I ever went back there!)
So CNN's attempt at a food site and they start off with a bitch fest about dining experiences? Groundbreaking content folks.
My first and last visit.
A number of people here have expressed the opinions that: 1) the complaints posted are petty; and, 2) the complaints are invalid if the people making the complaints have never worked as front-line staff in a restuarant.
As to the first set of opinions, the topic of the article was, in fact, "pet peeves" by restaurant customers. Though the nature of the complaints are peevish (a source of annoyance) that does not make them petty (of no importance). Clearly they are important to the people whose jobs depend on satisfying customer desires.
As to the second set of opinions, a communication of what a consumer wants is perfectly valid even though that consumer has never been a producer. A successful interaction simply relies on the producer fulfilling enough desires to make a profit and the consumer being satisfied enough to pay the price. They don't have to live in each others shoes. I've never drilled oil and refined it into gasoline but that fact shouldn't stop me from demanding lower prices, cleaner fuel, easier-to-use pumps, etc. A smart producer finds ways to understand and satifsy consumer needs, gains business in doing so, and drives the competition out of the industry. A producer destined to fail refuses to listen to consumers and insists their desires are without merit.
While most democrats are tragically hip, white republicans are better tippers, and easier to deal with.
Are you serious? Some people here have obviously never worked in the service industry which is something that everyone should try because it humbles you. I have never been a server but I have worked in the industry and everything mentioned in the above makes sense in the restaurant world. If you got rid of things like checking on the table or offering dessert then you would see a huge increase in complaints in regards to service. They ask if you are dinning alone because they want to make sure they seat you in the right spot and give you the right amount of menus. Imagine if you the first of a party of 5 and you only had one menu. What everyone needs to remember is servers are people too not machines. Treat them with respect.
I think it all depends on the waitor/waitress. If they are a creepy old awkward waitor – no – I don't want you sitting next to me. If you are a good looking, funny, nice waitor – take a seat. I know that sounds shallow but I don't want someone all up in my face unless I can enjoy it as eye candy. Hollllla. ;)
No complaints towards the patrons. Everybody is different; however, my grudges are with the alcoholic, and cocaine loving waitstaff. They really need to be more consistent, and even with their moods. If you can't handle your junk, go into therapy, and please stop grabbing my ass.
above is just a suggestion until they raise serving/bar tending/hosting jobs to hourly minimum so we don't have to worry about paying the bills with verbal tips.
/mini-rant
on subject, it's been pointed out that most casual dining restaurants require servers to squat and/or sit at a table – yes, to foster a friendly atmosphere, but also to hear your order. If you don't like it, tell them you are uncomfortable with it and talk to a manager, or write to corporate office via the restaurant's website.
or go somewhere else if it makes you *that* uncomfortable for someone to interact with you pleasantly.
remember – these people get paid less than minimum. if they do a sh!tty job, tip appropriately – 3% to cover the usual tip-out, so they aren't paying for your meal.
and if you think you shouldn't tip because you shouldn't be paying them to do their job, the restaurant should, again – talk to management. this way we can remember you as a non-tipper and not serve your table.
a tip is for good service and BTW – you choose your job, not your customers.. if you don't like working there, find something else
A tip is not just for good service. A tip is not a reward. A tip is a server's salary. I never tip below 20% because I used to wait tables myself.
I actually mind the sitting a little less than the crouching. I can not stand when they get all hunkered down there, then start putting their hands on the floor to support themselves, etc, then they go handle my food.
I guess that I also expect different things from different places. Outback for example, I do not expect the same experince as I do from say The Capital Grill. The atmosphere, the service etc, very different. Outback is indeed more casual. Having said that, I having mixed feelings about it all tho. I can not stand to have a server tower over me either. I like going places where the tables/booths are slightly elevated. That way if the server is still standing, I am not staring at their belly when they stand at my table.
I personally don't mind if the server sits next to us to take the order. They do work hard and I don't mind if they sit for a minute. What's the harm? Hey, I'm out to eat and enjoy myself, not to be uptight reading negative messages into the fact if a friendly, attentive wait staff person shares a seat with my family for a moment!
I've had waiters/waitresses ask if I "want change back" even when I'm paying with a credit card (they don't look in the folder to see what's in there)! That question is perhaps my biggest pet peeve. When I'm asked if I want change back, I AUTOMATICALLY halve the tip amount that I would have given them.
That's ridiculous. Servers are incredibly busy people whose minds are going in a hundred different directions at once. Reading these comments makes me so thankful I don't have to wait tables anymore. Some people just can't be pleased.
see what the professionals think about this:
http://tinyurl.com/36rrvnv
The most awkward part of going to an Outback is their policy of sitting/squatting when they take your order. The most rediculous story I have about this is when I was out with a girl there for dinner, and we were sitting in one of their 2 person booths (one seat on each side of the table). I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I got back, the (male) waiter was in my seat taking her order. Not only that, but instead of getting up and giving me back my seat, he didn't seem to know what to do, so he stayed in my seat while I stood looking at the menu giving him my order. Definitely an awkward moment.
I think it probably would have been reasonable to ask the server to move. Man up, son.
America needs to lighten up! It's only awkward for a server to squat/sit at your table if YOU make it awkward! Why not turn it into an opportunity to have a few laughs with this person? That's why you're out to dinner in the first place, right? You want to relax and have a good time. This person is just doing their job, and they probably would not be squatting/sitting if their management didn't tell them to. Seriously people, remember that just because someone works in a job in which they have to deal with the public (such as retail and restaurants), they are still HUMAN! As long as they treat you with respect, try giving them the same in return. And remember that just because something is going wrong, it doesn't mean your server is deliberately neglecting you. There are OTHER people/situations that can cause delays. But I guess that's America's individualistic society for you.
One of the annoying things customers do are the "monkey see, monkey do" routine. When someone asks for hot tea, I have to drop everything I'm doing, go to the kitchen, find a little tea pot, fill it with hot water, put a ramekin on it with a lemon wedge, put in on a plate with the tea packet, and bring it back to the table (for some reason all of these items are stored in different parts of the kitchen). Almost every time people see how "cute" the hot tea looks and say "Oh! I'll have one too!' Then I repeat the whole process while my other table sits and waits. Sometimes ANOTHER customer who wasn't paying attention asks for it AGAIN! Please!! Just try to order everything at once. We don't always have time to run back and forth like yo-yos.
You "don't have time???" You're working a shift, and it's YOUR JOB!!! Thank god you're not working with children!!!
"Do you want any change back from this?"
Yes, I want change back when I give you a $50 bill on a $23 check! You don't get to decide how large your tip will be, you're not doing either of us any favours by asking the question, and you've just irritated me beyond belief with your presumption. If I don't want change, I'll tell you, or I just won't be here when you get back. Fair enough?
Where have you been eating out? Every server I've ever had that's asked that question hasn't even looked at what's inside yet. Ever considered the possibility that they ask that question so YOU can leave sooner if you so choose?? Seriously...
I agree 100%–if a server asks if they should return with your change when they are taking your closed check holder back to be cashed out, it is not rude, and nobody is embarrassed–why? Because only the CUSTOMER knows what is inside!
Polite scenario:
Server: (picking up closed check holder) Will you be needing change this evening, ma'am?
Customer: Yes, please. / No, it's all set.
Server: I will be right back / Thank you for coming in, have a nice evening!
The above scenario saves the customer time by allowing them to leave promptly if they choose, and other customers as well, because the server, knowing the customer does not need change, can immediately attend to other tables.
I can only imagine people getting offended if the following scenario played out...
Server: (opens check holder at table) Oh, so do you need change for this?
Customer: What, you think the $20 in change is yours?
Lighten the hell up, people. If you demand such excruciating formalities, maybe you should go to a stuffy restaurant where the servers don't utter a peep. And then, when you do need change, you can wait 15 minutes for it while the server attends to the other customers that are waiting, just like you, to have their needs met.
To clarify: I don't get annoyed if the money is inside a folder and the server hasn't looked. I get annoyed when it's out in the open and there's no mistaking the single, fifty-dollar bill on top of the check. This happens in diners, not fine dining establishments.
I have had that happen too and it GUARANTEES that they get ZERO tip. How dare you try to steal my money! That is essentially what they are doing. It is not my problem that waiters and waitresses get paid peanuts. Go to your boss if you have beef with your wages or heres a clue, find another freakin job. Do you also tip people at Walmart because they get paid peanuts too? Then SHUT UP.
I am honestly curious, what manner is the check delivered in? I feel this has a lot to do with whether or not the question offends the customer.... I can understand being offended if your cash was left out in plain sight and the server assumed they were getting a large tip, but if the check is in a holder (and the amount therefore hidden from the server), I do not feel it is rude for a server to ask if they should return with your change.
Why I am defensive: at my restaurant, we drop all of our checks off in closed holders, and pick them up from the customer in closed holders–only our manager sees the amount when they cash out the customer's bill. We ask if the customer will be needing change because if they do, and it is busy, we need to flag down our manager to ring them out so we can promptly return the change to them. If not, the check holder will honestly sit at the till until the rush is over and will be cashed out when the manager has a free minute–often, he is monitoring the cooks and expediting food to make sure everything is up to par.
I am a server and I honestly want details from the other side on this issue.
Obviously, most of you have never dined outside of the US. In most countries you might wait an hour or two for food, signal the waiter numerous times to no avail, get all the wrong food, never get your food, get spilled on, wait hours for the check, etc. These complaints pale in comparison to what others have to put up with. Be grateful that we get such WONDERFUL SERVICE and quit complaining!!!!
I don;t know where you have been dining, but my experience is the opposite to yours. You need to define 'outside of the country.' In Austria, Germany, Switzerland, Botswana, RSA, Spain, Sweden and plenty of others I have had service that puts most here to shame.
In Spain, really? They are notorious for having the worst service in Europe.
I do think most of these complaints are common and justified. It's like when you want the waiter, they're no where to be found, and when you don't want them, they're way too intrusive.
And going by the responses here from people claiming to be servers, I'd say this is a bunch of self-centered greedy lazy @*#holes who don't deserve a 2 cent tip.
I generally give a 15% tip but give 10% for really bad service and have given 0% twice due to really really obnoxious service. Considering most waiters are waiting several tables at once, like the guy bragging about working 10 tables at once, if you're all giving them 15% their wages come out to a ludicrous amount. Two people at most places I eat comes out to $50-$60. Take 15% of that and multiply it by at least 4 tables and you're looking at a ludicrous salary ($35.13 per hour) for a petty job
Your last comment is spot on.
Seriously? Your worst complaints about eating out consist of waiters saying "you guys" and squatting to take orders? If so, then what an awesome society we live in where wait staff do such a great job that only little minor, petty things are leftover to complain about? :D
KT, you miss the point. The topic of the article was, in fact, "pet peeves" by restaurant customers. Though the nature of the complaints are peevish (a source of annoyance) that does not make them petty (of no importance). Clearly they are important to the people whose jobs depend on satisfying customers.
I work at a restaurant, and just so everyone on here knows, the wait staff talks about you behind your back. It's the best way to cope with difficult customers.
...and the stuff that gets done to your food :)
Why on Earth would I tip anything for horrible service? I paid for the food, the tip is for a waiter/ess making my experience a pleasurable one, if that doesn;t happen no tip. They do make an hourly rate, albeit small, but that should be the impetus to do a great job. I am not a demanding customer but hell and gone, people, it is the job description to serve your customer.
On another note, I about lost my head when a waitress took my wife's nearly empty plate (i was still eating and at the time was chewing) and asked if we wanted dessert, when she said no, the waitress set the check on the table; I was not even finished my entree... that was a no-tip kind of day. Look folks, it ain;t rocket science, I HAVE worked in service-industries and I know how to provide good customer service. I am not asking for 21 Club type service at Olive Garden but geez people, think!
Jeez – all of you patrons are just a bunch of snooty, holier-than-thou complainers!! I've never in my life been a waiter or a server, and I could care less how my order gets taken. As long as it GETS taken, I get the right food, and the server is friendly, they're getting a 20% tip – standard. If the server goes above and beyond, is nice to my little guy, and really takes care of us, I'll give them a bigger tip... You people should lighten up – you're the reason that people are afraid that servers are going to spit in their food. And you're no better than they are, no matter what your job or how much money you make. Treat other people the way you'd want to be treated yourself. Children.
a 20% tip is not standard, a 20% tip is earned
I love when people say "a tip is earned". I do everything in my power to make your dining experience the best. even when i get no complaints and even compliments from customers, I don't get tips sometimes. So if you're gonna say a tip is earned.... please... actually LEAVE the tip if its earned.
A 20% tip is standard FROM ME. Unless I get horrible service, that is what I give. Because I am not pretentious, I do not think I am better than anyone, and I know that these people rely on tips to make a living. If you want to be cheap, it doesn't affect me. A 25% tip is earned, as far as I am concerned.
Shaggy- couldn't have said it better myself. The only things I care about when I go out are getting what I ordered, cooked properly and served at the right temperature, and getting it in a reasonable amount of time. It's nice when the server is personable but I don't really care to be honest. As long as the order is right and the server is making a reasonable effort and seems to care. I've had servers who were boisterous and overly friendly, but the only time I've had a server sit with me is at Hooters or I actually knew the person. And I've eaten at Outback (although never again now that I know about their tip sharing policy). People make it seem like it is a foreign thing to be civil and, gasp, friendly to one another, even a "lowly" server.
You should know that in many state tip sharing is the law...it's not always a corporate decision. This way, the busers adn the dishwashers also get a piece of the action.
Really? People are complaining because a waittress calls you "hon", the waiter asks if "your still working on that," or the host asks "just the two of you".....I think we need to add an overly sensitive section to the restaurants. Must really piss you people off when someone asks "how you are doing" or says "have a nice day"...the nerve!
That's what I'm saying....
The only thing that really, truly chaps my hide is when we're seated at a restaurant and the same waitperson ignores us for twenty minutes then seats a new group RIGHT NEXT to us and takes their drink/food order right away before us. The tip drops to zero. Now, I know places get busy, and some orders take longer than others, but servers, always make sure you serve customers in the order they arrived at the restaurant.
I very rarely get bad service when I go to a restaurant. Bad food—sometimes, messed-up orders—it happens, no biggie. I just have one pet peeve. Please servers: I spent ages getting the right balance of coffee, sugar, and cream in my cup (yes I'm OCD about it) don't sneak more coffee into my cup when I'm not looking/not at my seat. Just make eye contact with me first so I can signal I don't want it. That's all.
sounds like some of you people need to work in a restaurant before you open your mouths
I don't know if this has been mentioned but a lot of things people are blaming the server for are management policy. I've worked in restaurants, for example, where servers were under strict orders not to write down the order. Hardly arrogance on the server's part, as some have suggested–just trying to keep your job.
I serve at a country club, and I think they manner in which we serve solves lots of these problems. We have to be very formal and watch what we say- for example , we never day "How are you guys", a simple "hello, how are you" will suffice. Also, when clearing plates, say "are you finished" instead of "are you done" or other things. We're encouraged to make conversation only when invited, but otherwise just stick to the job and be formal.
We usually do hand the check to the male, as the male is usually the member at the country club. However, we always have to serve the ladies first and abide by other "sexist" rules... that's the way formal dining is. Clear and serve drinks on the right, serve on the left.
The people mad about waiters checking on you too often or "hovering" over you should complain to management- trust us, the manager constantly hounds us to clear everything possible, fill water glasses, and check on you, even if it's against our better judgment (an important conversation going on, ect). Otherwise we get in trouble for standing around. I try to just use common sense and be quick and quiet, but I rather have your glass be full and "annoy" you then make you wait to get a refill. Anyway, that's my two cents.
Please don't ask if I want to order dessert when you have just served me my dinner 10 minutes beforehand. Also, please don't swoop in and take each fork, knife, glass one by one as I am eating in order to rush me along- I will be sure to linger much longer if you do!!
Thats not our fault. Where I work, we're required to ask if you want to see the dessert tray, want coffee, or anything else before we offer to bring the check out. Also, at my job we get yelled at if we don't clear anything not in use (but the individual fork knife thing, we dont do. Just small empty things, ect)
oh, quit your witchin and just stay home and cook for pete's sake! don't be a fat lazy slob who wants their pork chops dribbled in their mouth, nasty!
Dear god most of you people are just HORRIBLE. I have read over and over that a justification for treating a server poorly is that they are "working for you" or "are servants". Do you treat your Dr. like shit wen he makes you wait an hour? Do you refuse to pay your attorney if he is less than cordial or does not immediately recognize your needs and comply? Do you demand a refund or a free flight because your pilot hit some turbulence and frightened you?? NO OF COURSE NOT! There is an expectation in this country that servers should be tipped AT LEAST 15% for reasonable service – reasonable being you did not have to wait forever for your food, it came out in close proximity to the way that you ordered it ( oh and BTW SERVERS SERVE THE FOOD THEY DO NOT COOK IT!!!!!) you had to wait a little while for your water, etc – I am not a server but guess what – every time I go out to eat I am nice to the wait/bar staff, i tip appropriately EVERY TIME and I always, always get great service – and have MADE friends with plenty of bartenders ( which of course has other side benefits. Moral of the story, the world does not revolve around you, if you are not prepared to tip 15% stay at home and if you ever get a beat down in the parking lot by a pack of angry, feral servers, you probably deserved it!
OK, Sean...feel free to follow me out to the parking lot. The last time a server did that after giving exceptionally poor service, screwing up the order, and telling us tha tthe kitchen "was too busy to re-do it" I went back into the restaurant with them, said a couple of words to the manager, and that server was fired on the spot. You are not entitled to anything but that which you agreed to at employment. If your manager promised you tips at a certain level, that's their responsibility, not mine. I tip generously when it's earned, and you have no authoritative citation for what is "expected in this country" in the way of gratuities. By definition, a gratuity is a gift, not a right.
Dozer... gratuity is not a "gift" when you're making $4 an hour otherwise. It's a downright insult not to tip, not to mention that servers family could be going hungry because of customers like you who don't see it necessary to tip... why don't YOU try living on 4 bucks an hour?
Dozer, I can tell you're a horrible person to know. If your server provides good service and you stiff them, you're stealing from them. They provided a service that you are not paying them for.
"Bree" and "C.H."
You obviously can't read. Show me where i wrote that i do not tip. Show me where I wrote that good waiters do not deserve a gratuity. and, again, by definition, a gratuity Is a gift. How many times do I have to write it...waitstaff CHOOSE to work in those positions AS AN EMPLOYEE OF THE RESTAURANT, and the WAGE that they earn is what they CONTRACTED WITH MANAGEMENT for which to work. I was not part of that deal. If you want to work where there's more income security, do what needs to be done to get there...don't bitch about getting bad tips when the attitude thaT i've seen here is the attitude that you take to work. You think that i owe you something for walking through the door. You're wrong. I owe the restaurant for what i order....I will give a gift, a gratuity, if the service I receive is worth it...and I will give what I feel that it's worth, not what you think I should be guilted into giving. children are going hungry becausE i don't tip for bad service? No...children go hungry because of selfish parents, bad career choices, and feelings of entitlement. i've worked very hard all of my life, and there were still times wheN i did not eat so that my children would, so don't try to pull that $hit on me.
A friend of mine used to wait tables at night while interning at the fire department. During the day he would receive so much respect, not for anything he had done, but just because of the uniform he would wear. At night, people would treat him like a servant. Working at both places made him very aware of how people look down on their servers. Get over yourselves; if you go in being nice and having positive expectations, I bet you will have a wonderful dining experience.
@ Sean: I agree with the logic that if one can't pay a 15% to 20% tip, perhaps one shouldn't go out to eat in the first place. That is a fair point. But the logic works both ways: if one can't live on a particular wage (regardless of what it is), then one shouldn't take that job. And if one has voluntarily agreed to work that job, knowing full well how pay is structured, then one forfeits the right to complain about pay issues.
This type of argument reminds me of my fellow high school teachers who complain about our low pay; they forget that we agreed to that pay when we signed our contract. We have no right to complain. And for the record (in response to earlier posts), claiming that a customer shouldn't complain unless they have worked as a server is absurd; that would be like me saying that a parent has no right to complain about a poor teacher unless that parent has earned a teaching credential. Nobody could agree that the line of thinking is reasonable.
@ Bree: While I certainly empathize with the difficulty of surviving on $4 per hour, the fact is that unless your boss forcibly coerced you to work at that wage, you did agree to it. And you continue to agree to it every time you voluntarily show up to work.
Your unhappiness (if any) with that decision is solely yours.
Holy crap; if you feel you have had a bad experience at a certain establishment- just don't go back. I dislike articles like this- just an excuse for entitled malcontents to try to justify their boorish behavior towards servers. Wow- there's absolutely nothing more significant to complain about? Must be nice. If I ever get so worked up about petty crap like this that I actually write (as one poster did) that I "hate hate HATE" something as petty as being asked about dessert- please shoot me. And seriously- if you feel 'picked on' for eating solo, I suggest getting some therapy.
Ok, this is going to be a bit off topic...BUT WHAT I HATE is when the food server/bus person will come and take my fast-eating husband's plate while I'm still eating, making me look like a effing fat-ass! I just had to get that off my chest. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to take both plates at the same time??
Whoever wrote this story is an angry, man-hating lesbian, and shouldn't be allowed in public, let alone a restaurant.
I LOVE Dick's Last Resort.....abusive waitstaff, good food, cussing, sex jokes....get rid of the stuffy and get stuffed! Now, having said that, I've had abusive/neglectful waitstaff in the past, and I carry business card-sized rating cards. I rate the waitestaff, then leave the card behind with the tip (or in place of it sometimes, sing I won't give a gift for lousy service just because that person chose to be a waitperson...your work choice doesn't obligate me to pay more).
When a waiter/waitress says "If you need anything, my name is e.g. John/Jan," I feel like responding, "And if we don't need anything, what is your name?"
I hate it when my wife and I walk up, there is no line, and the hostess asks, "Just the two of you?" We are an interacial couple and it drives me crazy. I know 99% of the hostess out there aren't racist (I'm not pulling the card) but everytime it happens I just cna't help but feel like that.
What the hell are you talking about? They say that to everyone.
they say that too everyone, you just feel some sort of unnecessary guilt inside and think that its because your an interracial couple. I bet when someone looks at you or stares that thats the reason also. But its not.
What does your race or relationship status have to do with anything? If you walked in with six people of mixed race and gender and the hostess asked "Just the six of you?" Would that offend you too? She is only asking if it's "Just the two of you" to find out just that- if just the two of you will be dining or if more people will be joining you.
Maybe you should stop going to restaurants when you are on the rag! Actually, from the sounds of this article, you might that might be a permanent thing for you.
if i say no tomato (I'm allergic to the acid: my mouth and tounge blisters up)and you didn't write it down, don't blame me for sending it back. I will tell you again why I can't have the toms...DO NOT just go to the kitchen, take the tomato off, and bring the same plate back out (you'd be surprised how often the last part happens) If my party gets to eat while I sit and wait...yeah, not a pretty scene.
With due respect, any restaurant worth going to would only do this if you didn't tell them you had an allergy. If you explicitly tell them you're allergic to tomato – especially when giving the order – your server is much more likely to remember and will go out of their way to make sure there's no tomato on there and that the food is prepared without tomato. If you don't mention the allergy and just say "no tomato," we're just going to assume it's because you don't like it, since that's why the vast majority of people would ask for something like that. Also, I've noticed many times where even if the server puts something like "no tomato" in to the computer, the kitchen will sometimes not see it because they are busy; if you make it clear that you have an allergy your server is much more likely to go back there and say something to the cooks to make sure your order is prepared properly (yes, it should be coming out correctly in the first place, but we're all humans and prone to make mistakes).
Hey, here's something from the servers side... our biggest pet peeves are people who don't leave tips. Especially those who don't, but go like "Thank you very much, honey!" or "Great service!" Really? And we have to pay a percentage of these people's bills as tip-out. And second, those people who never say please and thank you, or are rude and demanding in general. If you get someone who has both qualities combined... disaster. Haha anyways that's my take on it. Hope you aren't customers like that!!
Yeah. Yesterday this lady made me bring the dessert tray out (which is a big spectacle at my job) and after I was done she was like "Oh im so so sorry, I actually dont want anything. Sorry for making you bring that out! You're wonderful!" Two minutes later I opened her check... she left me nothing... -_-
Put your money where your mouth is. I hope you all tip at least 18%. Just do it. You're in the club. And now you have the right to pass judgement.
Oh, it's my turn to sound-off now?
Ok, first thing: when you are greeted by your server, show some courtesy and tell the person you're on the phone with to hold on, or break off from your conversation for the smallest of moments with the person you're sitting with. It isn't that we particularly care to stand around and timidly try to catch your attention, and we certainly are a hell of a lot more apt to do a better job when you condescend to return a simple salutation.
As for after you've first spoken to your server, it is absolutely not 'ok' to ignore the menu in front of you, and force your server to make multiple trips for the order that you haven't even started to think about yet (and if we say it's 'ok' after you've asked us, what we really wanted to say was 'NO!'). Think of each table a server has as real estate: we have only a finite amount of them, and we depend on them for our livelihood. If you want to sit and waste time, especially on a holiday or weekend evening, consider going to a coffee house. And if you want to sit and chat for awhile after you're done with your meal, respect the the closing time and compensate your server for the lost opportunity with a larger tip).
Next, if your drink is more than half full and still tastes every bit the same as when you got it, don't flag us down for a refill. Odds are if your server is good, he or she has already worked getting you a new drink into his mental plan, so there's not really any point in interrupting what he or she is doing.
And finally and most importantly, the standard gratuity is 15-18%, and, luckily, it was made really easy to calculate (take 1/10 of the check and call it A, take A and divide it by 2 and call it B, and finally add A and B together). If your server was polite, efficient and helpful, they deserve the standard rate- end of story. If your family member is in the hospital, if your child support didn't come in on time, if bills are due tomorrow or if you're just plain broke doesn't matter in the slightest. And barring extraordinary circumstances, you should never 'stiff' a server either. What often seems to be forgotten is that a server can count on next to nothing after taxes on the paycheck they receive from their hourly rate (here in Texas I receive the princely sum of $2.15/hour). And on top of that, I have to tip out the people who've helped me at the end of my shift, which- oh by the way- isn't determined based on what I've made, but on a percentage of my total sales. That means that if you come in, I wait on you, and you leave me nothing, I have to, at the end of the day, pay the company I work for to have waited on you. Does that sound particularly fair to anyone?
What a load of $hit. You chose to work for that wage, betting on the tips. If you showed up to my table with that attitude, you deserve to pay to work there. I owe you NOTHING...I am a customer of the restaurant. I will tip when you give good service, not just because you decided to come to work. The world doesn't owe you a thing, son.
hey dozer, have you ever waited tables? im gonna go out on a limb and say no.
you are the kind of table waitstaff will fight to avoid! just wanted you to know that!
"Waiter:"
Not only have I been a waiter, but I have been a manager and owner, as well. A very successful waiter, manager, and owner. And I never worried about the tips...they came as a result of my work, not as a supposed right.
whatever dude, i don't buy that for a second.
Well from that polished English and that classy response, it doesn't much surprise me that you would equate a person asking for what's due to them for a finished job as being the same as asking for a handout. And something tells me that attitude or no, I haven't got a lot to hope for from serving you anyways so I hope you'll save me the time. How is it that it's as simple as not owing the person who waits on your anything? As a matter of technicality, the menu in front of you and the door you came through never prescribed any such measure: you'd be correct that far. And would any consequence be due to you if you just outright stiffed someone? Nope, absolutely not. But the person that's waiting on you, despite the fact that you've characterized what we do as 'taking a gamble,' enters into an implicit contract with you from the moment you sit down to carry out your wishes to their best of their abilities in exchange for a portion of the check. The percentage itself is certainly subject only to your generosity (which is a function of your overall experience and how highly you prize good service), but, from the moment you walked into a restaurant rather than heading to the drive-thru, you understood that the expectation existed by the wait staff, the people who support them, management and society as a whole that you would compensate the person working for you. The gamble, as you've put it, is the level of your generosity and the number of tables you're able to wait on. If I come in and stand around for 2 hours and only make $5, that's the gamble I've taken on business. If I receive a number of tables who split meals or people who camp out, that's also my gamble, but all of those things are to be expected in the caprices of fortune. But it's inconceivable to me, and certainly any other thoughtful individual, that you would tell us that a person should get up, get dressed, drive to work, attend to your needs and be as polite and charming as possible doesn't deserve anything from you. You, sir, would not care for that in your own profession, and there's not a thing in the world wrong with objecting to such hollow character. And if everyone adopted your attitude, there would be fewer waiters of quality and fewer places that make your time out an experience. Do you put a premium on that?
Dozer, servers don't choose to work for $2.15 an hour. They work for TIPS! Is this news to you? You say, 'The world doesn't owe you anything." That's crap! They are providing a service and expect to be paid for it. Do you provide services for 3rd world wages? I'd bet not!
You're all full of $hit. You're hired for a wage, as an employee of the restaurant. You hope for tips,and usually you make them. But don't confuse the issue. if you were really working for tips, you'd forgo the wage and be an independent contractor. What do you have to worry about? If you're all as good as you say you are, you'll have regular customers that tip well and you'll all live very happily. If you serve with the same attitude that I've seen here, you'll all die from starvation. By the way, I don't f#ck1ng care if you believe me or not......you just can't handle that someone who has been successful in the past disagrees with you. If you're so unhappy with your life as a waiter, then go do something else.
I hate it when I overhear a bitchy patron complaining about some inane detail, like the water getting filled up to early or the wrong phrase being used. There are legitimate service issues at many restaurants. Most of what is listed here are not. Get over yourself and lighten up. (And no, I have never been a server).
I was a server for 8 years – sp I am pretty lenient when it comes to the service I get. HOWEVER there is ONE THING that ruins it everytime. When I am out with my husband and I order the bottle of wine, I expect to be the one who tastes it. AT LEAST half of the time, I'll order the bottle and they give to the "man" to taste. I reach over take the glass and taste it myself!!
These "Eatocracy" blogs are sooo controversial!!! I love reading these – people upset about grilling techniques and whether the server should sit or squat .... bhahaha. Good info and a good laugh!
When I waited tables I crouched down so I could hear and so the customer didn't have to talk loudly to give the order. It also help to keep the other guests from being distracted, overhearing the next table. Also, if a guest has a special need they are usually more comfortable relaying that need to you quietly. The big thing I don't like when I eat out, is the manager stopping by the table to check on things. Trust me, if there is anything wrong, I am going to ask to talk to you so don't interrupt my meal and conversation unless you have reason to believe something isn't right (food not eaten, disgusted look, feedback from the server)
One of my biggest complaints is when a server asks, "would you like change?" when you pay the bill with larger bills. Just bring me the change and let ME decide if you're getting a tip. Do not assume that I'm going to just give you the remainder of the $60 on a $46 bill only because I didn't have anything smaller than $20's.
I've had some moments with waiters/waitresses – that don't write down my order. I've asked specifically for certain things, like no onions (uncooked hurts) and mayonnaise instead of ketchup. You know how you like things a certain way, same here. So when the wait folks don't write it down, and then get a case of the arse when my order is wrong, well, they don't deserve their tip. The tip – at least 15% of the bill, is hard earned, so get the order right. Oh and don't give me that look.
I've noticed a few people mention this and I'm curious – why is it a big deal to remove empty dinner plates from different customers at the same table at different times? Obviously growing up, having dinner at home, you wait until everyone is finished, but why the same thing at a restaurant? If your server is walking around anyway (which they should be), it's much easier for them to take one or two plates at a time rather than four or five or six all at the same time. I suppose I see the idea of "table manners" but most servers are trained to remove any unused dish ASAP to increase the space on the table (and where I work, if I don't someone else will and then tell me I'm not doing my job right). After having served for a while, I also consider it bad service for anyone to walk by my table without picking up an empty plate if it's blatantly obvious I'm done with it, even if others are still eating.
JM – I completely agree. Most of the complaints on here are for things that the restaurant instructs servers to do. You shouldn't leave dirty empty plates on the table. I believe that proper etiquette suggests that one not gobble down their meal, but pace them self as they see fit with the other guests at the table.
by the way: when I go to a "family-dining" establishment and drink bottomless coffee while doing paperwork or conversing, I pay $2 for the coffee and tip $5 because of the effort you put in to serving me. That is also why my waitstaff knows me by name. BUT the night I get a new server who never comes back, leaves me with an empty pot for 15 mins, and i can see you chatting in the kitchen, well, your not getting crap........you job is to serve, hence the title or server...My job as customer is to order and enjoy the service and pay you for the product and associated service. If you aren't going to take the time to do your job, then I'm not going to pay you for it. Simple. As. That.
hey, there are bad servers everywhere. there are bad mechanics and bad stock brokers, too. serving well is very difficult and anyone who says differently has either never served or never served well. our goal is to make you happy. we try really hard to do that. we are not mind readers. we're not perfect. you probably have no idea how much bull**** we put up with everyday. you probably have no idea how much bull**** you put your server through. trust me, the customer is rarely right. just remember this: i'm your server, not your slave. have some respect.
Actually we do know how much a server takes. Many of us have had serving jobs. We didn't get the life we have right now, without taking the lower paying jobs to get started. I've had drunks though, that were inconsiderate, but most concious sober customers are decent folks. And I used to make big bucks, by being the best server I could be. You go for the job, do it the best you know how, no matter what. Don't stand there like a certain waitress at IHOP in El Paso, Tx, saying she was truly on top of her game, and then told me not to play with my phone while eating. I glared at her, she walked by our table a bit miffed. Who is she to tell me anything??? She better get her game on correctly – not correcting the customers.
I tip well and am respectful to the staff. But I can't understand why a server would choose to say to me when I clean my plate "Sure looks like you enjoyed that" or something similar. I am overweight as are 1/2 of all Americans ( I am not obese), but no one likes their food intake to be analyzed by other people. This is the only type of comment that will cause me to reduce my tip from 20% to about 12%. None of the other complaints made by diners in this blog bother me, but this type of comment is unnecessary rudeness on the part of the waiter.
I've got one to beat the waiters who sit down with you. When my husband and I visited an upscale restaurant in Nassau, Bahamas about 10 years ago, the tuxedo clad, very proper looking waiter actually put our napkins in our laps (which still strikes me as a little too maternal but I can cope) but then he proceeded to kneel down next to the table with a large red velvet pillow in his hand. Before I knew what was going on he lifted the table cloth and had taken a firm grip on my ankle and was REMOVING MY SHOES! I let out sort of a muffled shriek and struggled briefly while my husband bent over to see what was going on and by that time the waiter had placed my newly bared feet firmly on the velvet pillow. Now I was raised by a Southern Mama who took her table manners SERIOUSLY. At her table men wore shirts with collars and sleeves and no one came to the table with a hat on or without their shoes unless they were still an infant and even they at least wore socks. I know it was supposed to make me feel pampered but all it did was make me a nervous wreck thoughout the whole very expensive meal while my husband tried desperately to keep from laughing at how freaked I was by the whole thing.
awesome!
My pet peeve is being called "You guys" over and over by the same server. They could just say "you" and not be so presumptuous, like the 22 year old waitress calling my elderly parents over and over "you guys." My father thought the first time was odd and cute but by the end of dinner was offended by her disrespect. The term should be saved for peers.
"You guys" sounds like the Muppet show – I'm a woman, I try to act like a lady when out to dinner with my husband. Just saying "How are you tonight?" or Folks, wouldn't be so bad, but I'm a woman, not a guy. Guy(s) is so street level and just sets the mood all wrong. Irritating.
The outback "squat by the table" thing annoys me to no end. Also while there, I asked about a 'surf & turf' and the guy (late 20's) had no clue. My husband and I were having a conversation when he interupted us, every 5 mins, and kept squating back down. He got NO tip. I understand my state says min wage is $2.13 for servers, but i spent $60 on a meal I didn't get to enjoy
In my years of waiting tables, I've never seen a server taint a customers food. Sorry, I can't vouch for the cooks...
I try to be friendly and polite with my servers. I'm direct, to the point and I don't make them fuss over me. I know they're probably working their butts off at a hard job. I've even bought beers for servers that I could tell had horrible people at other tables. That being said, there are such things as bad servers, just like every profession. And yes, I can generally tell the difference between a bad server and a good server having a bad night. If you're condecending, disrespectful, tacky, or just plain rude, I'm going to let you know.
I completely agree with your statements. I try to be polite and nice when I go out with my wife or friends. It drives me nuts and I get embarresed when someone starts a scene. That being said, I recently wen to an applebees in town, and while sitting at our table near the bar I got to hear about the bartenders divorce and how badly she screwed over her ex-husband and how all she was going to do was blow the money on her next trip to vegas and how she......etc. After about 30 minutes of this I calmly asked her to keep her conversation alittle quiter so my wife and I could enjoy our dinner without the real life soap apera. She laughed in my face didn't say a word to me and turned back to her compatriot to continue her story. Since she was technically our server, we finished our drinks finished our dinner and left. Without paying. I know jerk thing to do right but I tried to be the nice customer and i got laughed at so jerk it was.
i would be willing to be 95% of the people complaining about servers have never done the job, therefore i don't believe they should bitch bc it is not an easy job
Just because someone has not done a specific job doesn't mean they have no right to complain. We complain about any number of things every day (the cable guy, tech support, the dry cleaning), and haven't spent one second in any of those jobs. It doesn't mean we are unable to recognize poor quality/service.
I'm sure you never complain about anything not related to your field of business. Come on.
If you don't want to get pissed off by a restaurant/server when you eat, STFU and go to the grocery store and make the food yourself! So much selfishness and whine on this page.
the one thing that I notice my co-workers do that drives me crazy is that they deliver the bill before the customers even get there meal- it's rude and pushy. settle down.
As a waitress, though, I have a few tips on what not to do for diners:
-do not ask for the senior citizen discount after we finish out your bill and then proceed to march to the table to pick up the mere two dollars you left as a tip.
-it is not cute to over-specialize your order, it's actually very difficult
-do not get up and refill your own drink-especially when it's still half full, and even more when I just checked on you.
-do not come in any later then 20 minutes before the restaurant closes. We all have lives. And chances of you getting a waitress with a scowl is very likely
-never tell me you're "going to take me home" or tell me you want to sit in the side dining room so it's "easier to talk" to me. it's just creepy.
-do not ask for the senior citizen discount after we finish out your bill and then proceed to march to the table to pick up the mere two dollars you left as a tip.
I have the right to ask for the Senior Citizen Discount, and if I want, I shall ask for it. You should have asked me first if there was anything else I needed before you filled out the bill.
-it is not cute to over-specialize your order, it's actually very difficult –
I may over specialize my order, its my right, and if you check the menu, you might even notice that special orders will cost a little extra -and if I'm asking, then I'm willing to pay for that. And maybe I want something specifically, you only take the order and turn it over to the cook staff.
Do not get up and refill your own drink-especially when it's still half full, and even more when I just checked on you. So where were you when I needed my glass refilled.
Do not come in any later then 20 minutes before the restaurant closes. We all have lives.
If the doors are open, I have the right to enter even 20 minutes before the door opens. When you are waiting tables, you're going to have to realize that you may be there an hour after closing. Get used to it. You also may have done the exact same thing.
And chances of you getting a waitress with a scowl is very likely – if you don't want a tip, that too is very likely.
-never tell me you're "going to take me home" or tell me you want to sit in the side dining room so it's "easier to talk" to me. it's just creepy.
I can't believe some of these comments from non-servers. My husband and I eat out a lot, at decent restaurants, and we know that servers are some of the hardest working people in the country. They're on their feet for long shifts, deal with rude people, have to carry heavy trays of food, keep complex orders straight, and try to be pleasant through it all so they don't get stiffed. We always tip 20% (on the total, including tax) for good service and even more for great service. Rarely do we tip less, and only if the service is really terrible. We eat at one restaurant in particular pretty often, and we always get great service because the servers know that we tip well and we're polite to them. People who eat out, you should know that if you're a jerk and treat the server rudely, your food may contain more than you ordered. Like spit or worse. I've talked to servers so know this happens. You should not be rude to the person who has your food under their control! Personally, I think that tipping 15% is being a cheapskate. If you can't afford to tip at least 18% for good service, then stay home. My biggest peeve when eating in a restaurant is a server who doesn't keep my drink glass (usually iced tea) filled. My husband drinks like five glasses of tea with his dinner, so I even warn the server when taking our order "just letting you know that my husband will drink four or five glasses of tea with dinner" so that they can keep an eye on his glass. Servers seem to appreciate the heads-up. A final note: servers truly appreciate being tipped in cash, not an amount added as tip on the credit card slip, because more of it goes into their pocket (or so I've been told). So for fantastic service, we tip in cash. Any servers out there who read this, is this correct?
It depends on the restaurant. I personally don't care which one you leave as long as you leave one! Most restaurants "tip out" (dictating how much money the servers should give the hostess, the bartender, and the dishwasher) based off of the total sales, not how much tip was left – so cash or credit, it doesn't matter.
Having 4 boys, I don't go out too often. By biggest pet peeve is when the servers ask my children (who are all under 12 and NOT paying for the meal) if they want dessert (just to boost the price of the check, and a bigger tip). I end up playing the bad guy by vetoeing it (who needs DESSERT after lunch?).
just gonna fill you in here as a server. Most restaurants offer a free kids dessert so ask about that next time. My restaurant offers a free sundae or banana pudding to kids. Welcomeeeeee
When I visit a restaurant, I presume that the server is working very hard, for not a lot of money and is laboring under all sorts of pressures of which I am totally unaware. I could care less whether they stand up, sit down or kneel to take my order. I don't expect to make friends with the server, but I do think they deserve to be treated as an individual and given some respect. I find when I proceed from that premise, it is generally returned in kind and we all have a lovely time.
Servers: Thanks to most of you who work hard and try to do a good job. I know your base pay is small, and I will be happpy to tip 20% for decent service, and more in some cases. If you'd like more, please consider:
- If my glass is getting empty, I probably want a refill. It would be great if you ask, because continuous beverage service will increase your tip. On the other hand, if I'm thirsty for more than 5 minutes you are losing money. If you are in the weeds and can't ask, get someone to help you with drinks, like maybe a manager. If it is faster for my friend to get up & get a drink from the bar than for you to see if I want another, chances are good that you aren't meeting my expectations. And possibly the bar person is screwing you by serving their customers before yours. Tell on them.
- I may order things differently than they are written on the menu, or ask if the chef can prepare something not on the menu. I realize this is a pain for you, but I appreciate it when food is delivered cooked the way I asked. I know it's not your fault if the food is messed up, unless it is so obvious by glancing at the plate that you would see it is wrong if you had looked. If it's that obvious, it is your fault (unless the food runner brings it to the table & didn't have access to the order ticket). If not, as long as you apologize and make a reasonable attempt to fix it, your tip is safe. Your manager may get an earful about the poor job the kitchen staff did, but I'm not going to blame you or lower your tip. Similarly, even when someone else sets the table for you, you should probably make sure everyone has utensils before you drop the food & run.
- I would prefer if you didn't clear empty plates from different guests at the same table at different times, but if someone is shoving their plate across the table to make room I will understand if you do. If it's just sitting there, maybe you should leave it until we are all done. You'll know I'm done because I put my fork and knife together across my plate diagonally.
- When I am alone, do not assume I will tip poorly and give me bad service. In fact, I realize that if I am one person sitting at a large table, you will have lower sales than you could if the table was full. If you provide better service, I will provide a bigger tip than the 20%.
- Sometimes I just want to sit with my family or friends all night at that table. We all want continuous beverage service. Do not give me dirty looks. Just keep being a great server. I realize that you would have had another equal check, and I will tip you double if you will keep being a good server. If you make me feel like you are rushing me, I won't come back.
- No matter how small the bill, whether breakfast, lunch or dinner, for good service I tip 20% or at least $3, which ever is higher. If I order off the kids menu or if I hand you a coupon, you can still make some money if you treat me right because I will tip you based on the cost of an average entree rather than what I actually paid. Avoid eye rolling.
- If I say please & thank you, you should too.
- If my little nieces make a huge mess at the table, I will increase your tip so you can tip out extra to the busperson. Don't worry, just keep being nice and pretend it's no problem. If I don't spill my drink all over you, you should spill my drink or food all over me or the table. If you do, you should immediately apologize and bring back the manager. Someone is going to have to make this up to me. There may be a cleaning bill. Probably there should also be a discount on my meal, particularly if I now have stains, large wet spots, or that item was really hot or cold. If you are prone to spilling, perhaps being a server is not your calling.
- If it's the holidays, and you can keep a smile on your face when everyone is grouchy, you will get an extra holiday treat. If everyone else but me is treating you like crap, please don't take that out on me. Take a deep breath, and use your best acting skills to pretend things are good. I will wish you happy holidays and mean it.
For my one and only true pet peeve, I'll say this: I've been to restaurants with great food and beautiful decor that I don't go back to because the wait staff treats me like they are too good to wait on me, ignoring requests for food or drink, taking care of every table except for me, sticking me at a crappy table while others sit empty for hours. If you think I'm not cool enough to be in "your" restaurant, don't worry I won't be back. But you just missed out on a loyal, frequent customer whose tipping practices aren't awful. Best of luck to you.
I agree with everything you've said, but having been a server, it really is better to just go elsewhere once you've finished your meal. The table taken up is costing the server money they could be making, and the majority of the time, people have already paid out and left a tip, and do not leave more to adjust to the time they sat there. It's just a better practice to only eat at the restaurant, unless it's a party and you have reserved a room or table for just such an occasion.
cnn.com should do an article about tipping. It's 2010, everyone should tip at least 18%.
Word up, it's not The Depression. (Just The Recession.)
I was rencently asked the "did you save room for sesert?" question, and when I replied, "no" the server replied, "I didn't thnk so." Luckily I have a good sense of humor and thought it was pretty funny, but I assure you his tip suffered.
Then you obviously didn't have a sense of humor or found the comment funny.
"How's everything tasting?" Ugh, I hate that one. Also, when a server sucks, then they don't deserve a 20% tip (if any). And I don't care if they are taxed for it anyway ... be a better server.
How about instead of "how's everything tasting?", they say "I hope you choke on it."
One thing I don't care for is when a restaurant adds 18% gratuity automatically into the total bill when the party is LESS than 8. Seriously, i've been to a few places that have done that on a table of 6. Even if the server sucks they get 18% just because its considered it a 'party'. 6 ppl is not a party. Half the tables in restaurants are made to seat 6!
Um, were you planning on stiffing your server? The grat and the tip you should have left are around the same dollar amount anyways. Only people who were planning on leaving little to no tip complain about grat. Next time bring a bus load of people to Mcdonalds and you will be happy with the lack of tip required. Oh yeah, pick up your own food, get your own drink, and buss your own table while your at it.
If the 18% gratuity should be included in the bill for a 6 top, then why not a 4 top? Or a 2 top? By following your "argument" to its logical conclusion, you seem to be arguing that tipping should be eliminated and the service charge simply added to every check. Is that what you're saying?
I see that people feel strongly about not saying 'guys' but how does 'yall' go over? I pretty much can't not say it and I always thought the northern equivalent was 'guys.' Just curious...
I think saying y'all is ok. The problem is "guys" are men. Y'all is gender neutral. I say how is everyone doing tonight? Or hello gentlemen. Glad to have you with us ladies. In any case it should stay respectful. Calling two 75 year old ladies "guys" is unprofessional. Especially in the south y'all is perfectly acceptable.
I think the northern version of "y'all" is you all .. "guys" is informal, you all is proper. But I say "y'all" so what do I know about that? :D
Where I come from (west coast U.S.), "guys" is, and has been as long as I can remember, pretty much gender-neutral. I grew up in Eastern Washington in the 1960s and '70s, and everybody I knew used "you guys" in the same way southerners use "y'all." I have also encountered frequently in the 15 years or so I've lived in California. The only time I've ever thought of "guys" as meaning "males" was when someone made a big deal about it by saying something like "guys and gals." In fact, the first time I ever encountered any discomfort with it was when I moved to North Carolina and my karate instructor would say something like "all you guys...er...and ladies."
It would be nice if people would allow for cultural difference here!
Read the many posts on the topic of use of the term "you guys" and you will see that people generally do not like it when interacting with restaurant personnel regardless of the term being in general use and/or gender neutral. Judging from the posts, it is largely considered inappropriate by the paying customers who are, of course, free to do business elsewhere. As for me, rather than take my business elsewhere, I politely (and hopefully with good humor) express my point of view to the manager in the hope a correction is made that causes me to be a very loyal customer. In all cases (at least with future interactions with me), I have had success and have been a loyal customer as a result. It's a small matter, but in a very competitive industry, small things matter.
Hopefully no one on earth has enough time to read all these complaints or comments...remember that aside from not coming to your table/knowing the menu/taking your order properly/getting refiils etc/ bringing the check/chaneg in timely manner...everything else varies on establishment. Some places encourage you to squat or get eye level with people....clear plates as they are empty...ask if someone needs change...all these things people hate so much are encouraged by places! Please remember that when paying and tipping :)
WOW!
There sure are a lot of people complaining about waiters here who have never waited tables themselves before!!
Sorry to inconvenience you so much by asking if you need change! It must be such a hassle.
I never participate in comment threads, but this article was just too much. Go wait tables during a weekend dinner rush and then come back and talk to me.
AMEN!!
So a communication of what a consumer wants is invalid unless that consumer has been a producer? Both consumers and producers would be worse off if such were the case. I sympathize with the frustration you're expressing, but the smart producer finds ways to understand and satifsy consumer needs, gains business in doing so, and drives the competition out of the industry. A producer destined to fail refuses to listen to consumers and insists their desires are without merit.
I just have a problem with people complaining about so many insignificant little aspects of their server/customer interaction. my server asked for change, my server crouched down to take my order, my server let my glass of diet coke get less then half full, etc. You can tell who has waited tables before and who hasn't based on their complaints and comments. If some of these people bitching about servers spent a weekend waiting tables, I guarantee you they would behave differently the next time they went out to eat.
The people who post these initial complaints have clearly never waited tables. I'd bet any amount of money they wouldn't last an hour. It takes a lot of mettle to be someone's servant for an hour or two, and then get a crap tip because they called you an endearing "hon." Baby, get off your feminist high horse and go get laid!
I'm a server, and there are so many things coworkers do that drive me crazy...
I hate it when other servers ask if you need change when you pay with cash! To me it sounds like "Can I keep the change?"
Just because a guest orders their appetizer, salad, and entree at the same time doesn't mean they want it at the same time. It's your job to course the food properly. A guest should not have more than one plate of food at a time unless they ask for it. Casual chain restaurants are the worst at this. The last time this happened to me I cut my steak in 1/2 then sent it back to be remade when I was ready. Cutting it in 1/2 ensured they would not re-serve me the same one. It's very frustrating watching your $30 steak get cold while you eat your salad.
Don't serve salads on warm plates, and for gods sake polish the silverware and glasses.
Sitting down with customers is horrible! You are not a guest and should not join them at a table.
Calling anyone anything other than sir or ma'am is also inappropriate. Calling and older couple or a group of females "guys" is very unprofessional.
Giving less service to a large party because gratuity is included. You get busy, you have 4 tables 3 of them are 4 tops and one is an 8 top. The 8 top has tip added because of the size the others you have to work for. Some servers give poorer service to the large party because it's the same money no matter what. This frees them up to shine for the tables who get to decide what the tip should be. All guests should be given the same service no matter what!
Things that customers should not do...
Sit down and tell your server you are in a hurry. Just because you are running late for a concert or movie doesn't make your steak cook faster. If you have less than an hour or 90 minutes then go to Mcdonalds. They can get you in and out fast.
Don't treat your server like they are uneducated middle school drop out. Many are in collage or recently out. I have worked with many teachers who had to pick up extra shifts to pay the bills. Keep in mind that some servers make more than you! A server who makes between $75,000- $100,000 is not unheard of.
Don't ask for the check to be split into several different bills. Bring cash, pay as one group.
don't complain about gratuity being added to your check. It is comparable to what you should leave anyways. It just guarantees it for the server. When you complain it makes you look cheap because you don't want to leave the server what they have coming.
Leave the kids at home! Unless it is a family friendly place. If there is no kids menu then they are politely telling you to not bring them. When there with the kids don't ask for crackers. They end up all over the floor and someone has to clean it. When your kids get fussy or cry, take them outside! Sorry your meal is ruined because your kid is crying, but if you stay inside you ruin everyone's meal. This makes them all angry and they tip their servers less! Did you hear that?!?! Your screamin' brat is costing ME money!
Don't snap your fingers at me EVER!!!! I am not your child or your dog. Treat me with respect and I'll do the same.
Don't ask for phone numbers! Seriously the hot cocktail waitress who is flirting with you is doing it because she wants a better tip. She will not go home with you or ever call you. As a matter of fact she's dating the bartender!
Tip! Tip! Tip! If you leave me 15% I might not remember you. If you tip me 20% you have better odds. Tip me 25%+ or 10% or under and I'll never forget you the rest of my life. Tip me 10% and see the service you get when you come back.
When you stiff the server for their tip you are actually costing them money! Some places make servers tip out other staff based on sales. People such as bussers, hostesses, bartenders, and food runners get a cut of the servers tips. They get paid by the server if you tip or not. If your bill is $100 and you don't tip then the server still has to pay these people $5 and got nothing from you. When this happens the server actually pays real money to serve you. If you get bad service a 5% tip is still acceptable. Be sure to notify the manager if service was bad. They will usually give you some sort of compensation.
Just because you are on vacation doesn't mean screw your server. I understand you saved all year to go on a vacation, and you are on a budget. If money is that tight then go to taco bell.
Don't complain your drink is weak. Most places use measuring devices called jiggers. If you want it to be stronger order a double or an extra shot on the side. We just add a drop of booze in the straw so the first drink tastes stronger when you send it back anyways! Mixed drinks are not supposed to taste strong. That's why you add the other ingredients. If you want a stiff margarita then just do a shot of tequila with a lime and salt.
If you are from another country learn the local customs about tipping. Some countries are more than others. Some places it is offensive to tip (not in America).It's very frustrating to have Europeans or Mexicans come in and leave you a $2 tip on a $100 tab.
If you use a coupon for a discount be sure to tip on the original full amount, not on the discounted amount. Your server did the work, be sure to compensate them.
For the record... An appropriate tip in the U.S. is 15% on food and drinks. For great service it is 20% or more. If you are only having a bottle of wine then the appropriate tip for high end is 10% and 15% on low end. Don't forget to tip on bottles you brought yourself and your server opened and poured for you.
Everything you said is right on the money!!
Justin
"Don't ask for the check to be split into several different bills. Bring cash, pay as one group."
Then what are we tipping for then, so we can please our server? That is very LAZY to tell us how to run OUR SERVICE!! We can split the bills every way we want to. I feel as long as you tell your server at the BEGINNING when greeted, there shouldn't be any issues. A SMART server asks and doesn't depend on customers to think about the billing part at the very beginning.
We aren't there to make it easier on you. We are there to get served the way it is EASIEST FOR US. You have a job to do, do it, so quit complaining!!
"When you stiff the server for their tip you are actually costing them money! Some places make servers tip out other staff based on sales. People such as bussers, hostesses, bartenders, and food runners get a cut of the servers tips. They get paid by the server if you tip or not. If your bill is $100 and you don't tip then the server still has to pay these people $5 and got nothing from you. When this happens the server actually pays real money to serve you. If you get bad service a 5% tip is still acceptable. Be sure to notify the manager if service was bad. They will usually give you some sort of compensation."
If you are rude and/or give bad service, then why should we care about you? Zero is acceptable if the service is bad enough and to me, if you pissed me off that much you DESERVE to pay to serve me, because you have RUINED my outing. Think about it next time you take no effort or even care if you bring me the wrong food or overcharge me or whatever with no apology. You deserve what you get if you get bad service.
It is your problem if you have to pay money that we didn't give you if you ruined our outing.
"Don't treat your server like they are uneducated middle school drop out. Many are in collage or recently out. I have worked with many teachers who had to pick up extra shifts to pay the bills. Keep in mind that"
Don't act like you are dumb then by bringing out completely wrong food or something stupid like that. Act like you are that smart. Most of the time, your server doesn't try their best and brings out something obviously wrong all because they didn't verify WHAT they were bringing you. You will get treated with more respect if you TRY YOUR BEST such as writing down every order and request given.
"If you use a coupon for a discount be sure to tip on the original full amount, not on the discounted amount. Your server did the work, be sure to compensate them."
Depends on the service and what kind of discount it was. A $5 off 2 entrées coupon for example honestly may give the server an extra buck of tip, but if the price is lowered due to the coupon, it's just as fair when prices are raised due to inflation, that now you get more tip, so be fair by letting people tip on the discounted amount when the price of the food is a little less. I am not talking about huge discounts like $20 or something like that. I am talking about making the price of the 2 entrées go $2.50 lower due to the coupon, why are we using the coupon if we have to tip based on the regular price? The entire point why people go to a restaurant is sometimes for the coupon.
Now if the coupon is like $20 off your total bill or something major like that, only if the service is bad would I base my tip on the discounted amount.
What I am saying is, be fair. Things shouldn’t always be in the server's favor all the time. When prices go up, in a sense, you get a raise in the tip, so when prices go down due to a coupon or happy hour or whatever, it is just as fair to tip lower. Be fair!!
I dined in a very expensive, very small and highly-rated Manhattan restaurant just two times, and then scratched it off my list. The reason was not the food, which was excellent, but the dining room employees. On the first visit, our server was new and completely rattled, taking 35 or 40 minutes to even take our order. On the second visit, everyone in the place was so chilly and unwelcoming - from the host to the bartender to the server - that dinner was miserable.
My point is that servers and other restaurant employees provide the main impression that a diner will get of a restaurant. It doesn't matter how wonderful the food is, how beautifully plated, how lovely the decor and ambiance, if the diner is not made to feel welcomed and appreciated. That is your job. So you can complain all you want about being unappreciated by the populace, but you actually have a lot of power in your hands. You can make or break a restaurant.
As a result of the continuing decline in the quality of restaurant service, we have dramatically reduced how often we eat out. Is it too much to expect a pleasant greeting from your server upon being seated? Instead, we often get a grimace or a glare as if we've done something wrong. "Who gets the XXX!" is how the waiter or waitress throws food on the table. Having people who are seated together served at different times makes for an uncomfortable situation. Drinks that often come after the meal is finished. Errors on the bill and etc., etc. We gave up and now limit our dining out to a few selected reataurants and eat more at home. Too bad because dining out used to be a much nicer experience .
What do you call a waiter without a pen?.... busboy.
2 of my biggest pet peeves are when a server grabs your plate thinking you are done when you aren't. This always happens to my husband. Sometimes he will leave a few bites to eat with what we don't finish or to put with our leftovers. What bugs me is the many times they bring the check without asking if we want dessert. I may not ever have planned on doing so, but you should at least ask me.
I don't mind the crouching thing – I can understand the noise thing or wanting to make it right or not wanting people staring at your crotch, but I draw the line at sitting with us regardless of whether it is casual or encouraged or not. I don't recall this happening to us though because we are usually either a party of 4 or 5 and fill our booth or table.
What I hate is when I finally decide what I want, place the order, and 10 minutes later they come back and say "I'm sorry but we are out of xx." Usually it is a component of the main dish, not a side. So I have to take several more minutes to decide. I doubt they really JUST ran out of it right as I got there or ordered. They should be communicating these things quickly to the servers whatever they are out of so people don't order it. Oh yea, and 99% of the time when we go out as a family, inevitably it will be MY order (of us 5) that is either messed up or that is affected by them running out of something. (And no, I don't do a lot of "specialization" of my orders either).
What's worse is when you go to a restaurant or snack shop that specializes in something & that is what they are out of. We once went to a milk-shake shop & they were out of milk. Went to an ice-cream shop and out of bananas. Who's running the place?
But the one that really confounds me is a fast-food order I placed 18 years ago when pregnant. The McDonald's was about 15 minutes from our house & I got it to go. I ordered a cheeseburger, no pickles, no mustard. I drove home, opened it up and it was ONLY bread and cheese. No meat, no ketchup, no onions. I can understand the no ketchup or onions, but no meat? How do you screw that up?
When you remember an order from 18 years ago and are complaining that your order is always the one medded up, maybe you have a problem communicating what you want. Maybe you are so hard to please that your order gets screwed up. Maybe you are the customer who makes the order so hard in an attempt to get a free meal. I have seen your type.
How about all you cheap BAS****S who stiff the waiters? My daughter, who is in college, and works weekends at a pretty decent restaurant gets totally stiffed or left a couple bucks on a $50-$60 + tab. They work darn hard and for some of you blowhards who want to "female dog" about how the wait staff acts....take a look in the mirror. If you cannot leave a decent tip keep your lardazz at home.
I feel ya
Here's the deal. There are angry and bitter servers (or former servers) posting on here for a reason. If a server has 20 tables in one night and 17 of them were OK, 2 or them were rude, and 1 was atrocious, that server will remember the 3 tables that treating him/her like dirt. It's human nature. Out of the 17 tables that were 'fine' there was probably at least one that made the server feel sub-human in one aspect or another. Waiting tables is a humbling job that can wear you down.
Unless you're one of those super-resilient individuals that can shrug it off it's best to only stay in the business until you start getting homicidal urges. You otherwise risk permanent scarring that will leave you a bitter misanthrope.
BTW, I stand by my previous post. If your server gives you good service and you stiff them, you're stealing from them. They provided a service you did not pay for.
Well said!!
I am not one that requires a thousand refills. I can usually have one beverage for my meal. But by the time I'm finished with my meal my glass is empty or nearly empty. I get so mad when the server never asks if I would like a refill once I am finished eating. The people I'm with get their five or six refills through out the night but I don't get one? Everyone tells me it's because usually you're ready to leave after you finish eating and don't need a refill. I NEED TO WASH THE FOOD DOWN!!! Extend the courtsey that you gave the rest of my party to me. Plus I'm not ready to leave the moment I swallow the last bite.
I don't expect to encounter the outback problem since I won't go there due to them playing the corporate john game with regards to the ncaa bowl game.
I expect servers to not hide when it comes to the check. I don't expect them to sit at my table regardless of the place. And do not assume the group you're serving is a humorous one unless they attempting to be humorous. That is, don't joke with us until we joke with you. That way you can determine what level of levity to bring.
Thanks for serving.
"Can I bring you change?" Yes - every penny! I'll decide how much to tip you.
Twotone
My wife, sister-in-law, and I were having dinner at Landry's in the resort town of Destin Fl. The waiter came and asked if we wanted desert in the middle of dinner. Then, well before we were finished eating, he brought the bill. We live in the area but my SIL is a New Yorker and she asked the waiter why we were getting the bum's rush. He said it was because we did not order any alcohol. We don't go back. And we advise others why.
Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan. That's all this article is.
OH MY GOSH! this article is what is wrong with America.. complaining about servers who are BUSTING THEIR BUTTS to make a few bucks. SO SORRY for checking on you, trying to be friendly, and not wanting to keep you waiting. SO SORRY for asking if you're still working on something, cause you haven't touched it in 10 minutes and MOST PEOPLE DON'T FINISH their whole meal. FOR F*'CK's sake we're just trying to HELP you! and by the way – have YOU ever noticed that you're not the only table in the restaurant? you waiter isn't sitting on a seat watching you constantly – he/she is running around getting stuff for up to 7 or 8 other tables. this takes time. if we aren't there when you want us, it's because we're serving SOMEONE else! and if we ask how something is before you've taken a bit – MAYBE we're making sure it looks ok, and you have all your condiments. get your HEADS out of your BUTTS.
also, guess what, we don't work alone. we have chefs and managers who tell us what to do, yell at us when we make a small mistake, yell at us when you ask for something special, yell at us, yell at us, yell at us. have some sympathy!
and if you want things your way – STAY AT HOME!
I can't believe the number of restaurant workers on here who are complaining about the petty little things customers do. You were the ones who chose to go into customer service – what do you think it was going to be like? It's as bad as teachers complaining about their pay when they know they're going into a low paying field. If you want to blame someone blame yourselves for choosing a field you obviously aren't suited for.
Umm I don't think most people choose to go into customer service. You have to take any job that you can get even with a college degree (thanks capitalism!) and hope that you aren't treated like shit by people who think they're the center of the universe. I like most people but some people who dine out are incredibly rude and demanding to an inappropriate degree.
I am intrigued by the commentors who claim that they tip "at least 20%." Assuming that 20% is customary for good service and properly compensates the server, what is the reason for tipping more? Simple generosity? Trying to ensure good service on future visits? A Frank Sanatra complex? I ask because, to me, it seems like paying more than one needs to.
To make up for cheap people? gratitude? Because she had really nice boobs? (just kidding on the last one, I'm pretty well behaved)
Sometimes it's just nice to know you might have made someone's night... And it DOES make me feel like Jimmy Conway.
Honestly, this whole article just steamed me. I'm not a server anymore (since last year), but all of these little "pet peeves" listed are things that we are required to do as servers.
I understand – there are flat-out some stupid, forgetful, "i-don't-care" attitude servers. And there are the ones that are overly buddy-buddy-ish and trying way too hard (and they're usually the ones who get the promotions, of course). But then there are the cool servers who just want to make your dining experience as pleasant as it CAN be under whatever circumstances, even in crappy chain restaurants.
Almost every single complaint on here obviously comes from someone who has CLEARLY never waited tables and has no clue of what goes on behind the scenes. Even the best servers can get on your nerves, just as even the nicest customers can get on ours.
Not every customer is the same, some want to have a waiter hovering over them, some will gripe you out just for coming over ONCE to disturb them while they eat. Some want refills the MOMENT they take a drink, others will literally PUT THEIR HAND over their glass until it's completely empty. And when someone wants a refill, keep in mind there's probably 3 other tables that your server is covering who probably all want extra sides of butter, ranch, and simultaneous refills of their Diet Cokes, so please be PATIENT.
It's not like servers are just standing around doing nothing when we're "NOWHERE TO BE FOUND" when the check needs to be paid, we are constantly running back and forth delivering food, and especially in a chain restaurant atmosphere, the managers will get on your a** if you don't constantly help others out in the "teamwork" atmosphere.
The peeves listed here are all usually things enforced by management. We just want to earn our money the same as anyone else, and it's really hard to when you deal with picky heartless people who make your run your butt off only to stiff you when you tried your hardest.
Long story short, I could think of a few items for a "we servers wish you wouldn't do this" list that could be TWICE as long as this article. So please, above all, BE PATIENT with your server. You don't know if they could be brand new or if it's just a super busy night, if they've been on their feet for 12 hours, you just have no clue. So if they slip once in a while or grate your nerves but they are an overall good server, tip them well, at LEAST 20%, folks.
Okay, so if a server does NOT crouch down by your table; and then screws up your order- it's most definetly his fault because he couldn't hear you. right?
I strongly dislike when I put the check with payment on the table to be picked up and am asked, "Would you like change?"
Sorry, but it is up to me whether you get my change or if I want it. Just bring it back to me and then I'll decide.
I know from my experiences during undergrad and then grad school when I waited tables that it is easier to not have to make change, but I always made sure I said, "I will be right back with your change." If someone wanted to tell me to keep it, that was their prerogative, not my suggestion.
Does anyone else feel absolutely insulted when you are at a table and the server calls you a guy. IE. Can I get you guys anything else. I will be right back with your check guys. Excuse me. I am a woman. I have breasts. Don't call me a guy. Ma'am, Miss, almost anything but "guy".
No. That's utterly petty.
Ingrid:
Thank You for having breasts for "Us Guys" to enjoy. We love 'em.
I used to be a server and would often dream about working at Ed Debevic's (a restaurant based out of Illinois where it is traditional for servers to be rude to guests and guests to be rude back) so that I could speak my mind. To all the servers out there, wouldn't that be great?
Nope.
yep. the customers are rude anyway why not be able to reciprocate
The thing is everyone likes different behaviors and everyone has different behaviors. What one table may like another might not. It is ridiculous to try and list what you don't like about going out to eat and expect someone, anyone, or everyone to adhere to your personal preferences. The privilege to go out to eat should be enough for you to overlook minor character idiosyncrasies that aren't to your liking. Stop complaining and put a fork in it already.
I was a restaurant server/bartender and a country club service director. I can say that I do really appreciate great service. We are often a "Chatty Cathy" table and I do recognize that I might be monopolizing your time. I also tend to be a lingerer at the table, enjoying a cup or two of coffee after dessert. Basically, even having been a server I do a lot of the things that really annoyed me when my clients did them. But, I always reward my server's patience. 9 times out of 10 I'm going to order appetizers, have alcohol, order dessert, have that extra $3 cup of coffee afterwards. (you might not realize it but servers have goals for how much sales per person they are supposed to have and can get bonuses for having higher per person totals). I also have been known to leave 100% tips when I've just been blown away by the server (you can also get al ong way with tips to your host/greeter and the bartender if he makes you a drink before you are sat at your table..and please oh please don't forget the coat check people). Usually, though I leave somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 – 30%.
But, this isn't a love fest...I've embarrased the hell out of my spouse by asking a manager if my server had already left for the evening after waiting an extrordinary amount of time for a check (over 30 minutes); I have sought out the manager when our two-top has been ignored and a neighboring two-top of single ladies or men has been fawned over. I think that a client has every right to speak up for themself if they have been slighted or the server has been grossly negligent....I also think the complainer has a responsibility to to accept the apology of management and give the restaurant another try. FInally, I do agree that your negligent server doesn't deserve to go "In the Hole" to serve you. Tip around 5% for bad service and trust me they don't make anything off of it (it will only cover their taxes and 3% tip out to the bar and hostess).
I've eaten in restaurants all over Europe and in the US. They are very differnt styles of serving and I like both. No matter where you are your server should add to, not take away from your experience...and, I don't mind a little "you guys" and "hon" when I'm eating be it a diner or 5 star..they are just being friendly.
When did 15% become the "base" for tipping? Back in the day, it was 10%. If service was above average, 15% and if the service was outstanding, 20%. Even so, I tend to overtip, but believe me, if I am not happy with the service, it will be 10% unless service was REALLY bad, then I will leave nothing AND ask for the manager. One thing I don't understand at all is how some people will use mistakes as an excuse to leave a bad tip. The only time I will use a mistake as a reason to leave a poor tip is if the server handled it poorly. For example, if the wrong dish is brought to the table and the server cops an attitude when asked to resplace the dish with the correct one. Attitude is everything and definitely played a role in a situation when I asked why the restaurant was so cold, was there a problem with the furnace? The response was, "um, because we're at 9000 feet?" in a very sarcastic tone of voice. My husband and I got up and walked out without placing an order and without paying for the drinks we were served and didn't drink. You see, we lived at 10,000 feet and managed to keep our house warm enough to be able to take off our coats and didn't think we were being unreasonable when we asked about the temperature in the restaurant.
I'm a polite customer and I tip well when deserved. One of the best waiter-experiences I remember to this day is when he took our order and didn't say a single word till we left, but kept our glasses full without asking, brought condiments and extra napkins immediately when asked. Not a single word throughout. Good SERVICE, is what we got, period. I don't need to be chatted up with small talk and fake smiles that don't match your awful service.
What you don't get is that for everyone who thinks like you... there are 20 who will think that waiter was cold, rude and unpleasant. And will penalize him for it. My father is a chatty cathy patron. He spends lots of money on food and drinks including alcohol and he likes to talk to the wait staff. He would absolutely hate that type of service. How is a waiter supposed to know when you first walk in the restaurant what type of patron you are.... As someone else mentioned bring a list of instructions to the waiter how you would like to be treated.. otherwise they are not mind readers.
You have a good point, Susy. I would imagine, however, your father would be the type that would easily present himself as a customer that loves that type of interaction. As to that, the server need not be a mind reader but should be expected to reciprocate to that needs of that customer. I would gamble, and my circle of friends agree, that 9 out of 10 customers would be perfectly satisfied with a server who attends to their DINING needs flawlessly with not much else but a smile.
The author mentions, "When they ask 'how is everything' before you've taken a bite. I usually look at my fork and say, "well, the silverware appears to be clean."
I also hate it when they make rude comments about how much I've eaten "Wow, you didn't like that much did you" or "Sure you weren't hungry" or "Wow, you ate that whole thing?"
Yeah, guess what. On a Friday I often don't have time for a lunch break so I'm starving come dinner time. And yes, I WILL eat the whole thing if I want to. If anyone ever asks me questions like that I NEVER leave a tip – except to tell them how rude they are by writing a note to them on the receipt.
A lot of the things on this list are pretty snooty. Seriously get over yourselves. You don't like them asking if you've saved room for dessert? How would like that phrased? "Now that your done stuffing yourself to bursting, would you like to cram some sugar down your piggy little gullet?"
So you're mad they had to ask who had the salad? Or covered up their embarrassment with getting it wrong? If they make the mistake either way, they are damned.
I will agree with commenting about you finishing your food, though with the servings the way they usually are that's a rarity for me.
AGREED!!! People, please get over yourselves. I'm pretty surprised by how snooty/selfish most people on this board sound like... Servers have an incredibly hard job, and I think customers should be more respectful- just because they're there to serve you doesn't make them any less human!!!!!!
We dine out often, I really don't care if the waiter kneel's, sit's whatever. I have seen it done at many of the restaurants everyone has mentioned. As long as you are not a creepy looking server it's fine:) What I do care about is that you get my order right, keep my drink filled, and not bug me every 5 seconds, all you need to do is swing by every so often, if I need something I will let you know. It's not pretty when I talk with my mouth full, so why do you keep asking me Sh@T while I am eating. Some polite conversation is fine, but I don't want hear about your life or your kids etc or more than one joke, no matter how much of a comedian you think you are.
As a server and as I customer I know that all of these issues annoy someone however, alot of the issues are things some people like or don't care about. From a server's perspective its all about reading the customer to see what kind of person they are and how they want to be treated while in the restaurant. Some customers like to be joked with and treated very casually while others want nothing more than simple service. While from a customer stand point you need to realize that the server is doing the best job they can under the circumstances (most of the time, some servers are acctually terrible). If you tell us you are not ready to order and we take a long time getting back to you its most likely because another table's food came up, an issue arose or we were getting some sidework done that ultimately makes the restaurant run smoother. Customers need to give server's some slack, after all we are human to, and we may not act the exact way you want us to but thats life.
Having been a server, there are a few things I will never (or try to never) do:
-> snap my fingers to request my server's attention.
-> ask the chef to hold the salt or butter... if you're worried about your waistline or have dietary concerns, eat somewhere that specializes in that kind of food or eat at home
-> eat more than half of a dish that I intend to complain about and send back
-> go out to a restaurant in a bad mood (without perking up once i'm there) if you're not having fun, you shouldn't be out.
-> place cash in the bill folder, lay folder on the table, and put my arm over the folder, and then get annoyed when the server doesn't pull the damn thing out from underneath me
-> go to a restaurant at 10:59pm when the kitchen closes at 11pm order a 4 course meal – main course, the steak special with sauteed spinach instead of the garlic mashed potatoes we offered, well done, sauce on the side, half portion only please.
-> start off any complaint i might have with the words "you know, I never do this...."
-> send back a dirty martini for being too dirty / dry martini for being too dry
->"just transfer my bill to the bar, i'll finish up there" no... you owe me a tip for the service, not Joe the Bartender who's going to give you one more for the road!
Of course you should be able to ask a chef to hold the salt, butter, whatever! If restaurants don't like catering to requests like this they will go out of business in no time. Some people are allergic! As far as I know there are no restaurants specializing in food allergies. Seriously, what a dumb thing to say. It makes you sound like a real lazy server.
Chancie: Chefs absolutely HATE it when you ask them to do that. I don't mean to be condescending but you probably go to chain restaurants but when you go to eat at a chef's restaurant, you go to eat the food he excels in and prepares. You don't go to the restaurant with a set of demands because the chef is not your personal chef. They care about the taste. And would prefer absolutely for you not to return. believe me.
Chancie, if you are ordering Pasta with bolognese sauce hold the salt hold the butter... guess what, the sauce was made with salt and butter hours earlier *in batch* and the chef is not going to make a saltless butterless tasteless sauce just for you... and guess what, you can't have your vodka sauce with nonfat cream either.
it's not laziness on the part of the server... the food is prepared how its prepared. If you are worried about salt content or fat content... simply accept the fact that you should go to a restaurant that specifically prepares food void of these items, or stay home. Whether or not you like it, you can't trust the kitchen to remove all the butter from every cooking process for your one dish and you really don't have the right to ask... you have the right to eat somewhere else.
I understand your point of view, the problem with it is, you don't understand how most restaurants operate, and you think wait-staff can just have the kitchen make food however the customers like... reality, this is not.
LOL.. this discussion totally reminds me of that scene in Big Night when the "dumb Americans" make demands at an authentic Italian restaurant. Classic. If you want to check it out it's on youtube /watch?v=JtmOTYmVNII
Here here! And I know what you mean by holding the salt and butter....Chancie has obviously never waited tables
for the record: when i was a server, i had no issue with special orders, substitutions, and if you have an allergy, we'll do everything we can to make your dish right.
My point about no butter no salt, is that it is totally unrealistic, and if you have a true allergy to cream, butter or salt... you should already know better than to trust ANYONE with food preparation other than yourself. don't tell me your allergic to butter just because you don't want the saturated fat.
When people told me the were allergic to butter, i simply told them "regrettably, it is impossible for us to guarantee no butter will be used. our food is prepared in stages, many components are prepared in advance, and butter was likely used in the preparation." Of the countless "butter allergy sufferers" I have waited on, none of them refrained from eating, and surprise, they all survived.
Steve-
About the snapping thing – I could never use this line because I always worked in fine dining, but I heard a female bartender say once to someone who snapped at her "It takes more than two fingers to make me come..." LOVE IT!
And about the martinis – I actually had someone complain that their vodka martini was too strong. Really? Do you even know what a martini is?!!
Consider this people. We generally dine out to escape the cooking, cleaning etc. of home or because we're on the road. If we want a pleasant experience, be pleasant. You are not there to be their friend, companion and soul mate. They are there to preform a service and if they do it well should expect a reasonable tip. If the server is rude, incompetent or otherwise makes the experience less than it should, then reduce or eliminate the tip. If the consumer is rude, inappropriate etc....... well, that's what tea bagging is for. I done everything in a food facility there is to do including own one from New York state to Montana.
"You guys". Stop it! I ain't old yet, but when I come in with my wife or with my wife and kids, do NOT say "hi, guys"...don't use "guys"! Yes, I use "guys" too, for certain groups, and no, not just males. But it's become SO casual, and so many servers, hosts, hostesses are young, they think they can say "guys" all the time. BE POLITE! Say something like "Hi, folks!" It's not and old phrase, it's not a useless phrase. "What can I get for you folks?" Heck, I see young servers say "guys" to old couples, like 70s, 80s. It's rude! You don't mean to be rude, but you have think about what you're saying.
Regarding iced tea: there is no such word as "unsweet."
Correct. It should be referred to as "Yankee Bitch tea"
From this day on, I'll never call it anything else.
I wanna say A BIG THANK YOU to all my fellow servers who have posted here and defend to customers why we do what we do. You can obviously point out those people who have NEVER had to wait on anyone. We do what we do coz that's the nature of our job. If you don't like it or don't feel comfortable just politely let us know. I refuse to let one snobby rude customer who thinks it's their God-given-right to be the-customer-is-always-right ruin my day. Why don't you try our job for one day and see if you survive.
Okay people, stop being so petty. When you're in a restaurant here are a few tips:
1- Don't monopolize your servers time. Listen to your server. Making him/her repeat the list of specials for each individual is impolite, and takes time away that your server needs to help his other tables.
2- Don't under any circumstance ask your server for sexual favors. I've been asked for lap dances and a 70+ year old man asked repeatedly for me to spank him. Understand that as the customer you can leave, but an employee I can't. We have to stay there and put up with it.
3-If you want something SPEAK UP. I can't read minds, and even if I could I'd have a hard time hearing yours over everyone elses in the room.
4- I have two hands, that's right 2. I know, I know, its absolutely dreadful that I may have to come back to take your plate away 15 seconds later, because I couldn't manage to balance it on my head while carrying the other 5 people's plates.
5- I don't want to hover, its intrusive, so please put your silverware across your plate, napkin on the table, push your plate away or do something, anything so that I know you have finally finished that last bite of prime rib you've been nursing for the last half hour.
6- Please leave arguments at home. When you go out, go out to enjoy yourself and to get to know that special someone better. I feel horrible if you come in arguing and leave not even talking to eachother.
7- If your on a tight budget, don't be embarassed. Let me know, and I'll make sure that even on the tightest budget that you have a great meal, and I may even be able to convince the kitchen to send out dessert on the house.
8- Please let me know before you order if you have any food allergies. Not only will I make sure that what you order is allergen free, but I will put a note on your ticket so that the kitchen knows to be careful too.
9-Please be polite. A truely kind table can be few and far between, so if your pleasant I'm going to work like crazy to give you the best service possible.
10- Have fun. Enjoy life, friends and good food.
Now for servers:
1- Make sure tables are completely clean and neatly set before you begin to seat customers.
2- Do whatever you can beforehand to make service go smoothly through the night. Refill, stock, clean. Do whatever is necessary so that you can spend less time in the back and more time with your tables during the night.
3- Be visible. How are customers supposed to ask for help if they can't see you?
4- Write your tickets clearly so that the kitchen staff can can easily read them.
5- Be super polite and helpful to the kitchen staff. They spend long hours preparing before and cleaning/ prepping after service when your not there, and they're not making tips. At the end of the night tip them out properly.
6- Customers see everything. Don't roll your eyes as you walk away from the table and don't stand around in groups chatting with other servers.
7- Customers have ears. Don't complain about them, or at least wait until you're closed.
8- Learn your wine list and how to do a proper wine presentation.
9- Don't let food sit around getting cold. When its ready take it out.
10- When a customer is done quickly clear away their plate. When they leave, quickly clean and reset the table.
11- Say thank you to your customers and wish them a good evening when they leave.
12- When you leave for the night, make sure you left the restaurant in better shape than when you arrived.
amen brother/sister. I hope both sides read you closely
I really don’t understand how people get so annoyed about this stuff. It sounds a little self-righteous to me. But now that I think of it I was annoyed, perhaps visibly so, even just last night when a server started asking about desert halfway into my meal. And here I am now, complaining about the complaints of others. I denounce myself for my hypocrisy. What other flaws lurk beneath the veneer of my normalcy? Everything seems to be crumbling. I must find a way to atone. I hope that you all believe that I can. I am going to sell my things and wander the earth. It may take many years, but I will find a way to redemption.
I eat out 7 days a week, sometimes twice a day. I appreciate the servers. They do the best they can.
I almost always tip 20%, unless the check is so small that I tip even more.
I appreciate the people who wait on me and I also think they appreciate me. I order the food, not asking a dozen questions about the food. Those of us who dine out on a regular basis know the system.
Thank You to all you Wait Staff out there, from coast to coast.
thank you Jim, from LA. Good diners like you make up for all the craziness we put up with. People like you really can turn our shifts from bad to good.
I agree with server guy. As much as I hated my job sometimes, there was usually that one table that made my night better. And if the next table didn't ti[ me at all, that one table made it just a little more ok.
Especially when you leave an appropriate tip too.
Taking the extra time to tell a server thank you or good job can really make their night. They may have just had a really rude table or a table that left no tip – positive customers can really help turn a bad night around.
I was too quick to judge. I'm sorry, there are waaaaay more jerks on here that I thought. Serve from the left and remove from the right. Give me a break. Oh no, I have a little white fuzz on my black outfit. If only there were some way to take care of that (other than 2 or 3 simple brushes of my hand) oh, the tragedy of it all! Oh the humanity!! Jerks.
As far as the the whole squatting or kneeling thing goes, it all relates to psychology. If a person is looking up at someone else then they, usually, see this person as a higher authority, it is just human nature. By crouching or kneeling the server(s) makes themselves appear to be subservient to the customer. There have been numerous studies done on this, and it was picked up by restaurants to help facilitate service.
I agree with the rest though, please don't sit with me.
My experience is that a lot of people go to restaurants looking for something to be dissatisfied about. Perhaps it gives them a sense of power, or they are hoping to get comped, or looking for a reason to leave a lower tip. Service employees often lose the ability to treat customers as individuals, and begin to expect negative experiences. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I studied culinary arts, graduated from hotel school, and worked as a chef, waiter and restaurant manager. I hoped to become an executive chef because I thought it would allow creative expression and opportunity to serve people. But given the customers' general lack of openness to participate as a guest, and disposition to criticize, it's impossible to maintain a motivated staff. Restaurants can do all the training they want, but customers have the most influence on performance.
Few of my peeves:
1) If I'm wearing black, please bring me a black napkin. I don't care to leave the restaurant with white fuzz all over my clothes.
2) If my water (or tea, soda, etc.) is empty, please refill it without me having to ask. And, if I do ask, please don't forget. If I have a cocktail, please ask to refresh it when it is almost finished (you'll likely increase the bill, and your tip, if you do this properly).
3) Please don't reach across in front of me to get the other person's plate...or ask me to hand it to you. (Unless I'm seated at a 3 person deep booth with no other access to the inside persons).
4) Please don't remove a plate while others are still eating. It makes a) the person whose plate you just removed feel like a pig, and b) the rest like their rushed. Just wait and clear the table all at once when everyone is finished.
5) Unless I'm in a fast food joint or a diner, please serve from the left and remove from the right. And, please don't force me to re-use my silverware for each course – if I've left it on my plate when I'm done, just bring me a new set.
@Gary: when you add in the tips, these people can make much more than an administrative assistant makes per year and they work less hours. If they're not making decent tips, then they probably need to learn from these posts. And for the record, I tip well – generally never less than 18%, and even for terrible service you'll still get at least 15%.
Wow Shannon. You're fvcking pathetic.
I'm also a former server, and know proper service. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate wait staff. These are just my peeves when I go out. The Blog asked for our comments, so I commented on things I regularly encounter.
Thank you, I appreciate your quick observation of my quality as a pathetic human being. I won't return the favor and make any comment as to what you might be.
Few of my peeves:
1) If I'm wearing black, please bring me a black napkin. I don't care to leave the restaurant with white fuzz all over my clothes.
Solution: Bring your own custom napkin.
2) If my water (or tea, soda, etc.) is empty, please refill it without me having to ask. And, if I do ask, please don't forget. If I have a cocktail, please ask to refresh it when it is almost finished (you'll likely increase the bill, and your tip, if you do this properly).
Solution: Give your server a list of instructions when you sit down. Print them out and keep them with you.
3) Please don't reach across in front of me to get the other person's plate...or ask me to hand it to you. (Unless I'm seated at a 3 person deep booth with no other access to the inside persons).
Solution: See above.
4) Please don't remove a plate while others are still eating. It makes a) the person whose plate you just removed feel like a pig, and b) the rest like their rushed. Just wait and clear the table all at once when everyone is finished.
Solution: See above.
5) Unless I'm in a fast food joint or a diner, please serve from the left and remove from the right. And, please don't force me to re-use my silverware for each course – if I've left it on my plate when I'm done, just bring me a new set.
Solution: See above. I don't see a problem with giving your server a list of desires before dinner. Really, your server wants to know what you want and you are responsible for the communication.
@Gary: when you add in the tips, these people can make much more than an administrative assistant makes per year and they work less hours. If they're not making decent tips, then they probably need to learn from these posts. And for the record, I tip well – generally never less than 18%, and even for terrible service you'll still get at least 15%.
Shannon: i agree with most of your points except for that first one. Come on, if the restaurants have white napkins, they have white napkins. If you don't like the white napkins, complain to the owner of the restaurant. What in God's name does that have to do with the waiter.. And also, I hate it when servers clear someone's dish while others are eating but believe me there are many many people who will seek you out, giving you evil looks, complain about you, because they didn't want to sit in front of a dirty plate. Explaining to them that what they are asking for is a breach in manners would get me fired.
And usually it is not the server who cleared the plate but the busboy. He was not trained properly by the restaurant.
And really "these people" who are you calling "these people".... the most interesting thing you said. Explains exactly what your opinion is of "those people".
I didn't mean to offend you or anyone else by using the generality of "these people." It was in response to the following:
"Gary
You know, these people are making $2.13 and hour."
@Shannon...I agree with you on some things. the black napkin thing is ridiculous...color coordinate napins to outfits? as a former server you should know better. Also clearing plates out of people's way is service step certainly not made to make any feel like a pig and most people I know would want there empty plate out of their face anyway. I agree with the not asking anyone to hand plates etc...I unfortunately have extremely short arms and instead of put my chest or armpit in anyone's face I ask them to hand me their plate if I cannot reach it. The moral is think about each dining situation...there can always be circumstances you are unaware of.
you can go shove it. seriously. picky woman, get over your self
The black napkin thing is ridiculous, you can NOT be serious.
You truly are a disgusting human being...how do you expect i get the plate then if i cannot reach across from you.....what a waste of life.
Serving was my only job last year and I would have relished being an administrative assistant. Serving is hit or miss – feast or famine – busy or painfully slow. We get paid nearly nothing per hour and at most places – NO BENEFITS. At least admin. assistants usually get benefits and have steady work.
Likewise, in many restaurants, we get chastised for NOT clearing an empty plate. It's called "pre-busing". And it keeps us from having to make extra trips to clear a table full of plates before bringing your next course; or our manager fussing at us; or in restaurants without a bus-boy it helps us clear and clean the table faster. If you want all of the plates cleared at the same time – let me know ahead of time. I don't mind. I want to serve you. Many people get made for having to "sit looking at a dirty plate". I had a regular customer who explained he wanted all the plates cleared at the end, at the same time, and the ladies all served first, and bill handed to him. I never forgot. Just let us know what you want.
WOW! Bring me a black napkin...My friends and i got a good ten minutes of laughs on that one. Maybe you should follow the advise of bringing your own napkin. I don't know what I could say with a straight face to that dinning "pet peeve" ROTFL
Obviously this person has never waited a table- you have no idea how hard it is to make people happy. especially customers like you
The only thing I learned from reading this is
1. Bustacap is an anal-retentive jerk. Dude, get over it.
2. Most people are elitist jerks. I'm shocked at the number of people, most of which probably making average salaries at their own jobs, are absolutely mortified that a server would have the audacity to sit with you at "your" table. You all come across like rich people do when they say not to associated with "the help".. Jerks, all of you. Get over yourself, you'll live longer..jerks.
I just want to be serviced. I need to be serviced and, By God, I demand to be serviced at least once every day. Is that okay with you folks? Grins and Giggles.
I don't know why any of you act like it is OK to accept intrusiveness or behavior you don't like, when you are paying a server's wages. All these things have happened to me. I simply tell them what I don't like, and if they have an unpleasant reaction I repeat myself more forcefully, or get up and leave, or leave a nickel tip - all in a calm, friendly, and polite voice. I once had an Outback manager sit down in my booth, literally pushing my grandson over, after I complained to a waiter about my steak being overcooked. I asked him which of us was going to leave, him or me. He got the point, stood up, and apologized. I have also asked store clerks who are half my age not to call me by my first name, esp. when they are 1/3 my age. My assumption is that none of these employees are doing things to be rude or annoying on purpose, so how will they know I don't like it if I don't tell them??
I dine out quite frequently and my pet peeve is not being acknowledged either by the hostess or by the server once I'm seated. I totally understand YOU GUYS are busy and I don't mind giving you extra time to do what you need to be. A simple 'I'll be right with you" will suffice. When the server asks me how I'm doing, I tell them and then ask the same of them. When they bring items to me or remove items from my table, I always say thank you. When I ask for something, I say please. I try to minimize the number of times I have to send for something and I always preface it with 'when you get a chance...' unless it's something needed immediately like a knife to cut my steak or my side that is missing. When I'm ready for the check, I ask for it. Nine times out of ten, I use my debit card to pay for the meal, but on the rare chance when I do use cash, I do appreciate the server who states: I'll be right back with your change. If I don't need change, I let them know. I ALWAYS tip well. Not only do I normally tip in excess of 20%, but I tip on the total bill not just the meal/drink portion. If service is exceptional, then the tip is even bigger and I am known to ask for a manager to let them know of the server's great service. So many people are so quick to call the manager to complain, I like to do the opposite. When they thank me and tell me to have a nice day/night, I tell them to do the same. There ARE customers out there who know how to act. Oh, and I neglected to mention the fact that I'm black. Imagine that, a courteous black person who tips well! Please do not assume that because of my race, you will not get a tip, therefore, proceed to provide sub-par service.
Hopefully the bartenders on here can enlighten me on something. One of my biggest pet peeves when sitting at a bar is when I'm meeting a friend (the friend has already been served), I order my drink/food and then when we ask for the check, it's not separate. If we walked in together, I could even understand why they would put everything together. When I go to a bar, it's difficult to keep track of who drank what when more than one person is drinking the same thing. And since I mentioned before that I often don't carry cash, now I have to get the server to put this amount on this card, that amount on that card. It's time consuming. Is it really that difficult for the bartender to ask "is this separate"?
That's my 2 cents.
I'm glad that someone appreciates this; even if I can't be to a seated table to take their drink order immediately after they're seated, I always make sure to stop by to let them know that I see them and it won't be long before I'm with them.
T
Wow, you people are disgusting. I've never been a server but I'm one of the easiest customers to please. Bring me my food and be a little bit friendly, and I'm happy. I can't believe how high maintinance some of you are. Stay home if you're going to be grumpy.
Patrons could help improve the service. Ask for all the little extra crap while ordering. Don't stop your server 8 times for extra napkins, straw (and why the hell does the whole world now drink from a straw?), extra dressing, lemon, etc...
Don't complain if you wanted another beer but wouldn't acknowledge the server when they were trying to ask if you would like one.
I worked in an Applebee's for 3 summers. Never once was it encouraged or discouraged for me to crouch or sit at a table. I also trained servers, and this was not part of my training. I would read the table and depending on the atmosphere would depend on what I did. I usually did not crouch down. If I knew the group or if they were already laughing and joking with me when I went to take their order, I might crouch down. I never sat down when taking an order-even if I knew them. I might come back by later and sit for a minute and talk if we were super slow, but that was a rare occasion.
Issues I have with servers-not waiting until I've taken a bite of my food until you check to see how it is. But also waiting 10 minutes to come and check how it is.
Not refilling my glass.
Thinking I'm going to tip less because I'm young-listen here, I have not tipped before because of comments about my age. Left a nice comment on a napkin. "here's your tip, don't talk about your customers" Because I've worked in a restraunt, I know how to tip and I tip damn well if you give me good service. TIP-To Insure Promptness. You do your job, you get my money.
Assuming I won't tip because of the way I'm dressed/way I look. I don't always get super dressed up to go to casual dining. But don't make the assumption, I don't have money. My father-drives truck. He has a beard, he is a big man and scares people because they think he looks tough. He's a teddy bear. He wears beat up hats and workboots. But, he also has had 3 children work as servers, and tips better then anyone I've met...I often tell him he is tipping to much for the service we received. Because people think they aren't going to get a tip. I've worked with these people, I've seen them make the assumptions. Big mistake. I'll take those tables you think won't tip. We'll see who makes more at the end of the night.
Not entering the order so the check and be split. Even after I ask for it ahead of time. Maybe it was just the system I worked with, but we had it set up so that it was easy to split checks for every table no matter what. When everyone sat down, they were assigned a number at the table (moving clockwise around the table). You take their order in that order. And when you pull up a table, it would ask, how many people if there are 5 people, you put 5. Then each person has a number in the computer. Enter the food under each number. When the food comes out, it comes out in that order (so someone else can carry the food out and know who plates go to without asking), then when you print checks, you can print it by each number. Simple! Easy and less work for the server.
Placing the check in front of the guy when it is just a guy/girl couple. Place it at the center of the table.
Asking "do you need change" when paying with cash. Yes I need change, I will tell you otherwise. Your tip will be on the table. Don't assume any left over change is for you.
Issues with customers:
Speak up if something is wrong. I'll get it fixed if your steak isn't cooked right. Don't like it, let me fix it. Don't just brush me off. I'm trying to make sure you have the best meal possible because well, I want your tip.
Table Rent-if you come in and take up my table for 4 hours and then only tip me $2, I won't be happy. I don't mind if you come in and sit for 4 hours, but understand, the way I make my money is from turning tables/Tips. So if you are going to sit, up the tip.
People who are out for a free meal. These don't come by often, but they do. They wait until they've eaten half their sandwich and 15 minutes have passed to compalin that their food is cooked wrong or is cold. Of course its cold, its been sitting in front of you for 15 minutes. Let me get my manager.
People who are rude for no reason. This comes in all forms of customer service not just restraunts. I've got to have a smile on my face at all times. I know you've had a bad day, but being mean to me isn't really going to make it better.
Things I love:
People who understand that I have limited control over things. I don't actually cook the food, I don't actually make the drinks. But if something is wrong, I can try to get it fixed.
People who smile and say thank you.
wow, wut a bunch of A-holes on here! I have never been in the service industry, but at least treat them with respect. I've never seen so many uppity comments!
As a server, my biggest pet peeve is creepy old men who hit on me. I am a bartender and server in an upscale restaurant, not hooters, and I am paid to be courteous and friendly to you. DO NOT MISTAKE THAT FOR FLIRTING.
Get your hand off my ass and stop asking for my number–it's uncomfortable and awkward, and I can't brush you off like I would in everyday life.
Why don't you stop complaining and stay home and cook yourself. Servers have to completely analysis a table to decide how they are goig to act. Their job is ANYTHING but easy. Instead of complaining how bad they do, go to the grocery store, and coook your own food.
There is such thing as being a bad customer. I'm trying to do the best I can and customers can be rude or slow when I'm getting slammed with customers. Restaurant etiquette works both ways.
I only have to step foot in a busy restaurant to remember the harried feeling and exhaustion that I experienced on a busy night. It's a hard damned job!
This article and many of the comments sort of disgust me. People automatically believe they are smarter/better than you just because you are taking their order. While I was serving and studying for the bar exam, I had many a pleased customer suggest that I was so good that I should make something of myself and "go to culinary school." I never got much pleasure from the shocked looks on their faces when I told them I had just graduated from law school. Ugh.
i was a server for over 10 years and the thing that bothered me the most is you patrons who bring your business meeting or laptop to a busy lunch crowded restaurant and sit there for 4 hours and leave a dollar spare us all and go to
starbucks or barnes and noble...
I have never wanted to many people to die at once until I read the comments of these all of these self important patrons that bash servers on here...please do society a favor and kill yourselves....
word. i feel exactly the same way.
So do I.
Donovan, those types of servers don't last long. They simply don't make enough money to get by. There are still plenty of good, efficient, polite servers out there. And some ppl like their plate to be taken away when they finish (I'm one of those ppl).
How hard is it to just tell them to get out of your space? If that causes lack of proper service get up and walk.
I personally think good service is dead.... they will put the check down while you are still eating, right in front of you. pick up one persons plate while someone else is still eating.. ask you 40 times how you like it while you are in the middle of putting food in your mouth, causing you to have to either talk with a mouth full or look at them like the idiots they are.
it is just that staff is not trained anymore.- and this is supposedly in "upscale" venues.. if I wanted Friday's treatment, i would have gone to Fridays..
My biggest pet peeve is after bringing the check, when you pay with cash they ask "Do you need change?". Yes I need change. Unless I specifically tell you to keep the change you automatically bring my change.
Raymond, I agree. Although not my biggest pet peeve, I think you make a very good point. "Unless I specifically tell you to keep the change you automatically bring my change." Well said.
A polite way they can get the same point across they are making is to say, "I will be right back with your change." That gives the customer an opportunity to say, "No, it's yours." or something along those lines.
I'll second that. In fact, asking if I need change will reduce your tip right there.
What about when the waiter rounds your change DOWN?! Wow. That's a killer. If you round, it had better be in the customer's favor.
I always start at 15%. It goes up and down through the meal depending on how things go. It usually ends up being around 15% anyway. Rarely will I hit 20% or 10%. Probably once every 3 years or so they'll be so horrible that I'll leave zero or 1 penny. I've done 25% on a rare occasion as well.
No, it's yours, please keep it.
Or
Yes, thank you.
I only ask because I have to carry around that change all night and it takes time to find and count out the nickels, pennies, etc. in my apron pocket. If you don't want change, say so. If you do, I'm happy to count it out. But I hate counting it out and then being left with the same pile of nickels, dimes, etc. I JUST SPENT time counting. Time i didn't have during the busy dinner rush.
While I understand you feel like you are wasting your time, it's still up to the "CUSTOMER" to decide the tip. My husband and I pay with credit cards or gift cards 99.9% of the time. Once, we paid with (2) $20 gift certificates on a $34.69 check. Our waiter brought back a $5 bill, no coins. We were owed 31 cents. Instead of shorting himself or giving us exact change(which he should have just done that instead), he STOLE from us by TIPPING HIMSELF!! He got stiffed. Ever since then if we ever pay with cash at a restaurant, I will want to test the server to see if they are a thief or not. It's sad, but the good has to suffer for the bad.
The main thing is though, getting change is PART OF YOUR JOB why shorten part of your job you are already getting PAID to do? Part of your tip is if you get the change, how long it takes to get the change, and if you try to make your job easier by asking if the server can tip themselves by asking if the customer wants change. IT IS THE CUSTOMER'S JOB TO TIP!! GET THE CUSTOMER'S CHANGE UNLESS THEY TELL YOU TO KEEP IT, PERIOD!! I don't care if I give you $52 on a $51.54 cent check, get my coins I am owed, because it's still my money, not yours yet. If I wanted you to keep it, I'd tell you.
You say the customers leave all the money at times that you feel you got all of that for nothing, but honestly, you didn't. It was a TEST to see if you were going to get the change or possibly people want to just decide the tip afterwards, or even possibly they didn't even think about it. Either way, it's not up to YOU to make your job easier by trying to make one less trip when it's YOUR JOB to get the change in the first place.
The best way is to just say "I'll be right back with your change", then wait 2-3 seconds to see if the customer will say anything. If they don't, proceed to get ALL change, including all coins, even if only a penny is owed back, that is the CUSTOMER'S MONEY, NOT YOURS, so remember that!!
Wow. 'Springs1' you are not just an asshole, but probably a crazy person. He stole from you? seriously, 31 cents? Of all the idiotic things I've seen you post here, which are a lot, this is the most ridiculous. The hell were you gonna go with that change anyway? And it was a "test"? I really never want to serve you, because no one would ever be good enough. That, and you would be a pain in the ass, and if I didn't bring a dime with your change, you wouldn't tip me. And I only give change in quarters and dimes because I'm not going to carry around a shitload of change all day. So you'd stiff me over a nickel. Not that you would care, because I am not a person, I'm just a server, and you've never done my job. And I hope you go to hell.
seriously?
"Wow. 'Springs1' you are not just an asshole, but probably a crazy person. He stole from you? seriously, 31 cents? Of all the idiotic things I've seen"
Read and weep you asshole THIEF!! Out of the 193 comments, MOST people AGREE, because it IS STEALING. If you want to short yourself by a dollar to avoid all coins, that is what you need to do if you are too lazy to keep some change on you. I don’t if you owe me ONE PENNY, you will get stiffed!! It's NOT YOUR MONEY TO TAKE!!
So you wouldn’t say ANYTHING if a clerk at Wendy's or Burger King(not saying McDonald's since they have Ronald McDonald donation jar there) decided to keep a QUARTER EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU WENT THERE WITHOUT ASKING FIRST? What about at the stores, you wouldn’t ask for your cents back, even if it was 10 cents? You don't see that as stealing?
The thing is, by LAW you HAVE to give me my change, because it's MINE!!
Just because you make tips doesn't mean you have ANY RIGHTS TO SOMEONE ELSE'S MONEY!!
If I take money out of your mother's purse(remember I am a stranger), even just a quarter or a couple of dimes), that wouldn't bother you that I just took it without asking first? Don't you think most people would be bothered by that?
Stealing is stealing!!
It is idiotic to think that you can take money that ISN'T YOURS YET, may I stress YET!!
He stole, because he should have shorted himself if he wanted to not deal with coins. He chose to be lazy and steal, so that is his tip. You want a good tip, DO YOUR JOB, FULLY, getting ALL CHANGE, ALL, ALL CHANGE!!
EVERYWHERE ELSE YOU GET THE FULL AMOUNT, WHY BECAUSE YOU MAKE TIPS THAT GIVES YOU RIGHTS TO **ANY*** PARTS OF SOMEONE ELSE'S MONEY, may I stress "SOMEONE ELSE'S MONEY", YOU ENTITLEMENT ASSHOLE!!
You aren't entitled to any money at all if you are server unless you have automatic gratuity added or a service charge, otherwise, you aren't entitled to shit!!
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/30/complaint-box-rounding-up/?apage=1#comments
"The hell were you gonna go with that change anyway?"
It's not about that, don't you get that? It's all about that my husband and I didn't get to DECIDE to the tip, HE DID FOR US. Don't you get that? SERVERS DON'T GET TO TIP THEMSELVES!! CUSTOMERS DO ALL THE TIPPING!!
We possibly would have kept the coins so he wouldn’t have to be tipped with coins or left the quarter of it, but kept the nickel a penny of it. May have left it all, but the point is, it's OUR DECISION!! WE CONTROL THE TIP, NOT YOU!!
We get to decide what to tip. Just as most people are saying here and other blogs they had when servers ask if they want their change, this is WORSE, because the server is taking it upon his or herself to keep part of it. I don’t care if it's a penny. If you don't want to deal with getting the coins, then tip me OVER the amount then if you want a good tip. Chances are if you give people dollars instead of a bunch of pennies, they will leave you more that you chose not to give them a bunch of coins. Even shorting himself by giving us 50 cents wouldn't have been that much(19 cents). Obviously, the waiter felt that he wouldn't want to risk losing any money .69 cents to give us a dollar, then WHY our CENTS any LESS IMPORTANT THAN HIS? He didn't even want to short himself 19 cents even. So don't you think he felt his money was important?
"And it was a "test"?"
No, because we never paid with cash or gift certificates before at restaurants even before we were married to have had this happen to have even fathomed people would be thieves like that.
NOW, YES, if we pay with cash again ever(which we don't), we will test the server. It's only fair they do the entire job if they want the entire tip they deserve. I want to see if they are LAZY or not as well as a thief. There's nothing wrong with wanting to know that our money isn't going to go to a thief.
"And I only give change in quarters and dimes because I'm not going to carry around a shitload of change all day."
LAZY ASS, LAZY ASS, LAZY ASS!!
If you aren't going to SHORT YOURSELF, NOT US IF YOU WANT A GOOD TIP OR A TIP AT ALL!!
If you owe me 55 cents, give me 75 cents. Don't short me that nickel, then expect to get a tip at all. YOU STOLE and OBVIOUSLY, that NICKEL WAS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU THAT YOU COULDN'T FATHOM SHORTING YOURSELF, am I right?
SHORT YOURSELF, NOT US IF YOU ARE TOO LAZY ASS TO BRING COINS ON YOU OR GO TO THE BAR TO GET COINS!!
How come that 5 cents would be that important to YOU that you would short us? 20 cents you'd short yourself. That 20 cents, isn't it VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU NOT TO RISK LOSING ON EACH CUSTOMER THAT PAYS WITH CASH? How do you feel now? Do you risk LOSING MONEY? Do you ever round UP in the customer's favor?
You don't need to bring a lot of change on you if you want to OVER pay with change. As I said, if I am owed 55 cents, you give me 3 quarters. That way, the customer won't have to deal with extra coins, the server's job is easier, the customer will probably tip a lot higher that you gave them MORE than what was owed, and everyone is happier.
By you not risking to lose any change at all shows YOUR COINS ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU, AREN'T THEY? NEVER ROUND DOWN, ALWAYS UP IF YOU WANT A GOOD TIP IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH CHANGE!!
"I'm just a server, and you've never done my job. And I hope you go to hell."
A lot of the servers on that site I posted have done the job before and would NEVER short someone, EVER, because they have a conscious that it is STEALING!! They also know it's not their money and that they will most likely end up with less money by doing that. It's just MORALLY WRONG and YOU KNOW IT!! STEALING IS STEALING WHETHER I TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR MOM'S PURSE (31 cents), OR MY SERVER DECIDES NOT TO GIVE IT TO ME WHEN I NEVER SAID IT WAS OK TO KEEP IT!! Fast food cashiers or grocery store cashiers don't keep any coins, WHY do you think you have a right to? They give back every cent and they don't even get a tip for it. THEY should be the ones get the tip instead of people like you that are lazy. They at least give back ALL coins to you that is rightfully yours.
I hope thieves like you go to JAIL for STEALING, because that IS what you are doing by shorting the customer.
You steal a pack of gum that is under a dollar, yes, the police can arrest you. How is that any different than someone's change? It isn't!!
NO, nothing is "idiotic" about wanting to decide the tip without any help from their server taking parts of it without permission. I am NOT the only person that feels EXTREMELY STRONGLY ABOUT THIS! MOST comments stated they CARED and it was wrong to take the person's 4 cents of all amounts. It's not about the pennies, it's about that THEY STOLE!! It's not yours to take. You EARN YOUR TIP, IT'S NOT ENTITLED TO YOU!!
You know, these people are making $2.13 and hour. I am willing to bet that the complainers on this thread never tip. And what a thing to complain about; there are people who would love a hot meal let alone having someone bring it to them and wait on them hand & foot. Decide if you would like to serve someone who acts like you before complaining like this. In other words, give these poor people a break already & find something better to complain about!
I tip. But only if they deserve it. Most of them don't. And never more than 10%. It isn't my problem if your job doesn't pay you enough.
Ah Melissa, if you don't like to tip for the service you receive when you're in a country where that is accepted societal standard, perhaps you should only eat out in places like the UK. Those rude waiters would be happy to take care of you, especially since they have very little incentive to treat you well.
You are an ugly, ugly cunt, Melissa. No one in your life actually loves you, they're all just pretending.
Did you realize that their taxes are based on their sales and that if you don't tip, it actually costs them money to wait on you?
Its not my problem you were raised to be an uncaring bitch. But I still have to wait on you.
Melissa, t'would be if you stayed home.
Personal Pet Peeves as a server/bartender.
1) Don't hit on me–especially if you are obviously 3x my age. I am paid to be nice to you, so I can't ask you to stop. Definitely a case of taking advantage of the fact you have the power.
2) Don't expect you can send a dish back just because you didn't like it. If it's undercooked/not what's on the menu/cold etc, please send it back. Otherwise, start ordering better. You ordered it, so I am NOT going to refund you because YOU made a poor decision based on your own taste buds.
3) Don't continue talking when I come up to take your order. I can't hear you so your order will probably be incorrect, and nothing is more awkward that standing there indecisively waiting to see if they're going to condescend to talk to you. If I've interrupting an important convo, fine–I'll leave and come back later. If you continue to do this over and over again I'm not going to want to take your order, and you'll later being wondering why the service is slow: answer, you made it that way.
4) If you're a group of 10, it would be appreciated if you could order mention your drink orders/requests when everyone else does. "I'd like a cup of milk" (bring milk) "I'd like a straw" (bring straw) "I'd like a new napkin" (bring napkin) "i'd a glass of wine" (bring wine) "i'd like to see the drink menu again"....this is incredibly inconsiderate to all of the other customers I'm trying to help.
5) If you're old/black/foreign/asian/sorority girl, do yourself a favor and don't reinforce the stereotype of tipping almost nothing. There's a reason no server wants your table.
agreed on all of the above except maybe 5.
Also:
6. Please return the greeting when I say "Hello, Hi, How are you" instead of continuing to ignore me like I am not there. Or at least just look up.
7. Read your menu. At least 5 times a night every night I have confused people asking why the "special" (which comes with a soup or cup of salad) is more expensive than the regular dish. It clearly explains this right above the SPECIALS.
8. Please consider that I am one person and have about 50 things to do.
9. If you know you need extra dressing, or ketchup, or anything else, ask me when I ask you "is there anything else I can get for you?" Not five minutes later when I am already busy with another table.
10. GET OFF YOUR PHONE!
I was with Amanda up until #5 as well. Your #10 should be number 1!!!!! I CANNOT STAND to see someone trying to take someone's order and the person is on the phone. OR if I'm sitting next to a table and someone is on the phone and talking loudly, or worse yet, is using their push to talk feature on the phone.
The issue I have with #4 is that sometimes one person at the table will request some milk, and the waiter/waitress will turn around immediately and be gone before anyone else can request the straw. I appreciate it, in these situations, when the waiter/waitress asks if there is anything else before leaving.. then they don't have to make so many trips.
I personally don't like it when you give the server money for the bill and he/she asks "Do you want any change?" especially if the change is 35% of the bill. It's much more diplomatic to say "I'll be right back with the change" in which I could opt to say "That's fine, you keep that" or "Great, thank you".
And I REALLY don't like it when I order a beer, would like a refill halfway through dinner but can't find the waiter, and he/she shows up when my food is almost done to ask if I want another. I wanted another 20 minutes ago but gee, I don't want to hang out at this table making my companions wait while I drink the beer that I would have enjoyed had you asked earlier.
I vacationed in China for two weeks a few years back. Over there, in the casual restaurants (not the upscale ones), the servers only come to you when you yell over to them or signal at them. There is no "How is everything?" or "Can I get you something else?". I was torn on liking it or not. I liked not being bothered every 5 minutes but somewhat missed the convenience I guess.
Thoughts?
I've said a few times that it's kind of a balancing act – you don't want to leave your customers waiting, but you don't want to ignore them and wait for them to flag you down either. In the USA, with the way tipping is set up, it's probably in the server's best interest to check in at least moderately often. At the very least, I try to walk around my section often so that if a customer does need me, they can flag me down. I feel like this is a good compromise.
I vacationed in China for two weeks a few years back. Over there, in the casual reastaurants (not the upscale ones), the servers only come to you when you yell over to them or signal at them. There is no "How is everything?" or "Can I get you something else?". I was torn on liking it or not. I liked not being bothered every 5 minutes but somewhat missed the convenience I guess.
Thoughts?
I used to wait tables before I got my degree and so-called "real" job. I made pretty good money. But I ended up tending bar and cocktailing because it was easier and the $$ was better. If you take a job, you should do your best regardless of the pay. BUT.
Most of the complaints on here are so petty. The truth is - women are more likely to order the salad, and men are more likely to be paying! So it becomes a habit to think that's what's going to happen. No one is trying to offend you. And since women are also more likely to stiff another woman (maybe this happens to male waiters too, I wouldn't know), that might be another reason to put the check closer to the man.
Geez, people. You must not have any real problems. If you can afford to eat out, you can afford to be nice to and give the waiter the benefit of the doubt.
I hate it whe a Woman server calls me honney or sweety. I do not know this person from adom and they are not my honny and or my sweety. Is she going to ask me out on a date or what?
Wow, you guys are super uptight. If the wait-staff does any of those things, I don't care. Why? I have bigger things to worry about in my life.
Get over it.
As someone who waited tables for several years, I can tell you that it can be both interesting (with nice customers) and hellish (with rude customers). I always approached each table as if they were of the 'nice' variety. If they were of the 'rude' variety they received efficient/polite service, but I never went above and beyond trying to please people that were obviously bent on being displeased with every aspect of the dining experience. Every server is going to put the most time and energy into taking care of a customer who is going to treat them well - maximum financial return on your time and effort. Having said that, it's absurd to judge a tip on appearance alone. I got some sweet tips from scruffy looking characters.
For diners:
When you're with a large group and have indicated that you're ready to order, please do your server the courtesy of paying attention. It's very difficult to take orders when you will not cease conversations long enough to relate what you would like.
If you're part of a large group and are the first to arrive, it's not necessary to tell the server that you're waiting on others. Obviously, the hostess is not in the habit of seating two people at an 8-top. They're just greeting you to be polite and to ask if you would like something while you wait.
If you ask for coffee, DRINK IT WHILE IT'S HOT! Don't let it sit there and then ask your server to get you a fresh cup because it's cold.
If you want to sit and drink coffee and chat for hours, please leave your server a very nice tip. They might have turned that table over twice in the amount of time you're camping out.
Don't assume that the server is rushing you if they ask if you're ready for your check. They are trying to take good care of you. Also don't arrive at the establishment 30 minutes before 'tip-off' and tell the server you're in a hurry to get to the game. Plan your time better or hit the drive-thru on the way to coliseum.
If you get great service and stiff your server you are stealing from them. They provided a service that you did not pay for.
It also annoys me when people ask for extra cream, dump it all in their coffee, and then complain their coffee is not hot.
I hate it when servers automatically puts a lemon wedge in a glass of water (I usually try to remember to tell them not to). One time I got a glass of water, no lemon wedge, but I tasted lemon, so I asked if it was lemon-flavored. No. The detergent just didn't get fully rinsed.
Jake – the restaurant I work out, we are instructed not by managers, but corporate rule, to automatically put lemons in all waters. Do not blame the server. If you forget to tell the server not to put lemon in your water, politely ask them to get you a new water without lemon, or take the lemon out yourself. I bet you even blamed the server for the dishwasher not doing his job properly.
Dear servers:
As a customer, I want you to realize that going out to eat, even at a moderatly priced chain or a fast food joint, is usually a splurge. I could make a meal at home for much cheaper, but I'm going out instead to be pampered and spoiled, and have someone else do all the work. *that* is what I am paying for. Please act accordingly.
I expect you to see me as a human being, to give me your full attention and make eye contact when talking to me–to give me good recommendations when I ask for them, and to give me service with a smile. I expect you to do what I ask, or, if you can't, tell me so immediately, along with what you *can* do instead.
In turn:
I will remember you are a human, and sometimes things go wrong, but in those cases, how you handle the aftermath matters a lot.
I will treat you like the human you are and try to be at least as respectful and polite to you as you are to me. I will not talk on my cell phone while you are interacting with me, I will not ignore you (unless you try to interrupt when we are obviously busy), I will look you in the eye and smile and say please and thank you, and I will give you the tip you deserve. 10-15% for acceptable to good service, 20 or more for great service, and less if you didn't meet my expectations. If you were awful, expect somewhere between 2 pennies and a dollar – enough to tell you that I didn't forget to tip, but you didn't earn one - and I probably will 1) write a letter to your management and 2) never come back. If you were exceptional, you will get 20%+ tip, and I will try to find a manager to express my appreciation.
Less than 15% is never acceptable for good service. EVERYONE knows that.
Most of this is one of the best responses I've read. You seem to really understand how serving and being a good customer works. However, you may want to rethink your tipping. 10% for bad service, 15% for average and 15%+ for excelent. Very few times do servers desreve less than 10%. We still should get paid for the energy and time put into some serving you.
I agree with Tisha. I've rarely had such poor service that I'll tip 10% but generally tip 15% for acceptable service and 20% for exceptional service. Accompanying the 20% for exceptional service is a positive word to the manager; as well, a word to the manager for how to improve service if it is below expectations. I normally hold managers accountable for a disappointing experience so I take my issue directly to them rather than taking it out on the server. Nevertheless, the server is the primary interface between the customer and the restaurant and the tip will reflect my experience.
If you only give 10 – 15% for GOOD service and came to my restaurant regularly, I'd pass your table along to the newbie server who is training and already dropped two trays and several water glasses today.
10% is NEVER acceptable. 15% says you thought your server was POOR. 18% is AVERAGE. 20% says you had a GOOD server. Above 20% says you had a GREAT server.
The ultimate thing that a server can do to me to make me not want to return to a restaurant is to put the check in front of my boyfriend at the end of the meal. It should be set flat in the middle of the table between the diners. In this day of gender equality, I find is extremely insulting as a woman when it is assumed that I won't be paying for dinner.
FYI, Katie, I always leave the check in between all the diners. Sometimes I'll even nudge it to the woman to see what happens. Quite literally, 99 times out of 100, the man pays. I'm all for gender equality, women's rights, etc...but when it comes to paying for meals, women generally don't. It's true. Maybe I phrased that the wrong way...maybe I should've said, When it comes to paying for meals, men don't let women pay. It's probably very much a mix of women getting a free meal and a man being a man (or thinking he's the man) by paying for the meal. In order for this stereotype to change, a huge conspiracy amongst women is going to have to happen. I promise you...you will have a revolt on your hands.
You'd think that if everyone behaved as responsible conscientious adults we'd all have a fine time eating in restaurants with the implicit understanding that at this core this is a business arrangement. Diners have a need to be filled and the restaurant staff are there to fill it in exchange for money. Simple right? few rules for diners;
1. Show up on time, with the same amount of people you have made a reservation for. Call the restaurant and let them know plans have changed. This will help your business relationship with your server, trust me if we think we are waiting on a 8 top at 8 and it turns in to 4 at 8:45, it is not good. for anyone, we have lost money, we could have seated that table with another 4 people instead of waiting for you, it's not fair to us, its rude and disrespectful.
2. Understand that if you just want to order some apps and look through the menu, your dinner order will go to kitchen when you order it, so yes you may have to wait 25 minutes for your dinner, but you made that choice not us. If you work in a restaurant like I do that makes food to order, it takes time to make it, we do not just toss a baggie in a pot of boiling water and squeeze out some sauce.
3. About the water thing, do you think we like doing that? Asking what water you'd like, its annoying for us too, but we have to ask , just get over it tell us what kind of water you want and stop bitching. if you have the question so much, be proactive. Just tell us what kind you prefer. And if you don't like ice, we're sorry we put ice in the pitchers to keep the water cold, do you really want the to have to wrangle ice cubes out of your glass/ i fyou want water without ice, spring for the $4 bottle of still water.
4. Sometimes we have no control over what happens in the restaurant, there are other people who make rules and desicions those people are called managers, owners and chefs.For the most part they get paid a salary, we depend on our tips. If the chef messes up your order and we have to scramble to fix it, its not our fault, yet you punish us by tipping less, think about that. We are not the ones who over salted your salad, overcooked your burger or forgot to put the dressing on the side. We are not responsible for the fact that the wine list is out of date, or that we ran out of your favorite dessert. We are the messengers, don't shoot us,
5. Please don't ask us if we think You would like a dish, we don't know you, we've never met before, how on earth are we supposed to know what you like. Instead try asking us to describe the dish then you can make the choice. Because if we tell you you'll like some thing and you don't who are you going to blame?
6. It's not always easy to tell if you're done with your food, some people like to push their dish to side and converse for 15 minutes before going back to it. So we have to ask. We try to find a creative ways of asking if you are finished without sounding rude. I hate when I'm asked if I'm working on my food too, but only because of the phrasing.
7. 10% is not an acceptable tip
8. Speaking of tipping, if you spend $65 dollars on dinner, and then linger over coffee chatting for another hour after wards, please consider that you may be preventing your server from further income, perhaps you might want to up that tip a bit, especially if we spend that hour, getting you (free) coffee refills and (free) glasses of water.
9. Unless you are the only table at the restaurant, you are not the only table at the restaurant, please understand that, you maybe the best most well behaved table ever, but we're stuck describing every single thing on the menu to the man who doesn't feel like reading it, we're rewriting an entire table's order because someone changed their mind, we're begging an angry hungover chef to please please please make your salad.
10 Speaking of the menu. Don't assume that you know what we have on the menu without looking at the menu, and just order something that you want. You see the dishes on that menu, that's what we have, don't ask us to make something else. We're happy to adjust things for allergies and health concerns but the menu has been devised with thought and time and energy, the kitchen is prepared to make what we have on the menu. Don't ask us to make you mashed potatoes or spaghetti and meatballs if its not on the menu.
11. If you ask for the sauce on the side or no sauce , and then tell us your dish was too plain or you didn't like it maybe you should have ordered it as is, or gotten something else. You are in a restaurant, the chef is not your personal chef.
12. Don't haggle with the prices, especially not with us. We did not write the menu, or make up the pricing, if you think it's too expensive go somewhere else. Also corkage fees, restaurants are businesses, and not especially profitable ones compared to other businesses. We have set the corkage fee, it is the mark-up on our lowest priced bottle of wine, sorry if you think we're trying to rip you off by charging that, but that's the way it is, just because you only spent 5.99 on that bottle of Chilean Shiraz, doesn't mean we have to suffer for it. Same for plate fees if you bring a cake. We still have to wash the dishes, clean up after you etc.
13. In general most of us want to be good at our job, we want you to have a good time, enjoy the food and come back again. Help us out, treat us with respect and in turn we will treat you with respect, we have to treat you well even if you are acting like a complete jackass, so maybe if you know you're acting like a jackass tip a little better.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
A Server you are so right, I have been in the biz for 25 years, I agree with every thing you said. People need to understand what is expected from management. How if the server does not follow any "Steps of Service" they could be reprimanded by management. Being a server is not always easy and not always rewarding when you get certain guest who are just plain rude in your section. As a chef, what gets me is when a good server gets frustraded by obnoxious guest. There are some people in the world who need a kick in the pants and realize there is no reason to treat your server so horrible.
10% is most definitely an acceptable tip. Its not my problem that you don't make enough money. You shouldn't even be tipped at all if you did below average service. Be glad you get anything.
Btw, tipping was never meant to make up for the wage you aren't getting. Tipping was meant to award you for exceptional service and encourage the behavior.
You posted twice, so I'll call you a cunt twice. Cunt.
PeteH, I like your style, I like your moves.
@ Melissa...while everyone is entitiled to their opinion, did you know that many states have laws regardng how much tipped employees make per hour? There is a reason is it so low (usually $2.50-$2.75/hour)...most times it is state mandated and many or most companies go by that ruling. Your right it is not your fault that tipped servers make so little an hour....because most governments know they will get tipped accordingly..unless they are waiting on someone like you.
Melissa – 10% is absolutely not an acceptable tip unless you received less than good service. If you can't tip 15% for good service and 20% for great service then you can't afford to eat out.
Melissa – STAY HOME!!!
Thank you for information. Eating at home will do just fine...
As a customer, I have to disagree with the particulars of a few of these.
I do understand some of your other customers are a-holes. But that is not my problem, and should not affect the level of service I receive. I should get the same level of quality service regardless of what else is going on in your section. (that said, I know i'm not your only table, and should have some patience.)
I should be able to ask you for advice and recommendations. No, you don't know my particular tastes. I don't expect you to. But you do know the Tilapia is 3 days old, the ribeye is particularly good today, the shrimp are amazing today, and the cook on shift in the chicken station right now is the one who really can't cook. So steer me towards a couple of the best choices, like the ribeye or shrimp (from there, I can choose based on my taste... or if I don't like either, I can choose something else.)
I want tap water without ice. Deal with it. The Iciness detracts from the taste of the delicious food, and I'm not spending 4 bucks for water. Especially tinny-tasting nasty bottled water.
I understand everything that goes wrong is not your personal fault. But it is the restatraunt's fault. And it is your job, as my liasion to the restaraunt, to 1) try to cushion me from other's errors (such as noticing the order is wrong.) and 2) to fix them. If you do neither, that *is* your fault, and your tip will reflect it.
Above all, too many servers these days think people are only there to eat.
If I were only there to eat, I'd spend 50 cents on Kraft mac & cheese at the grocery store, and make it myself. I am there spending $30, $50, $100 or more for the two of us... for the whole experience of good food, good environment, and good service. If any of those are lacking, I won't come back. If you treat me with the "just another customer" attitiude, your tip will be low. If you treat me with kindness, respect, and make me feel a little pampered, and ensure my experience is positive and memorable, that too will be reflected in your tip in a very good way. And I will come back and will continue to tip well.
In reply to "A Server"
Pretty much the most amazing accurate list of suggests to restaurant patrons I have ever read.
I would also add:
14. Please do not take BOTH copies of the credit card slip. There are two – one is yours, one is mine. If you take both copies, I don't get a tip because I don't have the little piece of paper proving what my tip should be. Oh and VERBAL tips DO NOT COUNT.
15. If you don't really have an allergy to nuts/tomatoes/diary/whatever DON'T SAY YOU DO just because you don't like something. If you don't like it, we will tell the kitchen to put it on the side or not on the plate. ALLERGIES are serious, and should be treated as such (often requiring the entire dish/sauce/prep work to be done from scratch – taking longer, and perhaps tasting slightly different than the "normal") Please don't say you have an ALLERGY if you really don't.
16. Realize that if you ask for FIVE million exceptions (no this, on the side that, split this, extra that) for every plate in an order – it will take longer, the kitchen will hate you, and those tiny little tickets we type up or write up for the kitchen only hold so much information. The likelihood of a mistake greatly increases when every plate in an order has exceptions. That being said, feel free to order it that way if you wish.
17. Don't make up an order. No you cannot pick and choose and mash several items together to make a dish. It doesn't work that way. Kitchens aren't set up to make it and computers aren't set up to charge for it. If you can order it separately, it'd be listed under "Sides and a la carte" – if it's not there, then you can't order it that way!
18. If you have a kid and he makes a giant mess (dumps out all the sugar packets, tears his napkin into a million pieces and makes it snow, smears ketchup all over the underside of the table and chair) either give an extra nice tip OR help clean up the mess before you leave. Likewise, please don't let the child roam or run around – its dangerous for them, us, and maybe even you or your dinner if they get underfoot when we're coming through with large trays.
19. If you choose to sit outside, be aware that their may be bits of nature beyond your server's control – weather, wind, bugs, or bits of tree leaves that fall from the sky into your glass are not my fault.
20. Last but not least, please don't speak to use like we have no education. Many of us have other "real" jobs and degrees – we're just not currently making enough money to pay the bills. Be respectful.
As to those who were complaining earlier about servers who squat down next to tables – I do so when I cannot hear the person speaking – whether due to noise level in the restaurant, music, or a quiet person. I want to get your order right. I want you to have a good time. I want you to come back. All of that is good for me. Don't be annoyed – this is me wanting to do a good job!
Be respectful of closing times. Don't "camp out" at a table forever, or if you do – please leave a nice tip. Remember most servers get paid nearly NOTHING per hour – our tips are our wages! Don't let your chair block the whole aisle so we can't get around the table. DO NOT rearrange our tables, chairs, and other furniture!
Oh and one more . . this is sort of therapeutic after a long day of serving . . If you bring in coupons, gift certificates, etc. please still tip as if those discounts were not in place – Saving $20 because of your "get one free" coupon does not entitle you to tip less because the meal was cheaper. The food was still delivered. You still have silverware, water, etc. We have to SHARE OUR TIPS with others – bussers, dishwashers, hostess, bartender – And we get paid diddlie-squat per the hour. Please don't dock our tips for things outside of our control or because you had coupons.
I prefer formal, professional waiters. Absolutely do not squat down or sit unless you are already good friends with the diners. Managers, please stop encouraging this behavior. It's bad at any price range.
Please don't write your name on the paper tablecloth. I'm not 5 years old.
Keep the refillable drinks (water and soda) coming. If I run out, you have failed.
Absolutely write down my order. The waiter's job is not to be cocky and impressive. It's to be accurate and subservient. As someone else said, I'm paying the money, you are getting paid. Act like it. The jobless rate is high right now. If you don't like serving people, there are plenty of people who can take your job.
Don't ask me how it is before I've taken a bite.
I've seen what professional waiters do. They will actually watch from a distance to see if and when I need something. Lazy waiters just walk up and ask random questions whether or not they make sense.
How dare you use the handle "TheDude" ! The Dude would never have such an arrogant, self-absorbed attitude toward other people. You're a piece of shit.
PeteH I thought you pulled that dildo out of your ass and went to bed in your trailer back there in Bumphouk, Georgia!! Put it back in and stop your weak, rude and insulting (and profanity-laden) comments. You SUK, idiot-slut. I *Pee-Pee* on you douchebag PeteH LOL
Everyone knows there's no internet in Georgia.
You are obviously too uptight to even refer to yourself as a dude....The reason you are likely getting crappy service is likely because of your attitude. You will get exactly what you deserve at any establishment, if you are going to be a prick because your water glass is slightly emptier than you think it should be I am going to wait until it is completely empty before refilling it. And, if you prefer that I stand at the table so you can look across the table at my crotch, that is fine, but I am going to take a knee for most customers so I can work with them on a eye contact kind of business.
Take it easy, you are getting something to eat not surgery.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER, don't mess with the people that handle your food. I have never messed with anybody's meal, but I CAN.
To "TheRealDude"-> I *Pee-Pee* on YOUR food!! (cuz you put your *bougars* on other people's food!)
I work in a very fine dining place, arguably the best french restaurant in Chicago where none of these complaints exist. It is so offensive to see poor writers complain about their mediocre dining experiences in mediocre establishments. Mistakes happen in every business it takes a quality person to understand that and move on. Unless you work in a restaurant and know the pressures of such a job, don't announce your opinion please.
Sorry Charles, we pay the bills, good food good service and people will beat a path to your door, our opinions make that happen! RMK
Charles, so you are stating that consumers of good or service should not communicate their needs because they have never been a producer of that good or service. If people adhered to such a principle, then consumers would get less of what they want (the good or service) and producers would get less of what they want (compensation). Thankfully, both consumers and producers are driven to improve themselves, and in so doing, improve each other. Casual observation of how the world works rejects your statement.
I don't like when I get a waiter/waitress that takes my order then another waiter/waitress brings me the food. Makes me wonder who I'm tipping sometimes.
Another server is bringing you food because restaurants, generally, work as a team. There is the your server (or waiter/waitress, for people still holding on to the 1987), bartender, busser, FOOD RUNNER, host, etc. The server cannot do his/her job alone, so the TIP you are paying to your SERVER, will actually be divided in some fashion between all the other workers mentioned on my list.
The way you complained right here about someone else bringing you your food, I can imagine you actually creating a ruckus in a restaurant and getting upset about that. Is it really that big of a deal? You got your food, right? Was it cooked the right way? Did the server come back after a few bites to make sure it tastes like it should? If you answered yes to all of these questions, then chill out. You're too neurotic for your own good.
In that situation, you are almost certainly tipping the "team" that is serving you. In many restaurants tips are pooled and then split according to arrangements that vary from establishment to establishment. These arrangements are done for a variety of reasons which include providing you better service and operating a more efficient restaurant.
I actually do have a question for some of the customers here – usually when I address my customers I will say either "guys" or "folks" for mixed gender groups, gentlemen if it's just men and "ladies" if it's just women. I've been told before the "guys" is too informal (and I'm seeing that here, and believe me, it's understood), but I've also been told by people they don't like being called "folks" because it makes them feel old. Does anyone have a preference for terms, or should I just say "How are you doing tonight?" and so on and so forth? I feel like the only reason I add another word is to make sure everyone is aware that I'm addressing everyone at the table and not just one person. Any suggestions?
JM: I'm not one of the people bothered by this, but 'you' is correct, for plural/mixed gender settings. "How are you doing this evening?" seems perfect. "How is everyone this evening?" would also work. "Can I get anyone an appetizer" would prob be better than "Can I get you guys..." or "Can I get you folks..." b/c both seem to bother various people, for whatever reason. (For the record, I agree that 'guys' isn't proper etiquette when women are involved, it's just that I don't care.)
JM – thanks for a thoughtful question. I agree with Christy. "You" is a perfectly acceptable term to address one or more people in the English language. It needs no "guys" or "folks" to qualify it. "Sir" or "Ma'am" would be formal in the appropriate situation, but not always necessary.
It sounds like none of these people ever worked in the restaurant business or only dine casual places. Pick up a copy of 'Waiter's Rant' and maybe you won't complain so much.
I work in the hotel industry. I know exactly what waiters go through. We go through the same thing, sometimes worse.
I can deal with 99% of server errors and idiosyncrasies. Just PLEASE don't lie to me as to why it is taking forever to bring out an order. Just admit that you forgot to put the order in and it will be right out. I'm hungry and cranky and in no mood for excuses.
Just an fyi, a lot of those "excuses" actually are right. When you get slammed at a restaurant a lot of the times the cooks will forget to throw something in the fryer for 10 minutes. Sometimes we do forget to put something in but a lot of the times that's not the case. As a server I've had to wait over 20 minutes for food that normally takes 3 minutes to make, it isn't always our fault
i hate it when they start taking peoples' dishes away when someone is still eating. RUDE! just let everyone finish THEN take all the dishes. it's not right for someone to be the last one sitting there with a plate!
You can make all the people happy some of the time. You can make some of the people happy all of the time. But rest assured, you will never make all the people happy all the time!!!
(Especially those who are prone to finding something wrong which, let's face it, some people are. Misery just LOVES company. I pity those people. If you are one of those people, you might try looking at the glass as half full- although it will take a lot of effort for you- it will undoubtedly provide big dividends in the enjoyment of your dining.. and life.. experiences. ; ) )
On the "calling you hon" thing. I HATE that. I don't know you, so don't call me hon, dear, sweetie, or even by my first name. Not at any time. Not unless I tell you to. I'm Ma'am or Miss (actually Mrs. but most people won't know that). I'm not your friend or your family, and no amount of you calling me by my first name or by calling me a nickname.
To my friends and family, you can call me by my first name or my nickname depending how close we are. To everyone else... learn to be polite.
Oh and incidentally, I'm 34 years old, not an old woman. But I don't like being addressed in the familiar, and don't even like that I have to give customers my first name as per company protocol.
Someone needs a stickupassectomy.
I used to be a server and I hate when people think that you have to tip 20%. If you come to my table three or four times(no matter how nice you were) you don't deserve $40 bucks on my $200 tab if you only did $10 worth of work. Tip should be based on service not the price of your cut of meat and bottle of wine.
I enjoy eating out. I generally tip 15% for average service, and have a hard time with tipping less, and tip a higher % at the less expensive restaurants. I find that I eat at restaurants of varied price ranges. It ranges from over $100 for dinner for two to less than $10 for a complete lunch. I have found that I have a baseline for tipping that is nearly unrelated to the price of the food. If I am spending an hour at a local barbeque place, and lunch for two runs around $10, I have a hard time tipping $1.50 for good food and good service. I'll likely leave a $5 or $10 tip. Is 50-100% extravagant? It's only $5 for an hour's service. If I was getting the same service at a restaurant costing $50 for two for lunch $5 would be cheap.
I haven't really run into bad service recently. Much of the problems I think people at restaurants run into is they don't know how to talk to the people working there. They are there to make me happy, and I like people who try to make me happy. Why wouldn't I want to encourage that? Great job! I certainly don't want to crush the people trying to make my life a little easier. Lets work together to make this a great dining experience for all of us.
Some things that I try not to do in restaurants.
– get there minutes before closing and keep the staff there late when there is only my table.
– freak out over mistakes in the order. Mistakes happen, and most places fix them right up.
– let my kids run loose. Part of growing up is learning how to behave in public, and kids need to get out and learn those skills, but restaurants aren't daycare, and the other customers, and waitstaff aren't there to provide free child care while you ignore them and eat your dinner.
– whine about the wait to get seated. (If it's worth waiting for, I wait. If not I go elsewhere.)
I try to order for the toddlers when the drink order is placed, so they have their food early, and have a chance to practice eating out before they get too bored just sitting still.
i really don't like it one bit when a waitress comes over and places her hand on my back and asks how everything is. it is my personal space issues, as well as offensive to my wife. and, i will actually reduce a tip based on that single issue.
This complaint seems reasonable. Noone needs to be touching anyone else... The only reasonable one I've seen, along with 'want your change.'
Reasonable to reduce someone's tip because of your phobia??? Not like the server is grabbing your crotch.
You're right, the tip should not be reduced, but I can see why people don't like it.
On the topic of steaks. Say, I(the waiter) am hungry and someone orders a rare steak. Well, once in a while I punch in Well done. "OPPSSS they wanted it rare cook another one." Look who gets to eat that well done steak.
So, sometimes your steak may take longer than it should
Best explanation ever.
see I go with the salmon and after they put the seasoning on it I say oops my bad they wanted the other seasoning. so good
I'm a server at a "nicer" restaurant (we don't sit down at tables with our guests, but we are instructed to smile as much as possible), and some of the complaints I've been hearing from diners about this blurb are actually griefs servers have with rude guests! Truth be told, I don't want to be your friend either! As a diner, you are going to have my attention for the next 45 – 60 minutes, so in order to make it a more pleasurable experience for ME, I'm going to be as friendly as possible to pull the friendly out of YOU (most people are totally rude and treat servers as second class citizens). Also, I don't understand diners who, when they complain about their food, blame the server for the problem. This happens more than one may think. I want to help you. I want you to have an enjoyable meal, because if you do, you'll tell your friends, you'll come back, hell...you might even ask for me again! So if you have a problem with your food, just remember the old adage: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar – Don't be snippy, don't be curt, DO NOT RAISE YOUR VOICE – be polite, tell me what the problem is, and I will fix it. The nicer a guest is to me, the more I encourage my manager to give them for free. It's as simple as that...we don't have a lot of sway in the kitchen, but when it comes to handing out freebies to guests, at my restaurant anyway, servers generally call the shots.
I have a whole litany of things GUESTS do in restaurants that would blow your minds! Or probably not, because most of you think this is totally acceptable behavior when dining out. A good rule of thumb to remember is: Your server is at work, and probably doesn't want to be there for whatever reason. Just be nice to them. If you're at Hooters or Outback or one of those C – restaurants, then for pete's sake don't wet your panties if he/she sits down with you! Is it REALLY that big of a deal? If the food and drink comes out quickly and correctly and the server is friendly, really, that's all I look for. A pat on the back, a handshake, a lame joke...it's what we do. We're sorry. I don't understand why diners freak out sometimes.
A person made the comment that they don't like being asked if they are done with that? Well, on the flip side it is a big pet peeve to go to a table and the person has their cutlery cocked to the side of an nearly empty plate You ask or attempt to clear and get an earful. We are doing our jobs!
Wow, people complain way too much...
Seriously, "guys" bothers you. Check out the dictionary(or everyday speak). About the most generic term you could say to a group of people is "guys"
Guy
–noun
1. Informal . a man or boy; fellow: He's a nice guy.
2. Usually, guys. Informal . persons of either sex; people: Could one of you guys help me with this?
Yep, apparently it does bother quite a few of us so in the spirit of the original article the food servers ought to pay attention. The term "you guys" is too informal to be used by a person providing service to a customer who is unknown to him/her. It strikes many of us as sloppy. On the other hand in the (rare) circumstances I was addressed as "sir," I tipped generously, recommended the restaurant and came back again.
@ NR I agree with your post 100%. I am African American as well. My husband and I have experienced hostile, subpar treatment while eating out, also. Some servers comes to the table with an attitude. We know it is because they ASSume we are not going to leave a tip. My spouse and I have never worked in food service, but we always tip well for good service. We know servers don't make much money and the tip is just part of the price of the meal. We always tip 20% for good service and more for really great service. The false stereotype that most black people don't tip probably does become a self-fulfilling prophecy for the servers in many cases, I suspect. You servers are telling people to go to better establishments if they want better service: perhaps you servers should work at better establishments with better clientele if you want better tips. It goes both ways. Also, tips are earned. Don't treat me like crap because of some racist hangup you have and think I'm going to tip you well. Treat every customer well and leave your stereotypes at the door. Personally, we will not sit through a meal with a bad server. If the service is bad, we leave and talk to the manager on the way out. I also won't put up with racism with my meal and I sure as hell won't leave a tip for it.
Totally understand that. I'm a white man and my fiance is black. She was seated at a restaurant once while I was parking my car (it was raining so I let her off at the door). As I sat down with her, I actually overheard the server say, "Oh, thank God. I'll get a tip." What was most disconcerting was that the server himself was black. Sad, isn't it?
No, Pete's comment is merely shallow and spiteful, much like most of his other comments on this blog.
There's nothing funny or admirable about idiocy.
To whom are you replying? You do know there's a reply button, don't you?
Actually, what I hate the most is when you order a steak and it comes out practically raw. I like mine pretty rare but purple is not rare. A lot of people like it medium and if it is undercooked, they will actually take the steak you sent back, after it's been cut, and then put it back in the broiler or whatever.
steaks are cooked on a grill
#1. KNOW your steak temps!! Rare is a COOL, red center. If you want a warm steak, don't order it rare!
#2. There is not one restaurant in the world that is going to start from scratch if your steak is undercooked!! Overcooked, of course they will need to put a new steak on. But undercooked? Why would they possibly not just bring the temperature up on the one you already cut into?!!
"Are you still working on that?" can be a little annoying, but even more annoying is when the server just grabs your plate off the table and walks away, even though there is still food on it. This happened to a couple of friends of mine recently when we went to a nice, expensive restaurant. We had reserved a private room for a party. One of my friends (the birthday girl, in fact) stepped away from her half-eaten dinner for a few minutes to talk to someone on the other side of the room, and presto, her plate disappeared. The other turned to talk to someone at a table behind her, and when she turned back, her dinner was gone. Granted, there were only a few bites left on her plate, but she had been looking forward to eating them! Giving a lousy tip wasn't an option–because of the size of our party, they had already tacked a nice big gratuity on to our bills for us!
I hate when I walk into a restaurant and these things are said to me: 1 – how are you GUY's tonight, what can I get you GUYS to drink, etc. 2 – Only 2 of you for dinner? First, I'm not a guy and there is nothing wrong with two people eating together. I've told several servers to stop calling me "guy" and they look totally surprised because they don't realize they are doing it and how annoying it is. Their manager should tell them to speak in generic phrases.
choose your battles bonnie...choose your battles. "you guys" is a common phrase that speaks nothing to your gender (even if you assume it to). Also, when you're telling these servers to stop calling you "guys"...they're probably going to give a polite smile...walk to the kitchen and put something "extra" in your food. Is it worth it? Something to consider...just looking out for you Bonny.
is it just me or does the waiter above look really really stoned?!
lol yeah. I work at a restaurant and I personally have never done drugs and i only drink with family, but i have seen people come into work stoned out of their minds
all i can say is that how a person treats a waitperson is a true test of their character. i'm always friendly and polite because they're doing a nice service for me. if they're not doing it well, i'm not going to make myself even more miserable by feeding into it and being rude and PO'd. it makes no sense. i want dining out to be a fun, relaxing experience. i'm sure your waitperson 99% of the time is willing to make that happen. it's all about how we treat each other. waitpeople have hard jobs and i appreciate it when they do it well, but some people just are better than others. i don't take bad service personally (though if it's truly terrible i might complain to the manager) and ultimately, if i got my food and it tasted good, i'm happy.
To the "not so rich commenter" – BS – if you don't have the money to tip adequately for the quality service you receive you should not be eating out. if you have enough money to eat out that means you have enough money to tip.
I couldn't believe how many customers were just out to get a free meal. After a few months of serving you can actually spot them after a few seconds. Nothing you ever do will please them. Also don't pretend like you thought you were ordering the appetizer portion of ribs when you picked a salad dressing and a potatoe side. Really what appetizer comes with that? Customers can be dirty rotten scoundrels.
Always a small vile of Silver Fish to spinkel just before finishing main course.
Ugh, so much complaining. I completely understand why you are eating alone.
Also, we don't want to wait on your 1 top...though I am sure you enjoy reading a book at the table(or better yet using your electronic devices) your $12check will net us a big $3-5 tip....For our 1 hour of service. Get some take out and go home to your pets instead, they might enjoy seeing you come in the door. we don't
Um,I wouldn't piss off the wait staff if I was anyone.I was a chef some years ago and when a wait staff came to the line complaining about this order and would give me the "LOOK"of you know what to do!You don't want to know what your putting in your mouth.I NEVER eat at any place thats a franchise or out of my element.If you only knew.
ALL OF YOU STOP WHINING. There are real problems in the world.
I went to a diner and ordered a coffee with my meal. The coffee mug came with red lipstick on it. I pointed this out to the waitress and she brought me a different mug of coffee with *different* lipstick on it! When I pointed this out again, she brought me a third mug of coffee and told me it doesn't have any lipstick because she checked this time.
I understand mistakes happen, but if I complain about lipstick or food on my fork or whatever and ask for a new one, I would hope you would check the replacement before giving it to me!
I am black and tip very well, please do not overgeneralize that shows that you are not culturally versed.
lady thank you for tipping well, but tell all "black" people to do the same. 2 off of a 90 dollar tab is not a tip. It's a waste of time especially when they're regulars to the restaurant and give everybody that same tip
I really hate it when servers walk up to you and ask you how things are JUST as you put food into your mouth. They should be more polite to wait just a few seconds.
Wow, I can't believe the response to some of these comments. Attacking people–calling them names that require astriks**– because you disagree with their opinion on WAITSTAFF??? Not on a topic that one might expect someone to react passionately, not war or poverty or dying but waitstaff??? wow.
I'm not belittling the topic of the discussion but some folks are just looking for a place to throw their weight around.
It goes deeper, though. This is a discussion about how to treat other human beings in general, and that is where the passion comes from. You're right though, there's some nasty stuff here, alot of it written by me, but I've seen alot of arrogance and entitlement and that shit makes me mad.
As a former server (7 years) here is my list of dont's for the patrons
5. By all means, eat at your own pace and enjoy your meal, but when you're finished, don't sit around and talk for 3 additional hours. There are other people who would like to eat as well. Talking for three hours isn't just rude to the staff, it's rude to the other cutomers who have waited patiently for a table.
4. Families with small children. I love kids, I now have kids...but parents...do you really think it's a good idea to give your toddler all the soda crackers at the table so he can crunch them up into a heap of crumbs to be scattered and strewn across the restruant floor? Please- when going out for a meal, try to think of a treat/snack that doesn't cause such a disaster at the table. It's not only rude to the staff, it makes your family look like a bunch of slobs.
3. If you're wanting your check to be split into a million different checks...fine. But don't make it impossible for me by playing musical chairs all night. I try to do the best I can to remember where you are and what you ordered by writing down your seat number, not your hair color, what you're wearing and the color of your eyes. If you want your check split, fine, I don't have a problem with that...but PICK A SEAT and sit in it.
2. I've grown up in the church and I go to church every Sunday but I have to say...there is no worse group of people to serve than church people. They are often times overly needy, rude, arrogant, and they just...don't...tip. I dont' know if it's because they gave as part of the offering that morning in church...but they just don't tip. It reflects poorly on you as a person to act this way and it certainly reflects poorly on your church and or denomination. Also, just because I'm a server doesn't mean I'm some lost soul. I go to church too...I just have to go to early service so I can get to work to make ends meet. Furthermore, don't look at me like I'm some deadbeat kid who can't do anything but serve tables. I'm in graduate school getting my masters.
1. My ULTIMATE pet peeve: DO NOT SNAP AT ME. Don't snap at me when you need your bill, refill or food. Politley raise a hand, gesture me over or forbid you ever call me by my name...but don't you EVER snap at me. When someone snaps at me I'll call another server to attend to you as my fist might snap your face. Don't ever snap at a server (unless you want a little something "extra" in your food).
I can pretty much assure you that most the complaints from the article above come from people who have either never served before, or served a few decades ago and have forgotten what it's really like. Being a server has changed the way I dine in restruants and if you've been a waitor I'm sure it's done the same for you. If you' have not served before than I'm going to do my best but I'm not going to loose sleep over the fact that I didn't get it right for you...because when it comes to people like you...I'll never get it right no matter what I do.
JB – i agree. we must have worked together before haha...
If someone is rude to me I just keep going back to the table grinning. If they come back to the restaurant I ask that they be sat in my section everytime. They either chill out and realize I'm not out to get them or they nevercome back. Because in my expierence they keep coming back and complain each time.
Well said JB.
The difference between people who have waited tables and those who have not is clear as day. I have said "everyone should wait tables for at least a week, at some point in their lives" , it's very humbling and it really puts "service" into perspective. I can't stand being out with someone who is rude to a server, or acts superior....servers work hard, take alot of crap, and just cross their fingers that people will tip decently so they can actually claim enough in tips to make it worth the double shift they just worked, while they have course work to complete, or a family at home they haven't seen in 12 hours!
I didn't have time to read everyone's posts and comments, but after reading a few things I wanted to share some input.
I have served for 5 years. I've worked at Friendly's, Applebees, and Olive Garden. Friendly's is a very family friendly atmosphere, but we were never told to crouch or sit when taking an order. Management left that option up to us and whatever the server was comfortable or familiar with is what they did. I was a stander, but I worked with people who crouched, and I didn't think it was always appropriate, even for such a casual restaurant. At Applebee's we were told to stand, and we did. Olive Garden actually had a 2 week training program to tell us exactly how they wanted everything done. There was never any sitting or crouching at a table, and we were instructed to greet our tables in specific ways. This eliminated the problem with saying 'you guys'. We actually got in trouble for uttering those words. My solution was the word 'everyone' or 'folks'. It was not offensive, and did not imply any feeling of rank between us.
Another thing I would like to say is that servers are not 'below' the customer. We are not your servants or slaves. We are there to provide a service, true, and we do so to the best of our ability, but please remember that we are human, just like you. Everyone has their story. Some people think servers are only there because they couldn't get another job. I will tell you that I served for 4 years during college so I could pay to get my degree, and then after I graduated college and got my degree and my fancy corporate job, the economy tanked and I got laid off, so I went back to serving. I am not dumb, I am not stupid, I am not incompetent, I am not lazy, and I am not your slave. If I do a good job, tip me well. If I don't meet your expectations, or if you have a bad experience, still tip me, but it doesn't have to be above and beyond a standard tip (15-20%). Unless I cause harm to you in any way, I should receive a tip. Remember: servers make far less than minimum wage, and we work hard with the hopes of reaping the benefits when you pay your check.
As far as servers' pet peeves that customers do:
– make us come back multiple times during your meal to bring what you need: refills, ketchup, a straw, salt and pepper, condiments, silverware, etc. We should provide everything to you, but if there is something else you need, please make an assessment of what it is, and I will go bring everything back to you. 8 trips are not necessary. I don't mind standing at the table while you figure out what you need, as long as it will only take one trip to satisfy you. I have other tables to take care of who need my attention as well, so please be respectful of their time as well.
– When I come to the table to ask if you'd like something to drink, or if you're ready to order, please do not sit there in silence. Either say you need an extra minute, ask me my opinion on our dishes, ask questions about our meals, or go ahead and order, but please, please, please, don't just sit there and make me continue asking you what you want. Again, our attention is needed elsewhere if you need more time.
As for the things that servers say that people hate, here are some suggestions for fixing them:
Problem Question: "What can I get you guys?"
Solution: "What can I get for everyone tonight?"
Problem Question: "Are you still working on that?" and "Did you save room for dessert?"
Solution: "I'd be happy to get some of these dishes out of your way while you finish up. If you're thinking about dessert tonight, may I suggest our White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake. It's sweet but not too filling, and one of my favorites." (then leave the table, wait until their finished, come to the table with their check in hand, but ask if they've decided on dessert. if not, leave the check so they don't have to wait for you to leave to get it and come back again)
Just a few thoughts from someone who has had some experience.
This writer seems to have some serious male/female sexuality issues. Have you considered seeing a psychologist, hon?
I have been serving customers in top hotel restaurants for over 3 decades.
I take pride in the job I do, and I truly care about my customers and the experience they have while dining. I work with, and serve, people from all walks of life, and I am very happy to report that people for the most part are truly good at heart.
Some sadly, are not, and are selfishly intent only on their experience whether or not it impacts the guests dining around them.
My pet peeve is when a gazillion people enter the restaurant at once and bullying begins. I must say that all the staff absolutely is working at top speed and no one is slacking at all, from the dishwashers trying to keep up with clean utensils and plates, to the cooks trying to cook 100 different items all timed and created perfectly, to the servers who should be overwhelmed but remain focused and manage to tell a few jokes to keep the atmosphere lively and fun...to the very over worked management team that is the glue that binds us all together...
So when this is the situation as outlined above, and in the crowded room one table of people starts saying things like, "Hey waitress!! What's going on, did they have to go out and catch the fish??" evil laugh. They are apologized to and asked if they would care for a cup of soup (readily available) on the house until their food is ready. "Soup, humph I hope you are going to do more than that!! We have been waiting HALF AN HOUR for our food. That is RIDICULOUS!!! Where is your manager?!!! If we don't get our food right now we are going to LEAVE!!"
And all the very kind, just-as-hungry-but-much-more-classy people have to endure not only the added wait, but the "charming" exhibition put on by the "bully table."
I've served 'em and I've sat in other restaurants near 'em, and the morale of the story is, DON'T be that bully table. Its just not nice, you are not earning respect, and you will be remembered but not for qualities that are admirable.
I dislike when they set the check down WHILE I'M CLEARLY STILL EATING and say, "Whenever you're ready." Way to shove me out the door, folks. And once I'm out, I won't be coming back!
This comment just gave me cancer.
I have been a server in a high class restaurant for several years. There are several truly awful servers roaming the world's dining rooms, but some of these complaints show just how ignorant some people are. First, if your water is approaching half-empty, I am going to fill it...every time. It's not that I like the way that you smell, believe me, but rather that I want you to have fresh, crisp, icy water. Second, if you enter a restaurant alone, inform the server that you will be dining solo. You should always identify how many will be dining. Day one stuff, people. Finally, if you go to a restaurant where servers sit with you, you are most likely at Hooters or some other low-class chain restaurant. You have no one to blame but yourself. Okay, one more. Sometimes whether or not you are finished is not so clear-cut. If I approach you based on my informed judgement and politely ask "may I clear this?", do not be snippy. I am only trying to help.
I really don't get peeved by much. The squatting down by the table doesn't bug me, and while your sitting down with me surprises me, I'm not bothered by it. I am pretty laid back. However, I cannot stand it when I pay the server with cash and he/she asks, "Do you want change back?" :-| Seriously, yeah, I want my change back, and I don't appreciate your assuming that you can just keep my money. Yes, I am going to leave you a tip, and yes, I know you don't get paid very much by the hour, so as long as you did your job I will give you what I think you deserve. But it makes you seem desperate to go ahead and get your tip – which, even if you are, you shouldn't ACT like you are.
Let me just say that for every person who is annoyed by the question, there is a person who is annoyed when you bring it back with a brusque "I don't need that" when he/she looks at the book. If a table seems to be in a hurry, I generally ask because it saves me the time of figuring the change then coming back and finding them gone. If I can avoid this step, I can maybe get another table their drinks quicker or get food out.
The art of waiting tables ia all about time management and juggling multiple tasks. If I can take one task off the table during a busy lunch, I can better manage my time.
As a former waitress, I HATE when a server asks if you want the change. Of COURSE I want the chenge, so I may decide what your tip will be. SO presumptuous!!
I guess so much has changed since I waited tables. I enjoyed the job. Some people want to feel important, treat them that way. Why take it personally? Treat your guests with respect and dignity (and have a sense of humor). Not only will they tip you well, they'll come back and ask for you.
I only left waiting tables because the opportunity to become a Flight Attendant presented itself. I enjoyed that profession for over 35 years. Yes, there were challenges, but the rewards far overshadowed any negatives.
I worked my entire life in service. I am proud of that. One just has to learn to roll with it. I'm retired now, if I didn't need a cane to get around, I'd still be working. :)
This author sounds like my very annoying, unhappy and rude younger sister. Who is critical of service staff no matter what they do or don't do. You just cannot satisfy some people. And yes, yes, yes here in the south we call you "honey" even though on many days we have another five letter name in mind! Get over yourself, quit going out if you are that annoyed by every little thing a service person does.
My husband and I are in our 60's. We still "dress" to go out to dinner. I have a 42" bust strapped inside my sweater. Then, a young server says, "How are you guys!" "What can I get for you guys?" Guys? Excuse me
Cry more.
I totally agree with your email. Being called "guys" is my pet peeve!
People use the word guys just as a general term, not as a comment on people's gender. Perhaps the fact that the term bothers you ladies so much is that you aren't secure about your femininity. It's just not a big deal, start dining topless if you need such attention regarding your gender.
grow up...why would you be offended at a server calling you guys? guys is a common word used in our society to generalize more then one person...stop being so uptight and enjoy the bacon cheeseburger you just ordered for 8.99....unreal
Good point, Monica. My wife is a 36DD and I never stopped to consider that "you guys" addressed her alone rather than the two of us! No matter. Food servers take note: addressing patrons as "you guys" is considered by many as impolite, too informal and/or inappropriate. When I'm addressed as "sir" I'm putty in the hands of the server.
36DD isn't "guy" it's COW UDDER........GROSS!
Let your fat tits hang out, and no one will talk to you at all. Problem solved.
My worst experience was at a chain bar and grill during a St. Louis Cardinals game. The waiter was so engrossed in the game that he forgot about my family. He didn't give us our food, someone else did, and some one else came to make sure it was okay. Finally he realized he had forgotten us and came to ask if we'd like a soda refills–we said yes and he never came back!!! No one had drinks and finally after asking yet again a different server we got our check, left zero tip and then called the manager the moment we were out the door. The manager was apologetic but that was about it. About 3 months later we went back to the same restaurant and as we were waiting for someone to seat us, a manager was at the front apologizing to someone for the crappy service they received so we left asap! ARGH!
1. Customers that delight in the power dynamic of master and slave.
2. Maybe this should be number 1... You wouldn't know it if you're not in the industry so I don't blame you but:
Your hostess knows best, no need to point out the empty spaces, EMPTY TABLE DOES NOT MEAN AVAILABILITY!!!! It's a simply math equation of: do we have enough people on the floor and in the kitchen to provide decent service to the number of people in the restaurant? Just because we're not at fire code capacity does not mean we are able to serve you. You would have to wait an insane amount of time for sub-par service and then you'd complain. Maybe there's only one server on the floor and they just sat four simultaneous tables. Suck it up, its the host's job to regulate the flow of customers so that good service is ensured, not to seat you the second you walk in at the expense of everyone else who has already paid for their meals. It's the truth!
Butterflychica – I don't think so.
1st – it's "their" – not '.there"
2nd – we are all equal except your the server & I'm the customer. You knew what the job involved when you accepted the terms of employment.
3rd I've worked in the better resturants, cocktailed/bartended when civility & class ruled instead the current behavior by patrons and staff.
It's you're not your, and restaurant not resturant. If you are going to be the grammar police, at least check your own work!
"You want change?" is an ATR – Automatic Tip Reduction. So is "is everything tasty?". There's something gross about that question.
totally. I always want my change. So tacky!
So obviously wriiten by a woman(women) it is sickening!
Wow, these comments are an embarrassing window into society. "I HATE HATE HATE it when waiters don't crouch enough / crouch too much / say "you guys" / say "you folks" / don't come often enough / come too often / don't massage my scalp / ..."
Boy life is tough, huh guys? Oops, I mean folks. No, wait...
These are people trying to get through life, just like you. A little empathy goes a long way. Who knows, maybe you and the evil gremlin server could have even been *gasp* friends in another place, another time... :)
I wonder what they would think in the South, where so many of us say "y'all"??
Sounds like a lot of people here like lording over the people who bring you food. My biggest Pet Peeve are those who are rude to servers. I'm always friendly to servers and treat them with the same respect I would like to be treated with as a customer, and I never have problems.
Hey People...have you heard there's an environmental disaster in the Gulf of Mexico? War in the Middle East? Hunger in the world? Oh and Climate Change (not for the good) – But hey, let's get cranky about a server who sits with you for what, 3 minutes?
Get out of your own little world once in a while.
Wow. this was ridiculous? maybe people need to learn to be a little more lighthearted, let some of the small things go? servers do their best to try to keep their tables happy....a table will complain about me NOT doing the same things that you complain about me ACTUALLY doing!! so have a little more respect for these people who bust their butts daily getting you food and drink...its not a glamorous job in the slightest.
I usually don't have a problem when I go out...I live in a smaller city and servers are typically friendly and professional. That being said, there is ONE thing that bothers me: I'm a (female) national-level competitive bodybuilder & powerlifter, so I can put away the food. I tend to turn enough heads just by walking in the door, and it embarrasses me when people draw extra attention by blurting things out. It's not unusual for me to order a 16-oz steak with sides, a starter, a large beer and clean my plate. It bothers me when servers say "wow, you ate all that?" or "wow, that's a lot of food!"...or worse, they'll call me "sir" (somehow large biceps negate the makeup, jewelry, and a low-cut lavender shirt). I've had that happen on business dinners and dates...not cool.
Before anyone throws out the "well, stay home then, dummy" or "you're a bodybuilder, you should expect that" arguments, I'll address them. My job requires me to travel and meet with other representatives from my career field...usually at least one business dinner is involved. Yes, I'm a bodybuilder, but I'm also a human being and most of us don't like to be made fun of or embarrassed. I can wear long-sleeved shirts & baggy pants, but you can still tell when someone's a bodybuilder!
Don't try to be cute when you make a mistake and end up sticking 3 feet in your mouth. I was at a restaurant with my wife, who happens to be blonde (with assistance from Miss Clairol)), a few years ago. The female waitress, who happened to be a brunette, made a boo-boo that I can't remember and then said "Gee, I must have had a blonde moment." I froze and looked at my wife because I thought she was going to rip the waitress' head off. Instead she looked at me, smiled, and simply said "No, I think you must have had a brunette moment." You go girl! Score one for the blondes!
Thanks to your comment I will never walk again.
When the waiter bring the food to the table and has to ask who order the steak m with fries. When I waitress's many years ago, I would take the person to my left as number 1 and WRITE their order down even if they didn't order first. Then when serving the table their food was placed in front of them with the main entree facing them, so they do not have to turn a hot plate to cut their food. I miss waiting on tables can't do it any more because it is a depanding job at times.
Wow, such a sense of entitlement form so many of you! I served fgor a brief time. I was not good at it and know that i wasn't therefore, unless I am desperate for a job, I probably would never do it again. However, my experience has opened my eyes to what a tough profession serving is. I am also a little more understanding in MOST cases. Most of you seem to think a "server" equals slave. What happened to basic respect? Treat someone as if they are a humn being not sum subserviant piece of crap. At least they are working and contributing to society. I thank wait staff and your hard work. I personally do not like fine dining as I feel people there are too stuffy including the staff. Not my style, however if that is what you wnat, give me teh Outbacks of the world and the kneeling wait staff anyday.
AND if the guy in the picture above sat down next to me, I would be VERY happy!
I dont understand all this "your server shouldn't act like your friend" explain to me then why i have 10 couples every single weekend who come in, sit at the exact same table, where they know i will be serving, give me the old "hey Kel, how are you doign? whats going on at school? Any new boys in your life?" If you don't want to be my friend, then why the hell do you come in just to talk to the damn employees? n then they still get mad when I have to go take care of my other tables, and stop talking to them. Regardless of what the server does, customers will always complain. Its like being Obama
Wow! What a bunch of whiners! You people really need to get a life.
Maybe this debate is about how we view other human beings that we come into contact with every day. I see people who work in restaurants as servers, not servants. I do not need them to be subserviant nor do I view them as beneath me. I hope they will be helpful, friendly and cordial, as I am to them. As for sitting at my table or kneeling down to take my order, this is done I think, in the most casual of places, not in fine dining establishments. If you don't like it or find it to familiar, comment to the management, don't take it out on the server. I don't know, some of these commentors are so angry. Makes me feel bad for everyone they come in contact with.
The responses to this blog are just incredible....for every reasonable post about showing courtesy to receive courtesy, there are numerous posts from this one who likes/doesn't like the server sitting down to take their order, this one wants the plates removed immediately and that one doesn't, this one is mad because the server had the nerve to say "if you need anything, my name is.....", ad nauseum.
What really slays me are people who get annoyed by female servers using terms like 'hon' and 'sweetie'. This is a common greeting in restaurants here in Texas, and if a young lady is smiling when she says that to a middle-aged guy like me, who am I to complain? :)
If you're that fussy about your service and you've got a laundry list of nits to pick, STAY HOME and have some cheese with your whine.
Fred, I agree with you there. I was out with my former in-laws and we had a waitress who was waiting on us and she was exhausted because she was pulling an extra shift because her replacement called out at the last second, and she'd been there before they opened. She went to squat down next to our table, but we all insisted that she take the empty chair at our table. We didn't mind letting her rest a moment, and because we did so, she not only got our order 100% accurate, but she was very polite with us, and was all smiles for the rest of her shift. As for the sweetheart/hon thing, I don't mind. I'm from Baltimore, and our standard greeting includes the word "hon." We even have the "Hon-Fest" every summer in Baltimore. To us here, it's perfectly normal.
Do NOT tell me to stay home. If you have a problem with your job, get a new one. I could give a crap how much your boss pays you. You KNOW going into it that you would get paid 2 bucks an hour. Your fault not mine. Oh, and your job is to be courteous and to get my order right. Im sorry, was there some EXTRA work you were doing in there? Yeah, thats your job. Just like I have a job and do MY job right. I don't expect tips to do my frickin job. You are the reason people look at us as UGLY AMERICANS.
I absolutely positively hate when a server who's supposed to be waiting on you, notices you or your dining partner is out of your drink and does nothing to refill it. I went out once to a restaraunt and my soon-to-be-ex-husband had run out of soda before he was even halfway through his meal. We tried to flag down our waitress who just walked right past us as if we were lepers, and the other waiters treated us the same. Then I watched her go stand near the soda machine, lean against the counter and look right at us as he was trying to hail her to our table, and she started yakking with a co-worker. I wound up splitting my soda with him so that he could finish his meal and when we paid our bill, she got no tip. We also had it where she took our order but had one of the busboys bring it out to us, and one of the other waitresses brought us our check. It was like she wanted our money, but didn't want to serve us so she sent everyone else to wait on us. It was horrible, and I never went back to that establishment. I've also been to fast food joints where service was non existant. I went to a KFC in MD and a Wendy's in VA and neither one bothered to wait on customers. The KFC was open, and we went to the drive thru to order, and we waited for 15 minutes. Frustrated we drove up to the window and saw the employees standing inside just talking away, so we drove off even as they spotted us and tried to rush to the window to "help" us. When we were on vacation in VA, we hit a local Wendy's not far from where we were staying, and there was a huge line of cars (we were near an amusement park). The drivers in front of us took off after waiting too long, and we drove up to the window and banged on it. Wouldn't you know a trainee was sent to deal with us, and he informed us that they were "counting out" a lot of their registers and that they had the inside locked up and couldn't wait on anyone in the drive thru. We informed them that what they were doing was wrong, and that they're losing customers left and right because they decided to close up during company hours to "count out". With that, we took off and went to the fast food joint next door, got dinner and went back to our hotel room.
Serves you right, those are not places humans should eat, and the people inside should never be called servers.
I don't like it when servers think they know better than you do. My husband and I are vegetarian, so our daughter is also vegetarian. We had a server lecture us about how being a vegetarian was bad and that we shouldn't make our child eat the way we do. Another thing I hate about servers is when they stand over your shoulder and watch you write the tip.
Couldn't read these all have to get back to work. Anybody wonder how many buggers bustacap has enjoyed with his "serve me" point of view. I'm just saying it helps to be nice to the people that have your food behind closed doors!
semi-dried mucous from the nose is properly spelled: "bougar(s)", NOT buggers.... DUH!!!
...but I absolutely hate when a waiter clears one customers plate off the table, because they finished sooner, while the other customers are still eating. Clear them all at once. It's rude to the other customers who haven't finished yet.
Yep. It's been said.
It's amazing you can type without reading, because if you'd paid any attention to anyone else, you'd have seen where it was explained to others that said that, that in virtually all restaurants, pre-bussing is a requirement. Efficiency is involved, as it shortens cleaning time after, as well as it's more aesthetically pleasing to incoming customers, people walking past, etc.
Most of these comments are rediculous, we are all people as other comments have said. I don't put any thought into a waiter and what they are doing when they take my order, whether they are standing or squating or sitting next to me..now if its a hot waitress sitting down is preferred..but generally who cares you go out to eat your food why complain about anything unless the food or service is bad? You will learn that as life goes on people get more and more childish, I swear I work at a Brokerage and there is more drama and gossip here then there was in H.S. everyone is always going to be worried about what the next person is doing. People need to just life THEIR life and start worrying about themselves.
End,
HATE " you need or want change" when you pay your check. I always say yes and cut the tip in half. I have also been known to telll them that's really offensive when they ask that.
Oh the power! The Ultimate Power! Your crassness will not be tolerated and you will pay dearly for your wicked deed.
I can definitely agree with the anti-"Honey" movement. I am a northerner who is currently living in Charleston, SC for the summer. I understand the whole southern hospitality thing, but if one more waitress calls me "honey" my brain might explode. I realize that they are just trying to be kind, but it sounds condescending and rude. Whatever happened to an unobtrusive dining experience?
Might I suggest the 6:40 flight?
As someone who has lived in the south for his entire life, I can honestly say that when people come down here from up north they talk to us as if we're idiots, so I can kind of see the pot calling the kettle black here.
However, that's not the case at hand. Back on the subject.
If you live or visit the south, you're going to have to get over yourself and learn to accept the customs for what they are. Take on the "When in Rome," mentality. Hell, some of them even bother me, but I know there's nothing that can be done about it.
We see it as rude when you don't respect our traditions and I'm sure the feeling is mutual when some southern boy like me comes up there. The only difference between my situation and yours is that I adapt to the lifestyle. ;)
Most people understand that in certain parts of the U.S., the 'honey' and 'hon' thing is the norm, they're not condescending to anyone. You may not like it, but you're looking at it from the wrong perspective i.e. a 'Northern' perspective (or similar).
Good rule of thumb in life – when you're dealing with someone who is different from you, give them the benefit of the doubt where possible. Realize they may do some things differently but not at all maliciously.
Geez, can you imagine if these people traveled to another country? They'd be perpetually offended/disgusted/outraged. Sad, really.
They aren't trying to be anything. We say that to everybody.
That dog won't hunt, grew up in Memphis and Ark. Live in the North now Hon, Rome as Romans do!!
hey yankee. GET OUT OF THE GOOD PART OF THE NATION
I'm a vegetarian and I try to not be annoying about it. But, when I order Broccoli Soup and it comes loaded with BACON, then I get annoyed because something that important should probably have been mentioned in the description!
I understand your frustration, but there's a rule of thumb I use when I order anything new at a restaurant: I ALWAYS ask what is on/in it, because sometimes ingredients just don't get put on the menu. I agree with you, it's wrong. However, it still happens.
Always ask. If the server can't tell you, ask them to find someone who can.
You'd probably run into this less frequently if you would just ask your server whether the broccoli soup has any meat in it or simply ask what the vegetarian/vegan menu items are. They'll either know (they should, anyway), or they'll find out for you. Assuming a vegetable dish has no meat in it isn't reasonable.
Sounds like the author of this article and most of the people agreeing with him/her have entitlement issues. I actually like a server that can balance being friendly and servicing me at the same time. I don't like vultures, don't get me wrong, but if they're doing their job and want to have a nice chat while I'm eating, that's completely okay with me, so long as they're not interrupting a current conversation with those I'm eating with.
My biggest pet peeve with servers is when they let my drink go completely empty and I have to ask them for a refill. Other than that, I'm very easy going and easy to please. I know how hectic it is to be in their shoes, so I can't judge. Same goes for anyone, especially those who have not done the job.
People who complain about servers being too friendly aren't seeing the big issue here. A lot of times, if these servers don't sell the specials enough their job is put in jeopardy due to corporate execs breathing down their necks on a constant basis. Don't believe me? Ask the employee(s) yourself. The execs seem to believe you can force people to buy these things, when in reality, of course, you can't.
And before someone asks, no, I don't work in food service. I have in the past, but not currently.
Agree/disagree all you like, but this is just a commentary based on my observations as both a previous employee of the field and someone who does eat at a lot of restaurants even to this day.
Edit: replied to someone when this was meant to be a stand-alone post. :)
I am simply at a loss for words as to what some of the people here are saying. I waited tables for just under 10 years at an Outback, a local Vegas burger joint, and a high class Country Club. I have stories that those who never worked in the food service industry would not believe. The way myself and some of my coworkers have been treated by people who look down on servers is appalling. Don't get me wrong, there are terrible servers out there. I worked with some...hell, some were even good friends of mine. But even the great servers out there that do everything possible to please the guest deal with a ton of crap from miserable patrons sometimes. I wish just for a few days...those who never waited tables had to...just for a few day. I swear that after you see the other side to it, you would change your pompous attitude instantly. Im not even going to go into specific experiences or anything like that...I know that all the servers reading this understand what I am talking about. I have not waited in over 5 years now but I am always so respectful and courteous when I go out to eat because I was in their shoes and I know what they deal with on a daily basis..."You just can't please some people"...that is what I told myself when I had one of those nightmare nights...and from reading SOME of the stuck up, entitled, pompous, and just plain insane comments posted here...I now know I was 100% right.
Absolutely agree with you!
Who do these azzclowns thing they are? ROYALTY??? LMAO! Pompous oafs, GET OVER YOURSELVES!
As a former waiter, I'm generally pretty tolerant about performance type issues. Busy night, etc. I understand.
I have no tolerance for lack of knowledge of the menu. I start with the assumption the server is not mentally defective. If the server does not know the menu, have the ability to suggest a matched wine, etc, I consider that lazy. I trust and expect the server to be an expert on their restaurant's food and alcohol. That's really all I expect aside from general competance. I realize someone else may be running food, so there may not be an opportunity to check the order. Check up pretty quick, and notice yourself if theres something missing. Nearly everything else is a matter of opinion, so do your best to adapt to my preferences (automatically bring me beer refills) and pick up on cues, but everyone is different.
Oh, and more minor....try and avoid suggesting pork ribs to a Muslim or Jewish table. Sometimes you can't tell....but if there's a great big Star of David, suggest the steak. Really. Be aware of and respect other cultures/beliefs.
As far as customers go:
1. Do not expect the server to flirt with you. They are there to meet your culinary needs. Not to make some fat, disfigured person feel attractive.
2. This applies to homosexuals as well. There is no need to be loud and proud by telling your same gendered server what you would like to do with them later.
Unfortunately, while legally this behavior justifies kicking you out, their manager generally doesn't have the guts to back them up. You make the server feel like a hunk of meat.
3. Do not take issue with the server suggestiing appetizers/drinks/etc. They are not there just to follow orders, but are tasked with sales as well, and are measured on per-person average.
4. Teach your kids to eat real food. Key exchange from my Japanese restaurant days.
"Do you have a children's menu?"
"Not as such. We are more than happy to adjust portion sizes and prices to accomodate our younger diners"
"Well, where are the hot dogs and Mac and cheese?"
"Ma'am, we are a Japanese restaurant . We don't carry those items. Might I suggest Shrimp tempura? It's lightly fried shrimp, so is often appealing to our American children guests"
"Well, what do Japanese kids eat?"
"Japanese food, same as their parents"
5. Your server is not a trained monkey. Do not say "Tell me a joke that makes me laugh, or you're not getting a tip"
Every server I've known was too professional to cause a health risk by tampering with food. That's a line that should never be crossed. Ripping a really raunchy silent-but-deadly fart on one of these tables however...
6. Singles and church groups of 25 people or more with a combined check of 20 bucks in coffee and water, that then sit for three hours. Guess what? You're all still single because you're inconsiderate. And you look funny. Yes, you in the green shirt. Get rid of that booger too. It's gross. Oh, you say be nice if we want your business? Guess what...between power, paying the kitchen, and the 88 pots of coffee, and associated toilet flushings, you've cost us 300$. Please! Take your business elsewhere.
I used to be a people person, now it's a good thing I've got a knack for engineering. I worked for 6 years in the restaurant business, and 8 years after leaving, it still ignites a white hot rage overhearing how other tables treat my server half the time.
And I will loudly say something to embarrass you if you act like that next to my table.
To Matt/Waiter turned engineer: the semi-dried globule of mucous plucked from your nose is properly spelled "B-O-U-G-A-R" LOL engineers can't spell! hahah
Went to a very casual local roadhouse type restaurant . The servers wear made up humorous name tags and funny t-shirts so you expect a certain atmosphere. I was meeting 4 friends and we hadn't gotten together in awhile so we all had a lot to share. The waiter was trying to be witty and he was amusing at first but he kept coming back like every few minutes to make another joke or tease this one particular girl who he apparently liked. We would be in the middle of a conversation and he kept interrupting. He must have been ignoring his other customers with all the time he spent at our table! It's okay to be friendly but people come together to talk to each other, not someone they don't know!
My problem is that I have food allergies. I go to restaurants that have menus for me so I know exactly what to order. However, my order still comes worng. I'll start off with telling them I have allergies and then state the way my food needs to come. I'm very clear and it's usually repeated correctly. BUT when the food comes it's generally wrong. I think it's the cooks but the wait staff is not verifying that the order is correct. For instance, if I order NO BREAD and there is a big peice of bread on the plate – there's your clue that it's not done correctly. Also if there is bread on the plate then I'm not suppose to eat anything on the plate. I always worry that my plate is taken to the back, the bread removed, and a few minutes later the same food is brought back minus the bread instead of being recooked. It's really important when someone says FOOD ALLERGIES that the wait staff listen and alert the cooks.
I have sat here and read this article and all the responses and I have to say that I am in shock. I am in shock not because of what people like or dont like or what bothers them. My shock is that there are people here that would not tip a waiter or waitress. It does not matter the reason, there is no excuse for not tipping at the minimum 10% for bad service. I am not a waiter nor have I ever worked in the industry but I am a business man and I get paid for everything I do at my job and the job market in the US has a minimum wage of over $7.00. Knowing that waiters and waitresses get paid less than $4.00 because they are supposed to receive tips while they work should at least get you to pay a 10% tip. If the service was great than tip should be no less than 20% and if it was average then it should be 15% percent. It is as simple as that. Not everyone is fortunate enough to work at a job that pays well and some people enjoy being a waiter or waitress (i dont see why) but just because you are bothered by something doesn't mean you shouldn't be nice.
I am all for treat people how you would like to be treated and everything but unless you are planning on changing places with the waiter or waitress and wait on them then I suggest you be nice and give a tip. Not leaving a tip is totally disrespectful and that is my biggest peeve. The person did serve you and did get you what you asked for and did do all this stuff, why shouldn't you tip them? Ya they might have done a bad job but not everyone is perfect. Also, how much is a 10% tip anyway? will it break your bank? will you go broke over it? most likely if your eating out then the answers to these questions is no. A 10% tip on a $100.00 is only $10.00. Now you are telling me that after you spend $100.00 on food and drinks and the service was horrible that you cannot let go of $10.00?
Come on people, seriously.
agreed – I leave 20% as a general rule, 15% if I'm not satisfied but I tell them that and why
If I get crappy service, I do not feel obligated to leave a tip, I don't care what their pay is. Some friends and I left a $5.00 tip for a $70.00 bill yesterday and if it was up to me, he would not have got that much. There were 4 of us, we waited for about 40 mintues for our food (boneless wings and chili), got cold food so we sent it back, got the same food just heated up in the microwave, and to top this off, we were done eating our food before we even got the drinks we ordered (water nothing from the bar).
A tip should be left for good service, not to make up a person salary. A server's salary is between the server and the owner, not me. If they have a problem with the pay, maybe servers should come together and get restaurant owners to actually start paying them instead of relying on hard working people to make up their salary, cause for the couple that saves their money for months just to go out to dinner one night, $10.00 can be a lot.
if you're paying $100 for a meal and drinks, then the service had better be perfect. There's no excuse for a server to be rude/annoying/inconsiderate. So, if they want their tip they better work for it. Plain and simple. I know they have tough jobs, but its not that hard to "earn" at least a 15% tip. It doesn't take much.
Restaurant Pet Peeves (usually things dictated by management).
1. "Are you still working..."etc.
2. " You Guys..." I'm over 60 and this does happen at higher-end restaurants, too.
3.. "How's everything tasting?" This is my favorite. It's a tasteless question.
By the way, the cost of living has gone up for servers, too, in the last 20 years. Don't dare give them less than 18%!! In fact, unless they've served you poorly, they deserve every bit of 20%.
Here's a thought–go to a BUFFET.. then you can bring your own dang food to your table..
for the people who don't like when servers don't write down their order: as a server the only way to keep all your tables under control is to get into a rhythm and keep moving. Taking out an order pad and writing down an order that I can easily remember for the 10 seconds it takes me to walk to the computer screws with the flow. Usually when your food comes out wrong its the kitchen, not the server. And for those of you that come to restaurants and treat us like we're below you, you're probably getting bad service on purpose.
well then maybe you should check the order when it comes from the kitchen if you don't want your tipping customers to ASSUME it was you. Oh wait, you wouldn't still remember the order by then because you didn't write it down.
(And just FYI, I work at a regional chain restaurant...it's nothing fancy, but I'm darn good at my job and I know how customers should be treated)
I can't stand how self centered many customers are. I can't count the number of times we have a 45 minute wait and my customers are still telling me "uhg can you make this quick, we're trying to make a movie" if you wanted fast food you should've gone to the taco bell. On that same note, try to be aware that you are not the ONLY customers in the resteraunt. One friday, right in the middle of the rush where I have 8 tables, one of my customers grabbed the arm of a waitress rushing by and says "I dunno if my waitresses shift ended or what, but I need another beer". He apologized to me after his friends informed him of what a douche he was, but most of the time they dont! Then theres the people who think 2 bucks is standard tip no matter what, makes me wanna wear a name tag that says just below my name, $2.13/hour.
We had a server the other night who repeatedly addressed us as "friends." "So, friends, have we decided what we want for dinner?" "How is the meal, friends?" If we WERE his friends, I do hope that he would have called us by our names and not used the annoying "we." Further, if we had been his friends, he might not have served the entrees WHILE THE FIRST COURSE WAS STILL ON THE TABLE!!! This happened in a very well-known restaurant, where the tab for 4 came to over 400 dollars. Luckily for him, 18.5% service was included in the bill.
Here's a thought: people in the service industry need to stop warning and threatening about tainting a customer's food, because that gives a distinct impression that it happens a lot, and people like me (who tip 20-40%) are going to stop wanting to eat out. And people eating out need to stop being vengeful with tips. One behavior feeds the other (no pun intended), and the cycle continues. Be different! Be the one who stops the cycle! Be the waiter that never thinks about spitting into someone's food, and be the customer that leaves a reasonable tip if the wait staff did their job reasonably well.
I've worked in the "service industry" for years. I've noticed a lot of articles lately with this tone, bashing servers, waitresses or bartenders. While some of the criticism is justified, a lot of the sentiment speaks to the unfortunate reality that people are just too sensitive these days. It's disappointing, really, but I have the solution. People should have to obtain a license before they're allowed to dine out. How would one obtain said license? Work in a restaurant as a server for at least one week.
I'm betting that most of the people who contributed to this article or post negative comments have never had to do this type of job. Let me tell ya something: it ain't easy! The job itself can be tough enough. You have to move at light-speed to stay on top of what everyone wants while wearing a perma-smile. You're at the mercy of your customers, your kitchen staff, and the bar since you have no control over any of it. When something goes wrong through no fault of your own, you pay the price by receiving a lower tip.
The worst part of the job can be the customer. The 80/20 rule applies to this industry because most people are reasonable and courteous. The minority can be nasty and rude and should really stay home. These people think that for the lousy 10% they leave you, you should be at their beck-and-call. They don't care that other customers may need your attention, too. If you make even minor error they act like the world will end because of it. While these people are the minority everyone can occasionally fall into this trap because of a bad day. Regardless, your server has to deal with the good & the bad.
I think people need a wake-up call to realize that these people are some of the most hard-working individuals in the entire workforce. The people who do this to make a living often don't have a retirement plan, profit sharing or even health benefits. There are clowns that give the rest of these people a bad name, but they don't last. If you dine out, do so with class and dignity. Treat your servers with some respect instead of acting like they're second-class citizens that you're "doing a favor".
This thread shows a vicious cycle in our restaurant community. Waitstaff who feel that they are underappreciated, abused, taken advantage of. Restaurant goers who feel that they are underappreciated, abused, taken advantage of. These things feed off of each other and multiply until too many people are just unhappy or angry far before they ever even enter the door of the restaurant. Waitstaff can at times feel they need to combat this with focusing on their own vision of their superiority to the restaurant goer. The restaurant goer at times will do the same thing. This is a way to defend against the above noted abuses, advantages, etc. It must be tough to constantly have this guard up when all a server wants is to go to work and enjoy what they do and make a little money. A restaurant goer wants to go to a restaurant and enjoy themselves and have a decent experience. A thought to all before entering the doors of a restaurant (and yes I realize, 'easier said than done' but just humor me and try it!).... enter the building with the thought that you accept that not everything will be perfect, you are not the only one with needs and expectations, and everyone involved has those same goals of enjoyment. Do your best to have a positive outlook, be considerate of others, relax, make the best of whatever comes your way. If you have a bad attitude going in, you'll never have anyone around you in a good mood. If you go in knowing that you can make this experience a good one for waitstaff, customers, friends, coworkers, that will only help you get to the same place. The meal, the job, the experience, the atmosphere can all be good if you want them to be. Oh and wash your hands, everybody!!!
Such angry people. Jeez.
Here is a question to the servers rather than a comment:
Sometimes I have change and rather than give you a $20 and ask for say 8 back I will put down my $10 bill with change (no pennies – but im Canadian so we have coins for every denomination up to $2). Is that considered "insulting" to say have a few dimes and a couple of nickles in the tip to make the $12 tip?
Change is not insulting unless it weighs up to a pound. In fact, as long as the cash tip is acceptable (18 to 22%), I dont mind change because I'll probably have to give it back to another guest later in the night.
yeah change is cool man. whenever i get change even if it is a pound im happy. i always end up needing to give it to another table so you're saving me time thank you
The way I see it, the server is my servant. The servant isn't good enough to sit with me. The servant isn't good enough to be my friend. The servant is there to serve me and leave me alone so that I can have a conversation with the person I am eating with. I also hate when they say "I will be taking care of you tonight." No, no, I don't think so. You will be serving me tonight. Get it straight.
I LOVE this response! Absolutely golden! Mean as heck but funny!
Well CK, I hope you enjoyed the sweat from your servers back dripped into your food. Your arrogance pretty much served you up that...
Please, I beg of you all. Put your anger, your time, your disgust, your opinions into something more productive.
You don't even know how many pubic hairs you've eaten. It's hilarious.
Here's a customer (who has also waited tables)-to-customer one: If you bring your children to the restaurant, please do not allow them to run around unsupervised (and this includes "family" restaurants, not just "fine dining"). Aside from being annoying to both other customers and to the staff, it's a serious safety hazard. People are walking around carrying trays of hot food, pots of hot coffee, etc. If your unattended toddler trips a waiter and is scalded by hot soup or coffee (or causes someone else to be scalded), you've only yourself to blame...not the poor waiter who couldn't dodge an out-of-control child while trying to weave around tables 30 + pounds of hot food!
I love children, but all children need limits. It's not that hard to insist that your little ones stay seated at the table while dining out. If they have to go to the bathroom, YOU TAKE THEM...or if they're old enough to go by themselves, remind them to walk. If they're done eating, give them something to do other than run around the restaurant tripping up the waiters or annoying other diners. Realize that dining with small children may mean that you have to leave early, or spend time outside with a child who's gotten fussy or out of control.
Another customer-customer peeve...please, hang up your cell phone! I have one too, and I understand you may have to take an emergency call...that's not the problem. But chatting away on your phone while you're ordering or otherwise talking to the waiter is just plain rude. Surely you can at least say "excuse me" to the person on the other line, set the phone down, and meet your waiter's eyes while speaking to him/her! I've witnessed this kind of thing in restaurants time and time again and, even though I haven't worked in a restaurant in more than 30 years, it still makes my blood boil on behalf of the servers.
Many of these pet pieves are not universal. What one person dislikes is what another may expect. The simple fact that waitstaff are expected to be conscious of all this, as well as courteous and well timed, and politically correct etc is why that tip is so necessary. It's easy to expect perfect service, but extremely difficult to actually deliver it.
Remember to tip you waiter, it isn't a long held custom because it's optional :)
I hate it when servers ask, "how is everything tasting?." It drives me crazy, everything may taste fine, but maybe I need a refill or napkins or want to ask a question. It's like they are limiting what they want to hear from the diner.
The original poster here started out this rant with something I'm really getting tired of: the word "GUYS" - specifically when used by a waiter addressing his table's occupants.
I am a woman and my husband is a man. We are not "GUYS." We had one waiter recently who said it 8 times over the course of the meal - and it was only breakfast so we were out of there pretty quickly. If you're waiting on two young men in their 20s, "HI GUYS" is fine. For my husband and me, how about just "Hi, how are you today?" Or even "Hi, folks." Is that so difficult? .
That's no good. I hate being called "folks". I will only respond if the server calls me "SugarPie".
"Guys" is a universally accepted term for more than one person. You hear it in every country in the world. I think it's a bit oversensitive to be upset about that.
One of the biggest complaints I hear from servers is the inability for the guests to do proper math. I will split your checks for you no problem, but if you insist on combining payments PLEASE indicate if their is a tip in the cash portion of the payment. People give part cash, part card payments and then tip only on the card. I will not ask you as it is rude, but when there is $100 check and you give me *$80 in cash and $20 on the card then tip only on the twenty it actually costs me money to wait on your table. I get taxed on all credit card transactions and have to tip out my fellow staff. If you have difficulty figuring the bill with several people let the server help you.
Servers please stop using the word "Enjoy", it is disengenuos.
I promise I'll use my hard earned tips to go to school to learn how to correctly use their and there in a sentence. Ps we all need to lighten up, oil is killing our gulf coast.
Hey CNN, next time, let's turn the tables (sorry, no pun intended) and have an article about what servers HATE about customers. I was a server for 8 years ( everyone should be , IMO , at least once) and learned how NOT to be as a customer. There are great customers and annoying customers , just as there are great servers and annoying servers.
Every high school/college kid should be required to work at least 2 months at a restaurant so that they can learn a) it's not easy to wait tables, and b) how to leave a decent tip for a hard working server. My husband and I both waited tables in college, and once you've been there, you develop a lot of respect for the servers who make a great effort, especially when something out of their control goes wrong.
Ever notice how wait staff ALWAYS handles your drinks by the top of the glass – where you put your mouth?! It's a horrible health issue. Wy can't they be trained to hold the glass at the bottom?
Wow! Just wow! Some of the server comments on here disgust me and I've been serving for over 10 years! The "threats" of spitting in someones food or such is just wrong! If ANYONE even mentioned doing that at my place of employment we would be let go. We all have the desire at times yes,but would never act on it! There are rude servers and they give everyone a bad name. But on the flip side most people have NO idea of what we go through on a daily basis! First off, telling you our name..that is expected and encouraged. Some places require it! Bending or squating down at a table, usually we do that so we can hear you. If it's a busy night and somewhat loud we would perfer not to make you repeat your order multiple times. If your food is wrong 9 times out of 10 it is not something the server did. IF I screwed up I will admit it and apologize and get it corrected right away. Same thing if the kitchen screws up your order. Most of the time we catch it before it leaves the kitchen area, but if it's something that isn't visible then we will miss it. Snapping, waving, whistling...all of those are behaviors that will annoy ANY server. All you have to do is catch my eye and I will be there as quickly as I can! Also if it's busy we are moving as quickly as possible! Keep this in mind when it takes a bit longer to get something. IF you order a beer or mixed drinks we can only bring things out as quickly as the bartender gets them for us. IF there is going to be a bit of a wait for your food we will tell you, we don't like making you wait anymore than you like waiting. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE control your children. Do NOT let them run around in a busy place. Servers are going in and out of the kitchen with hot dishes. The last thing we want is to have a kid run in front of us and have the chance of spilling on them! Please remember that if we give you good service saying "you did an amazing job" is not a tip! We appreciate the compliment, but show that we gave you great service. I know when I have an off night and don't expect to make my normal tips when that happens. We all have a bad day once in awhile. We try not to let it affect our job, but sometimes you are not on top of your game. But when I run like crazy for you please appreciate the fact. And we do remember people who tip badly. The first time we will give you the benefit of the doubt. There is one table that comes into my place all the time. They tip $3 no matter what their tab is. IF it's under $20 that's one thing, but on a $40 tab that is terrible. Most of us are happy to be serving or we wouldn't do it. I LOVE my job, but there are some people that make me question society! Manners and respect go both ways. We treat you nicely please respect that we are people too.
Don't ever ever mention tipping to a server. I worked in the business for 20 years and in that time virtually every person who mentioned the tip in any way either didn't bother or woefully under-tipped. When it comes to tipping, I understand it is a voluntary thing and I respect that. I earned a wage as a server or bartender. But lets bear in mind that a number of states, Florida and Wisconsin are two I have direct experience in, assume most diners will tip. Accordingly my wage was adjusted with that assumption in mind. In Florida my hourly wage was less than 3 dollars hourly. In Wisconsin it was roughly the same. Servers and bartenders work very hard to keep our guests happy and I am a rare individual that thanks every one for their penny, nickle, dollar or one thousand dollar tip (FYI I did earn one in my career). But as a diner you must look at the other side of the same coin. If you earn a reputation as a bad or unfair tipper, fair being at least 18 percent of the check total plus any discounts, then you may as well expect your experience to be less than a diner who has a reputation or the look of someone who will tip generously. We go to where the money is, just like anyone else. One last little bit on my rant. . There is a subtle but extremely important difference between, "server," and "servant." Treat us like servants and beware, Anthony Bourdain only touched the tip of the iceberg in "Kitchen Confidential." I suggest a viewing of the movie "Waiting," as a tutorial to start anyway.
That's true in Georgia too- when I was serving tables, it was barely over $2 an hour, and they expected tips to make up for it. I worked for well below minimum wage every slow lunch hour because I didn't have enough tables to make up the difference. Even some evenings were that way.
but in some states, if tips don't come out to min. wage, the restaurant is supposed to supplement up to minimum wage. Granted that probably still wont cover all the costs. I wish tipping wasn't a custom. you paid your bill, the server got paid a FAIR price and that was that. I just don't see the point in paying an arbitrary amount of money based upon the total of another item you purchased. My mechanic doesn't ask for tips, i just get a cost of the service i pay and i go. can't i get the same at a restaurant? ohwell once can only hope
I do NOT agree with the food tampering though- there is NOTHING that would justify that, no matter how bad the customer's behavior.
@tiphater What's the name of your mechanic? Because I've never found one that doesn't charge for parts and LABOR. See in a restaurant food would be the parts and the tip would be for the labor. Believe me I would love to work for a restaurant that paid a good wage where tips were out of the equation, but in all my travels I have never heard of this.
T.I.P. To Insure Prompt Service. No but really I worked in a restraunt for 12 years in the Atlanta area
I've seen good servers and bad servers, But what always gets me is when I watch a server bust there back for a table, on slow days or busy days and constantly the people at the table will leave nothing for very little for a tip. Good example one night was a man and women. clearly on a date, it was very cute. But they both ordered full meals, drinks, (mixed drinks not soda's they where well over 21) and deserts. I watched as their server worked her butt off and they left less then a dollar for a tip.
Wouldn't be so bad but I watched this type of behavor time and time again, Now with bad servce I compleatly understand. the server has a job to do they have to do it and if they don't well why reward them. But if your server is good or even just fine, That tip makes the major part of there income. oh and don't forget tips are taxed too.
I have been a waitress for a few years and here are our pet peeves:
People with kids who think permissive parenting is the way to go – good Lord, if you can't keep a rein on your children and don't particularly want to, stay out of any place that is more than $7 per person. The restaurant is not your kid's playground and I am definitely not your babysitter.
Groups of 10+ that ALL order water, want it with differing levels of ice/lemons/limes, and then share ONE cheap item – then you GUYS (get over yourselves, this is how we talk now) expect me to check on you every 30 seconds to make sure your WATER is filled to the brim.
People that don't tip at all or tip 10-15% after stellar service – if you are going to be that cheap, just leave and never come back.
I am sure there are a lot more, but right now I want to punch all the entitled idiots in the mouth.
Here's a simple and easy solution. IF you don't like how servers treat you, DON'T GO OUT. Make your own damn dinner or quit your whining! Whew! Wow that was a really difficult conclusion to come up with...
the problem is that when i go out, i have a set expectation. if i knew the service would stink, i wouldn't go...
Good grief, are you serious? So you are standing up for those who are bad at their job? Your premise assumes that when we go out to dinner we expect bad service (thats why you say to stay home and cook yourself). If we KNEW we would get bad service we WOULDNT go out, but as a paying customer we expect good service.
Other than really nice restaurants here in the states, I have never been treated as well as I have been in Austria and Germany, and these people dont expect a penny for a tip and are a bit uncomfortable when you try to tip them. These are people who take their jobs seriously and do a great job at never being in the way, always having just what you need, when you need it and they DO NOT push customers out the door by setting the check on your table; you have to ask for it. That's the way it should be, period.
I've never waited tables or been a barista, but I've observed customer behavior and I've seen more rude customers than I have wait staff. I have heard lots of stories from baristas about rude and egotistical behavior though. I can only think of one time that a waiter was over the top (at an Outback), otherwise I've seen and had great service for the most part.
Obviously spelling and grammar aren't required for employment with CCF.
Really people? Do you have nothing better to do than complain? The pressure and stress people that work at restaurants face . . . . and for how little they are paid. Walk a mile in their shoes and tone down the self righteous indignation. If you're all so annoyed by the poor service you receive, just cook for yourself.
Beautifully said Jack...
The subject of the article was pet peeves at restaurants and invited comments restaurant customer remarks accordingly. The spirit of the remarks is not to pity the restaurant workers or laud the customers, but to communicate pet peeves by customers, perhaps in an effort to improve their experience and thereby keep restaurant workers employed. The restuarant workers choose their jobs and, presumably while employed, believe the pay compensates for the work - including undesirable customer interactions. The customers choose to eat at the restaurants and presumably will go elsewhere if the price is too high relative to their dining experience. I can give constructive criticism and make suggestions to improve my experience, or I can say nothing and vote with my wallet to go elsewhere. I think it is more compassionate to make constructive criticism and suggestions and give a second chance than to say nothing and go elsewhere.
I'm seeing a lot of comments mentioning servers taking out their frustrations on a customer's food, and people complaining about wait staff attitudes or mannerisms. I've never waited tables as a job (I have been a hostess for a 24/7 restaurant and also worked in retail for over a decade, which I mention to show I definitely have experience working with the public). However, I have always been generous with tips – minimum 20% tip always, usually more like 30-40%, because I know what working with the public is like, and I'm always polite to the wait staff.
It's because I have worked with the public that I feel it's appropriate to ask why any server, regardless of how unpleasant a customer is, would find it acceptable to taint that customer's food. That is just showing a complete lack of integrity by the server and is uncalled for regardless of the situation. I would suggest to people in the service industry that feel compelled to taint someone's food that you should try to find a different job, or take up a hobby (boxing, running, weight lifting, cross-stitching, whatever) where you can channel your aggression and stress. I would also like to say that if you are in such a bad mood that you can't even be polite to the person taking your order at a restaurant, you should think about staying home, because when you are in a bad mood, it's inevitable to try finding fault with everything and everyone. While I will not defend a customer who behaves rudely "just because," or is condescending to wait staff, I would like to remind people that every person has a story. The customer doesn't know what is going on in a waiter's life, just as the waiter doesn't know what a customer may be dealing with that led to the customer being abrupt, snappish or unfriendly. Perhaps that person just found out their spouse was cheating on them, perhaps they just lost a family member, perhaps they just buried a pet that was in their lives for a decade. Perhaps they just had their car door dinged, perhaps their boss just yelled at them or they just lost their favorite ring or pair of earrings. Maybe they are just having PMS and are hormonal. The point is, not everyone is rude 24/7, and sometimes people's paths cross at bad times. Instead of always assuming someone is just rude all the time and deserves spit in their food or a 1% tip, how about we all try to give each other the benefit of the doubt next time we're waiting tables or ordering our food? This sense of entitlement so many people seem to have (on both sides of the story) just blows my mind!
I think everyone just needs to get over it, I work in a customer service position as well (although not in food) and I understand how hard it is to deal with the general public. If everyone was just a little nicer to everyone else, there would be no need for this argument! Sure there are annoying servers, there are wonderful servers and there are average servers, but each and every one of them deserves at least a little bit of a tip. My boyfriend used to work as a pizza delivery boy and let me tell you, it's really uncool when people don't tip or just leave the change. They only make a couple bucks an hour and depend on the tips to live, and 9 times out of 10 it's someone else's fault that your order was wrong or took too long or came out cold or something like that. Anyway, the fact that servers make less money help keep costs down for the restaurant, which in turn keeps prices on products reasonable, so why complain about leaving a few extra bucks for the server?
And, in my humble opinion, the best kind of server is the kind of server that you don't even really notice. You know the type, they refill your drinks without having to be asked, they bring ketchup to the table without having to be asked, etc. They stop by to make sure everything's good, then keep an eye on you from a distance to make sure your dinner is going smoothly. A little friendliness and thoughfulness really go a long way to make a pleasant meal!
Whole lotta whinning going on here!
Two things annoy me most: 1) The question, "How is everything 'tasting'?" and 2) using the term "you guys" as in "How are you guys doing tonight?" "How is everything tasting" is a deliberate way to limit my response to how the meal is proceeding, and "you guys" is just too casual a way to be addressed by a stranger (as well, my wife isn't a "guy.") It would be much more polite and effective to ask instead: 1) "Can I get anything for you?" and 2) "How are you this evening?"
As a customer (and ex-waitress) – here's my biggest pet peeve.... "Do you need change tonight?" Simple answer here: If there is more money on the table than what the bill was for – bring the change. Do not assume that it is for your tip – more often than not it is, but don't assume. Moreover... with me there's a good chance that I have money to add to that "extra" for a tip and if you ask me if I need change.... you're not getting it!
I have found most people who complain have never worked in the food industry. If you have not then you are clueless as to what it is really like. Otherwise you would be kinder to your server.
Good point, Mike. I've always said that working as a server in a restaurant or clerk at the grocery store should be a prerequisite for life. Maybe folks would be willing to treat each other better.
I *never* but a bougar in a customer's food!!! pheww! yuck! Do food servers *spit* in people's food?!? wow! gross! how about pee-pee??? yikes!! i'm NOT hungry now!! ;-)
We were once "chased down" by our waiter because we only left him a 15% tip and there were six or seven of us. The group was waiting for the cab to arrive and he came outside and asked if he was a bad waiter because his tip was so small.
To be fair, I'd taken the check, went up and paid... leaving the people at the table tossing down money for the tip but he then hustled us out of the place when I was heading back to tell the group what 20% was.
As a whole, we always tip well. I'm not certain where getting more than 15% at a median priced family restaurant for breakfast became a horrific thing.
People also need to consider that there are a lot of things working behind the scenes that they never see. Your server is the middleman in your dining experience. The restaurant rarely pays these people themselves and thus have implemented what is know as a "tip share". In other words, these people are here to help out the server and the server will tip them out for their work. Typically these people include, but are not limited to, bussers, bartenders and food runners. The amount you tip them is generally based on your overall sales for the shift. So when a table doesn't tip them, not only are they not making any money, but they are actually losing money. They don't have the option of looking their co-worker in the eyes and saying, "Well, here is half of what I am supposed to give you because I got stiffed a couple times today. Sorry!" Is it fair to make someone pay to serve you? Even if the service isn't very good? If your service was so horrible that you are inclined not to leave a tip, at least give the 4-5% that they are spending in order to pay the other people that are making your meal possible.
I have to add my two cents in this discussion. Serving tables is a great way to make quick cash with very little difficulty (if you can withstand being on your feet for 4 to 5 hours), but it is no dream job of any sort. I only do it for the reason mentioned above to compliment my earnings in the day. It is absolute agony to deal with certain clientelle and believe me when i say this, there are some pretty outrageous characters exposed when you have to serve them thier dinners. I don't think anyone has any right making comments on this string if they have not experienced serving as a job because it is a completely world when your in the kitchen as opposed to sitting at the table. There are reasons behind our madness and I understand certain servers just suck at what they do, but for the most part, the complaints that are recieved from guests are justifiable. Most guests just love to complain and find thrill in seeking misery for others. As a server for almost six years, there is an abundance of people out there who are already predisposed to complaining about thier evenings experience.
I've been hosting at a prominent Chicago restaurant for about 2 years (1 year as Head Host). There are some behaviors that simply boggle my mind when people come out to eat.
1. "What do you mean there's a wait?" – I mean, all of my tables are currently full, or are reserved by someone who called in advance to make plans. Therefore you must wait until I have an open table for you to sit at. Yes restaurants do tend to be busy on Friday/Saturday nights & Sunday Brunches.
2. The phrase "Someplace Warm". I understand that you just walked in from the -30 degree blizzard that occurs in Chicago for 2 months straight. I know you want someplace warm, that is why I will seat you inside. (Our restaurant has no tables near doors where the cold will affect you)
3. A table asking to be outside, then coming back in 15 minutes later and deciding it's "Too hot, too cold, too sunny, too cloudy, too outside-y "(Yes that was a real phrase used) etc. You had to walk in from outside, did you not realize the current weather status, at least walking from where you parked your car?
4. A small party (2-4 people) asking to sit at a table built for a large party (8-10 or more) With a clear reservation sign on it. No you cannot. This table A) is reserved B) has way more space than you'll need and C) if i allow you to sit at this large table, you will be taking up a servers entire section for the next 2 hours minimum, lets hope you can leave a 40-60% tip to make up for the other tables the server could have had that night.
5. Asking to sit at a reserved table (With a reservation sign on it). I'm sorry somebody thought ahead and took "Your table". It is reserved for a reason, if I had the time to seat you and find another table for the reservation, there would not be a reserved sign on the table. If a table is reserved but i have not placed the sign, yes you can sit there, that is my fault for not being on the ball, and I will accept the wrath of the reservation party if I can't find a table in time for them.
6. Double wide strollers. I'm glad you like to take your baby off roading in your giant stroller, but i'm sorry it literally will not fit between my tables and my bar. You're more than welcome to take the carrier (Which is built into the stroller of course) out, leave the stroller up front and I will put you at one of my numerous tables that will accommodate at least 2 carriers if not more.
7. Waving, Snapping, "Hey You"-ing. Both from a Host and Server perspective, that is the best way to get yourself ignored. Just a word to the wise. It's rude and insulting. Come up and talk to us if you have a question, we're not lepers, or your server will be there in a minute to check up on you anyways.
8. Showing up late to your reservation. Now i'm not talking 10-15 minutes late. That's fine, no big deal. I'm talking 1-2 hours late. And getting upset that I have given up your table, after calling you at the 30 minute late mark, and 1 hour late mark. If you're going to be late, just give the restaurant a call. It is not a problem ever, and if in the off chance it could become a problem, you've given them a heads up to correct any problems, and will make your dining experience that much better when you do get there.
9. Just being ignored as a host. I'm here for a reason, to greet and seat you. Don't walk past me after I say hello, and ignore me. At least acknowledge my presence and meet your friend.
10. Not knowing party size. "Hi we're going to be between 3 and 12 and 2 of us are here now. Can we be seated?" I don't know are you 3 or 12? Confirm your party size before getting to the restaurant. This way we can seat you in the most comfortable location for your party size. And yes I know there's always the possibility of the joiner, and that's fine, but moving from 3 to 4 is not a problem, from 3 to 12 is.
11. "It's so slow in here, why is the service taking forever?" Most likely you're here during off hours, When there's only 1-2 servers on and 1-2 people in the kitchen. This means more people per server, and more work per each kitchen staff member. More often than not you'll get better/quicker service during a busy time than a slow time.
If guests had a little more understanding of what servers and hosts go though on a regular basis during busy nights, perhaps they'd be a little more understanding. I know you're there to "be served" but it should also be within reason, working together with the staff will always yield better results than fighting with them.
RIGHT ON!!!!
LOL @ 'outsidey'
That is awesome! People every where should read this!
amen!
As a server, it absolutely makes me CRAZY when:
1. I ask for a drink order and nobody acknowledges that I'm even standing there let alone says a word! Like HELLO I'm right here, if you don't want a drink that's fine with me but at least acknowledge that I'm trying to get you something.
2. Makes me go back and forth 5 times because they've never eaten before and don't know they like ketchup, and ranch, and more soda, and tobasco, and more bread and on and on and on... you are NOT my only table and I do have other guests waiting for food that now I'm behind on because I'm running back and forth just for you!
3. Ask for refills when the glass is 3/4 full and then never touch it.
4. Tell me everything is fine with their food, then when it comes to paying time, o all their sudden their potato was cold, or their steak was tough- I was just there and everything was fine so how did 5 mins change the quality of your food??
5. The verbal tip- "O thank you, everything was great, you were wonderful".. here's $3 go buy urself something nice... Wether or not we get the tips, we do still get taxed on what the government thinks we're getting in tips... remember we're not serving because it's what we've all aspired to do since we graduated kindergarten. Most of us are working for a higher purpose than just to serve you food, so we appreciate adequate compensation just like you pay for you food.
6. Don't ask your 5 year old what they want because they don't know and making me stand there for 15 mins while they ignore and color their worksheet is difficult to explain to the other customers that are also waiting for me for 15 minutes.
7. READ THE MENU! The menu isn't there for decoration... people expect you to explain everything on it and ask what they would like... I don't know what you like, I'm not a psychic so read the menu and tell me what you like!
I've been a server for a few years and coming from someone who does have higher aspirations and goals for my life, waiting on inconsiderate people does motivate me to continue striving for a higher purpose, but just in case anyone cares to make their dining experience a little nicer on servers, we always appreciate someone who cares about our future and leaves a good tip!
Re: the 5 year old ordering: I find that painful as well, as a diner though. I find it embarrassing/nauseating to dine with someone who does the 'what do you want, sweetie? tell the waitress' routine, then patiently caters to the ensuing whiny/unrelated/spoiled bratty b.s. of asking for stuff that isn't on the menu or that the kid isnt allowed to eat anyway. If you think it's important to share the food decision with your toddler, do it before the waitress gets there and then order the god damn fish sticks. NO ONE ELSE is fascinated by your child, so SPARE us, please, let us get on with the meal and let the waiter/waitress get on with their job. Ugh.
Pee-Pee on the 5 y.o.!!! the little brat should be served pee-pee with a lemon slice! LOL
I hate serving a table where the customers dont answer your questions. If I ask you if you need any extra sides it isnt because i can read your mind. I am actually waiting for an answer. And just because i am a server does not make you better than me.
Yeah, I find that really rude. I feel embarrassed when I'm dining with people who treat the server as if he/she is invisible. They don't acknowledge a question or say 'please', 'thank you', etc. when the person is just trying to take our order and be on their way. Tacky!
You forgot my personal pet peeve. "Do you want change?" I HATE that. I always discount the tip.
chill, dude.
I could care less if you crouch, sit, or stand on your head. I smile at you, you smile at me. Offer suggestions (or whatever it is you are required to say when approaching a customer). Present my food in a decent amount of time – if not, apologize for the wait or offer an explanation; yes, made up is fine . Ask about water refills periodically (or see my glass empty by the edge of the table). Ask me once how my meal is and/or if I have everything I need – twice if you forget and just want to get it in; it happens. Offer desert in/to go. Bring me my bill in a decent amount of time. Thank me for coming – smile. After all that is said and done, I leave 20% + tip and everyone is happy!
People need to stop analyzing everything! Who cares if the server crouches or asks you twice how your meal was. If the server was friendly and the food was good, that is what matters!
This is too funny. If a hot young male server sits down at MY table, he's getting my hand on his knee - and I'm a woman in my fifties! You'd better maintain that little bit of respectful, professional distance or prepare to get the knee hug.
Fair and hilarious.
I can't stand when I order a bottle of wine and the waiter brings it to the man of the table to try. If I ordered it I should be the one who decides if its satisfactory.
“'Are you still working on that?' Um … is there food left? Have I pushed it away or asked for a box?"
This one is so stupid. Sometimes, some lady will have one piece of lettuce left on her plate, I will take it away without interrupting her conversation, and she will FREAK out because she's "still working on it." And some customers don't push it away or ask for a box. STUPID.
How about restaurant guests who rave how good their service is, and refuse to tip appropriately!!! People! It's no longer the 70's! Standard tip is 20% of the total!!!
Need help??....just ask your server!
They don't get paid minimum wage! It's less! And your tip makes up the difference! Plus! They tip out bartenders...hosts, and bussers!
a 20% tip is earned. it is not a given simply because you waited on me. most servers absolutely suck at their job. this is most prevalent in any chain restaurant or hotel restaurant. it is very obvious do not take their job seriously if they work at an Outback, Olive Garden or Marriott, etc. killer service always excels in places where the owner is within eyeshot of the customer and every little task performed in the place matters greatly to its survival.
I agree 100% with the servers who do not write down orders. They either get the order wrong or have to come back to ask again what I ordered, how I wanted my steak cooked, what side I wanted, etc.
My other peeve that I didn't see mentioned before is after the server brings the check and I put cash out for the bill, they always ask me if I need change. It doesn't matter if I have a $100 bill in there on a $30 check – they still ask! How about you just bring the change and I will leave the tip for you. Maybe they "guilt" enough people into giving larger tips that way. (I would like to mention that, unless the service was so outrageously bad, I never leave less than 20% and usually it's closer to 25%, so this isn't me just being cheap!)
Seriously, Jenny...I'm not RAINMAN. I can't simply look at the money on the table and automatically know that there is $30 in there. Half the time, I don't even open the check because its improper to count money in front of the customers. Get over yourself. Its a reasonable question.
This is the most pointless article of all time. Holy crap, the server did something you didn't like! Time to cry about it on the internet. Grow up and stop wasting web space with this garbage.
Yeah, what DERP said....
My biggest pet peeve is "guys" Even if it's four women, the waiter says "how are you guys" you guys ready to order
UGH.
Barbara, I'm sure your a grumpy c*nt.
ha!
see the exact opposite is true for me. When I go out with girlfriends and a male waiter says "how are you ladies doing tonight" congratulations, you realized we're all women.
I want to know why exactly is this such a big deal... Who cares? Are males servers taking your femininity away from you. I don't want to judge you or anything, but I'm getting the feeling you are probably fitting the profile of one of those guests who complain about EVERYTHING... That crowd that finds it inappropriate to use the term "guys" is the same crowd that most servers despise and can easily forecast whats coming for them...
I don't understand it either, Jim. 'Guys', 'Ladies' I really don't care, I'm not that invested in it. I won't be offended either way, why would I? Comments have been made about how correct it is to address a women/women as 'ladies' while others revile it, for various reasons. Lighten up, geez!
No one said it was "a big deal." The topic is "pet peeves" and using the term "you guys" is one of them. It is inappropriate and impolite in a customer-facing, service-oriented business to address the customer(s) as "you guys" no matter the gender.
I so enjoy eating alone every once in a while, especially when I have a new book, take my order, keep my coffee cup full and leave me alone.
Just don't spit in my food, and we'll be friends.
One thing that dives me crazy is when my husband and I get asked if we want separate checks. I am white and he is Puerto Rican, so we think this is the reason. I never had this problem with white boyfriends, so that's all we can figure. We have been married for 8 years and it happens WEEKLY! I understand that some servers ask everyone, but not all do!
Funny story: One time we went out with my best friend (also Puerto Rican) and her boyfriend. We were sitting at a square table (all on different sides) and the waiter came up and imlied that the 2 whites were together and the 2 PRs were together. I understand how you could think that, but it's just rude to ask if you don't know for sure (in my opinion!)
I try to phrase my question about splitting checks. "Is this all on one check this evening?" – That gives my customers the opportunity to tell me how I should split them and I don't have to make assumptions as to who is with whom.
I like how you phrase it. It is polite and would not bother me at all. I guess being a server for 16 years, you gained a lot of wisdom :)
I totally understand why servers ask though. We just laugh about it now (because it happens so much.)
I'm not going to kneel at your table, call you 'hon', ask if you're still 'workin on that', make a joke when you clean your plate, nor am I going to blame others when an order isn't right. I WILL ask you how you are doing today, tell you my name, and take your order. A glass half full is also a glass half emplty...FILL IT! I will continually return to the table every time you ask me to get you more dressing, more beverage, more napkins etc. I will laugh at your dumb jokes, I will not laugh at rude ones. If you treat me like I'm "just a server", you will still be treated with respect. I will clean up after our child dumps cherrios or crackers all over the floor and then you crush them under your feet when you leave. I will accomodate your allergies if able, but I cannot replace house soup with Lobster Bisque because you are allergic to peas. I'll be back in a moment to check on you! Enjoy!
Wow. Heart attack anyone? Would you like high blood pressure with that?
So much anger over absolutely nothing. How do you go through life this way?
I've probably had all those situations happen to me and I really couldn't care less.
Getting angry over things you can't control (ie: other people's behaviour) is a waste of time and energy
Ya know what else is a great customer practice – if you drop something and every single patron starts clapping? I don't go into your work place and cheer you on when you make a mistake – don't do it in mine.
Yeah, that was funny in junior high. It's kinda retarded when you are an adult.
Dear anyone who has never waited a table,
It takes a tremendous amount of poise and courage to approach you and your three screaming children while you bicker over ribs or chicken and the cost of each. Most of us are college kids trying to pay for the outrageous costs of getting an education and are already likely more educated than you. Yet, you complain about a waiter who is only trying to make sure that you have everything you need at a table and probably doing a decent job. You get angry with the waiter when things aren't right on the plate that someone else likely didn't check right or the cooks didn't cook right before it was brought out to you. You leave messes that rival a pre-school all you can eat and then whine because we are personal with you? Part of the dining experience is going out and having a nice meal with a friendly waiter that does a good job taking care of your needs. If you want impersonal service go eat fast food or stay at home. Quit crying about honest young men and women who are trying their best to take 15 credit hours and work 30 hours a week dealing with the scum of mankind for more than often less than 20% tips at 2.35 an hour. If you want to be an anti-social jerk-off than stop eating 1,500 calorie meals every night at restaurants and keep your fat American behind at home. This article was obviously written by the most insensitive people possible.
I feel bad now.
People are such whiney bastards. I'm with you man. Stay home. How about what we hate about people who come to restaurants. Do you have time to hear that? If your so picky why don't you pay a personal chef to come feed you at your home. Most people who make these complaints have no idea what it takes to serve the public food. You can give them the best service humanly possible and there would still be something wrong. Sometimes the mistake is the kitchen not the person taking the order. Unless you think the server magically waits their own table and cooks and plates their own food too. I have been waiting tables for 10 years. I can remember everything you tell me without a pen or paper. Unless the party is over 8 people and they're ordering burgers all with different temps and special requests. I have actually had arrogant people who intentionall try to mess me up by talking between orders and switching orders and switching them back just to be dicks. I'm not a circus animal I'm a person taking your food order and bringing it to you. A lot goes into this process. Some people like almost no interaction with their server. Others like as much interaction as possible and talk and joke with their server. Some people actually invite you to sit with them because they actually do want to be friendly with you. It's about reading your table and knowing what they want in a matter or minutes. You a have to do speed personality reading to be a good server. It also depend where your going to eat. If your eating at Applebeesesque places they're instructed to act in a way that would be unbelievable taboo in a fine dining establishment. And people tip your servers...they work for tips okay. You wouldn't go to a bar and not tip your bartender or a strip club and forget those singles. It's not Europe the tip is not included in the rate of pay. Not to mention in places like Applebees they have to tip out based on their overall percentage. Which means if they don't get tipped they still have to tip out of their own money. The could actually walk out in the negative if they make no tips. Bottom line is before you go telling people what you think you know about their profession, and it is a profession for some and a very lucrative one in the right establishment, unless you really know what it's like to be in their shoes.
Perhaps where you work the majority of severs are college kids.......however, in a non-collegiate town the majority of servers are full time waiters. Regardless of whether or not it is your primary endeavor.....if I'm spending my money I want it to be your primary endeavor at the time. Don't make me suffer through ill-mannered service just because you were up all night cramming for a test.
im not sure i could have said that any better. Kudos
I've never waited a table, personally, but I've watched my mom do it for years. Even I (stress I) know how the etiquette is SUPPOSED to be. If you are respectful to me, I'll be respectful to you. I'm naturally pleasant and bubbly until you act stupid. As in avoiding tables, asking incredibly stupid questions ("We're ready to order now." - "Oh you wanted food?"), that sort of thing.
I've been a server for four years now while I am working through college at what I like to think is a very prestigious university. I pride myself on making my customers feel comfortable and being a server that they will request to have on their return. I tend to side with the servers and bartenders in this discussion, and I'm sure they've been said already, but:
1. Don't treat your server like he's beneath you, ever. He may be getting paid (less than minimum wage) to do it, yes, but there's absolutely no reason not to show common decency to someone simply because you're paying them to do you a service. Dining out is a privilege, not a right. If you're going to treat a server like dirt so you can feel superior, stay the hell home. I'm not beneath you, and I'm certainly not going to be as friendly to you when I'm your boss someday and you're getting paid to work for me. You have to give respect to get it.
2. All you wannabe "foodies" can shove it. Watching the Food Network does not qualify you to work for Zagat, so don't act like you can. If another customer feigns disgust because we don't serve Kobe beef, I'm going to lose it. The worst part is that the majority of these people – in my experience – are men clearly trying to impress the women they are with. It's embarrassing to watch, and I find it hard to believe women would find this incredibly fake persona appealing. To those same men: see point #1, as that doesn't fly either.
3. As a response to the post above re: splitting checks, asking a server to split anything more than an eight is beyond absurd. OrUnreality says: "Separating the checks for 17 people might be a bit of pain, but it doesn't take THAT much extra time, and the customers have every right to expect to be able to do it:. Yes, it does, and that attitude makes me realize you have never worked as a server. If it's really an issue, split the bill evenly among the members of the party! Is the extra two dollars on your check really going to matter?
Needless to say, I'm glad I can leave this line of work behind after graduation. To the good customers out there: you really are appreciated and make a difference to us, your servers. Keep doing what you're doing, you're the reason I don't mind going to work every day.
Both of my sisters worked as waitresses in the past, and between the two of them, there are dozens of horror stories involving vile restaurant patrons. On the other hand, I have in my 50+ years of life had only a few bad experiences with wait staff. I don't think it's because I've been particularly lucky or that my standards are low. The Golden Rule seems to work for me. For those here who have a long list of complaints, imagine at the end of the day at your place of business, your day's pay was determined each day based on how well you did your job, how efficient you were, and how friendly you were to everyone. And one slip up could cost you your daily wage. Well that's the life of a waiter or waitress with every table they serve. Part of eating out is the human interaction–try to be human.
For those who are telling us "if you can't afford a 20%-30%, then stay home" I have one thing to say: "If you can't pay your bills with your job, find a new one". I usually use 15% as my base tip and I'll tip more for great service and less for bad service. If it is horrific, you won't get a tip. That's only happened once or twice to me but yes, I've done it. And it has nothing to do with me affording the tip. If you didn't earn it, you don't get it. Simple as that.
I hate it when I have a $10 bill and I lay down a $20 and the server asks "Did you need change?" Hey you might be good, but no one deserves a 100% tip! A better way would be to state "I'll bring you your change." giving the patron a change to say 'No, that's OK, keep it.' or not.
As a server, I agree that a $10 tip is not at all expected, but when I have 8 or 9tables at a time and you ask for you check and I look down to see your table number written on the back of your bill, I can't remember if your bill was $10, $13, or $17. You are not the only table in the restaurant sweetheart, and I can't keep track of everybody's total.
I understand, but a server should never 'assume' a tip, which is why you should change the wording to something more general. Doing so to me will instantly get the tip reduced by 5% and I usually tip well.
Oh, and I'm not your sweetheart. Hate that too...
Food for thought...If you knew that you were going out to dinner and guess that you would spend around $100, resulting in a $20 tip for good service, do you think you would get better or worse service if you gave your server $20 when you sat down? Would the server be grateful and knowing that you are tipping properly, give you great service? Or would the opposite happen, where your server fells that they were already paid and ignore you?
And would it become a bidding war between your tables for your time? I know that guy just gave you $20, but I'll give you $25 if you pay more attention to me. It would be like the eBay of dining.
Anyways, I bring this up because I am a server and once had a table give me $1 every time I did something relevant for them. I came back with drinks and got $1. I got a few refills and got $1. Appetizers came out...$1. You get the point. I always do my best to be attentive and try to predict a guest's needs so that I am providing service without them having to ask for anything, but I put forth a little extra effort for this family. It's nice to know that you are appreciated and you are guaranteed to be compensated for your hard work.
Good point. I've noticed that in restaurants that automatically include the tip for parties of 8 or more (or whatever the magic number is), the service is usually sub par cause the server figures they've already been paid. That's the point when I call over a manager. There is just no excuse.
I'm a little puzzled about the complaints that people are "whiners" for posting complaints about servers. Read the top of the column–it's what the column is about. I agree that servers are generally hard-working, underappreciated, blamed for things not their fault, undertipped, and often abused. My answer to the editors' call to add to the menu of complaints: when we have a legitimate complaint (broken glass in our food, vermin on the wall, a server spills food on us–all of which have happened to me), apologize profusely and do what you can–within the restaurant's policy–to make it right. Don't be defensive and don't dismiss the complaint. You don't have to waive the entire bill for the meal (although I will never forget the amazing restaurant that did this, merely because our server was just slightly snippy and the host noticed–we had not even complained). But it costs you nothing to treat the complaint seriously, recognize that the diner's evening has just become much less pleasant than they hoped, and apologize.
A "NEVER DO" for the customer............I am no longer a server, and I havent been for about 20 years, but I can tell you the one thing that sent a shiver up my spine every time a customer did it: the mock writing on your hand with an imaginary pen from across the restaurant to request the bill.
NOTE: MOST SERVERS HATE THIS WITH A PASSION.
Then how are you supposed to tell the server that is ignoring you that you want to leave? Next time I'll just dine and dash.
Give them the "finger". At least then you'll get their attention.
Why? It's better than snapping fingers or wildly gesticulating 'come here!' or worse, shouting to get the server's attention. I've actually gotten up and walked around to find a server, but I shouldn't have to. The gesturing you're referring to doesn't seem demeaning or anything, so why is it offensive? Generally it only happens when the server is making himself too scarce, but we manage to make eye contact.
Dear Customer,
I remember you. You were the one that was only capable of one thought at a time. "May I have some ketchup?" is all you could remember to ask me when you wanted hot sauce, a straw,and an extra napkin because you dropped yours. So you make me make 4 trips to the table. Your kids made a mess that I had to clean up. And when it came to the bill, you barely tipped me. I remember you. You also were never happy no matter what I did. If I visitied your table too much you complained, if I didn't do it enough, you complained. You sent the food back because it wasn't to your liking and blamed me for it. So please, do me a favor, don't come to my restaurant. Don't go to any restaurant for that matter. I'm not your personal slave. I'm not your kid's babysitter. I'm not a mindreader. And if I served you, I deserve to be paid.
Signed,
Your Server
After serving for 4 years, here's definetly some customer behavior that needs to be 86'd:
Please, I beg of you, do not sit at a table that has not been cleaned off yet ( I'm talking dirty dishes, silverware, and my money). I understand the restraunt is busy and you really want a table but give me a few minutes to clean it off. Chances are if it's dirty it means I'm very busy not that I'm lazy and just dont want to be sat again. Of course I want you to sit there, I just need a few minutes to clear the table off.
If you plan on having a large group of people coming in please ask me before you grab another table to add to your existing table. We have certain sections for each server and you might be taking another servers table and that just creates a headache for the both of us regarding who takes the table etc.
If I cut you off understand I'm doing it for both your safety and mine. I am the one responsible for you if you leave the restraunt and hurt yourself or others. So, If I do cut you off please try to be mindful and refrain from acting like a crybaby.
If you need a refill please politely flag me down..Dont shake the ice in your glass in the air. Chances are, I will ignore you simply because you clearly have no appreciation or manors.
And finally. If serving is or isnt my career, I would appreciate you treating me the same in both cases. Waiting tables is a JOB and it pays my bills just like your job pays yours. So please dont treat me like I'm incapable of thinking because I serve.
As a server, I've got to say that I disagree with your preference of being flagged down for another drink. When I'm busy and someone makes eye contact and simply points at a nearly empty glass of wine, etc., I appreciate the fact they haven't made me cross the room or interrupt their conversation to get something that's obvious. I don't take offense to it at all.
I was in the food service industry for over 17 years. I've probably seen it all.
Pet peeves for corporate jerks:
1. PLEASE RETIRE the faux-friendly BFF persona that you make servers adopt. This includes:
a. Servers looming, bending over, crouching, sitting, or kneeling at tables. It looks ridiculous and makes people uncomfortable. Also, servers bend down enough during the job without needing to genuflect at every 4-top just to say hi.
b. Making the server write their name on the table. That is so over! No one cares what the server's name is, much less if they can write it upside down and backwards in crayon. Also, that stupid paper on the table looks like the dining equivalent of rubber sheets on a bed. The customer might not act like a toddler if you don't diaper their eating area.
c. Making the servers dance, chant, clap, or do any other stupid routines to announce birthdays or whathaveyou. No one with an IQ over 75 finds that kind of thing entertaining, and it screws up the servers' timing when they have to interrupt their table service to do the Boot Scoot Boogie.
d. Just shut down the restaurant on Christmas and New Years, ffs. Chances are the cost of closing will be about $20 less than your profit if you were open. Plus, you won't have servers and bartenders robbing you blind because you forced them to work on a national holiday instead of being home with their families.
Server pet peeves:
a. Don't make it so blatantly obvious that you have better things to do than to be waiting on tables at the moment. Maybe you're in school and have homework, or a hot date, or (sad to say) a sick kid at home. But if you're at work, concentrate on work and do a good job. Don't just blow off people's refills and condiments all day, take forever greeting them or getting their change, and then be surprised because you only made 8%. Some of us actually did want that ketchup after all, and don't feel compelled to subsidize your life goals from pure altruism.
b. Don't turn on your "server tape recorder." "HiwelcometoKrusties,canIstartyouoffwithanIBCrootbeerorsomepotatoskins?" We know you've said it all a million times, but if you're so obviously on autopilot, customers will think you won't care about the meal, either. It doesn't build confidence. Also, say "salad or soup." It sounds better than "soup or salad," which then gets run together as "supersalad."
c. It's all in the semantics. DO NOT SAY, "Do you need change?" Say, "Shall I get your change?" The 2nd sentence makes the assumption that change is needed. Which it is!! Similarly, don't say, "You still working on that?" as if people are competing in an eating contest but have fallen behind. Say something like, "Would you like me to take your plate?" Say, "ladies and gentlemen" instead of "you guys." People appreciate the slight formality and feel more like special guests. If they wanted to hear "you guys" they'd eat TV dinners on the couch in front of CSI reruns.
d. If someone has a legitimate special request for their meal, make sure it happens. If the BOH makes it wrong, don't just bring it out anyway with the attitude of, "Well, I asked but they didn't do it, so...oh well!" or worse, "Did you want me to fix it?" It's your job to make sure the meal comes out as requested. If you receive it in the kitchen and it's wrong, tell the chef to fix it then and there. Don't just put it on the customer to ask again and expect the customer to just be cool with it.
Pet peeves for customers:
a) If you eat in a restaurant on a Sunday after church, TIP. And quit acting like horses' a$$es. Or Jesus will hate you, thus negating the time you spent in church supposedly redeeming your soul. Also, those fake dollar bills with prayers inside become Satan's instruments when left as tips in lieu of real money.
b) If you're eating lunch in a restaurant with 4 friends, and you're on a time limit, don't pay with 5 separate credit cards or 5 crisp new $20 bills, each needing its own change. Servers aren't cash machines, and don't usually carry $88.94 in change. It takes the same amount of time to pay out a check: approximately 2-3 minutes. So if they have to do 5, that's 10-15 minutes that you're waiting for your check and complaining that the server's "taking so long." Break your $20!
c) If you're in a large party, expect that your service will take more time than if you were in a party of 2 or 4. It takes a long time and more staff resources to synchronize orders for 8 or more people, so cool your jets. That said, it would probably go faster if everyone STFU and listened to the server recite the specials, soups, and drinks, so s/he didn't have to repeat themselves 8 times.
d) Parents of small children: You are out in the world with others. Others aren't interloping on your own personal family experience. So if your child is screaming, crying, needing a change, SICK, or otherwise not fit for public company, you need to remove them to the appropriate environment ASAP. No one else is required to take one for the team just because you had a kid. Also, don't bring a behemoth SUV stroller into a restaurant. It's a tripping hazard. And for the love of God, DO NOT change the kid at the table!! Were you raised by wolves?
e) No matter how important you are, gratuitous rudeness is unacceptable. Threats or attempts at violence are not tolerated. EVER. Servers and bartenders aren't there to be your punching bags, take your verbal abuse, or let you get drunk to the gills and babysit you. If you engage in this behavior, you will quickly run out of restaurants because you'll get BANNED.
f) Finally, TIP, ffs. Don't roll out that tired canard, "I don't believe in tipping." In 17 years, I never heard that uttered BEFORE the meal began. It's accepted practice that tipping is part of the restaurant experience. Servers don't "need to get another job if they don't like it." Even if they do, another server will be needed to take their place. If you eat at restaurants, then obviously you need servers there to do their jobs, ergo you're obligated to hold up your end of the bargain. You wouldn't like it if your employer decided they didn't believe in Xmas bonuses after you worked all year under the assumption you were getting one for a job well done. It's the same thing.
Tipping is BS. The restaurant should automatically add a standard service charge to the bill and then pay the servers a decent wage. The customer could still add a couple of bucks to the bill. Tipping is just a way for corporate jerks to rip off their employees. Also, I'm bad at math.
Very thorough.
As a server, I agree with almost everything you said, and will definitely work on some of the server "pet peeves" you listed – there are definitely better ways to say certain things. The only thing I will defend, at least in some perspectives, is sounding like a recording – saying the same thing to every table , aside from being what the corporate offices want, also means I don't have to waste time thinking about what I'm going to say and greatly streamlines my job so that I can spend less time talking to my customers and more time getting them what they need. It's not easy to balance being personal and doing things quickly. I've even been known to "joke" about sounding like a tape recorder before, and acknowledge that some of the things I say I'm saying because I'm required to say them.
Also, thank you for bringing up the point about splitting checks. I once had to split a party of 13's check ten ways and almost all of them payed with credit cards – it literally took me half an hour to split the checks up properly and process the payment, not to mention the extra effort put in to writing the order down so that I could easily split the check later (and before anyone asks, we don't ring it in as separate checks because if the food goes into the kitchen separately it will come out separately; the computer will also only let us have one check open per table at a time unless we split it off of an existing check, at least where I work).
Alex,
You say:
"It's all in the semantics. DO NOT SAY, "Do you need change?" Say, "Shall I get your change?""
My opinion is that it should not be a question at all. It should be "I'll be right back with your change." If I say, "The rest is for you", then there you go. If I say nothing, then I'm expecting change back. If I only have 2 twenty dollar bills for a $25 check, I will not be giving $15. $5, yes, maybe $6 or $7 if the service was really good, but I do 20% usually.
I'm glad someone wrote about this. I have laughed years about the awfulness of the question "Are you still working on that?"
I hadn't thought about how annoying "Have you saved room for dessert?" is.
Maybe you should just eat at home.
As a server, I can't stand it when you greet a family and they don't look at you. It gets worse when they place their order without one ounce of eye contact.
Off this, one of the things that bugs me now is kids (and not for the reasons you think) – kids are playing video games at the table and some are listening to music and don't even take off their headphones when they order. I just graduated college so I'm not that old and can't even imagine getting away with this when I was a child.
I did catering for awhile and stopped because people can be so unreasonable and nasty. Now, I east out often in types of places and I almost always tip at least 20%. But I still dislike the "we" thing,and I very much resent being called "hon" or "honey" by anyone who isn't a whole lot older than I am. At 57, there are very few servers who are older than I am!
To all those who talk about tips–I'm not sure you realize how the IRS has come up with taxing tips. It's not based on actual amount claimed (as it used to be), but based on actual sales. So, if you happen to sell $1000 worth of food, the IRS expects you to have made 8% of that in tips, or $80. If you don't claim that much, you are allocated that amount, and the income taxes for $80 are deducted from that biweekly $2-an-hour check. So, yes, it is in a server's best interest to give good service, so they can make more than the 8% they're paying taxes on, but if a server gets stiffed a few times a night (say for a slow kitchen beyond their control), they still have to pay taxes based on sales. They can't write in "slow kitchen–not my fault" when they itemize at the end of the year.
a server should never ask if you want pepper (or cheese, etc) before you have even tasted the food. that doesn't make any sense.
Are you that ignorant? If I serve a plate of pasta, of COURSE I'm going to ask if you want cheese on it – for that matter, most people won't even touch a pasta dish WITHOUT cheese on it. The same goes for salads and crushed black pepper. People know what they do and don't like and the majority like both of those on many things. Is it that hard to say 'No, thank you.'???
The water thing is actually good . . . that way for the server to give you the *opportunity* to request something or make a correction to the meal without he/she seeming to ask 'is everything to your satisfaction' over and over. Things do change during a meal; the customer may want more of a side dish, a new glass of a different wine, or one of a hundred other things. Checking or refilling water/coffee (called 'skating') allows you to be present at that one table briefly and silently, and permits the diner to address you without having to hail you as you walk past the aisle.
This may be a San Francisco phenomenon, but I really don't like male (or for that matter, female) servers who take flirting over the top. A friendly smile is fine, even a wink if you are the type who can get away with it, but I can't tell you how many times I've gone to restaurants with several girlfriends and the male server touches each of us on the shoulder as he talks, or rubs my back while speaking in soft tones. It's creepy, and made all the more weirder by the fact that I am a woman and 9 times out of 10 they are a gay man. Personal space is personal space, and unless you would like me to come up to you while you are serving someone else, rub your back and say "can I get some more water" then I would try to not fondle the customers. It also just seems a little unfair – like I should give you a better tip because I find you attractive? Does that make my food taste better or my water come faster?
It's sad that this is the first article I read on Eatocracy. Not a good first-impression. Lost my appetite after seeing how mean people can be towards waiters.
Attention food service workers – based on the blog, it seems a new line of questioning is in order...upon reaching a table for the first time you should apparently start with "Hello, how would you like to be addressed this evening?" (guys, you guys, ladies, gents) followed by ' would you like to know my name or do you prefer to point at me and call me 'that one'? Also be sure to ask if you patrons would like for you to check on them throughout their meal or if you should remain unseen and unheard for the rest of their dining experience.
People on BOTH sides of the table need to not be arrogant, presumptuous, rude, and entitled.
Also – thanks to the customers who say, 'How are YOU doing this eveing?' – It's nice to know you care, or at least are being polite – makes us feel more human. :)
I always ask my customers how they're doing and make it a point to thank them if they ask me the same, since not everyone does.
Also. When one asks for "sweet tea", please don't tell me "We don't have sweet tea. We do have unsweet though". If I ask for sweet tea and you don't have it, you can safely assume they just want tea.
As a server, I disagree with this. If a customer asks for something and you don't have it, you tell them up front, since if I bring out something else, the customer is going to assume I didn't hear them and that I did my job wrong, and I'd end up having to explain it to them anyway. Some people who order sweet tea might not be ok with unsweetened iced tea; it may even seem like overkill to ask "Is Pepsi ok?" when people ask for a Coke, but I've had customers tell me "no" and order another drink. In general, it's better to try to cut off any potential problems by asking at the before if something is ok, rather than waiting for there to be a problem and then fixing it.
I get more people upset if I don't bring them premixed sweet tea then if they have to add the sugar themselves to the cold unsweetened. It just doesn't taste the same when you add sugar to the already cold tea, sweet tea has the sugar dissolved in it while it is still hot. I've been screamed at over the restaurant not having sweet tea, like I have personal control over the menu.
A restaurant is in the business of hospitality, yet there are limits. It's the only industry where it seems ok to sit and take up space for hours well beyond what you've paid for. Sitting and having a casual meal is one thing and its encouraged, but sitting there for 3 hours on a busy weekend is just rude! That is how we make our money. I don't come and sit on your desk for hours. Again have a nice easy meal with family or friends but if you're catching up, go to a bar or coffee shop, they are set up for you to sit around and chat. The typical server has 4-5 tables at a time, so think about this, when you sit for hours you essentially give us a 20% pay cut. You'd be pissed if that happened to you!
Agree. Once I worked a morning shift. Family of 20 sat in my section. I have 4 tables. They stayed for 3 hours. Left me a $30.00. Some may say that's not a "bad tip" however...in my section in 3 hours. I make about 60.00 on those 4 tables. ....they cut my income in half during those 3 hours!
I lived in Europe for several years and LOVED that they didn't bother you for your check. In Germany, when you are finished eating, you make eye contact and simply say (in German), 'I'd like to pay, please). Peace of cake and you had peace knowing your conversation wasn't going to be interrupted every five minutes to see if you were ready to pay when you were not. I mean, honestly, sometimes you go to a nice restaurant for the atmosphere and to get away and have a nice chat. The last thing you want is to be interrupted in the middle of your thoughts...
Things which annoy me:
- while I'm actively eating or engaged in conversation, the waiter or manager stopping me in mid-sentence or mid-bite to ask me if everything is ok. If it's not ok, I'll seek you out.
- managers who seem to have nothing to do; you can tell the good ones who are pitching in to make sure drinks are refilled and meals get served promptly.
- hostesses who have difficulty with strategic seating planning. You can tell by the total confusion on their faces - it's hard to believe deciding where to seat 2 people could be so challenging. I realize they have to juggle differently sized groups of people, plus keeping in mind the wait staff workloads, but a table for 2 shouldn't be so hard when the restuarant isn't full.
Me and a friend of mine along with her husband went to a typical resturant. It wasn't one of those popular or "famous" resturants like Outback or Olive Garden. It was called Tokyo Bowl. Our experience was a typical "Here's your sign" experience.
She sat us down and ordered our drinks. Roughly 10-15 minute later we had to "flag" her down and told her that we haven't ordered yet. Her response was "Oh, you wanted food?".
After we got our food, ate, and chatted, we had to "flag" her down again and asked for to-go boxes. 10-15 minutes later, we called her agian. Her response was "Oh. I'm sorry. I forgot. Do you want dessert?"
*palm* There were more "Here's your sign" moments but those just highlighted the evening. We paid for our things and gave her a penny for a tip.
Please don't sweep or vaccum under my table while I'm still eating.
My personal pet peeve is when paying the check with cash at an establishment that has the server handle the exchange, some will ask "Do you need change?" It shouldn't be a question. I think "I'll be right back with your change" is the proper way to handle it. If I already included the tip I'll say "No need, the rest is for you." And I always tip at least 20%.
my pet peeve with waiters/waitresses is when they don't do the job they are paid to do. when i order a steak, i expect to get a steak knife. i shouldn't have to ask. and when i do have to ask, don't get an attitude with me because i get annoyed that my steak is cold by the time you get around to bringing me a steak knife. it's your job to take my order and deliver my food. it's also your job to make sure i have what i need to be able to eat the food i've ordered. without customers, you would be unemployed. i think that's why they call it "customer" service.
Few things... The sit at the table – it's supposed to increase tips by showing they are "close". Meh. If the guy at Ruth's Chris did that, boo. But Applebees? Come on.
Next tips. I was at a bar trying to run a tab, but checks kept randomly coming. We had a $30+ bill that we tipped like 10 bucks, then 3 min later a $4.50 bill for a beer and paid with a 5. THe manager was like WTF? She got a 33% tip 3 min earlier when we didn't ask for a bill. They had a credit card on hold for the tab. And the menu doesn't say $5.50+tip. When i get groceries i don't OWE the cashier extra money for bagging. I know it's "custom" but it's not in Europe. Why the difference? And FYI my sister waited and depended on tips. I know it sucks when she got stiffed, but if she works a full shift, she should get paid appropriately. Just have the tip automatically included and be done with it.
I once frequented a diner where one of the waitresses, invariably, as she walked up to you with your food, would stop, look at you, and say, "are you ready?" Even if you're sitting there starving with nothing else on the table. This was extremely annoying. So one time she did this and I said, sarcastically, "No, clearly I'm not ready for your food, go put it back under the heat lamps for another 20 minutes." Ans so she did! Lol. I made sure I never sat in her section again after that.
You sound like a big tool. I would probably sprinkle a pub or two in your salad. You'd be amazed at how well ranch hides pubes. And yes it happens all the time... think about that...
Wouldn't it be great if ordering and paying etc. were web-based? Just a little computer screen at your table...scroll through the menu. Click on what you want and send via an email to the kitchen. Need a refill, check or want dessert? Just fire off an email. The servers would only have to come to the table to drop off the food, and not make unnecessary trips to your table to check on things.
I have heard of some really High-End resturants in Major cities who do something similar, with IM's....it sounds like a great idea, until you get a drink on the computer! I do also know of a coffee bar whose tables are touch screen computers – not just a section, but almost the entire table; there's a 1 ft section all the way around for you to set your beverages on, and it's got a protective screen cover over the whole thing. But really, I'm waiting for the "Jetson's" futuristic tables, where you push a button, and up pops what you ordered!
I usually don't have a problem with most servers. Two times, however, comes to mind in connection with bad service. I had a waitress once when the lemon fell out of the water glass onto the table, put the lemon back in the glass and expected me to drink it. Then when we complained, she got all upset and cried to the people at the table next to us. The second time was when the waiter served me my hot chocolate. He brought me a cup of hot water and a hot chocolate packet for me to make my own. I still get a good laugh out of that experience.
I can't stand it when a waiter or waitress says that they "will be taking care of you." It sounds like they're willing to change your pants.
As a server, I find it funny that you mention that only because I've had a few customers say similar things to me when I tell them I'll be taking care of them. But point taken.
Geez, quit your freaking whining and just stay home. This entire piece is so droll and self-serving.
WHAT A WHINER! I have no doubt I would find the author to be insufferable in almost any social situation. To the author: you deserve your own article - "annoying petty whiners that you would rather not have to serve".
I have worked in the Fast Food Industry, and the Wait Service/Casual Dining industry; most college students do at one point or another in their lives. It's important to note that a NEW server will be overly attentive, because they are learning how to pace themselves, in order to provide you better service. Also, on a given night, a server in a CDR will be assigned between 5 -15 tables, depending on the days schedule and size of the resturant – you are not the only guest(s) they are trying to care for. If it's fine dining we're talking about, my only experience is as a customer, and one should never be afraid to ask questions about the service or offer critiques – if the server is GOOD, they will be able to answer your questions, take your critique without becoming angry, and will generally offer a sincere apology if you are not genuinely satisfied. My most shocking experience with fine dining was when I ordered a water in a glass, and the server produced a pelligrino, a water goblet, and a bucket of fresh ice witha scoop; he proceeded to, cube by cube until i was satisfied with the content, fill my glass, then open the bottle and pour it for me...for starters, I asked for a glass of water, but his presentation and service were so , OTT, that I didn't argue. that Bottle cost $7...I don't know if the Bottle was worth it, but that service sure was! As for the "have you finished with that, or may I take your plate, or can I get this out of your way?" we watch you eat; you may not see it, but it's our JOBS to do just that! so, when you set your fork or spoon down for more than 5 minutes, yeah, we're going to inquire if you would like us to do our jobs! Oh, it's also our jobs to SELL what we're serving you, or what you may like, that you didn't know about, such as specials or dessert. true, some people come in knowing exactly what they want, others may not, we're required to treat each customer as equally as possible, which means specials and dessert offerings! Drinks....hey, we know, you're thirsty – over 75% of CDR's train their staff that the first drink will be consumed in less than 5 minutes of it being served; which means we MUST be back within that 5 minutes to refill it! the refill will last about 15 to 20 minutes, depending on if you ordered an appetizer or if we offer free bread; so again, within that alotted time frame, we at least have to check, and most often, to save time, we will have a pitcher in hand IF needed. Proper FDR's train their staff to use Sir, Madam, Ladies and/or Gentlemen; CDR's allow less formal addressings of their customers. And of course, it's all by region as to how you may be addressed – don't be rude if you don't like the term being used to address you, politley request how you prefer to be addressed.
Our kind of Customer Servce has always been taken for granted, and we are generally under appreciated; this is not to say you will never recieve poor and bad service – but you could try by being a better customer!
Oh yeah, I forgot.
For all of you who couldn't be bothered to actually READ the article: the "snobby", "whining" writer hardly said anything bad about service. This is a list of QUOTES of those that he POLED for THEIR pet peeves.
After which he politely asked for the other point of view....and then came the abuse. Go figure.
If you had been belittled and treated as badly by as many people as these poor servers have, you would be worse than abusive.
Here's a customer etiquette question for the waiters out there. I know that you are often required to tell your customers about the day's specials. Because we're vegetarians (and because we usually read the specials while we're waiting for our table), we usually know ahead of time that we won't want any of the specials. My first inclination is to say "no thank you...we're vegetarians, so I'm afraid those won't apply to us" as soon as you say "we have a few specials today..." (just thinking of saving you the bother of reciting the same thing you've probably had to recite a hundred times already), but thinking about it, I wonder if doing so doesn't come across as rude. As waiters (or former waiters), would you prefer that a customer tell you that up front, or is it better for you if we just let you finish the spiel?
It's something I've often wondered about, but never thought to ask my waiter when it's come up in a restaurant!
I appreciate being told you are vegitarian as quickly as possible because I can then point you to what we offer and what we can do to please you.
I had a person order a veggie plate at my store, a casual home-cooking chain, and then react because some of the vegetables had meat or fat in them. Had I known, I could have saved them time by saying the greens beans have bacon, the beans have sausage and if you get the mashed potatoes, do not get gravy, it has sausage.
If you say something up front, I can make sure you do not get anything that goes against your eating lifestyle. :)
Thanks for the reply, LJT.
I'm often surprised how many of my fellow vegetarians don't realize that just because something says "veggie" or "vegetable" doesn't mean it's meat-free (they should try reading a few labels in the supermarket sometime!). We always make a point of asking, unless something's clearly marked "vegetarian" or "vegan" on the menu. A little questioning on the diner's part, such as "is there any meat, seafood or meat/seafood stock in the vegetable soup?" can go a lot way toward avoiding an uncomfortable situation!
For me personnally interrupt and say I'm a vegatarian. (If I'm good at my job – I'll have a spiel for you too!) Im also going to ask you to add on something to whatever you order anyway so if you are a vegatarian and order a meal...I'll take my que from that and try to add on something to accomodate your vegatarian meal.
Thanks! Looks like my instincts were right all along!
While I usually don't like when people cut me off (especially with short, blunt, impersonal responses), I agree that knowing that you're a vegetarian, or that you have a certain allergy, is very important to know up front. We're supposed to present wine to the table – generally before I say my spiel I ask "Would you folks be interested in our featured wine today, the ___?" I feel like this lets people who are interested let me say my thing, and when people aren't (they'll either say something or shake their head) I just go on to the next thing.
I've read through a lot these and working as a waiter, I'd just like to say a few things:
I work at a chain restaurant, and many of the things we do that seem to annoy customers aren't my choice, they're just how I'm supposed to do my job.
Anytime a customer is finished with anything, we're supposed to get it out of the way. This includes dinner plates if one person is done and the other is not.
We were recently told that anytime a customer orders water that it is supposed to be in a small glass and served without a straw. Yes, it's annoying and I can imagine being a customer and getting upset at not having a straw. I always carry straws on me though s I have them.
Some people look at me cross-eyed when I suggest an appetizer or a dessert, or talk about our featured wine. All of this is required by the corporate establishment. "Secret shoppers" come in to evaluate us; if we don't mention the wine, any specials, the soup, and two specific appetizers and desserts, we lose points on this evaluation. Also, with the economy down and decreased business, there is more pressure on the service staff from the management to get the people that do come in to buy as much as they can. I generally don't push it that much, and while I do everything I can to make my customers are comfortable as possible, I still have a job to do whether you like it or not. It's true that my hourly wage is very small, but I wouldn't even have a job if I didn't do what they told me to do. I have bills to pay too, you know? It's a fine balancing act – the needs of the customer and the "needs" of the "corporation" or whatnot.
Also, if you develop a reputation as a bad tipper, don't expect to go to a restaurant and get good service. Common sense dictates that I'm going to spend more time on a party of five or six drinking wine with their steaks than on a two-top with waters and burgers because there's a much greater reward for me there (that doesn't mean I won't pay attention to you though, but it's the honest truth!).
I also can't stand when people tip on the amount after coupons. My tip out is on the amount before coupons. You shouldn't tip on tax, but just because you can cut your bill in half by using coupons doesn't mean I should get half the tip for the same amount of work.
Also, it doesn't happen often, but some people complain about being "double charged" for alcohol when it lists food and alcohol subtotals separately at the bottom of the bill before the total subtotal. It only double charges the people who can't do math.
I think that's it...I've tried to be as nice as possible, since I know it's obviously tough for everyone in this economy, but these are some of the things that caught my eye and some of the things that annoy my coworkers and I. I do my best to treat everyone respectfully and hope that I, as a server, will receive the same respect.
wow, hopefully you left your welding equipment in the truck when you went out to eat with the other welders
I am an ex-trainer for the Cheesecake Factory. That said, if any of you have EVER thought you knew what your server goes through, think again! Anyone that has ate at a CCF knows how busy those locations get. Now add to it, people like me that run around and quote a rule book bigger than the phone book at the servers while they are trying to do their job. Furthermore, nobody comes to your office and watches your every move like all the dinners, managers and the trainers are watching these servers. And nobody critizies your every move and then cuts your pay (by not tipping decent) all becuase you inadvertenly offended their sensibilites. The servers dont get to keep all that tip people, these chains dictate to the servers how much gets tipped out to the bar, bakery helpers, bussers etc. Most servers are lucky if they walk home with enough to pay for their gas to and from work and to pay the baby sitter for watching their kids while they put up wtih all this......focus on these things next time you go out to eat. And have a heart! Lastly, if you realy want to put your thoughts and your comments your mouth is....go get a job (if you can even pass the interview) at a CCF..... then go throught the 2 week training cours on that 200 item menue you HAVE to memorize...then go out and run tables for a couple of mounths. This will give you all a whole new perpective on being a server.
I get the impression spelling and grammar aren't required to work as a trainer for CCF.
I typed my response in 45sec...sorry I didnt pull my whole office staff, run drafts and then a proof. But its nice to see that the grammer police are out to corect and serve.
Bottom line is: You just can't please everybody. I've been a waitress for 5 years now and have learned so much about people. You're either too attentive, or not attentive enough. You're either too rushed or waiting too long. It's really hard to find a happy medium. From my experience, I'm not trying to bug you or interrupt your conversation, I'm just trying to see if you need anything. People run out of napkins, need another fork, request another plate, and other things that aren't as obvious as a drink refill. Also, I'm a very friendly waitress and like to talk "with" people and not just "to" because I truly do like meeting and talking to new people. Customers who joke around with me make my nights go by so much better and makes me a happier employee.
Also, no matter what, don't skip out on a tip. My mother has been a waitress for over 30 years, and didn't raise two kids on a $2.15 hourly wage. Your waiter and waitress is most likely either supporting a family, working through school, paying off student loans, or maybe even all of the above. So don't nit pick at your server they are just trying to do their job! :-)
I just can't stand the phrase "Is everything tasting wonderful?" This is just a psychological ploy to get you to say "yes" when in reality the server (or restaurant) really doesn't care anyway.
Seeing as how this was written by a broad, it is easy to say, once more, that it is impossible to tell what the heck you all want. If a waiter didnt pay attention to a woman there'd be some other blog about it.
From a guys perspective, if the waitress is hot, she can sit on my lap to take my order. Although some of the phrases are a little irritating. The next time a waiter asks "are we thru with that?", just say "yes, Ive had my share, and now you can pay for it".
word UP.
I've been a server for 16 years. 12 years at present spot part-time. (I work another job to full-time). My biggest pet peeve as a server (and I know its my job to serve you so you don't have to throw that comment back at me) is going to a table asking if anyone needs a refill and two of the 4 pple there get a refil. I quickly return with their drinks and the 3rd person needs a refill, as I get seated with a 6 top, I quickly drop off silverware, tell them I'll be right with them, drop of the 3rd persons drink....and of course the 4th person wants a refill! Why?! I'm fairly sure that if you are at a table and you are eating and the server asks if anyone would like a refill....even if your cup is full...you could say. Go ahead and bring another. That saves me the extra trips, you get your drink quick! And we are all happy! I understand things happen but while I'm getting a drink for someone at your table and you decide to suck down your drink...just know. That refill may not come as quick as the first. As your table is not the only one I am there to serve.
As the customer. I tend to like if a server checks back to the table between 3 and 5 minutes after the food is delivered. That way, if something is incorrect, or a condiment is needed that wasn't served with the meal, I can ask you quietly and politely and not have to make a scene waving you down to get ketchup for my fries. :)....I love being a server and enjoy meeting all people that cross my path. If you are a good server...I think you know those customers that you can BS with and those who are there strickly to dine.
I want to throttle waiters/waitresses who come over when I just stuffed a big ol' forkful in my face, and ask "How is everything?"
I want to throttle you.
When I go out to eat, I do not include a "tip" in the price. Your service, determines your tip. I do not start out at 15%. You knew when you applied for that job, that you were going to make XXX amount, and you needed the tips to cover. When I decided to go out to eat, I "had an idea" of what the price of the food was going to be. Don't greet me as "guys" when it is clearly all ladies. How about "how are you all today/night?" Don't call me "hon" okay "babe" I'm okay w/Ms or Ma'am" We are not on a first name basis. I understand why you are bending down (never had anyone sit at my table), but write the order down. I know what order, because that is what I wanted; but you don't remember because you took 2-4 other orders at my table too. Since you didn't write it down, I know where the blame lies. If you did write it down (what I said I wanted), and it still comes out wrong, I know it wasn't you, and I am not going to take it out on you. I do not expect my server to "run around like a crazy person" to cater to me, but just get my order right. If I can clearly see hair on the plate when you sit it down, I'm sure you saw it when you were carrying it.
Now about this tip...Jesus Christ died for my sins and he only wants 10%, why should you get more? When you accepted the job at "XXX" they told you you would make $X.xx. Can you live on that? Then get a different job, or a second job. When I took my job, they told me I was going to make $X.xx; I made a decision that included that info. If most people screw up like a lot of servers do, they would be out of a job.
I like how you mention Jesus Christ. Guess what? Not all of us are christians. I am not. I'm here to give my tables good service not to have them tell me about Jesus. Also, Jesus never demanded a 10% tithe. That would be in the Old Testament when your loving god was doing all that killing and sending plagues to kill women and children. Stay at home if you're not going to tip. thats how we pay our bills.
You don't have to believe in Jesus, my point here is, I'm not shelling out more to you than I do him. I'm not wound tight at all, I'm just sick of these servers complaining about tips. I'm not obligated to tip you, it is up to me if I want to give you a tip, and how much I'm going to give. I don't know where this minimum came from. And if I don't want to tip, that is not a cause for me to stay home....if I, along with everyone else did, you would be out of a job.
Wound a little tight, aren't you.
yeah because i watch ungrateful people shovel disgusting things into their mouth all day. I feel like a tobacco exec from the sixties. I'm wound tight about this subject because it's what I do DOC. You should see my comments on the sex articles thought. I'm loose like a GOOSE!!!!
Serverguy–my comment was a reply to Tanita, not to you. Sorry for not being clear.
Your tone and attitude clearly show that you are an entitled, self-serving cunt who thinks she can shit on people she deems "inferior." Fuck you and fuck your God.
My pet peeves is when I group of ladies go to a restaurant for dinner and the waitress says "How are you guys tonight?" Do you see any men?? Just say "How are you tonight?" As for complaining about waiters, they are a very hard job. some of these complainers should try it for a day and their opinions will change. GUARANTEED!!!
I'd like to see some of these servers try being engineers for a day.
Last time I checked an engineer gets paid more then $2.13 an hour :)
Hey, Idiot. I was an waiter for a long time. And am now an engineer, with multiple degrees. EE, CS and Mathematics.
Put myself and wife through college.
Sucks on them apples.
Who are you to talk down about another persons job. What do you do that is so great?
10 to 1 this guy has a TINY DICK.
Well after reading most comments, if you are a server then in order to earn a 15% tip, you better earn it. I tip according to my service and so I only go to restuarants I know the servers and they can sometimes get a 7 buck on at 22 dollar bill. Hows that math. Now if I have my food and have asked you 3 times for silverware, I am leaving a note, "your tip is get a new job" (yeah I do, its my money I am spending).
wow clearly this writer has never worked in the service industry. pretty snobby article if you ask me.
One more thing–I'm sorry this is a forum for me to vent and I'm sort of enjoying it–the next time I hear some middle aged male curse at or just be plain rude to a female server because she didn't drop of his martini quick enough I'm gonna flip. As a male server I get my share of rude comments but nothing to the extent I hear directed towards female servers. Any so called man who curses or mistreats a female server because he can't handle his alcohol or whatever should be relegated to the status of little boy. I'll give a safe little plastic cup to drink that martini in so you don't spill it on your goofy tie.
One of the greatest joys in life is actually stepping up to and confronting a bully. It's been my experience that most women truly appreciate a guy who has the cajones to do it.
All in all people just remember don't F**k with people that handle your food.
Great, now we have idiots like you threatening the very people who help you collect a paycheck.
Listen I am waiting my way through college and believe me, I am not an idiot. The basic point I am trying to make is that you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I love my job sometimes. I love making
people feel good on their first date or their 50th wedding anniversary. I like people. Let's get one thing straight here bitch if you ever think my job comes before my dignity and self respect you are mistaken. If you are stupid enough to treat me like dirt, you are getting some special salad dressing. If you treat people with respect and dignity you don't have a problem. But you, you have definately had a few pube salads.
Come on, really? That is what you think?
At times a server doesn't even get a paycheck. Sometimes, because of the taxes they pay and/or deductions, servers must pay in additional money to cover the taxes rather than get a check. Many restaurants automatically tax servers on 10% or more of each customers bill regardless if they were tipped or not. So if you leave them nothing they are actually loosing money to serve. you.
Also when they do side work, like clean, stock supplies and getting the store ready for the next shifts business they still make just $2something an hour.
Wow, all the nasty names and even more threats and you know NOTHING about me. I suggest you take a nice little vacation to a round room with padded walls before you hurt yourself. Tsk tsk!
Now hear THIS, you nasty pig – I don't give a rat's a$$ about who you are and why you are a "server" (and I'm using that term loosly). Do your goddamned job and do it right and you'll eliminate 99% of your problems. Yes you are going to have customers that you just can't please but I am not one of "them". I am probably TOO forgiving when it comes to problems in restaurants. Your attitude indicates that you need a new line of work. And if, by god, you are ever caught doing the things you mention in your little diatribe, you better have a good lawyer lined up to save your a$$ from a huge lawsuit from your customers AND your employer.
Melissa – I am an above-average tipper because I DO understand how much servers get paid; the whole tipping structure is completely unfair to all involved. But, and I've stated this before, how restaurants run or the pay structures of the employees are not really a customer's concern. What I mean is this: The tipping structure is unfair and now I'm supposed to tip extra just because a server's pay is lousy? It's not a good situation for anyone to be in, but I do sympathize.
But this gal, Mary, is just horrible. If her comments accurately reflect her feelings and attitude, then I feel very sorry for anyone who encounters her.
YES, you're suppose to tip more because the server's pay is lousy. This is not a restaurant to restaurant thing, this is a country to country thing. Servers in America are only paid $2-$3 per hour, because it is customary to tip servers in America. If this were not the case, servers would be covered under minimum wage laws. Furthermore, if restaurants paid servers more, you would be paying more for your entrees. This is ignorance at its finest.
Why are customers so particular about what their servers say? You're not a food critic, so why not relax and enjoy yourself. If you're at a four diamond restaurant paying $40+ an entree then you will receive the type of service you pay for. Ruby Tuesdays won't roll out the red carpet and seat you in their VIP section for the $7.99 burger special, so why would your service expectations increase. As a former server I would like you to climb down from your ivory tower with us common folk and enjoy your meal. Bon Appetit!!
My biggest issue when it comes to dining out: the tipping system.
Tipping should not be based on the total amount of the bill. I could go to a mid-range restaurant, get incredible service and a $50 bill, and my 20% tip would come out to $10. Then I could go to a "fine dining establishment", get sub-par service and a $100 bill and 10% of the bill would be exactly the same – $10. Incredibly unfair.
Ignorant to absurdity.
The number of tables a waiter has at a fine dining establishment and a family style chain is different. Tipouts are larger at more expensive places because of the added support staff.
Just shut up and go with the culture. The culture has been established by market forces, which are obviously smarter than you are.
You need to realize that tip-outs are based on percentage. If I have a table with a bill of $50 versus $100, the amount of the tip that I have to turn around and give to my bartenders and bussers is very different.
compelling CNN news here...
Wow....talk about whining....all these servers and ex-servers viciously attacking people who are just airing their personal pet peeves.....and then THREATENING to foul our food if we don't BEHAVE.
You know, your right, dining out IS a privilege. It is a privilege I earned by spending the MONEY. Eating at a restaurant is an ECONOMIC CONTRACT between the establishment and the patron. If servers get monumentally screwed by the industry, it really isn't our fault. Tips are supposed to be earned.
I sympathize with server's predicaments, and I tip average with average to below average service, and generously with even a modicum of good service. But, I refuse to be REQUIRED to tip well, and the threat of screwing with my food doesn't make me want to tip more out of fear.....it shouldn't be a tithe.
Why don't waiters get this one simple concept? No lady wants to be the only one at the table left eating. So if I finish first, don't clear my dishes until she is done as well. The waiters look at me like I'm nuts when they try to take my plate away and I have to tell them not yet.
my boyfriend always orders diet coke, but i hate it and always order regular (non-diet) coke. yet every time, without fail, they put the diet coke in front of me. are you assuming i'm concerned with my weight because i'm a woman, or are you trying to tell me that i should be?
I worked a drive thru for 1 day and that was enough. I waited tables for 3 months at a place that did kids pizza parties and had go-carts; quit after getting chicken pox at 17. I worked in retail for 8 years and at a concession stand in a movie theater for a summer. My thing is I really don't want my food spit on or rubbed on body parts that I don't dare to mention, this really happens, so I try to be as nice as I can when dining out. I however will speak up if the server is truly rude like when I send pancakes back for being undercookd, liquid in the center, and the waitress puts the plate in my face and cuts the pancake up and tells me there is nothing wrong with them. I don't care if you squat at my table to take my order, it does make me a little uncomfrotable if you sit. If the waiter/waitress takes my order then goes MIA until after I finish my food then I will not tip. I had someone tell me that she refuses to tip if you bring her 5 ones in her change. This is a bit extreme. I don't want to have to wait for my server to come back to break the change they just gave me, its rude.
"Are you still working on that?"
The waiter would probably not ask the question if you had proper dining etiquette. When you're done with your entre, did you place your cutlery together on a 10-4 angle with the knife facing inwards? If you did, the waiter would know you're finished. If you didn't then the waiter has to ask if you are indeed still eating.
I don't get it. I don't get paid extra when I do a good job at a presentation. I don't have to tip the assistants who help me reach a sweater on the top shelf at GAP, and then dig out a particular color in my size. The cooks at the restaurants don't get tips. They're the ones frikkin making the food and keeping the place in business !!! How dare the serving staff DEMAND 20-30% tips ??? Please tell me how you are entitled to $20 on a $60 bill ?? Yes, I do agree that a 10-12% goes a long way towards making them not spit in your food, but sorry, you have NO right to demand. If we feel we were taken care of, we'll tip. Don't expect it as a birthright.
Sue we work for tips. I make 2.13/ an hour. That's just to cover my taxes. I pay my bills with tips. I don't get a check on friday or thursday. I have a college degree and I'm still waiting tables. Everyone else you mentioned gets paid a wage or salary. The reason waiters work for tips is because if we didn't then your service would decline .If I was paid by the hour trust me, I would care a lot less if about whether or not you got your salad exactly like you liked it. Go to a European diner where they don't work for tips. See how you are treated. When you come back to America you'll appreciate the service.
Bottom line. If you can't afford to tip 15 to 20%, STAY HOME.
"The cooks at the restaurants don't get tips. They're the ones frikkin making the food and keeping the place in business"
Cooks are paid for their work in salary or hourly wage for example just a line cook starts at $9-12 an hour and don't require any formal training. Just a prep cook who mops the floor makes more money then servers do. The federal minimum wage is $7.25 but also can be more depending on the state. Servers make between $2-3 an hour because it is the expectations of management that they will be tipped approximately 15% of each table served. Some restaurants tax servers for 10% or more of their customers orders regardless if they get tipped or not. In other words if you do not tip the server at a restaurant where this is their policy you are actually taking money from them after they make a lousy $2 something an hour. The standard tip of 15% for the $60 order you gave an example of is only $9. Great service would be 20% which is $12, and extraordinary service with a tip 25% is $15. Also, servers tip out other employees who help them put the orders together and bussers so they don't even keep all the tip money for themselves.
If you can't afford to tip those who's job it is to serve you, maybe you should rethink eating out to begin with. Also, if a server has done a terrible job inform the manager don't just leave nothing. A bad server can't improve if they don't know what they are doing wrong.
Also, another note, a server doesn't even get a paycheck. Sometimes, because of the taxes they pay and/or deductions, servers must pay in additional money to cover the taxes rather than get a check. Also when they do side work, like clean, stock supplies and getting the store ready for the next shifts business they still make just $2something an hour.
How old are you? How do you not know serving wage is $2-$3/hour?? It only covers our taxes! I can work a 40 hour week and my paycheck will be $60! Wow!
I find it irritating when servers assume I won't tip well/will leave a mess/will be rowdy because I have a toddler. Please give a table a chance before you decide it's not worth your time. I frequently overtip and even pick up food from under the table before I leave. And for the person who said a server never forgets the face of a bad tipper: I know that which is why I always tip even when the service totally sucks. And then I just walk away angry with myself for rewarding someone for not doing his/her job. Seems many servers expect the tip when, in fact, it should be a bonus for good service. I waited tables and didn't expect something extra if I knew I wasn't doing my job well. Yep, some people are difficult to deal with, but it's the same with all jobs. Just do your job the best you can – what happened to work ethic? – and look for something else if you hate food service so much.
I have been in and out of the industry for 16 yrs. I definitely have a love/hate relationship with the industry. In the right establishment the job can be fun and challenging. One of the best things I have learned from working in the industry is body language and learning to read people's personalities to know what type of experience they are looking for. Some tables I can walk up to with a big smile and know that they are going to be fun and are looking to not only enjoy the company of their friends but also mine. Others you tone it down and just be a “server.” However, it is mainly this type of table that hates to be interrupted that will be the first to complain that I never checked to see if the steak was cooked correctly therefore you were FORCED to eat a steak at the wrong temperature. However if you remember Mr. Customer, I stood at the end of your table patiently waiting to be acknowledged so that I can ask you if your steak was cooked to your liking. So now I am not only going to get a small, if any tip, but you have successfully turned me into a STALKER of your table. My mother taught me that it is polite to wait until others are done talking before I speak however she also taught me that it is also polite to acknowledge others around me. And even though I am pretty astute, I AM NOT A MIND READER. There are certain questions that I have to ask to ensure that you have an enjoyable meal. There is just no other way around it.
Also, the law is the law... If I ask to see your ID, it is because I have to. It's fine that you can recite your own birthday without reading it on a card however, the law states I have to see it, compare it to the wonderful picture you took, AND check the expiration date. It's great that you have been 21 yrs old for 3 weeks and how dumb of me not to be able to see that in your face. I guess I should just take everyone's word for it because nobody under 21 ever tries to order an alcoholic beverage right??!! If I served you and you did not have a VALID ID and somebody from the state walks in, I – NOT YOU, but I will get in trouble. I have bills to pay just as you or your parents do. If your parents or yourself would like to pay my electric, mortgage, car payment, insurance, cell phone etc... then I would GLADLY serve you an drink without a VALID ID. Please do not sit at my bar and balk about not being served, loud enough that my other customers hear about what a nut I am for not seeing that your barely 21 year old self is actually of age. Usually my other customers are very thankful that I didn't serve you so they didn't have to hear your mouth all night the more inebriated you get. You really are only embarrassing yourself. Just an FYI
CNN article beating on waiters and fastfood workers making minimum wages and tips. That's low. I bet the waiters and fastfood workers have stories and pet peeves to tell but they have to take the abuse with a smile on their faces. They have no recourse and many times are overworked because management tried to save on labor. Lots of illegal actives going on in fastfood business from no breaks to working extra time with no pay. Done it for 25 years and glad to be out of it.
WORK IS HARD. This is why you get paid to do it. If it wasn't it would be called "fun" and people would do it for free. I'm sorry if you feel like your job as a server sucks - but if you don't do a good job you aren't entitled to a good tip. There is no such thing as a 20% MINIMUM. I don't care if your wages are 2 bucks an hour - if you want better wages, i.e. better tips, than do a better job. If i went to my job everyday and acted like an jerk and did the bare minimum and then still demanded that my boss give me a raise, I'd be regarded as an idiot and probably get fired.
I'm always willing to tip well over 20% for good service - but I hate the idea that I should pay somone for a job they didn't do because I'm supposed to be sympathetic towards their personal career decsion. I don't go around handing construction workers twenty dollar bills just because thier job is difficult and I can't possibly understand what a day in thier shoes is like.
It's my money, I earned it. Now earn yours.
I use to think that way. Work hard for fair wages. That's in a perfect world. Fast food worker work hard and get minimum wages and no tips. They have to stay pass time with no pay and have pay deducted if the register is short. Don't assume that the fast food work place is all legal and above board. It isn't.
We really don't have a problem with people like you. We really don't have a problem working hard. We have a problem working hard for morons and then getting stiffed (which actually costs us money, as we still have to tip out on our gross sales for the night). I bet that's never happened to you. Go to work, work hard, then have to pay your boss.
Teddy. I'm sure that if you got a flat tire before you went to work or maybe woke up with a headache and went to work a little annoyed or grimaced all day you would still get paid the same salary that you get paid. You go to work everyday and whether your in a great mood or in a lousy one your paycheck looks pretty much the same. Not a server. There is no guarentee that your pay will ever be the same. You could wait on a man dining alone who is very generous and give you $100 buck on a $30 tab. It's happened to me plenty of times. Then you can wait on a table of 10 with a tab over over a few hundred and walk away with $50. You could have done everything right but they just don't believe in tipping over a certain amount or they just came out with enough to eat and not think twice of the person serving them and the 4 other people who need to be tipped out at the end of the night. If you don't know what it takes to perform a specific job shut up. I'm so sick of people complaining about a luxury. If you have enough money to be eating out life is good relax. Unless something has been served incorrectly or the server is rude. Just open your mouth to put food in it and chew. Oh and out of the 10 years I've been serving I've had only minor complaints when I was just starting out because it takes time to learn how to uber multi task. Now I actually have people wait to have me as their server. So some people actually do come out to socialize other than just eat good food. So I may seem rude about my complaints but its rude to assume that your the keeper of all things hospitality. Get over yourself.
I had a surprising experience in the Starbuck's drive-through the other day. I wanted to order some of their new mini desserts, which were displayed on the sign with the price options (something like 1 for 30 cents or 3 for $1). I asked the lady if I could have one of each and she actually laughed at me and said, "no, sweetheart, only the donuts." Flustered, I asked why the scones weren't included if they were all the same price, to which she again laughed at my stupidity and said "The scones you have to order separate, sweetheart." No explanation, dripping condescension, and "hon" is one thing but SWEETHEART?? I should have just driven away. Made my stomach turn.
Recently at dinner, I ordered a "Scotch and water". No problem. Later during the meal, I asked for another. When the bill came, the first drink was charged at $8.00 and the second at $14.00. WHen I questioned that, the server went into a long explanation about short pour and long pour, yadda, yadda. I politely asked that I be charged the same for the second drink as I was for the first drink. When I asked the host about this upon leaving, he gave me a TOTALLY diff explanation of the discrepancy...."You must have asked for Scotch and a splash". Ummm...no I didn't. But I didn't penalize the waiter for this in his tip. I did leave this restaurant knowing that when I come back (good food), I will watch this carefully. But they have no placed a doubt in my mind.
I would really hate to dine with these whiners!
As a server, I would like to see the following guest behavior be "86'd. This list is but ten things I can think of. I, as well as others, could list more.
1. Please remember that your reservation does not guarantee you the best seat in the house; everyone wants those tables. Do not make a scene. You will always be given the best seat available.
2. As a part of my job, I have to ask you, "Sparkling, Still or Tap?," Please do not answer,"City's Finest" or "The Mayor's water." We have heard this a million times; it's still not funny.
3. The first thing you order from me should not be bread; really.
4. When I approach your table, please do not treat me as if I am invisible. If you are not needing me, its OK to say so.
5. When I give our verbal additions, please refrain from making faces or pantomiming illness; it's inappropriate.
6. When ordering, please order from our menu; not something combining ingredients from four different dishes. A lot of time and forethought went into each dish; unless it will kill you or make you seriously ill, be like Mikey and try it.
7. Never, ever take something off the tray I am carrying. This happens a lot; the result is almost always disastrous. Odds are I have another shirt in my locker. Odds are you do not.
8. Please refrain from snapping your fingers, whistling at me or tugging at my person while I'm at another table to get my attention. Please show some patience; while I will treat you like you are my only table, you are not.
9. When I come to clear the table, please do not point to your empty plate and say, "I hated it." If you like your meal, please say so. It's OK.
10. Please do not joke about my tip; it is how I make my living. Also your verbal tip ("Great Job!") will not pay my bills. If you enjoyed yourselves, show me the money!
Lastly, remember that most of us servers want show you a nice night out. We understand you are spending your hard earned money and we want you to always feel like it was worth it.
As a server too, I've gotta say, I can't agree with #4. People go out to eat to enjoy their company, not just the food and the restaurant. And the company doesn't necessarily include their waiter. People shouldn't be expected to drop their conversation just because the server is nearby. That said, when I approach a table to refill water/etc. and the table ignores me, I have a harder time taking any later complaints about food very seriously.
I would like to see the author of this article attempt one single night on the floor during the rush on an 8 table section. Forget that, how about just a 4 table section? Whiny B#*ches. All of them can just stay at home. So glad I'm gonna retire from this job and away from all the mundane, snippy, hoity-toity, ketchup-on-the-steak, kid-bringing, rude, smelly, fumbling, mumbling, drink spilling, non-tipping asshats that make their way out every night just because they want to bitch at something. Why not take your daily frustrations out on some stranger at your local eatery? Thanks. Ass
We've all paid our dues when we were young by working entry-level jobs. If we acted like this generation of self-indulgent spoiled brats, we would all be sleeping under park benches now. No, instead we accepted the difficulties of the midnight shift at Jack-in-the-Box, or the grocery bagger during the week before Thanksgiving, or the lawn guy who is suddenly responsible for the dead shrubbery that the cheapskate refused to water. We sucked it up like you servers should and went on to get better jobs. So PAY YOUR FRIGGIN DUES
Whoa there. You really are a vicious cat huh? Is it really fair for you to pigeon-hole an entire generation? I work well over 60 hours a week to make ends meet, 40 hours at a restaurant and 20 in a retail store. I'm 24 years old and I wish I had the money to continue my education but I had to drop out of college to support myself, and well, there isn't much of a market for historians in this economy. Every person that I know within my age group is busting their ass to pay the bills, usually working two or more jobs, so maybe you could shut your face and get off your high horse.
Jan- Your "pay your dues" rant was both unintelligent and rude. Do not talk about servers as though they are stuck in this "entry-level" job and they need to get out of it, just like you supposedly did. In undergrad, I went to a Big Ten School, especially known for its academics, I worked 2 jobs- one serving job-, volunteered twice a week, held two internships (all at the same time mind you), and graduated early with honors in both of my majors. I am now in law school. This week, I have worked both my serving job and my professional job, and volunteered. I've put in over 40 hours already, and I have 4 more shifts to go until Sunday night.
As hard as I work, I know my fellow servers are usually working just as hard, often times supporting a family. To say that servers need to pay their dues and get on with it is degrading. Most likely, yes, I will not be serving in 20 years, but I will never look down upon someone who does not choose the same path I have. It sounds to me that you need to keep your judgments in check. Yes, entry-level positions are not the best, but 1) serving is not an entry-level position, and 2) regardless, everyone deserves kindness and respect.
Hey. Before you go slamming an entire generation, remember; it was your generation that raised them.
Commenters with experience in serving have definitely shed some light on some issues....BUT, that doesn't mean they're not still annoying. You go out to eat for fun, brief escape from cooking in your own home, and perhaps to have a conversation if you're there with someone. Of all of the pet peeves, the 'checking-in' every 5 minutes thing really does irk me. Yes you can say that a server will check in before you've taken a bite of food to see if you need another drink or any condiments, napkins, etc. And you can say they check in 5 minutes later to see if everything is good. But if we're 30 minutes into a meal and I haven't remember to ask for ketchup, it's my own darn fault!
Good service I had recently, and we let them know this, was by servers who were able to walk by and do a cursory glance to see if anyone was running low on anything, or seemed to need something. This they did often, but they only stopped by perhaps a couple of times after we'd been served our meals. And this was a busy, downtown Chicago restaurant.
Also...I always try to tip well, but I believe it's based on the actual level of service. So no, I will not tip 20%, simply because it's considered the standard, if the service is poor.
Then don't bitch when you get poor service.....we remember those who don't tip.
If the service is TRULY poor, and if it's clear that it's the waiter's fault (he/she is always hanging out near the front or near the kitchen gossiping with the rest of the staff, he/she is blatantly rude, etc.) I don't tip at all, and I do inform the manager. Do keep in mind, however, that "poor service" is often not the fault of the server. Many of the things people here complain about can also be chalked up to restaurant policy, to a slow/inept kitchen staff, to short-staffing in the dining room...even to differing cultural norms! (where I live, for example, we say "you guys" in the same way southerners say "y'all"...it's not meant to imply that all the people at the table are male. And it's quite culturally appropriate for a southern woman to refer to another person as "hon," regardless of age. If you're in a casual restaurant, expect a casual, colloquially appropriate form of address!).
If the service is adequate, however, do remember that most waiters are paid less than minimum wage, and are expected to make up the bulk of their salaries in tips (which often must be split with other staff members as well). Personally, I'd prefer to see restaurants required to pay at least minimum wage, and to see tips become the true gratuities they're intended to be, but I don't see the industry changing any time soon.
Have you notice that the waiter will come back after you have been eating for a minute and they ask "How is your food so far?". I want to say "Well right now it taste fine but I am expecting it to taste like crap in a few minutes". Do the waiters really listen to what they saying?
I've worked at 3 different restaurants. Each one has required what is called a "two-bite check back." We are, hypothetically, after the diner takes two bites, ask how everything is tasting. While I try to space it out, am I required to ask right away
2 things that women can say that can instantly make the less attractive: "whew" and "whatever"
Oh, and the writer of the blog sounds like a member of the sex-and-the-city crew, B-team.
word.
That's the EXACT same thing I thought! Sarah Jessica Parker and her pack of over-the-hill superficial hags! God curse them all!
Most of you are indigent, obnoxsious, jerks. The dame wait people are usually getting paid $2 an hour and what every scrimppy tips you leave. Most are students who are usually half starving. You people must think you are royalty. Do you want them to shine your shoes and wipe your bottoms in the restrooms too? I leave 3X the tax for a time unless the person was disgustingly horrible, give them a break or they will start spitting in your food and doing other horrible things to it before you get it.
Three times the tax is either reasonable or unreasonable depending on where one lives. In my home state the meal tax (sales tax) is over 8%. I've tipped 24% plenty of times in my life, but I don't think that should be an expectation.
Maybe you should direct your scorn towards your employers and not your customers. Its not their fault your boss doesn't pay you enough. Its not all about you.
No, it's all about you. You arrogant fuck.
I was a waitress for a couple of years and I never forget it when I go out to eat. It is a tough job, and each diner has different likes and dislikes. One person might want you to check in constantly because they're somewhat needy (need more water, can I get a side of ranch?, more napkins, etc.). Another might be low maintenance and prefer to flag you down when they need something. You honestly never can tell and any one person can be different each time they come in depending on their mood, their plans for after their meals, how hungry they are, and so on. As both a waitress and a diner, I hate it when a diner responds to "how is everything?" with something like "it tastes funny". Upon being prompted for more info or asked if they want something else they just suddenly start acting like there's nothing wrong with it. Just because its not the best soup you've ever had doesn't mean you have to make everyone feel awkward about it by bringing up that its not good and then eating it anyways. Obviously its not that horrible. Another peeve – people who say their coffee is ice cold when there is visible steam coming out of it. Just because they've scalded away all their taste buds and nerve endings doesn't mean the server should have to boil the coffee just to make sure its heated to their liking. If you want your coffee hotter (and saliva free), be a human being about it and say: "Sorry to be a pain, but I like my coffee very hot – would you mind heating it up for me?". Similarly, the people who complain that they can tell its not a fresh pot. Well guess what – restaurants do not make a pot of coffee for each person therefore you can't always have the first cup of the pot. If you're picky about it and you don't like it, politely indicate that you would appreciate a fresh pot and that you're willing to wait for it. I don't blame people for getting fed up with servers when they are clearly more interested in gossiping with co-workers than doing their job or when its just plain clear they're not trying very hard. But 9 out of 10 servers are busting their butts and doing their best. How people treat these waiters is actually an excellent judge of their character. I honestly don't want to know someone who treats their servers like their only purpose in life is to cater to them and be able to read their mind. Those people obviously forget they are not the center of the universe. If you don't enjoy your dining experience, fine. But keep your mouth shut about it and go somewhere else the next time. Waiters/Waitresses take the blame for every negative thing about a restaurant. If the kitchen messes up an order, the server is blamed. If someone thinks the music is too loud or the restaurant's too hot/cold, the server is blamed. If the server is insanely busy because their boss is too cheap to pay another waiter, people say "God, that waitress was terrible!". The truth is there are people who love going out to eat because being waited on makes them feel important or superior and mistreating the wait staff for every little imperfection just makes them feel more superior. The sad thing is most of these people will never figure out that their delusions of grandeur are, in fact, delusions. Good people don't get off on making other people feel small.
I just have to add my favorite GOOD waiter story:
Several years ago, my husband and I were eating at a chain steakhouse. Our waiter - a woman in her 40s - was just wonderful: Friendly, polite, attentive without being obtrusive, knowledgeable about the menu, ready and able to go to bat with the kitchen over our dietary questions (my husband has a few serious food allergies, and in the 1980s, it was often difficult to get the kitchen to take you seriously. We'd had chefs tell us "no, there's no seafood in that" only to have my husband get a serious reactlon" and to hear "well, I didn't think that a little clam stock would count as seafood!" Yes, seriously).
Anyway, this woman was just wonderful, and on top of everything, had a smile that just lit up the place. She made our evening. My husband had just gotten a small bonus, and we were in one of those "random acts of kindness" moods, so we left all the change on the table, which amounted to nearly a 75% tip (and no...we're good tippers, but not usually THAT good. It was just one of those special occasions when you feel like making someone else happy). As we walked our to our car, we heard someone calling us. It was our waiter, running out with our "change." We said "Oh no...that's for you." She said "But there's more than '$X here...that's too much!" We said "It's not too much. You made our evening. Thank you."
I don't know who she is, or even remember the name of the steakhouse, but I hope we made her evening a little more special, as she did ours
Let's add the seating arrangements to the list.
You walk into a restaurant and there are tables available everywhere.
Where do they try to sit you?
Right next to the only other diners in the restaurant.
I don't care if the server has to walk a few extra stetp to get to me, I do NOT want to be jammed next to someone I don't know.
They try and do it EVERY SINGLE TIME.
ASK FOR ANOTHER TABLE STUPID
Exactly! Everyone is just a big whiner now days
I do, as shole
I'm sure you ask like a fucking cunt.
Go fuck yourself since it's obvious no one else would.
Servers have sections that they work... each server in most corporate restaraunts have 3-4 tables per section. If it is a slow time during the day they may allow for only 1 or 2 servers and therefore all patrons are placed in the same general area.
Did you go to NFHS?
You walk into a busy deli-style restaurant. They are very busy. They seat the two of you at a 4-chair table, then after you've ordered and are enjoying your salad, they seat 2 more people at YOUR table. WTF???? No tip and no return!!
We had dinner at an Italian restaurant that actually had an Italian waiter. We ordered Zabaione for dessert and he made it tableside – heating a copper vessel containing marsala, egg yoks, sugar over a flame. Each step of the way we said wow, or complimented his skill. When we were done we said it was the best we ever had. He made another one for us with a big smile gratis.
When is it ever a mistake to be courteous and express gratitude – even if they are "getting paid for it"?
'When it is ever a mistake to be courteous and express gratitude – even if they are "getting paid for it"'
Could not have said it better – you honestly can't go wrong treating people the way you'd like to be treated in their position. And being nice usually gets you a lot farther than being a jerk.
ARGH FEED ME THE FOOD I WANT RIGHT NOW!@##$ IM GOING TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB RARGH!@#$ IM A WOMAN & I EAT MEATS & DRINK BEERS ROAR!
Seriously darlin' (yeah, I'm from the south.. don't like it? go up north) I'm surprised you still go out to eat because it seems as though you get choking mad when anyone does anything that might step on your little twinkle toes. You must be under the impression that these servers are independent workers with their own set of rules.. most places (if not all) tell you that you have to great people a certain way & within a time frame. They encourage them (if not straight up make it mandatory) to visit a table X amount of times. If your beverage is less than half full they could get reprimanded. These people are doing THEIR JOB.. If you don't like the restaurant dining experience then may I suggest take out? ordering in? or maybe cooking for yourself?
awesome.
PeteH you suddenly appear to have stopped your negative, disrespectful, out-of-line cursing profanity-lade commetns?!? WUWT?? are you drunk now back in your trailer in Georgia?? LOL!
I've posted a few intelligent comments, you just have to sift through and find them.
My pet peeve is the server clearing plates before everyone is finished eating. My husband eats faster than me. Taking his plate makes me feel like I have to hurry. He will often try to stop the server from clearing until everyone is finished if he can.
If a manager walks by and sees a empty plate that hasn't been cleared, regardless of who else is eating, you can be in trouble.
Pre-bussing is part of the job
Depends on the type of restaurant. Neighborhood diners and Applebees-style family restaurants, sure. But at slightly more upscale non-chain restaurants, this is often no the case. I think patrons need to adjust their expectations to the type of establishment they've chosen.
I totally agree. "Pre-bussing" is tacky. I don't know who came up with that but the plates should be left until everybody is finished. Nobody still enjoying their meal wants to look at (and hear) the waiter cleaning up plates from somebody else that has finished eating.
Pre-bussing is required at most restaurants, and I've never worked at one in which I wouldn't get griped at by a manager if I didn't pre-bus. When I've been exceptionally busy and haven't had time to pre-bus my tables, I've had people complain that they want their empty plates taken away. Why would you want to sit at a messy table covered with empty plates, napkins, and dirty silverware? If I'm eating at a restaurant and I've finished my food, I definitely prefer to get that plate out of my way. If it's SO important to you, tell the server you'd rather keep your bare plate. They'd be happy to oblige.
So here's the thing everyone, if you haven't waited tables you haven't seen the darkest side of humanity. There is a unique bond between every person in this country who has ever waited tables. Chances are half the people writing these complaints are the people that servers want to strangle. Let me guess, we have a few water no ice with lemon drinkers. Waiting tables can be great, you make a lot of friends and a lot of
money but let's clear some things up.
1. It is unacceptable for people to eat for
more than two hours, especially when we are busy. The less tables I get the less money I make so unless you plan to tip me like two tables get up, we aren't starbucks.
Water, no ice...I actually had someone order water, no ice once, and then complain that the water was warm! Some people can't ever be pleased.
I agree with Beth. I have always noticed that I get worse service if I am dining alone.
If the worst thing that happens to you is a waiter has crouched at your table so he can hear you, count yourself lucky.
Every time you want to complain because your dressing isn't on the side or your appitizer isn't there in four munites, ask yourself if any of your children died while you were waiting.
A little perspective goes a long way.
Three clues your not getting a tip:
Do the sodas come with refills.
When's the bread coming out.
And my favorite....coming up to you in the back of the resteraunt, palming a bill in your hand and telling you what a great server you are, then the bill is Five on a Seventy Dollar Check.
STOP complaining and nitpicking. Waiters and waitresses have a tough job and if they're swamped it's impossible for them to be everything to everybody. We all know bad service when we get it, but to nitpick over service that was less than perfect is to fail to understand that you are not the only person in the world (or restaurant). Reading this just made me want to smack whoever wrote it in the face.
AMEN!!! These people need to get a life and stop picking on waitstaff...they're job sucks because it's dependent on strangers' willingness to tip.
It always bugs me when waiters walk up to your table and just interrupt, "How is everything?" How rude! Can't they stand back and watch for an opportune moment? The good ones do. Good manners shouldn't be reserved for only white tablecloth restaurants. But it seems those employed by casual dining establishments typically behave the same – interruptions galore.
What a bunch of whiners! Stay home! These people work for tips and are trying to give good service. Have you been to a restaurant in another country where tipping is not common? The servers really couldn't give a damn about you. I'll take American servers any day! THANKS to all you servers who work long and often late hours to make our dining experience a pleasure!
Not everyone "works" for their tips, and that's partially the point of this article. I, too, have pet peeves when it comes to restaurants (and other places/things) but will always tip appropriately based on the service received. I've never been a waitress and have no interest in doing so; however, i fully understand that it's often a back-breaking, thankless job and I do appreciate folks in ANY profession who do their job and earn an honest buck.
I think EVERYONE should wait a few tables and be able to experience the craziness of a busy kitchen... It would do them good!
About eating outside of the States.. I've been to Europe twice now (yes, thanks to my serving jobs), and the service was possibly the worst I have ever seen, each time. Once in Rome our server left us there with dirty plates, an empty bottle of wine, and without a check for over half an hour. If Americans switched to the European system of including tips in the bills, the country would go into shock. Food would take longer, drinks would go empty, that A1 for your steak?- forget about it! Trust me, tipped servers give much, much, much better service.
What an arrogant and ignorant response - from a waiter no less. You DO realize you have to ask for the bills here in Europe, right? I've lived in Europe 8.5 years and love the system here. No kowtowing, kiss-ass waiters bothering us. No "entitlement" tips. I tip what I feel is appropriate, a euro or so since service is already included. I have been to 30+ countries. Most wait staff are far better than their US counterparts even though we don't speak the same language. I despise US restaurants where you're trying to push us out the door just to get another table/tip. Yeah, that's real customer friendly!
I'm a solo diner and I HATE when I'm ignored because they know I'll be a less tip. I once waited 15 minutes for water just because my server was too busy hovering over a table of 8. To say the least, that server didn't need to worry about a tip from me.
I also hate waiting for the check. Often, I'll just get up, go find the sever, manager, seater, anybody and make sure they know I'm in need of a check. If it comes to that, often the server can expect little to no tip there as well.
I try to avoid eating out. It's expensive, it's frustrating, and it's not worth my time. The drive thru at McDonald's is nicer than most restaurant staffs I've encountered.
thanks, just stay at home next time.
Just get some friends, Beth.
you need to chillax lady... Of course the server's going to spend more time with a bigger party. 8 of them, 1 of you!!!!
The drive thru is where you belong my dear. Let me guess, you're huge.
I can't stand it when a waiter/waitress/server asks my wife and I "How are you guys tonight?" And "Have you guys decided yet?" I decided long ago to be a gentleman and my wife chose to be a lady. My wife doesn't look the least bit masculine and even if I was with a man it is still bad manners for a waiter to refer to his customers as "guys." If a server must refer personally to his mixed gender customers the preferred address, at least to this couple, would be the generic "folks." "How are you folks tonite?" Works for us.
It's a generational thing, Bill. No one means any disrespect.
Moron.
I agree with you Bill. I hate being referred to as "you guys" when I go to a restaurant, store or any public place with my family. These are usually teenagers who are a lot younger than us. Where I grew up you referred to your elders as maam or sir. My 26 year old daughter, wo looks young for her age, is constantly offered a kiddie menu in restaurants. Don't assume she is a child. And don't ask me what she wants, as her.
Typically, I say "y'all" when addressing a table, but rarely I slip and say "guys." If I am speaking to a person individually I say "Sir" or "Ma'am" PLEASE don't get so offended! I've been yelled at for saying ma'am, "Don't call me that! Do I look old to you? Huh?" I've been yelled at for saying Y'all, "Are you some kind of hick?" I've been yelled at for saying guys, "Does my wife look like a man to you? Are you trying to call her a man?" I'm just serving you, I am not out to get you, I am not sitting back in the Evil Waitresses Lair plotting various ways to ruin your night, so order a double for your next round and stop trying to ruin mine.
I only half agree with the comment about refilling drinks when they are half full. A soda or a water is fine to refill at that level, but when someone has tea or coffee that has to be sweetend just right, it is very annoying to try to get that balance back after it has been refilled.
CLMTLady, sweetened coffee or tea is the sure sign of a corrupted and weak soul. Sorry.
I personally am a soda drinker... I am just relaying word from the customers I have had in the past... I try to take requests from diners and remember them for future use to ensure that my skills grow.
Also, from what you said most everyong in the south and east that love Sweet Tea are corrupt and weak? I find that hard to believe. HA!
BEST.
RESPONSE.
EVER.
I NEVER NEVER tip when the female waitress refills my husband's coffee cup and walks away without refilling mine.
I hate that. It's like I don't rate the same kind of service he gets.
Sounds like you're the type of person who looks for an excuse not to tip. Learn to cook and stay home.
What is everyone's problem with asking, "do you need change?" Often the money is inside of a check presenter (I don't have x-ray vision) or stacked up in bills and you can't tell how much is there. The guest knows if it is all there or if they want change, it is my job to attend to their restaurant needs. You told me your order, tell me if you need change. If you need change it is another step to service that I must do. On busy shifts, I don't particularly want to find the $3.74 in change for the $20 you left just to see you leave it on the table. Then I have essentially wasted a minute on this task.
What is wrong with a simple yes, no, or even a slight hand gesture?
Not a mind reader...... jerk
The funny thing is if you talk to any server they still believe that they are entitled to AT LEAST 20% of the bill. I know people who are servers and when asked why they deserve 20% they always state that something really bad can happen to your food if you don't tip 20%. Really? Someone should expose these degenerate HS dropouts...
20%? No joke, I would be thrilled with a solid 12% from everyone. As far as the dropout degenerate comment...that's pretty harsh. Most of the servers you see are only servers to pay for the college they are currently attending. And one other thing, go fuck yourself.
You'd be thrilled with 12%? So on a $50 check, you'd be happy with $6.25? Or how about even a $20 check? $2.10 for all your hard work? I don't know any server who would be "thrilled" with 12% from every table.
I work in a small area where we go to the same lunch places repeatedly. If I had good service or an especially well cooked burger, I ask for the manager and I tell them that my server was terrific and food was great, and I say it loudly so a few of the other workers can hear. Always the same exact tip, 20% to the penny. You do that a few times at your regular places and you'll become a favorite customer. Works very well.
As a waiter with over a decade of experience and far more time in the service industry I must correct a falsehood near the top of your gripe list. It is by no means impolite or improper for a waiter to ask if you have finished your meal. Not all people clean their plates and if you aren't eating there is either something wrong or you are most likely finished. It is however impolite to push your plate away while other guests at your table are still enjoying their entrees or when dining at a fine establishment.
Don't criticize waiters who work for corporate restaurants who kneel down to take your order. Most likely it is a corporate policy that is intended to make the guests feel more comfortable. If you don't like it, dine elsewhere. It is not the waiters fault.
And by the way.... The table doesn't belong to you. Waiters not only rely on a reasonable gratuity (15% means your cheap, less means you should stay at home) for good service, but also the ability to turn that table 2 or 3 times a shift. Don't misunderstand, you should not feel rushed, but if a restaurant has people waiting to dine and you are no longer eating, you should be walking. By holding a waiters table excessively you are robbing them of money to pay bills. If you want to chat, go to the bar or a coffee shop.
Agreed. Or, if you insist taking 3 hours to drink your coffee, please, by all means plan on leaving an extra tip for the time that you're sitting there.
I really enjoyed this entry!
It helped provide some light hearted laughter + comic relief + learning of different perspectives during my work day!
good job, CNN blog! :)
I had to laugh at the "hon" remark, as that is so true! If you are younger than me, you don't call me "honey" if your a girl. Period. That is just a matter of respect. The older woman can use the term, ONLY if it is cultural appropriate (your in the right region where the term is used often) and any young teen or 20-something, shouldn't be using it at all no matter where she is located. I've been a waitress too, so I don't feel nit-picking their serving behavior is justified. Most are making very little in income and MOST are overworked! Waiters often try to keep on top of things but often only can do this when things are slow (thus the reason they come back too often to ask how things are going). When things are rushed, they don't have time to come back and ask and they assume their earlier "checks" make up for the time they can't come. But the customer doesn't realize that and often doesn't tip well even if the waiter/ess was trying very hard. They don't realize that tips are PART of their income. Where I worked back in the 80's, we made only $2 an hour because the manager assumed TIPS would be part of our income. This was Friendly's......and people did not tip big when they went out to get dinner and ice cream. They treated the servers like a fast food restaurant. You can be sure most of the help left early because they couldn't live on the paycheck.
I've worked in restaurants all my adult life, from the most casual neighborhood joint to five-star, white glove properties. The business is fast-paced and stressful. Many restaurant employees may appear cynical and unconcerned, but you have to understand what a typical waiter endures in a day. I cannot emphasize how many snobby you-know-whats have ruined my day by condescending to me and treating me as if I were a mentally incompetent slave or servant. If you've never worked in a restaurant, you have no concept of how difficult and demanding the task management of serving 10 or 20 people simultaneously can be. Restaurant workers juggle many balls all day long. Be friendly and respectful to the person serving you your food, and I guarantee your meal will go more smoothly. Your waiter really wants you to enjoy your meal. It determines their income! So, please, be understanding–patient, if you must–and tip generously!
Another great reply! You said it!
Sounds like YOUR problem, not the wait staff. I have been a server for over 4 years now and I can say by now I am damn good it, but to do none of the things you just listed would be near impossible to do every time to every table, and I am willing to bet you would find other things if we got the 20, yes, 20 things right you complained about. Please please please eat at home... better for you... cheaper, and you wont have to deal with anyone serving you but yourself... but then complaining is half the fun right?
this post sucks
You said it right! People who complain either never waited tables or forgot what it was like!
don't complain about the food or the service. you're lucky to get either.
WHY would anyone be 'lucky' to get either. It is a product and a service, and they are paying money for it.
As a former server and bartender, I have had the distinct displeasure of working with people like "Brian" from the movie "Office Space"....I HATE servers that darn perky and with so much "flair". Just take my order, get it right and keep my glass full–simple, yet totally appreciated (and I do show that in the tip). I usually try to give my servers a "heads up" that I am not a high maintenance customer and that allows them to give me my space and peace while I'm eating and they usually seem grateful to know they don't have to worry about falling all over themselves to please me in hopes of a great tip. 99% of servers and bartenders do a fantastic job of dealing with all kinds of people–from the very kind to the very rude and ugly. We, as customers, would do well to remember that and have some compassion and patience, especially if you see the servers having a "problem table". Cut 'em a break.
I can't believe how easily people are bugged! A waiter can't possibly know up front if you prefer a more casual approach or a more formal approach, or if you don't want your water glass topped off every couple of minutes...he or she is going to do what the restaurant requires or what most of his/her customers have responded well to in the past.
I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've had truly bad service. Most waiters do their best to provide for their customers...those who don't don't last long in the business. When you don't like something a waiter does (unless he or she is out-and-out rude, or a total airhead), you might want to consider the constraints under which he or she is working. He/she may be following restaurant policy (that's often the case with the first-name thing, or with topping off water glasses or coffee cups, even if they're still mostly full..or even with the hovering that bothers so many people. If it bothers you, a POLITE word to the waiter is typically all it takes to fix it). He/she may be dealing with a slow kitchen. Perhaps other waiters called in sick, and he/she is having to cover twice as many tables as usual. None of that is the waiter's fault. Perhaps, if something bothers you, you can politely ask the waiter what's going on...9 times out of 10, if you ask POLITELY, you'll get an apology and a polite (and reasonable) answer.
On the other side of the coin, how often have you had EXCELLENT service and failed to thank the waiter? How often have you written a little note to the manager complimenting a waiter who went above and beyond? Waiting tables is a tough way to make a living, and a little appreciation from customers can go a long way toward making the job better (and often compliments from customers to the manager can help a really good waiter get promoted).
The bottom line is, waiters are human beings with a job to do. Yes, it's a job serving the public, so certain standards of politeness and efficiency are to be expected, but they aren't robots, servants or slaves, and they're certainly not psychic. Try cutting them a little slack and trying to see the whole situation...not just what's happening around your table.
How about when they bring back your change and don't bring all of it? If I give you $10 for a $6.97 bill, don't bring me just the $3. I want my 3 pennies, too. If you don't bring it back that will be your ONLY tip.
Hey Carla, here is a NEWS FLASH. 90% of restaurants don't supply their servers with cash registers. So guess what? We have to supply you with whatever change we have on our person. Sometimes–especially when I have eight tables and all of them are begging for more ranch or Dr. P or whatever–I just assume that you wouldn't want your three cents because MAYBE you'd notice how busy I was. But hey you can just keeping being the wonderful you that you are and keep being a cheapskate over three cents. Everyone knows you weren't going to tip to begin with. You just needed an excuse and you got it.
That, sir, is where you're wrong. I don't mind tipping for good service and I understand that servers make mistakes because we're all human. My problem is when they intentionally do it and don't explain there's not enough change in the register or whatever the case maybe. I just don't want them to assume I don't want a measely 3 pennies. I work just as hard for my money as I'm sure most of them do for theirs.
Grow up Carla
Wow! Lay off of Carla. I bet you've been the recipients of some low and well deserved tips. *insert eye roll*
Grow up Tim
If I were to buy something that required the business to give me 3 cents change (or whatever amount) and they didn't have 3 pennies to give to me, I would EXPECT them to give me a nickel and explain that they are out of pennies. Why in the world would ANY business intentionally short-change a customer, even if it's to the tune of a few pennies?
You may think it's rude, but I can tell you there have been a NUMBER of times in which I didn't have those 3 cents and it took me an extra 2 to 3 minutes to get ahold of a bartender or manager to open up a locked drawer and make change for me. All the while, I'm getting seated new tables who are waiting for drinks and said bartender or manager is rolling their eyes at me because they have a million more things to worry about. Even worse, when that happens and I finally get to my table, people scoff at the added time to receive their change. If I were to apologize and say I had to hunt down some pennies, they would laugh and ask why I would think they'd even want those 3 pennies. On the flip side, there have been MANY times in which I owed someone a few cents and didn't have it, so I've just given them an extra quarter or something of the sort. So it's not like your server is trying to sneak your change, it's just that (a) they may have forgotten or (b) they'd rather not get griped at for taking an extra 2 minutes to get your change, because they can ALREADY see you glaring across the table. Sometimes no matter how a server handles a situation, people are going to complain.
WHY>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Do they INSIST on sending some pimply-faced bus-boy out with my food before the server has a chance to make sure EVERYTHING is correct???????
Most food problems should be solved BEFORE the food reaches the table by actually checking the food against the order!!!
Unless the cook has put the burned side of the steak against the plate, most problems can/should be resolved BEFORE the server irritates the customer.
Destin -
You're absolutely correct, all problems should be resolved before the food is brought to the table, assuming the server properly rang in your order. However, as a server for more than 8 years, I can assure you that it is NOT necessarily the server's fault if the order is not correct when it hits the table. Often times in more upscale restaurants the servers actually tip-out food runners, whose sole responsibility is to run food orders to tables. MANY times, it's the runners that are incompetent and don't properly scan the order for errors before it's sent out. This is one of my biggest pet-peeves as a server. It makes me look like an idiot because you think it's my fault there's sauce on your filet or onions on your sandwich, when in fact, the wrong food was pulled for the order without my knowledge. Keep in mind, I have a plethora of other tables to wait on at the same time – I can't always be in the kitchen when your order is sent out to ensure it's 100% correct. If you wanted things that way you'd be waiting an extra ten minutes at least for your meal because I'm probably busy catering to a needy table while your food sits in the window. You can't always have it your way, I'm not Burger King...I'm a college-educated individual stuck waiting tables because this economy is horrible for recent grads.
I serve at one of the many corporate restaurants that dot the landscape of suburbia and consumer hubs throughout the nation. I hate my job. Mostly because of petty nonsense much like that espoused in the above article.
When many diners sit down to eat they already have a look of contempt on their face. It is as if they are just waiting for something negative to happen so that they may complain and whine when they don't get their Ribeye cooked both well done and tender.
Most people who eat food in America have no idea how restaurants work or how to cook even the most basic of food items. And of course they practice disgusting eating habits such as pouring ramekin upon ramekin of ranch onto salads.
We are human beings and we will make mistake–especially when you can't even explain how you want your hamburger yourself.
They way I see it, if you people have the time to b***h and moan about every little aspect of your dining experience, maybe you have the time to cook your own food and refill your own (sixth or seventh serving of) Diet Coke. You all disgust me.
Agree. You all disgust me. And America: all your servers hate you. Remember that when you go out to eat.
Thanks for the heads up. I shall print out your sage words and leave them, along with 45 cents for all my future tips
I already expect that from you Melissa. I am a server, nothing about humanity shocks me. And guess what, I know who the 45 cent tippers are before they sit down. I bet I could pick you out of a line up. And here's a hint, the stereotypes are almost always right.
They had a talk show address this issue a few years back. The daughter brought her mother to the talk show because her mom was rude to the servers. Basically, it came down to the mother didn't know what servers actually do, the amount of work and SLAVING they do to please the customer. You have managers barking at you, customers barking at you (and yes, they do, even about stupid things like 'where's the salt?!", despite the fact you make $2 an hour and are trying your best to smile and be nice even though your feet are killing you and your head hurts. People who wait tables are usually NOT there because they want to be. They would love to have a decent job, that paid decent money, doing something they like. Having been in the serving shoe, as well as the retail clerk shoe, I sympathize with every non-smiling employee and totally understand their position. If anything, the customer should be trying to cheer them up!
In fact, I remember one couple that gave me this little prayer card with their tip. It was a sweet poem and it lifted my heart. Their kindness made my whole night go smoother.
That was lucky, I don't know how many times I, or fellow servers used to get the prayer card instead of a tip. Like Jesus was your tip. Jesus doesn't pay the rent.
I've gotten plenty of those INSTEAD of tips as well. In fact, it seems that there are some created SPECIFICALLY to be given to waiters, because I've received a few that said something like "Here's a tip for you..." And then when you open it, it said something like "accept Jesus" and had religious information inside. I am a Christian. I'm fine with the prayer cards, but those that indirectly presume I haven't already accepted Jesus are (1) a bit too personal & rude, and (2) not going to pay my rent. Strangely enough, I've gotten those from some of my nicest tables, and I can't help but wonder if they just don't understand that the tips are not added to minimum wage, but make up the minimum wage since most servers make $2 an hour.
Some things I really appreciate from a waiter/waitress:
1) When they pull out my chair for me. Sure, this only happens with a waiter, not a waitress and I can move my own chair, but I just think it's a nice touch. Recently a restaurant manager also helped me put my coat on – really genial guy, I thought it was sweet (though I know plenty of crotchety people would be annoyed by this gesture as well, you can't please everyone).
2) Being nice from the get-go instead of saving any geniality for when you hand me the check (at which point many servers suddenly find a smile and thank you for coming in, etc. which seems really disingenuous).
3) When they actually seem knowledgeable about the menu – not just what's on the menu but what it tastes like, what people like about various dishes, etc. It makes me feel like I'm dealing with a higher caliber of server/restaurant.
4) When they don't rush you, even in subtle ways (clearing plates quickly, bringing the check the second you're done and saying 'no hurry though', etc.) It makes me feel relaxed and welcome, makes me feel I should definitely tip them extra, and makes me want to return another time.
Thank you for posting what you like about good service rather than what you hate about servers who are just trying to do their job! Seems like too many people just want to complain. Sad.
I know that the wait staff have very difficult jobs. My only pet peeve is when the server disappears for a long period of time, and when you see them and gesture to them they look past you like you're not even there!
Even if you're busy, please acknowledge me, I would be more than happy to wait as long as I know that you saw me and will be bringing the check, or refilling my drink as soon as you're able.
Finally, a sensible complaint. Clearly you have had some inept service. No matter how busy a server is they always have time for a quick, "I'll be right with you"
News flash...your Waiters usually don't like you. They probably hate you...and they should. Not ALL of you but certainly you complaining Yuppie-Foodies. Waiters are just there for your tips and are using that tip money as a means to an end of waiting tables. So if you have a problem with them...stay home, make dinner and have more sex with your bored spouses before your waiter does.
You don't like your server, eh? Let me tell you this: for every annoying trait you all have listed for servers, we can think of ten more for why we hate customers. Even if your server is really nice to you, chances are, he/she hates you and is talking crap about you as soon as he leaves the table. My experience as a server has shown me that a good majority of people (certainly not just Americans) have no class and have no idea how to interact in a public setting. And man, I also feel so bad for their kids...
You're my hero.
It doesn't matter what you do as a Waiter/Bartender, someone is going to write an article about what they hate. Instead of focusing on all your "pet peeves" which you will always be able to find, enjoy the company you came with and deal with the rest. I take pride in being able to handle a 7-top without writing anything down. Don't ever ask me "are you sure you're going to remember all this?" The only time I ever mess up is when someone asks me that question, and it isn't always a mistake.
Every "guest" that comes in wants something different, we do our best to please the majority. Lighten up a little.
It also depends where you go to eat. if it's a casual "chain" you'll get casual service with all the pet peeves. Haowever, after saying that, if you get the same treatment in a more expensive establishment, a lousy tip, complaint to the manager, after they ask "how was everything". I hate the small chains and when they say "enjoy". Servres need to use personality, not the generic list of 20 items to say to every customer EVERY time! I knew a guy that when to a high level luncheon, at a class establishment. The host picked up the tab for everyone at a cost of $600. he paid with his credit card, NO tip! As he was leaving the restaurant, the waiter came running out and in front of all the host's guest asked" was there something wrong with the service"? The host marched back to his table, grabbed the $200 CASH that he left the waiter, and said "for embarassing me, this WAS your tip, and that WAS your job.
Was the "host's" name "Mike?"
Let me preface this with the statement I have worked in restaurants, for a good long time, and I agree that there's a lot of folks that need to just to understand that side of it. That being said, however, I was pretty good at it and I hold servers and restaurants to a high standard because yes, I walked the walk.
My biggest pet peeve? Hosts/hostesses who, after you've walked through their door to arrive to be seated, just stare at you with a vacant yet polite look of inquiry. Shouldn't they greet you as you walk in, maybe even assume you've entered the restaurant to actually, oh I don't know ... eat? They just stand there mute waiting for you to request a seat. ARGH! Anyone who goes out with me knows better than to say a word; I'll stand there staring back at them for as long as it takes for them to pull their head out and greet me, and ask if I'd like to sit down.
Actually, try it sometime, don't give into the urge to be the first to say "2 for dinner". Just stare back and wait. It's kind fun!
hahaah. I think I might share this idea with my friends!
Very interesting!
1. If I am in a conversation with my companion, do not interrupt to ask me how I am enjoying my meal. If I'm not, I will have caught your attention before then.
2. DO ask who gets what instead of plunking dishes down in front of the first person. It's like musical chairs with food.
3. Be prompt because although I'm a very reasonable person, if I have to wait an hour for my food I will leave and go elsewhere
4. I am not your new best friend, I do not need to strike up lengthy conversations with you
5. Do NOT hit on my husband or I will make a point of speaking to management
6. Do NOT hit on me, because my husband will verbally shred you until you are on your knees. Show some respect
7. Remember, good service is quiet service
What a pretentious, conceited individual you are. The way the words have translated out of your mind and onto the computer give me the impression that you are Joanna Stayton from the movie Overboard.
Cunt.
1. DO be prepared to be treated like a douchebag
2. DO NOT be aware of the pubes in your chicken
3. DO stay delusioned that someone would hit on white trash husband or your fat ass
Why is it that women always think that when their server is female that she is automatically hitting on her man?! Newsflash, abigail and others.. we don't want your men! We're being polite and friendly. Plus, more often than not, we have men of our own or we wouldn't want a man that could be with someone as insecure as yourself.
I'm a good tipper – my mom was a waitress, so I know it's hard work and know how much servers depend on tips. Having said that, ALL waiters/waitresses everywhere NEED to stop asking 'Do you need change?'. It's not helpful, it's tacky and presumptuous. You're putting the diner on the spot, potentially making them feel like a cheap jerk, which is definitely not good for your tip. Just give us the change and then we'll handle the tip – that's how it works. You can wait another minute and a half to get the tip, which I promise will be better if you don't ask 'Do you need change?'.
exactly. a better phrase is "I will be right back with your change" that way if the customer has already left the tip with payment they can say "no thanks, that's for you" without the passive-aggressive blackmail that goes on so often.
Dealing with the public in any job is tough. I treat servers like I would want to be treated...I usually get very good service. My issue is not servers. My issue is why does a restaurant assume that two women or one a woman alone would be happy to have the lousiest table in the place? My money is as green as the next customer. Never fails. We’re directed to the bathrooms, the serving station, and the kitchen. I recently was in an upscale NY restaurant. I refused the lousy table and told them instead I'll sit at a different one and was accommodated. However, throughout my meal, I watched them direct every female to the table I had refused.
Your money is not "as green." You will most likely buy a salad and water and you're taking up a table that could make the restaurant much more money. It's not personal, restaurants just like money more than they like you.
You are so right there, Jo. I walked into a large restaurant in Toronto, one cold winter afternoon (one of those old fashioned places with overstuffed leatherette booths) and was led through a largely empty dining room to a tiny,tiny table that was all by itself next to a ramp between levels. The table was sort of built into the wall, like a display niche. You even had to step up to climb into it. No one would ever want to sit there. I looked at the hostess and said, "You have got to be kidding." She said nothing, but looked me right in the eye and did not budge. I walked out and found another place to eat. I couldn't believe it! Canadians are usually better than that.
I've worked my share of restaurants so I know what it's like and I believe in giving good tips – I know most wait staff work hard for a living and get shafted on their tips. I once saw a customer walking out of a restaurant snag the waitress' tip off a table on her way. Unbelievable! But as a customer the only way to decrease my tip unless the service is really rediculous is making me wait for my bill. If you've cleared all the plates and asked if I want anything more and the answer is no? I want to leave now. If I have to wait more than 15 minutes beyond that point the tip starts going down. If I have to wait a half hour for my bill after that point I won't tip you at all. I would think you'd want to turn that table as fast as you could anyway. Why wait?
I know this is a complaint against everyone under the age of 30 and not just waiters, but it bugs me when I make a simple request, as in, "Could I have some coffee, please?", and the waiter responds with , "No problem." I feel the urge to reply, " I don't care if it's problem; it's your job." My wife thinks I'm more annoying than the waiter.
I used to be a waiter. Maybe someone can explain to me why people think they should get doggie bags at all-you-can-eat restaurants?
Jim, you're simply old and obsolete now, like a tape deck. Don't worry, us young people hate you right back, and believe me, it ain't a fuckin' problem. Dick.
doesn't "No Problem" mean yes? soooooooo....?
Seems like the writer takes herself a bit too seriously. As long as my server is respectful and attentive, I certainly wont let little things like this get under my skin.
This one is kinda funny. Le Bec Fin in Philadelphia used to be a Mobil 5-star. Entire menu was in French only, with four courses prix fix and about ten choices per course. So first, the waiter had to go through the menu and translate everything into English orally. Took about ten minutes, and by the 26th item, you couldn't remember the first 25.
But this is the funny part. There was this little old man in a waiter's tux with a silver tray of olive bread and tongs. His sole job was to give you another piece of bread if you consumed yours. The entire meal, he was lurking in the shadows of the room, watching everyone eat their bread. And his arm would jut to your bread plate with loaded tongs as soon as you took your last bite of the prior piece. It was hilarious.
I really don't like it when the server does something routine, say, brings my food and, when I say "Thank you", the server replies "No Problem". Huh? I never thought it was a problem. How about a simple, "You're welcome."?
Also, please don't fill a beverage glass right over the table. The pitcher will invariably drip condensation onto the food!
I stopped at a Cracker Barrel in South Carolina during one long road trip recently, and I was delighted to hear my server respond with, "My pleasure." Now THAT's the way to respond!
Not condensation! Kill yourself.
PeteH, You are too funny.
I have several friends who consider "You're welcome" to be rude and pretentious because they grew up in other parts of the world and they prefer it when people say "No problem" or "No worries." We can't please everyone, no matter how hard we try.
That is so true (about pleasing everyone). Half of the things I've read here that some customers do not appreciate (like clearing plates while others may be eating) are things that some of my customers love that I do. At the start of each table, I always try to strike a balance between what customers generally want and what the table wants. You're right, Kelly, you can't please everyone.
Also, I've just gotten into the habit of every time someone says "Thank you," I just say "Thank you" in return. Not only do I actually appreciate being thanked, but it avoids the "No problem" faux pas. Just a thought to all the servers out there!
I tell the server right up front that I have difficulty hearing, and the dimwit doesn't translate this in his/her mind into "So I need you to SLOW DOWN, speak loudly and distinctly or we'll be here a LOOOONG time!" Instead, he/she will continue to babble at Valley Girl/Guy speed at about 5 decibels, then roll eyes when you ask for them to repeat what they just said.
I'm low maintenance, so I don't need much from a waiter/waitress. But the one thing that happens almost *every* time my boyfriend and I eat out is that the server interrupts our conversation every 5 minutes to ask if we need anything or whatever. It's not that we're staring at our food and chewing, and the drop by, we'll be in an animated conversation and instead of walking over, waiting a second (during which we'd inevitably stop talking, given the sudden presence of a 3rd party) and THEN ask – no, they just barge in and talk over us, basically. REALLY annoying. It's not necessary to ask 10 times anyway. Really good servers are the ones who, instead of verbally interrupting you, will accomplish the same task (making sure everyone's needs are being met) by just walking around their tables where diners can see them and easily get their attention if they need something. It's pretty universal that when a diner needs something, they look around for their server – they don't wait to be asked if they need something. A really good server is always glancing around for that 'where is my server' searching diner – it's much appreciated.
I have been serving for a long time. I have finally found a restaurant where the money and clientele are to the level I appreciate because they appreciate me and the restaurant. But, that being said, I really dislike the customers who assume they are the only table I am responsible on a Friday night. I understand this might be a rare opportunity for you to go out and I do want you to enjoy yourselves, but you have to remember, the more time you keep me at the table, the less time I have to spend with my other tables. Put yourself in their shoes, you would be very angry if you needed something and I was at another table for long periods of time. It's frustrating.
Also, please remember that here in America, most servers only make about $2-$3 an hour. Our income is based on your tips that we earn. If you give me 10% because I deserve it, I can live with that. But if you give me 10%, and I provide exceptional service, that's just disrespectful!
I make it a point never to give servers a hard time, no matter what the service is like. Being a server in a restaurant is a hard job that usually doesn't pay that well and most of them are doing the best they can. I used to go to a restaurant for lunch that had two basic customers, about half were businessmen like me. They tended to know what they wanted, tip well and joke and kid with the servers. The other half were retired people, who tended to not know what they wanted, when they did get it, it wasn't exactually what they expected. Then they would complain, about the food, about the service, about everything. Then when they were done, they left a fifty cent tip.
Same here – and I can't stand the ones who plop themselves down in the seat right next to you or the person you're with. The other thing I can't stand is when a female server caters to my husband but literally ignores me and barely gets my order written before going back to flirting with him. I don't care about the flirting, I just want to be given the same level of attention, and not be treated like an interuption. This happened again last night when we were out for dinner and the girl (early 20s) got a nasty tone with me. Usually this sort of thing is entertaining to us both and we have a good laugh about it later, but this particular server took it a bit too far. My husband started to say something but I cut him off and said to her "You might want to turn the b*tch-switch down a few notches, considering tonight's tab, including any tip you may or may not receive based on your level of sercice, is going on MY card." She disappeared and a male server was sent to cover her. He did well and got a good tip. I made sure the receipt had his name on it has our server so he would get the tip.
Amazing
Maybe your body is as ugly as your attitude, and that's why your husband flirts with waitresses.
I don't know who PeteH is but that's FUNNY!
PeteH I *Pee-Pee* on YOU! you are mean and nasty-man! u have no sex! Pete, re-Pete, 3-Pete............ –> PEE-Pete!! hahaha LOL!! :-)
APROPOS!
Most of these are pretty whiny points. You don't like your glass more than half full? Tough titties. You don't like waiters being friendly? Try it when they're not. You'll just blog harder that "they seem to not care and are so rude!"
The fact is for everything YOU complain about, somebody else is going to complain when it's NOT like that. A server's job is hell, I don't envy them, and I respect them. I tip 20% even when I'm not in the best financial state (unless they did something clearly wrong) because I've had server-friends and I know how it can be; mostly, dealing with people who will complain no matter what.
Of course, everybody thinks that what they view as "clearly wrong" is what everybody else views as "clearly wrong."
I've been a server for over 6 years. Let me tell you that it is not an easy job trying to satisfy every person who comes in. Something one server does might annoy one guest but please the other. Like any other job, each server is different in the way that they provide service to each guest. You dont truely know how it feels to be in the service industry until you have experienced it, and if you have experienced it and you still have alot of negative things to say about it, I suggest you lighten up. In general, servers dont intentionally do things to annoy their guests. All we want is a smooth sailing experience with each "table" that comes in. I mean, it works both ways, there are things our guests do that drive us up the wall but we understand that its part of the nature of our jobs and we move forward and so should you.
Let's not overlook the single most annoying, rude and boorish behaviour in a restaurant. People on their cell phones. Those of you who talk on your cells while others around you are trying to dine are the rectal polyps of society.
And they don't just talk on the phone in a quiet, conversational voice. Instead, they're yelling and gesticulating like John Madden used to do on the sidelines.
Finally! An intelligent comment! Thank you.
I go *Pee-Pee* on people who talk loudly on their cell phones in restaurants!! Piss on THEM!! selfish 18750=8
It's even worse when I want to take someone's order but they're on the phone, so I come back a few minutes later and then they get mad for things taking so long. I'm trying to do my job and serve you, so please hold your phone call for 30 seconds so I can take your order, or don't get mad when I'm forced to come back. I can't just stand there and wait for you to be ready. I have other things to do.
I hate it when the bring me the check and I haven't asked for it!
I hate when I'm done with my meal and want to leave but have to flag down the waiter to get the check.
Most guests appreciate that. If i waited to drop the check until each guest asked for it, my tips would suffer badly.
I hate arrogant, self-absorbed gourmand assholes who think they have the right to judge those who prepare and serve their food. If you possessed a modicum of respect for other human beings you'd be able to see how shallow and entitled your poorly-written blog sounds. And lots of these comments are just as bad... I'd like to come to where you work and arbitrarily judge the job you're doing even though I possess no knowledge of your field whatsoever. If you're so miserable and pathetic, stay home and stuff your fat ugly faces in private. You people have no idea how much spit you're eating every time you go out with your pissy, over-privileged attitudes.
AMEN!
Nicely said
Have you considered valium? Wow.
No insurance, lol.
Pete you're amazing!
Once my drink is on the tabel, water, wine, etc, do NOT touch my glass! If need be, I will move it within reach. But do NOT lift my glass from the table -and do Not bring my plate with your thumb over the rim.
I'd like to shove that glass up your fucking ass.
BEST POST EVER!!!
that was hilarious!!
How do you expect us to carry it? Balanced on the top of our heads? Master the art of levitation?
Okay, so when I approach you with a 2 liter pitcher of water, and your glass is less than half full, but you will not acknowledge my presence and move your glass closer to the end of your table and away from your body, I will happily splash water onto the table and make a mess as I strain two feet over with my heavy, awkward pitcher of ice water with a poorly designed spout.
Seriously, if a server comes over and rearranges your plates and glasses, that is not okay, but if they are trying to refill your drink or balancing your steak and potatoes on a heavy plate and you have not left enough space on the table for them to set it down, what do you want us to do? Ask you to go pick it up from the kitchen when you're ready? Or ask "please move your drink"? But that seems rude to me, no matter what tone of voice... much rather quietly scoot your glass ever so slightly while you are immersed in conversation and politely set your plate down in from of you.
I CONCUR.
I wonder what the 2 billion starving people in the world think of all our complaints?
Right? Honestly. It's so petty.
I'm so lucky to have a job, albeit in a restaurant, #1, and to be able to eat for free in a restaurant is beyond ridiculous. People need to vent about what they hate... it's the ego's way of validation.
Serving the public is humbling and makes you clearly see how enlightened or ignorant the public can be.
I waited tables for two weeks and quit. It's hard work!
Now I over-tip almost all the time.
BTW.... how are servers supposed to just KNOW how you want to be treated? Everyone is different and some might like what others dislike..... As long as they are polite, clean, and fairly attentive – I'm okay with that.
I think that everyone should try waiting tables or working in the restaurant business as a pre-requisite to dining out. Just reading some of these comments shows what kind of entitled, rude, and non-understanding (or ignorant?) diners we have in America. Half of the commenters complain about their servers checking on them too often, and the other half complained about their servers not being there promptly enough. The commenters referenced in this article show that there's a wide variety of individual preferences in customers. Somethings might be totally annoying to one person, but might be expected with another. How are servers supposed to to predict which people will prefer what when dining out? People need to keep in mind that their servers have 7 other tables to accomodate, and that THEY are not the only customer the server is trying to take good care of. We have some of the best service here in America, and yet people still complain about the tiniest little things. A good example is the comment above from "iamthewalrus", who managed to complain about servers squatting next to them to explain the specials. Get a life! It's been 10 years since I've been a server, but I APPRECIATE what our servers go through and 20% is the MINIMUM tip I give for what these people have to go through. I recommend others give the restaurant business a try as well, to learn some manners and compassion for your hard working servers.
Here here! Well put.
I agree...everyone should have that experience if they can. I have not had the experience myself, and don't suspect I ever will now at this point in life. But, I think some of these pet peeves would be put to rest if we were in a waiter's shoes for even a day. My only pet peeve is when I'm asked if I need change. But I agree that waiting tables is not an easy job!
The first couple of times I didn't mind the oh so friendly, "Hey, GUYS, how're WE doing tonight?", because the restaurants in which I heard the phrase...and the continual use of "guys" throughout the meal...were considered "hip" or the informal settings of an Applebees or Bennigans.
That was years ago and it seems to me that the use of "guys" has seeped into the higher end restaurants and has practically become an industry standard. Today, I find it to be overly presumptuous; quite annoying and an undignified way of addressing dinner guests.
It's about time someone addressed the "GUYS" greeting. I, personally, am offended – especially in a better restaurant. It doesn't matter if I'm with my husband or another woman, the server greets us with 'Hi Guys", 'How ya' doin'? (not always, but sometimes). What's wrong with "folks", or 'ladies' or 'Sir' and M'am'? Can't we stage a "sit-in" or "protest" to stop this horrible habit?
Whine whine whine. I would like to talk about what annoys be about customers. When they leave you a 1$ tip after running you around the restaurant all night long... when they say they have to get to a movie and its your responsibility to get them out by a certain time or when they take you aside and say that they have taken money out of your tip because the cook put onions on their hamburger. My advice: stay home and cook your own lousy meal. Always tip–if not a good experience at least tip 15%. Believe me people notice when you are cheap.
Always tip? I think not. While I'm generally a very generous tipper and not very demanding, I will absolutely write a zero on the tip line if the service is bad.
I don't know where you get off thinking you're entitled to at least 15% no matter what.
I had a person tell me once that they had tickets to the 9:00 movie. I looked at my watch and told them nicely that it was 8:30 on a Saturday night and there was no way they could sit down, order, me place their order, the kitchen prepare it, me serve it, them eat it and them pay out and make it to the movie by 9pm. I wasn’t rude or belittling. They looked at each other, thanked me, got up and left. Did it suck that I missed out on a tip? Yes. But it was better then being cursed out because they were late for the movie!
good for you oNceAwaiTress!! you did the right thing! those people with the 9:00 movie tickets are idiots, self-absorbed scruputulas!! they are stupid!! hope they went to the movie and then home HUNGRY!! drive-through is their only option...
'k should be relegated to the ngiht janitor position at her restaurant! her and most all the other x, y and z generations of self-entitled spoiled brats think they deserve everything without having to put forth any effort to earn or deserve it. sad and pitiful and the reason our country is in the sad shape it is today. oh, and illegal immigration also!
I saw this article and had to respond – I waited tables and bartended my own way through college. As I'm sure any other restaurant worker, I could go on and on about the poor form of restaurant goers. We could probably complain as much as they do. For those who typically get their order 'wrong', try making it easier in the first place and just pick off whatever it is you don't want. If you don't like mayo, that's fine. Don't tell me it'll make you puke if you see it. And if you're ordering meat, for God's sake do us all a favor and actually know what medium means. Yes, it's pink in the center. It won't kill you.
I can't tell you the number of disdainful looks I got from people just for being a server. If I wasn't working, you wouldn't be eating, so get off your high horse and join the rest of the real world.
A favorite in Australia when the food's put on the table: "Here we are" (spoken in some sickening tone like you're 10 years old). Servers are just that – for God's sake, just shut-up and get the job done without all the patronizing. It's NOT a privilege to be waited upon when you're paying for it.
Please never come into my restaurant
Yeah, I agree... make sure you dine where you get your meal through a window from someone wearing a headset.
WOW! Are you serious? Would you rather them just drop your food on the table, turn around and leave? Why don't you print out a dialogue of exactly what you want the server to say to you when you're there?
I have a very simple solution to inordinately long waits for my meal to arrive. I get up and leave – no comments or arguing – just leave and go to another restaurant. If on my way out the manager asks why I'm leaving, I tell them, 'I got tired of waiting forever for my meal'. As for rude servers, I go to the manager and ask for either a different table in another section, or for a different server. People should remember that the customer is in charge. That server only has a job because I (I, being the patrons in general) patronize that restaurant. No customers? No job. It's a simple equation. And servers, don't bitch and moan about patrons. If you don't like them, find another line of work.
I'm curious what you consider too long a wait. My first inclination to this policy of yours is to consider it theft. Even though you haven't eaten your meal, most likely it's been at least partially prepared. Most people go out to eat not simply for the food, but to enjoy good company in a comfortable atmosphere. Generally people aren't in such a rush. I would suggest if you're in a rush not to eat at busy establishments, not to hesitate communicating with your server (telling them ahead of time that you're trying to catch a movie, for example, or asking why it's taking so long). And then, obviously, it helps to not order well done steaks and other things that simply take awhile to prepare.
Would you consider 45 minutes an acceptable wait, Megs? That's how long it took to get an entree after the first course the last time I ate in one of the better restaurants in my city. I was tempted to put money on the table for what we'd already eaten and walk out, but it was a birthday dinner and I was trying to remain festive. The server didn't even say anything about the delay, but avoided our table. We flagged down the manager, and were told, simply, that the kitchen was backed up. I haven't been back there since.
Sometimes the kitchen does indeed get backed up. It isn't the servers fault, especially in a good restaurant like mine where everything is cooked to order from scratch. Usually, I find that even if it taking an inordinately long amount of time for the food to arrive, if I simple talk to the table about and explain the issue, they're happy. If it takes a REALLY long time I will go and grab them something to munch on on the house, or let them know that I will get them free dessert, SOMETHING. If you are in a quality place, they want you to be happy, and if you just walk out without speaking to someone you could be missing out.
i have always believed the world would be a better place if everyone was required to work in a service capacity for one year of their life, or maybe one month every few years.
then, you would be able to identify with the condescending nonsense delivered with the assumption that being served is being entitled to take life's dissatisfactions out on someone just trying to make a living (and get away with it)
amen!
Well said! I totally agree.
I went from being a server, to doing phone tech support for computer equipment in hospitals. If our equipment didn't work, patients would suffer. Yet, for some reason, people throw BIGGER toddler tantrums in restaurants than they do when people actually did suffer in a hospital. It's amazing how entitled people feel when they dine out.
I hate it when the server comes over and - usually after you've already looked at the menu and decided what to order - reels off a long list of specials (sometimes including desserts, which you do not need to hear at that time). Is it too much to ask for the restaurant to print out a daily specials sheet? This used to be a sneaky way to get people to order dishes that were more expensive than they'd usually go for (the prices are rarely given, and most people are too embarrassed to ask). I don't know why it persists. Often, in loud restaurants, you can't even hear what the server is saying anyway. It's also irritating when the specials are chalked on a tiny board that is not visible to most of the tables. We all have high-quality printers these days, restaurant owners: just print out the darned menu!
Fiona...if you don't know what goes into a business don't speak on it. The reason why the specials are recited is because they're SPECIALS!!! They are usually at a limited portion. I'm sure you would complain about always being told that the specials are no longer available. They have a limited about and when it's out the servers stop reciting them. It's much more frustrating for a patron to get excited to hear they're going to eat Coq au Vin and they havent had it in years only to hear they're all out when the server returns. People get a clue. Unless you've run a restaurant shut the front door please. Your all whiney pampered asses. Fiona I would never want you as a patron. Your the ones that people complain about. Although, most servers do not tamper with food a lot of people do. All it takes is one mention in the kitchen that someone is being rude and this could be done without the servers knowledge. Were like a family in a restaurant and mess with the family you know what happens. I've only mess with someones food once and I still feel bad about it but that little bitch deserved it.
You might be taken more seriously if you at least attempted to engage in polite and civil discourse, Stetch. You are rude and coarse. That devalues anything you have to say.
I have worked in restaurants, and I do know what can and can't be done. They CAN print out a sheet and include it with the menu - with prices. They CAN write the specials on a large board that is visible to all, or on multiple boards throughout the restaurant. Your argument that dishes are limited and might sell out is bogus. ALL of the dishes can sell out (I am speaking here of the better restaurants that do not use manufactured entrees). I can't tell you how many times I've ordered off of the regular menu only to be told that something was not available. A server who is on top of things will warn a table, soon after the customers have been seated or when the menus are brought, that x and y dishes are either sold out or in short supply. There is no reason whatsoever that specials cannot be listed on paper. Could it be that restaurants are still trying to hide premium prices with this outdated ritual?
What you don't see, because you are thinking only of yourself, Stetch, is that many people (young and old) do not hear well, and many older people have trouble retaining the information you just rattled off to them. Why should customers have to strain to hear information that should be presented in print? Try thinking about this from the perspective of someone who is not you.
Fiona, from your self righteous tones in all of your posts, it's clear that you are just an angry bitter person who's looking to validate herself by pointing the finger at everyone and trying to make yourself seem better... on an internet blog. Sad. Trust me, it doesn't make you look better. Just sad. Please move on with your sad self righteous views. You apparently learned nothing by working in the service industry.
I'm not surprised their are this many prudes visiting this blog, probably agreeing with all of its contents wholeheartedly. It just goes to show the patience it takes to put up with these sorts of people who have no idea what its like to work as waitstaff.
I have worked in restaurants most of my adult life, and I cannot begin to tell you how rude people are to waiters. I agree with Amy, especially concerning large groups splitting checks, and parents who fail to act like parents.
Are there times when a wiater isn't paying enough attention? Of course. We are, after all, human. But look around the restaurant before you get angry-is it full? Have you just watched your waiter have multiple tables seated at the same time? If so, then unless you have waited tables, you have no idea how amazingly busy that person is. A waiter has to multi-task to a level most people rarely have to do-and we do it repeatedly.
Also...why would you be rude and/or condescending to someone who is handling your food? Seriously.
This article is short compared to the amount of pet peeves I could write having waited on the public in the restaurant industry for the past 20 years.
Working in the service industry is NOT for everyone and it is not easy by any means. You can make almost as much if not more than a medical doctor and only work 4 nights a week. It can be extremely rewarding and you can meet the most incredibly wonderful people, or it can suck like you wouldn't imagine.
It's sometimes looked at as a "failure job" or "temporary" but some of us "lifers" actually enjoy it. I will say one thing, it teaches you how to behave appropriately in public and how to actually dine in a restaurant properly. If anything it's taught me how to be very aware of others and of myself.
If you've never waited tables in your life then you really have no right to complain, about ANYTHING. If you were FORCED to tip 20% and were given crappy service, then you have the right to complain. Servers and bartenders customarily make $2.63 per hour (most people don't know that) and they rely almost entirely on the "graciousness" of the public. There are also some restaurants where the entire staff pools their tips together and divide it up among those who worked and for how long. So think twice before you stiff a server… you're stiffing more than one person. Besides, dining out in public is not a right, it's a privilege.
Put yourself in your server's position and imaging having to wait on difficult, rude, entitled and cheap people. It's not fun, nor easy. There's also the other side of the coin where being a server in a restaurant, you can wait on some of the most amazing and gracious people ever, and more often than not, those people have had to wait tables for years at some point in their life... or they were raised with manners.
Bring it on… I'll be seeing you sitting down while I'm standing up.
Be nice to your servers, they have the power to do what they want with your food.
Think about it.
You should be fired for that last threat.
You'd never know it darling.... Be nice. Karma is a bitch.
Also a lifer, I agree w Justith ya 100% V! We could talk for hours about this, but there is not enough space. your last comment reminds me of the grandma that dropped the thanksgiving turkey on the way to the table, walked back into the kitchen, then walked back out with the "new" turkey....people have no idea, not saying we dropped the same turkey we brought back out, but they never will know
you had me on your side until you wrote the last three lines. then you revealed yourself to be a sniveling, arrogant, power-tripping jerk. I have nothing to fear because I treat service people with dignity and courtesy but I would hate to eat in your restaurant simply because I would not want to contribute to your misguided image that you are a good employee.
Obviously you don't know the first thing about clarity. Sniveling? Really. Yeah, you know all about me by reading my last 3 lines.
It's called the truth try4clarity (really?), see it or ignore it. Food tampering is not something I would EVER do personally (and have never, due to my belief that what you put out, you get back) but I have worked with servers who wouldn't blink an eye at getting revenge on evil customers by doing unspeakable acts.
I was stating a fact, and the fact is, some servers would food tamper and people who are "arrogant" diners should be careful in blindly thinking that it wouldn't happen to them. Put down your ego and read the words again.
I agree with you, Mr. V. I have the utmost compassion (and very good tips) for the nice/great servers out there – and there are tons of them.
My mom was a waitress for years and I know that it's a thankless job which is exhausting and results in a lot of sore feet, backs, etc. Your server might be a single parent putting their kids through school with this job, keep it in mind. Yes, they still have to do their job well in order to be rewarded for it, but even still, it's an exhausting job with horrible pay.
Some diners expect to be treated like they're dining at the Ritz, even at Denny's. They also make the mistake of blaming the servers for things that are entirely out of their hands (slow kitchen service, low air conditioning, the place being understaffed, etc.) Servers often make or break the dining experience and when we're paying a lot of money, we want a lot in return. Some places, we really shouldn't expect much in the first place. Many complaints here are valid, many are ridiculous and completely out of touch.
Mr. V, regarding your rude comment about "karma," you never know ho you are addressing on an Internet blog. I happen to be every polite to servers. I happen to have worked as one at one time. I think you must be mentally disturbed to make such a threat, even in jest. I stand with my previous statement: you should be fired for what you wrote. You should not be dealing with the public at all.
Fiona, you're clearly looking for an argument to prove to yourself that you are right and better than others.
Cool, I get it.
You didn't read the words correctly. I did not state that I personally food tamper, it's not something I would ever do or have done. As far as your belief that I should be fired and shouldn't work in this industry proves that you are ego filled and clearly ignorant. You don't know the first thing about me or my job and I would be sure that if you ever met me in person, you would eat your words and kick yourself in the ass for making such a ridiculous statement.
I am not a server that food tampers and if you could speak and understand English, you'd see that. As you can see from this blog, lots of people have pent up frustrations about their lives and you're apparently one of them. Please, try to think before you react needlessly just to try and prove that you are "better" than anyone else because you have something that everyone has... an opinion.
Be nice, please. That's what this whole blog is about. Being a nice person. It's sad if you fall in that category of being an asshole, because it's people that think like you that get bad service. You deserve it.
I am a server and everything on this list I hate. But it works both ways: Lets start from the beginning. When a customer tells me they are starving and need food as fast as they can get it. I think your a grown adult maybe you should have gotten something to eat before now and most times they are overweight. Next, What do you want to drink? "Coffee and a Soda" that is ridiculous just get one drink please or drink the water in front of you. And in the summer don't get coffee, its 100 degrees outside. Don't say how cold it is because all the servers are hot and sweating and the last thing you want is for to sweat on you or in the food. Next, Now the menu if I ask you if your ready and you say "Yes" then be ready and understand what sides come with your meal. Please know what an appetizer is! Next, I dont know whats great on the menu. But I do Know the most expensive items. Please don't touch me or demand things from me. Next, remeber what you ordered. People forget all the time and blame the server. Thats why i write it down and I will prove you wrong. Last if I bring the bill don't say anything that means you don't want to pay it. NO JOKES. Your not funny. Just pay the bill and leave because I make money by turning tables. Last and most crucial DON"T MAKE YOUR SERVER MAD BECAUSE MOST OF THEM WILL DO BAD THINGS TO YOUR FOOD. I HAVE SEEN IT WAY TO MANY TIMES. I would never do it but I have seen it in every restaurant I have worked in. So be sweet otherwise your going to eat something that you don't want to .
You are far too angry to be a server. You need to get a different job- maybe you could bus tables instead- you would still get tips at the end of the night.
And I have worked in restaurants for over ten years and have NEVER seen or heard about food tampering.
Noah, If I'm a customer in your restaurant, I'll get what I effing want to drink, you stuck-up snot! If I want coffee and a soda, I'll order coffee and a soda. If I want coffee on a 100-degree day, I'll order it. If you're my server, who the heck are you to tell me what I should or shouldn't order to drink? I'm the one who's paying for it, after all! If I got your kind of attitude from a server in a restaurant, I'd never go back there. I worked in restaurants for several years and eat out frequently, and I'm a generous tipper.
I strongly suggest that you (a) find a different line of work; (b) grow UP.
Noah, you better hold off on "putting things" in peoples food or you will be serving it in prison.
sally you obviously dont realize the no cooks or server care if you spit in food just say that are being assholes and they wont mind or will put you food last to help the waiter fuck you over. even high class restaurant i work at a four star may not food tamper but still treat assholes badly
you don't seem to understand that "server" is derived from the word service meaning "one who serves". you are there to provide, within the abilities of your restaurant, whatever the customer wants. if they want nine beverages, you bring them with a smile. it is also part of YOUR job to be familiar with the menu, not just the high ticket items you think will bring you a better tip. for you to complain that people might be forgetful, or in a hurry, or god forbid – hungry, is arrogance of a fatal degree. so stop expecting the world at large to adhere to your assembly line attitude and focus on providing courteous and helpful service.
better yet, find a job where you don't have to interact with people. you will never be happy in this profession or any good as a server.
Noah what do you care what I have to drink? If anything you should welcome it, since it increases the bill, which increases your tip (assuming you don't act as jerky in person as you sound).
Noah – I assume you're either being over dramatic, or work in a terribly-run restaurant that's about to be shut down. I've met servers like you and they've been fired or moved to busser/host position immediately. Get over yourself.
Wow Noah. I've served for 5 years and I understand how easy it is to become bitter and misanthropic. Yes, there are terrible customers out there (I worked in a sushi bar in a college town where customers repeatedly grabbed by butt, or sent their sashimi back because, "Ah, this is friggin raw!!!"). But I have never, ever seen or heard of any food tampering. Yeah, we might joke about it in the back, but no one would ACTUALLY do it.
I hate it when customers order multiple drinks too (I work in a place now that eschews tray service, so it takes multiple trips) but hey, if they want it they got it and my job is to smile and pretend it doesn't bother me!
The coffee thing though... I live in Arizona, and during the summer we don't keep coffee brewed, we can go for days without someone ordering it, and so brewing it just means it will sit there and burn, so please please don't be angry when we politely say, "Definitely. I'll get that out to you as soon as we finish brewing a new pot."
Just a few more things: If I do something you don't like, you can tell me. I guarantee I've been friendly throughout your experience and if I made a mistake I would like to know so that I can apologize and make it better. For example, I was in the habit of asking, "Do y'all need change?" when I picked up the bill, because I don't run the cards or make the change, I have to give it to another girl who is also very busy and who does that particular job. I never knew that I was annoying people because no one ever said anything. I wasn't gunning for a bigger tip or trying to insult anyone! Now, when I go to work tonight, I will try the "I'll be right back with your change." See? Easy as pie, just politely speak up.
Wow, I think some people have WAY to much time on their hands. what a bunch of self centered loons. Not one sever can 100% satisfy you people, and the funny thing is, all the people who are whining and crying, they could never be a server. I can understand if the server was rood, or didnt pay any attention, but your critical about them trying to do a good job???? well at least they are trying and not just blowing you off.
Let's remember that service in a restaurant is a complex system and is not the sole responsibility of the waiter or waitress. If your service is very slow, then it could be because the manager didn't hire enough help on the floor or in the kitchen that day. If a server is rude or incompetent, again remember that management is ultimately responsible. How much did they invest in training? I like restaurants where tips are pooled and everyone, including the manager on duty, suffers if someone blows it.
What galls me is when they automatically bring me a new drink when I did not ask for one and then charge me for it! Automatic refills are fine on tea or soda if refills are included. If it is a cost per drink, ASK me first.
I also hate that not looking like one of the beautiful people, even though i am a highly educated professional woman with a very high income means others are often seated ahead of me out of turn. It should not matter what the patron looks like-handicapped, overweight, homely, whatever-each should be treated with the exact same respect. You never know who might actually be a reviewer or have a big mouth and a willingness to trash you to everyone they know!
I'm a young adult male and I also have a problem with women servers calling me "hon" or "honey". I'm not your kid.
Maybe they want to bang you.
Pete,
I think I love you.
"well I'm kind of busy..so I check back with you" http://dmanburger.wordpress.com/
The most obnoxious guests I've encountered are those that complain for the sake of complaining. They have an issue, and "want you to know about it", but won't let you fix it. Such as, there aren't enough mushrooms mixed in with their salad. I offer to bring more, and they refuse and say something like, "No, don't worry about it, I just thought you should know for next time". WTF? Everyone has different preferences, and when you order off of a menu you aren't necessarily going to get the exact portions of everything you want. If you have a complaint, allow me to fix it – that is my job. Otherwise, stop being difficult. Similarly, if you find a hair in your food, chances are it has come from someone in the kitchen, your OWN head, or was floating around in the restaurant. The waiter spends less time with your food than anyone else. It is completely ridiculous to leave zero tip at the end of your meal and write a note saying "there was hair in my food, so I'm not tipping you". You're punishing the person who probably had nothing to do with it. Let us know, and we will whip up another dish for you. It's that simple.
Also, if you don't tip your waiter, you are COSTING THEM MONEY. I have NEVER worked at a restaurant where I don't have to tip out bartenders and busboys at the end of the shift, and I have received a ZERO tip from plenty of tables who are very complimentary of my service. If you can't afford to tip, or don't agree with tipping, get your food to go and don't take up time at a table that would otherwise tip and help me pay my rent.
Wow..... all I can say is wow what a bunch of overly sensitive, whiny adults. All of you need to never eat out, ever. You filled my water too much ...really. And, who doesn't like it when someone introduces themselves. C'mon!
I like, "And if you need anything, my name is Chris." Well, what's your name if I don't need anything?
well, a previous commenter has no idea why a server would introduce his or herself, and then you are annoyed that a server explains why they are introducing themselves (the "if you need anything" part). Also, is it not fair to assume that you might POSSIBLY need something during your dining experience? Like, when you are ready for the check? Or a maybe a dessert? Or you decide you want a water in addition to your beer? Aren't you eating out because you need things in the first place, like, a meal, or a server?? Lighten up!
to: a small town waitress–> Herb is just a *troll* being an a$$, don't take his comment seriously!
Shame on Chris for being concerned about your dining experience, what a jerk.
America has a degenerate dining culture and the comments here are reflective of that.
Except in the best restaurants, waiters receive no training on how to perform their job, how to behave with customers, and how to provide table service. It is no wonder that patrons feel terrible being subject to rudeness, indifference, and incompetence. How hard is it to simply observe diners to see when their glasses are empty? The majority of wait personnel do not even understand that this is a core part of their job. Eye contact, speaking clearly, smiling, greeting are also something everyone who deals with customers should master - but very few do.
But many diners themselves also have no manners. The proper way to show that you are finished with your plate is to lay your knife and fork in parallel on your plate. But that assumes that one eats with a knife and fork, which Americans have decided is too bothersome. I constantly see people trying to cut and scoop their food with a fork, even steamed broccoli and other tough items. Earth to USA - the knife is there for a reason! It is really amazing to go to Europe and see how the entire culture has at least maintained their table manners, down to the simplest street worker. Also, you never point, wave, or snap at waitstaff. Politeness given
This article is obnoxious, and clearly written by someone in a bad mood. Professionalism beats "I'm so angry about stuff" any day. CNN isn't an outlet for bad standup routines.
One simple annoying phrase " Do you need change?" The answer should always be.. "I do now"
SHUT UP ALREADY! I ask if you’d like change because it tells me I need to take time out of having 10 tables to go up to my manager to get the change from the till which they only have the keys too which can be a lengthy process for someone who doesn’t need the change. And if you’re not tipping your server then don’t come out to eat moron.
I hate it when hostess, waiters etc. say "you guys" esp when it is just us gals!
I agree with you 'You Guys' drive me up a wall. What is worse is "What will you guys'es have" You guy'es! What high school did you drop out of. There is no reason why the managment can't instuct the wait staff how to conduct themselves at the table.
It's silly to blame the server for the lack of a plural second-person descriptor in the English language.
Only Yankees don't have one.
Those of us in the superior region have the ever reliable "ya'll", which is also gender neutral.
Ryan: "You" is the word you're looking for. It's singular and plural, and inclusive of both genders.
Speaking from experience, "you" by itself doesn't work.
Look for the comments on here complaining the server didn't address the wife, or husband as well. The assumption is generally made that "you" is singular.
The goal is to be inclusive of the entire table.
The WORST service I ever received was when we had ordered Lobster at a local restaurant. We waited, and waited but our server was no where in site. FINALLY he returned with a rubbery dried out lobster with congealed butter. Turned out it was sitting under the lamp light the entire time while he went on his dinner break. He was shocked not to get a tip and that we complained to the owner. BTW, the restaurant went out of business. Guess they did this to several people.
I had a similar thing where my dish was forgotten for a long time on the pickup counter in a diner. I bit into my patty melt and it was cold and congealed. I sent it back, and the server brought back my sandwich warmed up and reassembled. It had been taken apart, the patty placed on the grill, and reassembled! They even put it back together so the bite marks matched!
OH MY! Had to be the same place.
well what did you expect?!? for them NOT to match up the bite marks??? that's so you could continue where you left off!!! only obese, overweight people eat *patty melts* anyways!!! it's a dish for "dumpster-diving douchebags"!! LOL
My rule of thumb for how good a restaurant's food for me is the same question I ask every time: could I cook the same meal better? My wife would agree that I'm a decent cook, but there are times when I pay $20-30 for a meal that I could cook better.
Speaking of money, I don't mind paying $20-30 (or more) for a good meal with excellent service.
Attention to detail is a concept lost in America and in Canada (where I live). Most restaurants hire young punks with no work ethic, lack of concern and no interest in helping anyone other than themselves. Things I look for from a good server is that experience that is unique... a respectful rapport, remembering the little things and keeping my drinks full.
While I do not blame the servers for bad menu choices, poor execution on culinary execution in the kitchen, or low quality ingredients. However, I do blame the servers for bringing a meal that has visible abborations (plastic, improperly garnished, under/over cooked items) because they are the buffer between me and the kitchen. If they tell me that my meal is going to take an extra 10 minutes to prep because the first one was under par, I am a happy customer because they cared about ensuring quality of the meal. If I bring up a point of contention, I do it respectfully and with focus on the issues and facts not on emotional outburst. When I do that, and I face irrational rejections or objections to clearly bad food, I calmly repeat the word "Manager" and the problem becomes resolved.
Meal service is a lost art. If you don't like details and dealing with challenges in personal service, then DO NOT GO INTO THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS.
I might add, if you are grouchy and hate people, don't become a waiter/host/hostess.
hey...I liked people before I started working as a waiter...... ;)
Hosting made me hate people, because more often than not the sense of entitlement people have is mind boggling.
As a diner, I dislike having conversation interrupted repeatedly by the server. Servers should be aware, not intrusive. It also bugs me when they say, "Is everything wonderful?" If it is, I'll definitely say so.
Having been a server, I think servers should be treated like fellow human beings. Look at them when you speak to them. Be aware if they're trying - they do have other customers to wait on. If the food is lousy, you can tell the server politely. Don't blame them for the cook's errors.
I was a hostess in a restaurant for a year, and I am echoing Lolita here, but WORST experience ever! You get blamed when the food's too cold (or too hot... figure that one out), if the AC is on too high, or not enough, if the water is too cold (another one to figure out), etc. I hated the snotty customers who always found a reason to complain. It was a casual diner too, and when the customers expected gourmet cooking it always cracked me up. Nothing makes a hostess/server's day like a POLITE human being of a customer, not someone who treats you like something on the bottom of their shoe. And believe me, there are PLENTY of people like that in this world... and most of them eat out.
Really? THIS is journalism?! What a load of whiny, mindless crap. Never would I eat out with this mean-spirited, uptight writer. This person would absolutely ruin a fun dining experience with her seriously A-type list of "do's and don'ts." This writer obviously needs to get a life, cause it's clear she has no sense of adventure or appreciation for dining outside of the pristine laboratory in her head.
Are YOU Kidding?
Crikey.... The article starts off by calling itself a BLOG. That's what a Blog is, mindless drivel about what someone thinks. Deal with it and think before you overreact.
@Are you – This is not intended to be cut-throat, news-breaking journalism. As stated, above: it's a blog. And, to be quite fair, I think it is a very interesting venue for servers and patrons to attempt to understand one another (not everyone is here to b!tch and moan...) I think it's a neat way to understand what my customers might be thinking and to perhaps convey the server's POV to anyone truly interested in understanding it. It's enlightening...frustrating at times, but worth shuffling though the nonsense.
No one is making you participate.
Why has no one mentioned "DO YOU NEED CHANGE?" Ughhhh..... What's wrong with it is that it presumes a tip. Instead try "I'll be right back with your change" and if I don't need any, I'll tell you.
I posted the same thing above.
Yeah Annie, we get it, you hate it when asked if you need change.
When I served, I'd grab the book and say, "I'll be right back with this for you" Then, if they didn't need change, they would say so. It's not rocket science.
This is my number 1 restaurant pet peeve as well...
I was a waitress so I tip very well for great service and poorly for poor service. Waiters don't automatically get a good tip just because I once had the same job. Like any other profession, if you can't do it well don't do it. In addition to the above, my pet peeve when I'm eating out is when the waiter/waitress sits down at your table to take your order. It's presumptive and too familiar. You don't know if there's a heavy discussion going on... you're not friends with these people. It's called a "service industry" for a reason.
I'm a very easier customer and dont' ask for much (and I tip well), but I do get really frustrated when a server doesn't refill my drink (which is usually nothing more than water). To me, that should be a priority.
I have found that when a server comes back to the table every 5 minutes, it is either (a) they are new to serving and don't know what they are doing or (b) you are their last table of the night and they are trying to get out of there. Either way, it makes me crazy! Also, please don't palm the top of my glass when you place it on the table- disgusting. Oh, and another thing, if you bring the drinks over to the table on a tray, don't put the tray on the table- if you don't know how to use a tray- don't! ( I could go on forever..... and I used to be a server for many many years )
Being an ex-waiter of 6 1/2 years, I can only agree with maybe 25% of this article.
A lot of this is because we have other things to do besides help just YOUR table, most of us great servers handle upwards of 10 tables at a time, a little patience goes a long way in a restaurant.
If the waiter doesn't write down your order, 90% of the time they've been doing this long enough to memorize things, and will get it correct, I used to do that on a regular basis and screwed up maybe one out of 20 times.
Women, don't get angry when the check is given to the male of your little 2 person date. After hearing complaints from DOZENS of women about how Chivarly is dead, and how no man opens doors, pulls out chairs, or PAYS FOR DINNER, I always give it to the male of the date, considering that's how I would want it done.
Food Allergies...i understand not all people want to stay home and cook...but if you consistantly come back to the same place, and expect something that doesn't have nuts, butter, oil, salt or some other very general item, be ready for angry service. I've had customers come in with multiple allergies, then get overly angry when ordering becuase they could DIE....why even go out?...
And I leave you with this....The movie WAITING is 90% accurate....im not saying with 90% is true...but always remember,....if you're gonna be mean, impatient or tip horribly...stay home...
I have a question about your food allergy comment.
My 12 year old daughter is severely allergic to:
peanuts
wheat
cow's milk
beef
pork
fish/shellfish
chocolate/cocoa
Obviously, the child eats, as my dad puts it, chicken and ice cubes!! However, the rest of our family do not have such severe allergies, so we do go out to eat.
We typically go to places like Olive Garden, etc... not McDonalds but not a 5 star restaurant, either.
I have never expected ANY restaurant to cater to her allergies, simply b/c as her mom, I know how darn hard it is to make sure she has something she can eat safely.
What I typically do, when we go to a new restaurant, is call a day or so ahead and talk with the manager. I explain about her allergies, and make sure it will be OK if we bring something from home for her. I've never had a manager have a problem with this.
However, I've had servers who get very put out that we are a family of 5, but he/she is only going to get tipped for four people.
(I typically add about $10 to the total of the bill, then tip 20-25% based of service if the server DOESN'T act put out about her. So, say the bill is $50. I would add $10 to that, then calculate the tip based on $60, rather than $50, to make up for not ordering something for her.)
I'm almost positive that these same servers who get all bent out of shape b/c we've brought in food from home would be even more bent out of shape if I asked them to try to accommodate her allergies.
I've had servers make a big deal out of us not ordering for her.... *Server's finger stabbing in daughter's direction* "Are you not going to order for her?" or "What? Do you not let her eat?" Or some other rude comment that draws attention to my daughter, who lives her life being singled out ANYWAY..... UGH!
I always TRY to be courteous and understanding, but given the severity of her allergies, I'm certainly not willing to let her eat something that will kill her, just so a server can get a bigger tip, ya know?
Now, that being said, I've had servers who are genuinely interested in her allergies and WANT to learn more. I've always been very willing to share what I've learned and answer questions. I've had servers who have went WAY above and beyond for us, even finding out exactly what ingredients are in foods, so my daughter can enjoy SOMETHING that isn't from home, and those servers get my undying loyalty. :)
Very reasonable. While most (decent) servers would be very happy to arrange for something, alot of ingredients, spices, etc. are in bulk, and so are difficult to examine. While I'd have been happy to do the work, the responsibility for someone's safety in an area not in my expertise (food preperation safety like adequate cooking) is a bit much to ask. Avoiding cross contamination in particular would make me nervous.
The servers getting offended are not the best of the breed.
And this is why I would work one day a week in any restaurant I was a waitress at. I wanted to KNOW what I was serving to my guests. And because if this I had many “call tables” I can’t tell you how many times I had a call table come in with different friends because I could steer them in the correct direction of their diet.
Person “I’m on the XYZ diet.” Me “A, B & C follows that diet”
Wheat intolerant? No gravy on your chicken.
Can’t eat dairy? No mashed potatoes.
Are you a vegetarian? Then that 86’s the rice (chicken stock) baked potato (rolled in pork fat) and even the baked beans (sirloin steak in them)
I know all restaurants have different recipes; this was just for the last one I worked at.
One of my regulars had a child that had celiac and when something was brought from home I would always take the child’s meal to the kitchen, put it on a plate and then bring it out with the rest of the meal. Just like the rest of the party. Did it take me a second longer? Yes. But to “be just like everybody else at the table” for once was worth it to the child.
((Now I’m not talking about bringing McDonald’s in because it’s cheaper. that’s just rude.))
"I used to [not write down orders] on a regular basis and screwed up maybe one out of 20 times."
Great, so 5% of your orders came out wrong? Isn't part of the job getting them right?
"...I always give [the check] to the male of the date, considering that's how I would want it done."
I thought service was supposed to be about the customer, not you?
"Food Allergies...i understand not all people want to stay home and cook... I've had customers come in with multiple allergies, then get overly angry when ordering becuase they could DIE....why even go out?..."
I can see why people wouldn't want go out if they had to deal with you. I can't imagine why someone might get all bent out of shape because they might die or need to be rushed to the hospital if you or the kitchen screw up, or the menu doesn't list an ingredient that they're allergic to. Especially if you seem callous or dismissive of their problems. Again, this is supposed to be about them, not you.
Obviously, people also need to be understanding if the kitchen can't or won't (too busy, etc.) do special requests for them, or you have to go check to be sure of exactly what's in a dish, but this IS life or death for some people.
Grow up people, and use your words. If something is bothering you about your dinning experience TELL YOUR SERVER. Please remember we are all adults, and if you're respectful your server will be respectful. People who sit and pout (yes we see you, but we're ignoring your childish behavior) and then run to the internet to troll online review sites are a sub-species of human being and deserve a lousy dinning experience.
There's nothing more uninspiring than asking for a wine recommendation and getting the vague response, "Well what do *you* like?"
The average wine-consuming customer isn't going to recognize the particular label or vintage on 95% of what's listed. Wait staff should be trained to assist customers with their questions and make recommendations for various dishes based on actual tasting of the wines. This is both as a courtesy to the customer and an important way for the restaurant to increase revenue.
I'm a waiter right now in Malibu at an oceanside restaurant, and the wine question "What do you like" is not used because we the waitstaff are clueless to our wines, it's because we're clueless to what your palate is like. The better vocabulary is "what kind of wine do you like to have, or have you liked before". Please don't assume we ask questions because we don't know our selection, we ask them so we can better match your tastes to our menu.
I agree with Keith on this.
I do appreciate a personal recommendation (based on the server's own palate), but when one answers "well, what do you like?" I like that! I feel the sense of "we're in this together."
Now I'm more the patron that likes to learn the name of my server, and I always look them in the eye when I say anything, including when they pour water and when I say "Thank you".
Someone once told me that as a server, they sometimes feel invisible and no longer like a human being. Just someone that brings people things. :-/ I felt so bad when I heard this, that forever more I will always treat all my servers with dignity and appreciate them as a thinking and feeling human being.
(granted, some of my friends don't agree with this logic... but oh well~ )
I can appreciate that not everyone is a trained sommelier, but it is deflating to have to coach a recommendation out of a server. Half the fun of asking for a recommendation is the surprise of the selection. Asking what we like isn't the same as asking, reds or whites, sweet or mellow. One is lazy, waiting for us to tell him/her a specific choice, and the other is making an educated decision.
Asking questions is part of enjoying a good recommendation but asking "What do you like" negates the entire idea of a recommendation. At that point we should have just ordered for ourselves in the first place.
Why would you go ot to a restaurant and ask that kind of question to begin with, how educated are you about wine anyway and why would you leave the answer to that question with somwone who makes $4.00 per hour. Quit whining and get an education. his entitlement atmosphere here in this article is absurd.
So....someone that works at a lowly position waiting tables is not expected to know about wine? They are trained in decent descriptions (dry, sweet, fruity, oaky, etc).
Odds are your server has a very good knowledge of not only their menu, but wine in general. After all, dealing with the snots of customers generally turns us into alcoholics.
I enjoyed the Japanese restaurant I worked at the best. The management attitude was that we were supposed to be the experts on the food, sake, etc.
@Matt – I love you.
Aaron while I agree with the sentiment that a waiter/waitress should ideally have an intimate knowledge (and the restaurant should be providing this) of the menu, it seems obvious to me that a server would ask 'what do you like' so that they know where to begin. There are so many wine possibilities, you can't even assume a person wants white wine with their fish, people are very diverse. If the restaurant has 30 wines, it'd make sense to instead ask your server "what wine wine do you recommend with the fish? I like something really dry." or whatever. Give them something to work with.
Aaron, "What do you like" is a jumping off point to try to best pair the food the wine AND the customer. Oftentimes people ask for a wine suggestion before they've even ordered food. Other times, they have some idea of the food, but I have no idea if they gravitate toward sweet/dry/etc. If you weren't so hesitant to participate in the conversation, you might find that it doesn't necessarily end with the server saying, "Oh you like, chardonnay? Yeah, order the chardonnay then."
This article is ridiculous. I dont want this customer in my restaurant, nor anyone who agrees with this crap. There is no "cookie cutter" service routine. We try our best to make it what you want and gets flamed for it right or wrong. Serving customers is like a social exercise. It's never gonna be perfect for everyone. this person sounds like a business traveler who has to eat out all the time camplaining about flight/hotel/restaurant downfalls.
I agree! Well put. Don't be so hard to please people! How in the hell is a waiter or waitress suppose to know every little thing each unique individual may have a problem with or a phrase that you have an issue with using? Lighten up and enjoy the dining out experience for what it is. Otherwise, isle 7 has some great frozen meals where you can only have yourself to blame for the outcome. Signed, prior waitress and now frequent customer.
I agree! Well put. Don't be so hard to please people! How in the hell is a waiter or waitress suppose to know every little thing each unique individual may have a problem with or a phrase that you have an issue with using? Lighten up and enjoy the dining out experience for what it is. Otherwise, isle 7 has some great frozen meals where you can only have yourself to blame for the outcome. Then again, the cashier probably rang it up too slow? Too fast? Didn't ask paper or plastic? Signed, prior waitress and now frequent customer.
As a server I am disgusted by how much people complain about us. Serve yourselves if you have such a HUGE problem with the way other people do. It doesn’t matter how attentive or non-attentive your server is you’ll find something to complain about, customers always do. What I hate is the snickering when servers make one little mistake. I’m sorry I thought I was a human being too, my mistake. This is a job/career for many people and we don’t make minimum wage so customers open your wallets wide because when you leave us less than 20% it’s a slap to our face and our paychecks. IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD THE TIP DON’T COME OUT TO EAT!
I am more than happy to open my wallet for good service, and even mention the good service to the managers. But if I get bad service, I don't owe a decent tip. Tips are for good service. Maybe the wait staff should be complaining to the management about giving them a decent wage instead of raising prices so the meal is so expensive people have a choice of eating or tipping! They're getting enough money for the food to afford to pay the wait staff better. I've been in many restaurants where the wait staff are leaning on the counter talking to each other and laughing while no one is waiting the table. Or had to ask for butter 4 times (in a nearly empty restaurant) before someone brings it. Or they bring it after the meal is done. I have a continuous problem with the fact that my husband has a British accent. Waiters and waitresses seem to love it and either need to chat with him about where he's from, has he ever met the queen, tell him how they could listen to him talk all day, etc instead of taking the order. And if I want something, I have to tell him so he can tell the waiter because I'm invisible once he starts to talk. And it annoys him too – not just me. He just wants to eat, not explain his personal life to everyone. And how about if the waiter just writes down what you ordered? I can't count the times I've ordered a rack of ribs, and they say "do you want a 1/2 rack?" If I wanted a 1/2 rack, I would have ordered it. If there's a question, they can just repeat the order back to you to clarify, not make it sound like you're a pig to get a full rack. The cost difference between 1/2 and full rack is small enough that I always get a full rack and take home any extras. I shouldn't have to explain that every time I order.
I think being a perceptive waiter or bartender is essential to the job so when I hear other workers in the industry complain about how bad their table is I normally give the benefit to the patrons instead of the complainers. If I could make changes in the industry it would be perceptions and expectations – on both sides. If every server remembered that the patron is a guest in the establishment and if every patron would remember that they are a guest and should behave likewise then the entire situation would be smoother. It is my experience that fantastic service results in happier customers and happier customers are, on average, enthusiatic when it comes to spending money. If servers expect excellent tips then it is fair for the customer to expect excellent service. It's hard not to go into ultra manager mode right now, I could probably talk about this sort of service industry dynamic for an hour, but like I said, the most beneficial changes could be made to perceptions and expectations.
Right on the money
This was the most (perhaps only) insightful response. Well said.
Awesome logic!
You should think about giving seminars and training sessions for various restaurants and businesses! That way, servers work happily and patrons dine happily! Then establishment makes money, trains up capable and good servers for future career development, and patrons rave with great reviews and they'll have a loyal following! Perfect :)
Great points, Jarrod! Re: behaving like a guest, while that would mean behaving yourself and having great manners (which is always ideal), a patron isn't really a 'guest' since they are paying to be there. When you're a guest, you need to graciously accept the hospitality, whether it's to your standard or not. If you don't like it, you don't 'visit' again, but you have no standing to complain, as a guest.
But when you're paying, you do have a certain 'right' to expect a certain standard of service/product commensurate with what you're paying, at least. A restaurant/server is providing a paid service/product.
But in general I agree with everyone behaving a little more graciously towards one another!
You are quite right Christy, when money is exchanged there is a relationship change from guest to customer. I was hoping to convey the give and take necessary for a mutually beneficial service experience. It is not only important for the individual consumer to voice their concerns tactfully in hopes of a good resolution but it is absolutely vital for the server/bartender to have the chance to grow as an employee and as a person. I think this concept stretches far beyond the walls of a restaurant. Thank you for clarifying my words while preserving the spirit of their intent. (And a hearty thank you for all the others who have commented on my post!)
Honestly, most of the customers complaining here are just not going to tip well period. I know many people like this. I have family members that go out to eat and expect "professionalism" from the server and a server to guess exactly what their personal preferences are and if they guess wrong they will get penalized with a bad tip. And let's face it : they were going to leave a bad tip to begin with. Learning how to be served and how to treat a server is essential. You either learn that from your parents or through actually working in the food industry. Waiters get paid minimum wage in restaurants and depend on tips to make any money. You all know that. It's not a requirement to leave a tip but you all know that essentially that waiter is not making any money unless you tip well. As to the "That's not my problem" "It's all about the customers" people. In your comments there is a thick sentiment of disdain for waiters that honestly most people who grew up going to restaurants, good restaurants, just don't have. As for waiters, learn your skill to it's highest form and serve at a very expensive restaurant. Yes, you will still have horrible rude customers but also a higher set of customers who know how to dine, what to order, will not split as many checks, and can afford to tip and will tip very well more often than not.
@susy – So much truth to that statement: "Learning how to be served and how to treat a server is essential." With the petty complaints and arrogance I've seen on this board, it's hard to imagine that ANY of those posters will ever receive service to their satisfaction.
Not all servers are gum-smacking, lethargic, un-education monkeys. Many of us are articulate, ambitious, well-mannered men and women who will cater to your demands (no matter how outrageous), with the hope that they will be reciprocated with the same respect they gave to you (and a couple bucks). So much of these nit-picky complaints stem from the sheer fact that people want to be dissatisfied; people want something for free; and people want to justify tipping poorly. It makes our job very discouraging, because sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just can't evoke the positive response we seek. Humor your server: if they deserve positive feedback and positive reinforcement, perhaps give it to them? It encourages them to continue working hard and strive to do even better.
"Why is it that every time I sit down to eat at a restaurant they wait forever for my date/friend/significant other to arrive "
-Take it as a compliment. If you were ugly, obese, smelly or otherwise unattractive... they probably wouldn't assume such things.
Honestly, most of the stuff listed here really doesn't bother me. But maybe I'm one of those strange guys with a strange girlfriend. I order the heavier foods (steaks, ribs, etc) while she tends toward chicken and pasta plates. No one has ever bothered her about cleaning a plate because she looks like she could use it (we both keep very active and in shape) And when all is said and done, I pick up the check. Again, maybe that makes US the crazy folk.
Really, the only thing that would bother me is general rudeness. If the waiter/waitress is cordial, smiles and acts like they actually enjoy what they're doing, I won't have a problem with them.
Agree . It was the first thing I thought of when I read the complaint. Perhaps it's hard to believe some one so attractive would be alone. It's not necessarily pity nor presumption. Being so easily offended at such behavior makes me wonder who is more conscious of being alone.
I think the only reason you posted here was to tell the world that you and your girlfriend are thin, and that you're courteous and rich.
Oh, so if someone – by your standards – "ugly, obese, smelly, or otherwise unattractive" decides to dine out, it should be assumed they are doing so alone because they couldn't possibly be with other people? As someone who could stand to lose a few pounds, I have until recently put up with dickheads like you my entire life. You know what, here's a big ol' plate of Go **ck yourself!
I would prefer that the waiter not interrupt when I or others in my party are talking, unless it is to TAKE the order. To interrupt to ask if everything is okay is rude.
God how arrogant! What if your steak isn't cooked how you ordered it? You'd rather just eat it anyway instead of having the server check to make sure you like it? Get over yourself.
Joe if you steak wasn't cooked how we ordered it, we'll find you. We'll look around and make eye contact and let you know that we need something. If you're a good server, you'll be in the general area anyway, or will be back very shortly. Just be *around* and if we need something, we can easily get your attention. It's rude to interrupt a person's conversation under pretty much any circumstances, unless it's something urgent.
So let me get this striaght Christy, on top of balancing a full section of tables, running food, bussing tables, making change, getting drinks at the bar...we're also supposed to time every tables conversation so we can interject with a quick, "How is everything here"? Please. Part of dining out is allowing the server to do their job. It takes ONE SECOND to say "Yes, everything is fine". Man, I would never want to wait on a stuffy priss like you.
No Joe, I don't expect you to time our conversations, I'm well aware that you're busy and that I'm just one of many customers. I'd actually rather a waiter be too scarce than too interrupty. I don't flag waiters down and treat them like servents. I wait until they're around if I need something, and ask nicely. Many times I've gotten up and walked over to them and asked them for whatever I need whenever they have a second. I don't think I'm above a waiter/waitress, I just don't like when *anyone* interrupts my conversation needlessly, it's rude. 'Everything ok?' is not necessary enough to warrant an interruption. In finer establishments, the waiter just comes by your table, looks around (a silent, uninterrupting 'everything OK') and knows that if you need something, you'll ask while he's right there.
We didn't have a choice either. In fact, our corporate policy stated "2 minutes/2 bites", meaning that's when we had to get back to the table and VERBALLY ask how everything was; once again, people take EVERYTHING out on the waiter when really he/she is just doing as they're told.
Fair enough Joe, I'm getting an education, too, reading info from waiters/waitresses here. Understood that it's often a corporate requirement, not the server's choice. But it also happens at non-corporate places too. I know it's well-intentioned, I'd just appreciate if people would not interrupt IF they have a choice in the matter.
I agree. If it is obvious that the diners are engaged in conversation, then interrupting them mid-sentence is rude rude rude. If the dining professional wants to check in, I appreciate that very much, but if they stand nearby or hover and we are engaged in light conversation, we'll stop and turn our attention to the waitstaff. But if we are discussing something intense and thoughtful, we won't.
We usually don't have a choice. The restaurant I worked at required us to stop back after dropping off the food and ask, and there is almost never a time when someone at a table isn't talking. I could get fired for not asking. I try to time it as best I can and not cut someone off, but there's only so much you can do.
I hate when you pay in cash and they ask, "Do you need change?"
I'm with you on that one..posted the same thing above.
Quite right. _NEVER_ ask that question. Take the money to the till, make the right change in bills/coins small enough to allow a correct tip and put it back on the table with a smile and a "thank you". And _mean it_, darnit!
Why? Just say yes or no to save us both time if you've included the tip. Why make your server make an extra trip to the table if they don't have to.
Servers ask about making change because they are trying to use their time efficiently. I've been a server for many years and have never asked this in an attempt to shake down my customers. I simply do not want to waste time making change if not needed. I can then move onto another important task and perhaps serve you better.
But Linda, it's not about the server's time, it's about the customer. I don't buy the logic 'it allows the servers to better serve the customers, by saving time', that's an excuse. As you can see here, NO ONE likes that question and it's just plain bad manners, whether it saves you 30 seconds or not.
'I don't want to waste time making change and another trip to the table' is laziness. While I can imagine that's exactly how I'd feel, too, if I were a waitress, the fact of the matter is that a server is there to make the diner's experience a good one. We all do things in our jobs (for other people who we 'serve' in whatever way) in a way that is to their preference, not our own. It's called doing your job well.
Bottom line: If you are a guest paying in cash and you don't need change, tell your server that you are all set and let them go about their other business. If you are a server and someone pays in cash, assume that they need change no matter how much or how little and return it with a smile. If everyone were to adopt these habits the "Do you need change?" question would slowly become a thing of the past.
Yes Christy. It's about the CUSTOMERS. Not just you. YOU are taking time away from other customers. You are not the only customer.
As a server, I do agree that asking, "Do you need change?" is not the most tactful way to go about it. TIP TO FELLOW SERVERS: If you haven't already gathered it from reading these comments, people usually appreciate the phrase "I'll be right back with your change," over asking the question.
But patrons: there are always exceptions and you really should consider that before you go all ape over petty things such as this; it's not the worst crime a server could commit. In the hour or more you just spent with them, did they deliver to you all the things you need in a timely manner? Were they polite? Efficient? Maybe even charming and enjoyable to be around? That really is the bulk of it, isn't it?
When it comes to the check, we don't want to be rude...TRUST ME. (Well...the good servers don't.) We know we're working for our income and to make a decent one, we have to impress you (after all, our employer generally pays us in the realm of about $2.33/hour. Yikes). The is just one of the many *small* things a server might overlook while trying to do their job effectively. (...attempting to limit the amount of trips we make to a table is EFFICIENT; this is not laziness. [You will know when a server is lazy]. This is a skill servers must possess...it's an absolute necessity to do our job well...it's called Consolidating. Thirty seconds is thirty seconds. Period.)
Try to relax, Patrons. Food is meant to be enjoyed. And, I'm sorry, if you're going out to a restaurant, us servers come with the package...and we're people too. Putting on that stupid little apron doesn't make us perfect little robots meant to do your bidding precisely the way YOU expect it to be done. We want you to enjoy your meal...and the majority of us will take great strides to ensure you enjoy your time; however, if you go into it with all these little irritations and with the expectation of failure you are bound to find SOMETHING that ruins your night.
Give us a chance to impress you; we usually try really hard to do so.
I'm with you. That is my biggest pet peeve. I think it is pompous to ask the customer if they want their change. That's a huge assumption that A) your service was worthy of a tip, and B) your expectation of a tip misses the entire point of what a gratuity actually is.
Anna, on average servers are paid under $4 per hour, and almost all of those wages go to taxes. The only money they make to live on (Pay rent, buy groceries, pay for transit to and from work, etc.) is from tips. Even if the service is poor in your eyes, at least leave 10%. To the server that at least says you did your job, but not well at all, step it up. And they can afford to make it home from work that night.
Annie -
I'm sorry that your server inadvertently offended you by asking if you needed change. I think you are the one being rude though. Its a reasonable question. As a server, I don't remember that your check was $40...and..as a server..I'm not Rainman who can count the money on the table just by glancing at it. So I don't really know there is $60 there and therefore; trying to shake you for a $20 tip.
Anna,
As a server I DO expect a tip. It's part of American culture when you go out to eat. This isn't Europe or Australia where tipping is customary. Tips are where I make my money. So yes, every table that I serve I expect a tip. Granted I personally say "I'll be right back with your change" but to say servers in this country are wrong for expecting a tip is, well, wrong.
@Cathym – Even if the service is bad, leave me a tip anyway??? Are you kidding me? Here's your tip – if you want me to pad your paycheck, give me good service. 10% of a $100 bill is still 10 bucks and WAY TOO MUCH for terrible service. If the service is bad, you don't deserve even a small reward. This isn't pre-school where you get rewarded for half-@ssing your work.
@Kelly – I tip well. I've been a server before and I know how hard it can be. But, the bottom line is, when you EXPECT a tip, people EXPECT good service. You are right about this not being Europe. We have an unwarranted sense of entitlement that makes us a joke to them. I probably work just as hard for my money as you do. If you want me to give you an additional 18+% of my bill as a gift to you, earn it. Certainly, don't ask me as I hand you my money if I need change, as if you expect to not have to bring it.
Sorry, that was @Host, not Cathym.
Keven,
Would you prefer that your server counts the money right in front of you so they don't have to ask you that question? Your server is not RAINMAN who can see a pile of cash and know automatically that its a 40 check and there is 60 there, so of course they need change.
You are not your server's only table, ok? There is this whole concept of "other people" Do you really think your server can: 1) count your cash just be a cursory glance?; and 2) remember the exact amount of your check to begin with even though your server has 8 or 9 other tables?
cut your server some slack.."Do you need change?" is not an unreasonable question.
Hi there, Eatocracy. I'm a graduate of University of Florida with a B.S. in psychology. I am also, incidentally, a full-time waitress, as well as a student pursuing a nursing degree. I'm not going to lie, my blood boiled ever so slightly as I read this article, and I was relieved to see an invitation for counter-complaints from our side of the table at the end of the article. So here we go! I have a few.
1.) "I thought you forgot about us!" is passive-aggressive display of dissatisfaction with the server's pace. We know you're not watching us as we're attempting to wrangle drink orders from another 8 top that doesn't speak any English, or trying to get our managers to comp another table's food that came out improperly, but please believe me when I say that unless you actually saw your server standing around idly for longer than 20 seconds, they haven't forgotten about you, and they're actively trying to prioritize a plethora of other tasks, a list which may not necessarily be topped by getting you another ramekin of ranch dressing. If we brought it to you, even if it took a minute or two longer than you might've prefered, we didn't forget you. Please be patient.
2.) A 17-top says, "We'd like to split checks." It is unreasonable and irresponsible to demand that your server remain vigilant of splitting up all of your checks properly in parties of 8 or more. They already have their hands more than full trying to keep all of your drinks full and to clear plates, and it becomes incredibly difficult to provide good service and maintain track of this many details. Not to mention trying to run 17 credit cards at the end of the meal– or even worse, make change for 17 people who paid cash and couldn't be bothered to pool their money!– is an arduous task that usually results in the neglect of other tables, and in a long wait for the big party themselves. If you insist on dining in large groups, assign someone from your party to collecting funds at the end of the meal, or split everything evenly between all attendees.
3.) The sugar caddy is not a toy. Neither are the salt and pepper shakers. Keep them away from your child.
4.) If your children do not know how to behave in a restaurant, do not take them to restaurants. I am not a babysitter.
Whats worse is when they "oh, we'll put them back in the sugar" and then just force everything haphazardly back in all wrinkled and disheveled.
Don't mean to be annoying, but I do have a problem with what you said, from the customer's POV.
2.) A 17-top says, "We'd like to split checks."
Sometimes this is the only way you can do things. Not everyone can "pool cash". I'm sorry if you are busy or hassled. I feel for you, and in every other respect, I will do my best to make your life easier. But this is your job. If you don't like it, you need to swap with another server for their 2 person party. Separating the checks for 17 people might be a bit of pain, but it doesn't take THAT much extra time, and the customers have every right to expect to be able to do it.
If the attitude your wrote with here is how you serve your customers, it probably isn't a mystery why you are having bad experiences with them.
I hear you, a lot of restaurants have policies posted on their menus that say parties of 8 or more cannot split checks. If it really is a hassle to a server or if it happens a lot and lowers the quality of service to other groups, than talk to your management to see if they can start a policy like that.
We dont mind splitting checks and have no problem doing that if a customer or group requests it at the START of the meal and not after the check has been delivered. Should we ask the table before the orders are taken if the checks are split? No I dont give a flying fart who is paying. Go to a buffet restaurant if you are going to bring 17 people. dumbass
Here's the thing. I've worked in a lot of restaurants and never once did the restaurant, as policy, accept splitting checks on parties of 8 or more. Anytime it was done it was solely at the discretion of the server; the server ususally was taking a big chance on losing out on tips becuase it is next to impossible to allocate out the 18 – 20% gratuity automatically added to large parties. Have I done it, sure...did I want to or did I do it at a busy time...definitely not.
I have worked in F&B before and when it comes to splitting checks – that's all fine and good, but it is helpful when you can state that you will need separate checks BEFORE ordering if you are a very large party (I would by no means expect a table who was splitting it 2 or 3 ways to let me know first though).
Also, I know that in the last restaurant I worked in – the orders HAD to go in the computer ALL together or otherwise the kitchen would get 17 separate orders for that table, which often just made a mess of things and resulted in the orders not coming out all at once. Oh. and one more thing, please don't play musical chairs if you want to get the right check.
Gosh really.. that 17 top table that wants to split checks should explain to all the other customers why their waiter is not going to be able to tend to their needs for a while. In a busy restaurant, that waiter cannot get assistance from someone else because other people are in need of help too. I hope that you show the same patience you are requiring from your server and don't complain when a waiter takes a while to get to your needs. Maybe they are splitting checks for a 17 top table. The problem here is most people are not brought up to understand how to be served. Therefore they are impatient and rude with servers because for the first time they get to feel superior to someone else. Or they are uncomfortable with being served or they know they are going to leave a bad tip and don't want to get too friendly with the person they are going to screw over. There is an etiquette and level of class that comes with being served. Many people don't deserve it.
Splitting a check 17 ways would certainly take a long time, at least 10 min. In server time that'd be an eternity. I'd hope that if you demanded it, you'd take the extra time into account and bump that tip up more than a bit.
Your a complete idiot if you think that it doesn't take long time to split a 17 top come on really. Why do you right now for shits and gigs make 17 dummy orders composed of drinks, apps, main courses, and desserts. Then note that some of these 17 are couples or familys. So now you not only have to split the 17 you have to remember what everyone ordered and then split it into the approriate bills based on the couple and the family. Then instead of you tipping them based on each check tip on the total and you splity that by 17 yourself. If you don't tell them ahead of time it would be polite of you to just say split it between all 17 or if it's couples or a family split it 6 ways. Don't itemize your food bill at the table you just all look like douches. Tell us in the beginning. It works both ways. You want us to be polite and thoughtful servers. Be polited and thoughtful patrons. Most servers don't hate their jobs. We do it because it's great money and we LOVE people. I love being a server/bartender. I have a full time job and just for fun and extra money I work 2 nights a week. I'm critical of servers because I'm a good one so I know what they're doing wrong. Not being timely about spliting a check for 17 when you didn't tell them about it to begin with is no them being a bad server. Your just being a pain and causing other people in the restaurant to get slower service. Be considerate.
Just to defend our nurse/waitress, from a waitress POV. According to you, splitting a 17 top check 17 ways doesn't take THAT much extra time. Where I work, it would probably take a good 10 to 15 minutes to run 17 cards, simply standing there waiting for the machine. If I had other tables I would have to do some serious multitasking in between waiting for the cards to go through, and that 17 top would get impatient.
I personally find it a little tacky and petty when people can't pool their money/take turns treating, and have to count down to the penny what everyone ordered – not just as a server, but a diner too.
It does take alot longer to do seperate checks...Just be patient and realize that.
you should try being a server may be you will understand.
Have you ever BEEN a server?? I think not, if you are going to say that kind of crap. I love large parties, and I don't mind separating the checks. BUT... if you want that, please be courteous and tell me at the onset. Don't move around during the meal. In a perfect world, your large table would be the only one I had but odds are that you need to be aware that you aren't my only table. Dealing with a last-minute "oh, and we need separate checks" demand is taking away from all of the other customers that I am helping. Me tying up the computer – depending on the establishment, it could be the only one – also affects every other diner in the restaurant. Sorry that you missed the beginning of the play, but I couldn't get to the register to run your credit card because of a large party. Why would THAT be even remotely important to the customers that don't even know you?
You're the kind of customer that gets spit in their food. :)
You've obviously never worked in a restaurant. I never minded accomdating speerate check requests at the beginning of a meal, but after the meal IT IS TOO LATE! Most places now use computer systems and after the meal it is impossible to matchup who had what drinks with what appetizer and what entree. Bozo!
REALLY? splitting up 17 orders doesn't take that much time?
rationally think about this .. if you have to separate an order that will probably be well over $200 into 17 different bills, and THEN give each party their exact change (or deal with a card machine that takes about a minute .. 17 minutes for that ALONE), can you REALLY say that it doesn't take "THAT much amount of time"??
get real and get off your high horse.
i don't mind splitting checks for big parties, and i always ask at the beginning if the table would like split checks, you all have position points and i hit a couple buttons and everything splits up by those position points, it is annoying if they didn't say they wanted to at the beginning and they tell you at the end and they've been getting up throughout the meal and switched chairs countless times, tell us at the beginning it is easier for me and you get the bill quicker
if i've split the bill 17 ways and you all need change back, i will need to (most of the time) go an get change from the bartender or our bakery (which does to go orders, so sometimes i have to wait for them to finish with their guests before getting change), and then close out all the checks and make sure you all have the right change, it takes a little bit, cards are much easier and quicker
AMEN.
I'm guilty of occasionally letting my two year old play with the sugar packets at casual family restaurants. I bring toys to keep him entertained, but those stupid little packets are infinitely more interesting. Sorry - I really do try to put them back neatly.
Thanks for trying to clean it up, but some people might not like touching it after a 2 year old. That's going to go in someone's drink, it's not a toy.
It actually is surprisingly hard to split up a check sometimes. I know on our system it won't let you split a check into more than 4 parts per table number.. So for a 17 top it would be literally impossible for our system to break it out into 17 individual checks. You would have had to ask the server to split the check before you even ordered, so you could get 4 checks per each table number that had been pulled together for the 17. Just a little forethought is greatly appreciated.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN A SERVER, BUT- RIGHT ON AMY.
As a server at a restaurant without autograt, I actually prefer when large parties split a check. Once the tab gets over $100, I have noticed that people have a really hard time parting with a $20 to cover the tip. Take that same example $100 tab and split it 4 ways, and it makes it a lot more likely I'm going to earn the amount I deserve for not being able to serve other tables because the large party filled my section. On the flip side, if I could autograt large parties, I'd hate splitting checks too :)
I completely agree with you! The only exception I can say is that if the 17-top tells me when they're placing their orders that they are going to be requesting separate checks, I don't mind it nearly as much. Yes, it is a pain to run 17 credit cards or make all of that change when we have our own banks. But knowing from the onset that it is coming makes it 100% better at the end of their meal.
Oh and even as a patron, I have to cheer for your final point: Don't let your kids run loose. If they're not capable of behaving in a restaurant, don't bring them with you. I have been tripped by children who didn't stay seated, and it is aggravating. MY kids remain seated except for a trip to the restroom as needed, and that one is direct and back again.
Bravo to you, educated server-lady! :)
two pet peeves: i hate "are you still working on that?" as if i'm gnawing on something; also, if i say thank you, don't respond with "no problem" – just say "you're welcome" – it shouldn't be a "problem" – it's your job; i always give servers the benefit of the doubt, but don't act so casual with the "no problem" and "are you still working on that" lines
I completely agree–"are you still working on that?" makes it sound like eating the meal is a chore. I would think that restaurant staff would WANT to evoke some different imagery, perhaps asking instead, "are you still enjoying that?" or something along those lines.
I was taught (by my parents who went so some etiquette training), that when you are done eating your meal, you place your knife and your upside-down fork in the 4 o'clock position. That way, heaven forbid, the server should ask you any questions, and thus becomes a wordless exchange. Unfortunately, no one seems to know this, and still asks me when I do.
Yeah, heaven forbid you have to speak to a lowly server. They should avert their eyes too... who do they think they are?
Bitter much?
If going out to eat is this traumatic for you perhaps you should just fire up a frozen dinner at home where nobody will ask if you're happy with it....... Hon.
One of the real rewards of being a server is that people come into your world with a real, basic, human need: They're Hungry. There's an art to being Of-Service without being obsequious, polite and cheerful without being annoying and sensitive enough to people to provide for their needs without intruding on their personal space. A good server adjusts the tempo of his or her performance to the client's rythm and believe me, it _is_ a performance. It's all about your client; it's your client's meal, table and moment. Done well, you make your restaurant famous, if only in the mind of that one person that one time.
It's an honor to be a professional server. It's not easy work, but the rewards are far greater than just the paltry tip. You can change the outcome of your client's day for the better and do something good with your efforts.
Amen! If more "servers" saw their work as an opportunity to be "of service" and not just a job, all of these complaints on both sides of the plate would vanish.
Have you ever waited on tables? I didn't think so... If more people realized they have to "pay" for a service, more servers would probably be more than happen to provide it, but being that most of the time when someone is running you around and working your butt on, there isn't much compensation behind it, so sure I have no problem when the person is willing to pay for it...
Bravo to you Bill!
You are the reason I go out to eat!
And that's why I return to places again and again and again.
I love good service and smart servers!
The servers are truly the ones that create the dining experience for patrons. When well known servers leave, I feel that part of my dining experience in that restaurant is missing! :(
Even if this restaurant charges $20 more for something that is charged $7 across the street, and somehow, our check always comes out more than we thought... (accidental 2nd, 3rd rounds of drinks, extra desserts, and shared appetizers, anyone?) We will ALWAYS return. Even for a quick drink/snack, just to say hi to the wonderful servers.
Nicely said, Bill. If your attitude were adopted by virtually everyone who deals with customers, the world would be a vastly better place.
Amen to all that you've said!!
I do not believe you are a server. Really? You are what? A public servant. Working as a server for the good feeling you get taking care of hungry folks at a restaurant and not the money. Bull!
I agree. Doesn't sound at all like a server wrote that.
And I am someone who truly enjoys serving for some of the reasons Bill mentions. But the experience is easily ruined by rude and/or cheap customers. Because as much as I might bend over backwards to please you, the customer, if you don't like my work you rarely say it to my face, you take it out on me monetarily.
GOT ISSUES?
Yeah, my first thought was that sounds like something a front-of-the-house manager would say when they try to give a lame pep talk. That said, when I waited tables I did take some pride in doing it well. I wasn't cheerful or chatty or their to brighten their day, but I was there to be professional and get them their meal in the smoothest manner possible. That said, even if all servers were noble martyrs, it would not end complaints like the guy above suggested. Fact is, you're dealing with a basic human need and when people are hungry and things go wrong, they understandably get cranky. I can cope with that. But it's hard to keep a high level of service when you give your all to a table and they shaft you on the tip. Even the prozac poppin poster here would feel sucker punched.
when a waiter knocks something over on the table; spills a drink... not only that but be polite ask if I would like you to get that before your hands, my hands, my partners hands all end up jumbled together knocking more things over! 1 of us could easily handle the spill, just grin and apologize and ask if I need help!
What I find annoying is after you have received the check and place the money with it and they say do you need change? most of the time without even looking at, I so want to answer, no I'm feeling generous and want to give you $60.00 bucks for a $42.00 tab! after that question, I want to leave them nothing! But, I don't, lots of friends in the service industry!
What is wrong with leaving a $18 tips with a $60 meal? You are just cheap, the servers are just being polite to ask you, do you rather them come and snap the bill without saying anything? I've tip $20 for my $30 meal before, because I received excellent service. If everyone is as cheap as you no one that works in the industry can survive.
I think she meant she put out a $100 for a $42 bill. Meaning she was owed $58 in change.
You're a dumb ass. If you'd do your math, you'd understand that this person implied that a $100 bill was left for a $40+ tab, leaving approximately $60.00 in change that a server assumed was a tip. I don't care who you are or what you did, but I would never leave a tip that big. It's so very simple – just do your job and EARN a decent tip. (Please notice the word "earn" is emphasized).
Sorry, but the "do you need change" gambit is nothing more than trying to embarrass customers into leaving a more generous tip than may have been earned. The correct thing to do is bring the change and allow the customer to decide what tip to leave. If the customer is ready to leave and doesn't need the change brought back, believe me they will make it known.
20% on a $42 tab is $8.40 not $18!!!
So – when are they supposed to ask if you need change? Are they supposed to pick up the check and cash, count it up, calculate what tip they think you might grace them with, and then ask?
Marie – you DON'T ask ANYONE if they need/want change!!! EVER!!! Repeat after me: A tip is not mandatory and is based on MY performance.
Marie are you serious?? Do you not eat in restaurants much?
The server gives the customer the check. The customer gives the server some cash of equal or greater value to the amount owed. The server then takes that cash (along with the check), walks over to a cash register, put cash INTO the register of an equal to amount to what is owed and returns to the customer's table with the excess cash/change. Then, the customer decides how much tip to leave, which may be greater or less than the money given to them by their server. Upon leaving, the customer leaves said tip on the table. Then, the server picks it up. That's how tipping works when paying with cash.
I've always appreciated when a waiter or waitress says " I'll be right back with your change...". There's no asumption made about how much of a tip will be left.
They aren't supposed to ask at all! Just bring my change back to me and I'll leave your tip on the table. Simple.
Marie – uh, NO. They bring the change back to you so you can decide how much to leave. Tip much???
I work as a waiter and when I pick up a cash payment I simply state "I'll be right back with your change." Nine times out of ten if a customer wants me to keep the change they tell me then.
I used to be a server and I would occassionally ask this question. I can tell you why. Sometimes I would get to work, let's say at 5:00. As soon as my shift starts, I have 5 tables who all need drinks and need their orders taken. No big deal, I can handle that. But, now it's 5:45 and all 5 of my tables need change. Mr. Smith at Table 1 just took my whole bank because he paid with a hundred and the bartendar is now so slammed, that if I ask him or her for change, it will either take 5 minutes (during which time, my customers are becoming more and more impatient), or they simply won't have it available. Now, tables 2-5 need change and table 1 is resat and needs drinks and orders taken. I don't see the need to run around looking for change when it's very possible that I will finally find it, bring it back to the table, only to find that the customers have already left and now all my other tables are unhappy because they have been neglected.
The point I am trying to make here is that no matter the situation, there is usually a reasonable explaination for why servers do the things that they do. If everyone could be respectful (servers and patrons) of each other, everyone could enjoy the dining experience.
Blaire, I see your point however none of what you stated is MY concern as your customer. Not my problem if the restaurant is understaffed.
In reply to Blair's reply, if I hand over cash with the bill, and I don't want change back, I will TELL him or her that I don't need change. For a server to ask that of a customer is just plain rude, and well as being easily misconstrued as pressuring for a tip. Generally, if I am paying and tipping all at once, I will leave the cash on the table and leave.
If it bothers you that much, pay with a credit/debit card so you can write the tip amount you want to give. That way, you don't have to worry about the server actually talking to you. Bet you would be mad if they didn’t asked and kept the change?
Mickey not everyone uses a credit/debit card. And, WHY would a server keep the change without asking???? That's called theft, actually. A server is never allowed to decide their own tip. It's not difficult to understand.
Unless I told them when they picked up my money to keep the change, I would call the police if they just kept any change due me.
It's not always about trying to get a bigger tip. It's a rushed business and the objective is to save time.
The optimum solution, and how I trained the new servers, is a declarative statement. "I'll be right back with your change". It prompts those that don't need change to say so, without appearing to pressure those that want change.
I know that many servers have to make their own change out of pocket which can leave you in a pinch with a lot of people pay with cash. Even those than have a register to work out of are probably just trying to save themselves the time of making change for you if you don't need it. It is uncomfortable with a guest pays with cash and you go to make them change finding that they left you a total amount to cover the bill and around a 20% tip. The server assumes that all is well and goes back to say thank you and good bye only to find out that the guest expected change. Oops! That said, a server shouldn't ask about change and should just make it unless they are told otherwise. Never assume that the change is your tip because that money really isn't yours until the guest leaves.
I always stated "I will be right back with your change." This way the customer could say no if they wanted to but not be put on the spot.
Well, we ask if you need change when we pick up your book because it would be rude to whip open the book in front of you and calculate your bill right there. Especially in a busy restaurant, if you reply, "no, thank you, have a good evening!" it will save us a trip back to your table so we may serve the rest of our customers and stop us from hovering over you when you are trying to leave. On the other hand, if you do need change, we will not have to awkwardly ask you afterward, "so, how much of this do you want back? Can I have my 20%? Or is it 15% tonight?"
Really, please don't take offense to it. If your server asks you if you need change they are most likely trying to be polite. We can't read your mind, sorry, but we're not going to swipe your payment off the table without saying anything, and we're definitely not going to paw through your dirty money in front of other customers in the dining room so we can save ourselves from asking you those innocent four words: do you need change? Please, think of these options next time you wonder why the hell your server would ever ask you such a question, I mean, you are eating out, and that's their job, right?
It doesn't matter. It's the opposite of polite to ask a customer if they need change. It's putting them on the spot, and it should never be done. Simply bring them their change and let them tip accordingly. I can honestly say I take money off the tip if they ask me that. And I'm usually quite a generous tipper, but it really irks me.
Honestly, I don't take offense to being asked about change, but as many servers and former servers have said, it's just as easy to say "I'll be right back with your change," to give the customer an opening to tell the server to keep it. As someone who dines out on a regular basis, that doesn't bother me at all. Of course, I'm a pretty mellow patron. If the service is good, the tip is good. If the service isn't good, the tip is lower. I never stiff my server or blame them for anything that's not their fault (I hope) and everyone has a good time.
I don't like this one either. It's best to say, "I'll be right back with your change." And then I'll be the one to stop you and say "keep the change" or say nothing at all.
I understand if you're bothered because it seems like the server is assuming they are getting a huge tip. But as a server, when someone hands me a closed book I don't want to stand at the table counting their cash to see if they left enough to cover the tab or not. I consider THAT rude. If I ask if you want change back, all I'm asking is, "Have you looked at your check yet, and are you ready for me to process it, and did you leave cash or card(s)?" Because sometimes it is really not clear.
Rodney, I *Pee-Pee* on your head again! please stop commenting and go get ready for your dinner shift tonight! it's Friday! and NO don't pee-pee in someone's water tonight just 'cuz i pee-peed on you tonight! LOL
I think this is one of the biggest misunderstandings. While I do not do this, I can tell you that it is really not the serving being overly presumptuous but trying to save extra steps. We can't see through the check presenter. We don't know if there is a 50 or a 100 in there. What we do know is that if you say, "No. the change is yours." We don't have to return to your table and waste a trip bringing you change you are going to leave as a tip anyway. When it is busy every second counts and servers are just trying to save time. But I have found that stating, "I'll be right back with your change," sounds more acceptable to customers and still gives them the opportunity to say, "Keep the change."
Hence why when I pick up a book with cash in it I say, "I'll be right back with your change." Giving them the opportunity to either say, no change, or thank you, or to be ignored which is most common.
Not that very many patrons use Please and Thank you anymore, but We servers are the uncivilized.
I agree. I know tipping has become pretty much a requirement these days because of the tiny hourly base pay. However, I still determine the amount of a tip based on quality of service. Bring the change, and I will leave the amount that is warranted. If the server assumes an amount, he/she will never give his/her all to the task.
i always ask my tables if it is a card or do they need change, i can't see through the check presenter, and i usually have to ask bc i can't tell if they've put anything into, we're not allowed to leave the check presenter standing up at my restaurant, so it makes it hard to tell sometimes whether you're ready
As a waiter, its difficult to balance everything because some people are very needy while others want nothing to do with you. I'm sure if you tried serving you would have certain tendencies that annoy other people.
If you're a waiter and you have to use the bathroom, please do NOT announce it to your customers. I really don't need to know about your bathroom routine. The last thing I want to think about is my waiter touching his genitals before handing me my drinks and food. This happened to me at 2 different establishments on the same day..
Matt, you rock! Probably one of the most reasonable posts I've seen on this board.
Thanks! I just scrolled through some other comments and I totally understand what you mean. Servers are people too. I've never worked as a waiter BUT It's pretty much a given that common courtesy goes a long way. Whenever I'm eating out and the place is busy I expect the wait to be longer than usual. Self-absorbed people tend to live in a bubble and rarely care about whats going on around them. They only care about what THEY want no matter what the circumstance is. I can totally understand why people who currently handle this profession would be pissed after reading some of these comments. So many d-bags out there.
Finally. Yes that is something to complain about, That's disgusting.
I hate when a server keeps saying "ladies" this and ladies "that". I feel like I should be at a cotillion ball or something. I hate that!
Sorry, Jarmitz. I may be old fashioned, but my wife goes out of her way to appear as, and act as, a lady. I like hearing her addressed as such. When did referring to a woman as a 'lady' bcome an insult?
This is incredibly petty, Jarmitz. However, if it suits your fancy, I will begin referring to you as "guys" or "folks" or "my peeps". How about "dudettes"? That's a pretty good one too. They're all completely logical alternatives to the proper address at which you turned up your nose.
Iamthewalrus : I used to work as a waitress and frequently squatted down next to a table to tell the specials. It is often so loud in restaurants, it is the only way to hear the customer without leaning your entire body directly over their water glasses (which is gross and intrusive). Obviously, squatting to speak to a customer is not acceptable in a fancy restaurant, but certainly becomes a necessary tool when in a more casual setting.
I do not like it at all when the waiter introduces him/her self. I'm not interested in knowing you personally, I'm not telling you my name,; all I want is good, professional service and food. What is up with that introduction thing anyway?
It's called common courtesy. So when you go to look for your waiter/waitress for something (which you sound like the type that undoubtedly ALWAYS needs something)...you don't have to raise your hand and wave (which will always get you ignored), or say "that girl" or "that guy". You sound like the kind of customer who annoys themselves throughout the meal in order to feel "okay" when you leave a crap tip.
People aren't objects.
Treating wait staff as people - people with names - is common decency... fully agreed!
You do realize that basically every restaurant REQUIRES their servers to tell you their names, right? So you can complain about anything that goes wrong to a manager later on instead of saying, "I don't know, that girl with the brown hair"?
You think we want to be YOUR friend? You probably don't realize that basically every server you've ever had hates you and is talking about how much they hate you to their other server friends in the kitchen.
So basically what I get out of this is I should stay home and cook, even when I have a special occasion or am very tired. With this economy I would hope that servers would be smart enough not to drive a customer base away. I know that wait staff have requirements and jobs to do; however all jobs have a level of professionalism in which tasks are performed. Tact and friendliness is usually a two way street.
Do you hate all of your customers? I really want to know. Or are you just reacting to jerks on the blog? I have never been on a wait staff, but I tip at least 20%, and am always always nice to the server. I understand it can be difficult job when it is done well, and I apperciate it.
I LOVE polite, friendly patrons who tip nicely. I think that the comment about hating was directed specifically at the poster who was bothered that the server might actually have a name with which to refer to them by. Anyone who is such a douche about being informed of someone else's name must be a real joy to wait on.
Only in the US.
You too are pretty angry. Maybe you should NOT be working with the public.
Seriously? You hate it when a server gives you a name to refer to?
What a rude individual, katy Heys... You are so dumb that your parents should not have named you.
Sorry, when guests need something I prefer they call me "Nick" rather than "HEY YOU GET ME MOR HUNEE MUSTID PLOX I ALREADY ATED ALL MINE"
You're horribly out of touch. It's quite obvious you've never had to take a job as a server of any type. Did you take a moment to consider that perhaps they're fulfilling their job's REQUIREMENT? Do you understand that someone wants to keep their job? Get over yourself.
You don't want your server introducing themselves to you? In most cases, that person will be catering to your every whim for an hour or more. I don't expect to hear their life's story, but I sure as heck want to know their name. I may not need or want to use it later, but if I have a problem or want to provide a compliment on their service, I sure will.
In addition, you should consider that if they are introducing themselves by name, that perhaps they are REQUIRED to. Perhaps you should just go to the places where servers wear name tags, because they are likely not bound by company policy to introduce themselves. :)
I must admit, I am with katy on this. I couldn't care less about the server's name. Being FORCED to learn it is downright rude and an infringement upon my peaceful enjoyment of the dining experience. Why should I be required to have to endure the extra burdensome activity of Hearing (and, god-forbid, maybe even Remembering) the server's name?
katy- please repost and tell us all that you could not possibly be serious. Please. I will check to see. Ha. That you are bothered by someone who will be responsible for fulfilling your needs telling you their name is a) unfathonable and b) hysterically funny. But if you are serious, as it appears you are, great luck with a happy life! I'm quite certain you should relax a little and maybe a little contentment will slip in from time to time.
katy –
While I feel as if your ignorance has been addressed properly, I find it necessary to bring to your attention that by merely occupying an extra three seconds of your precious time mentioning our name, we are attempting to in turn, remind your that we [us lowly servers] are STILL human beings. Don't worry, we know it might be virtually impossible for people such of yourself to fathom the idea that most of us are college degree-earning, community-contributing, COMPETENT individuals who either do this job for the extra money, because it's a tough job market out there right now (as a recent college grad, this is all too true) or because we truly love people [well...some].
Your comment just goes to show that subtle reminders such as this are completely necessary, although royalty such as yourself will never be reached. And that's actually okay...because odds are I have a table right next to you who's willing to treat me with respect...maybe even allow me to get to know their names. God forbid you DO find you enjoy your server's personality or come to appreciate the hard work they do.
And...just a warning...when I rule the world, everyone will serve for six consecutive months out of their life. Even you, Miss Katy Priss-Pants. Perhaps this will lessen the divide you feel you must create between you and us server-scum.
COMING FROM A PERSON THAT HAS RETAIL,RESTAURANT, COLLEGE AND OFFICE JOB EXPERIENCE IF YOU ARE THAT NIT PICKY ABOUT NOT WANTING TO KNOW MY NAME IT IS OBVIOIUS TO ME THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE MORE OF A PERSON THAN I AM BECAUSE I AM YOUR WAITRESS. GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE!! I WILL GIVE YOU MY NAME JUST SO YOU CAN TELL MY MANAGER HOW MUCH OF AN A@@ I WAS TO YOU BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU ARE GODS GIFT TO THE WORLD. OH AND DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT TIP I WOULD PROBABLY PAY JUST TO NOT HAVE THE PLEASURE OF SERVING YOU...
I really hate it when your server repeatedly sees that you have an empty glass and will not refill it. Then, after you have finished eating, they come over with the check and ask you if you want a refill. Hello! I've already finished my meal! I always say yes, give me a refill, and they bring it. Of course, I leave the full glass sitting there untouched as I leave the restaurant, along with a miniscule tip.
Maybe that's why they don't refill it. They know you're a cheap b@stard, so why bother? I was a server for years...let me tell you, we never forget the face of a bad tipper.
Then I suggest that YOU either brush up on your server skills, or find a different job, like on an assembly line in a factory.
And you're an ignorant j@ack@ss. I always leave generous tips to servers who provide good service (20-30%). Adequate servers receive 15-20%. If I receive bad service, why on earth would I leave a good tip and reward someone who clearly doesn't earn a tip? Rewarding bad behavior only reinforces poor service. I certainly do not have a history of being a bad tipper. You're bent toward prejudging others only supports the idea that you are an ignorant, rude b@stard yourself.
You are a jerk. If you want something, ask for it. If you ever leave a "miniscule tip" then I would suggest you never go back to that restaurant. You will never receive good service ever again. Why don't you just stay home next time and not waste any more water.
Marci – a diner should rarely have to ASK for anything that is typically standard with a meal. I shouldn't have to ask for refills, a straw, silverware, parmesean for my pizza, etc. And if the service is crappy, that will be reflected in my tip. You remember bad tippers? Great, but why don't you put more thought & energy into what you did wrong to deserve such a lousy tip in the first place? That would benefit both you AND your customers in the long run.
And you're an idiot. I always reward good service with 20-30% tip. If the service is lousy, why on earth would anyone in there right mind leave a generous tip. Rude and negligent servers do not deserve a tip at all. The bad ones are lucky to receive any tip, however "miniscule", at all.
This is probably because you are remembered as an ignorant bad tipper. As a server I have to tell you there might be a little something extra in that refill...
John, I always leave a generous tip, even if the service is only "adequate". However, I do not reward bad service with a large tip and I certainly do not have a reputation for being a poor tipper. All my family and friends think I tip too generously. You comment regarding something being in added to my drink reflects your lack of civility and criminal mentality. If you've been a server in the past and have "added" something to someone's food or drink, this raises serious issues. What you are suggesting is illegal, is it not? Since this is a health-related issue, don't you think it would be in the best interest of the general public for CNN to report your email address to law enforcement?
R. Kidd you're a JOKE. I bet your drink has been spit in on more than one occasion. Actually, I hope it has.
Joe: You are a shining example of all that is wrong with criminal-minded poor servers with bad attitudes. You and your ilk never cease to amaze me with your fifth-grade mentality. Some of us have evolved. So sad you have chosen not to join us.
John I *pee-pee* on your pitiful face! (oh, you might "like it"!) you're a douchebag hahaha! LOL
You have to accept that servers often have other tables and each table holds priority at different times, depending on where they are in the course of their meal. When it's busy at my restaurant I don't always have time to check in on a table that's just been sitting for half an hour after finishing their food, in comparison to a table that just ordered and needs plates, drinks, etc. And that new table that just sat down that needs water. And that to-go order that my manager asked me to bag. And the card that needs to be run for my other table that's finished.
If you think that "teaching your server a lesson" by asking for water and then not touching it is going to encourage them to refill glasses next time, think again. It is 100x easier to clear empty glasses off a table than to clear full glasses. Your attempts to "condition" me are just going to convince me not to bother with you or the water next time.
There would never be a "next" time. If you cannot provide adequate service (seeing an empty glass and not refilling it is inexcusable), you don't deserve a tip and I can assure you I would no longer come to your establishment if you cannot provide at least adequate service. If you think I am trying to "condition" you, think again. People with poor attitudes and those who explain away their poor work-habits with excuses don't deserve my time or my money. Good luck out there in the real world dude.
I *PEE-PEE* on Rodney's water! "lemon" added! hahaha LOL
I feel like they're always refilling my glass! I guess this is good service, but then I feel obligated to drink it rather than let it go to waste. If I can't drink it, I kind of leave feeling guilty because I'm trying to teach my children not to take more than they can consume. I try to catch them before they pour it, but it's like they're doing fly-by's to put out a forest fire... swing by, aim, drop, and then they're gone! It doesn't make me angry, just drives me nuts!
Waiters, please don't lean over my plate. And don't touch me for any reason.
You must be a real joy to serve.
Wow, yeah you really wouldn't want a lowly server to touvh your shoulder. Definitely wouldn't want their inferiority to rub off. Gross!
*Touch
I kind of agree with Beth on the touching thing. But don't be so cynical – it has nothing to do with thinking the waiter has germs or is inferior. I appreciate my personal space, and when a stranger touches me it forces an intamcy that makes me uncomfortable. – I'm not complaining about bumping hands as dishes are pased or drinks are refilled, I'm thinking of the times I've been patted on the shoulder – or even had an arm flung around me.
I appreciate the service and that the waiteress or waiter is trying to be friendly, but let's respect the inherent boundaries in the situation – the server is at work, I'm a customer. That's our only connection – we aren't long lost pals!
You mean it's not normal that my bank teller keeps copping a feel when I make deposits? She's cute and all, but still...
The same goes for diners. Do not touch your servers. Seriously.
and don't touch me either, i hate when i'm at a table or going by a table (that isn't mine) and they touch me, especially when i have a tray in my hand
Wow. This is so NOT what I want in a food blog. Cynicism and whining is not appetizing at all.
I could not agree with you more.
Cannot stand when they take even a single person's plate away before the rest of the party is finished!!!! It indirectly rushes the meal and makes those left eating feel uncomfortable. Dining should not be rushed. EVER. This country could learn something from the French here. Book 2 sittings per night instead of packing in a herd like airlines sell tickets. Let the diners relax and enjoy your restaurant experience instead of just the consumption aspect of it.
Generally, if the server does this, it's because it's a restaurant policy: pre-bussing. In many restaurants, it is considered bad service if dirty or unused plates, silverware, glassware, etc. is left on the table after the guest is finished with it. Consider it attention to detail, and don't feel rushed.
Clearing dinnerware out of the way of those no longer eating/drinking typically increases the comfort (via space) of that person. It's not all about you.
I agree. We were required to pre-bus our tables. Nothing would bother me more than to have patrons stack their dishes. It always made me feel as though I hadn't been attentive enough.
I completely agree! I went to the Netherlands last year and boy what a change of pace! The wait staff takes your order, brings your food and leaves you alone! However, they're not used to Americans slamming their food down in less than an hour so it takes a while to get their attention for the check. Restaurants in Europe don't employ as many waiters/waitresses so that they can pay them a decent living wage. In turn, the service is fantastic and you can lounge around for as long as you'd like without feeling rushed out. It really was a great experience.
Would it were so easy here. But waiters make a living wage there, they don't here. In addition, seemed to me most places I went in Europe were private owned... owner-proprietor sort of thing. Here, it's often a corporation and that means shareholders and maximizing gross. So both the restaurant and server HAVE to turn tables over quickly to make any money. Welcome to capitalism baby!
They also include the tip in the bill, so regardless of how good or poor the waiter was they are guaranteed a 15% minimum tip.
That's funny because I hate the opposite. If I finish eating first, I want the plate out of my site and out of my way. I think it would be rudeness on the part of whoever you are with if you feel rushed. Obviously some people eat faster/slower than others. When I finish first I don't sit there tapping my foot and neither should anyone else. For my part, if the waiter takes away my plate when my fellow diners are still eating I usually ask for a drink refill or glass of water to show everyone I'm okay with staying longer.
This is a perfect example that you can't please everyone because everyone is different. Servers are not mind readers and thus do not know if you want to keep your dirty plate or if you'd like it cleared. It is generally the policy of the restaurant that they are following so if you don't like the service you are getting, you should dine elsewhere. On the flip side, if you find a place that caters to your needs just the way you like, become a regular. If you find a server that you love, write down their name, find out when they usually work and ask for them next time. And reward them for their exemplary service. Suddenly you become their main focus in a chaotic dining room because you have built that personal relationship. And their is nothing wrong with politely asking a plate to be left or removed if your preference is the opposite of the service being provided. Don't demand, just ask and smile and I am positive your request will be followed.
I'm surprised at all the dissent on this point. It's quite simply IMPROPER to remove an empty plate until ever person at the table is finished. Period. It's a basic dining etiquette/manners thing.
Thank you. You are absolutely correct – no plates removed until all are done. End of that discussion.
Amen to GS! People think they can dispute anything they dont like, even basic manners or etiquette. Its rare anymore to have a really nice dining experience because waiters servers think they have to be your best friend (that's different from just being polite) and people wolf down their food like they havent eaten all day.
I echo what some others have said: go to europe and have a mid day meal (Spain, France or Italy) and see what a truly nice restaurant experience can be.
Thank you. I absolutely hate it when the wait staff removes plates from the table before everyone is finished. It is just plain rude. And lord help me if I ask them not to remove my plate before others have finished; I get looked at as if I'm crazy. It is an absolute joy when simple courtesies like this are observed.
If you really think every restaurant should be following these so-called rules, then you should start by educating diners, not servers. I can't tell you how many guests place their empty plates on the edge of the table to indicate that they want them picked up, even while their friends are still eating. If I, as the server, were to ignore that plate it would make ME look inattentive. And as you can tell from all the nitpicky people posting here, any little error in timing or possible flaw in service is grounds for HATING the server and tipping them poorly.
Not that this matters at my restaurant, where pre-bussing is the rule and my manager wouldn't like it if I left empty dishes at any table.
sorry but your wrong it can be debated. Maybe at an upscale restaurants "manners" are set in stone but else where like life they float and change accordingly. Sure in a fancy restaurant it may be important to serve the patron on one side and remove items from the other but in casual dinning environments these rules manners don't translate.
Men don't always wear coats and ties now days too.
get over it and quit being so sensitive.
I've worked at many fine dining restaurants...and when it's restaurant policy to remove empty plates...you cannot call it bad service. Rarely have I met someone who's willing to spend upwards of $100 a plate on dinner, who wants their server to leave their dirty plate or silverware on the table while their guests finish. AND, at a fine dining restaurant where you're spending that money, I highly doubt they think they have to slam their food quickly just because the other person is finished. If your restaurant tells you as a server not to remove plates then you don't...if they tell you you have to, you remove them. If the patron doesn't want it removed, then speak up...it's your dime...we're there for you.
The problem with this comes from management in most restaurants. They are CONSTANTLY on your behind about pre-bussing your tables. Meaning if you finish your dinner and everyone else is eating, they want you to remove the dishes as the customers finish so that when you finally leave, the table it pretty much clear already. This way they can turn the tables over faster. When you don't pre-bus, you get chewed out by the managers and bussers. Don't like it? Take it up with management.
Every restaurant has a different policy on this. In some, you can't take the plate away until everyone is finished. But then again, you get customers who look at you angrily because they are clearly done and don't want their plate in front of them anymore. I believe in not clearing until everyone is done but some restaurant owners want it that way. It's impossible to guess what a customer wants... if you leave the plate there they could get annoyed with you.. if you take it away you are rushing them..
It's interesting that folks are noting what basic table etiquette is. Unfortunately, many of us have been treated very badly by customers who are unaware of these basics. I would typically not clear plates until the entire table is finished, but I have been yelled at and called lazy by those who disagreed. Please do not assume that waitstaff do not understand etiquette. Many of us try to read the table and act accordingly because everyone has different expectations. Some folks want us to hover; others do not. Some view constant attention as expected; others view it as rushing you out the door. Don't blame us if we sometimes get it wrong.
I absolutely agree with you, platetakers. However, it is VERY clear we are not in France. Americans want fast, huge, over-sauced portions and typically something free on top of that. We give you bread & olive oil? You ask for cheese and balsamic to add to it. Do you expect a pair of socks to go with those Jimmy Choo's?? I work in an upscale Italian restaurant serving authentic Northern Italian cuisine. It is truly amazing how people want to re-write the menu to cater to themselves. Try making your own Saltimbocca at home if you don't like Swiss Chard!!I have been featured in numerous reviews so I know I'm an excellent server.
Lighten up! All of these come across as whiney and entitled. Eating out is supposed to be fun! Who cares if the server comes to the table every 5 min? You hate it when they fill your water glass?? Are you joking? Shut up and eat your vegetables.
The water thing is actually good . . . it's a way for the server to give you the *opportunity* to request something or make a correction to the meal without he/she seeming to ask 'is everything to your satisfaction' over and over. Things do change during a meal; the customer may want more of a side dish, a new glass of a different wine, or one of a hundred other things. Checking or refilling water/coffee (called 'skating') allows you to be present at that one table briefly and silently, and permits the diner to address you without having to hail you as you walk past the aisle.
Ah Pete. Did they teach you that in "fake" hospitality school?
Funny Tom. Thanks for the laugh.
As a bartender – I absolutely hate it when customers want you to tell them every single beer that you have and then order a Bud Light. Are you serious? Come on people – you know what you drink – just order it already and quit wasting my time.
AARRGGHH My husband does that and it drives me crazy!!!!
Here's a tip to the bars... HAVE A BEER MENU!
I don't want to ask the bartender what beers they have, but sometimes, I can't see/read all the taps, so I do. Granted, I don't order Bud Light, I'm usually looking for something better.
However, it really helps to have a friggin' menu of what's available rather than trying to play Vulcan Mind Meld with the bartender.
Exactly! I've never for the life of me been able to understand why a bar would have more than 5 beers on tap and not have a beer menu. If there's no beer menu and the taps are not clearly visible to everyone at the bar (and with visible writing, which many do not have these days), there's no choice but to ask the bartender. If the person hears all the choices and picks Bud Light, it's because there wasn't anything they liked better. You can't "know what you drink" when you don't know the choices. I always feel like I'm annoying the bartender by asking, but if there's no list, what else am I supposed to do?
Most places rotate their taps fairly often so having a printed menu is not feasible. I don't think the bartender cares if you ask what the beers are when you are actually trying to decide which you might want but if you ALWAYS drink Bud Light then just order a Bud Light and don't waste the poor guy/gal's time.
Nobody is going to ask to know everything that's on tap if they ALWAYS drink Bud Light. Chances are he/she drinks Bud Light as a default when none of the other things sound good.
To the commenter saying it's not feasable to have a printed menu because of how often the taps are changed:
How long would it take to type up a quick Word document listing the beers for the week? Or even just for the day? No one said it has to be fancy! I always appreciate a beer list when I'm at a bar, because it's usually too dark to see all of the taps. Also, the chalkboards that list the taps are convenient too, and easily changed to reflect new beers.
Don't be too hard on the patrons at the bar. Sometimes they just want to hear other options hoping that something will jump out and grab them. When you're done rattling off all the beers, the one that sounds the best will probably be the one they are used to drinking. Don't be a crabby bartender.
Get over it and eat at home..That way when you find yourself unsatisfied, you'll know who to blame...
What a bunch of whining. Try eating elsewhere.
Amen. Sounds like the writer is a hard to please curmudgeon. Looks like someone needs to start bringing a bag lunch.
Actually, that would be "writers." As in....multiple writers/customers who were asked about their pet peeves when eating. One person who wrote all this would be a pain in any service providers rear end, but multiple people who have the same complaints? That would be the majority of people who put up with bad service, not just when eating. Don't like working as wait staff, customer service or in sales? Don't do it then.
I hated being a server. The three years I did it were probably the worse job experience I ever had because people are a pain in the a$$. You either come to their table too often or not enough, if the cook screws up the order, you get blamed and not the cook, they run you back and forth for condiments, water, drinks, and have the nerve to not tip, all this for a lousy 2.12 per hr. I hate customers and will never do that job again as long as I live. Because of the experience I ALWAYS over-tip my waiters/waitresses.
I hear that! You are 100% right on with your comments; I say that everyone should wait tables at least once in their life so that they can develop a true appreciation for the trade and not act so high and mighty when leaving a tip.
And where I used to work, We were instructed to get down at eye level (aka squat or kneel) and spout out the specials to every table when we first speak to them. If these people who complain so much about service practices ever actually waited tables then they would know this annoying process is driven by the corporations, not my the individual whose monetary standing is holding in the balance.
Amen! If everyone waited tables, worked a drive-through, or in a department store once in their lives they would't be so quick to have such entitled attitudes. People- you're not the only table in the restaurant- servers have many tables to juggle, each at different stages of eating. They do they best they can. If you have to wait 2 extra minutes for your (free) bread and water, deal with it.
@ Michelle
I say everyone should be in the military right out of high school too. it's not happening though. I've successfully lived 37 years without ever working the food industry. It's a choice. Nothing more and certainly not a good one. At least the military teaches kids to be respectful as well as self-reliant. food service teaches one thing (which is quite appearant by your and his self-absorbed response): how to whine. but hey, the world needs ditch-diggers!
I agree with all that you're saying about squating and the way you have to talk to customers. I have never been a server and don't plan on doing so either, but some things should be changed.
Two examples from the story I can definitely agree with too: Give me a few minutes to look over the menu before you ask me what I want. If the menu has 6 pages, there is no way I can review it in 5 seconds after being seated. Ask me what I want to drink but give me 5 minutes to look over the menu. Also, don't come back to the table 10 seconds after you bring out my food. Chances are I haven't even started the meal. I have a 3 year old and I have to get her adjusted first before I can begin my meal.
@ Moe
First I would like to say I tried to join the military but due to a health condition I was unable to do so.
Working in the food industry is not something that should be looked down at. This is an industry with one of the most flexible times schedules there is. If you are going to school, high school or college...and yes, I was working in high school you need something will to work around your schedule.
Working in food service does give people values and work ethic. Yes, I agree there are some that don't learn a thing, but I have known people who came back from the military to do nothing with their lives as well. It is more the person’s own personality – not the job.
I agree, Amanda. I have quite a bit of respect for servers – they have to deal with so many different personalities on a daily basis and still manage to keep their cool and be friendly. I don't always like my server, or how they do their job, but when does anybody like everyone they come in contact with! I'm sure there are servers out there that haven't liked me either. It's a part of life. But I do understand that it's a tough job, and certainly not one to be looked down on. And, if hired on at the right restaurant, you could make quite a bit of money. People shouldn't look down on ANY job – they are all needed. President or ditch digger, they are all needed professions that society would be hard pressed to do without. (except oil company execs... no one needs them... well, maybe satan, but that's all. LoL jk)
Well Michelle, I've always thought that Americans should all serve some time in the military, so they wouldn't have so much contempt for us vets, and treat us all like violent-prone jarheads. I live in SF, and it's almost as if I should feel ashamed to have served 3 years in the army, because the attitudes here are so judgmental. So when you say we should all work as servers in restaurants to "know what it's like", I can also say everyone should serve time in the military, so the next time our troops deploy somewhere, you actually give a crap.
I fully understand that the folks in the kitchen will make mistakes, but isn't it the server's responsibility to make sure the order is correct BEFORE taking it to the table?
No. It is the job of the expediter. Notice that it is not typically the server who brings your food out in most restaurants.
Not really Margaret. The waiter gives your order to the kitchen. The person who has the waiters orders is the runner. It's his job to make sure that you got what you wanted. The runner generally brings out your food. If something is wrong, you tell the waiter , the waiter goes to the kitchen and there they find out whether the waiter screwed up, or the runner did, or the kitchen did. Of course, in a great restaurant, everything will run smoothly. A waiter cannot check every single order because they are lots of other people he or she is tending to at different stages of dining. It's easy to blame the waiter. And in some cases, it is their screw up. But in many many cases, it's not.
Not always. When I was a server, there was a person called the "expo" who stands at the food window and puts orders together. Generally it is their job to make sure the order is correct. A lot of the time, another server will run the food for a table that is not even theirs because everyone is required to help run food.
In the sense that if they ordered steak and there is chicken on the plate, then yes. But if the steak was supposed to be medium rare and it comes out medium...no. the server cannot visually see that so don't take it out on the server.
I'm not a server and don't pretend to be, but if a server has 10 tables and there are a minimum of 4 people per table, it can be difficult to remember that the woman at table 3 wanted just sour cream on her potato and no butter, but all other patrons wanted butter and sour cream. If the cook messes that up, the server shouldn't be held responsible. That's when the patron should kindly remind the server about the sour cream. If you're not an ass to the server, chances are you get better service.
Thanks to all of you who kindly explained how that works. Now I'm more informed when I go into a restaurant.
It depends on the establishment. I have worked in some that had expediters – ones who made sure there were pats of butter for rolls, steak knives with steaks, lemons with seafood, etc. Still, I am going to look over every dish that I load on to my tray(s) before I head to the dining room. I am the one who spoke with the customer. I am the one that should fully understand what they want when they order. It is MY responsibility that the customer is equipped with all that they asked for (or didn't, but should expect) when they begin eating their meal. So I am going to look at every plate, comparing it to the notes that I took (or the ticket that printed in the kitchen) to make sure that the sides are correct, the meat is the correct temperature, the requested adjustments were made, etc. It is MY responsibility.
Servers should have some sense of accountability when it comes to plates being incorrect. People who tell you differently are just passing the buck.
Not all restaurants use an expediter or a runner, or require any waiter to take out a ready order. At some restaurants your waiter is required to check and carry out your order.
Watch for it, and then return and patronize those restaurants again. Now, you risk a delay if your waiter is busy with another table, but most waiters are good and some are great at taking care of hot food over drink and food orders. Once you find one of those waiters and that kind of restaurant, ask for them by name. You'll get incredible service when the server knows you asked specifically for him/her.
I couldn't agree more. In college I was a server and it is absolutely incredible how people either are so stupid that they don't know the percentages for a tip, or are just *ssholes and don't feel like tipping properly or at all. If you're too much of a cheap *ss to not tip, DON'T GOT TO A RESTAURANT. The ones who don't tip or don't tip well often are the ones who make you run around like a maniac the most. Learn to tip America: at least 15 percent people, personally I think it's customary to tip starting around 18 percent and 20 percent if they did a good job people- it's not hard. Are people just rude or dumb and can't do simple elementary math? Take 10 percent of your bill (just move the decimal one space to the left for the idiots) and then just double that to get 20 percent. I'm also sorry to have to admit, but any server will also agree that certain minorities simply tip horribly. Whether you want to believe it or not- ask any server about it. If you're in America, and you go to our restaurants- learn the rules of tipping in this country or get your nasty McDonalds take out and STAY HOME.
Seriously! Don't do me any favors by throwing down a $10 bill on a $200 order after I just bowed and scraped to your annoying party for 2 hours.
I truly enjoy eating out and not having to cook. My husband and I do it at least once or twice a week, and sometimes our son joins us. I have never worked in the food service industry, but have worked service jobs before, and I have to say that servers (for the most part) are some of the most talented, happy, extraordinary people out there. A good server is fun to be around and converse with . . . I enjoy the interaction with them. When it comes to tipping, the ONLY time I tip 15 percent is when the service is bad; the bad server still needs a tip, that's how they make a living. A good server will garner anywhere from 20, to 25, sometimes 30 percent from me because of their service. I don't mind it a bit – tipping like that – because 1) it makes me feel good; 2) the server appreciates it; and 3) next time I visit the restaurant, I am almost always assured great service. One more thing: when I go out to eat, I KNOW that the tip will be a major portion of the bill and make adjustments in the budget to cover it. Bottom line: SERVERS ROCK!!!!
Not everyone can afford 15% minimum. I start with 12% and then based on service go upward till 18/20.
As a former server, I would not accept a really insulting tip. Instead I would summon the manager to allow the guests to voice their "obvious" concerns about my service. I am talking about anything below 10% which is really the type of tip a manager should know about.
WOW! I loved it how people obviously just assumed that I didn't have an education while I was serving. People speak down to you, treat you like absolute dirt! Let's see – I was taking 16 credit hours of college and working to support myself around my class schedule. Chances are that I'm harder working and have more knowledge AND common sense than most people coming into restaurants now-a-days.
Also, here's a news flash – servers don't make a normal minimum wage and tips! At most, they make $2.85. Yeah, it was glorious working 12 hour shifts just to make $100 – if that...NOT! Learn how to do basic math, people, and don't be insulting. Any part of the service industry is give and take. If you want to be treated with respect by the people serving you, then give them respect back. They're just as hard working, if not harder working, people than you are. They are simply doing what is needed to support themselves and probably their families.
OH...and Americans are notorious for feeling entitlement. No where else in this world have I ever seen nor experienced such brash senses of it than here. Else where in the world, people actually know how to address each other without insulting one another.Courteousy is obviously an out-dated and under practiced thing now. I truly believe that everybody should work in the industry at least for a little bit, because it's a real eye-opener.
Hey, Not so Rich. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to go out to eat. Get a job. Otherwise, stay home and eat your Ramen Noodles.
@ Not so rich: "Not everyone can afford 15% minimum." Then don't go out to eat, you cheap-a$$!!! Stay home if you can't afford the *bare minimum* of 15%. No one's forcing you to go out to a restaurant...
I, too, was a server in college and because of that experience, over tip today. I am also African-American. It's insulting to hear the same stereotype I was told 15 years ago is still being perpetuated today. As a result, I often get crappy service since the server expects nothing from me in return. Sometimes this falsehood becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. How about do your job to the best of your ability and see what happens? I know many a server who was pleasantly surprised after treating my husband and myself like human beings.
To the genius named "Ex-server" who tries to explain tipping by looking at the total and multiplying it by 20% or whatever, I submit to you that the douchebags in the restaurant industry place the credit card slip with the non itemized total on the very top. That would mean that your formula for tipping would have diners tipping you a percentage of the tax that they pay. Sounds like you might be the stupid one.
My problem with the 15% standard tip is that quite frankly there are quite a few servers who simply don't deserve it. I worked for many years in the restaurant industry in a variety of positions so I know exactly what kind of crap goes on. I've been dependent on tips to pay my bills in the past (and am well aware of certain minorities who usually tip poorly if at all) and if that's the position you're in then you better do your job and earn them...don't just assume it's your god given right to get a decent tip.
Having said all that I usually tip around 18%, though I have absolutely no problem dropping it 10% or lower if the service is bad. If you can't be bothered to stop by a couple times to see if we need refills (especially if when you brought our food our glasses were empty and you don't get refills immediately) then I can't be bothered to leave you a good tip.
I agree with you, I am Puerto Rican and I used to serve over at Puerto Rico, The good tippers were Americans and Some Puerto Ricans, Horrible Tippers are always Europeans, Black people (sorry...but you are terrible AND demanding too) and Indians.
Living now in the USA in the mid west IOWA...people here DO NOT TIP AT ALL!!! NOTHING!
I left my job as a waitress and learned that there are people that are good and some are just nasty when it comes to feeling entitled...It's not on the menu.... Don't try to change it.
If you don't like an ingredients that is not a sauce....please put it to the side.
If you are gonna ask for water.... drink it as is...do not ask for lemons.... Restaurants should cgharge for them.
We ask you how is everything to double check and make sure before you leave for more than 20 min.
Your damned if you do and damned if you don't.
You are not the only tabel in the restaurant....if you are so demanding....stay at home and eat there.
I don't applaud bad service from a waiter.... but it happens and at the end of the bnight you should think that most of them get paid miserably (less than minimum wage) and depend on your tips.
I over tip my waiter's....if they were horrible... I don't leave a tip.
But if they were good- 15%
excellent- 20-25% depending on how well they treated me.
entitled diner- you are a moron. how about you take a second look at what Ex-Server wrote. He said 20% of the bill, not specifying the total including the tax. maybe you should LOOK at the itemized bill before just handing over your credit card like a fool. chances are you need the extra time to calculate the tip anyway.
To "Not So Rich:" If you can't afford the meal, the taxes and the tip, then you shouldn't be going there to eat. The expectation of a minimum of 15% is pretty standard across the country. You should take the cost of the meal, taxes and tip into consideration when selecting where to go out to eat, and also order accordingly. Due to the expectation of tips, waitstaff usually do not make minimum wage, because the payroll offsets that pay rate with the assumption of 10-15% in gratuity (at least that's how it worked when I waited tables many moons ago). So if your local minimum wage is $8, chances are excellent that your server is making between $3-6 per hour.
I generally expect to tip a minimum of 20%; I will tip more for outstanding service, and less if given poor service.
I don't love it when my server sits at my table, but I'm not going to have a fit over it either. The one thing that actually does bother me is when (as a female patron) my male server decides he's going to try to up his tips by being all flirty or "Joe Cocky." I prefer people to be polite and behave professionally. However, I'm not going to "dock" him if he otherwise does a good job. I might fill out a comment card, though...
Which brings me to my last point. If you don't like something in your dining experience, particularly about the way ALL of the servers are interacting with their guests (meaning it's a policy thing), by all means, fill out a comment card (most casual restaurants have them sitting on the table). Comment cards are sometimes the only thing that will get the attention of management. But please don't punish your server for things outside of their control.
Happy dining, everyone!
WOW, Ex-Server, good thing you are an EX-SERVER.
You are a really ANGRY person. I think YOU should stay home and make an appointment to see someone so you can deal with your anger issues.
Nikkita – I drink water with lemon because it's zero calorie and covers the taste of your municipal tap water. I personally wouldn't care at all if restaurants charged me $0.05 to add lemon to my water.
BUT – if I ask for lemon and never get any with my water, that's a guaranteed 1-2% off your tip.
Well, by definition, a tip is an OPTIONAL payment usually given to express appreciation for excellent service. Which means, unless we feel the tip is warranted based on excellent (or in most cases, I settle for just decent) service, we are NOT obliged to pay it. Unless the restaurant charges a "service fee" (and a notice of such is given to customers), no one is required to tip anything to a waiter. The idea that tips are mandatory is wrong. Personally, I think restaurants should pay their employees a fair wage and cut out tipping. Making servers rely on tips is almost the equivalent of paying your employees with lottery tickets. You could strike it rich - but there aren't any guarantees. Of course, one of the allures of waiting tables is that you can make big bucks if you have good tippers and most servers I have known have NEVER reported their full tip wages and thus never paid what they really owe in taxes. So - not many servers would willingly go to a no tip system. I mean, if it really were a horrible job with little pay, no one but the very desperate would be doing it, would they?
DO NOT tell me where I can and cannot eat. That is your flipping job to SERVE ME so screw you! TIPPING is NOT mandatory. It is called GRATUITY for a reason. Don't you dare act like your are doing anyone any special favors. Do I get tips at MY job ? No, and I go above and beyond all the time. So all you whiny waiters and waitresses out there who try to use this lame excuse will just make me tip you even less. I can go where I want, when I want, and spend my hard earned money HOW I want.
Did you know that in Europe and Asia that its very common NOT to tip. I personally believe that if you want a tip you have to work for it. You call name call me all you want but its true. A server should truly work for the tip. I worked in restaurants all over the world and never encountered servers who demanded tip until I worked in North America. Seriously? I can't believe that servers in the US and Canada actually demand that they should be tipped. When I hear my employees demanding tip from the customer, sorry but I give them warnings and they will be fired. Customers should not have to deal with a server demanding tip. Also if the server is demanding that they receive tip, they should be fired.
Margaret, would you like me to cut into your steak first to make sure the kitchen got it right?
Perhaps what Margaret is referring to is when the order is entirely wrong. It is one thing to have ordered a well done burger and receive blood drippings...that is an easy fix and perhaps the cooks got two burgers switched, hey, they're busy. However, when the food set in front of you isn't remotely close to what you ordered I can understand a bit of upset.
I asked a simple question and I get a smart-ass answer. Is it any wonder why diners are making the comments that they are on here? No, I don't want you to cut my steak, but if I say "no gravy on my mashed potatoes, please", I would think that SOMEONE should be checking the plate against my order to make sure it's right before it gets to me. I understand that mistakes will be made and am almost always very forgiving. However, some things that happen in a restaurant are inexcusable.
I agree. You're very under-appreciated and most people don't realize that your "hourly wage" is not a whole lot and mostly depend on tips. Back when I worked at a restaurant, there were people who ate big meals, then used their spare change(less than 1 dollar) as the tip or not tip at all.
I have friends that used to be servers and its turned them into a tip Nazi. No longer is 20% acceptable for them, they have to over tip every time – even if the waiter is horrible. If you want a good tip, do a good job. If you want a bad tip, do a bad job. You don’t have to hover, but make yourself available if I need you – make sure my glass is full – and try your hardest to get my order right. I have no problem over tipping when I believe it is deserved..But that’s the key there isn’t it...deserved. Don’t expect your 20%, earn it. Agreed, customers can be annoying – but that comes with the territory.
I always thought that wait staff shared tips with bus boys etc. Maybe if the kitchen staff shared the tips service might be better off. Or, we can always move to the European model and not tip at all. Tipping in general has gotten way out of hand – you are expected to top for everything and people get mad when you don’t.
Yes, servers do have to share a percentage of their tips w/ the bus boys....unfortunately not enought customers know that.... I use to serve, and we had to tip out the bussers 3% of our sales, plus tip the food runners. If someone left you a $3 tip on a $100 bill, you're tipping the bussers $3 and the food runner another dollar or two, meaning...I just paid $1-2 for the satisfaction of running my a$$ for the customer. NICE.
AMEN! As an ex waiter and a current flight attendant I can't agree with you more. I try to tip 25% and always say "please" and "thank you". It amazes me when I go out with friends how many people lack those two basic phrases.
As far as having the waiter squat next to the table or sit in the booth with us, I could care less. If I want fine dining where I am treated like royalty, i'll go to The Russian Tea Room or the Four Seasons.
Waiters are just people trying to do a job and make a living and all these people are giving them crap. Get over yourself people, i'm sure we can write an article on your job and see what people have to say.
Working in the front of the house in a restaurant is definitely very hard. So Lolita, I hope you went to school to get a degree.
You're damn right I did. I am currently studying to be a nurse, so I guess I'll be doing my running for a new set of customers, but for much better pay, and for people who seriously need help, LOL.
So you didn't like the job and it shows. You didn't get tips because you were not good. One of those types that come too often and when you are needed, you are not there. You didn't show urgency.
Seeing as I have never waited on you, you have no clue what kind of a waitress I was. I had days where I would make 50$ off one table and get 10 cents off another. Why, because good service or bad, it really comes down to what mood the customer is in and whether or not they really have the FUNDS to tip to begin with. Too inconsistent for 2.12 a hr. Then if I sell a lot of alcohol for the establishment I HAVE to tip out to the bartenders based on the percentage of my bar sales. Why the hell am I using my hard earned tips to pay the company's bartenders when I make 2.12 a hour? Know what your talking about first before commenting.
I hate, hate, HATE when servers squat down next to the table to take your order and explain the specials. This usually happens in the more casual restaurants, but still. I don't want to be your friend - we don't have to be on the same level.
Or worse yet, SIT DOWN at the table with you. I've had someone do that. WTH?
Sounds like Hooters.
Where I work (Outback) they encourage us to do this. I have been serving for many years and I can't get used to it. I personally don't like it
I dig it when the hot waitress sits down to take my order and gives me grief. I get to eat dinner and fall in love at the same time :)
we are encouraged to sit down with our guests whenever possible
Why are you servers saying you're encouraged to sit down with the customers? Is this a word-of-mouth suggestion or is this in the company manual? You may think it's friendly to do so, but from the diner's point of view, it is a presumpuous move. I sit. You stand while taking MY order. I pay. You serve. No resting for you. :)
OMG I had that happen to me – I was with a group of girlfriends and we went to this martini bar in Grayslake IL which usually has great service. This kid came to take our order and kept sitting down at the table, acting cocky, actually turning up his nose at our drinks order coz he thought it was wimpy...he was unbearable...to the point that we weren't done with our dinner (barely started) and he wanted to know if we wanted dessert...and then as soon as we were done with dinner – plopped the check right next to us saying his shift is over so could we pay up so that he could go and drink.....suffice to say we will never go there again.....I even looked around to see if we were being Punkd.....
Bustacap – I worked at a NY suburban steakhouse chain, and management trained us to either squat or sit down at the table when taking orders. It's not something the servers came up with themselves, and trust me, most of us wouldnt be doing it if it wasnt policy.
As a server, I'm tall, so if I have to repeat everything a dozen times, because you're hard of hearing and my boss refuses to turn down the music, I'm going to sit or bend down so you can hear me better. That being said, I work in a slightly more casual setting where I get a lot of regulars that ask me to sit and chat with them if I'm not busy. However, if I worked in a more upscale/ formal venue I could not imagine taking a seat at the table while I write down an order. When people go out to eat at a fine dining venue I think they expect an old world sense of formality. Also, in a fine dining venue the atmosphere is probably a lot more quiet (softer music, more polite partons, less drunks), so hearing would not be a problem.
The ONLY times I've ever sat down at a table with a customer, and it's only happened 4 or 5 times in as many years, was when the entire meal had gone wrong. Whether I'd just had a terrible day and wasn't working to par or we were severely under-staffed or the chef was doing poorly, it was very rare that I sat down at the table. I only did it to be able to look the customer in the eye and ask them, "What can I do to make this up to you?" As long as the request is within reason, I honor it. A free dessert or even a free meal? Out of my pocket. Happy repeat customers are the best kind and I know I'll probably make the money spent on that meal back in tips from them within a few visits.
Most casual chains are implementing the procedure of having servers kneel at the table side. It has to do with a person (whether male or female) towering over somebody and making them feel uncomfortable. For example, I am at a restaurant and placing my order and the server is towering over me. It may feel as a violation of personal space and I may feel compelled to order or not order something other than my entree. It is also easier on the neck to have to look at someone at eye level rather than a good 2-2 1/2 feet above the table to try and place the order or ask questions. By having the service staff at eye level it is supposed to garner good will, trust, and a non level of intimidation. get used to it because a lot of companies are making this policy. As far as someone sitting at the table in front of me or next to me to take my order, I would expect them to pick up half of the check.
I agree. The last time it happened to me it was an Outback. That's just too familiar, especially since I had never been waited on by that person before. If they want me to leave a 20% tip for service, which at an Outback with a couple of drinks can start to add up, then act like a respectful servant. Don't sit at the table with me and call me Hon like a gum smacking truckstop waitress. It's teenagers that usually do it.
I've been a server for years, and I sat down at a table one time, and one time only. I had a table for four with only three people sitting. The woman sitting alone was sitting on the inside, which made it hard to hear her in the middle of the dinner rush. She was ALLERGIC to sesame and garlic, and INTOLERANT of dairy. In that situation, it would be completely unacceptable, and even a little unethical for ANY server not to be absolutely sure that he or she is 100% clear that the customer is not going to be getting a meal that makes them ill. I sat in the chair next to her in order to facilitate that clarity.
Also, maybe trust a server every now and then? Or if you don't like something that they're doing, tell them so that they have a chance to make amends?
Everyone complaining that they are asked to order too quickly, and then forgotten when they aren't ready aren't considering something important ... all servers know how long it take to get ready to order. Unless the manager is pushing them to turn tables quickly, no one is going to bug you quickly ... with one exception. If a lot of tables are sat at once, which is a standard practice in restaurants that split dinner into two specific seating times, a lot of parties may order at once. That early order request may be your server's only chance to make sure that you don't have to wait a long time for your dinner later on, or before the server has a chance to visit you again.
The simple answer to that, of course is "Run the business better..." If servers had that authority, they wouldn't BE servers.
Wow. Get over yourselves! I LOVE it when the server stoops or sits to take the order. It DOES promote a little familiarity, but I have no impression that I'm being asked to marry or adopt them. One more reason why I love the Outback...
I can't stand it when a server crouches down - it makes me uncomfortable, like I've demanded that they kneel in my presence or something. And the sitting-in-my-booth thing has definitely reduced my visits to Outback. Whoever got the idea that customers (I'm not a guest; guests don't pay to eat with you) are "intimidated" by servers standing up and doing their job, although we've not objected to it since the days of the cupbearer in the mead-hall, is an idiot. I'm not there to be buddies with the server, I just want my dinner.
You've got to be kidding! I love it when they sit and take my order. My wife laughed her head off once when a cutie practically sat on my lap – she tipped her well ;-)
Actually, I don't mind our server sitting down at the table while taking our order. But it takes skill....you can't just plop down next to someone without using your "Server Spidey Senses" to gauge whether or not the person is open to it.
The squat or kneeling to be at eye level I think is great. Sitting down isn't. As a male when I get addressed as "honey", my frequent polite reply is, "I'm sorry, but you don't know me well enough to call me "honey". And when I go solo and am asked "Just one?" I can feign surprise and say, "Isn't that OK here?" I also dislike servers taking the paid check and asking, "do you need change back?"
I tried my best to read through all of the comments pertaining to the topic of sitting down at tables, so here's my 2 cents.
I've worked at Outback for over 3 years now, and I was trained to either kneel down next to the table or sit down with the guests if they seemed welcoming. I typically think I'm pretty good at judging what sort of people I'm waiting on and go from there... and to this day I've never had anyone get upset or express their displeasure with it. Typically, I find that customers who don't have a "God complex" and treat you with respect are more willing to sit and converse with you. Of course I won't sit down unless you, and all my other guests, have what they need and are happy with their dining experience. I honestly try to go above and beyond to help out all the tables that come through my section- and being in a vacation destination (Waikiki) allows me to actually connect with people on a more personal basis. You need directions to the North Shore? Want to know some cool places to go that don't cost an arm and a leg? I live here and just want to help my guests enjoy their vacations, so if I sit down to draw you a map, I don't expect you to get mad for my lack of manners. Some of you guys might not respect those who wait on you because we are doing "servant work" but a lot of us are doing it because we enjoy it. (With that said, Outback has actually tried to get away from servers sitting with tables due to complaints like the ones listed on this article... so maybe you guys could give us a chance. :)
I really just think everyone needs to treat each other the way they would like to be treated... the whole "do unto others" thing comes to mind. I'm sure Wikipedia knows a thing or two about manners, if you haven't heard of 'em. You'd be surprised as to what a "please" and "thank you" could do....
A waitperson sitting at the table is rude. It is poor etiquette, whatever the management of Outback or any other casual eatery thinks, and is doesn't sell food. People who don't mind it would order anyway. People who do mind it don't come back- they don't bother to complain, especially since it is pretty well-nown now that these places train their waitstaff to do this. Why should I spend my money or waste my breath on a chain that doesn't even know simple rules of service and etiquette? There are lots of choices in the world of restaurants. I go to places where the food is good and the service at least appropriate.
Whoever "Burbank" is.. you seem to be missing a grasp on the English language. Servant, by definition, means "one that performs duties about the person or home of a master or personal employer." A server is not in your home, nor is he or she a personally employed by a customer. Perhaps if you removed your obvious prejudices and acted in a respectful manner, you'd get better service. That is also a general statement that many, many customers should follow. Manners matter.
That said, studies have shown that tips increase 3% when servers kneel/ squat/ sit with tables. I squat down because not only have I been told to, but also because it's harder to hear and I'd rather not shout at my tables.
We just had dinner at the Outback with the kids a few nights back. The server was pleasant, organized, affable and courteous. His one goof: he asked if we wanted dessert. You do NOT ask about dessert if there are little kids at the table. If you must, whisper or spell it. I've noticed parents are more likely to get this one right than non-parents. In any case, he didn't sit down at our table. Thank goodness. It doesn't promote friendliness, it's an invasion of personal space.
B3NE – Really? That's not a rule. If you can't control your children enough to teach them that sometimes they don't get what they want (ie dessert) then you shouldn't be going out in public with them. It's not his fault. He's REQUIRED to ask you if you want dessert. Don't get all righteous on him because he's doing his job.
@Deejay: Why do I get the feeling that the "martini bar" you went to does not serve principally the classic gin-based cocktail in the proportion 5 parts gin to 1 part of either Noilly Prat, Dolin or Vaya vermouth (based on your gin choice)?
Then go to a better restaurant ya twit. (he says non-abrasively)
Casual dining is casual dining. Often one step away from a sports bar where the intent is everyone can be friends.
I draw the line if they actually take a seat. That has happened a couple times too. Fairly awkward.
Happens all the time at Outback if you're in a booth.
I actually don't mind if they sit down. I think about it like this, they've probably been on there feet for hours and hours (which sucks, been there, done that) and if copping a seat next to me while they take my order gives a respite, why not? I don't draw the "you are server, I am customer" line, at the end of the day we're all human beings. We might ought to treat each other as such. Just sayin...
Butterflychica: Forgive me, but you're flat out wrong. If the server needs a break, then he needs to go to his boss and say I need 5 minutes. People get paid to do a job. If you "cop" a rest while taking an order then you're not doing your job correctly. A customer has every right to be upset. Of course, people like you will be forgiving. That's a customer's prerogative too, I guess. But your attitude only encourages this type of "let live" attitude. Where do you draw the line? Might as well tell people to do their jobs right 24-7. Simple. Clear. Straightforward.
I absolutely HATE the "sitting down server" thing. I solve the sitting problem by trying to always get a booth and then skooching myself to the far end of the bench so there is literally no room for them to sit down.
I don't think it's a matter of drawing the line between server and customer, I think it's a matter of courtesy. I wouldn't go up to a random stranger's table and just cop a squat – it's rude! – so why does the server get to do that just because they are taking my order? We're not friends! Don't assume you can just intrude on my night out with friends/significant other simply because you're the one bringing the food (that I'm paying you to bring). The housekeeper doesn't hang out and watch TV with you in the middle of her job, the pool guy doesn't take a dip in the pool while he's cleaning it, then why does the server get to chill at the table and chat like you're old friends??
I didn't realize that this was a restaurant adopted policy, so I will cut the servers a little slack on the tip in the future, but I still don't like it (grumble grumble grumble).
I have served for some time now and my sports bar restaurant does not encourage sitting in the booth to take an order. Having said that, I was invited by a group to take a seat and take their order... After about 1 minute of refusing (not knowing if I would get in trouble for sitting with a customer) I gave in (as to not make my guests upset).
And for the kneeling down to take an order, I will only do this if there is a small child on the outside of the booth. I t works much better than going "What did you order again?" (It gets loud in those sports restaurants)
Lonestar(at least when I worked there) told their servers to squat or sit at the table to create a "down home" friendly feeling. I used to get "talked to" by the manager when I refused to do it. They also required us to ask "would you like to add to that". Your a salesman to them not a server.
I'm with MikeD, At Lone Star, we were required to try to tell the "guest" liquor and appetizers right off the bat, sit at the table, take the orders right away, ask if everything is okay after 2 bites of food, and usually drop off the check at that point. Servers don't like being pushers, but unfortunately there are stupid punishments involved for not going through all the steps.
I agree - when I read the list of complaints, I thought Eatocracy needed to upgrade the class of joint they were visiting.
I really hate restaurants where waiters try to memorize orders. It doesn't denote class, it denotes low-quality. In places where quality is a true management concern and not just a talking-point, all orders get written down, period. Resolving disputes at serving-time is expensive, written orders expedite resolution.
For smart-alek comments from the wait staff, I reduce or eliminate the tip. I've withheld a tip over a single remark. I treat the staff with respect, but I'm not going to take any abuse either; as long as you are living on hand-outs, you can't transfer your last customer's baggage to me. Use your cigarette break to vent your frustrations, not my meal-time.
Mike – wow ... "as long as you are living on hand-outs" ... as a waitress/barista at a small coffee/sandwich restaurant, I am completely nonplussed by your comment. Let me assure you that I do not live on hand-outs, and evidently I wouldn't be getting your 7% tip either, as I am a friendly, outgoing person who genuinely cares about my customers, and if you start chatting with me, I will chat back with you. I don't plop myself at your table, but if it's a slow night and we've been chatting off and on, I might sit with you a few minutes.
Our menu isn't terribly complex, so if you and your companion order a sandwich and soup, odds are pretty good I can remember that alllll the waaaay to the kitchen, where I write it down and tell our cook. I'm a smart cookie like that.
I actually enjoy my job, I truly do. Maybe it was something I learned in the Army, or in college, or maybe I picked it up while I lived and traveled in Europe, but I like making your day a little better. I like having regulars who ask for me by name. I am not a gum-chewing 17 year old, nor am I some unmotivated loser living on handouts or whatever you decide you can throw my way. I have had other jobs, and I have had a lot of life experiences, and I **chose** this job, and I am good at it.
One thing I learned early on is that there are some people you should drop the attitude with: custodians/housekeepers, nurses/Dr's assistants and waitstaff. A few kind words, a smile, or just dropping your "I pay you, you're my servant" mindset will work wonders when you need additional help or something out of the ordinary. I get paid already, your tip is a bonus to me. But remember: I get paid to take your order correctly, bring it to you and collect your money for my employer. I don't get paid to actually care if you like your meal, I do that for free.
I don't know if I can make you understand that you're really not paying ME, you're paying my EMPLOYER. You are paying menu price for your triple shot half caf organic vanilla soy mocha and your half order bagel & lox easy on the capers extra cream cheese. I'm not nice and helpful to you this time dependant on how much you spend on your meal, I'm nice and helpful to you next time dependant on your attitude toward me, tip included.
I don't want to be your friend either, odds are good I hate you and everyone eating with you.
Nick then maybe it's time to find a new job?
Haha such a great people. 9/10 if my server sits next to me. I already hate the people i'm dining with wife/kids/co-workers/friends/ect ect. but now i hate the server as well and I don't even know him/her yet.
That being said if it's a casual place then shut your trap you picked the place. But if the plates are over 40 bucks then i expect the server to smile with a broken leg for me.
...ever think maybe you should get another job?... hater?
I love it! Been a bartender for 14 years and can't believe this is such a news flash for some but, the general public are a tiresome and a soul sucking bunch of tards of which *most* servers and bartenders laugh at behind their backs. However, that said, the small percentage of people that come in and actually have a clue about how to treat a human being are like angels sent from heaven and we love you, appreciate you and it's those kind of people that make our jobs worth it. And, to the people who advise "time to get another job", we are a tough bunch and have very thick skins and can handle pretty much anything that comes our way. Probably not going to change jobs and crumble just because we don't like you.....we laugh at your expense and move on, and still have fun! Like I said, the clued-in customers make it all worth it!
LOL. Thank you for my laugh of the day.
You obviously don't have the right personality for this. Do yourself a favor and find something where you don't have to deal with the public. Sounds like you have immaturity issues.
At least you're honest
Hilarious.. I'm a server and just when I'm reading all these ignorant, pompous complaints, I was thinking how much I hate people in general. Stay home if you get that offended by your server's behavior.
No effing joke dude. I have served for 7 years and the more I do it the more I hate people.
Cheers to that. I think some of you who disagree have never been servers. It's hard not to become jaded when dealing with the public.
I am not a server, but I've been working in customer service for the last 8 years and I must agree that I hate people. I also agree that the people that keep saying to get a new job have probably never worked with people. A lot of people act like two years-olds; they throw tantrums, are rude, and scream and curse at you when they can not get what they want. In my line of business, I work in a box office, this happens quite often because we sold out, don't have the exact seats someone wants, or because they can not make the day they bought tickets for and we can not do anything for them, but the people that really appreciate what you can do for them make it all worth while.
It's been years since I waited tables, but, yeah, thick skinned and don't care. That's the job. The other part is pretending that you do care, and manipulating people to get bigger tips. Some tables are easy to figure out, some harder. A group of 40something ladies, no men? Ask for ID when they order their wine. Let one of them catch you checking her out. Getting the food out to the table isn't supposed to be the hard part (although management, the kitchen, and the customer can make it hard), it's the mind game that makes it interesting.
If you don't like the service you got, just remember, what goes around comes around. You think the waiter has attitude? He probably feels the same way about you. You are one customer, getting cheap on one tip, out of his whole day. He is off giving someone else good service while you sit and mumble your complaints. Can't make you happy if you came in looking for an excuse to complain. Hey, here's your excuse, hope you enjoy it.
Wow, this is HORRIBLE!!!! OMG I CANT BELIEVE THIS HAPPENS!!!!! OH!!!!! LOOK OUT!!!!! HE IS SSITTING NEXT TO YOU!!!! HE IS GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!
Watch out, he'll stab you with his pen! Oh so funny!
No Brian. It's just not proper etiquette.
It's a PERSONAL SPACE issue. I don't like it when friends and family (people I know and like) invade my personal space – let alone a complete stranger. My boss (at my desk job) used to do it too. He would lean over the back of my chair or lean over me from the side to show me something on the computer and I could smell his rank coffee breath or the onions he ate for lunch. Restaurant workers wouldn't want us walking back to the back of the kitchen or the office, would they? It's also an etiquette issue. It matters not whether it is casual dining. I wouldn't want a fast-food worker sitting down with me either. (They don't take your order at the table, but often they bring something that they were waiting on or that was left off your order). Besides, even if it is encouraged or casual – it is bound to offend or annoy someone. You gonna risk tips for that? Better to err on the side of caution. You can be friendly & courteous without being TOO friendly.
Read my comment to the other waiter just above. You also need to grow up. If customers don't like the too familiar, invading their personal space style, respect that and relay it to the management. You also have immaturity issues and perhaps a bit of narcissism going on as if it's all about you personally. None of these statements about not liking staff siting at the tables with us is a personal comment on the wait person, it's a comment on serving styles. It's a bad idea from management. The majority of the comments here are by people who are made uncomfortable by it. The customer is always right, we are the ones that decide if you get a tip or not.
I saw a poll once about how servers who kneel to take an order get tipped more, on average, than those who don't. I always did, and no one complained. I guess it depends on who the server is.
I spit on you servers and you customers – go to Germany and learn how to dress for dinner and how to eat with you damn mouth shut and servers where uniforms that fit tired of butt cracks, shirts untucked and your bad breadth.
RobRaleigh, stay in germany, with the rest of the people that think like you. F' in Nazi.
This is corporate policy at most casual restaurants, don't blame the server, they have to do this
What? That's such a generalized statement that sounds completely implausible. What exactly does it say, word for word? And which restaurant says it? I would love to hear this! Thanks.
No restaurant I have ever worked at has required you to sit with the customer. Even if I was asked to I wouldn't. I don't want to make friends at work, I just want to get it done so that I can go and be with friends and the wifey! :D
chilis, outback, applebees, hooters that I know of. When they train you they encourage you to sit down preferably, but if you're not comfortable with that then they want you to get down on your knees so that you are at eye level with them. Corporate thinks it will give off a friendliness vibe. I never did it when I served, but I was constantly being told by the manager that I should have been. why is everyone arguing with us, we're the servers, you are people whose food we spit in
Casual or not , it's just bad policy. But you see this only in the US.
@thomas – How ironic, an elitist server. This would probably explain why you were constantly ridiculed. Your job is to make the customer happy; the greater your performance and customer satisfaction usually results in a greater tip or reward. Sure, the customer is not always right but it is your job to serve and give them a pleasurable experience, not be a prick. This is how you earn your money and repeat customers in case you have forgotten. Oh, and you are not above them, if you think you are then you need to find another job so someone else who deserves one can take your place.
>> chilis, outback, applebees, hooters
Convenient then that I've never been to Hooters, and that my wife and I stopped eating at Chili's and Applebees (due to poorly prepared food and the general noisy/cheap atmosphere) and Outback (due to how they tip share with hostesses and screw the servers).
If we want food at that price range, there are plenty of local places that DON'T have such poor corporate policies – and better food to boot.
There are many resturants that enrourage that a server sit while taking the order. I am personally a server at a national chain resturant while I work on my MBA. Which is the point I would like to leave. Many servers you experience are much more educated and ambitious then those which they serve. I believe this fact lends to many of the misunderstandings between the two. It is difficult, I find, to key in on how best to serve someone that doesn't understand that social rules are not suspended once they enter the resturant. this doesn't stop me from making an earnst attempt to do so, but does lead to some sterotyping of those who deem themselves as 'entitled". as a side note I find that those easiest offended are usually those who have frequented the resturant numerous times, and body types show their ability to be very critical based on their vast food experiences.
T-Rex: Of course your customers are "entitled" !!! They are PAYING for the pleasure of being in the restaurant and TIPPING you IF you serve them well. With that holier than thou attitude I can tell you are NOT making as much as you could be. I was a server for many years and then a manager and a general manager of a national chain. I made far more money as a server than any other time because no matter what – you treat the customer like a KING or QUEEN while they are in your station. They are spending their hard earned money for a night out. Get over yourself and your post graduate degree. If your attitude is judging your customers – you are not making as much as you could be making.
I crouch down because I am tall and want to be able to hear everyone without having to ask u to repeat your order, restaurants can be very loud. I am sitting at your table, I dont want to be your friend, I am just trying to do my job to satisfy you.
i agree as servers were on our feet running for 8 to 10 hours of the day the one time of solitude is we have is when were listening to someone give there order that crouch or sit down is often used to give us that last bit of energy needed to give you the best service possible.
Also tall here – I don't want to make you stare at my peen, so I crouch down to take the order. After that, I'll stand and serve.
What if we want to stare at your peen? ;)
As long as you differentiate CROUCH and SIT, and the necessity of crouching because of the noise, then it's fine and dandy. That makes sense. But if a server gets in a booth with the diner or sits at the table then he has just screwed up. Just don't do it. Bad etiquette.
Eric, that is my pet peeve – LOUD RESTAURANTS. I want to be able to converse with my friends without having to shout. I have been in places where we actually resorted to texting to carry on a conversation. The high ceilings and accoustically hard surfaces amplify every noise. What ever happened to the cozy, intimate restaurants? Where have they gone?
I was a server all through college – at both fancy and lousy restaurants. I never sat at the customer's table. It's rude. Plain and simple. Customers are over-paying for meals because they also get the perk of having it served to them and of being catered to for a little while. That was my job - to make sure that they felt well tended to and spoiled, if only for the hour or so they were at my restaurant. If there's a good reason for breaking etiquette then understood (like crouching down so you can here them), but I have yet to find any good reason to actually sit down at a customers table.
And if you really feel you must sit (or it's restaurant policy), then at least have the courtesy of asking the customer if they mind that you sit and take their order.
You know, I could understand why Eric said this. Some people are ridiculously tall and especially if it is one of the dining restaurants like Sizzler, you've got all the background noise above the tables so it makes sense for the waiter/waitress having to squat down to hear you. However sitting down with you is a different story altogether. I would likely look at them weird unless it was a really hot chick. Then they are more welcome to sit and chat all they want. Although I am taken so I guess it wouldn't go beyond that.
Many franchise restaurants require their servers to kneal down in front of the table while taking an order. I wouldn't blame the server too much on this one. More like some twit in an office of the company which owns the franchise deciding what will make the patrons feel more relaxed. Little do they know it usually has the opposite effect...
This sounds fishy. Please show your proof. I bet the restaurants you're talking about "suggest" kneeling if one is tired. That's all.
Not true, bustacap; I've worked for Friday's, Ruby Tuesday, Olive Garden, Buca di Beppo, Applebee's, and Pizzeria Uno (all large, nationwide chains) and every last one of them had written policies that told you to sit or crouch so you could be eye-level with the customer. These companies all did studies on whether you should crouch or stand at the table or not. The customers in the studies by and large felt more at ease when the server got down to eye level with them, so they made it policy.
bustacap, maybe times have changed, but when I waited tables, the policy was "If you are tired, too bad, complain to someone who cares, if you need some extra rest, you should have gotten some, on your own time." and who thinks that kneeling on a hard floor in front of a customers table is "restful"?
Having worked in a restaurant, I know that we were TRAINED to crouch by your table and we get demerits from our managers if we are caught not doing so. It is so as to appear not to be talking down to customers...trust me, it is as awkward for us as it is for you!
http://www.koalatynews.com/Docs/Server/Server_packet_for_New_Outbacker.doc specifically states that servers will kneel to eye level. (I'm posting this for Bustacap, but I don't see one of his posts offhand with a reply link :)
That's total garbage. which restaurant was that? just to make sure I never go there.
It says in the link that it's Outback, and you should go there because they are too cheap to pay hostesses minimum wage. Instead they argued in court that hostessing is a job that normally qualifies for tips (except I have never ever seen a restaurant where tipping the hostess is expected). But then they explicitly forbid their hostesses from accepting tips. So they pay less than minimum wage, won't let them accept tips, while arguing incorrectly that hostesses don't have to be paid minimum wage because it's a tip profession.
Then they split the tip share from all the servers with the hostesses, so the servers who actually earn the tips get less. This alone is why I stopped eating at Outback several years ago.
I can't believe all the whiny, pathetic comments from diners. I've got a suggestion: STAY HOME if you're such an anti-social mess that you can't be gracious to a food server!
"I can't stand when servers squat next to my table to take my order..." Oh my God!!! What losers!
With you on this one, I would rather be-friend my server and not have him F-UP my food then be an ass and get whats comming too me.
You're an ass!!!
Hey people, take it easy on wait staff, most do a good job and work hard. If they are doing something you don't like it's the manager making them do it. The waiter/waitress has more common sense, but they have to do whatever their employer requires of them to keep a job. You should be complaining of bad service, especially no service, that is really annoying.
Ronald Trup... GET THE HELL OVER YOUR SELF!!!!!
I agree, I wouldn't mind if a waiter crouched next to me to take my order. I would be happy that he or she definitley heard what I ordered and therefore wouldn't screw it up. I see how waiting tables can be a pain considering the ungracious comments from people who apparently go out to eat with the intent of treating the waiters like robots who have no emotions.
I agree that there are far worse things than having a server sit down at your table. Just be happy that they (hopefully) are not tucking pubes into your mash potatoes.
Hypocrite much?
I agree 100%. Does it bother you when servers smile at you and ask invasive questions like "how are you today?" Or even worse, when they give a crap about making sure you have a good dining experience? Yeah, omg, unbelievable.
I would never sit down at the table next to my clientelle... This is a bit too much. Most of you who side with this are almost saying, "well, atleast thier only doing this, rather than destroying your food..." Why do they have an ultimatum... Why can't they provide good service and know thier boundaries between guest and server. I have worked for OUTBACK for 4 years and have never been advocated to sit down with the guests... I don't know what "Corporate Policy" BS you guys are talking about.
The only reasonable comment I've seen so far.
You people are whiny, petulant, self-regarding c*nts.
Amen!
Ronnie-
I've got money that says your IQ is lower than the tables you're serving. "Stay Home", what a joke. Who do you think pays for your porn addiction; the customers. You know, the people that don't stay home. You are the kind of server that would get no tip from me. BTW diners, if you have bad service from the Ronnies of the world, just don't tip them....anything. When they chase you down to ask where there tip is, tell them you pay for your food but you tip for service. Then turn your back and walk away. When this happens to me, I call my friends and encourage them to go to the same restaurant and to NOT tip if they get the same server. Let the server beg on the corner for their bus money home.
Likely that whomever made this post is impersonating Ronald Trump. How 'bout you go and do something with your life instead of making stupid posts under someone else's name. This is one reason why when someone famous or well known is put in the spotlight for something some moron impersonating them said on CNN or other media website.
why is almost everyone so darned worked up? I eat out all the time and rarely experience problems. It seems to me the wait staff is always polite and helpful, but maybe I choose my restaurants better than you do.
completely agree with Jim and TheCannibal. You're not being an "anti-social mess" just because you don't want the server sitting at your table. I agree with being gracious and courteous to your server. But your server should also be gracious and courteous to you. And just plopping themselves down at your table is NOT gracious or courteous. Sheesh, I hope to goodness you're not a waiter.
(and, wow, talk about "whiny, pathetic comments".... did you read what you wrote? doesn't get any more whiny or pathetic than that)
get off your high horse, ronald!
You stay right on that "high horse" Ronald, and tell 'em like it is! I agree, I concur, and it's the truth! The fact that diners are , in fact, so dang whiney about servers just PROVES that they would NEVER be able to handle our jobs (not that most would even *want* our jobs, but I'm just sayin). They don't like how a server is SERVING them? Oh jeez, try serving a bunch of whiney ass customers and then you'll start to understand. Staying home might be a better option....for ME! :)
I can be gracious to my server, while still disliking their or their restaurant's policies. What's a more courteous way to tell them that I don't like what they're doing – tell them right away to their face (and risk having my food messed with) or post it here and hope they or their corporate overlords learn something?
I was a server /bartender at a very well known chain in a tourist city while I was obtaining my MBA from a top ten B School. I have to say, most of the people that came into our restaurant treated the servers with contempt and disdain – we tried to be friendly but they ( the general public) had such horrible attitudes most of the time. I always controlled my temper because I knew in a year I would be making three times the money of most of our customers (these are people that I WOULD NEVER want to socialize with outside of work) For those of you who have never served, it is a tough, physically demanding job and a lot of people do it AFTER finishing another job OR classes. Cut them some slack – and bear in mind that some of the people to whom you behave rudely or toward whom you exhibit a superior attitude may be, in a few years, in charge of your loan or performing your appendectomy. Servers and bartender have LONG memories. I know I do!
Ron, If you sent every customer home, What would you do for a living??? You better respect the customer or they'll be gone, and so will your job... Right now is not the time to be complaining about customers. Unless you prefer the eatery you work for has customers to throw away.....
Ummmm....waitstaff IS there to SERVE the CUSTOMER–not the other way around.
It's not about having social issues and not being gracious to the waitstaff as you suggest. They are there to take MY order, serve me, and make me feel comfortable (if not pampered) during my dining experience. That's what I'm paying for with my tip. If I don't get that type of service, then lousy tip. If I get it, then I'm a generous tipper. It's the servers' choice.
Scott: The poster is RONALD Trump, not Donald Trump. How is that an "impersonation of someone famous?)
And Pierce: Re "Oh jeez, try serving a bunch of whiney ass customers and then you'll start to understand. Staying home might be a better option....for ME!" Yes, you are probably right. If you can't handle a basic SERVICE job, then you should indeed stay home.
Yeah, because you are SO much above a server....
Yep, that's why you are called a "server". Your job is to serve me and the other patrons. You are not a peer when you are at work. Suck it up cry-baby.
Exactly, TheCannibal! I wonder how well this would work in other industries. Maybe I'll go into the office of the people that are paying me and get all friendly and cozy with them... sit in their big comfy chair and call them "hon"... let's see how well that will go over.
Goodness!... No one is saying that customers are "SO" much better than servers, but when you're at work (you know – your SERVING job), your job is to serve me and make me feel a little bit special for an hour. That's what I'm tipping you for. If you can't handle that and for some reason it makes you feel inferior then you are in the wrong profession. Get a new job.
My biggest problem working in the tipping industry (server and bellhop) was people getting snooty when I used the words "Sir" and "Ma'am" ( I realize I was getting paid decent money to make the guest as happy as possible). They acted like I was intentionally calling them old. Very frustrating. Nothing else I could think of to remedy this dilemna...
Actually I am not a server anymore. But you are not above a server as a human being. I actually loved serving, mostly great people who come out to have a good time...except for a few people like yourself who are complete douchebags. Actually I loved having those customers as it made for funny stories later.
Thank goodness you're not a server anymore. And no, customers are not above servers as human beings. But servers are not above customers as human beings either. As just a regular human being in your everyday life, would you sit down at a strangers table without, at the very least, asking first? No, you wouldn't. So why do you get to do it as a server?
I am a server and respect and courtesy go both ways. You get what you give – which is probably why you've had (as you so maturely put it) "douchebags" at your tables.
I can do without the forced folksiness/ over-famialiarity deal. As in, "What can I get for you guys tonight?", especially when "we guys" are thirty years older than the server and include females as well as males. This tends to be a chain restaurant phenomenon, so I suspect the servers are actually trained to speak that way. So management, take notice. "We guys" aren't thrilled.
What do you want them to say? What can I get for you ladies and gentlemen? Get over it
Really? Your mad that someone doesnt speak the right way? They dont teach us servers to talk that way. THATS HOW WE TALK. So What if im 25 and your 55. I come up to a table of 10 people, im still going to say, What can i get you guys tonight. Wow. If that bothers you, please, dont leave hte house and ever come to my restaurant.
gotta go with the naysayers on this one I use "Folks" no gender discrimination and impersonal enough not to imply your joining their group.
Sorry, Eli, but we say "you guys" now. You don't have to like it. Once all the old people die all that will be left is a bunch of people calling each other "guys." What a nightmarish hellscape.
Using "guys" like this is a regional thing. I grew up using it as a genderless word for a group of people. It wasn't until I started travelling that I realized it's not a common usage everywhere. If you're from another place, you may have to get used to the local vernacular.
I have always hated being greeted as a "guy" . This started in my early twenties and has continued for 20+ years. A simple "Hello, how are all of you tonight?" or "What can I get for all of you?" is appropiate. I guess common sense and politeness are not as important these days. And yes, I was a server myself for over 10 years.
Really? Chill out. Eli, I hear you. I "could do without" the "you guys" thing too. Don't get me wrong, I use it sometimes, but don't think I ever used it while waiting tables. What's wrong with just saying "What can I get for you tonight?" I don't hold it against my server if they use the term, I just don't particularly like it...especially if it's used in every sentence!
Personally, as a woman, I don't mind the "you guys" thing. I meet up with my group of friends who are all grown women, and the first thing out of my mouth is Hey guys. I was even taught in my corporate ethics course that calling a woman girl is considered sexual harassement, but including her in saying guys was perfectly acceptable. I just think that Eli has a pet pieve with this one, and sorry to say, not many others do.
I agree Eli. Wait staff should treat customers with respect and deference. The customers are how the servers make their money. Calling me "Hon" or "Sweetie" or "Buddy" is not being respectful, and neither is sitting down at my table. I have more than once told a waiter that he is not my guest and I would appreciate it if he wouldn't invite himself to sit down.
If that makes me a jerk, so be it. I am paying for a certain quality of food and level of service, and I expect to get what I pay for. This includes the tip. Tips are earned not a given. For me average service earns a 15% tip. If my server does a good job (keeps my drink refilled, takes away empty dishes promptly, etc.) I will tip much better than that. On the flip side I will give a much smaller tip for below average service, and will stiff a waiter or waitress who is obnoxious or doesn't seem to care if I eat dinner or not.
Prime example of this is from yesterday. I and my girlfriend went to dinner. My soup was actually cold, so I told the waitress. She made a flip remark about it when she took it back and never once apologized for the problem. (I know that it was the cook's fault and not hers, but she is the face of the business to the customer.) Then she did come back finally to refill my tea, and poured unsweet tea into my glass with sweet tea. No apology for that either.
Mistakes happen, and I can forgive them as long as people seem to care about it. But not to at least say "I'm sorry for the mistake" means I am not going to leave very pleased. She got a $2 tip for a $25 dinner for two.
re:
"Eli
I can do without the forced folksiness/ over-famialiarity deal. As in, "What can I get for you guys tonight?", especially when "we guys" are thirty years older than the server and include females as well as males. This tends to be a chain restaurant phenomenon, so I suspect the servers are actually trained to speak that way. So management, take notice. "We guys" aren't thrilled."
I agree, "you guys" or "We guys" is discriminatory based on gender. Would you (anybody) say "you guys" to a group of women (regardless of their age)? I would suggest a gender neutral approach of “yall” or “yalls”. Sure both are from the south, and it makes one sound less educated, but it is effective and gender neutral. I would much rather say “you all” or the contraction “yall” than to possibly communicate that I, the server, do not care to pay enough attention to detail, or to yall (the customer(s) at the table), to properly address everybody in an accurate manner.
Duckie – Nice that your friends use the term "guys". However, the dining experience is not about you – its about the customer, and his experience – IF you want people to come back. Your comment makes me cringe with its lack of respect and customer focus. While I agree with the gender neutral-ness of "guys", it is way too casual for any business transaction. No – I've never been a server. But, I am a nurse – and deal with customers 8-12 hours every day. Learn some respect, clean up your grammar, tone down your attitude, and maybe you'll get better tips. Every interaction is a transaction.
Allright servers...... when the early bird speacials come in, the word guys is off limits.
I have been a server in burger joints, fine dining as well as white glove private clubs. you have nice folks who want a nice meal brought to them, and then you have the people who have nothing more interesting in their lives to talk about ('cause they're old) so they pay attention to the poor trained monkey that has their food (us servers).
I waited tables and bartended for 10 years. I cannot count the times that some foolish, self-important ass treated me with no respect because I was waiting on them. The next time you go out to eat, you need consider the reality which is your waiter needs to be treated with as much respect as you. If the service is bad, so be it, but don't cry that your waiter used "you guys" instead of "sir" or "madam" - he or she is merely trying to provide you with the best service possible because that's how they make their money.
OH.... and don't whine about the a tip being a "gratuity" for good service. That's wrong. If you don't want to be waited on, go to Golden Corral, otherwise, pony up 15% at least because your waiter is paying taxes on YOUR food!!! If the service is bad, again, fine, punish the waiter. Stop being such a self-rightous jerk by thinking that you should be treated like royalty when you are paying $25 for dinner, you fool! 25 bucks? Seriously? Foolish.
You know, I agree with them saying "you guys" if you are sitting with a group. It is a generalized comment referring to the group and not the individual. Back when I was a waiter I would say the exact thing to a group. Individually, I would say "Are you ready to order?" but wouldn't pester them about it if they said they need more time, wait a few minutes and check again. Be smart about it though if they are talking to eachother pointing at the menu, then most times they are still not ready to have their order taken.
If in doubt, then walk past them and if they look up at you with expectant eyes or say "Excuse me." or "Excuse me, sir" then you will know that they are ready. It is all situational. Hopefully I will never have to work in the food business again.
I agree with Eli. "What can I get for you" would be quite sufficient.......
The problem is that "folks" has fallen out of the vernacular. It's exactly the correct word for the situation. Instead, most people use "guys" at which some people may take offense.
In 40 years older people will be upset that their servers call them "you douches" or something when they'd rather be called "guys". On the other hand, good servers will recognize that language has changed, and that they'll better server older customers (and receive better tips) if they use the language of their audience, not the language they grew up with.
I served tables for years in a mid-price chain, later managed... a couple of steadfast rules: "never say 'guys,' it can be offensive to some, and never sit unless invited to and not busy"
You take that seat and the table in another section whose server hasn't been by to refill their water since the beginning of the meal or bring their check in ages is going to be looking at you wondering why you're sitting and they're being ignored. They don't know the concept of sections. They know they've had bad service all night and now they're seeing someone sit and chat.
I had regulars that invited me to sit and chat if it was dead, and if I could, I'd happily do it... after all, they came in for me. But I would NEVER be so presumptuous as to have a seat and take an order. The squatting I don't mind–there are height/noise issues. But to sit? Push my way in to a booth? Never.
I'm a woman and use "guys" all the time, including with my female friends, but I agree that it's fairly casual, especially for a nicer restaurant.
Because I'm from the north, I could never pull off saying "y'all" with a straight face, and "folks" is just unnatural. I'm surprised no one's suggested it but what would be wrong with "how is everyone tonight?" or "how is everyone doing?"
I can't honestly remember what I used to greet groups when I was a server, but that's because most of the experience was so miserable that I've pretty much blocked it out. (I was very sweet and respectful, but easily flustered and absolutely awful at remembering things... definitely not cut out for waiting tables!) As a result I have a huge amount of respect for the servers who do manage to do a good job getting my order to me... and I'm pretty darn forgiving of those who don't, provided they treat me with respect.
Actually, Shall, that is exactly correct. "May I take your order, Sir/Ma'm?" Or if the dining is casual, "What may I get for you, ladies/gentlemen/ladies and gentlemen?" is considered proper and appropriate. Following proper etiquette allows everyone to understand their role in a social situation and keeps appropriate boundaries between people, and the line between strangers and friends should only be crossed by invitation. If you find a restaurant's service is not meeting the standards of etiquette don't eat there.
When I was a server, I "squatted" at tables... not because I wanted to be friends... but because it made it MUCH easier to hear someone's order and get it correct. You want your order correct, don't you?
Apparently these tools would rather have an incorrect order, judging from these ill-informed, stale responses.
not if it means they can get something free out of it! and they dont have to tip you either!
I hear Leven on this. Accuracy on the order is increased when the waiter can actually hear the customer.
Is it really that bad?
I actually like it when a waiter does that. It prevents them from having to shout down at you. Also you don't have to strain your neck so much if you are short, and the waiter is tall.
Yeah, if they are tall the customer would likely appreciate not having to look up or look at their crotch. I'm for them kneeling down to take the order.
A short bend at the waist should work just as well or better than a squat. Just stand back far enough so that, once you bend a bit, you aren't looming over the table or your guests.
If you still can't hear at that point, it's your restaurant's fault for having the music too loud or for not including sound dampeners on the ceiling.
I agree. this happens a lot to me at places like Outback or Applebees. i especially cant stand when they sit at the table with you.
I absolutely HATE it when waitstaff squat or sit next to me while taking my order.
Yea cause that's so terrible...someone being friendly. Get over yourself. Or do us all a favor and run your car with the garage door closed. You're wasting valuable oxygen
I hate the Lakers too! I'm with ya on all fronts.
AHAHAHA! me too, but I think you meant to post it in the sports thread.
I am in agreement – the Lakers suck
Yea i hope the lakers kill them selves in a car in the garage too....
Seriously, you need to grow up. I can't believe this blog. I did not think it would be as bad as this.
Suggesting people kill themselves because they have a different opinion than you??? Who raised you?
Not every waiter is perfect, but many of you have no idea how many restaurants, esp. chain restaurants REQUIRE their servers to push dessert, visit every 5 minutes, and refill glasses constantly. And yes, most waiters are not happy about their job, not necessarily because of YOU, but the 15 other people who just stiffed him or treated him poorly. Get some perspective. If you want the ultimate in waitstaff, go to a fine dining restaurant. YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
Absolutely – a lot of big chain restaurants require you to "suggestive sell" desserts, drinks, etc to drive up your receipts. In fact, when they send in "secret shoppers" to guage your overall service, they're also checking on whether or not you're hitting all of the chain's required upsell strategies. Suggesting dessert may seem like the stupidest idea to a server who's clearing two plates of quadruple pasta servings, but he or she will likely do it because management requires it. Forget common sense...it's all about the money the chain can take in.
I love it when waitstaff are aware of the level of water in my glass. I guzzle it like it's going out of style and always get a bit sad and angsty if I have none. I once considered running to the bathroom to fill my glass, but my husband give me the stank-eye. In any case, yay on the frequent filling of the water, nay on the sitting next to me. (It's not you, it's me. I have an unusually large personal space bubble.) And we're excellent tippers, so please, I don't want to hear any bitter people going on about how horrible I am for having simple preferences when I dine out. I never tip under 20%. If the service is fabulous, I tip 30-35%.
I hate "can I take that out of your way, for you?" Not only is it redundant but it presupposes I am hot and bothered about a plate's being in my "way." I think it is impolite to clear a diner's plate when others at the table are eating. It makes everyone feel awkward like someone ate too fast or someone is being a slowpoke. So, wait until it appears that everyone is done and then say "May I clear the table" or something similar. Don't give me any baloney about saving time and being efficient. People go out to eat to enjoy themselves and not to see how fast the waiter can clear the table.
Most restaurants require their servers to pre-bus a table and the servers can actually be reprimanded if they pass a table with empty plates/glasses and not remove them. Your problem is actually with the management and their rules, not with the server that is just doing their job.
We are trained to clear empty plates from the table and get in trouble for not doing so. I often feel my customers are appreciative that they dont have to continue their conversations over a bunch of empty cluttered plates.
If I'm done, signified by silverware crossed on the plate or paper napkins on the plate, the I'm happy to have that plate gone immediately. I'm just more comfortable finishing my beverage and visiting without that dirty plate and half-eaten food sitting there.
Some servers take the clearing tables quickly a little too seriously. I took my young daughter out for breakfast and after our food arrived, she needed to use the restroom. I took my purse with me because I certainly wouldn't leave it unattended at the table. By the time we came back, I thought I had gotten confused or lost because there were people sitting at our table. After a few minutes of wandering around like an idiot trying to find our table, I finally asked the manager and found out that our server had thought we were done (two bites and two minutes after receiving the food). They were extremely busy, but that was a ridiculous mistake. We at least got our meals for free. And, though I shouldn't have, I still left a tip for the guy. Having known several severs in my life, I was quite frankly afraid that if I didn't, he may end up spitting in my food if we ever came back again, even though it was his fault and not mine.
Most servers are trained to take away plates when they are empty to reduce clutter at the table. It really depends how the servers are trained. Some establishments require servers to wait for everyone at the table to be done. Others ask the servers to clear the plates.
"Can we transfer our bar tab to our table?" Um... Bartenders work for tips to people! If I transfer your tab to your table the waiter's check gets padded with my sales and I get nothing. Next time try saying it with a ten or twenty spot and i'll be glad to transfer your tab!
Are we supposed to care? We are the customers, we want what's most convenient for us.
I disagree with tip sharing as a corporate policy, but in this case you ought to work something out to get a portion of the waiter's tip for that table.
If the waiter won't share... then how about you water down the drinks for his tables' customers for a while? Remember that for drinks ordered at the table, it's HIS tip that will suffer due to that, not yours.
AMEN brotha! As a former bartender, my pet peeve was doing all the work and having the tip transferred to another table. Just an FYI people, servers and bartenders have to claim 10% of their sales at the end of the their shift. Don't give me that "its your job" crap. Then if thats the case, stay home, you have a kitchen. If you want someone to wait on you hand and foot, compensate them for their hard work. Trust me, they are not there to make 7 dollars an hour...
If a waiter kneeling next to you while taking your order agitates you that much then you have problems. Most likely your a company man who sits in an office taking orders from the higher ups. I bar tend and have accumulated quite the net worth. I Own a side business and am a homeowner. I most likely do a lot better than you. I work when I want to and take extended vacations. It's funny observing poor shmucks like you, because your probably out dining with a mistress while your wife is at home taking care of the kids. I see it all the time. Enjoy your boring life, company man.
You also have no appreciation for spelling and grammar. Classy.
They do not do this to be on your level, in fact the squat next unde ryou to show subserviance.
Also, unfortunately, to show their underwear, at least if they're wearing shorts. Ugh.
A slight bow will get the job done in a much more respectable fashion, as long as they don't loom over the table or the guests.
I don't want anyone showing subservience, though. It makes me uncomfortable. But I also don't want chumminess. Heck, I wouldn't plop down on a booth bench next to a friend uninvited, let alone a total stranger!
I just want to order my dinner and turn my attention back to my dining companions. You know, the people I went there to eat with, a category that does NOT include any of the restaurant staff, up to and including the CEO of BigCorporateRestaurantCo. When someone squats down next to my table, I feel like a little kid with the kindergarten teacher crouching down to offer a tissue and check on a skinned knee. It's annoying. And if the music is too loud for them to hear customers' orders, the management needs to turn down the freaking music, because if the servers can't hear the customers, the customers can't hear each other either. I've been to a few restaurants like that. Once each.
There's a TOTAL PSYCHOLOGY goin' on here...both ways. Why they do it, and why or why not people like or dislike it. IT'S REALLY QUITE FASCINATING. For instance, sitting or crouching down puts the customer on the same level as the server...and they do it so the server isn't seemingly "talking down" in a sense. Yes, they're here to serve–but the BOTTOM LINE IS everything servers are TRAINED TO DO, annoying or not, is Psychology...AND GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE. Servers get better tips if they're "buds", not a mere "waitperson". THAT'S THE OTHER REASON. And, tips are the name of the game in a profession that PAYS LESS THAN 5 BUCKS AN HOUR. These people DEPEND on tips. NOT THAT ALL OF 'EM DESERVE 'EM...Karma's a bear both ways.
Very interesting point, Kath. Clearly there is a wide range of expectations/peeves when it comes to our dining experiences. What I've noticed in reading the comments here (infinitely more interesting than the actual article!) is two-fold: 1. It seems we could all benefit from brushing up on some basic etiquette/manners and 2. We all need to relax just a bit.
Knowing that we all have such different points of view should only reinforce understanding between servers and diners of the world. There is nothing wrong with having high expectations of your server or of your customer but we should probably lighten up just a bit about our dining experiences... on both sides of the kitchen door!
I think everyone just needs to take a deep breath and STOP COMPLAINING. It must be incredibly stressful to be so bent out of shape over something as pleasent as going out for a meal. There are very easy ways around most of the issues raised in this rant of a blog post. Simply ask.. Ask for some space, ask them to return in just a few moments, tell the eager waterboy that you are alright. A little kindness goes a long way, and if this is happening to you this often there are two probable causes. A) You are going to the wrong places, or more likely B) You are the common denominator, so BE NICE!
Agreed! Thanks for the perspective.
People aren't all that stressed out by this stuff. It's just that we've got a chance to vent about the little things that have nagged at us for ages, and the Great Wall of Venting looks a lot more vitriolic than it really is. For example, I don't march outside Outback with signs saying "I hate servers sitting in my booth!"; I just eat at other restaurants more and Outback less, because I'm going for the whole experience, not just the food, and other places are doing the experience better.
With no non-verbal cues, and no real interaction, in a conversation like this, it's easy to see a post meant as "yeah, that bugs me too, wish they wouldn't do it" as a screaming tirade against the unspeakable tyranny of aggressively plate-clearing servers. But for most of us, and most of the gripes, I think it's not even something important enough to mention to the server, let alone the manager; posting here is just a chance to take our pet peeves out for a walk.
Sounds like the author of this article and most of the people agreeing with him/her have entitlement issues. I actually like a server that can balance being friendly and servicing me at the same time. I don't like vultures, don't get me wrong, but if they're doing their job and want to have a nice chat while I'm eating, that's completely okay with me, so long as they're not interrupting a current conversation with those I'm eating with.
My biggest pet peeve with servers is when they let my drink go completely empty and I have to ask them for a refill. Other than that, I'm very easy going and easy to please. I know how hectic it is to be in their shoes, so I can't judge. Same goes for anyone, especially those who have not done the job.
People who complain about servers being too friendly aren't seeing the big issue here. A lot of times, if these servers don't sell the specials enough their job is put in jeopardy due to corporate execs breathing down their necks on a constant basis. Don't believe me? Ask the employee(s) yourself. The execs seem to believe you can force people to buy these things, when in reality, of course, you can't.
And before someone asks, no, I don't work in food service. I have in the past, but not currently.
Agree/disagree all you like, but this is just a commentary based on my observations as both a previous employee of the field and someone who does eat at a lot of restaurants even to this day.
I agree, Josh. 99% of what I do as a server is because it's required. At the chain I work at, we are not allowed to say the words: Drink, Appetizer, or Dessert while we are taking an order. I've worked at two locations, and at my previous location, if they caught us saying any one of those 3 times in one night, we were suspended. We are also required to try and sell the drink of the day (by name, of course), any other beverage, especially alcoholic, as long as it's not soda, an appetizer, salad or soup or any additional add-ons, and dessert. It's as exhausting telling customers about everything as it is for the customer who has to hear it, but it's our job.
That said, while we aren't forcing people to buy anything, suggestive sells does work.. not 100% of the time, but at least once or twice a night.
Me, too! Hate that!
You people who "hate" all of these things act like half the time it is our fault that we are doing this! Did you ever think tha we are FORCED o do more than 75% of he hings you hate because it is policy? And, in urn, you punish us for a shitty tip... thanks. I suppose that 2.33/hr is going to get me by. And don't even tell me to find a REAL job, because, for all you know, I DO have a real job, or, I am going to school but I have to wait on your unfriendly, crabby ass who thinks they are queen elizabeth and is always right (when in reality, you didn't order that) just to make ends meet! So what if I wanna try and be your friend... maybe I'm a really nice person and if you got to know me we would go out fordrinks some time! Some people are so inconsiderate and cruel. Reality is that the service industry is one of the most sressful industries out there because we have to deal with such horrible people sometimes... Finally, if you are waiting longer than usual, or, you have a mean server, chances are you are A. Just rude, or B. you've been there before and tipped terrible... we always remember a face with a tip.. GOoD DAY!
Fine, so I get the point that you may be required to do some of these things but the reason for the article is the fact that most wait staff in this country are presumptious, rude, and think thatt he service they provide is worth a price above gold. You've proven that you're one of those servers in your comments on the article. You should be glad that you have a job at all in this economy and feel blessed that you have people coming into your establishment that are able to give you a tip at all. From your sentence structure, grammar, and use of profanity I can tell you right now that if you were to wait on me you'd be lucky to get more than the standard 15% from me. Improve your attitude, grow up, and learn a little about humility-I can assure you that it will do you a world of good.
First off, a server asking "How are we doing" is correct english. So I don't know what the issue is there. 2nd, it's easy to condemn the low wage workers on the job they do. We should next have an article on gas station attendants and how there not so attentive or sweat shop workers not making better shoes. The reason you get onIy "ok" service is because its barely "ok" pay. If you want to complain you should try having a job where there is no requirement that you get paid(tipped) even if you do a good job. See how long your perfect service holds up.
"We" is the first person plural. It would be the same as going to a table and asking "How am I doing?" followed by "How are you all doing?" You should be asking the second person plural only of "you all".
"First off, a server asking "How are we doing" is correct english."
Not in American or British English, those being the only two dialects I'm sufficiently familiar with to judge. It's like asking "Are we hungry?" or something. "We" = "you and me". I know if *I* am hungry, but I don't know if *YOU* are hungry, so it's a question I can't answer. It's a question nobody can answer, because it requires them to know the internal state of another person. "How are we doing?" is correct if you're asking a fellow team member in a competitive event to check the leader board, but NOT a correct way to ask "How are you doing?" In English, unlike many other languages, the second person singular and the second person plural pronouns are both "you"; "we" is exclusively the first person plural. The closest English comes to having a distinct second person plural is the regionalism "y'all" (from "you all"), which I personally think needs to be adopted into standard English; it fills a linguistic need. "We" does not mean "y'all".
With the price of dinners, tip and tax who can afford to go out to eat. Why don't restaurants include all of that in the meal??? Then, if some waiter tries to kiss you ass for a bigger tip, they are wasting their time and know it. Why are tips supposed to be calculated on the price of the meal? I'll have a salad....20%. I'll have prime rib...20%. Does not make sense.
If the restaurants included tips into the meal, the prices would go up because then they would be forced to pay the servers more than $2-$3/hour. Either way, you end up paying the same amount. The fun part is that because restaurants don't want to pay taxes on our wages, the servers have to take their chances on losing money to serve you. Tip out to ancillary staff is based generally on gross sales. If you get something for free, that server still has to pay out based on the original amount. Anywhere from 3%-10% (or more) of the sales go to bartenders, bussers, hosts, etc. From what is left, we have to pay federal taxes on the tips we earn. I don't get a paycheck, my $3/hr goes fully to pay my taxes. If my tip income falls below 8% of gross sales, the IRS looks my way wondering why. Low or no tips means that I'm paying either the restaurant or the government for the pleasure of serving you. Now you know why servers get bad attitudes sometimes.
Good point. Why should someone's pay for serving me be based on what I buy? In a retail store, the cashier makes the same wage if I'm buying something for 98 cents or $98. A server does the same work - taking my order, delivering it to the kitchen, picking up my food, bringing it to my table, and attending to beverages, etc. - if I'm buying a burger or a prime rib dinner. Why should they get two or three times the pay for one as the other? And it's not because they upsold me to prime rib - if I go into a restaurant for a burger, all the selling in the world isn't going to put prime rib on my plate, and I doubt if I'm unique in that.
For the love of all that's holy, pay the servers a fair wage and ditch this whole "tip" thing.
And yeah, I've been a server. It wasn't the customers I resented - it was the management who made my pay contingent on whether or not my customer had just gotten paid or just bought his textbooks (it was a college town). College students, by the way, were generally good tippers; businessmen in groups of 4 or more, and university administrators in any number, were the absolute worst.
Actually, statistics show that when servers squat or sit at the customers level they tip better. However, I hate it as well and I don't know where they got the statistics 'cause I don't know no one who likes it.
I prefer this to craning my neck trying to look up at them.
Sounds to me like you feel you are better than your waiter/waitress. If that's the case you probably tip crappy and are a pain in the a** to wait on. hope karma finds it's way back to you! And yes, i'm a server.
I like it when they sit down next to me, especially if its a cute girl waitress. You people who dont like that can go to Hell
Me, too! Go SQUAT somewhere else, pal!
Thank you Walrus !!!! I understand that a restaurant is casual, but I do not go to a restaurant to make friends with the staff.
I agree – a restaurant isn't a day care center where a child responds to an eye-level communication.
We're adults in an adult restaurant, presumably!
Sorry u hate it, but for us waiters to do our job, according to the restaurant, we are required (at most restaurants) to kneel and get on the patrons level or lower.
If your restaurant requires you to sit or squat, you must work for a low end chain restaurant. If we are debating about this issue, wouldn't you not sit or squat? You don't hear any debates on customers complaining about servers standing and taking orders. if there is doubt, why do it and pi$$ people off?
Agreed. Not fair to stiff the server on the tip if they are only doing what the restaurant requires of them. Next time a server sits down next to me (which, personally, I really don't like but won't make a big stink over or be rude to them) I will simply tell the restaurant manager/owner. Maybe they will change their policy if enough people complain, and then neither the customer nor the server has to feel uncomfortable.
Why in the world would you invade someone's space especially when they are eating? Servers should never sit or squat, it is so hillbilly. How's your meal? agh!! .........meal, what a hick word.
OMG!!!
We had a waiter sit with us, put his head on the table. He said he was tired.
We paid for our drinks and left.
Whatever marketing genius thought it was a good idea to have the staff SIT with you is an idiot.
I also hate when the server wrestles the plate away from me while I am still eating. Do not touch my plate unless I am done.
Scientific study (supposedly) says that you make more tips if you turn yourself into a "somebody" vs just a slave to the customer. To the people who don't like the servers who squat down or sit at the table...you obviously have never served. As a server, I personally hate it. Restaurants encourage or require the personalization because of this theory. As a server, I am going to say the worst thing I have to deal with is people who assume I am working there because I am not qualified for anything else. A majority of the younger servers are there working through college. A lot of the older night staff usually have white collar jobs during the day (sometimes quite successful). I know that I personally make more money than our general manager at my chain restaurant because of my combined incomes. I'm not there because I'm less qualified, I'm there because I like serving. Those couple of people who are completely awesome and personable make up for the idiots who don't think about the "why's" of what we do.
Well if you are working your way through college, and don't yet have a degree, then you are qualified for much else, right?
I served at Chili's and we had to squat down when we talked to guests. I hated it, but if you didn't do it, you'd get fired.
Yo Walrus, the din of a restaurant is much higher when you're standing than when you're sitting and often a waiter will need to kneel next to a table in order to properly take an order. Please keep that in mind the next time you eat out and speak your order into your menu!!
I see people discussing servers sitting down with you to take your order, but I've never in my life had a server sit down at a table with me (and I've eaten at many a casual restaurant). Where are these places that do this? I want to avoid them, because I'd find it very offensive & irritating if a server presumed to sit down next to me as if they were some buddy of mine. Stand up and do your job, and don't violate my space or insinuate yourself into my evening any more than you have to – if it's corporate's idea to do this, then I'll be relaying my displeasure to a manager (and not blaming the server!) and letting them know I'm probably not coming back again. Saying this, please don't think I'm rude or condescending to wait staff; I'm always polite & far more understanding than many other people I know, and I rarely don't leave a good tip. I just don't find being overly familiar with a customer to be professional or respectful, and I would (politely) tell the person that I don't like it.
You're using the word "insinuate" improperly.
Doesn't bother me if a good looking chick sits down, but I'm not crazy about a guy sitting there. Is there something wrong with me?
Without ANY doubt, my biggest server/restaurant pet peeve is when they bring the main course shortly after the appetizer/salad...when I'm still working on it! And since I'm still "workign on it", I end up with my main course set in front of me, starting to get cold, as well as the appetizer! I feel like livestock at a trough. I have had that happen all over the world, not just in the USA. I hate that so much that I've begun not even ordering a main course until I/we're half done with the appetizer, to ensure that doesn't happen.
Um, newsflash: servers have several tables, and we are not psychic. We put the main course order in the computer when we believe you will be done or nearly done with your salads within the next 10 minutes (depending on the food items). If you take longer to eat than expected, sometimes we can slow the order down, sometimes not. As a server I try to ensure the timing is correct, but I'm not perfect. And God forbid you spend less than two minutes without food in front of you and demand your next course immediately. Most of the time good servers can make it so you're at least 90% done with your salad or appetizer, but not all people have the same signals for being done (some want to save their salad, some are finished but don't push their plate away). I even waited on a table where they barely nibbled their salads or appetizers for 30 minutes, so I didn't ring in their main course, thinking they wanted to take their time. And was then asked, "where are the entrees?" Not all diners eat the same way and we can't read your mind. Next time you get upset that the meal comes out too early, try to remember that the kitchen cannot always bend to the will of one person and severs try their hardest but can't get the timing perfect 100% of the time. And especially at lunch, when servers are told to put in all the orders at once since people are in a hurry. So yes you WILL get your main course before you're done with your salad more than likely. Ordering salads before the main course IS a smart idea, but if you go into a diatribe and explain to the server how picky you are about the timing, and especially in the manner you just described, don't be surprised if your credit card is "declined". We work our asses off, so getting blamed and insulted because of past servers' mistakes before we've even taken your order is NOT going to make your dining experience any more pleasant. So be kind to your server, and she'll be kind to you.
Last night a bunch of friends and I were eating at a restaurant that I frequent (local, not a chain), but we were sitting in a new area with a different server. She grabbed a chair and sat down with us to take our order and I was so flattered by the gesture. I never had a waitress sit with me before. I really have no idea why others are complaining about this. I found it easy to talk to her when she was at my level (especially since I have a soft voice and dislike having to yell) and didn't feel rushed for once.
I manage a fast food restaurant and know how rushed you can get. If the situation were to arise where I had the ability to sit down and take time with customers, I hope that they would appreciate that I am taking extra time with them when there are so many other tasks I need to complete.
And don't give me that etiquette bull-crap. It's not like the waiter's doing anything offensive. Pay more attention to your own actions for a change. God forbid we value and appreciate one another.
So, yes, the sit-down order seemed very polite and I highly appreciated it. Thank you, servers. I realize how tough your job can get. =)
this article made me mad quite frankly. first of all i agree that there are servers who are not good. with that being said, i wish every person who has never been in the service industry before would try it out for awhile. try dealing with idiotic, rude, belittling, and insulting customers on a daily basis. people have no idea how rude they can be to servers for no reason at all. even if a mistake was made, trust that your server is doing everything in their power to correct it. also remember that you are not the only table your server is waiting on and every other person in their section needs something at the same time you need something, so don't get your panties in a bundle. so if you get annoyed that your server asks if you are 'still working on that' try learning some social manners and giving them the signal that you are done. put your napkin on the table and adjust your silverware on your plate accordingly. some people are NOT still working on it even though their fork is in their hand, their plate is full, and they haven't touched their food in 15 minutes. we are not mind readers. would you rather we not ask and just leave you their to fend for yourself?
Actually there was a study done and published in some newspaper (sorry I do not remember which one) that concluded statistically that when a server gets down to a customers eye level his tip goes up a certain proportion. Look it up if you want!
I read about as many of these responses as I could muster, but there's only so much a girl can take so forgive me if I"m repeating things that have been said before.
For those who attacked servers who referenced encountering the occasional douchebag, you must be extremely delusional to not realize these people exist. I've seen a grown woman throw a screaming temper tantrum in a restaurant lobby because she couldn't be seated immediately on Mother's Day, have been handed hotel keys by randy businessmen who somehow believed I'd be interested in paying them a visit after work, have been asked, in front of a large group of diners, whether I'd ever "faked it" with a guy, and heard diners use racial slurs to address my coworkers. You name it and in my 7 years of waiting tables (through college and law school), at a FAMILY restaurant, no less, I saw it. Douchebags exist, and something tells me there might just be a few responding here.
Servers don't tend to get close to you for no reason, they see far too many people in a shift, in a work week, in a year, to care one way or the other whether they're your buddy or not. If they squat at a table, it's generally so they can hear and be heard and so they can make eye contact rather than having their customer strain their neck or be face-to-face with their girly parts or man bits. Sure some restaurants encourage it, but the truth is sometimes you have to get a little closer to your patrons, like it or not, to do your job well. I know how hard their job is so I always, no matter what else is going on for me that day, treat servers with respect and I have always gotten respect in return.
As for the ones saying they don't tip and try to get their friends not to tip either, shame on you. Serving food is one of the most physically and emotionally exhausting jobs imaginable. No server ever sets out to do a bad job, and whether you choose to believe it or not, many things that go wrong in a restaurant are out of that server's control. This world would be a better place if each and every person had to work in a service industry during their lifetime. You might just find a new respect for the person who brings you food at a restaurant, whether they squat by your table or not.
I agree with the former bartender who said those in service industries have long memories. Fortunately it works both ways–treat them well and they'll treat you like gold, but treat them poorly and you can't expect their service to improve.
seriously? really? is that why you have no friends?
Gee, kev-o, how original. ::eyeroll:: Sounds to me like you're one of those douchebags and got called out.
actually, it's a nice gesture to come down to your level so they're not looking down at you.
and, i've never had a waiter act funny when i was dining by myself. the biggest problem is our drinks aren't filled enough and this writer is complaining about too much? good lord- probably whines that the husband does the dishes too often as well. and just an hour ago, i was dining at a restaurant and was done but hadn't pushed my plate away. i am VERY happy the waiter still asked to take it away because it gave us more space at the table but it was such a live conversation i didin't even think to push it away. i can think of 20 more annoying things than what was written in this article. this is just plain nagging.
I hate when guests treat you like you're less then them. That seems to be the problem these days people think they are better than you, and they are not. Get over yourselves.
II was a server/bartender on and of for about 10 years. Most of the things we did were policy. These chains have huge research teams who poll and survey customers, conduct market research, etc. They even do this with the menu items. We were told often times (in various different restaurants that I worked in) to get at eye level with the customer, whether it be sitting with them or crouching down at the end of the table. Supposedly, it makes most people feel more comfortable because they don't have someone towering over them while standing next to them. The aforementioned research groups found that when servers would stand at the end of the table, most people felt like they weren't be respected as much (apparently because the server is looking down at them as if they are better than them). Getting at eye level made people feel more at ease in the studies that were conducted. Restaurants, like any other place, are one big corporate machine wherein everything the employees do is laid out in some standardized document or policy.
I have been serving many years and one of the places I work is Applebees and they want you to sit with your guests,some like it some don't you kind of know when they don't..the other place is fine dining and is absalutely not aloud...
I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND when the server says, 'hey, what can I guy you guys?' I am not a guy!
@Burbank- you got that word wrong, its servER, not servANT. BIG DIFFERENCE!
The reason servers ask more than once if the chicken is good is because customers tend to have a timeline when their mood and taste buds change. Within 10 minutes a server, a supervisor and a manager could ask you and you say everything is perfect, but somehow an hour later or a day later on an online survey that "good" chicken was the worse thing you ate. Maybe if service is so bad, you should eat at home, but you are too lazy too cook for yourself or your life is so hectic. Humans are always going to be critacal, which is why we have this site.